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Facts about Prone Masturbation
Although about 90 percent of males masturbate by hand, about 5-10 percent masturbate by lying face down and thrusting the penis into or against the bed, pillow, or something else. Although masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, prone masturbation causes severe sexual dysfunction in most males who practice it. This web site describes prone masturbation and the problems of its practitioners and offers case studies and approaches to becoming cured.
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What is prone masturbation?
Prone masturbation is the habit some males have of masturbating in a face-down (prone) position. Some males who masturbate this way rub their penises against the mattress, pillow, or other bedding, or the floor. Some practitioners lie on their stomachs and thrust into their hands. Masturbation is very enjoyable and healthy, and only a small fraction of males masturbate prone; around 90 percent masturbate by stroking up and down the penis with one hand.
What's wrong with masturbating prone?
Nearly all males agree that masturbating face up is a fun and delightful practice, but masturbating face down puts excessive pressure on the penis, and especially on the base of the penis. These sensations are not easily replicated in conventional masturbation or in sexual intercourse. This is not analagous to intercourse being performed face down, as most males do, because the partner's body provides more resistance than the objects a male who masturbates prone uses to thrust into or against. A vagina resists; a mattress doesn't. Prone masturbation can reduce the ability of a male to have normal sexual relations. A survey conducted for this web site revealed that males who masturbate conventionally have sexual intercourse 6.6 times more often than males who masturbate prone.
The most common problems males who masturbate prone have are delayed orgasm or a complete inability to have an orgasm during intercourse (anorgasmia). Many males who masturbate prone also have trouble getting erections. It's a common experience among males who are used to masturbating face down to be unable to have an orgasm even after engaging in sexual intercourse for over half an hour. The female partners of these men find this outcome unusual and often wonder if they are to blame for the man's inability to reach orgasm through intercourse.
|The graph shows that half of males who masturbate prone have anorgasmia or delayed orgasm during sexual intercourse almost all of the time, while no males who masturbate conventionally do. Another 9 percent of males who masturbate prone have this problem most of the time, while only 4 percent of males who masturbate conventionally do.
Nearly 60 percent of males who masturbate prone suffer from anorgasmia or delayed orgasm most of the time they have sexual intercourse, while only 4 percent of males who masturbate supine do.
|The graph shows that nearly a third of males who masturbate prone suffer from erectile dysfunction most of the time they have sexual intercourse, while only 5 percent of males who masturbate supine do.
Two thirds of males who masturbate face-down suffer from erectile dysfunction during sexual intercourse at least sometimes, while 86 percent of males who masturbate face-up rarely or never have this problem.
These things are understandable consequences of prone masturbation. Even males who enjoy masturbating the conventional way don't get as much stimulation from intercourse as from masturbation (because in masturbation one can control precisely the type, force, and location of the stimulation one gets, while in intercourse a lot of that is not under control.) For males who masturbate prone, the amount of stimulation in intercourse is a small fraction of what they get masturbating.
How does it happen that some males masturbate prone?
More than 90 percent of males learn to masturbate through self-discovery. Males who masturbate in the prone position unfortunately self-discovered an unconventional method. The small fraction of males who learn to masturbate from other people invariably learn to do it the conventional way. (Most males who discover it for themselves also discover the conventional way.)
Supine means lying on the back, and prone means lying on the stomach. Prone masturbation means masturbating in a position similar to the prone position pictured above. (Image courtesy medtrng.com)
What's the conventional way to masturbate?
About 90 percent of males lie on their backs (or sit up) and make a fist around their penises and stroke in an up and down motion until they have an orgasm. This method has acquired such cachet as the usual way for males to enjoy masturbation that many sex education books don't even mention any other method. Nearly all males who masturbate prone are aware of the conventional method of male masturbation, but many think that their way is merely a harmless variation, or even that it's better than regular masturbation. All men who masturbate face down think the way they masturbate is more similar to missionary-style intercourse than conventional masturbation is.
Conventional masturbation is a basic sexual skill for males. It is a norm. When more than 90 percent of a group do a particular thing, that thing is a norm. Masturbating by hand is so much a norm that many men can't conceive of taking pleasure in masturbating any other way. Few other things that males do are as much of a norm as masturbating by hand. Whenever masturbation is lampooned on TV or the movies, it is always conventional masturbating by hand that is seen and/or mocked. Even if someone were to believe that a male should be able to choose to masturbate prone if he wishes, that male should still be able to masturbate by hand (conventionally) as a basic sexual skill. By not being able to masturbate conventionally, these males are lacking a basic sexual skill.
Isn't prone masturbation more like intercourse than conventional masturbation?
Only in the sense that sitting on a park bench is more similar to piloting a boat from a chair than piloting a boat while standing is. The amount of pressure the penis gets (and the parts of it that get stimulated) in intercourse are more similar to conventional masturbation than to face-down masturbation. A woman's vagina provides more resistance than the mattress does. It defies what every male who masturbates prone regards as common sense, but those who masturbate the typical way have the fewest problems adjusting to intercourse. Pressure on the penis in intercourse is more similar to conventional masturbation than it is to prone masturbation.
The problem is less one of physiology and more one of psychology, mental conditioning. Suppose you had been typing your whole life using a computer keyboard (which you probably have been) with its soft, easy touch, and then you tried to learn a manual typewriter, which requires forceful tapping of the fingers on every keystroke. You might go quietly nuts, especially if you have to switch between the two. There is nothing in your physiology that prevents you from typing on a manual typewriter. For almost 100 years, it is how everyone learned to type. You have just been using a computer keyboard so long that its ease is second nature for you. You might be able to type 75 words per minute on a computer keyboard but then find you are having trouble doing even 30 on a manual typewriter. But if you were trained on a manual typewriter, you would find it no problem at all to switch to an electric typewriter or the computer keyboard.
For males with a history of masturbating prone, to them prone masturbation is like a computer keyboard and having intercourse is like switching to a manual typewriter. Conventional (manual) masturbation is more like using the manual typewriter. It does not put as much pressure on the penis as prone masturbation. The pressure is more the same as it is in intercourse. So for guys who are used to ordinary masturbation, sex comes more naturally.
How many males masturbate prone?
The late Dr. Wardell Pomeroy, co-author to Alfred C. Kinsey of Sexual Behavior in the Human Male estimated that five to ten percent of males regularly masturbate in the prone position.
|The graph shows that 80 percent of males who masturbate face-up say that intercourse is more fun than masturbation, but only 57 percent of males who masturbate face-down agree. This indicates that males who masturbate prone don't enjoy intercourse as much as other males.
When was prone masturbation recognized as a problem?
Some of the leading authors of books about male sexuality have noted that prone masturbation is dysfunctional. Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld, in his groundbreaking 1978 book Male Sexuality described the case of a man in his 20s who masturbated prone and had problems with erectile dysfunction and anorgasmia. He advised men in this situation to expand their sexual horizons by learning to masturbate in the usual way. Drs. William Hartmann & Marilyn Fithian also presented a case of prone masturbation in their 1984 book Any Man Can. This patient had to "learn a new pattern of sexual response" before he could be functional in intercourse. Dr. Eva Margolies, in her 1994 book Undressing the American Male characterized prone masturbation as a manifestation of regressed sexuality.
The first article devoted entirely to the hazards of prone masturbation was published in 1998 the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy by Dr. Lawrence I. Sank of the Cognitive Therapy Center of Greater Washington in Bethesda, Maryland. Sank's article was the first to focus specifically on prone masturbation as a cause of sexual dysfunction. Sank called prone masturbation Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome.
What research has been done on prone masturbation since Sank's article?
Other scholars have followed Sank in blaming prone masturbation for sexual difficulties.
- Drs. Barbara Bartlik & Marion Zucker Goldstein (2001) mention "atypical masturbatory styles, such as the face-down position," as frequent causes of male orgasmic disorder (delayed ejaculation). (article)
- Dr. Scott Gilbert (2003) blames "conditioning caused by unique or atypical masturbation pattern" for delayed ejaculation.
- Dr. Josie Lipsith, Damien McCann, and David Goldmeier (2003) found that every man in their study (all of whom suffered from erectile or orgasmic disorder, or both) had his own "idiosyncratic style" of masturbation and that in sexually dysfunctional men, "orgasm becomes conditional upon the narrow stimulus of the individualís masturbatory style" (article)
- Dr. Michael Perelman (2004) cites Sank's thesis, calling prone masturbation "the counterproductive consequence of high-frequency masturbation in the prone position." (article)
- Drs. Daniel Richardson & David Goldmeier (in two 2006 articles) cite Sank as an example of how atypical masturbatory practices have been shown to cause a "disabling" of a man's ability in penetrative sex.
- Dr. Georgie Whelan in 2008 replicated Sankís work with three different cases from her Australian practice.
- Dr. Pega Ren (2008) describes prone masturbation as even more troublesome than Sank does. (article)
- Dr. R. Murray Thomas (2009) notes that prone masturbation is one of the ways pre-pubescent boys learn to experience their sexuality, but leaves such experimentation out of his conception of grown-up masturbation. "For the postpubescent male, masturbating consists of stimulating the penis by pumping it rapidly until the pleasurable sensation of orgasm is reached and semen is ejaculated." (book)
- Jelto Drenth (2012) notes prone masturbation as one possible factor and something to be considered influencing genital pain in patients having difficulty with that condition. "They learn to masturbate by lying on their stomachs on the sheet or sliding [across] a pillow," translated from the Dutch by Google. (article, in Dutch)
- Gila Bronner & Dr. Itzhak Z. Ben-Zion (2014) devise a treatment plans for males with sexual dysfunctions stemming from unusual masturbatory practices and also a series of screening questions that primary care physicians should use to detect sexual dysfunctions and unusual masturbatory practices in their clients. Among these is "Do you masturbate on your back, or stomach, or another position?" They describe "normal masturbation" as essential to sexual functioning and note, "Changing the patientís masturbatory practice to be more compatible with sex with a partner led to a beneficial impact on his sexual function and enabled him to engage in normal intimate relationships." "Masturbatory practices may ... sometimes lead to [sexual dysfunctions], and we propose several detailed questions to elicit the nature of problematic habits." (Journal of Sexual Medicine 11:1798Ė1806 (2014). article)
- Michael J. Butcher, DO (Park Nicollet Health Partners, Minneapolis) & Robert E. Brannigan, MD (Northwestern Memorial Hospital, Chicago) (2016) report, "Idiosyncratic masturbation style refers to an individualís technique that involves the combination of pressure, speed, duration, and intensity needed to achieve an ejaculation and orgasm which is not reproducible with a partner using hands, mouth, and/or vagina. Men who practice this type of masturbation have a higher rate of sexual dysfunction. ("Ejaculatory Disorders," in Contemporary Treatment of Erectile Dysfunction, Tobias S. Kohler & Kevin T. McVary, eds., New York: Humana Press, 2016. chapter)
Much survey research about prone masturbation has also been conducted by the author of HealthyStrokes.com.
When was prone masturbation first documented?
The ancient Romans had a word for it. They referred to male masturbation by different words depending on how it was done. The word for the prone masturbation method was trudo, which literally means "I thrust." No doubt this stemmed from the open way in which masturbation and other bodily functions were carried out in ancient Rome.
Is it always harmful to masturbate prone?
Yes. While some of the popular information about masturbation on the Internet promotes face-down masturbation as merely a harmless variation, individuals who masturbate prone report that the effects of this are generally cumulative. So, although occasional prone masturbation may not produce any immediately noticeable negative effects, over time it can result in a gradual or sudden loss of sexual function. Since every time a male practices this behavior, he is applying unnatural pressure and stimulation to his genitalia, it is never a good idea to engage in this type of masturbation. Dr. Sank supports this in his article, reiterating that masturbation is supposed to be performed with the hand while lying supine. The challenge for the male who masturbates prone is to learn to masturbate that way -- every time -- and to restore sensitivity to the penis for successful sex. Every male should be able to experience the pleasure of masturbating by hand.
The very nature of prone masturbation means that it can only be done in bed. Normal males can masturbate almost anywhere.
|The graph shows that males who masturbate face down do almost all their masturbating in bed and hardly any in the bathroom. The "other" in their case too often means their bedroom floor. Meanwhile, males who masturbate face up have more variety in terms of location, with bed and bathroom being approximately equal along with "other," which in their case is more likely to mean the living room or computer desk.|
How prevalent are the problems males who masturbate prone have in bed?
A survey conducted for this web site revealed that those who masturbate face down are five times more likely than those who masturbate face up to have erectile dysfunction and twelve times more likely to have anorgasmia.
Most men who masturbate prone, if they can have intercourse at all, are usually limited to the "missionary" position. They also report an inability to achieve orgasm from fellatio. Since they are unable to manually stimulate themselves to orgasm, naturally they are unable to have manual intercourse performed on them by a partner. The majority of males who masturbate conventionally have had intercourse successfully in at least five positions.
|The graph shows that more than 90 percent of both males who masturbate face down and males who masturbate face up have succeeded at least once at missionary intercourse. However, while four other blue bars, representing success in other intercourse positions by males who masturbate face up, tower past the 50 percent mark, no other red bars, representing success in those positions by males who masturbate face up do.
The implication is clear: Males who masturbate face down, if they can have intercourse at all, are limited to the missionary position.
Does prone masturbation cause physical damage in addition to these psychological problems?
Possibly. The penis wasn't designed for such brutal contact. But nearly every male can become sexually normal by merely giving up prone masturbation and learning to masturbate conventionally, which suggests that physical damage is minor or even non-existent. A few males who masturbate prone have reported having urologic examinations of their penises which found no physical or organic damage. This doesn't mean that physical damage is impossible; only that none of thousands of males with a history of masturbating prone who have been in contact with the author since 2002 have ever reported being diagnosed with physical injury to the penis.
How does one unlearn prone masturbation?
One has to stop masturbating in prone fashion and learn to do it the conventional way. This might take a bit of time and practice. Many practitioners can masturbate the conventional way if they haven't had an orgasm for an extended period of time, perhaps a week. By limiting masturbation to only when they can do it without resorting to their old (face-down) habits, they can learn to masturbate conventionally. Most males who find out about the dangers of prone masturbation and decide to give it up are able to masturbate by hand while lying on their backs within a week.
I've been masturbating every day since junior high school, and I can't conceive of quitting now!
No one is asking you to quit masturbating, only to stop masturbating prone. According to Dr. Sank, most males who masturbate prone do it daily. (Many normal males -- and most younger ones -- masturbate daily too.) You can quit for days at a time. Your penis will be more sensitive after a period of abstinence and this will make it easier for you to learn to masturbate manually.
I masturbate to help me sleep at night. This makes me reluctant to quit even for a week.
Perhaps half of male masturbation happens at bedtime. But one must forego daily masturbation at least as long as is necessary to habituate the penis to regular masturbation. It might be necessary to use other means of falling asleep in the meantime. A prescription or non-prescription sleep aid might be helpful.
I masturbate prone and I'm a virgin. I have no problem getting a nice, firm erection whenever I want one. Why should I believe that I'll have sexual problems someday?
First of all, it's not possible to will yourself to have an erection. That fact is well established. If it seems like you can, it's because when you're young
- Spontaneous erections are frequent; and
- Erections come easily with very little stimulation.
This is something every man has to deal with, and the change is compounded in the male who masturbates prone. As you become more and more habituated to the feelings you get from prone masturbation, you will have a more difficult time achieving an erection without that level of stimulation. Many men first realize their masturbatory position is a problem when they find they don't have an erection when they start a masturbation session -- and sometimes they don't even have one when they reach orgasm.
The good news is that if you're young and sexually inexperienced, you can cure yourself more easily than an older man can, and you can be cured before you ever have to explain your difficulties to a partner.
I masturbate prone regularly and I'm not a virgin. I don't have any problems having sex with women at all.
Consider yourself lucky. You might be one of the minority of males who masturbate prone who don't experience sexual dysfunctions, or you might be young enough that you're not experiencing them yet. Why take unnecessary chances? Masturbating prone isn't worth the risk of sexual dysfunction. Why not give up prone masturbation before you experience any sexual trouble? Your situation is a lot like that of a smoker your age. You don't have lung cancer, emphysema, or heart disease, so why should you believe that smoking causes those things?
Some women like it that I can make love for a half hour without orgasming. Isn't this an advantage of prone masturbation?
No, it isn't. If a man can refrain from ejaculating until a woman is satisfied, it can be a good thing, but only if the man is controlling it. It is not a good thing when a man has to have sex for half an hour because he doesn't know how to finish.
Is it necessary to masturbate at all?
Yes, it's necessary for males to masturbate.
Let's take a step back from masturbation and talk about ejaculation. It's necessary for males past puberty to ejaculate. The male sexual organs produce a number of fluids that have to be eliminated periodically. Doctors specializing in sexuality generally agree that a male must ejaculate (at a bare minimum) once every two weeks to avoid damage to his sexual functioning. However, more than 98% of males under the age of 60 ejaculate much more often than this. A team of doctors led by Dr. Graham Giles published a study in 2003 that found that males who ejaculated most often when they were young had the least incidence of prostate cancer later. They state that masturbation is healthier for the prostate than having intercourse, because masturbation doesn't expose the prostate to STDs. Dr. Giles recommends that younger males masturbate at least six times a week.
So ejaculation is necessary. If a male doesn't ejaculate by having intercourse (or wet dreams, which are uncommon in boys who have learned how to masturbate) -- then masturbation is necessary. So as a practical matter, yes, it's necessary for males to masturbate. Very few males claim to never masturbate, and some authorities say there are no males past puberty who never masturbate.
The average male masturbates well over 1000 times before he ever has sexual intercourse.
How often is it normal to masturbate?
Considerable variation exists among males, even in the same age group. Surveys done by HealthyStrokes.com find that the average male masturbates about once a day from puberty to age 24. A rule of thumb in males under 30 is
where M is the weekly masturbation frequency and I is the weekly frequency of sexual intercourse. So, a male under 30 who has intercourse twice a week probably masturbates four times a week while one without a partner probably masturbates eight times a week.
Can anything be done to prevent boys from starting to masturbate prone in the first place?
Yes. Prone masturbation could be prevented if fathers would tell their sons the conventional way to masturbate when they're about 11-13. It would also be useful if males that age could learn the proper way to masturbate in sex ed and also that prone masturbation is dysfunctional.
Just print this page for young people out and give it to him. It contains all the information he needs and nothing his parents don't want him to know.
Is professional help an option in dealing with prone masturbation?
It might be useful, but it's not necessary. Any competent sex therapist who knows about the hazards of masturbating prone will tell you the behavior has to cease. If it's easier for you to stop masturbating prone because a sex therapist tells you to rather than because you read it here, then by all means hire a sex therapist.
Informal help is available from other males who have practiced prone masturbation and suffered from its dysfunctions online. A support group has been online since February 2002 on Yahoo! Groups. To subscribe, click here or see the box at the bottom of this page.
How can I stop masturbating against the bed (prone)?
Remember, you don't need to quit masturbating. You only need to modify the way you practice it. You taught yourself how to masturbate face-down, and now you can teach yourself to masturbate face-up. It'll be easier this time around because you already know which erotic buttons to push, but it'll be harder too, since you have to set aside some of the shortcuts to orgasm you've been taking.
What follows are some exercises to help you quit masturbating prone. Please note that they are really parts of the same program rather than separate strategies.
Here is a one-page guide to quitting prone masturbation suitable for printing. It contains no embarrassing text or illustrations: One-page guide
Prone masturbation cessation exercise no. 1: Will Power
Abstain from masturbating until you can do it using only your hand while lying on your back. You might already know how many days of abstinence will let you masturbate with your hand. If so, pick that as a target. Let's say it's seven days. (If you've never masturbated the conventional way, start by abstaining for seven days.) Pick a date and time seven days from your last orgasm (which in this example was Tuesday at 7 AM). Make a chart that looks like this:
|Day||Time||Hours elapsed||Hours to go|
Ending like this:
|Day||Time||Hours elapsed||Hours to go|
NOTE: If you have a partner, you also have to abstain from sex with them during the abstention period. It's really abstention from ejaculation as much as from masturbation.
It really makes it easier to go that time when you can look at the chart (hourly, if your will power needs that much boosting) and see how many hours left. There's an enormous sense of satisfaction at the four day point when there are more hours elapsed than hours to go. Remember, if you yield to temptation and masturbate before the period is up, you will have wasted that many elapsed hours and have to start over again.
Here's a tip -- sleeping with more clothing on will make it more difficult to start masturbating in your sleep, whether accidentally or not. Try wearing underwear and pajama bottoms, or underwear and sweat pants. It's a lot easier to get stimulated in bed when you're naked (which is probably why people sleep naked).
Here's another tip -- if you're used to masturbating against your bedding, replace your bedding with something less comfortable. Get rid of silky, satiny sheets and put on something new and rough. Get rid of that slick nylon comforter and put on a heavy, itchy blanket. Go to a thrift store and buy something so uncomfortable that you would never want your naked erection against it.
It's a good idea to leave your penis alone as much as possible during the abstention period. Any masturbating, even short of orgasm, is counterproductive during this period.
When the end of your abstention period arrives, proceed to masturbate using only the conventional method. It is easiest to masturbate lying on your back because there is nothing pressing downward on any part of your body. Try to use as little force as you can (i.e., don't grip very hard). Do not resort to prone masturbation if the conventional method doesn't work right away! After a week without an orgasm, even the most veteran practitioner of prone masturbation should have no trouble masturbating to orgasm using the standard method.
If orgasm through conventional masturbation then occurs easily (less than 5 minutes), try abstaining for only two or three days. If it took longer than twenty minutes, abstain for four or five days. Once you've succeeded after only three days, try two, and so on. Within a month, you will likely be at the point where you can masturbate as often as you like using only the conventional method. You know you've succeeded when you've given up prone masturbation and are able to masturbate conventionally daily for a month.
Quitting masturbation is never easy, even for only a few days. This is especially true when making a conscious effort to not masturbate, as opposed to abstaining for a few days because of necessity. Orgasm is not only physically pleasurable, but it also brings a sense of comfort and security to people. So you need to deal not only with the pressures you're getting physically, but also with the psychological benefits you get from masturbating.
Prone masturbation cessation exercise no. 2: Location, location, location!
Many males associate being in their bedrooms with masturbation as much as with sleep -- and there's really nothing wrong with that. But if that automatic connection is driving you to masturbate when you'd rather be abstaining, try spending as little time in the bedroom as possible. In fact, go someplace where you know you'll never be able to masturbate.
- Go home only to sleep. Spend your evenings away from home.
- If you're tempted even being in bed only to sleep, try sleeping in a recliner in the living room or in the driver's seat of your car.
- If you live with other people, leave your bedroom door open at night.
Remember, you'll be done with these restrictions as soon as you learn to masturbate conventionally.
Prone masturbation cessation exercise no. 3: Lose the visual stimuli
When you're trying to abstain, lock up those magazines and videos that help you masturbate. Avoid watching things on TV where things of a stimulating nature are apt to appear. When it's time to masturbate at the end of your abstention period, you might not need any visual aids (and possibly you won't even need a sexual fantasy) -- although it might be useful to use them and is perfectly OK to do so.
Prone masturbation cessation exercise no. 4: Use a sleep aid
The over-the-counter (OTC) remedy Benadryl has a variety of uses. One of them is to help people fall asleep faster. Most of the OTC sleep aids contain Benadryl (diphenhydramine). Taking Benadryl while trying to abstain will not only help you fall asleep faster, reducing the amount of time you spend trying to fall asleep, it might even keep you from getting unwanted erections during your abstention period. Caution should be exercised in starting any new drug. It's a good idea to consult your doctor before trying Benadryl or any sleep aid.
Prone masturbation cessation exercise no. 5: Step down to your hand
If you're having trouble giving up prone masturbation, try thrusting into your hand instead of whatever you're thrusting into now. While still a form of prone masturbation, thrusting into your hand is less harmful than thrusting against bedding, the floor, or some other object. A male accustomed to masturbating prone ought to be able to switch to thrusting into his hand without much trouble. It helps to use a water-based lube like K-Y Liquid (not K-Y Jelly) or Astroglide. Think of this change as a transitional step to make a complete elimination of prone masturbation easier.
How long should it take for me to be cured? And what does getting cured mean?
Getting cured means you can masturbate the conventional way as often as you like and don't feel the need to masturbate face-down anymore. You will have developed a basic sexual skill. Teenaged guys seem to get cured in less than two weeks. Older guys take a little longer but can generally be done with prone masturbation within a month of resolving to do so. Once you've been masturbating conventionally for three months (and abstaining from prone), you're apt to notice more sensitivity and strength in your erections.
When I'm cured, can I have intercourse without problems?
You should be completely cured (i.e., able to masturbate daily the conventional way) for at least a month (and perhaps longer) before attempting intercourse. There might also be a learning curve as you get used to the somewhat different feeling of post-prone intercourse. Even so, you should be much more successful at making love than you were while you were masturbating prone.
It looks like the cure program will take a month, and you're saying to wait a month before having intercourse. Why can't I just have intercourse after my week of abstaining instead of masturbating?
The cure is learning to masturbate the conventional way. It is important to masturbate the conventional way on a daily basis for at least a month (maybe longer) before you will have unlearned prone masturbation. Having intercourse sooner might not only be unsuccessful but also threatens to undo the progress you've made in getting cured. So few males have succeeded in overcoming prone masturbation by having intercourse that it is more prudent to say that trying to do so is more likely to set you back than to cure you.
Can my partner and I do anything sexual during this time?
During the initial abstinence period, when you're working on learning to masturbate by hand for the first few times, do absolutely nothing with your partner, and try not to stimulate yourself either (except, of course, when you masturbate after the proper abstinence period). Once you're at the point where you can masturbate every other day by hand in a reasonable amount of time, you can stimulate your partner sexually by hand or mouth. After you're done working on your partner, you can masturbate alone. (It's probably a bad idea for your partner to watch at that point. You don't need to be self-conscious about your new method.) When you've masturbated by hand daily for a month, then you and your partner should try intercourse. (You'll like it a lot better than before!)
You say sleeping with clothes on will keep one from masturbating in one's sleep, accidentally or not. What does that mean?
Some find they masturbate involuntarily while they're sleeping. Sleep masturbation almost always happens when one is sleeping nude. The penis erects, and the person somehow starts thrusting. This is different from a wet dream because the penis doesn't need stimulation in a wet dream.
I can't wait to watch myself ejaculate! That's something I can't see when I'm masturbating on my stomach.
Initially, you should avoid watching. Since you're not used to seeing it, it will make you self-conscious and ironically you won't ejaculate as much as if you were not watching. Wait until you're used to ejaculating that way and then enjoy the show.
How long should it take to masturbate by hand?
Ordinarily, a male should be able to reach orgasm by masturbation in 5 to 10 minutes. Some males stretch their masturbation sessions out to last longer, and there's nothing wrong with that. The point is, a male should be able to reach orgasm within 10 minutes if he wants to. If you're very young -- or have been abstaining from ejaculation for 5 days or more -- it might not take even that long. 10 minutes is a good target time. If it takes longer than 20 minutes, that might be a sign of mental distraction that's interfering with your masturbation. Turning off distractions (TV, radio, etc.) will help you focus on what you're doing, and using a sexual fantasy (and often pictures) helps to keep you on track.
A sign that you're masturbating in a healthy fashion is that you recognize that orgasm is imminent but consciously decide to put it off for a while so you can enjoy masturbating longer. That's a skill that will be most useful when having sex with women.
Lots of young males can masturbate to orgasm in a minute or so, but that's not a skill you can use during intercourse. A woman won't be satisfied that quickly. You're doing yourself a favor if you can delay your orgasm. Even if you can't make it 10-15 minutes, even 5 minutes is better than one minute.
If you're just starting to masturbate conventionally after a history of prone masturbation, orgasms are apt to come more quickly than you're used to. Then you can develop the same kind of techniques to extend your masturbation time that you used the first time you learned how to do it.
Once I learn to masturbate conventionally, can I still do it prone on occasion?
That's a very bad idea. Prone masturbation hasn't been called "traumatic" because it's good for you. What it really is, is painful. It's damaging your sexuality mentally, and perhaps also physically. You should celebrate being cured by vowing never to go back. Most males "cheat" by masturbating prone occasionally in the first few months after switching. When you have no desire to masturbate prone anymore, that's another sign that you're cured.
Will orgasms be as good after I'm cured?
They might be different. If you think that means they're not as good, maybe you need to change your thinking. Prone masturbation might have given you awesome orgasms, but they came at the expense of having orgasms in other situations -- and with other people. More likely, they will be every bit as good, and all the more varied. When you don't have to be in the prone position to masturbate, you can do it in a whole lot of other places -- the computer desk, watching TV, the car, a bathroom, outside. It will all be up to you.
Once you're cured, you might not even remember what prone masturbation was like. You'll be every bit as sexually functional as a man who's never masturbated prone.
Overall, giving up prone masturbation and learning to masturbate with your hand will make you more whole sexually.
I read through this whole page and I'm not sure what prone means.
Supine means lying on the back, and prone means lying on the stomach. Prone masturbation means masturbating in a position similar to the prone position pictured above. (Image courtesy medtrng.com)
Is all this prone masturbation stuff real, or is it just someone having a joke?
It's real for me, as a former practitioner of prone masturbation, and it's real for the thousands and perhaps even tens of thousands of former practitioners of prone masturbation (and their partners) who have been helped by this site. The people who regard it as a joke are lucky enough that they learned to masturbate in the conventional way when they were young and don't need a site like this to tell them why they've been having trouble in sexual relations with women for years or even decades.
Why is there nothing about the author's qualifications on this site?
I have a Ph.D. from one of the world's most prestigious research universities and am a scholar at a major research university (in a field unrelated to sexuality), and there is a question whether this web site and the survey research I do connected with it would fall under the jurisdiction of their policies on the use of human subjects in research and other matters if I identified myself with my affiliation to the university on the site.
Part of this page can be printed as a PDF brochure. (If printing 2-sided, use the setting "flip on short edge" under Options.)
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Case studies from prone practioners and comments
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Read comments from prone practitioners and others who have visited this site.
Do you have a question or comment for the author of this site?
You may contact the author via e-mail or if you wish to be anonymous, enter your questions and comments in the box below. Your question may be answered on the male or female or prone pages. It's a good idea to read the topic pages to see if your question has already been answered. The author rarely answers questions about penis size.
Lawrence I. Sank, Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy 24(1): 37-42 (1998). For more information about this reference, see the articles page.
Josie Lipsith, Damian McCann, & David Goldmeier, Male Psychogenic Sexual Dysfunction: The Role of Masturbation, Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 18: 447-471 (2003).
Barbara Bartlik & Marion Zucker Goldstein, Men's Sexual Health After Midlife, Practical Geriatics, 52: 291-294 (2001).
Eva Margolies Undressing the American Male: Men with Sexual Problems and What You Can Do to Help Them. New York: Dutton, 1994.
Bernie Zilbergeld, Male Sexuality, Boston: Little, Brown, 1978, p. 141.
Cruel.com named this their site of the day on February 19, 2002. This was the site of the week of WKLS-FM Atlanta from February 25, 2002. This site mentioned in the "Playboy Advisor" column in Playboy, September 2002, p. 47, December 2003, p. 59, and August 2006, p. 41.
There are no pictures or pornography on this site.
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