This letter came from a man who masturbated normally for the first time immediately after finding this web site.
I'm 23 years old, and ever since I first started masturbating at 12 or 13, I've been doing it in the prone position. I always knew there was something strange about it because I'd never heard of anyone else doing it that way, but I just assumed it was another acceptable form. I would occasionally try to do it the proper way all my friends talked about in middle and high school, but it never seemed to happen unless I was on my stomach.
As you can probably guess, this became very problematic throughout college, when I'd start to have "sex." I never seemed to be able to climax and I even had to fake it a few times to avoid embarrassment, but I always blamed that on me wearing a condom, as I am always careful. I was always convinced that once I tried it without a condom (perhaps after marriage), it would cease to be a problem, and I never thought there was anything wrong with my "face down" masturbation because my orgasms from it were always awesome.
Last night, when I stumbled on your TMS website by accident, everything changed. My heart both jumped for joy and sank as I explored your page and all of its links, comments, and case studies. I felt relieved that I was not alone or a complete freak, but it's not often you find out that you've been living a masturbatory lie for your entire post-pubescent life. Around 7 PM last night, I swore I would never masturbate in the prone position for as long as I live. I vowed to abstain for at least four days until I could summon the courage to try it the proper way, which never worked for me before whenever I tried it.
I tossed and turned in bed all night, mostly because I've made it a habit to masturbate TMS-style right before bed every night and just felt off from not doing it. I am also the kind of guy who worries about things way more than he should, so I lost sleep at the thought of never being able to reach orgasm the proper way now that I'd given up TMS masturbation. All kinds of troubling thoughts entered my head, from not being able to get my future wife pregnant to never being able to enjoy having sex the proper way for the rest of my life. I felt scared and cheated.
This continued to distract me all day today during work. I decided I couldn't wait another three days to try it the proper way because I would continue to worry incessently about it (yes, I know it's ridiculous but I've always been a worrier). When I got home from work, I promptly locked the door, turned off the TV, closed the blinds, sat in my chair and watched a porno movie. I began to masturbate the "right" way, using my right hand (since I am right handed) and stroking up and down.
I continued this for about 10 minutes, but just couldn't seem to get anywhere. As always, something just felt off. My right hand just didn't feel right. I began to lose all hope, but decided I may as well try it with my left hand before giving up.
Lo and behold, about five minutes later I finally managed to give myself my first true "hand job" using my left hand! And you know what? It was one of the most exhilirating experiences I've ever had. I've always been convinced I wasn't capable of doing it the proper way, but it finally worked. I finally feel sexually normal, and I will continue to practice it this way with the hopes that it will get easier and more familiar each time.
A few quick questions before I close:
1) Is there anything unusual about me being able to do it the proper way after 12 years of TMS-style masturbation and only one full-day of abstinence? From the TMS website, I assumed I would need at least five days of abstinence for the proper way to be effective, since I'd done it TMS-style 100% of the time before that. But it worked after only 24 hours of cold turkey. What gives? Could I have done it improperly?
A: I don't think you did it improperly, since you know what the normal way to masturbate is, don't you? And there's a lot of variance in how long it takes guys to get cured. At your age, it's not so unusual that you could do it normally after only one day, even though most guys take 3-5 days. One TMS guy told the story that he did it once the normal way just because he was determined to. This was years before he tried to get cured or even knew it was a problem. He just wanted to experience normal masturbation. So I don't think it's so unusual.
2) Is there anything strange about me being right-handed but preferring to use my left hand while I stroke? I can't really describe why, but the angle and grip just feel more soothing on my left hand. I am not anything close to ambidextrous, so I'm just wondering if it is OK for me to keep doing it this way. A: If you look at the results of the survey we did here, you'll find a lot of guys use their weak hand.
3) Will this get easier the more I practice it? Although it took me only about 15 minutes this first time (sitting in a chair, watching TV), it definitely was not an easy experience. I have yet to try it on my back and without looking at erotic videos; do you think that will be difficult for me, or does that just come with practice (literally ;) A: Yes, it will be easier very soon. It'll be a lot like the first times you masturbated all those years ago.
Doug, the quality of my life has improved dramatically these last 24 hours, both physically and especially mentally. I can't thank you enough for summoning the courage to dedicate an entire website to a topic that most of us are too embarrassed or ashamed to discuss. Had I not found your site, I'd probably continue to masturbate TMS-style the rest of my life and never know why I couldn't reach orgasm when having sex with a woman. Now I know why, and I believe my days of anorgasmia are coming to an end. It all gets better from now on :)
Sorry for the length of this message, but the last 24 hours have been an emotional roller coaster and this is the first opportunity I've had to reflect on it. Feel free to post my entire story if you think it would help other people, as long as you take my name out of it.
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