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HealthyStrokes.com
... a site about masturbation and you!

This website has been a revelation. I'm 38 and have been masturbating in the prone position for as long as I can remember. I first ejaculated at 11 or 12 and very soon after began using the documented method, probably to disguise my activity (youngest of five children, thin bedroom walls).

Ever since there has been a nagging doubt at the back of my mind about what I was doing. When other kids or my brother talked about masturbating it was always pulling yourself, jerking off, etc. and there I was doing it in a completely different way and getting my kicks against the mattress. Nevertheless I persisted in this way until two weeks ago when I found this site. Although I almost exclusively (99%) used the prone position I used the normal method very occasionally, usually when I was at work in the toilet and unable to use a bed.

Some observations:

  • To me it seemed completely natural to do it this way because when I started it seemed to best simulate the missionary position. Before I knew it, TMS became an entrenched habit. It allowed me to masturbate first thing in the morning and last thing at night and became an integral part of my sleep routine. It also allowed me to masturbate looking at several pictures at once, hands free.
  • It seems to me that masturbating this way leads to more obsessional masturbatory behaviour. It feels really good and it's hard to stop doing it but the guilt builds up because somehow it doesn't quite seem normal. But there's no one out there telling you what is normal/not harmful. Hell, even your mates are embarrassed to broach the subject, because it is pretty much taboo. It was never a part of sexual education at school, which in my case was a part of science and was discussed in a very matter of fact way by embarrassed teachers.
  • My ex-wife used to complain that when we had sex I used to thrust too hard, but perhaps we simply weren't sexually compatible. I've had about 30 partners in my life and have had good and not-so-good sex. The not-so-great sex may not necessarily be due to my masturbatory technique. I'm single at the moment (2 children) and believe I will have enjoyable sex in the future, particularly now that I have desisted using the prone method.
  • In the two or so weeks since I have stopped using the prone position, I have been able to masturbate successfully using the conventional method. In the last week I have masturbated 8 times lying on my back in the way you recommend. I think that once I saw in writing that the way I was doing it may be detrimental, it was possible for me to break that lifelong habit and stop taking the easy way out (i.e., doing it prone against the mattress). So thank you for your courage in bringing this issue forward and thank God for the power of the Internet and its ability to bring people together.
  • My advice for anybody reading this website is to definitely change your masturbation technique as soon as possible to the conventional method. Don't give yourself a hard time about masturbating, particularly if you are young. If you can learn to please yourself in the conventional way you may find you will become less obsessional and feel less guilty.
  • I believe masturbating prone leads to an increase in anxiety because as you get older it becomes harder to maintain erections doing it this way, and this is compounded by a natural decrease in libido. You keep on trying harder and harder to prove to yourself that you are virile. The emotional and physical become intertwined and you suffer a crisis of confidence. This happened to me earlier this year and I found myself unable to orgasm during sex or maintain an erection during sex. Since then I have come to orgasm with oral stimulation with a woman, although it was a long time coming (30 minutes plus).
  • I haven't had sex since giving up the prone position 2 weeks ago but am looking forward to my next encounter. I feel I am better adjusted physically and emotionally for having stopped. I am hoping that I will become less chronic in my masturbatory habits and more confident in being able to please a partner and enjoy sex. Maybe it will be a longer process than I envision but at least I know that it would be foolish to keep doing what I was doing and be in a state of denial.

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