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This letter came from a 28-year-old uncircumcised male whose foreskin causes him problems in addition to his having TMS. The writer is also unusual for having switched from normal masturbating to TMS at an advanced age.

I have just read your TMS Website, filled in your survey and decided to write this letter, detailing my personal experience related to maybe having some form of TMS.

I'm a 28 year old heterosexual male I used to masturbate normally(?) until 4 years ago, when I first started to use the face down technique. Now I use both the normal and face down techniques.

I have attempted vaginal sex on 3 occasions with different partners - losing erection all 3 times. These 3 attempts however involved one night stands, large amounts of alcohol and condoms.

I also have a tight foreskin(- this is called phimosis) which I always wear in the forward, unretracted position. I have recently over the last few years tried stretching my foreskin (after becoming aware that it was not normal -and was causing sexual problems), but it always seems to grow back tight again. Phimosis tends to make vaginal sex difficult, as the foreskin is too tight (to allow for orgasm without pain) in the retracted position. The retracted foreskin also greatly extends the time to orgasm. Not enough stimulation is received in the unretracted position to reach orgasm. Also the foreskin tends to retract during sex also, which then leads to loss of erection.

I have found face down masturbation to give a different and stronger orgasm. I had not considered it a problem, or even heard of TMS until seeing your site. Although now that I think about it I have noticed a tendency for a greater lack of erections and strength of erection since I started to use the face down technique. I do not have any major problems getting erections or reaching orgasm, at least while masturbating using either technique(while my foreskin is unretracted). However I have found the face down technique to be useful in achieving orgasms without the specific need of an erection. I guess this compounds the problem with the face down technique. It slowly reduced the ability to have erections and the strength of the erection, while at the same time catered for not needing erections and also giving more intense orgasms. So you can see it to be addictive and also at the same time degenerative, while also inducing a physiological unawareness that a problem even exists. A problem only presents itself when other forms of sexual stimulus do not produce orgasm. And this is not usually associated with masturbation technique.

Another issue with technique I would like to raise is that usually or until recently I never used to pull the penis skin down far enough to allow my foreskin to tighten around the glans. The sensation of the foreskin getting tight increases pleasure, and does enhance masturbation, and more closely replicates vaginal sex. For some reason at some stage over the years this sensation was interpreted as painful (possibly due to the many times my foreskin has been broken)- which lead to a technique of not pulling the skin down far enough. I also never realised that pulling down all the way was the proper normal way to do it, and not doing this was causing phimosis, which in turn was causing sexual problems. Apparently some ~5-10 percent of younger males (who loose virginity later rather than earlier, and who possibly also masturbate incorrectly) suffer from phimosis. It is also usually curable by changing to the normal technique. Medically it used to be cured surgically but I think this treatment is now only considered as an absolute last resort.

I consider myself a normal heterosexual male and get aroused by women however, I have never successfully had a vaginally stimulated orgasm. This produces feelings of inadequacy and causes problems with sexuality and inevitably causes problems within relationships. If I could achieve orgasms vaginally, by abstaining from the face down technique then this would be a huge advantage and definitely a reasonable price to pay for improvements in personal relations and also in improved sexual satisfaction.

My past experiences with not being able to have vaginally stimulated orgasms I think are also related with excessive alcohol, phimosis, and getting older, but I cannot disregard some effect caused by TMS. In either case I will be trying to abstain from the face down technique, and to favour the normal technique only, just to see if this improves my ability to have normal sex.

I liked your site, and would encourage your investigations into this (most troubling and preventable) problem.

Questions:

Is it normal to dress the foreskin retracted or un-retracted? (What are the statistics?)

A: I don't know. I'm clueless about uncircumcised males.

Does normal masturbation involve some stretching of the foreskin around the glans?

A: Yes, and this is even more so for uncircumcised males. Studies show that uncircumcised males masturbate more often.

[If so this should be mentioned in your technique as it could save some of your sites surfers the hassle of also developing phimosis.]

A: Consider it mentioned.

I think your site should make reference to the problem of Phimosis and maybe your survey could be extended to maybe draw a link between the two problems? - Is there a link? - Do other phimosis suffers have TMS? - Is TMS an indicator of Phimosis? etc.

A: We'll consider your letter to be the first discussion of phimosis on this site.

Would you recommend the use of replica vaginas, or vibrating replica vaginas, (maybe normal vibrators) or some other form of masturbating or masturbation aid in order to be able to practice/experiment or otherwise improve sexual performance? It just seems that your recommendation is (while beneficial) restricting at least some pleasure.

A: Absolutely I wouldn't. You're just trading one defective form of masturbation for another when you use a fake vagina.


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