This letter came from someone who had been diagnosed with TMS (although not in those words) and came to find this web site to help.
Hi, I am a 27 year old male. I started masturbating when I was eight. I learned it by lying down on the bed and rubbing my penis on the mattress. Sometimes when I would sleep with my friends, we would pet each other and I would mount the person and rub myself to orgasm.
I first tried to lose my virginity when I was 22. I tried having sex and no matter what, I would always lose my erection upon penetration. I also had another problem: I could not withdraw my foreskin all the way back behind the head of my penis. I managed to have an orgasm by rubbing myself on my girlfriend's palm. She thought I was some kind of freak. This happened for the entire week we were trying to do it. I attributed this to nervousness and my foreskin problem.
I wanted to work on it and did some research on the web. I found another site that listed TMS under a different name, but it didn't mention anything about its effect on sexual intercourse. I decided to start masturbating the conventional way. It was hard at first, but I was pleased that my foreskin was now retracting bit by bit. By six months, it had fully retracted and I felt I had conquered it.
After a year, I tried again with a different girl and had the same problem. Then I started to worry, and even though she was trying to give me oral sex, it didn't feel good at all. I could get it up but again lost my erection on penetration. I started to lose faith that I could maintain an erection with a girl. Later that year, I ended up trying again with a different girl. When we were dancing and I was grinding her, I had no problem with an erection, but as soon as we started to have sex, it disappeared.
I started to panic. I am a pretty decent looking guy, have very good social skills and have no problem landing the chicks. That component of my life was being affected by TMS. I felt it was pointless getting the chicks and not being able to do anything. I also had this fear that sooner or later my friends would find out that I couldn't perform. Anyway, after about six months, I found this real hot chick and we really hit it off. We were dancing and making out big time and I had a giant boner. As soon as we stepped into the car, she wanted it bad and I just wasn't responding. She started trying harder and it still didn't help. At home, I was having a freakin' nervous breakdown. She tried every trick in the book but to no avail. She finally gave up and started to cry. It was the most pathetic moment of my life. I saw an urologist later that week and explained my background. I explicitly mentioned the following:
- I had masturbated in the prone postion for about 15 years.
- I had problems retracting my foreskin.
- I felt really nervous about sex.
He offered Viagra and I took it. At the back of my mind, I always knew I could beat this thing. I thought it was in my mind. Anyway, he also suggested I see a psychiatrist. At that point, I ran into your website.
That was the single most emotional moment of my life. I had at last found an answer. It didn't bother me that I had this problem; it bothered me that I didn't know what caused it, and your website answered that. Thanks Doug, you changed my life!! That was exactly a month and a half ago. Now I felt in control again, and I learned that I was losing my erection because my penis was not used to the sensation of the vagina. I decided on a course of action. I researched artificial vaginas. I bought one (Kobe Tai Ultimate P***y and A*s). At first, I couldnt even penetrate it and lost my erection again. I learned from a diferent site that this particular artificial vagina was made too small. I stuck a bottle in the vagina and left it for a couple of days to stretch it a bit. One Friday night after much partying, I came back home determined. I took my Viagra pill and put on a porn movie and started mounting the artificial vagina. It felt SO GOOD, masturbation was not even close. I came in about 15 seconds, sat back and knew that I had conquered my fear.
Meanwhile, I also started seeing this one girl. We started making out after a couple of weeks (this was at the same time as when I bought the toy). Finally, the situation arrived and I knew I was gonna have sex that night. We got into the bed and I had an erection and everything was fine and dandy. I inserted my penis into her, but it kept falling out. I lost my erection and felt terrible. :-( But she asked me to relax, and we were just lying around and she started kissing me and I got my erection back. This time there was no looking back. I learned that having sex with a girl feels very much like the toy, except that with a real human, there is direct feedback.
Anyway, hope everyone in the group beats this damn thing and maybe someday Doug will retire this group. But until then, stay focused. If you are really determined, TMS will be in your past.
- TMS squasher
What a great case history! Glad to hear you found success. I don't think the group can ever be retired. Even if all of us get cured, every day in the United States, 5,500 guys masturbate for the first time, and some of them are bound to develop our problem. I also find it curious that you think that having sex with your toy isn't masturbation and ironic that your handle is squasher. No more squashing!
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