Healthy Strokes - Caught Masturbating

Issues about masturbatory privacy: Getting "caught"

Nearly everyone agrees that masturbating should only be done in private, and do so. Nearly everyone would be mortified to be accidentally discovered masturbating, or to accidentally discover someone masturbating. This is an issue everyone worries about. People often delay or postpone masturbation when they feel they lack privacy, and people often stop masturbating while painfully close to orgasm when they hear a sound that threatens their privacy.

Concerns that someone will discover them masturbating are justified; more than half of those surveyed have said someone has accidentally discovered them masturbating at least once. Even people who have little guilt about masturbating in general feel ashamed to be discovered in the act; most refer to it as being "caught," as though they were doing something immoral or illegal.

Yet, there seems to be no consequence of being discovered. Few of the people who walk in on a masturbation session say anything about it, generally being too embarrassed themselves to say anything. Most of the people who discover someone masturbating are older and experienced with the practice themselves.

Being discovered by a spouse is different from being discovered by someone else, because the spouse is usually more concerned about the impact of a partner's masturbation on the couple's sexual life than about the act itself. This article, therefore, is concerned with being discovered by persons other than spouse or exclusive sexual partner.

Males are more likely than females to be discovered, if only due to the increased frequency at which males masturbate.

Another page on this site deals with privacy for masturbating in dorms and other shared living situations.

This segment of a sex education film from the 1970s deals with being caught masturbating:

Ricky had a lock on his door. Why didn't he use it?

Here are some actual questions from readers of this site and the author's replies.

Your site is educational. I just started masturbating about 2 months ago. I think my mom might think it's unhealthy and I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught one of these days. How should I go about telling her it is normal? (age 13)

You might be surprised to learn she thinks it's normal. That's what most mothers think. She probably does it too. In the first two years of answering these questions, I was never been asked about getting caught, so I wonder if that doesn't happen as much as it used to.

Thanks for the great site! It's helped me a lot! Once my mom almost caught me ejaculating. What's the best possible reaction if my mother or other family member catches me masturbating? (age 12)

It's probably best not to say anything about it. They will be as embarrassed as you.

I really worry that my mom will walk in on me masturbating. I've never been caught, but I often worry about it so much that I can't focus on masturbating. What should I do? (age 16)

Your mom is apt to understand, although I'm sure you would both be quite embarrassed. Is putting a lock on your bedroom door out of the question? (It helps if you have a bratty younger sibling to help justify such a modification.) You might also put something solid in front of the door so it would make a lot of noise if someone were to open it. The easiest thing would be to let anyone who barges in know that you would appreciate them knocking first.

My brother (who is 20) walked in on me masturbating yesterday and offered to buy me some magazines and an artifical vagina. Is this OK?What should I do? (age 15)

I think you should accept the offer of magazines and decline the vagina, telling him that idiosyncratic forms of masturbation can lead to sexual troubles later. And be thankful you have such a cool brother.

During freshman year, my roommate and I each walked in on the other masturbating at least once. We were both cool about it, and left each other to finish in privacy. Many other times, I heard him masturbating when he thought I was asleep. Usually, I'd wait until he was finished and went to sleep before I starting masturbating. If I had a particularly urgent need to make myself come, I just did it, and he never got uptight about it, and I'm not even sure he was aware of what I was doing. (age 23)

Obviously, it would have put no strain on your relationship if you had recognized aloud what you were doing.

My brother and dad walked in on me when I was masturbating on the couch. I'm so embarrassed that I have trouble looking at their faces. (age 14)

They didn't say anything about it, and you don't have to either. Your dad masturbates too, and if your brother is older, so does he. They have probably been discovered at some time themselves. Don't worry about it. But you might make a point of masturbating only in private.

I am paranoid about my mom finding me masturbate. Is it normal to masturbate in the shower. I tried it before but it didn't work too well. I find it hard to masturbate standing, so I lie down in the shower. Is all of this normal? (age 13)

Yes, it's normal. Most people worry about being discovered masturbating, and most eventually get discovered at least once. Oops! Most guys masturbate in the shower sometimes. If you lie down, at least make it on your back.

Hi! Your site is awesome! I was masturbating 2 days ago and my sister discovered me. She doesn't act like she saw it. What should I do? (age 13)

Maybe you don't need to act like she saw it either. Is it possible she doesn't know what she saw? Either way, I don't think there's any reason to do anything, except maybe work at having more privacy.

I masturbate regularly, and my brother walked in on me while I was practicing. He won't even look at me now, but I know that he does it too, even though I've never caught him. I am really nervous how this will affect our relationship. He never saw me this way, thinking that I am a very reserved person. I am scared about what he thinks of me now. (female)

Are you sure he knows what you were doing? How do you know he does it too? If he knows what you were doing, he will probably be OK with it once he gets over the shock of seeing it. Don't worry about it affecting your relationship. Just act like you usually do around him.

Hi! Your site is awesome! I was masturbating 2 days ago and my sister discovered me. She doesn't act like she saw it. What should I do? (age 13)

Thanks for the great site! It's helped me a lot! Once my mom almost caught me ejaculating. What's the best possible reaction if my mother or other family member catches me masturbating? (age 12)

It's probably best not to say anything about it. They will be as embarrassed as you.

My brother (who is 20) walked in on me masturbating yesterday and offered to buy me some magazines and an artifical vagina. Is this OK?What should I do? (age 15)

I really worry that my mom will walk in on me masturbating. I've never been caught, but I often worry about it so much that I can't focus on masturbating. What should I do? (age 16)

About a week ago I was masturbating and locked my door. Afterward I went to bed and forgot to unlock it. When my mom came to wake me in the morning she found it locked and suspected something bad and told me not to lock it because it's a fire hazard. Then today she walked in on me masturbating. I feel really embarrassed. What should I do? (age 15)

I think you should keep locking it during waking hours. Your mom now understands why. You can respect her request by unlocking it before you go to sleep. You shouldn't lock it only while you're masturbating because that makes it obvious why you're locking it. Decide you want some privacy while you do other things too.

My dad caught me masturbating once when I was a teen, and he told me, "go for it, all guys do it." He said he did it too. It was awesome to have his approval.

I was about 11 years old and all soaped up in the shower. My mom barged in with an urgent need to use the toilet just in time to see me ejaculate onto the glass shower door. The glass was somewhat steamed up but it was obvoius she saw it. She told me to be sure to clean up the shower when I was done. She came back in with more towels while I was still erect. Apparently it bothered me a lot more than it did her. She eventually told me she knew I was masturbating regularly because she had found ejaculate in my briefs when she was doing laundry. It was no big deal. (age 58)

Like I've said many times, I think mothers are less uptight about masturbation than their teenage sons and daughters assume they are. Always remember, if you leave semen lying around, people will have an easy time smelling it.

I was visiting my best friend in his house and I walked into his room without knocking (STUPID!!!) and discovered him masturbating. I left him alone and later tried to talk to him. I told him it was okay and that everyone did it. But he still acts mortified every time we meet and apologizes constantly. How can I convince him he did nothing wrong. I hate to see him so tortured over this. (age 17)

I think you've already done it. The problem he is facing is inside his head. He might have wanted people to think he doesn't masturbate, and he could have rationalized that that was so until someone saw him doing it. It might be best if you said nothing more about it and just talked about things you would normally talk about. Eventually he will accept masturbation as something normal and stop worrying about the incident. You likely helped him gain a greater sense of the need for privacy. It would have been worse if a female or member of his family had discovered him.

Today my dad caught me masturbating in my tub. He said nothing. I was mortified. I don't know if he cares or if he's ashamed of me. I know it's natural to masturbate, but I don't know if my parents know. What do I do? (age 14)

You don't need to do anything. By saying nothing, your dad is indicating that he knows it's natural.

After reading some of the stories and questions from your teenage readers about getting caught masturbating, I just wanted to say I think they shouldn't feel freaked out or embarrassed by it, because masturbating is a healthy behavior if not done obssessively. I, too, was caught masturbating by my father when I was in high school (I was about 16 years old). I was in my bedroom with the door closed and I thought I was alone in the house. I was really horny and decided to masturbate and, unfortunately, I forgot to lock my door. I was lying on my bed when my dad entered my room and saw me masturbating. We were both surprised, and he apologized and quickly left so I could finish. Luckily, he later talked to me about it in a calm and reassuring manner and did not make me feel embarrassed at all, but rather he helped me learn to appreciate that almost all males masturbate. I think the teens on this site are getting a lot of good information and should not be embarrassed or feel guilty about practicing something that is healthy and part of human nature. Thanks to my own experience, I know I'll be able to handle this subject with my own kids one day. Thanks for a great site. (age 25)

Thank you too!

My dad caught me masturbating about half an hour ago. I heard him come in and I turned (I was right at ejaculation) and saw him. He just said "Oh" and walked away. I was so mortified. I ran outside but it was raining and I was in pajamas, so i just sat under the overhang crying slightly. Then I came back inside and locked myself in the bathroom for about 15 minutes. I came out and went in my room. My dad came in and said it was natural. He said every guy does it eventually and he also told me not to worry about it. He said he would completely ignore it and that he wouldn't tell my mother. That last bit was the best part. Anyway, I'm still really shaken, and I know I'll be avoiding my dad today even though I should just continue on with life. (age 14)

I think your dad handled it well.

One day when my girlfriend was staying over at my house, she walked in on me masturbating. She came home from work early one day and caught me by surprise in my room. When she came in she said, "Can I join in?" So we started kissing and making out on my bed. Eventually this led to us having sex for about an hour. (age 18)

I'm glad your story had a happy ending. Some people arrange to get caught so something like this can happen.

I was caught many years ago (age 13) and still remember it. My brother walked in on me in the bathroom we shared. I felt really ashamed and embarrassed. Later he said to me, just out of the blue, "Hey, about that thing. It's really no big deal." And that was it. I felt a lot better. Decades later, I'm happily married, normal, and I still masturbate. I can't imagine a guy who doesn't. Most women do it too. I'm just posting this because I see that a lot of the younger posters here are just as worried as so many of us were at that age. (age 40)

I remember getting discovered masturbating twice in my early teen years. The first time my mom walked in on me. She just said "oops" and walked back out. When I went out to eat for dinner, she told me make to you wash my hands before eating, then she told me it was OK as long as it was in private and that I shouldn't be embarrassed about doing it. The second time was about a month later when my aunt visited us. She walked in to bring me freshly baked brownies right when I ejaculated. She just said sorry and left. My mom was cool though. She was single and played both parents. (age 23)

Those must have been pretty embarrassing incidents. They ought to convince my readers that their getting discovered wasn't quite as bad.

When I was 14, my younger brother walked in on me while I masturbated. He looked at me and then ran out, quickly running to tell mum that I was naked and touching myself. I heard her coming up to my room and quickly put my night dress on. She was so cool and also had my dad put a lock on my door to give me privacy. (age 16)

I'm glad your story had a happy ending, but you point out that a lock on the door is useful not only to protect the person who is masturbating but also to protect whoever might barge in.

I was masturbating and my mom came in and said that it's normal and she still does it all the time. Do a lot of moms masturbate? (age 15)

Oh, yes. Probably about 80 percent of them.

My mom walked in on me masturbating and she went and told my dad and he laughed really loud. What kind of sign is that? (age 14)

Probably a good one. Your mom probably didn't want to deal with it herself so she asked your dad and he decided not to say anything about it.

I don't have a story to tell because I've never been caught. How hard is it to lock the bathroom door or to do it only when no one else is home? You could even do it late at night, when everyone is asleep, or when you would be able to hear the other people in the house moving around. I don't understand how you people get caught. It isn't difficult to remain secretive. (age 15)

I think you're wrong, and that's why about 60 percent of males have been discovered at some point. When it is something you get to be in the habit of practicing daily, you will not want to do it only late at night or when no one else is home. And the more you do it, the greater the chances someone will accidentally walk in. A lot of guys who have written stories here were not being discreet, but many were and were discovered anyway.

I was sleeping over at my friends house last summer when we were both out of the 6th grade. I thought he was asleep so I started to masturbate. All of a sudden my friend got out of bed suddenly and said "sorry, I have to take a leak." I was so embarrassed. I just froze. When he came back from the bathroom, he went to his bed and started masturbating too. I thought it was a lot of fun to do it in the same room as him, except we have never been the same since. He has never had me over to his house again, and it's just not the same at school. (age 13)

I have said many times that it is very dangerous to masturbate anyplace other than the privacy of your own home. There can be ramifications when you do it any other place, and you apparently violated your friend's private space. Live and learn. Perhaps at the end of this summer, you could try to be better friends again.

I was once caught masturbating in a youth hostel, sort of. I was still practicing TMS then, and another hosteler noticed that I was masturbating, but he couldn't figure out that's what it was. He came up to me in the men's room and asked why I was doing this and then contracted his legs the way I had been doing while masturbating prone back in the bunk room. I didn't answer him and just went back to bed. I wonder if there were other people who saw this and figured out what it was. I have since quit TMS, by the way, thanks to your site. (age 23)

That's an interesting point. I think a lot of people would mistake TMS for something else, especially if they could only see the legs and not the movement of the private parts. It is, of course, a bad idea to be masturbating in a bunk room filled with strangers.

About a week ago I was on the computer looking at porn and masturbating when my mom walked in. She said if I'm going to masturbate that I've got to do it in private but it's hard because I need to look at porn. What should I do? (age 14)

Your mom is justified in setting rules for the common areas of your house. You also illustrate why I advise males of all age to be able to masturbate without pictures and to prove this by doing it once every two weeks using only fantasy. I think porn is especially bad at your age because you should be exercising your ability to fantasize.

My grandpa spotted me masturbating a few years ago, and though it's been such a long time, I still feel very guilty about it. He looked horrified when he saw me, but before he went to bed, he gave me a hug and said, "About that thing you did today, don't think about it, it's OK." It helped me at the time, but now he always seems very uncomfortable whenever he's around me. I try to think that he's forgiven me because of what he said, but his actions around me (never looking me in the eyes, jumpy if he sees me in a room by myself, etc.) make me think otherwise. It also affects me when I'm masturbating because I remember his face when he discovered me rubbing my clitoris. Sometimes I think I should bring it up and talk to him about it, but I don't know. Is there any way I can help myself and my grandpa deal with this? I love him a lot, and it hurts to see him so uneasy around me now.

You are assuming he still remembers the incident, and that is why he seems uncomfortable, but how do you know he really is? Masturbating doesn't need forgiving. I think it might help to bring it up to him. He might be more worried about discovering you again than knowing that you masturbate. It might help if you told him you have been careful about only masturbating in private since the incident.

About a month ago, my brother came in my room and he saw me masturbating and he said "I'm sorry, man." Later that night I felt a lump under my pillow and it was a stack of Playboy magazines. He was really cool about it. (age 14)

That's a pretty cool brother.

I'm a single dad who doesn't have the oppotunity to date much, so, masturbation is still a big part of my life. One morning last week, my son walked in on me. I was in the privacy of my own bedroom but, I hadn't locked the door. He saw what I was doing and promptly closed the door. At breakfast, I apologized, not for the act itself but, for not being more careful. He promised to knock on my bedroom door from now on before he enters and asked me to do the same in return. (age 45)

Just a reminder that a lock on the door not only protects the person who's masturbating, but also the person who might walk in.

My sister walked in on me one time when I was about 17. It was the absolute worst time to hear the door open because I had just reached climax. I was laying on my back and watching a movie when I started to ejaculate on my stomach. I heard the door and looked over to see her looking at me. All I could do was close my eyes. Later she said, "Don't be embarrassed. I do it too." (age 36)

Your story takes place at the point of ejaculatory inevitability. At that point, you will ejaculate no matter what happens.

In the last summer holidays in the warmth of the beach I worked under my towel to have a necessary release. It was wonderful and I was out of the world a s usual. I applied the stop and go method. After about 15 minutes in a pause of highest arousal I noticed a gentlemen, who stared at me. I recognized him as another guest, a father of three about 45, whose spouse was about 35. He had similar hopping movements with his hand under a blanket. Wow, I was embarrassed. I stopped and left in a hurry. In my hotel I realized that I had experienced a kind of sexual adventure and finished my clitoral desires. I was happy that it was the last day of my vacancies.

After basketball practice, I was the last guy in the locker room and the last guy in the shower. No one else was around or so I thought. I was in the shower masturbating when my coach walked in on me. He didn't say a word. There I stood, with my erection in hand and frozen like a deer in the headlights! He giggled and left. From then on, I only do it behind closed doors! (age 17)

You should have realized someone from the school was still around. If it had been someone less cool, you could have been in big trouble.

My two older brothers used to joke about masturbating to each other and sometimes me. I knew what they were referring to, but I still didn't know how to masturbate. The other kids in school would tease each other in similar ways and I always just pretended that I knew what they were talking about. I used to have wet dreams frequently, but I still didn't know what was happening. It wasn't until I was 17 and a few months from graduating high school that I was fed up with not knowing how to masturbate and decided that I was not going to stop until something happened. I got more than I expected. Because I'd never really known how, I didn't know what was going to happen either. My semen got all over my face, hair, headboard and the wall behind my headboard. My brothers were sleeping, but I wanted to jump out of bed and scream YESSS, because I finally realized what all the fuss was about. Afterward I began to have little marathons of masturbating, always trying to increase the number of times I could achieve an orgasm in one day. I stopped counting after I hit my goal of 21 orgasms in one day. I remember once when I was about 17 I was lying on the bathroom floor masturbating with my feet propped up on the bathtub when one of my older brothers barged in and caught me. This particular brother had been caught masturbating on numerous occassions, but I was still embarrassed because he used to tease me about having a small penis. Later I learned that he told our other siblings that he caught me masturbating, but that I had a really big penis. So sometimes being caught isn't as bad as it really looks. (age 32)

I was a counselor at a Christian camp a few summers back and there didn't seem to be any private time where I could masturbate. One day when everyone was seeing a movie, I decided to go into the back of the theater and masturbate. Unfortunately, one of my fellow counselors had the same idea and I didn't even notice until it was too late. We both ended up finding each other out and the rest of the time at camp just wasn't the same. Thanks for this site, by the way. It really makes out that masturbation is normal and common, which is something that a lot of strict Christian families don't really let you know from the start. (age 19)

That other counselor was not in a position to spill the beans about you. You could have just winked.

I would like to know why this situation makes me want to masturbate and if it is normal. I was at my doctor for an annual check-up and was asked to give a urine sample. The nurse provided me a specimen container and a gown. I put on the gown and went into the bathroom and produced the urine specimen. After placing it in the box, I noticed my penis was starting to get hard. I knew I had time because the doctor always makes you wait a long time in the exam room. I decided to masturbate. I was going to just do it quickly and ejaculate into the toilet. I didn't notice a second door leading into another exam room. While I was masturbating, the other door opened and a woman walked in and saw me. She just said oh, I'm sorry, and walked out. I was scared but quickly finished masturbating and went back into my exam room. I waited another 15 minutes or so for the doctor to arrive. My doctor is a woman and I have been seeing her for most of my adult life. Near the end of the exam, she said she knew I was masturbating in the bathroom and asked why I did that. I was shocked but said I felt the need after providing the urine sample and thought I was in private. She said not to do it in her office in the future unless asked to do so. Since then I masturbate all the time thinking about that day. It gets me hard just thinking about the woman who caught me masturbating and the doctor looking at my penis. Is this normal? (age 24)

All except the part about you masturbating in the doctor's bathroom. I can't say this enough: You take a huge risk masturbating anyplace other than your private space. You probably completely upset that woman who caught you and the doctor had to deal with it. I'll bet the doctor told her that men masturbate in that room when they're having a semen analysis, which is true. The doctor was actually pretty cool about it. Many people have doctor fetishes and the physical things that accompanied this exam -- having to wear the gown, producing the urine specimen, being caught masturbating, the penis exam -- all contribute to it. There is nothing wrong with such a fetish, but don't let it dominate your sexual thoughts.

I used my friend's computer when staying at his house after he fell asleep because I didn't have access to a computer at home. He woke up and walked in on me while I was masturbating to a picture online. He didn't really say anything, he just turned off the computer, and it is really awkward talking to him sometimes for fear of him bringing it up again. (age 18)

Just try to be normal. Would he have minded if you had used the computer to look up movie showtimes?

This story is kinda the other way around; I found a friend masturbating. About a year ago, I was at my friend's house and we were getting ready to go into his pool. I decided to get changed in his room, considering his brother using the bathroom. I accidentally walked in on him masturbating and I said "whoopsy." During our time in the pool, he brought up the subject of me catching him. He told me he likes me as more than a friend. I keep telling him to relax and that I won't tell anyone, but he won't settle down. He has been my very best friend since second grade or something, and it both bugs me and hurts me that he is so scared around me. What should I do? (age 15)

He was obviously not that upset about you seeing him masturbate; indeed, he seemed to enjoy it, because it gave him the chance to let you know of his feelings. I think it is those feelings that make you upset and not the incident. It is understandable that you are not comfortable being around someone who is into you in that way when you aren't.

I was alone in a common room at school and really needed to masturbate, so I thought I'd do it really quickly. I was having an orgasm (it was the best one I've ever had) and ejaculating when the head teacher walked in! I was so embarrassed. She shouted at me for getting semen on the carpet and "being obscene in a public place." She told my parents and I was grounded for three weeks, made to scrub the carpet and given the "masturbation is a private thing" talk. SO TAKE MY ADVICE: MASTURBATE ONLY IN YOUR BEDROOM OR A LOCKED BATHROOM. (age 13)

Wow.

One afternoon I was masturbating in the living room as my computer is there, without the door locked as no one was home. Suddenly, the front door opened and my brother and his friend were staring at me for a second and then closed the door immediately. I was so embarrassed as I was fully nude with a dildo. I felt so violated but my brother came and consoled me and said that it is normal. I was relieved but exposed so fully that I keep thinking of it when I masturbate and I cannot really concentrate! (age 18)

Try to relax and not think about that incident. Be glad you have a sympathetic brother.

I masturbated on chair close to the balcony in my apartment house. I was alone that day. However, I was caught by the next door man who was on his balcony which is right next to mine. After I finished doing it and still had my hand inside my vagina, I saw that he was looking at me. I was really embarrassed. (age 23)

Everyone should remember that an apartment or hotel balcony is not a private space.

My girlfriend and some of her friends caught me masturbating the other day. I was completely naked in the living room. I thought I would faint. I had the stereo on and didn't hear them come in. I turned around and saw them just as I was ejaculating. I couldn't stop!!! They just stood there with their hands to their mouths chuckling. My girlfriend showed them out and started laughing even more at me. She said don't worry but she couldn't quit laughing. (age 25)

That is an important lesson. Don't be so wrapped up that you would miss people coming in. Also, you discovered you were being watched at the point of ejaculatory inevitability, where you will ejaculate no matter what happens.

I was staying at a friend's house for a week while my mother was away on a business trip. I had a terrible crush on him since I was fourteen or so. Anyway, when I walked into his bedroom to ask him if he had any clean towels, I found him masturbating. We were both embarrassed, but later that night we had a long talk. I actually found out that he liked me back! We've been together now for three years, so I guess being caught isn't all that bad. Thanks for this site. (age 19)

Most stories here are from the person who was caught, but yours is from the catcher's point of view.

My mom just walked in on me masturbating today and I had a nudie mag in my inactive hands so I was scared to death but all she did was tell me to go to the bathroom to finish up because she didn't want me to mess up my sheets. Do you think she doesn't care about the dirty mag or the fact that I masturbate? (age 14)

Apparently not, but her direction to finish in the bathroom seems to reflect a hostility to the act. I don't think she should have told you that.

I thought I was alone in the house one night and was on the couch watching TV and masturbating. I had closed my eyes and was thinking about this girl I knew and after I came I opened my eyes and my sister was standing in the doorway staring at me. I freaked. She stood there and smiled at me then went down the hall to her room. Ever since then she grins at me a lot. Whats up with her? (age 17)

I think she's empathetic that you and she have something in common.

I was at my grandma's house mowing her yard and I had to use the bathroom so I went into the house. When I got done using the bathroom I started masturbating. All of a sudden the door opened. It was my grandma putting towels away and I just started to ejaculate. I couldn't stop. She said not to worry, because she wouldn't tell anyone. She handed me a towel to clean up while I still had an erection. (age 17)

Thank you for your vivid description of the point of ejaculatory inevitability.

I was on vacation with my family and they all went out on the boat while I stayed back to take a nap. After I woke up with an erection, I started masturbating vigorously, not knowing that it was time for the cleaning crew to come in. The door opened and there I was naked in a recliner and the cleaning lady said "don't stop just for me." I felt relieved that she wasn't mad or told on me. I think back about that day and masturbate to it a lot! It was out of state and haven't been back since, but I want to. (age 25)

She should have knocked.

I was visiting my friend a couple of weeks ago when everyone went to bed but me. I stayed up to watch TV and I started masturbating on the couch in the living room. His mom was watching for at least 5-10 minutes and I didn't make it obvious that I knew she was there and I kept at it because it really turned me on and she never stopped staring at me. Then I ejaculated all over myself and when I was done she went back to bed. In the morning she made all of us breakfast with a smile. Should I say anything to her about it or let it be? I think about that night all the time when I masturbate. (age 24)

I think it is better if only you know you knew she was watching.

I was camping with my sister and brother one night and having not masturbated in a week, I knew I was gonna do it. I did it while lying 4 inches away from my sister, 2 years older than me and supposedly sound asleep. I figured I'd be quiet and get it out of the way. When I came, it felt so good, I reflexively rolled to the right, and I accidentally shot my ejaculate on her, and my loud moans woke her up. I was so mortified, and she freaked out, and wiped it off with her hand and we ended up having a whole "masturbation conversation." It is still awkward looking her in the eye. (age 16)

You are lucky that she was willing to have a conversation with you. I think that means she understands. Try not to be so reckless next time.

I was masturbaing and my male friend walked in and asked to join me. I was so embarrassed, but he told me to finish up, and we talked and a year later we're engaged. (age 18)

That's a nice story, but I don't think I would advise women who want to get married to arrange to have a man catch them masturbating.

Once I was thinking about this girl I liked and got an erection. Soon I started masturbating and just as I was about to come, my twin brother walked in (the door lock needed repairs). I couldn't stop from coming. But my brother said it was OK, that he did it and it is normal anyway. I am so happy I have a very understanding brother. (age 16)

He must be the older one.

My mom caught me masturbating a while back. I was in my room and she walked in. She just looked at me and acted like she didn't know what I was doing. She's moved on. I still feel really bad about it. Any ideas? (female, age 14)

You should move on. Of course she knew what you were doing.

I was at a sleepover and one girl was talking about masturbating. They started to do it with the door locked and I didn't want to. When everyone went to sleep I decided to try it and when I did it someone woke up and caught me. She just came up to me and said she did it herself. I haven't talked to this person and I feel weird now. (age 12)

I think a lot of people who were there said and did things they might feel weird about. You shouldn't let it bother you. What happens at sleepovers stays at sleepovers.

A few days ago, my mom caught me in the act. I usually masturbate naked on my bed with the door closed, but the door was halfway open when I snatched my blanket and covered up. She didn't react or anything. She just had this blank expression and left. Typically, I wouldn't feel so ashamed of doing it, but that feeling of being caught makes it very disturbing to me, somewhat. Now, I feel guilty to masturbate. The eerie thing about it is that my mom is acting as normal as ever, and as if nothing had happened. Should I ask her, or try and wait for her to talk to me about it, because I really need to get this stress off of me. Or, should I try to avoid the subject? (female, age 15)

You aren't even sure she saw you masturbating. A little guilt is normal, but you ought not be stressed about what your mom might not have seen. If she did, she is cool about it. She won't say anything if she hasn't by now.

I was masturbating in my room. I'm very silent but suddenly yesterday my mom was standing outside the door. I don't know if she could see inside. I told her I was feeling pain and was checking if everything was all right. She said "oh" and walked by. I was nervous. Do you think she knew what I was really doing? (age 15)

Yes, I think she did. If she believed you were really checking for pain, she would have asked about it.

I was masturbating in my room when my maid came in, but I had already started to ejaculate. I couldn't stop. Do you think she doesn't care or that she will tell? (age 17)

You vividly describe the point of ejaculatory inevitability. You just can't stop at that point. I doubt she will tell. If she did, it would reflect poorly on her because she didn't knock or wait until you had a chance to tell her not to come in.

One time I was masturbating and I normally do that when every one is asleep. My little brother walked in on me from a nightmare (my door has a messed up lock) and he went and told my dad. I was so upset because I got the 'it's OK to masturbate' speech. (female, age 13)

Your dad was probably just worried about you. At least now that it's out in the open, you don't have to worry about it anymore.

Once I got caught masturbating, and the person who caught me was my brother's fiancee. She and I don't get along very well. I was in her living room spending the night on the couch. I thought everyone was sleeping, and I was silently moaning, and she said "what are you doing" and I said nothing, and then she said "keep quiet." Do you think I was being that loud (quietly moaning)? (age 24)

At that time of night, it's easy to hear any noise at all. You will be sisters-in-law soon, and there is already trouble between you. She is probably trying to assert dominance over you. Remember, it was at her house. Be especially quiet when you might disturb others on their own turf.

Just a few hours ago, my sister walked in on me. I was looking at some porn on my computer in my room. I was sitting there with my penis hanging out and everything. (It was about 11:30 PM) She walked in and I scooted the chair as far as it will go trying to hide, and she asked me for toilet paper. I replied quickly, "no and next time knock please," and she just closed the door. My heart was racing. It was really embarrassing and I hope she didn't see me. (age 15)

She was probably preoccupied with her toilet paper emergency. I think you got off lucky.

One time I was masturbating in my room. I had no idea my dad was upstairs as well. I was about to reach an orgasm, and my dad walked in. He said, "Oh, sorry," and left. I was so embarrassed. I didn't know what to do. Later on, my mom talked to me about it, and assured me it is OK to masturbate. I was happy I got her approval, but was so humiliated!! (female, age 13)

Well, you know more about what your parents think than someone who was never caught.

My little brother (who is 2 years younger than me) walked in on me masturbating the other day. Needless to say, we were both very embarrassed at first, but we kind of laughed it off and agreed to forget about the whole thing. Of course, that's easier said than done; I find myself trying to avoid him. I'm tense and uncomfortable around him and I don't think we've had a proper conversation since it happened. Do you think I should talk to him about what happened? My brother and I are very close. We have a healthy, open relationship and I think we could both handle discussing it, but is it really necessary? What do you think? (female, age 16)

You already agreed to forget about the whole thing. That was a good idea. Now do it.

I have a problem about privacy and I don't know what to do. I share a room with my sister who's 13. I started masturbating 3 years ago and I always waited until she was asleep to do it. But now she's started masturbating too. I know this because even though she tries to be quiet, I hear her at night. I don't want to embarrass her so I pretend to be asleep. But hearing her masturbate makes me incredibly turned on, but I can't touch myself until she's finished. Some nights she's quick but other nights she takes forever and it's agony waiting. Then when she finally goes to sleep, I'm so excited, I have to masturbate for an hour or even longer before I can get to sleep. Some mornings I'm so tired. I wish I could do it like I used to and get a good night's sleep but if my sister heard me masturbate when she was doing it, I don't know what she'd think. I also feel terrible about listening to her but the room is just too small. What can I do? (female, age 15)

I have a feeling she's heard you masturbating too. Your situation is a lot like the people in college dorms that I have written about. I think that unless you can come up with separate bedrooms, the only solution is for you to discuss it. Since you are the older of the two, it is incumbent upon you to initiate the discussion. I don't think confronting her about what you have heard will be helpful. You might just tell her that since she's 13 now, she's old enough to know about something called masturbation. Then tell her what it is -- don't ask her if she knows -- and ask if she'd mind if you did it at night. Remember, she already knows you do it at night, so there's really no harm in asking this, and you gain the benefit that you can masturbate without fear of her catching you. She is also in great fear of being caught by you, so she would be greatly relieved to have it out in the open.

When I was about 5, I would masturbate with a vibrating pen, the kind that wrote in many different colors. My mom caught me once and gave me a lecture on how I shouldn't do that. Now I'm a teenager, and I masturbate very often. If I were caught by my mom, do you think she would freak out? Do you think now since I'm older it wouldn't be such a big deal?

Yes, I think your mom will understand, considering how precocious you were back then.

I was in my room masturbating and I was having an awesome orgasm and my mom walked in! She was very cool about it. She told me that it was normal behavior and that many people do it. She offered to buy me a vibrator and I accepted. The only difference now is that she makes sure that she knocks before entering my room. (female, age 15)

So you both learned something, and you got a vibrator. That's a pretty good deal. I think a lot of the girls who read this site are jealous of you and your mom.

I used to masturbate a lot when I first started doing it at age 11. I did it in my bed most of the time but I shared my room with my older stepsister. She was about 14. I would wait for her to be sleeping. One time I thought she was sleeping and I was doing it with my undies off under the blanket. It felt real different that time, and I forgot anyone was there. I was just finished and pulling my undies up as quietly as I could when I heard her say, "Feels awesome, huh?" I looked over and she was right there sitting up on her bed looking. I threw the blanket over my head; I was freaking out. She laughed and said she did it too. I stayed under that blanket till the morning. She was cool about it and she never told my mom. (female, age 13)

Well, I gather that you never told her mom about it either, and that makes you cool too.

My older sister caught me masturbating when I was 9. I was scared she'd tell mom, but she didn't. A few days later, I said thanks for not telling on me and she said that she sometimes does it too. A long time went by and then I caught her doing it in our room. She said that if I wanted to do it that it was OK. Most of the time we did stuff when it was private, but we did it at the same time sometimes too. I guess since we caught each other it just put everything even between us. We laugh about that sometimes. My sister is awesome. She's 16 now. (female, age 13)

You and your sister handled it well.

This is just some advice. I usually masturbate after I get out of the shower or decide to change so that I can say that I locked my door so I could undress. (female, age 12)

I think that's pretty good advice.

I have been masturbating since I was 11. My parents think it is wrong. I still masturbate daily and I am so terrified of getting caught that I dont enjoy it as much. What should I do? (female, age 16)

They didn't do anything to you when they caught you before, so why would they do anything now? You are going to have to determine your private morality separate from your parents. Most people don't think it's wrong to masturbate. Try not to think about your parents, and try to enjoy yourself.

I was masturbating the other day and my boyfriend walked in. He has never seen me doing this before and he talks about it all the time now. Is it normal for him to get so excited about this? (age 16)

Yes, very.

I love your site. Before I came here I thought I was the only one to masturbate! Anyway, the other day my mom caught me and gave me the talk and said it's perfectly natural. I still feel weird around her though. (female, age 13)

Be glad your mom approves. Look at all the messages I get from people who are afraid their parents will not understand.

My older sister caught me my first time masturbating when I was 11. I did not even know what it was. I had just read about it in a women's magazine. Later that day, I told Mom and Dad what I had done. They handled everything perfectly and did not discourage me. I still feel bad about it. My older sister and my dad always look at everything I look at online, as if it were pornography or something. (female, age 15)

It's always embarrassed to be discovered, but 55 percent of males are at some point. I suspect fewer females are. Everyone was OK with it. You do not need to worry about it now. They might even have forgotten.

My mom caught me masturbating with one of her sex toys. Now she won't even look at me. What do I do? (female, age 13)

I doubt she'll be mad for long. She's probably shocked to learn you're growing up. Just try to forget the whole thing.

I was masturbating one night in bed when my mom and dad walked in on me. I couldn't cover it up because I was rolling around on my bed and knocked the sheets off. My mom was fine with it and offered to buy me a vibrator, but I don't think my dad was OK because every time I have tried to talk to him, he acted as if he didn't hear me. What should I do? (age 15)

I think you should stop trying to talk to him about it. He was obviously shocked to see you masturbating. Your mother seems to have taken charge of the situation. He probably thinks that's best.

Today I was in my bedroom, and I was moaning while I was rubbing my clitoris, and my mom walked in. She came over and said "doesn't it feel good?" I couldn't stop and I had an orgasm. I feel funny about the whole thing. (age 14)

Your mom probably meant well, but in that situtation, saying anything at all makes the moment even more embarrassing. She probably wanted you to know that she approved rather than disapproved of your masturbating, but I think it would have been better if she had just gotten out without saying anything.

I was masturbating last night with my fingers and my mom walked in and I was completely naked. I am sooo embarrassed. Should I talk to her?

I don't think you have to. She was probably embarrassed too.

I was babysitting last weekend and the 9-year old girl walked in on me masturbating. I know it was dumb, but I thought she was fast asleep. I'm terrified she'll say something to her parents. What if they think I'm some pervert who can't be trusted around children? Should I tell them myself? It's so embarrassing I don't know how to bring the topic up. (female, age 17)

I don't think there's any reason to do that. If the girl says anything, the parents would probably simply not hire you again. I doubt they would confront you. Most likely the girl didn't know what you were doing and won't say anything. It would be a good idea to keep your hands out of your pants while babysitting.

I really don't have privacy. If my mom sees a closed door, she'll just bust on in, or if the door is locked, she'll knock continuously until I open. I'm sort of scared that one day I will make a mistake and leave the door unlocked, and she will walk in while I'm masturbating. How can I tell her in a nice way that I want her to respect my privacy without her knowing what I'm doing? (female, age 13)

You could tell her what you just told me. You might mention that a girl your age needs privacy, and she might not relate it to masturbation specifically. Fear of getting caught leads a lot of people to be especially careful about keeping doors locked.

This story isn't as embarrassing as it is funny. I was masturbating in my room that I share with my sister. She was in the living room. When I reach orgasm, I moan loudly and I sometimes gasp. The walls of our house are paper thin so my sister heard. She walked in and I was sitting on my bed breathing heavily and she gave me a funny look. She said "I'm so sorry. I heard something and thought you were choking." I replied, "No, I was having an orgasm." We talk about everything so neither of us had a problem with it and we just laughed. (female, age 14)

That's a good story. This next one is more embarrassing than funny.

Today I was masturbating at my computer. My brother walked in, and I was so mortified, I slammed down my monitor and turned off my speakers, but you could still hear it. My brother snickered at me and later told my mom, "You know what she could be doing all day?" I don't think my mom approves of me doing it so I'm sort of scared. (female, age 13)

It is unlikely your mom disapproves. Your brother is unlikely to be in a position to judge; if he doesn't masturbate frequently already, he will soon. Your embarrassment will fade.

Earlier today I was masturbating and my mom saw me. I looked up and didn't know what to say. My mom just went back to what she was doing. She didn't say anything. I was so embarrassed and just walked out of the room. A couple minutes later she just kinda acted like everything was OK. My mom still seems a little distant and mad at me. I'm afraid that she will tell other people like my dad or someone. What should I do? (female, age 14)

You don't need to anything. I imagine everything is OK. Your mom has no reason to be mad at you or tell anyone.

I am grounded for a month because my mom caught my masturbating while on webcam with my male friend who was doing the same. My mom hasn't looked at me since and I am not allowed on the net for a month! (female, age 13)

She's probably just trying to protect you from being exploited online and probably isn't judgmental about your masturbating in private.

I was caught masturbating. I was masturbating with my boyfriend over the Internet and my mom walked in. She promptly closed the door and told me to shut down my computer. She said that what I was doing was pornography. I told her that I didn't think I was doing anything wrong, but she acted as though she was ashamed of me. I'm scared they won't let me go on a trip with them to see my boyfriend. I just don't know what else to say to them. (age 17)

I don't think your mom is upset because you were masturbating, but because of what you were doing on the Internet. Doing something like that was pretty unheard of in their generation. They are probably concerned because you are involved with an Internet boyfriend you've never met, and this incident only makes them think it's worse. Perhaps it would help if they were reminded that you are not sexually active but plenty of girls your age with in-person boyfriends are. They might be concerned that you will try to make up for lost time sexually with this net guy when you finally meet. It might be a good idea for you to work at real relationships with local guys.

I was masturbating and my boyfriend saw me. He asked me if I wanted to have sex wth him. What should I do? (age 15)

I think sex would be a bad idea at your age.

Once while I was masturbating I left the door unlocked and my cat came in so my door opened. I waited until I was done to close my door but I didn't hear the front door open so my mom came in and she saw me masturbating. It was so embarrassing. What should I do? (female, age 16)

I'm sure she understands. I don't think you need to do anything.

I was masturbating while looking at porn sites last night, with the laptop in my bed. I slept without closing the window, and when my dad came in early in the morning to collect the trash, the site was still on the screen and he might have seen. I'm scared that he might tell my mom. (age 16)

Don't worry about it. He might not have noticed and it is less likely still that he will tell anyone or say anything to you. If he does, you can deal with it then.

My dad heard me masturbating (I got a bit too loud) and told me to come downstairs after I was done. He explained that if I'm at the point where I'm going to have sex, I need protection, etc. I pretty much explained that wasn't the case, but I was mortified. (female,l age 15)

You shouldn't be. Your dad obviously cares about you a lot, and he is cool with you masturbating.

I was in the bathroom touching myself while drying off, as I was rubbing, the door opened and my mom came in. She acted as though I wasn't doing anything. I stopped and finished drying myself. How do I tell her not to come in when I am in there? (female, age 13)

I suspect she will be more careful from now on. There's nothing wrong with reminding her to knock.

I'm 16 and none of my friends masturbate. I got caught by my brother yesterday while I was on top of my bed rubbing my clitoris. He left quickly and now every time I see him he grins at me.

That means he understands. I suspect many of your friends masturbate, but it is also typical to not talk about it.

I work in a hospital on night shift and my colleague discovered me masturbating and I'm really ashamed about it and plan to quit my job. What should I do? (female, age 35)

I tell everyone who asks that it is very dangerous to masturbate anyplace other your own private space. Be glad it was a colleague and not a superior. If no one says anything about it, you shouldn't worry. If you get called to answer for it, they might not even take any action about it, so you would be overreacting by quitting.

I have never been caught but I have had a few close calls. It seems that I have a lot of luck. I'm sure that if I have to cover up quickly the person can tell something was happening. It's just good that no one has caught me "full frontal." I'm pretty sure that I would be too embarrassed to talk about it. (male, age 13)

I suggest you work on having fewer close calls.

One time I was masturbating in my room and was close to orgasm and my mom walked in. She just said "sorry" and walked out again. The next day she put a lock on my room and provided me with lube. I couldn't believe it! I love her for it. (age 15)

That's a happy story!

While at a sleepover, I got really hot and I needed to masturbate. After everyone was asleep, I decided to masturbate. Another girl woke up and caught me. She didn't say anything and just went back to sleep. (age 12)

She was probably envious that you could do that with everyone there.

I've been masturbating ever since I was young. Although I've never been caught in the act. But today when I came home, no one was in the house, and so naturally I did my thing. Apparently while I was masturbating, I didn't hear my brother-in-law come through the front door. I think he heard me moaning so he came upstairs and asked if anyone was home. I was too freaked out to respond. I think I mumbled something and he knew it was me, so he went downstairs. Good thing he didn't walk in on me or else it would have been extremely awkward. But I just can't bring myself to go downstairs because I really don't know what to do. I'm just scared of his response, that is, if he does say anything to me. I feel so embarrassed. (female, age 19)

He will probably say nothing. He might not have even figured out what you were doing. In any case, he probably masturbates more than you do.

I was the other day masturbating in the middle of the day, when my father called out to me. I was about to ejaculate and somehow I decided to answer him, and while trying to say yes, my voice spontaneously sounded like moaning. (age 19)

Actually, that's happened to me too, but it was on the phone, so I was able to make an excuse.

My mom caught me masturbating just as I was ejaculating. She just left and said nothing, but the next day she provided me with lube and put a lock on my door! Is this normal? (age 15)

No, but I don't think it's something you should complain about.

I was at my girlfriend's house, waiting for her to get back from school. I thought that I had about 30 minutes to myself before she came home, so I started to masturbate to her panties. About 15 minutes into my masturbation session, she walked in on me ejaculating on her panties. She was very upset and weirded out by me masturbating. She said that it was particularly weird because I knew that we could have intercourse any time. This put a serious strain on our relationship. What can I do to make her see that there was nothing wrong with it and that she shouldn't be reacting the way she is? (age 18)

I don't agree that there was nothing wrong with it. You weren't respecting her privacy by your unorthodox use of her panties. I suggest apologizing for that but being firm about masturbating being normal even for someone with a regular sex partner. If she still doesn't agree, why not show her HealthyStrokes.com?

I was caught when I was 13. My brother's friend barged into my room without knocking and I was on top of my covers completely naked. He was 10 at the time and just giggled and left. The other day he approached me and jokingly asked me to buy him porn (because I just turned 18), so he's cool with it, but for a while I was scared that he'd tell someone. I did end up getting him a magazine for his 15th birthday.

Boys' Life? The New Yorker? Martha Stewart Living?

When I was 17, I dated a girl 3 years older than me who had a younger sister in my high school class. I liked to ask my girlfriend to masturbate while I watched her, and she would always do it for me. She would often ask me to do it for her, but I was too embarrassed. She said I was too uptight. Finally when I came to her house one day and wanted to go to her bedroom to mess around, she said she wouldn't do anything until I masturbated while she watched, so I caved in. She insisted I lie on the bed totally naked and masturbate to orgasm while she stood there, fully clothed, watching. It was hard to get over my initial awkwardness, but once I got going, I was able to get very excited and climax loudly. Afterward, she giggled at me. I asked her what was funny. With an evil grin on her face, she took a couple of steps to the folding closet doors and opened them to reveal her sister who had been hiding there watching the whole thing! The sister, who was my classmate in school, walked out, smiling, then handed me some tissue to tease me. It was at first the single most embarrassing moment of my life, but later on the thought of it really turned me on. So after a week of getting teased by my girlfriend and her sister whenever I was over, I went out on limb and responded to one of the sisters' teases with "So what. Why should I be embarrassed? It's completely natural and I've got nothing to be ashamed of." She took the bait and dared me to strip and masturbate in front of them both again, this time with them both watching out in the open. What followed is a masturbation session that I still fantasize about. There is nothing quite as exciting about getting naked in front of two girls and having them ask you to finish yourself off while they watch. As I was doing it, my girlfriend even made me maintain eye contact with both of them the whole time, which made me feel all the more exposed. (age 32)

That's quite a story. I would have been ready to dump the girlfriend for that betrayal of you.

My dad just walked in on me while I was masturbating. I was watching porn on my computer and my dad knocked quickly and then came in before I could say anything. I had tucked myself away, but my fly was still open, so I tried to scoot my chair under my desk farther to hide it. He said, "What are you hiding?" I was freaking out so I was like, "Umm, nothing, what do you want?" He just said, "I'm... Ummm, going to go... out for a little bit...." I'm still very embarrassed, but I'm more worried about them finding out I was looking at porn! I'm very very worried. What should I do? (age 15)

I don't think your dad is going to say anything, and you don't need to either.

Once it was late at night and I was masturbating with my door cracked in front of my computer. I didn't have my pants completely off but was looking at porn when my mom came in. I got the whole deer in the headlights thing, but for some reason she didn't seem to notice. I guess she just thought I was using my computer for something else. After she left I closed and locked my door. Close call, huh? I defiantely learned my lesson and always lock my door (and make up bad excuses) when I'm masturbating. (age 15)

OK, but I suspect she in fact knew what you were doing. She probably didn't want to say anything about it. Be thankful for the lock.

I was sitting on the couch this morning naked thinking that I was home alone. So I started masturbating and my 20 year old sister walked in from the garage and I didn't hear come in. She freaked out and said I could have done it in my room. So I stood up and had to walk next to her to get to my room. Should I worry about the conversation? (age 25)

I think that was the conversation.

My mother had just left for work and I decided to strip completely naked and masturbate in the living room with a vibrator a friend gave me. However, my mom had forgotten her purse and barged in the front door and caught me. She didn't say anything then, but later that evening I got the sex talk. (female, age 16)

I hear stuff like that a lot.

I was about 12 and I had just learned to masturbate, and I didn't know to lock the door. My brother walked in and he was shocked, as was I, but he said that it's completely normal and he does it too. I later caught him doing it too, so I don't feel embarrassed anymore, and I lock the door. (male, age 14)

I hear stuff like that a lot too.

Earlier today my 11 year old sister walked in on me and stood in the doorway. It was obvious she saw everything. She said, "sorry, I've come to get a bag." She got a bag out the closet and walked out, without looking at me. What should I do? (male, age 16)

She obviously knows about sex and probably has an idea what masturbation is. The experience may have traumatized her, and I suggest you tell your parents what happened before she does. It would be better if you didn't say anything about the episode unless she brings it up first.

When I was 17, I was home alone and waiting for my boyfriend to get back from work. I started to masturbate with a dildo, and apparently he got off work early, so he came over to surprise me. He walked into my room (without knocking) and saw me. This led to him performing oral sex on me and both of us losing our virginity. It was the most fantastic day of my life! (age 20)

I think a lot of people will like you for sharing that with this site.

When I was 15, my friend, who was also female and 15, invited me to spend a weekend with her and her family at a beach house on Cape Cod. The beach house had only one bedroom, which her parents used. That left me, my friend, and her 16 year old brother to sleep in the living room.

*** (long story deleted)

Sadly, they moved to the west coast soon after that vacation. Thanks for listening. (age 25)

Wow, that was quite a story, but it doesn't really belong on this web site. I enjoyed reading it, though, especially since I live a lot closer to Cape Cod than to the west coast. On my last trip to the Cape, I pointed out to my companion that "cod" was a euphemism for penis in the 19th century. She didn't seem to appreciate the comment, so I refrained from pointing out that the Cape is kind of, sort of shaped like one too. Feel free to e-mail me if you have any more stories.

My dad always says stuff joking around like, "I know you were choking the chicken," and I have always denied it because I had never done it. Well I finally got into the habit of doing it and soon he walked in on me, and as soon as I saw the door opening, I ran into the bathroom. He said something but I was too terrified. I don't know what to do. (age 15)

His joking around about it suggests that he is as uncomfortable about it as you are. He is probably as embarrassed as you about being discovered. There is no reason for you to say anything. Just be normal.

Yesterday I was at home masturbating completelly naked, and my mother entered my room and saw me. What should I do? (female, age 13)

She was probably as embarrassed as you are. She might be happy that you're maturing sexually. I don't think you need to say anything about it.

I've been masturbating since I was 12, but now I want to tell my parents about my habit because I feel someday I will get caught. Should I do this? (age 14)

No. Even if you get caught, I would still advise saying nothing. There is really nothing to say.

I've been masturbating since I was in the 6th grade but I didn't get caught until my freshman year in high school. I was about to jump in the shower, but I was really horny so I decided to masturbate quickly, and when I was in the middle of it, my dad unlocked the door from the outside and barged in, but when he saw me, he shut the door and never said anything about it. (age 16)

He was probably more embarrassed than you were.

My little sister (who is 12) caught me masturbating about four years ago and is always joking about how she is going to make up a story about how I "masturbate all the time." And she says she is going to tell my girlfriend. I doubt she will, but I'm really scared about it, because she might actually tell her and I'm worried what my girlfriend might think of me. (age 15)

I often tell girlfriends that every male with a girlfriend masturbates regularly. She ought to understand. Your sister is a little old to be a tattletale, and I think she knows she would look worse for telling than you would for masturbating. You can take away your sister's power by pulling the pin on that grenade yourself (i.e., tell your girlfriend before your sister can).

Two days ago I was masturbating in my room and my sister (who is 16) walked in. She told me that she does it every day; she gave me a dildo yesterday. Should I use it? (age 14)

I advise against dildoes at your age, and if you're having orgasms now, why bother with them? I think my readers would agree that you have a cool sister.

I was feeling really horny at camp, so while most of the people in my cabin were in the pool, I decided to masturbate in the cabin; I couldn't resist. One of the girls in my cabin got out early and walked in shocked at seeing me masturbating. I have tried to laugh it off with her because she is a good friend, but she still seems a little awkward around me. Will her awkwardness ever end? (age 14)

I think it will. Just try to be normal around her and don't think about that day.

My story is not about being caught but about catching someone. I was visiting my cousins recently, and late one night, I walked into my 14 year old cousin's room. I knocked and called his name before I entered, but I suppose he didn't hear me, and I discovered him masturbating. It was pretty obvious that he was mortified. I apologized and quickly left. I planned lo just leave it at that, but about 20 minutes later, he came into the room I was staying in, still looking horrified. The first thing I said was, "Don't worry about it. Everyone does it," and I gave him my sweetest, most understanding smile. We had a pretty good talk about it. I wanted to make absolutely sure he didn't feel ashamed or uncomfortable. Since he was pretty new to the whole thing and had questions that I couldn't really answer, I referred him to HealthyStrokes.com. Ever since then, he's really opened up to me about other things, and our whole relationship has been a lot better. (age 21)

What a great story! You are an excellent cousin. Wouldn't it be great if young people were only discovered masturbating by readers of this site?

One time when my mom went out for something, I decided to have a choke in the bathroom. She had to come back in for something, and she was very quiet, so I didn't hear her. I was doing it loudly with lots of lube, so I was making a loud, rapid squealing sound. She said through the door, "I just forgot something." The moment she started talking, I froze like a deer in the headlights. She just walked off, and I was too mortified to resume. Do you think she knew what I was doing in there? (age 15)

There's a very good chance, but I think she understands.

I haven't been caught masturbating, although I have been caught quickly taking my hand out of my underpants a few times by my mom when I was masturbating. Now she knocks before she enters. Do you think she knows I masturbate? (female, age 13)

Yes, she does, and what you describe constitutes being caught masturbating.

I got home from work one night and went to bed. I couldn't get to sleep so I decided to masturbate like usual. It took me about 5 minutes and I was just orgasming when my father-in-law opened the door. I was so embarrassed. I ejaculated a lot of fluid. I was so relieved when he only said, "wow ... that was a good one" and then shut the door. (age 29)

Another illustration of the point of ejaculatory inevitability. Once you get there, you can't stop.

I got caught masturbating by my mom twice in my teen years. The first time I was in bed and had just started when she walked in. I had my underwear down so I just rolled over to hide my erection. The second time she came in, I had just started to have an orgasm. That one was embarrassing. Each time, she said nothing just turned and walked away, so I guess that's good. (age 35)

Very good.

I was caught masturbating by my big brother, who was 21. He giggled when he closed the door and left. He grins at me when I walk by and constantly makes jokes about it. (age 11)

You can't have masturbated too many times. If your brother is like the typical male who answers my surveys, he has masturbated over 3000 times. Maybe the joke should be on him.

One day while I was masturbating on the sofa completely naked, my aunt opened the door and came in. She saw me and stood there in shock. What should I do? (age 16)

I don't think you need to do anything.

I am a straight man but work in construction and have to travel with male coworkers. Once at a motel, my coworker went to take a shower I decided to jack off. Right at the moment of ejaculation with my underwear pulled down he walks out! I didn't hear him! I was embarrassed, but he just said now he wouldn't have to worry getting caught. The next time I was lying on my back naked again in a motel room, jacking like crazy when the maid opened the door. Guess I didn't hear her knock. She just apologized and closed the door, but she did so while staring at my crotch which I was trying to cover with my hand. (age 50)

Good stories. I think maids see a lot.

One time I was masturbating in my room with my stereo turned on, and my dad's friends camed in my room just to say hello. I was so embarrassed. Imagine, four of my dad friends and dad caught me. After a few days, they gave me some Playboy magazines.

They were able to empathize with you.

I was quietly jerking off in my room. Just as I was approaching orgasm, I heard my 6-year old cousin say "Boo!" and put her head around the door. I was so freaked out that I stopped instantly. I told her to go and after asking why (I didn't tell her why) she did. I managed to convince her I was just undressing, but now I'm worried about what to say if I'm ever in a situation like this again. (age 15)

She didn't know anything, but your situation reminded me of an old joke. A little boy walked in on his parents having sex and said "what are you doing?" His dad said, "I'm playing bridge and mommy is my partner." Then he walked in on his aunt and uncle and said "what are you doing?" His aunt said, "We're playing bridge and Uncle Ned is my partner." Then he walked in on his sister and her boyfriend in the basement and said "what are you doing?" She said, "I'm playing bridge and Danny is my partner." Then he walked in on his brother masturbating and said "what are you doing?" He said, "I'm playing bridge." The little brother asked, "who's your partner?" The older brother replied, "with a hand like this, who needs a partner?"

I have been masturbating since I was about 12. Lately, I have been trying new things instead of just the normal routine, so last week I got a cucumber from the kitchen and began masturbating with it in my bedroom. My mother came in as I was doing it. She didn't say anything to me, just walked out, but she hasn't spoken much to me since. I wonder what would be the best way to bring this up with her without being too awkward about it. (age 15)

As the senior one, it is probably her call to say something. She is probably confused about how fast you are growing up. It might be better to let her get used to the idea. Saying something might make it worse.

My mom has caught me masturbating twice within one year. I would like to tell her that I don't want to hide it from her anymore since I do it a lot when she is home. She is bound to catch me more. I don't want things to be weird if she sees me naked and masturbating again. I think it is a pretty normal thing to do. How should I tell her this? (age 18)

You should act like a grown man and not a little boy at your age. You should not be occupied with what your mother thinks about your masturbating. You should want to hide it from her. Things will be weird if she catches you again. Masturbation is normal, but getting caught by your mother at your age is not. Instead of telling her anything, you ought to be making more of an effort to not be discovered.

I was sitting at home one day and decided to start masturbating with a dildo. I started to get close to climax then my boyfriend walked in to see me masturbating. He said it's OK and that he masturbates too. Even though we are still dating, I always feel awkward. I don't know what to do. (age 16)

Don't worry about it. For him, it is something happily remembered. He might never have told you he masturbates if he hadn't caught you, so you got something out of it too.

I was masturbating to porn on my computer and my mom came in. I switched to my other tab and it was a picture of George Clooney in Ocean's Eleven. I tried to disguise what I was doing but I was nervous and it might have been obvious. I hope she doesn't think I'm gay now. (age 17)

At least it wasn't a picture of Macaulay Culkin or that kid from "Jerry Maguire." I doubt she thinks your gay even if she factored in the Clooney picture. Now go search for some pics of his aunt Rosemary when she was young.

I got caught because one of my friends told my litle sister about it and we share the room. I thought she was sleeping and I masturbated and then she sat up and asked me if I was doing what my friend had told her. I begged her not to tell mom and she didn't, but now I'm so totally mad at my friend that we don't talk to each other anymore. (age 13)

You ought to forgive your friend. It looks like it brought you and your sister closer.

Last summer, I was at my cousin's house. They have a swimming pool, and a changing room on the side of the house. After taking a swim, I went to change, used the bathroom, and for some reason got an erection and felt very aroused, so I started to mastubate. I was facing the opposite direction from the door, but all of a sudden, one of my uncle's friends burst in, quickly apologized, and shut the door. I was extremely nervous because I have always been terrified of being caught. When I walked out, some of the people outside that were by each other were talking (including my dad, uncle, his friend, and my other uncle.) They sort of looked at me strangely, but considering that he might have not known what I was doing, I just walked on by without looking embarrassed. To this day no one has ever confronted me about it, but I always wonder if that man saw me and told my dad or someone else. (age 16)

There are a lot better things to wonder about. What difference would it have made if he had seen you? All of those men have probably masturbated a lot more than you have.

I have never been caught but I get a rush from masturbating where I'm not supposed to. (age 15)

That is dangerous behavior. If you were discovered by the wrong people, you could be in big trouble.

One day my girlfriend (with whom I am not sexually active) invited me over to her house after school. I got there early and knocked on the door and no one answered, but it was open. I go to her house all the time, so I walked in. To my surprise, I found her masturbating on her couch completely nude. She asked me if I wanted to masturbate too. So now we masturbate together regularly. (age 16)

A lot of readers would say that's a happy ending, but technically you broke in to her house. You're a masturburglar!

On my 12th birthday I was masturbating. My parents came in right when I ejaculated, and they just closed their eyes and left. Later I heard them giggling. This was two weeks ago and I am worried they won't be able to look at me the same.

They were probably not giggling about you. They are probably very happy for you. Just act the same as usual around them. Isn't that what they're doing around you?

I haven't been caught, but I caught my brother who's 20. He was in the living room on the computer looking at pictures. I accidentally walked in on him with his pants down to his ankles. It was awkward but, like me, I know he does it all he time. I've never said anything though. (female, age 16)

So you have the upper hand? Good for you. I think you handled it right.

I'm in college and I've had the same boyfriend since I was about 15. One day he invited me over to his dorm which is a single, and when I got there, to my surprise, he was masturbating on his couch. He said "Wanna join?" I was really hesitant but he convinced me. Now we do this all the time since it's more intimate than kissing but not as huge a step as sexual intercourse. By the way, he later explained to me that he hadn't planned to be walked in on, he just forgot and he said the first thing that came to mind. (age 19)

And you believed him? I find it hard to believe that "wanna join" would be his first thought if he hadn't planned on being caught. Glad it worked out.

Does being seen by my dog count as being caught? Do animals know? My dog looks at me funny. It's weird. (age 18)

No. No. It's all in your head.

I am a girl from Europe. When I was 15, I was at a sleepover and in the adjoining room, the parents of my girlfriend had sex. There was much panting, moaning and other bed noises. I got very horny and didn�t know what to do. Finally I decided to join in some way. It was a hot summer night. So I started to rub my clitoris stark naked. When the couple had finished their lovemaking, I started to have my orgasm. But to my horror, the mom on the way to the bathroom opened the door and looked cautiously at me, as if I was sleeping well. It was too late for me to hide! It ruined my orgasm, and I was sleepless and gravely embarrassed. We both blushed several times at breakfast. (age 18)

You each caught the other.

I was about 14, and I had been masturbating, and I ejaculated all over the couch. While I was cleaning it up, I heard my mom approaching. I quickly threw out the tissue. She reached over to get something from her filing cabnet and her hand brushed the couch. I had missed a spot. She pulled her hand up and there was white stuff ALL over her hand. She asked me what it was and I said mucus from my nose. She just told me to clean it up and left. We never discussed it again. Do you think she figured it out? (age 16)

Yes, I do. She must have recognized the scent of fresh semen.

My aunt walked in on me masturbating late at night. It was 2 in the morning and she just giggled and said she was making sure I was still awake. I feel so embarrassed. What do I do? (age 15)

Don't do anything. She is more embarrassed than you.

I was 15 when my older sister walked into my bedroom while I was ejaculating. We made eye contact but it was too late to stop so I continued.and she left the room and we never talked about it. But I'm 35 now and it turns me on thinking about that day. Is this wrong? Do others do this?

Getting caught and the fear of getting caught can be exciting. I don't think it's wrong to fantasize about it.

My sister's friends caught me masturbating. We went over to their house so we could swim. While the girls were changing into their bathing suits, I stayed and waited. Suddenly I got an erection and a strong urge to masturbate. I took off my shorts and masturbated naked. When I was done, I sat in the living room. Then the girls came out of the bathroom and gasped! My penis was wet at the top from ejaculation. I quickly grabbed my towel and I was just in panic! I couldn't remember where I left my swimming trunks. We talked about it last week and had a good laugh. I am so relieved. (age 14)

I doubt they noticed the semen on your penis. They were probably just shocked to see a penis at all. Once again you point out the dangers of masturbating where there is insufficient privacy.

This is just some advice. I usually masturbate after I get out of the shower or decide to change so that I can say that I locked my door so I could undress. (female, age 12)

I think that's pretty good advice.

I was masturbating in a room that had a sliding glass door and after I finished I was shocked to find that my girl cousin was watching me. We haven't said anything to each other about the incident. Do you think I should tell her to not tell anybody? (age 16)

I think if she were going to say anything, she would have by now. Don't worry about it, and I don't think you need to discuss it with her.

Years ago, I was on the couch masturbating and the radio was blasting. I had also turned on the air conditoner. So there I was moaning and groaning when my dad walked in! The only thing I could do was wipe my belly and cry. But it all ended well. Dad laughed so hard. It was humiliating but funny. That will never happen again. (age 30)

Lately I've been feeling pretty down because I started masturbation so late. I've always been late when it comes to all things sexual. I know people who have started years before me. Your site says that half of males masturabate before their 13th birthday, and that was really suprising, since I only found out about it a couple months ago. I'm starting to feel the same way about sex, since I've never been in a relationship, and everyone keeps talking about it and now my parents are even asking me about masturbation and relationships. Whenever I tell them I'm not in a relationship, they look at me like I'm crazy. I'm honestly not rushing to have sex, but I don't want to remain a virgin forever. (It seems like people treat you like a freak if you don't have sex beyond a certain age). What's the average age most people have sex? (age 16)

I think you're doing OK for 16. I didn't start masturbating until I was almost 16. My guess would be less than half of the people your age have had sex. Don't worry about what you have or haven't done until now (or until recently) and try to go out with some girls before you're finished with school.

Thank you so much for this great web site. I got caught masturbating (prone) once by my sister. She just said "ewwww" and went to her room. I am now trying to stop doing it face down. My mom is a really devout Christian. My sister got in very big trouble for masturbating when she was five or six. What should I do if she ever asks me about it or catches me?

You might do very well to avoid answering or at least not to lie. I doubt she'll ask. If you feel like speaking up, you might tell her that all Christian men masturbate as do a considerable number of Christian women.

One day I was masturbating, and I forgot to lock the door. My sister came in and saw me. I was embarrassed and wanted to kill myself. I didn't have the courage to go out of my room right away, but when I did she was acting normal. (age 14)

Once again, it shows that the best strategy in that situation is not to say anything. She was probably embarrassed too.

I'm staying at my friend's house while my parents are out of town. I hadn't whacked off in a day or two, so I decided to masturbate in his bathroom. I was close to orgasm, and he walked in. He didn't say anything. He just got something and walked out. It wouldn't have been so bad, but I have a really small penis (3 and a quarter inches). I'm really embarrassed. I don't want him to tell anybody about my being small, so how do I talk to him? (age 16)

Maybe to him you are big? I doubt he would say anything. I don't think you need to say anything about it. He handled it well.

I come from a very religious family, and I'm afraid I might get caught masturbating, and if I do get caught I don't know what I'll do!! (age 14)

It might not be as bad as you expect. You could make the case that masturbation is normal and healthy, but it might be better if you didn't say anything. Only about 55 percent of males ever get discovered.

Today my mom walked in on me while I was masturbating. I was scared to death, but she said sorry. Afterward, she said not to worry, that it's normal and she bought me a doorknob that locks. (age 14)

Now make a habit of locking the doorknob whenever you're in the room or people will assume that you're masturbating whenever it's locked.

A few days ago my aunt suspected I was doing the deed, and most likely it's because she knows. She told me that she knows what guys my age do. Now I'm really worried that she knows and might try to catch me red-handed some day. How do I find out if she really does know? (age 15)

I don't think you have to say anything. Just tell her it's none of her business.

I masturbate regularly but I'm scared that my parents know. I get white stains on my bed that are actually dribble but I'm scared my mom will think it's cum and I'm really embarrassed. (age 13)

You don't need to be embarrassed or worried about your parents. It doesn't matter whether the stains are caused by dribble or ejaculation. They will come out with shaving cream.

Every time I start masturbating, I keep hearing noises outside my bedroom as if someone is waiting outside or looking through the keyhole. What should I do? (age 13)

I think you're just being paranoid. There is no reason to be guilty about masturbating. You should feel relaxed in the privacy of your bedroom. If your keyhole is really that big, you can always plug it with cotton or toilet paper. There is no key for it anyway, right?

I like to masturbate in bed but I sometimes leave stains on my sheets. Once my sister who is 22 crept into my bed and saw the stains and just went "eeww," and she teases me every time I take my sheets to the laundry. What does this mean? (age 14)

I don't think your sister is very mature. It might be better if you didn't say anything about it and just let her get tired of teasing you. If it bothers you, you could point out that stains on sheets can result not just from masturbation but also from wet dreams, and this is akin to her getting a little menstrual blood on her sheets. It might also be a good practice for you to learn how not to get semen on your sheets or to clean it up right away if you do.

I have always been worried about getting caught by my mom. I started when I was 12. I almost always use the Internet when I masturbate, but I have to run a network cable down the hall, past my parents' room, so they see it very easily. I don't have a lock, so I put a box in front of the door. My mom has walked in 3 times, but she has never seen me. She doesn't know that I masturbate. She told me to stop putting stuff in front of the door. How do I get privacy, or what do I tell her to let me have my own privacy? I can't get a lock on my door. (age 16)

Just tell her to knock when your door is closed. That's only civil. I suggest you stop using the Internet that way, since it weakens the credibility of your privacy argument. A lot of guys use the Internet in another room to get warmed up and then move to the bedroom when they're ready for actual motion.

I have never been caught before, but I know it's going to happen sooner or later. I know that if I get caught, they will make fun of me. The door to my room is messed up, so I have no way to do it without worrying about someone coming in at some random time. (age 16)

It isn't inevitable. In a survey I conducted, 40 percent of males have never been discovered. You could try blocking the door with something heavy so you would have at least 1 second to react if someone opened the door.

I was once masturbating, when I heard my mom shouting, "Why are the curtains closed?" I was panic stricken, and struggled to get my clothes on. My voice was shaking. I was so afraid. Finally she came in, with me poorly dressed. I think that she knew what I was doing, but she hasn't said anything since. I am worried that she knows and what she thinks. Would should I do? (age 13)

Don't worry about it. I'm sure she understands.

Great site, man, totally unbelivable! I got caught masturbating by my girlfriend. She saw me the entire time and I had no idea she was there. I was mortified. I was all blue in the face.. I was about to faint out of embarrassment! She was watching me through the door. She laughed and then went downstairs so I finished! When I came downstairs a half hour later she said it's OK so don't worry about it. My face was all red! Mother catching you is nothing compared to the embarrassment of your girlfriend catching you! (age 18)

Hmmm... I can understand why you'd WANT her to "catch" you so it could lead to something else. You're lucky she's cool about it, but not so lucky that she would spy on you. Maybe you need a new girlfriend.

I admit I sometimes masturbate while reading HealthyStrokes.com. My mom started knocking when I was on my computer and had been masturbating. I let her in and she was suspicious. She then noticed that the computer was on and she asked me if I was looking at bad things. I just said no. Next, I used the bathroom to clean my penis. When I came out she said I looked guilty. I still think my mom believes I was watching porn. I wasn't. I was doing a natural thing, but she doesn't know that. Do you think I covinced her that I did nothing wrong? (age 12)

You were truthful about not using porn, but you were acting guilty because you were embarrassed about masturbating. If she doesn't want you to look at porn, it is better if you don't, especially at your age. I suspect your mother wouldn't object to your masturbating without porn. You have nothing to be guilty of, but no one would blame you for acting strangely in that situation.

One night a friend was sleeping over and I woke up with a raging boner and I just had to get rid of it so I masturbated since he was sleeping. Then I think he saw me. What should I do? (age 16)

You should have gone to the bathroom and relieved your "raging boner" in private. But I don't think you should say anything since you're not even sure he saw you, and he didn't say anything about it.

I'm a 19 year old male who was caught by my mom masturbating while lying on the living room floor. She watched for a few seconds until I ejaculated and then told me that I should put a towel on the floor if I'm going to do that. I don't know what to think about that. Is that normal to be watched like that?

What's not normal is masturbating on the living room floor when you share the house with other people. Your mother was probably so shocked it took her those few seconds to think of what to say.

I was once almost caught by my sister, but she didn't open the door. Do you think she knows what I was doing? (age 13)

That's hard to say. She probably assumes you masturbate, but she might not have known you were doing it that very minute.

I was home alone so I thought it'd be safe to masturbate. I left my door open so I could hear if anyone came. I didn't until I heard my mom come in as I had my hand down my pants under a pillow and looking at porn. I'm a very self-conscious person and I don't think our relationship will ever be the same. (age 17)

Don't think anything of it. I don't think she did.

When I was 14, I was caught masturbating in the shower by my mom. She yelled that it was a bad thing to do. Now I'm 16 and I still feel bad about it, but I still masturbate. Could you give me advice?

She might have just been uptight about you getting semen in the shower. She probably accepts that you masturbate. There is no reason to worry about it. Just be careful to clean up after yourself.

I have not been discovered masturbating, but I have a fear of it. I only do it in the middle of the night when my father is asleep, and if I hear steps, I quickly return to a normal state. Do you have any advice that might help me keep from being caught? (age 14)

You ought to relax and not worry so much about being caught. It is keeping you from enjoying masturbation. If my page of stories about getting caught teaches anything, it is that it is not a big deal for the people it happens to.

My bedroom is in our basement and my parents are constantly coming down to do laundry so I can never find time to masturbate. There's really no other place I can do it because our bathrooms have a loud echo and I don't want to be heard. (age 13)

You will have to figure that one out. It would probably help if you could put something in front of your bedroom door that would make a lot of noise if someone came in. That would give you a few seconds to straighten up. You are probably not as loud as you imagine.

My brother's girlfriend walked in on my masturbating, and I have no clue what to do. (age 17)

Don't do anything. Maybe someday she will want you to keep a secret for her.

When I masturbate in my room I lie in my bed and have the covers almost all the way over me so I can cover quickly without anyone seeing if they come in. My 19-year-old brother has walked in repeatedly and I don't know if he has a clue what I was doing. (age 15)

He knew what you were doing. I promise.

Over the past few weeks my 10-year-old brother has been sleeping in my room. This interferes with my masturbation regimen and I am often easily annoyed at night. How can I get rid of him without hurting his feelings but not revealing the truth? I'm afraid he might wake up one night and catch me. (I always wait till he's asleep.) (age 15)

I think you'll have to tell him you want to be alone in your own room at night. He ought to understand, even if he knows nothing of masturbating. Tell him you'll see him in the morning.

I was near orgasm when suddenly my mom burst into my room to say goodnight. I had a blanket over me, but I am 80% sure she knew what I was doing right then. Now, every night before I go to bed, she has this look on her face knowing exactly what I'm going to do. I'd lock my door but my mom says no one is allowed to do so. Now I'm nervous at night thinking of her knowing I'm masturbating. (age 14)

I don't think you should worry about what she might think. If anything, she will be more careful about barging in on you now.

One day I was looking at a Playboy magazine and I stared to masturbate and my mom walked in and said sorry. I was so upset that I got caught. After an hour I went downstairs and my mom told me that it was OK and she asked me if I wanted her to buy me some magazines.

Wasn't that a happy ending?

My dad caught me masturbating. My music was loud and he needed my soldering iron. He saw me, but said "HEY!" loudly, and I pulled my pants up and got it for him. He didn't say anything about me masturbating. What should I do? (age 16)

You don't need to do anything. If he didn't need the soldering iron, you wouldn't even have known he was there.

I had to sleep on my mom's bed one night, and ended up having a wet dream. Will she have found out? (age 16)

Probably not.

One night I was masturbating and had my pants off but I ended up falling asleep. The next morning when my mom came to wake me up she saw me asleep with no pants on and smiled because she knew what I had been doing. (age 16)

So tell her you were changing clothes when you suddenly fell asleep.

I went to my girlfriends house after school and used her bathroom. I masturbated with the door closed. She walked in on me. Now we are too embarrassed to talk to each other. What should I do? (age 14)

It's been over two weeks, so just talk to her as if nothing had happened. But don't be surprised if she's still embarrassed. Like I always say, it's risky to masturbate anyplace other than your own private space.

What should I do if my little brother finds me masturbating. He's the kind of little brother who tells your mom and dad about what you did, and he might tell my friends too. How can I know if my parents already know I do? (age 15)

Your parents and your friends probably already assume you masturbate, so your little brother does not have much power in that regard.

Before I turned 16, my sister walked in on me while I was masturbating at the computer. She uses this against me when I have my friends in the house by telling them about it and reminding them about it everytime they come over. I'm kind of embarrassed that my friends know this. Now every time on the phone I say "I got to go do something" and its at night, my buddy says "you gonna go beat off now?" Do know what I can do? (age 16)

Just tell the friend, "Absolutely!" and don't say anything more about it to your sister and she will outgrow telling people about it.

How do you people get caught? It's so easy to avoid: Only masturbate when no one else is in the house or at night when everyone is asleep or in a place where you can keep tabs on everyone in the house. if someone gets close, pull your pants on and act naturally. You can resume masturbating when that person is safely out of range. (age 19)

Your rules are not that easy to follow. When masturbating becomes a daily habit, as it is for most young males and more than a few females, one will not want to wait until the house is empty or everyone else is asleep. It is also very difficult to "keep tabs on everyone in the house" while concentrating on having an orgasm. So most people get discovered at least once. A locked door is the best defense.

I got caught tonight. When I go to bed I never want to wake up! How am I going to look at my mom's face tomorrow? (age 17)

Just go on as if nothing happened. I bet that's what she'll do.

I was caught masturbating by my 19 year old sister last week and my pants were down. I was too busy pulling my pants up that I forgot to exit out of all of the web sites I was on. She looked at the computer screen and went and got what she wanted from the room as if she didn't even notice. Then she just walked out without saying anything. (age 15)

That's the best you can hope for in that situation. You don't need to say anything either.

My mom caught me masturbating to porn one day and she told me not to do it and just left. A few days later she got me a nude magazine and said it was OK. Do you think she was saying don't watch porn? (age 14)

Yes, definitely. She obviously approves of you masturbating using the magazine of her choosing.

I was sleeping over at my friend's house and it was about 10:30. I got an extreme erection so I started to masturbate. Soon he said, "are you done yet?" I was so embarrassed. He said I could finish and he wouldn't look, so I finished and went to sleep. When I woke up in the morning, I found him masturbating. I haven't really talked to him since. What should I do? (age 16)

You caught each other. So you're even. You like to masturbate at night, and he likes to masturbate in the morning. I think you should talk to him and be friends again.

I was lying on the top bunk of my bed and got an urge to masturbate, so I started masturbating. Then my muo said, "if you're going to do that, then I will leave the room." It was definitely the most embarrassing moment of my life. (age 15)

The most embarrassing moment of your life so far.

I was masturbating one day when my older sister walked in. She said, "oh, I'm sorry," and shut the door. (female, age 13)

Looks like a lot of my readers would wish they had your sister.

My dad caught me one night but didn't say anything. Next morning I waited for him to go to work before I left my room and my mom told me she knew what happened and it's OK. She said dad still saw me as his little girl but had to face up to the fact that I was getting older. Within 2 days, my room and bathroom had locks. (age 12)

What a great mom and dad you have!

When I was 7, my sister and I shared a room. Once, for some reason, my dad slept in my sister's bed and when I woke up, I was masturbating. My dad was awake and asked me what I was doing. I said, "nothing." Did he actually know what I was doing? (female, age 22)

I suspect he did.

I was masturbating under my covers with the lamp on one night when my mom walked in without knocking. I scrambled to get my pants back on and the light off in time. I am not sure if she saw, but do you think she knows? She didn't say anything, and I was pretty good at hiding under the covers. But I think she suspects something but I don't think she knows what masturbation is. Are there adults that don't know what it means? (age 16)

Of course she knows what it is. I doubt very many adults are unfamiliar with the concept. She probably suspected something because of the speed at which you moved to cover up.

I was once in the bathroom and JUST before I ejaculated, my mom came in to get some clothes out of the hamper. I tried to cover the semen but it was all over. She told me to clean up. Do you think she knew the entire time? (age 12)

Yes, absolutely she did.

I was visiting my aunt when I was 15. One night I was masturbating in her bathroom and she walked in completely naked to get in the shower. She just froze for a second, apologized, and walked out. I still feel embarrassed when I see her. Should I? (age 19)

No. You were both embarrassed, but it should have been over that minute. There is no reason to still be embarrassed four years later.

One day I was masturbating while watching TV. Suddenly my sister's friend walked in to get her coat. Unfortunately, I couldn't stop so she saw it all. She smiled while getting her coat and looked at me the whole time. I feel weird now because she is always at my house and wants to hang out with me. She always talks to me during class. I thank her for not telling my sister. (age 13)

She likes you! You should be happy. Don't focus on what happened that day. Just be glad it helped you get someplace good.

I regularly masturbate in the shower with my mom's myriad of soaps. Do you think she will notice the bottles emptying faster?

Only the ones she cares about. Most of them are probably there because she used them a few times but doesn't feel right about throwing them away.

I just recently got caught masturbating by my little brother (age 12), and I feel really embarrassed. We share the same room. What should I do? (age 18)

He has probably recently started masturbating or will in the next year, and he is probably relieved to know that you do it too. So you might think of what happened as helping him. I don't think you need to say anything.

While my parents were gone I decided to masturbate in my living room. About half-way I looked up and out my window, and I saw a girl I know looking at me. I was so embarrassed I couldn't move. She was just walking by and saw me and she was smiling. Now whenever I see her, she giggles at me. Will she stop eventually? (age 14)

I think so. Maybe you should ask her out to the movies.

I live with my uncle and my two girl twin cousins who are 16. My cousins had a pool party and from the 2nd story of my house I could see all the girls in their bikinis. I started to masturbate and one of my cousins walked in on me. She told my uncle, but my uncle was proud of me. Is it normal for a father to be proud of a son for masturbating? (age 13)

He might be proud that you are growing up, but I think his first reaction would be horror that you were masturbating while watching his daughters and their friends. He might be even prouder if you would learn to control yourself -- no more masturbating while watching out the windows.

I was masturbating last night through my underwear, and my mom walked in and cauht me. She said "Oh, sorry" and left. I was SO embarrassed. I nearly cried, and my mom came in later and we talked about it. (female, age 10)

It's good that your mom understands.

My 19 year old sister walked in on me in the living room when I was finishing up masturbating while watching a porno vid and I couldn't stop myself from ejaculating. She is an irritable person and I thought she would be mad, but all she did was laugh and leave without a word. What does that mean? (age 13)

It means she is cool with it. Congratulations on having such an understanding sister who is old enough to get you anything you need.

I was about 12 and shared a room with 3 other brothers so when I had to masturbate one day, I was in my parents' room and my mother came in to put laundry away. I said I was changing and she shut the door, but I realized that I had no clothes in the room and I had to run out of the room naked. Having older brothers, I'm sure she knew what was going on, but she never said anything about it, to my relief. (age 45)

I think it would be much better to be caught by an older brother than by your mother.

My mom just walked in on me yesterday. I covered up, but she was just talking to me about sex. I felt mortified because I think she saw me. Do you think she knows I've been masturbating? (male, age 16)

Yes, she does.

My mom walked in on me one day. She just walked out and said nothing after staring at me for a second. Yesterday, I was just about ready to ejaculate, and she walked in just as it shot all over my stomach. She saw the yellow stains on my underwear and everything. What should I do? (age 16)

You already know the answer because it happened before. She didn't say anything then. She won't say anything now. It might be a good time to put a lock on your door. She would probably readily agree to that.

I have quite a funny story. It was near the end of a 9 week school vacation. I desided to pay my friend a surprise visit. His parents said he was upstairs in his room playing a game called WarHammer. I walked in without knocking (the stupidest idea of my life) and I shouted "SURPRISE!!" He was masturbating on his bedroom floor. I giggled. In shock, he pulled up his pants. I sat on his bed and said, "it's OK; its normal." He sat next to me and was surprised that I didn't mind. "No, of course I don't. I do it too." I apologized for barging in. He invited me to stay. Two weeks later, my mom invited him to stay while his parents were out of town. He knocked while I was masturbating, but I had music on way too loud and he thought I said come in, but I didn't, so when he saw me sprawled out on my bed masturbating, he just said "we're even now" and laughed. I thought it was pretty funny too, so I laughed and got dressed, and we are going out as a couple now. (age 15)

That's a wild story. I wonder what the chances are of you catching each other masturbating within two weeks? Now I suppose when someone asks what you're doing, you tell them you're playing WarHammer.

I was in my dad's office and thought he was going to be gone for a while when he discovered me masturbating with a vibrator. It's so embarrassing and I don't know how to handle it. Plus I'm a girl so that makes it 1 million times more embarrassing than for a guy. (age 16)

I don't think it is more embarrassing for a girl than for a guy. Be glad it was only your dad who caught you and not someone else who works there. It might help for you to apologize for behaving in that way at his office. I'm sure he understands that it's normal for you to masturbate and will not bring it up again.

My girlfriend of 5 years and I live together, but we aren't married and are very religious. We have separate beds in the same room and have only had sex seven times over the course of our relationship. One day, when I was under the impression that she would be shopping all day long, I decided to strip down and masturbate on our couch. However, only 30 minutes after she left, she walked back in with her best friend Molly. My girlfriend quickly ushered Molly into the kitchen giggling. I quickly ran to the bathroom and washed my hands and re-dressed, only to find that they were gone. About three hours later, my girlfriend returned with a single pink bag. She ran into our bedroom without even acknowledging me and when she emerged, she was dressed in a sexy French maid outfit! We roleplayed and made love for a good two hours that evening. The only thing better would have been a threesome with Molly. (age 22)

I occasionally let stories like this onto HealthyStrokes.com, but I can't help but thinking that this one is a lie. If you are very religious, why are you not married after five years, and why are you living together, having sex at all, or wanting a threesome? And why would she usher Molly into the kitchen instead of out of the apartment?

I have a fraternal twin brother. We have a much better relationship than most bro-sis twin pairs that we know (we frequent twin conventions!). However, we never discussed masturbation around each other; for obvious reasons of privacy. The other day I was under the impression that no one was home and I decided to masturbate with my two toys. I was masturbating on the couch in our basement and I had already orgasmed twice and was about to a third time when my brother walked in. I didn't notice him at first, but from the deer-in-the-headlights look on his face, I'd say he was EXTREMELY freaked out! After about 30 seconds of sheer silence, he said: "I gotta go" and bolted upstairs. I finished up and waited a few miniutes for him to mellow out. Then we had a very successful talk about it. I'm still embarrassed that he had to see me like that and not just using my hands. (age 16)

He is probably very relieved that you were able to discuss it.

Follow-up from another reader: I too share a similar situation to you. I was caught masturbating at age 15 by my fraternal twin sister, and by that point we had each been masturbating for over three years, and although the subject had come up once or twice in a joke, we never really addressed it to one another. I was upstairs in my bedroom masturbating with the door closed on a day when only she and I were home. She burst in without even knocking and I ejaculated right then and there, all over myself. She didn't immediately leave. She was shocked! After a few days, maybe a week, we finally talked about it, and became very comfortable with each other's masturbation. We began covering for one another so that we could masturbate more often, i.e., when our parents were home. I also caught her later that year masturbating with a large vibrator, so we were pretty much even. (age 19)

How nice to see the twins getting along.

I've been caught masturbating on three separate occasions because I'm not allowed a lock on my door. Whenever my mom knocks, she just comes in without waiting for an answer. I've asked her nicely for a lock and she just says "Ha! No way!" What can I do? (age 16)

You can either masturbate in a room that has a lock, wait until after she goes to bed, or keep getting caught.

I have been masturbating for many years now and have had a few close calls with being caught. However, today I was completely naked on the sofa masturbating when my mom was asleep. Suddenly I heard her coming down the stairs. I didn't have time to get dressed, so I ran out the back door. She saw me leave and decided to follow to see what was wrong. I said I think there is a stray cat in our garden while trying to put my clothes on. She caught up with me just as I was doing my trousers up and went back inside the house. I am really nevous what will happen tomorrow as we are not very close and I feel extremely awkward. Do you think she will want to confront me about it? (age 17)

No. She probably knows or at least strongly suspects you have been masturbating for years. Just be more careful when masturbating in public rooms of your house or don't do it there at all.

The other day my dad almost caught me masturbating in my bed. I turned away just before he walked in and asked what I was doing. Do you think that he knew I was masturbating? (age 12)

Yes, I think there is a very good chance of that.

Reading this page is very shocking to me. It seems almost ALL of your stories are folks getting caught and parents apologizing, saying nothing or even saying it's normal, and the one mom giving her kid lube, a mag and a lock on the door floors me. Lucky kid. My parents gave me a spanking when they caught me and said only perverts masturbate and that is was a sin and a form of homosexuality and I would burn in hell if I didn't stop. I am grown now and no longer even a Christan and I do not feel guilty any longer and now I know that masturbation is normal, but after seeing your site's stories and questions on folks being caught, I have to ask, are my folks just freaks from the Bible belt, or do you intentionality leave out stories of people getting caught and having negative reactions? I didn't see even one story like mine, where the person got in trouble. It makes me wonder if maybe my experience was very rare and abnormal? When I was a kid, I thought I was a pervert and masturbating was my deepest secret and filled me with shame and I thought only perverts did it. My parents busting me and their reaction only made things much worse. Surely I am not the only one that went through this. I would think at least one other person would have a similar story that made it to your page.

No, I have not censored stories like that, although I don't run every "getting caught" story I receive, because as you might have noticed, they get repetitive. Although getting discovered is a fairly common experience, it is apparently not very traumatic, because I was writing this site for more than two years before I got my first question about being caught. Most parents do not have attitudes about masturbation as negative as yours (although keep in mind that the parents of most of the people who write to my site came of age after the sexual revolution). I have to say thay your experience was exceedingly uncommon. The vast majority of people who get caught by parents hear nothing from them about it, and those who do get the "it's OK to masturbate" speech that several writers above mentioned. And many have written that parents gave them lube, magazines, locks on their door, and other things to enhance the masturbation experience.

I've been masturbating since I was 12 but I haven't been caught masturbating yet but I'm pretty scared about that. My parents are really religious and more than strict. They don't let me have a boyfriend and they completely flip out when I talk to a guy. They won't be at all OK with the fact that I masturbate. I'm pretty sure that they don't and never have because of how our culture works. I don't know what I'll do if I get caught one day. My parents will totally flip out. I'm really jealous of all the people on here who got caught by understanding parents. You guys are so LUCKY and your parents are really cool. (age 20)

You don't say what culture you're from, but around here, at age 20, it is your choice whether you have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and what you do with them, to say nothing of what you do in your own private moments. There was a time when a large percentage of females were married by age 20. Perhaps it would be good if you did not spend so much time worrying about what your parents think.

I masturbate pretty regularly, every day or two. In the drawer next to my desk, I keep a washcloth in which I ejaculate. My mom started to clean up my room, and she found it. I looked in the dirty laundry and saw it. You could tell there were stains on it. I don't know if she noticed, but I'm scared if she did, she will be really mad at me. What should I do? (age 12)

You don't need to do anything. If she noticed, she knows it's normal and won't say anything. It might be that you could take more initiative in keeping your room clean, so she won't feel she needs to do anything.

I was masturbating in my room and I had just finished when my stepmother walked in telling me to do some revision. I was caught with my trousers and belt un-done. While walking I had to hold up my trousers, and she asked, "why the hell are your trousers down?" I replied, "I went to the toilet." She asked, "why didn't you do them up then?" I stupidly said "I was in a hurry." She shut the door. Later she came back to say, "you were playing with yourself, weren't you?" I tried to lie and say I wasn't but she knew I was and said "next time I catch you, I'll chop your bloody hands off." She wasn't very happy. (age 16)

Don't let it get you down. Thanks for telling us that evil stepmothers aren't only in Cinderella.

Yesterday my girlfriend came over to my house. I started to get horny since it was the first time we were alone at my house. Then she teased me, siting on my lap. Then I really got big. I'm sure she felt it. I excused myself and went to the bathroom to give it a quick jerk, and just as I reached my climax, she walked in on me and I ejaculated on myself. Apparently the door was ajar. She just watched and blushed. We haven't talked since then. I just don't know what to say to her at all. (age 15)

Tell her she made you very excited sexually and you had to go do something about it so that you could relax and enjoy being with her. Why not tell her that? It's the truth.

About a year ago, I was masturbating in the computer room. I was just starting to ejaculate w