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Reader questions about masturbation

Should I masturbate while wearing a mask? (age 17)

Nearly everyone practices social distancing while masturbating, so wearing a mask is unnecessary.

I am 6 feet tall, around 120 pounds and eat around 1700 calories daily. Can I masturbate daily? (age 17)

You are very light for your height. It might be you're not eating enough, but that is not my area of expertise. I see no reason why you cannot masturbate daily.

Last night I used a new set of sheets and blankets which were just washed. Lying down naked felt so nice at night. Before I went to sleep, I had a 15 minute masturbation session in the dark (which is way longer than usual) where I really explored different ways of masturbating. I tried using my left hand and using baby lotion as lube really made it easier to use my left hand. I also used my sheets and rubbed it massage my balls which felt really nice when masturbating. Is this normal? Masturbating for 15-20 minutes in the dark really helps me sleep. Also, is baby lotion good lube? (age 14)

All of that is normal. You would probably prefer a water-based lube to baby lotion. You might also read my page about finding variety in masturbation.

I am really confused regarding masturbation. I like to masturbate but afterward I feel guilty. I feel I have commited a sin. I feel what I am doing is wrong even though I know from you that masturbation is healthy. Currently due to the guilt, I have not masturbated for a week. Is it because I am watching porn? Is it normal to feel guilty? What do you think? (age 15)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Occasional guilt after masturbating is normal. Younger people who watch video porn seem to feel guiltier about it than those who only use their imaginations or tame images, such as swimsuit photos. I would suggest avoiding video and trying something tamer and see if it means you're less guilty afterward.

Iíve been really horny for the last 6 months or so and usually masturbate once a day. Itís always good but I want to better simulate sex. I donít have any access to toys or anything like that. What can I do to best simulate a vagina or something? (age 15)

Make sure you're using a gentle touch instead of a tight grip. Water-based lube will make your hand feel more like a vagina.

Is masturbating for an hour better than masturbating for two minutes? (age 13)

Neither of those is ideal. At your age, more boys masturbate for two minutes than for an hour. Five to ten minutes is very good. Can you shoot for that?

I have high-functioning autism and find social interactions challenging. I have managed to have 2 girlfriends by this point in my life, and I have gotten close but not fully lost my virginity. Do you have any advice on how? I really want to have sex. (age 16)

I hope you will wait longer. Find a female that you find very special who is old enough to consent to having intercourse and then does consent. There is no reason to rush it.

Does too much masturbation every day drain your energy? (age 16)

Most guys your age have no trouble masturbating once or twice a day and finding they still have plenty of energy left.

Do you suggest using plain water as lubricant to masturbate by wetting hand and penis? (age 15)

Plain water has no lubricating ability. I suggest you try water-based lube. You will like it very much!

I want to try insertion things into my urethra. Am I too young for that? (age 12)

You are too young and too old. Inserting anything into your urethra is dangerous. You could get an infection or worse. Don't ever do that. Most guys your age are learning the joys of masturbating by hand.

I am a Thalassemian patient and I am still a virgin. I have a high sexual drive. I masturbate two or three times a week. I want to know how my sexual life will be considering my disease. (age 21)

I don't know anything about your condition or how it impacts your sexuality. That is something to ask whomever is treating you for your condition. Also, keep in mind that most men your age who are not sexually active masturbate about once a day, sometimes more. I don't regard masturbating 2-3 times a week at your age as having a high sex drive.

I feel guilty after doing it. I feel I am doing something that is wrong. If my parents find out, they will be very disappointed. I donít want to make them sad. At the same time, I cannot stop doing it. I am really confused. What do you suggest? (age 15)

I suggest you start by using the name for what you're doing. Once you can type the word masturbation and maybe even say it out loud, you will be on the road to accepting masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. If you read through my page for parents, you will find that parents overwhelmingly approve of their children masturbating. They won't be sad or disappointed. They will be happy that you are growing up normally.

I feel good after an orgasm, but after a day, I feel angry and complain a lot to my wife. (age 30)

Instead of complaining, why don't you tell her how nice she looks and how good you made her feel the day before, and ask if you can please do it again.

Is it OK to masturbate when you go to the bathroom in school? Sometimes when I have a free period, I go to the bathroom and masturbate next to the urinal when there is no one else inside. (age 14)

That is not OK. You don't have privacy in the student bathroom. You could get in big trouble if you were caught masturbating in the open in a public bathroom, and not only with the school. You could get a police record for doing that or even wind up on the sex offender registry. Wait until you get home.

I masturbate in a three finger grip. I read that this way is akin to prone, even if you stroke the normal way. Is it safer to masturbate with the whole hand? (age 12)

I don't think that matters. Using three fingers instead of five is not "akin to prone." Try two, three, four, five fingers, and see what you like.

I would love to buy lube but I'm not sure what kind to get and Iím nervous because every time I think about it, I then think about checking out with the cashier and change my mind and what if my parents find it, what would they think. (age 16)

Please read my page about lube. The cashier doesn't care a whit who buys what. If your parents found it, they would probably not think or say anything. It is simply a personal-care product.

School has started for me and I havenít been enjoying masturbating since it started and the orgasms arenít good anymore. (age 13)

That is terrible. You have at least five years of school and then probably college and who knows what. I suggest planning a half hour every day where you're simply determined to enjoy yourself and not worry about school. During that half hour, you can masturbate or do anything else you enjoy. If you really have fun, you can expand to a full hour like "The Price Is Right" did.

I am trying to masturbate. Sometimes I start feeling good things and then it goes away. Sometimes I think I have had an orgasm but am not really sure. My 15 year old brother says when you get one, you will know it. Could you give me some advice? (age 11)

You are awfully young. I think you're trying too hard. Instead of trying to force an orgasm, just do what feels good and when the time is right, you will have an orgasm. Keep reading HealthyStrokes.com and see how much you can learn. You're lucky to have an older brother you can talk to.

You've said before that guys have to masturbate to get rid of their semen. But why do wet dreams exist if this is the case? (age 15)

Only about 60 percent of boys ever have wet dreams. They stop happening very soon when a male starts to masturbate. Therefore, to eliminate those sexual fluids and to keep his sex organs in healthy condition, a male has to masturbate or have intercourse often. Once he's 15 or 16, he will probably never have another wet dream. You can learn more about wet dreams on my page about wet dreams.

I'm Seymour. I have another question for you. Why do you recommend Eva Margolies's book Undressing the American Male? It is not a research. Eva Margolies is not a doctor. I could not find any information about her. She is nobody. Her book is not a work of science. It is useless.

Tell us how you really feel about Eva Margolies, Seymour! Eva Margolies is a certified sex therapist and former head of the Sexual Recovery Center in New York City. Her book is definitely "a research." Yes, that's what you said, "a research." Ms. Margolies (not a doctor) has treated thousands of patients in her clinical practice. Her best-selling book about male sexual dysfunction stemmed from her clinical practice. That constitutes science. Keep sending in those questions, Seymour.

Follow-up: Her research contradicts other research. Her book is fables. She has treated nobody. She was just a media person selling herself. It was marketing. You can't call her a doctor. If you present something as a fact, then you have to analyse all the research on this theme by authoritative sources like Pubmed.

I wish you would tell me what other research contradicts her. Can you say something like "Barnes & Sheerer, Journal of Sex Research, 2007"? I never called her a doctor, and neither does she. As I mentioned, she has a masters degree. PubMed is an index. It is not an authoritative source.

Follow-up from another reader: Thanks for the great content on this site. You have suggested Eva Margolies's book Undressing the American Male on here, so I took your recommendation and read it. Is Ms. Margolies still practicing sex therapy? (age 28)

I believe she has left the practice of sex therapy.

Is using one hand holding the base and the other working the shaft OK or does that count as prone? (age 15)

That is not prone, but you shouldn't have to hold the base.

I bought my first sex toy today, and I feel pretty ashamed. Is there any way to curb this feeling? (age 19)

Enjoy the toy and your feelings will take care of themselves.

I have been trying to masturbate for a month or two now and nothing seems to do anything. I have phimosis. Could that have something to do with it? I can't find answers to this anywhere. I have had wet dreams and they are really annoying so I want to try masturbating to stop them. Am I doing something wrong? (age 12)

You are pretty young. Not every boy your age is able to masturbate to orgasm. Give it more time. I also suggest learning to enjoy your wet dreams. Many men envy you because they never had one when they were young. Did you really get a diagnosis of phimosis or did you diagnose yourself? Males with phimosis masturbate too.

Is it true that when you wait a few days, masturbating feels better and if so, how long should I leave it for? (age 13)

Yes. That is true. Most males say they have a more intense orgasm when they have gone without one for three days. However, most males, especially around your age, would rather have many ordinary orgasms instead of one intense one.

I masturbate once and sometimes twice times a day, every day. Sometimes I decide to not masturbate because I don't want that this become an addiction. Will it affect my first sexual intercourse if I masturbate too much? (age 17)

Your frequency is quite typical for your age. The average males masturbates about once a day until age 24, and then his frequency only declines slightly. The average male masturbates about 2000 times before his first sexual intercourse but still enjoys it tremendously. I think you will be fine.

I masturbate regularly, and it feels great, but when I reach climax, I am unable to ejaculate. My friends all say they "jerk off and ejaculate," but I am troubled why they can and I cannot. (age 12)

You are young. You will probably have your first ejaculation soon. And then your second ejaculation, and your third...

I'm only 50 kg (110 pounds) and is it good for me to masturbate once a month? Does it affect my weight? Does it hinder muscle growth? (age 20)

Most guys your age masturbate once a day or more no matter how much or little they weigh. Once a month is not nearly often enough. Masturbating will not affect your weight or muscle growth. It is healthy and good for you.

I have a theory that sexually fantasizing without masturbating can make semen yellow because it makes your body produce more semen. What's your opinion on this? (age 20)

What makes semen yellow is time. If you are spending days without ejaculating, whether or not you are fantasizing, your semen gets more yellow. If you ejaculate every day or so, your semen will not get yellow.

I have been sent pictures from girls my age of them exposed. I have only asked twice of a girl I was dating and the rest have been unsolicited. I was not aware that seeing this even as a minor myself is considered child pornography. I want to work in a job where I need to have a high security clearance and I will be polygraph tested on all criminal acts. I am so worried that I could end up in trouble for this. I deleted it all and never sent anything. (age 16)

Not keeping photos like that is the best policy. If someone in your future ever asks if you've seen child pornograpy, you will be truthful in telling them only a few photos from girls my age, which I quickly deleted.

Ever since I have known how to masturbate, I have been relying on porn to be aroused. Throughout the years, I have developed fetishes and now I fear that in time, I will only be aroused by porn/fetishes. Even though I still get aroused by images of naked/half-naked women, I almost always choose porn as material to masturbate. Is there a way to overcome this problem? (age 17)

I suggest using video porn only rarely and otherwise getting by with still photos or your imagination. It would also be good for you to work at becoming sexually involved with a partner.

I have ADHD. I often find my mind wandering while masturbating and because of this I have difficulty reaching orgasm. This does not happen when I use visual aids. Is this OK in my case? (age 14)

Whether a male has ADHD or not, visual aids will help him focus on what he's doing and let him reach orgasm more quickly. That isn't always a good thing. At your age, you should be learning to develop your imagination and not rely on visual aids. You should also be working at focusing on what you're doing and not letting your mind wander. I would recommend working harder at that and not becoming dependent on visual aids at your age.

The lube I use to masturbate with has bene expired for a couple of months. Should I still use it to masturbate? (age 17)

Don't worry about that.

Tonight I was much hornier than normal, so I felt the need to jerk off more. I did it once, then by the second time, the head of my penis was hurting. Then I did it twice more, and with the fourth time, the pain came back. Should I be worried or is this normal if you masturbate multiple times within 2-4 hours? (age 15)

I'm not sure I'd call it normal, but it's to be expected. Four times in one day is the maximum that most males can claim. When something starts hurting, you are overdoing it. In this sense, masturbating is no different from lifting heavy loads.

Why are there studies by PubMed which say that vaginal sex is healthy but that masturbation frequency and the frequency of other non-vaginal sex with partners is inversely correlated with health and life satisfaction? (age 20)

You would have to tell me more about that study for me to comment on it. PubMed does not do studies. PubMed is an index. It's a database of studies that scholars have done.

You tell men that it is better to lose your virginity before 21 than after. How does one do that when he is an unattractive guy with unconventional interests? (age 19)

Plenty of unattractive guys are no longer virgins. Plenty of men with unconventional interests are sexually active. You could pursue women that find you attractive or don't mind you regarding yourself as unattractive. You might also work on becoming more attractive and developing conventional interests. The most important thing is to work on becoming sexually active and not sit on the sidelines.

Can I masturbate to pictures of girls who are fully clothed and fantasise about them in my head while looking at the picture? (age 16)

Not only can you, it sounds like a very good idea.

You say on your page about variety in masturbating that kneeling while masturbating makes an orgasm more intense. What's the science behind this? (age 20)

I've heard from a lot of males about how they masturbate, and those who've tried it while kneeling say it's a more intense orgasm. Not very many males kneel to masturbate frequently. It's more of an occasional variation. The intensity derives in part from the legs being immobilized.

It also counts as science that the eminent sexologist Dr. Irwin M. Marcus (who turned 101 in 2020) wrote in his book Masturbation, From Infancy to Senescence that he enjoys kneeling to masturbate in the shower.

How exactly do I masturbate? What does it feel like? (age 14)

I suggest you start by reading my Young Man's Guide to Masturbation.

Your site has helped me a lot. I don't have any planned schedule to masturbate. I usually get time to masturbate when my parents aren't home. Sometimes I get a month's gap in masturbation or even longer. Does it harm me in any way? (age 15)

Most guys your age masturbate every day, whether their parents are home or not. They figure out how to do it so their parents don't know, and eventually they don't care whether their parents know or not. You're still pretty young, but as you get older, your body needs you to ejaculate often to keep in healthy functioning condition.

I am getting married in 9 months. I'm a virgin and I rarely masturbate, maybe once or twice a month, and almost always in the conventional manner. So long as I don't use prone, do you think I'll be all right? (age 27)

Most virgins your age masturbate about once a day. Your frequency is very low. Congratulations on your impeding marriage. I think you will be fine.

I haven't had a stiff erection or masturbated in the past couple of days. Should I be worried? (age 19)

Have you tried to acquire a stiff erection or tried to masturbate? You should be more worried if you try and can't than if you simply haven't had an automatic erection and desire to masturbate. Also, a couple of days doesn't make any difference at all. If it gets to be a couple of weeks, that is when you should worry about a problem.

This weekend I was dying. It didn't matter what I was doing, I was getting a boner. I can't tell you how many times I thought I was going to ejaculate in my pants! (age 26)

On weekends like that, it's good to go someplace and ejaculate with a purpose, preferably with someone!

Why do we have to ejaculate frequently to flush out old semen if semen and its components are reabsorbed by the body if they don't get ejaculated? (age 20)

It is not as much about getting rid of the old semen as it is about going through the motions of ejaculation to exercise your prostate gland. The prostate gland does well with frequent ejaculation. The main cause of prostate trouble in younger men is not ejaculating often enough.

Is it true that the sooner someone starts masturbating the better? (age 23)

Some authorities have suggested that, but I haven't seen it demonstrated. I don't think it matters whether a boy starts at 11 or 13 or 15.

Is it hazardous to masturbate in a seated position? (age 19)

Not at all.

I recently got talking with one of my male friends about masturbating and we talked like an hour about it online. I was recently dying to talk to someone about this because I have never really had any talk about this stuff. This was my first time ever talking about this with people I know in real life. Did I do something wrong here? Was it right to bring this up with him? I'm going to see him soon and don't know what to expect. (age 14)

I expect it will be the same as usual with him. If he didn't want to talk about masturbating, he wouldn't have talked about it for an hour.

Many studies suggest that porn is bad for health. Why do you say it's OK? (age 20)

I don't say it's OK and almost daily tell younger males to avoid video porn altogether and to use their imagination as much as they can. If visual aids must be used, I recommend still photos with swimsuit models or simple nudity.

How come before coming to HealthyStrokes.com, I had never even heard that prone masturbation was bad? (age 14)

You are pretty young. I doubt you've heard much about masturbation at all, much less coming from authoritative sources. Try to realize how much you don't know, and be open to new pieces of information.

I feel guilty after masturbation . I am addicted to porn. Please help me. (age 20)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. All the guys your age do it. You ought not be guilty about it. You are probably feeling guilty about porn. Instead of using video porn, try to get by using only your imagination, or simple nudity or even swimsuit photos. Stay away from video porn and see if you feel less guilty about masturbating in a month or so.

Iím confused. You always talk about masturbating when you get an erection, but I can just look at a picture that turns me on, get an erection, and then masturbate. Sometimes I can even get an erection from starting to masturbate when my penis is soft. Is this OK? Should I wait for a natural erection, which are extremely rare for me? (age 12)

What you are doing is fine. That is how most boys and men get erections to masturbate or do other things.

I've been masturbating about 8 times per week for the past 5 years. Is it OK? Will it cause any problems in the future? (age 22)

It is very OK. Your frequency is typical for a man your age who is not having sex. However, most men your age are busy having sex or trying to. You're too old to be a virgin. Also, if you only started masturbating at age 17 (unless you meant you were doing it at a different frequency before then), that makes you a very late bloomer.

I am married and I still love to masturbate and masturbate quite often, at least once a day, sometimes more, usually when my wife is at work. Is it normal for older men to still love to masturbate? (age 51)

Yes, it is. I tell pubescent boys that they'll be masturbating for the rest of their lives, whether or not they also have intercourse with partners. You didn't say anything about sex with your wife. Your high frequency of masturbating is only a problem if it's keeping you from enjoying intercourse with your wife.

I prefer to masturbate standing up. Is that OK? (age 14)

Yes, fine.

Is it OK to watch porn while masturbating? (age 19)

Most men do. If it's bothering you, find something that doesn't. For example, you might be more comfortable with swimsuit photos or simple nudity than with video porn showing actual or simulated sex.

I measure the length my penis by flattening down the bit of fat near the base and bending the ruler slightly to measure my full length, and realize it reaches around 14 cm. Is this the way to measure your penis, and is my penis size currently OK for my age group, and will it continue to grow? (age 16)

Your method is correct. Your size is an adult size. It may or may not continue to grow. Most males reach full size about your age.

I think the idea of masturbating is weird. (age 22)

Nearly all the men and most of the women your age think the idea of not masturbating is weird. Masturbating is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It keeps the sex organs in healthy functioning condition. See here to learn more of the health benefits of frequent masturbation.

How often do prepubescent boys masturbate? Do they find it hard to go a while without masturbating like many older people? (age 14)

Boys who start masturbating before puberty generally say it was something they only did occasionally, not regularly. Until they're ejaculating, masturbating doesn't fulfill a biological need to eliminate sperm and sexual fluids. Thus, they can go as long as they want without masturbating. When a male masturbates after puberty is when it becomes a frequent or daily habit.

Is it true youíre not a true man until after you lose your virginity? (age 25)

No, that is not true at all. Some great men are believed to have died as virgins. It's better for a man to have sex for the first time before age 21. Males who remain virgins past the age of 21 have a disproportionate amount of sexual dysfunctions. Practice makes perfect.

Is it bad to read sex stories online while I masturbate? (age 14)

I don't think that's bad.

How would one describe the feeling of intercourse from a manís perspective? Does it feel like masturbation or is it completely different? Curious on this one. (age 15)

The stimulation in intercourse is a lot like masturbation but the feeling is different because one receives different sensations from being close to a female and being inside a female and being aware of her warmth and lubrication and the movements of her body. The actual stimulation of the penis is less because your partner's vagina does not have the same kind of muscles as your hand, and your hand muscles are, of course, completely under your control. The vast majority of men -- something like 80 percent -- say intercourse is better.

What controls libido other than testosterone? Why would people with similar testosterone levels have different libidos? (age 14)

Testosterone influences libido but it is not the only factor. Two males with the same testosterone level might masturbate or have intercourse at different rates depending on a lot of reasons. A male might be working full time and not have any energy left for intercourse or masturbation. A male might be busy with whatever they do. A male might eat too much and be too full to want to engage in sex or masturbation. Also, a male with a partner might find that the partner prompts them to want to engage in intercourse some or most of the time, while a male who has no partner and only masturbates has no partner to stimulate their interest in doing it at a particular time.

Males with higher testosterone levels tend to masturbate and be sexual more often, but testosterone is not the only factor that explains this variation.

Why do most guys find it hard to go a while without masturbating? (age 17)

Frequent ejaculation is a biological necessity for males past puberty. It is necessary to regularly eliminate sexual fluids that have built up. It also keeps one's sperm supply in good condition for fertilization. Also, most guys your age say that masturbating is one of their favorite things to do and they probably engage in it even before their body starts motivating them to do it.

Most of the time I jerk off the traditional way but sometimes I hump my pillow while hugging it and face to the side or down. Is that prone masturbating? (age 18)

That is the very definition of prone masturbation. I suggest you give that up forever. It will not be difficult for you, since most of the time you already practice conventional masturbation.

I read a study that says that levels of prostate specific antigen (PSA) increase after ejaculation and it remains increased for at least 24 hours after ejaculation and that frequent ejaculation may increase prostate cancer risk. What's your opinion on this?

Several studies have found that frequent ejaculation actually prevents prostate cancer. A team of doctors led by Dr. Graham Giles surveyed a group of men with prostate cancer and an age-matched group without it about their ejaculation frequency over their lives. They found that the men who ejaculated most often when they were young had the least incidence of prostate cancer later. Dr. Giles recommends that younger males masturbate at least six times a week.

Prostate-specific antigen (PSA) is not necessarily a bad thing. It is released into the bloodstream when the prostate is working, namely, when it is ejaculating. If a man has high levels of PSA when he has not been ejaculating, it is a sign of prostate cancer or other trouble. But an elevated PSA reading after a man has been ejaculating healthily is a good thing. Doctors ask men to abstain from ejaculation for 72 hours before having their blood drawn for a PSA test. This is so the level of PSA when the prostate has been at rest can be measured. Those might be some of the worst 72 hours of a man's year!

Follow-up: Could chronically elevated levels of PSA from frequent ejaculation increase the risk of prostate cancer? (age 14)

I've never heard that suggested. Keep in mind that elevated PSA in a resting prostate is a sign of prostate cancer, not a cause of it. Much the same way that a high white blood cell count is a sign of an infection, not a cause of one. If you read my answer to the question, you know that more frequent ejaculation is associated with a lower risk of prostate cancer. So the answer is no.

I was masturbating at midnight and then fell asleep mid session. I woke up at 4:00 and had an uncomfortable feeling in my penis. I assumed I needed to finish. I jerked off again but the orgasm was really disappointing when I thought it was gonna be way bigger. What happened? Iím not worried about anything serious. (age 14)

By definition, most orgasms are average. You had an average orgasm.

One problem I have always had with masturbating is that my arms getting tired halfway through. This absolutely ruins the experience for me. How do I prevent my arms from getting tired? (age 15)

You might be using too much force. Most guys learn to switch hands for this very reason. Another way is to use your other arm to move your regular arm when it gets too tired.

The way you promote masturbation makes me think you're involved in a big pharma conspiracy that promotes an agenda for masturbation. (age 16)

How does big pharma make money off people masturbating?

What do I do if my erection won't go away after an orgasm? (age 22)

Most men walk around or urinate and if that doesn't stop the erection, sometimes they have another orgasm.

I feel like my testosterone comes in waves. I will have high libido and want to masturbate for a few days, but it will suddenly diminish and Iím not horny for another few days. Is this normal? I used to be horny and masturbate daily a few years back. (age 17)

You don't know that testosterone has anything to do with it. Your testosterone level can only be established by a blood test. You don't have to masturbate every day, or even feel like it, although most guys your age do.

A while back, you posted a list of sites that had nudity but no sex. It was a long time ago, but would you please post the links again. (age 16)

Since I get asked this question quite often, I have started making a list of web sites that have rather tame material, showing either females with their private parts covered or only simple nudity with no sex acts. I don't "recommend" these sites but merely suggest them as a suitable alternative to other sites that contain unfettered porn. (Keep in mind that even these tame sites might contain links to porn web sites.)

A few months ago I went to lunch with a friend. While I was eating, my crush sat down opposite me. We talked, and then I went for a drink. Meanwhile, I think my crush asked my friend if I masturbate. When I got back, my stupid friend in front of her said to me that she wonders if I jerk off. I made a fool of myself and asked, "Do you mean that thing when some people massage their penis?" He angrily replied yes. I blushed and didnít dare to look in her face. We were all silent. Then we each went home a different way. I avoid her and I am ashamed and now school is done for the year because of coronavirus. (age 15)

If your crush should be mad at anyone, it is your friend who embarrassed her. She has no reason to be mad at you. You should have said it's your private business. If you were feeling bolder, you could have said, "all guys do," which not only would have helped educate your crush but would have embarrassed your loudmouth friend too. Why not call or text your crush and find out how she's holding up because of the lockdown?

When I masturbate and orgasm, my semen only comes out of my penis around an inch, maybe two. I've seen in porn where ejaculation goes a foot or more. What is normal ejaculation distance? (age 15)

Porn is not real. It is special effects. It is lies. It is movies. Men rarely ejaculate a foot or more, just like men rarely jump on the wings of aircraft in flight the way Bruce Willis does. An few inches is typical. As you get more practiced at masturbation, you will experience ejaculations that travel farther, and you will have semen land on your chest and chin.

Why do you never give hints about what your Ph.D. is in other than that it's in a field unrelated to sexuality? Why do you also never give hints about where you got it from? I'm inclined to believe that you're lying about having one or that you got it from a diploma mill.

I am a social scientist, and I got my Ph.D. at one of these schools. None are diploma mills.

I am not able to ejaculate even though I turned 14 in February. Most of my friends who have shared with me have been ejaculating since for a year or longer. I am able to get very pleasurable orgasms but no semen comes out. I have been experiencing dry orgasms since I was 9 years old. I get pre- ejaculation fluid when I masturbate now. Is this because I started masturbating earlier than my friends? (age 14)

When you get the pre-ejaculation fluid (produced by your Cowper's gland, also called bulbourethral gland), you are almost there. Think about the most arousing thing you can and stroke furiously until you ejaculate. Having masturbated since age 9 is a good thing.

Why do you not encourage people to stop if they want to? Quitting porn and masturbation were two of the best things I have done. I have nothing against masturbation but everything against porn. If someone wants to quit, then I believe you should encourage them. (age 17)

I frequently encourage people to give up video porn by switching to still photos or stories. I discourage males from trying to quit masturbating because masturbating is good for you and because it is nearly impossible for a male to quit.

Is daily masturbation a cause of knee pain and knee problems? (age 22)

Many people have blamed masturbation for their back and arm pain, but masturbating doesn't put stress on the knees.

Is it safe to ejaculate in my underwear? (age 20)

Safe, probably. Comfortable, no. Good for your privacy, no. Some people, especially women, will be able to smell when you have semen in your underwear.

How many times can I masturbate a day? (age 23)

Most males say the most they've ever masturbated in a single day is 3-5 times. Most men your age limit it to once a day, but some do it twice a day, or between 10 and 14 times a week. Very few masturbate more than that.

I've been masturbating since age 11. I've tried a lot of positions and tried lube and liked it. While masturbating, I picture boys and girls who I don't have crushes on in sexual ways. Is it OK? (age 13)

Whatever you fantasize about is up to you. Most boys fantasize about only girls, some fantasize about only boys, some fantasize about both boys and girls.

While masturbating, I ejaculate within one minute. If I have intercourse, will it also take the same time to ejaculate or will it vary? (age 30)

In general, it will take a male 1.5 times to twice as long to reach orgasm in intercourse as he takes masturbating. Your time is very short, and you are also much too old to be a virgin. I would suggest learning to relax and take longer to reach orgasm while masturbating, and that you also work on becoming a non-virgin soon.

What's your opinion on the nutrients in semen that are lost when someone ejaculates? (age 22)

It's nothing at all to worry about. You're talking about a teaspoon of material. If it really bothers you, go eat a teaspoon of something nutritious and healthy after you ejaculate.

I have reached puberty. I tried masturbating and I ejaculated. Should I continue to do that or wait till I get older? (age 12)

The average age of first masturbation to orgasm for a male is 12.25. Most guys your age make it a daily habit within two weeks of starting. It is at this point completely up to you when you do it again.

Can prone masturbation be useful in that one may last in bed longer? (age 21)

No, not at all. You want to learn to control how long you last in bed. You don't want to keep going and going because you don't know how to finish. Prone masturbation is a disorder, not a help.

Is it safe to ingest your own semen, assuming you have never had sex? (age 16)

It's safe whether you have or haven't had sex. About half of males have eaten their semen at least once, and about 11 percent of males regularly clean up that way after masturbating.

I had plans to travel in Europe in 2020. I was there for 3 weeks but then the coronavirus ruined everything and I had to return home. I planned to stay in hostels and hopefully meet girls and possibly have sex. Iím a virgin and have never even kissed a girl. Now I am stuck at home, and all my friends have girlfriends and are in sexual relationships. Iím honestly quite scared. I just want love and it seems like it will be impossible to find now with everyone at home. I start university in July, but I suspect it will be online. Do you know how I can find a partner when meeting people is so difficult? (age 18)

Let's hope this will all be over soon. I think your chances of getting into a sexual relationship with a woman in Europe were very small in the first place, considering you've never even kissed a girl. I would suggest getting involved in some dating apps like Tinder and PlentyofFish and seeing who you can meet there. You might also stay in contact with girls you knew who are still in high school. They might be interested in dating a college man.

I have serious doubts about most of the claims you make on HealthyStrokes.com. I rarely see you cite sources for anything you say. How are you qualified to answer questions on this web site? The most questionable thing I've ever seen on this web site is this claim you made on the discontents page: "Men who manage to give up ejaculating -- those few men who succeed often take years to quit -- find their sweat starts to smell like semen because they are eliminating their sexual fluids through their lymphatic system. I don't think this is good for them, and it would be better if they ejaculated..." You have no sources for this. I don't know what your motives are for having this site, but I believe they're questionable. I believe you're spreading harmful misinformation. (age 20)

I don't know what your motives are for writing to me. The story about components of semen leaching into sweat through the lymphatic system came from John Gray, a former monk and best-selling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. He claims he gave up ejaculation for a period of years while he was a monk. To this day, he argues for the benefits of "semen retention," which is something I reject. I think (although am not certain) that Gray said that in an interview in the May 1997 issue of Playboy. See if you can find a copy of that issue.

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality and am a published author. I have been studying sex since before you were born. I have been authoring this site for over 18 years, and I was formerly a consulting expert in six sexuality categories on a now-defunct web site.

Follow-up: How do you relate having a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality and being able to answer questions about sexuality? (age 23)

Having a Ph.D. is more about being able to conduct research and understand scientific method than about knowledge in a particular field. The doctor who basically invented human sex research as a discipline, Alfred C. Kinsey, had his doctorate in entomology, the study of insects.

Follow-up: What do you mean when you say you've been studying sexuality for decades? If so, then wouldn't you know better than to rely on case studies for almost everything? (age 14)

I don't believe you're really 14. I have been studying articles about sexuality in medical and psychological journals for over 30 years. Some of them are case-study based. More than anything else, I use survey research about sexuality to inform my web site, including five large-scale surveys I conducted myself. If no survey research is available, then a case study will do for now. The first article about the disease AIDS was based on three cases.

Why are non-ejaculatory orgasms more intense and longer lasting than regular ones? (age 15)

Basically, a male's orgasm is over when he ejaculates. If he can keep from ejaculating, he can make his orgasm last longer, and then rally and have another orgasm, and then another.

I can get erect by thinking and stroking, but for some reason, in order to reach orgasm I need to look at swimsuit pictures, read erotica, watch porn, etc. It hasn't always been this way and I really want to be able to masturbate normally again. Any suggestions? (age 15)

What you describe is normal masturbation. It might be your new normal. It's really great if you can get erect by only thinking (you report thinking and stroking), but as they get older, males find there's more involved than that. There is certainly nothing wrong with looking at swimsuit photos; although it is super if you can get by with only your imagination. Try to use the tamest material that will help you, and avoid using hard-core video porn (showing people having sex). I also think you'd enjoy the techniques I suggest on the page for variety in male masturbation.

Most people say they feel tired and sleepy after an orgasm. Orgasms have no effect on my energy or drowsiness. (age 14)

I suspect you have a lot of energy. An orgasm will really help you get to sleep when you've been awake 15 or 16 hours, but it won't necessarily help when you've been up for less. I would suggest giving up caffeine and other stimulants completely, or at least within 4-5 hours of when you'd like to masturbate yourself to sleep.

I don't like masturbating and wish I didn't do it, but I have almost every day since I was 13. Orgasms are too overwhelming to be enjoyable. Is it OK to not masturbate? (age 17)

I don't think you're going to stop masturbating anytime soon. Instead of deciding orgasms are overwhelming, learn to enjoy them, since you have them almost every day. Instead of trying to quit masturbating, learn to accept it as normal, healthy, and fun, and something you will always do.

Is there any masturbatory technique other than simply sliding the hand up and down the penis that you would recommend? (age 15)

I can't think of any others I would recommend. There are variations in grip and speed but they all involve stroking up and down the penis. That is how men masturbate. Men three, four, five times your age have been doing it that way since they were your age or younger.

I think you will find this hard to believe but it all started when I was in 5th grade. One of my female classmates just started zipping and unzipping her jacket and wasn't wearing anything inside and started touching her nipples and didn't notice anyone else. She was humming and looking up to the ceiling. I think she was fantasizing about something. I was in front of her and she didn't notice me. I saw her boobs, her skin, her body, and it was pink and very soft. Another female student was with us that moment and she said to her, "hey, what are you doing?" The girl immediately noticed me and her and she just freaked out. I smiled at her. She quickly turned around and zipped her jacket and went out.

Later that year I saw my first porn. It was lesbian porn and it is still the only thing that arouses me. Why can't I get aroused by other things rather than lesbian or female to female sex? I dont know if that first time I saw that girl activated something wrong in me. (age 19)

Nearly everyone can recall the first time they had sexual feelings. Fifth grade (age 10) is on the young side but you are far from the only 5th grade boy who had that kind of awakening.

Porn isn't real. Those women in "lesbian porn" are almost certainly not lesbians. They are pretending. I would suggest you work on finding other things that arouse you. Most males your age enjoy looking at nude photos of women. That is not too different from the videos you watch now. Visit a site with tame nudity like kindgirls.com and see what you like there.

Iím 14 and I haven't masturbated yet. Iím afraid to start.

There's nothing to be afraid of. Once you start, you'll wonder why you waited so long. See my page for young males.

Is it OK if I dislike using lube for masturbation because I think it feels weird? (age 20)

Anything new will feel weird. Most men prefer to use lube because it makes masturbation feel wetter and smoother (almost like intercourse) and reduces the risk of injuring the penile skin. I suggest you try more than one brand of lube before deciding it is something you dislike.

What's your opinion on people having non-ejaculatory orgasms? (age 17)

If a male can orgasm without ejaculating, he can have multiple orgasms, the way a female can. Men who've done it say it's a lot of fun. But when he's had enough, he lets himself ejaculate at the end. Ejaculating frequently is good for your body.

Since I've been in lockdown, I've started talking to one of my best friends, a girl, online, and we've talked in depth about masturbation, porn, and the like. We're not planning on becoming intimate, but we have just been discussing how we masturbate out of boredom. Is this OK to talk about? (age 14)

It's good that you can discuss those things with someone. Are you absolutely certain neither of you is planning for you two to become intimate? Conditions can change very rapidly at your age.

Most people have a hard time going more than a few days without masturbating, but I can effortlessly go weeks and months without it. Does this mean that most people are addicted to masturbation and I'm not? (age 25)

I would hesitate to call it an addiction. Most people find masturbation to be a fun and healthy habit that they like to practice often. I wish you were more like the rest of us. Frequent ejaculation is good for you.

If a clean picture makes me erect, is it OK to masturbate looking at it? (age 12)

Yes.

I put contact lens solution on my penis and it felt really good while masturbating. Is there anything bad about this? Can I do it again? (age 14)

Contact lens solution is designed to be similar to your own tears. It will not harm you to masturbate with it. But it also has no lubricating properties. You would find it a lot more fun to try water-based lube.

Usually I masturbate once every 3-5 days. But after stumbling upon HealthyStrokes.com, I've started to masturbate daily. It's only been three days and I'm experiencing the following brain fog, mood swings, irritability, and low self-esteem. Why is this? How often should someone my age be masturbating? (age 19)

Most males your age masturbate about once a day, perhaps more or less. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It doesn't cause any of those problems. Even if it did, it would not bring them on in only three days. Masturbate daily because you want to, not because you read on here that most males your age do.

I almost never wake up with an erection. Is that OK if I get several erections throughout the day? (age 14)

Most guys your age wake up erect almost every day. It's doubtful that anything is wrong if you don't. The random erections during the day are a good sign.

Iím a germaphobe and it makes me wonder if my penis and semen are dirty. Do the germs from my penis and semen get anywhere I touch? Any advice? (age 18)

My best advice is to stop being a germaphobe. You can't catch anything from yourself. There probably isn't anything harmful in your penis and semen.

Did I ruin my sexual endurance by masturbating fast? I got into the habit of looking at porn for a while and then masturbating as quickly as possible in order to not get caught by my parents. I usually last 30 seconds to 2 minutes these days and I think it used to be different. (age 19)

It is never too late to train yourself to last longer. 30 seconds is too short, but many males bring themselves to orgasm in about 2-3 minutes. 5-10 minutes is more typical and what you should aim for.

My family is in quarantine due to the Wuhan coronavirus. We live in a one bedroom apartment. I usually masturbate when my mom is at work and my sister is in school; she leaves earlier than I do. Now we are stuck together for 14 days of quarantine. I decided to masturbate in the bathroom. I didn't lock the door, because I thought that everyone are sleeping. I watched on my phone some nude girls' pictures when my mom opened the door. I was having trouble making progress because I wondered who could hear. What can I do? This is going on for another 12 days. (age 17)

We can all hope it will be over in 12 days! You are practically a grownup and should be able to have privacy in the bathroom when you want it. Perhaps you could run the shower while you masturbate, or maybe even masturbate in the shower, as many males (and females) do. The CDC tells us to Do the Five. Of course, you want to do a completely different five!

When I am masturbating, I have sexual fantasies about my friends and my crushes. As soon as I'm done, I immediately lose my sexual desires. Why is this? (age 16)

That is the way it's supposed to work. You satisfied your sexual urge and no longer feel desire (for a little while). It's just like how you don't feel like eating after you've been eating.

What's the point of masturbating? It's boring and the orgasm feels weird. (age 15)

Masturbation is fun and relaxing, and it is how most males eliminate the sexual fluids that have built up. Masturbating also keeps a male's sperm in healthy condition for fertilization. I suspect after practicing it often for a few decades, you will no longer find it boring and no longer find the orgasms weird.

I am overweight. Does this increase my chances of losing my virginity late? (age 15)

According to a survey of over 5000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in 2008, this is the reported current weight of males and the age at which they had intercourse for the first time:
Current weight (lbs) Age at first intercourse
100-149 17.6
150-199 18.4
200-249 18.7
250-299 18.9
300+ 19.4

It appears that as a male gains weight, he tends to lose his virginity slightly later. Keep in mind that this survey asked respondents' current weight, which was not necessarily the same at the time they began having intercourse.

When I was two years younger, I got into weird types of porn. It started off simple, but I later found it odd and disturbing. I have since outgrown it, but it sticks with me. Is it OK for kids to experiment with different or even odd types of porn? (age 16)

I have to say it isn't. Even 30 years ago, when a teen said they were using "porn," they basically meant simple nudity. Nowadays extreme material that used to be available only in specialty stores in the largest cities are easily accessed by any computer or phone. It would be better for young people if they didn't have access to that. It wouldn't have stuck with you if you had never seen it. That stuff is marked "adults only" for a reason.

Iíve been masturbating for over 3 years now, since I was 11. If I see a girl I like, or a hot girl, I start thinking about masturbating to them. Iíve heard that this is normal. However, Iím afraid that this may ruin any intimate relationships or conversations with these people. I masturbate thinking about a lot of girls, but I donít want to ruin anything in real life. Do you think I can masturbate to them and uphold a strong bond with them? (age 14)

If fantasizing about a particular girl that you know will bother you, then fantasize about someone who won't. Many people fantasize about celebrities and models for this very reason.

Is it healthy or OK to participate in "No Nut November"? (age 16)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Giving up masturbation for the month of November is not normal, healthy, or fun. Most guys your age will masturbate between 27 and 35 times in November. Why would you want to give that up, and for what?

Whenver I finish masturbating, I wash off the semen and continue with my day. After a while, my underwear gets sticky with a slight bit of semen in it. I usually put a tissue in between my penis and my underwear. Is this normal? (age 14)

I've never heard of anyone doing that. Most guys urinate shortly after ejaculating to make sure all the semen is out. After that, nothing should be leaking out.

Why does my wife masturbate in her sleep even after we have great sex? She always does it. (age 43)

Does she know she's doing it? Many people who sleep masturbate aren't aware of it, especially women. Wake her up next time and then perhaps perform cunnilingus on her.

I think masturbation is boring because it only feels good for a few seconds during orgasm and everything else is isn't fun. (age 15)

Work at enjoying your whole masturbation sessions. According to Masters & Johnson, there are four phases of sexual response. You seem to know that orgasm feels the best, but the others are fun too. Try to enjoy stroking during the arousal phase. Try to make the plateau phase -- when you're aware you'll orgasm if you keep up what you're doing -- last longer. 10 seconds of plateau is good; 30 is excellent; a full minute is divine. Keep in mind you could live to be 100 and will masturbate a lot in the next 85 years.

Is it true that young males prefer oil-based lube and older males prefer water-based lube? (age 16)

I wouldn't put it as starkly as that. When teen boys are looking for a lube for the first time, they are apt to use an oil-based household product like Vaseline or hand lotion, or even cooking oil. When males start buying lube for sexual pleasure, they are more likely to buy a water-based product and not use oil-based products again.

Where are some places I could masturbate other than the bathroom? I think cleaning up semen is a hassle. Could you give me some tips on that? (age 16)

I don't think you've read much of HealthyStrokes.com, because I say on every page that most people find bed the most comfortable and convenient place to masturbate. Most guys clean up with tissues and simply dispose of them. Many guys clean up with a rag, like an old shirt. One guy in nine cleans up by eating his semen. I think you'll have to decide you enjoy masturbating more than you dislike having to clean up afterward.

Why when I ejaculate it doesn't come out like the guys in porn movies? (age 14)

Porn isn't real. Non-porn movies are also not real. This is one more reason why guys your age should never watch porn.

Are women better at recognizing the smell of very small quantities of semen? (age 15)

I don't know about men and women, but the male who ejaculated that semen is probably so used to its smell that he doesn't notice it much anymore. Someone else would probably notice it right away upon entering a room with stray semen.

I know that many boys like to think sexually about girls they know in order to get aroused, erect and ready to masturbate. Do girls do this too to prepare to masturbate, or do they just start gently massaging their clitorises to get aroused and then move on to active masturbation? Has anyone ever done a study on this? (age 15)

The most important studies of female sexual response were done by Masters & Johnson beginning in the 1960s. It has been amply studied in the decades since then. Females also get themselves aroused before masturbating or having intercourse. For many, fantasy is involved. Females respond better to actual touch than to looking at images.

What kind of condoms are best to use to masturbate without causing damage to the penis? Will lube cause any problems, or decrease the amount of natural pre-cum produced when masturbating? (age 17)

Condoms are designed to keep the penis safe and not damage it. When masturbating, a male can use a larger condom than he would use for intercourse. That is because a condom needs to be snug to keep from coming off inside the partner. On the other hand, it doesn't matter if a condom gets loose and comes off during masturbation. If lube has any impact on the emission of pre-cum at all, it increases how much there is.

Some males have latex allergies and should therefore use non-latex condoms. Non-latex condoms protect against pregnancy but are not as effective as latex condoms at preventing against sexually transmitted diseases.

I usually go a few days at a time without masturbating, but when I do I tend to binge and do it 2-4 more times later that day. Why? (age 14)

You are young and learning. As you get older, you will appreciate spreading your ejaculations out over the week and not having them all on the same day.

When I am about to ejaculate, my testes go in. Is this normal or something bad? (age 14)

That is very normal. The scrotum and testes rise so that sperm cells can be transferred to the prostate gland and be ejaculated. Notice that the scrotum immediately goes back down after ejaculation.

Will I get in trouble for looking up pictures of naked 14 year old girls? I understand the dangers of porn so I want to stick to images but older women donīt interest me. I really want to see someone my own age naked. (age 14)

Pictures of naked 14 year old girls are considered child pornography and you could get into serious trouble for having then. I suggest you stick to swimsuit photos, or better yet, your own imagination.

What does it mean if I have all the signs of high testosterone but my libido is low? (age 14)

It means you have been diagnosing yourself. Only a doctor can diagnose high, low, or normal testosterone, and only by using a blood test. At 14, it isn't so bad if your libido is low. If you think something is really wrong with you, then see a doctor.

Is humping a wall prone masturbation? (age 13)

I would have to say that it is.

What should you do if someone walks in on you while masturbating? (age 14)

Probably nothing. See my page about being caught masturbating to see what hundreds of people have done in that situation.

Can I lose my virginity through mutual masturbation with another male? (age 20)

No. Most people say you have to have vaginal or anal intercourse in order to lose your virginity.

How can I find more pleasure in masturbating? (age 13)

I'm surprised you're not finding it to be the most fun thing you've ever done. You could start by reading my page about variety in masturbating.

Would you recommend a sex toy, a Fleshlight for example, to use for masturbation? (age 32)

The only sex toy I've ever recommended for males is the Super Head Honcho. It's much cheaper than a Fleshlight and more pliable.

How would I know if I can pre-cum or not? (age 12)

You can pre-cum when a clear watery substance flows from your penis at times when you are or have been aroused.

As much I can, I control my masturbation session to last more than 30 minutes. Is it possible to do that in sexual intecourse, stop and go? (age 30)

Generally not. If you stop working during a session of intercourse, you are apt to lose your erection and be unable to continue. The fact that you are even asking tells me that you're a virgin. You're too old to be one. I suggest you work at getting sexually involved with a partner soon.

How long should it typically take someone around my age to reach orgasm? If I actually try, it only takes 20-30 seconds, which seems too fast. (age 16)

That is much too fast. The typical time at your age is 5-15 minutes. I would suggest working to last 10 seconds longer every week. This week, try to last 30-40 seconds, then next week, try to last 50 seconds, and so on. Try to enjoy your whole session and not only the orgasm.

Can I use Cetaphil cleanser as a lube? I do not have any lube at home. Is it safe for masturbation? (age 13)

Cetaphil is a lotion, which is an oil-based lube. It is safe for your skin.

Why can't I feel any pleasure when I have an erection and masturbate? I know I can ejaculate and feel pleasure, because I have wet dreams. (age 13)

You are pretty young and probably just need more practice. Don't fret if you to don't have an orgasm right away. Keep arousing thoughts in your head and try again tomorrow or the next day.

Is it normal to masturbate with your male friends? I do it even though I'm not gay. I'm just wondering if other people do it and if I'm weird. (age 12)

Not very many guys do, so it's by definition not normal. But enough people do it so it's not all that weird. Most guys prefer to masturbate alone.

What are your thoughts on NoFap? Do these provide any real benefits, or truths? (age 22)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. For 50 years, hardly anyone believed that masturbation was bad for you. In recent years, the NoFap movement has appeared. I believe it was provoked by the extreme porn that many males are using these days. If males would use more traditional images (swimsuit models, simple nudity with no sex acts), there would be less revulsion about it, and more people would accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.

I have always felt completely and utterly repusled by all sex, romance, and intimacy. I don't like the idea of having partners sexually, intimately, or romantically. The only things I like are pure 100% platonic friends, and family. Is this normal? If not, do I need to change it, or fix it? Does it matter so long as it's not something that really bothers me one way, or these others? Is it OK to be a virgin my whole life, and be celibate if it doesn't harm me, and makes me happy? (age 40)

Nearly everyone wants love, affection, sex, and a life partner. Not wanting those, by definition, is not normal. Have you tried talking to a mental health professional about how you feel? I would suggest trying sex at least once before deciding you don't want it. It is completely your choice if you want to be a virgin your whole life. Some people are.

Is it OK for me to masturbate more than twice a day and is it OK to masturbate while watching porn? (age 12)

Most males masturbate about once a day. It isn't so unusual to hear of someone 14 or younger doing it twice a day, or even more. I suspect you will be down to about once a day within a year or so. It is better if you can use only your imagination and not need video porn at your age. Work at developing your imagination.

Does having more sleep have any effect on the growth of the penis during puberty? (age 17)

Not at all.

Is there a difference between being aroused, being horny, and having an erection? I get erections really easily. Even if someone just talks about anything intimate or sexual, I suddenly have an erection. Is this normal? I masturbate three times a week. Is this normal? Thank you for answering and I love your site. (age 13)

Most people use the terms aroused and horny interchangably. You can have an erection when you're not aroused, especially at your age. Waking up with an erection does not come from arousal, and neither does the erection you get when you have a serious need to urinate. Most boys your age get erections all day long that don't have anything to do with arousal or sexual desire. It's good to be able to erect easily. They will not happen as easily as you get older. Your masturbation frequency is not at all unusual for your age. Thank you for reading HealthyStrokes.com.

Recently after a rough masturbation session, I noticed a small red, round circle on the shaft where I hold for jerking. It got slightly larger but is not still growing. It is not itchy or sore but it doesn't look nice. I'm freaking out about having to go to the doctor, which would be embarrassing. It fades when I hold off masturbating, but when I masturbate, it flares up again. (age 14)

I advise against rough masturbation. If you are not already using lube, now is a good time to start. In addition to making masturbation easier and more fun, the lube will act as a protective coating over your sore and help it heal faster. If you aren't inclined to get lube this very minute, applying a small bit of lotion that you might have around the house will also promote healing. (I should also mention that many boys your age use lotion as lube for masturbation.) Don't be afraid to tell the doctor you masturbate; the doctor masturbates too.

My mom is very religious and I have a strong urge to masturbate. What should I do? (age 13)

If you aren't masturbating already, you should expect to have a regular habit of it within a few years. Not very many people believe masturbation is contrary to religious practice. Males and females of all faiths practice it regularly. You might start by reading my page for Christians. I hope instead of fearing your mother's wrath, you will accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.

I have been masturbating for four years now. There are some masturbation and sex related things I need, like lube and condoms, but I don't know how to ask for them. How should I ask for these things? (age 15)

Can you buy them yourself? Then you wouldn't have to ask. You can get a tube of lube for a dollar or less at Dollar Tree or Walmart. Many places that deal with teen health give condoms for free, possibly even your school nurse. If you can't find any free ones, you can also buy a box of them at any drug or discount store for a few dollars. If you really can't buy them yourself, maybe you can ask your parents if you can put them in the cart when you're at the store.

I masturbate once a week and then feel irritation in the perineum after ejaculation, and it persists for 3-4 days. Do I have have any issues? (age 42)

My first thought is that you are not ejaculating often enough. Most men your age ejaculate 4-7 times a week. Try doubling your frequency, at least, and see if the pain goes away. Your prostate likes to be emptied more than once a week.

I masturbate to still photos. Is that OK? (age 14)

It is better than if you used video porn, but your own imagination would be better still, at your age.

Previously I masturbated 3 to 4 times a day. But all of a sudden, I stopped doing it. After 3 days, I felt pain in my testes. After I masturbated again, the pain went away. Is this normal? Can I masturbate once a week? (age 19)

What you describe is pain that comes from taxing your prostate, first by masturbating at an extreme frequency and then by stopping suddenly. Most men your age masturbate about once a day, sometimes twice. That frequency would be better for your prostate. Once a week is not enough.

Is petroleum jelly OK to use for lube? (age 14)

Yes, and it is very popular at your age. As males get older, they prefer water-based lube.

What are some easy and accessible home items that can be used as lubricant? I've heard coconut oil and olive oil are good but I don't know for sure what are good choices. (age 13)

Nearly every male prefers water-based lube to oil-based products. In general, anything that can be eaten or used on the skin is OK to use as lube for masturbating. Many boys your age use petroleum jelly or hand lotion. Cooking oil is the choice of fewer.

I usually masturbate in the bathroom, into the toilet. If I were masturbating anywhere else, how would I clean up the semen? Like if I was in my bedroom at night? (age 15)

Most males ejaculate and then clean up with a tissue or rag, like an old shirt. With practice, you can control where your semen gets ejaculated. Most males aren't bothered if they occasionally get a few drops of semen where they weren't planning. It's more relaxing and fun to masturbate in bed than into the toilet. Some males go to sleep within seconds of their ejaculation.

Any tips for masturbating for teens with OCD? (age 14)

It is no different from masturbating without OCD. You might want to start by reading my Young Man's Guide to Masturbation.

I have tried masturbating with lotion many times but I never enjoy it as much as dry. I don't like the gross and messy feeling of lube. Is something wrong with me and will this negatively impact me later on? (age 17)

Lotion feels messy to you because it is oil-based. I suspect you would prefer the feeling of a water-based lube. You can try one for about a dollar. You might never go back to dry. Read what this guy says:

I'm now 18, soon turning 19. I'm one of the many people who you suggested water-based lube to. I love it. I use it for everything. It makes masturbating and sex much more fun. Much love, happy new year.


When I was 15, my friend introduced me to masturbation. He told me that it takes him 3-5 minutes. When I masturbated, it took me 40 minutes. It is common for me to last up to 35 minutes. I masturbate about 3-4 times a week and using or not using pictures doesn't make any difference. (age 17)

Your friend is closer to the average masturbatory duration for a male your age than you are. I am led to wonder if you are taking medications, like an SSRI (depression medication), that might be interfering. If so, tell your doctor you're experiencing sexual side effects. If you're not taking medications, then focus on having an orgasm sooner.

I reach orgasm very quickly while masturbating and am scared if I'll reach orgasm as quickly during intercourse. I ejaculate in just a few minutes but would like to last 10 minutes in intercourse. (age 24)

A few minutes is not so bad. It's a problem when you're ejaculating in less than a minute. You should expect that intercourse will take you 1.5 to two times as long as it takes you to masturbate to orgasm. Instead of worrying about this, work at finding a partner. You don't even know for sure that you'll have a problem with quick ejaculation.

Why is it hard to breathe after jerking off? (age 12)

It shouldn't be. You might have a respiratory condition. I don't think you have a masturbatory one.

ďMirrorbatingĒ is a great suggestion (#11 on your siteís list of adding variety to oneís masturbation practices). Thank you for it. I like to stand fully naked in front of a full-length mirror in one of our bathrooms. The mirror is on the wall behind a sink and counter. I put two panels of paper toweling in the sink to catch my ejaculation, and then I masturbate. Itís very arousing to watch myself in the mirror as I do it, especiallly when I ejaculate on the toweling. Clean-up is a breeze. Writing about it makes me want to do it now! (age 19)

Some people have mirrors mounted above their beds too.

Why do you recommend that a boy be TOLD how to masturbate rather than to be SHOWN? Do you feel the same way about this scenario for a girl? (age 34)

Showing someone, either on their body or yours, is crossing a line that does not need to be crossed for purposes of sex education. Telling them is plenty adequate, especially when you can show them resources on the Internet, like HealthyStrokes.com. This is what I advocate for both males and females.

Although most of the time one needs sexual thoughts to become aroused, I feel it is disrespectful to imagine a girl I know in a sexual situation. I feel as if that area is a gray area as it would just be playing, not trying to impregnate, or develop a relationship, so I'm stuck in this gray area of what to imagine while masturbating. (age 14)

Most people come up with an ethic covering this situation as they grow up. Some people think any fantasy is OK; others decline to fantasize about people they actually know for the kind of reasons you state. You will have to decide for yourself. That is one reason many people are more comfortable fantasizing about celebrities and models rather than people they know. Keep in mind that no one on earth knows what you fantasize about unless you tell them.

I can't orgasm during sex with my partner but when I'm alone I orgasm so fast. (age 24)

Assuming you don't masturbate prone, I would guess you're anxious and not able to relax when you're with your partner. Take time to relax and enjoy it, and don't worry so much about having an orgasm. It might happen when you least expect it.

When I started, I masturbated once a day. Now I am only masturbating once every 4 or 5 days. From reading HealthyStrokes.com, I learned most boys my age masturbate once a day. Is there something wrong with me, like low testosterone, or is it just because of my busy schedule and feeling tired every day? (age 15)

I hesitate to say something is wrong with you, but every 4-5 days is a very low frequency at your age. Most boys your age, no matter how busy they are, manage to work a five-minute masturbatory session in before going to sleep.

What exactly causes different amounts of semen to come from different ejaculations? Just tonight I masturbated and had a particularly large ejaculation. Why at certain times is it multiple large shots, and sometimes itís just kind of leaking out? (age 15)

Your body is not like a vending machine that spits out an exactly measured serving every time. This is true of all your bodily fluids. One of the main factors is how long it's been since your previous ejaculation. Try to enjoy your ejaculation no matter how large or small it is.

Is it OK to stimulate my prostate gland using my fingers? (age 16)

It is better if you don't. It's difficult to reach and very uncomfortable to do. Most men say that their prostate exam is the worst minute of the year. You also don't know how to do it and could cause an injury.

I find lately that I can barely become aroused without porn or erotica, which is really a shame because it wasn't always like that. What do you suggest to help with my porn addiction? (age 16)

I would not characterize it as an addiction. If it's bothering you, use tamer material. Try getting by with swimsuit photos or simple nudity.

I have heard of a sperm bank. My friends told me about it. They say you go in there and masturbate to donate your sperm so some random woman can have kids. Why not just use their own? Is it true that if someone has a problem with getting aroused enough, a female nurse will help them? I'm thinking about going. (age 13)

Some men get paid for their semen the way some people get paid for donating blood. They produce the sample in a small room which might be as plain as the bathroom in a doctor's office, or it might be quite lavish with leather couches and high-speed internet with a huge screen and stocked with magazines and DVDs. The women who receive the semen either don't have male partners or have male partners or husbands whose semen is inadequate for fertilization. I don't know of any sperm banks who accepts donors younger than 18. Perhaps when you are an adult, you can volunteer as a donor. There is no female staff member to help if a donor is unable to masturbate to orgasm. I know of a sperm donor who was banned for joking about that to a female staff member.

I have a pretty big crush on a girl. When I masturbate I seem to think about her. Why? Does it make me a pervert? (age 13)

You think about your crush because you find her arousing. It does not make you a pervert. Some people have a rule about only fantasizing about celebrities, people in images; as opposed to people they know. It is completely up to you. Read on.

During masturbation, is fantasizing about people you know normal or OK? (age 14)

It is normal in the sense that nearly everyone does. What is OK or not is up to you.

What does it mean when my penis goes soft when I'm masturbating, but I don't ejaculate? (age 15)

Usually it means you lost focus and became unaroused.

I am nervous to masturbate because I feel like my hands are always dirty even after I clean them. (age 18)

Men enjoy masturbating even with dirty hands. You will make them warm and sticky when you masturbate and then can get all cleaned up and ready for the next time!

When I was still in High School, I masturbated to what I called "Dictionary Porn." I not only didn't have to watch porn, but I didn't even have to look at pictures at all. I would look up words like penis, vagina, sex, and then I would completely make up a fantasy in my own head. (age 40)

I wish modern adolescents had your imaginative capacity.

Is it OK to masturbate somewhere other than bed or bath as long as it is in private? (age 12)

Yes, it is OK, but most boys your age don't have privacy except when they're in bed or the bathroom.

You say a lot on HealthyStrokes.com that porn is bad for teens, and younger, but why stop there? Isn't porn bad period? Some say porn is bad no matter what age you are. So porn doesn't have a single good thing, and is just as bad for adults as it is for kids. Also, porn glorifies violence, fetishes, and objectifying women. Porn is evil. Do you agree? (age 30)

I am inclined to agree. I tell everyone they would be better off using tamer material (e.g., Playboy, swimsuit photos) than extreme video porn. I especially make this case for the young teens who write me. Not so many years ago, hardly anyone in that age range used video porn. Deciding to use video porn was not a choice most made until they were adults. Now it is everywhere and even young teens have access. That is why I regularly discourage the young but don't address the issue much for adult readers of my site.

I masturbated with one of my male friends several times in the past but we do not do it anymore as we feel awkward about it and felt it was deteriorating our friendship. It was never sexual in any way. I was wondering how common it is that teens or adults masturbate like that in a non-sexual way? (age 15)

Not very many do. I've seen research that says as many as 30 percent have done that at least once in their lives, but that was a very long time ago, and I'm inclined to believe that a much smaller percentage of people today would say that.

Iíve just learned about phimosis and turns out I have it. My phimosis is at a bad stage yet still early. I can pull it back when semi but when Iím full hard it doesnít come back much at most half of the head. It's not painful. Is there a way to fix it with out going to the doctor or surgery? (age 16)

You seem to have diagnosed your own phimosis. That is what the doctor is for. Go get it checked out soon before it gets any worse. You might not even have phimosis.

In my family, I typically get in huge trouble if found doing something sexual, so how can I get a sex toy or lube without them noticing? Also is watching porn OK? Is using a private browser enough? (age 13)

Sex toys and porn are pretty advanced for your age. Work at developing your imagination. You can get lube at Walmart or Dollar Tree for $1 or less. Just keep the tube somewhere inconspicuous.

I really want to release semen but all that comes out is urine. Why is this? (age 12)

You haven't figured it out yet. You are young. Keep trying. It is a good idea to urinate beforehand so there won't be much urine to come out.

I've never masturbated or had sex because I'm weirded out by stuff like that. How common is this? Is it just me or is high school a lot more sexual than it once was? My parents said that when they were teens, no one ever talked about anything sexual. Now everyone is talking about sex every chance they get. (age 13)

You are young. I suspect you will be masturbating within a year or two. Sex can wait until later. The average age for first intercourse for a male is 18. I suspect some of those people who are always talking about sex are not having any. In fact, I suspect high school is less sexual than it once was because of the degree to which young people are absorbed by their electronic devices rather than interacting with actual people.

Although I am very straight, I get turned on only by gay porn. What is up with me and how can I fix it? (age 15)

At your age, it is bad if you need any kind of porn to get turned on. See where you can get using only your imagination. Your imagination will lead you to whether you are straight or gay or something in between.

Why does one get tired or feel backache after masturbating? Is it a result of the act? Could masturbation cause skin irritation around the groin area? (age 22)

Anything you do can cause backache, including masturbating. Perhaps it is the position in which you are masturbating. Perhaps the ache is caused by something completely unrelated and you're only most aware of it after masturbating. Sometimes a particular pain around the tailbone is coming from the prostate; read my page about unexplained prostate pain. Sexual activity leads naturally to sleep. In fact, about half of masturbation happens at bedtime for this very reason. Masturbating is nature's sleeping pill.

Masturbating without lube can cause skin irritation on the penis, but I'm not sure how "the groin area" is getting irritated.

I keep a few Playboy magazines in the basement. I saw today that my mother reorganized the stuff in the basement and now I can't find the Playboy magazines. I am too shy to ask where that box is. Do you think that she threw out the magazines? Do you think that she know that I masturbate? (age 15)

You're either going to have to ask or keep looking. It might be easier just to get different ones. Your mother probably knows that nearly all boys your age masturbate.

Will masturbation without lube desensitize the glans penis? (age 24)

I would rather change your question to a positive: A male will enjoy masturbating more with lube. It lets him stroke all over instead of having to avoid unlubricated surfaces that are too sensitive to touch.

Isn't delayed ejaculation a good thing? My friends say that delayed ejaculation means lasting longer in bed. Isn't lasting longer in bed something every woman wants? (age 15)

No, it isn't. A woman probably wants a man who can last a few minutes longer so he can orgasm at about the same time she does. That's a difference of about five minutes, typically. A woman doesn't want a man who still can't reach orgasm after 45 minutes of continuous thrusting into her vagina.

Why do I need a healthy sexual imagination? (age 14)

You are young and ought to be able to get aroused simply thinking of things, sounds, people, that you encountered in the course of a day. It is bad if you need to look at some manufactured image or video in order to get aroused. By developing your imagination you can learn ideas and scenarios that arouse you specifically, as an individual. If you don't have a healthy imagination, you will need to use someone else's fantasies as represented in those manufactured images and videos.

Is it weird to be grossed out and repulsed by nudity and bodily fluids? I don't like kissing or sex. As long as a woman has panties and a bra on, I am good. I prefer sexy clothes, and especially latex outfits over full nudity. I only get aroused by fetish stuff such as latex, bondage, spankings, and suffocation. No actual sex, or anything that will get the other person's fluids on me, or mine on them. Is this normal, healthy, and OK? (age 20)

It might be normal to be grossed out and repulsed when you're 12 but by the time you're an adult, people realize that nudity and exchanges of bodily fluids are conditions for having the kind of mindbending orgasms that nearly everyone desires and seeks out. More good things will happen to you when you accept a partner's fluids instead of being repulsed by them.

I really like your site. What is your best suggestion for masturbating at my age? (age 19)

HealthyStrokes.com is full of suggestions for masturbating. Have you read the page about variety in masturbation?

How do you relate visual aids and masturbation? (age 24)

For the most part, visual aids are a time-saver when masturbating. I discourage their use among teen boys who are just learning, on the idea that they should develop their sexual imaginations. They are much more useful for adult men who want to masturbate to orgasm in 10 minutes instead of 20. Even for adult men, I suggest seeing how well tamer images can work -- still images instead of video, simple nudity instead of sex acts, swimsuit photos instead of nudity, and so on.

I want to try using lube. What is a good household lube to use? Is lip balm bad? (age 13)

I doubt that anything made for use on the skin would be bad for the body. Lip balm may or may not work as a lube. Some lip balm (e.g., Vaseline Lip Therapy) is made of petroleum jelly and would work as a lube but most is more waxy and would not. I recommend you obtain lube made especially for sex, which you might be able to buy for as little as $1. Many boys your age who don't want to buy something use household oil-based products like petroleum jelly, lotion, or even cooking oil. Most switch to a water-based lube within a few years.

How fast do most people move their hand while masturbating? (age 13)

One or two strokes per second is typical.

Why do you believe men should not be virgins anymore after 21? But not women? Isn't that sexist? You're just contributing to the hateful, judgmental idea of masculinity, and the patriarchy, where men are superior to women. Rushing a man to have sex by a certain age will cause more problems, and anxiety. Some people believe in only having sex when they are in love, or married. What's wrong with that?

I am 28, and I don't plan on having sex any time soon. Why should I have sex before I want to, and feel ready? You don't sound very sex positive, and liberal. I find your idea of how, and when men should have sex as offensive, and insulting, and a direct attack on me. I will have sex whenever I feel like it.

It has nothing to do with sexism, or masculinity, or patriarchy. It's a fact that men who remain virgins past the age of 21 have more sexual dysfunctions than those who experience sexual initiation before age 21. This is not true for women. So a 25-year-old man who is a virgin is more likely to have sexual health issues than a 25-year-old virgin woman. I suggest you read the chapter about late virginity in the book Undressing the American Male by Eva Margolies, available online or at your local library.

Follow-up: I just read the Eva Margolies chapter you linked me, and I have to ask, doesn't that ONLY apply to men who actually WANT to not be a virgin anymore? How do sexual dysfunctions affect a person who always plans on being a virgin? Don't sexual dysfunctions only affect you when you are planning to have sex with a partner? If I am never interested in sex, how would that hurt me in any way?

I know I am supposed to interested in sex because men are supposed to make babies, but I'm just not. It's not that I wouldn't want to be romantic with a female, just not sexual. Surely, there are women out there who also don't ever want to lose their virginity? What's wrong with being single for the rest of your life?

Sexual dysfunctions can also affect men who only masturbate and aren't trying to be sexually active with partners. I hear from men all the time who are finding they can't get sufficiently erect to masturbate as they are used to, let alone to penetrate a partner. Yes, some people are asexual, and you could probably find a woman who wants to spend time with you but not have sex with you. But that is not the norm. It is better if you keep your body in proper functioning condition for sexual intercourse if you get to that point.

I have enjoyed masturbating since my mid-teens. Iím also happily married with adult children. I have a strong desire to masturbate solo with my wife watching. I get aroused just thinking about it. I think my wife would enjoy the experience too. She knows that I masturbate occasionally, but has no idea how often, which is around once every 7-10 days. I donít want her to think Iím weird or an exhibitionist, so Iím afraid to talk to her about what Iíd like to do. Do you have ang suggestions for me/us? (age 56)

Why don't you tell her what you want? Maybe she has been curious all these years and wants to see it.

If we masturbate daily, will white hair come? (age 16)

How many boys at your school have white hair? You can bet that almost all of them masturbate daily.

Your site seems to be pretty obviously about being conventional. What are your feelings about BDSM/kink/fetish/paraphilia? What are your thoughts about homosexuality and bisexuality and asexuality? Since these are all abnormal, and unconventional, would they be wrong, and unhealthy?

Why is there such a need to be conventional, and normal, and a part of the majority?

What's wrong with being weird, and unconventional? I saw you said that being in the 20% is considered abnormal, but why does that matter? Is it really bad that someone is in the minority over the majority?

Isn't labeling things as normal, vs abnormal, conventional vs unconventional the reason why we have so much intolerance, and shame put on things such as BDSM, and being gay? (age 30)

I think you have misread HealthyStrokes.com. The main thing I point out is that atypical forms of masturbation, especially prone masturbation, are a cause of sexual dysfunction in males.

Many people practice forms of unconventional sexuality, what you call "kink." There is nothing wrong with that. What I tell people who write me claiming they have fetishes and paraphilia is that it is better if more than one thing arouses them. If the only thing that can arouse them is their fetish or paraphilia, then they have a problem. If they can be aroused via conventional stimuli (i.e., their preferred partner, or photos of someone who might be a preferred partner), then there is nothing wrong with them also being aroused by what you call "kink," or a fetish object.

Many people are gay/lesbian or bisexual or asexual. That is simply how they are, and there is nothing wrong with it. I encourage everyone, no matter their orientation, to practice healthy sexuality. There is nothing wrong with that.

I donít understand why you are so against porn. Just because I watch porn doesnít mean I wonít get a boner when I see my girlfriend/boyfriend naked. (age 14)

You are young and don't understand the issues involved. Over history, boys your age have gotten by using only their imaginations, or simple nudity like Playboy, or even swimsuit photos. It's only in recent decades, with online porn, that boys your age have started using video porn. It is bad for you and keeps you from developing a healthy sexual imagination.

A week or two ago, when I masturbated, a clear, odorless (not sticky) liquid came out, fairly quickly. It comes quite suddenly and I canít control it much. I have never ejaculated nor had a wet dream. I have been able to repeat this a few times since. What is going on? (age 12)

That is bulbouretheal fluid, which most males call pre-cum. Its purpose is to neutralize the urethra and get rid of any urine residue before you ejaculate. I suspect you will be able to ejaculate semen within a few weeks or months.

There's no such thing as masturbating incorrectly. The only incorrect way to masturbate is by reading these types of articles, becoming self conscious, and then doing it in ways they don't like. So the opposite of that is, masturbating however we feel like, and makes us feel good, and happy is the right way. The correct way to masturbate is however we feel like. (age 27)

However you feel like might lead to sexual problems, like delayed ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. Prone masturbation is a demonstrated cause of those problems. I encourage men who masturbate prone to give it up and learn to masturbate by hand. That is how over 90 percent of men do it.

I'm not the masturbating type but I'm having wet dreams twice a week lately and I find them annoying. What do I do? (age 13)

You ARE the masturbating type. You're a male, and you're having wet dreams. Every male is the masturbating type. If you're getting wet dreams, your body is telling you that it wants to ejaculate regularly. If you masturbate at least four times a week, you will probably put an end to your wet dreams forever.

My girlfriend wants me to masturbate every day so our sex will be better than it's ever been. Or should I just stop masturbating altogether and then only make love to her? We've only had sex seven times. (age 17)

I honestly don't think your girlfriend knows much about male ejaculation. If you're enjoying sex the way it is now, then your current frequency of masturbation is fine. I don't think you will be able to stop masturbating altogether until you're having sex as often as you're now masturbating. If your girlfriend is really having sexual problems, then you should talk to her about it. Find out WHY she wants you to masturbate more often.

When I masturbate do I lose vitamin D? (age 17)

Masturbating does not cause loss of vitamin D. Have you been diagnosed with vitamin D deficiency? If so, then taking a daily vitamin D supplement as recommended by your doctor will get your level to normal. Masturbating or not masturbating will not make a difference. (Except if you don't masturbate, you'll be cranky.)

Last night I dreamed that I masturbated on and off for 3 hours but I never orgasmed. When I masturbate, I try to do it as fast as possible. Does this dream mean anything? (age 15)

Yes. The dream meant that you were motivated to write to me. Try to last longer while masturbating. There is nothing to be gained by masturbating to orgasm quickly.

I just masturbated prone. It's the first time I've done this. I'm not considering doing it again, but will anything happen because I did it? (age 14)

Prone masturbation is bad for males to make a habit. Most males who practice it develop severe sexual dysfunctions like erectile dysfunction and especially orgasmic dysfunction. I doubt anything bad will happen from your doing it exactly once. You don't say about ever having masturbated by hand, but if you're not already doing that, I suggest making masturbation by hand a regular habit.

I like to watch lesbians make out on the internet. Is it normal? (age 13)

I hesitate to call it normal, but you are certainly not the only one who watches that. Keep in mind that 25 or more years ago, no one your age ever viewed that kind of porn. For most boys your age, visual aids for masturbation were limited to Playboy and similar print magazines. The internet has brought with it all kinds of porn that used to be available only in specialty stores in larger cities. Also keep in mind that you might never in your life watch actual lesbians make out. It is dangerous at your age to get acclimated to unrealistic fantasies like that and much better to fantasize about more conventional people, like girls in swimsuits.

I love HealthyStrokes.com! Excellent! I'm an avid practitioner of masturbation. I'm looking for a straight man to masturbate with. I have only found only gay guys who want to do that, and then only if I am willing to do more. How can I go about finding a straight man to masturbate with and do no more? I seem to have missed the teenage male mutual masturbation phase. (age 38)

I don't think there is a "teenage male mutual masturbation phase." That was more common when teens had bigger families and smaller homes. Most boys that age today have all the privacy they need to masturbate as much as they want. Straight men, practically by definition, have as their main interest finding women to do sexual things with. I don't know any straight men who masturbate with their friends. I suspect you could advertise in some forum for sexual play.

I seem to no longer wake up with an erection every day. It used to happen more frequently. What do you think is the cause and how can I fix this? I also heard that this depends on the timing in which you wake up? (age 16)

Morning erections become less frequent as men get older, but at your age, they should still be happening daily. It ought not make any difference what time you wake up. It might be worth seeing a doctor to check your blood levels and rule out a serious condition.

Iíve been reading HealthyStrokes.com for a while, and I find everything really interesting. Just last night, I had what is easily the best orgasm Iíve ever had. I had been stroking with lubricant for about 10 minutes, and I tried to stay on the edge of orgasm for about 3 minutes. When I finally came, I had convulsions because it was so intense. Thanks for the tips and tricks. Iíll be checking back often! (age 15)

Thanks for being another satisfied reader of HealthyStrokes.com.

What's the shortest and the longest time a person can jerk off? I can last like an hour, because I stop and go and orgasm after that. It's more fun than 19 minutes. (age 20)

Most men say 30 seconds is the fastest they've ever masturbated to orgasm, and they started a session that short in an aroused state. I think masturbation to orgasm has been documented in as little as 10 seconds. I've heard of men taking 3 hours to masturbate to orgasm but doubt that can be a lot of fun. Also, taking 45 minutes or more is hard on the prostate gland. Most guys are happy to masturbate to orgasm in 5-10 minutes.

How can I stop masturbating? (male, age 15)

You never will. Instead of trying to stop, work at accepting masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. I suggest reading this page for thinking positive about something that's so much fun, and good for you too.

If masturbating a few times a week is healthy and a means to relieve stress and anxiety in my life, why do I feel that society and public opinion of masturbation is that it's degrading. It's as if I'm being punished because I want to reduce stress this way. It has been over 8 years since I've had actual sex but prior to that my sex life was very active. Is it the porn or the actual masturbation that makes one feel degraded? (age 40)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. All males past puberty masturbate, especially when they don't have a sexual partner. I don't agree that society and public opinion are opposed to masturbation. I don't know where you got that idea. Most people masturbate and are OK with others doing so too. If you're using video porn that is causing you to feel degraded, I suggest switching to something more conventional like Playboy and see if you feel better about it.

I really want to masturbate. But I fear getting semen on anything. It has made me think that everything I may have touched is contaminated. What do I do? (age 18)

You can wash semen off yourself easily when you're finished masturbating. If it really bothers you, you could try masturbating while wearing a condom.

What is your opinion on sex dolls? (age 14)

I'm not sure they're good for anyone, and they definitely shouldn't be used by someone your age. Work at being more effective using only the gentle touch of your hand.

Should I orgasm every time I jerk off? (age 16)

That should be your goal. It doesn't mean anything is wrong if a few times a year you can't reach orgasm.

Every time I masturbate, I feel less emotion, and I donít really feel like myself for a few days. Is that normal and what can I do for this? (age 16)

That is not at all normal. Most boys your age masturbate so often, they don't even know what it's like to go a few days without masturbating. Why not enjoy whatever emotions you can muster?

I masturbate every day once a day. I can't stop the urge. I feel like I'm wasting sperm. Please help. (age 26)

Most men your age who aren't having sex masturbate about once a day. Your frequency is completely normal. Your body produces sperm constantly. By ejaculating often, you're eliminating the least viable sperm and retaining the ones most likely to impregnate a woman. I suggest finding opportunities to have sex with women. Once you are, you'll masturbate less.

Which feels better to grown men, masturbation or intercourse? Iíve not yet experienced intercourse. Iíve masturbated often since I was 14. Intuitively, I would guess masturbation, because you have total control of the grip pressure with which you hold your penis and the speed and length of your up and down strokes, as well of your ďturn-onĒ thoughts. I donít believe this is the case with intercourse. You would be excited that youíre about to ejaculate into your female partner, but you donít have a whole lot of control over pressure and speed as far as your penis is concerned, and you had better not be thinking about anything/anybody than your female partner. I love to masturbate, because I have full control of the process. I plan to enjoy intercourse, but Iím willing to bet that it will never be as physically satisfying as masturbating, which Iím sure Iíll always want to keep doing. What are your thoughts on this dilemma? (age 20)

I don't think it's a dilemma any more than deciding whether to eat a burger or steak. You can enjoy both, and most men do. According to a survey of over 10,000 males by HealthyStrokes.com in the second half of 2007, the average male rated masturbation 8.02 on a scale of 1 to 10 and intercourse 8.82. In fact, a majority of males -- 51 percent -- gave intercourse a 10. Only 17 percent of males gave masturbation a higher rating.

In a separate question in the same survey, sexually experienced males were asked whether they thought intercourse or masturbating was more fun. 76 percent preferred intercourse and only 24 percent preferred masturbation.

One's sexual preference makes a big difference in that question. These are the percent finding intercourse more fun, broken down by sexual preference:

Exclusively straight, 84 percent
Mostly straight, 69 percent
Bisexual, 53 percent
Mostly gay, 41 percent
Exclusively gay, 44 percent
Confused, 44 percent

By the way, your female partner (or male partner) has no idea who or what you're fantasizing about during intercourse. And you won't know what she's fantasizing about either. I hope you try intercourse soon.

I want to have sex? (age 24)

If you really wanted to, you wouldn't have ended with a question mark. If you don't want to, you certainly should. You're too old to still be a virgin.

I started masturbating when I was 5. When I hit puberty at 12, I noticed that when I masturbated, I could ejaculate and semen would come out. Back then I would masturbate 10 times a day and I could ejaculate cups and cups of semen. Now that I'm older, I can only squeeze out about 1 tablespoon per session. Is there something wrong with me? I'm getting tired of masturbating and now it feels like a chore. I used to think about it whenever I woke up or just before going to sleep. Now I don't like doing it anymore and I only do it to get myself tired enough to sleep. (age 25)

Most men your age are having frequent sex with partners and are not masturbating as often. You never ejaculated "cups and cups" of semen. I also don't think you're ejaculating a tablespoon. Probably more like a teaspoon. You should only masturbate when you feel like it. Don't masturbate because you feel like you have to.

I'm intrigued to know if nettles are good for penis health and if there are any side effects to whipping the penis and rubbing gently with stinging nettles. I've never tried contacting a forum like this and would love to hear from you. (age 33)

Stinging nettles are a prickly plant that can cause dermatitis (inflammation of the skin) on contact. I have no idea why you would want to have that anywhere close to your penis.

I had a varicocele laparoscopic surgery 4 days ago. I masturbated about 6 hours ago without any pain. Will something bad happen? Should I continue masturbating? The doctor didn't tell me anything. (age 15)

I think you should talk to the doctor or nurse before masturbating again.

I masturbate in the bathroom standing up, then finish into the toilet. Is this OK? (age 14)

You're not the only one who does that. As I've said many times, you'd probably find the bed more comfortable.

Is a solution of corn starch and water safe to use as lube? (age 22)

There's nothing unsafe about it, but that sounds more like a paste than a lube. You are a grownup and can walk into any store you want and buy a lube made especially for sexual purposes.

I have been masturbating since just before my 12th birthday. I first masturbated once every two days then changed to once a day and now it wants more. I cant stop masturbating. The longest I've gone without is 5 days. I have masturbated four times in public. Do you think that it is normal? Should I tell my parents and go visit a psychiatrist or sexologist? (age 14)

It is extremely normal to masturbate at your age. Most boys your age do it daily or more often. I suspect you will reduce your frequency by the time you are 16. There is no need to tell your parents or see a psychiatrist or sexologist. All those people would tell you is that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun. The only thing I'm concerned about is your masturbating in public. That could get you in trouble. Wait until you're in a private place.

Is it normal to want to compare with your friend? (age 15)

Yes, lots of friends do that. But more don't.

It feels really good when I relax the muscles for urinating a little bit while masturbating. Is this normal? (age 15)

Yes, you are engaging and disengaging your PC muscle when you do that. Many males and females exercise their PC muscles to give them greater control over their orgasms. These are called Kegel exercises.

Is masturbating several times in one day bad for your brain? (age 16)

No, it's good for your brain. Your brain is the part of your body that gives you the idea to masturbate.

When I was a kid, my male neighbor and I got caught in the nude about to masturbate by my dad. It was horrific. They made me an appointment with a psychiatrist. I think it was because I was experimenting. At one time I thought I was bi so I told someone and that got back to my parents and they told some people at the time. Now years later my mom asked me if I was still bi. (age 30)

You don't say how old you were or how old your neighbor boy was or even if he was your friend (you called him a neighbor). It's OK if you want to be bi or gay or straight or something else. The psychiatrist probably told you that too. But parents don't want their minor children experimenting, as you put it, especially with other people who they might not know much about. Now at your age, you don't have to tell your mother if you're bi (or gay or straight, or something else) if you don't want to.

Iíve been masturbating since I was approximately 14. Iím now 46. Iíve also been happily married for the last 16 years, while still happily masturbating once or twice a week during those years. My wife and I make love once a week, with rare exceptions. Itís usually a scheduled activity. She is a prude when it comes to sex, although she seems to enjoy it, but she never wants to talk about it. The other day, she finally caught me dead to rights masturbating, and I was very close to ejaculating in profusion. She saw everything. Weíve been avoiding each other around the house since the incident, and definitely not making love. Do you have any suggestions on how I can explain to her and then getting on with life? How can I explain itís a natural activity and doesnít reflect in any way on her as a wife or on me as some kind of pervert. Thanks for your help.

My first thought is for her to read some of HealthyStrokes.com. You might even print out for her the Young Man's Guide to Masturbation. She obviously doesn't accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It's very normal for a man your age to masturbate when he's only having sex about once a week.

Before I masturbate, I watch porn for 2 hours. My penis becomes hard for 2 hours and then I masturbate. Is it OK for a penis to be hard for so many hours? (age 30)

Nearly all men your age use visual aids one of two ways: They either watch something exciting for 2-3 minutes before they masturbate to help them get erect, or they watch something exciting while they masturbate to orgasm in 5-15 minutes. There is no reason to be erect for two hours. That is hard on your prostate gland and probably on your other sexual parts also.

Is it OK to masturbate with a friend? I really want to do it with someone but I don't now how they would take it. (age 15)

It is OK, but your friend might not like being asked. It could impact or even end your friendship. If you're not sure how your friend feels, then you're better off not asking.

What is the average age to go through puberty and how besides penis size do you know if you have gone through it? (age 14)

Most boys start puberty at 12 or 13 and it lasts for about 18 months. In puberty, a boy ejaculates for the first time; grows taller; grows pubic and body hair; and his voice changes. By the time a boy grows facial hair, his puberty is over.

What are your thoughts on autofellatio? (age 14)

Only one boy in 1000 can. I think he does.

I prefer masturbation over sex with my girlfriend. Is this normal? What should I do to fix this? Should I fix this? (age 19)

More than 80 percent of men prefer intercourse to masturbation. By definition, it is abnormal to be one of the less than 20 percent. I have the feeling you have only had one partner. Perhaps after you have had several partners, you find that you enjoy intercourse more than you do with your current partner. I would suggest cutting back on how often you masturbate (perhaps even give it up completely) and only have sex with your girlfriend for a few months and see if you're liking intercourse better.

I masturbated 3 times a day for about 2 months at this time last year. I then cut back to once a day because I thought I was addicted. Should I cut down more or increase? I also used to do it prone but then I stopped. (age 14)

Congratulations on stopping prone. Your frequency is typical for your age. It is also typical to masturbate as often as you were doing when you first started and then to drop down to about once a day. It is completely up to you how often you masturbate. I think your current frequency is just fine.

My masturbation frequency has decreased now. It started right after my fifteenth birthday. Is that OK? I have never had sex before, but I have been wanting to for some time now. If I have sex at my age, would it be advisable to use condoms? (age 15)

Lots of boys masturbate furiously and frequently when they first discover it and reduce their frequency when they get to be 14 or 15. It is advisable to use condoms at any age when you are not sure whether your partner is safe. And how could you know at 15 that they're safe?

I have been masturbating for the past decade, and I always get depressed afterward, and I feel weak, even if I love masturbating and I have to do it. Now I have lost all hope. I know other people with the same problems. Can you help us out? (age 19)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. All the men your age do it. You seem to know this. Don't be depressed. Masturbating doesn't make you weak. It makes you stronger. Instead of losing hope, accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It is something you will always do.

Thank you for your site. It has been really helpful for me. I masturbate only 2 to 3 times a week, and I like to use pornographic images. Recently I have gotten interested in erotic videos. Is it OK to masturbate with them? How often should I masturbate a week? (age 26)

I think that using still images is better than using videos and using your imagination is best of all. That said, most men your age use videos when they masturbate. I hesitate to say it is not OK. Most men your age who are not sexually active masturbate closer to once a day.

If youíre able to pre-cum, are you able to ejaculate? (age 12)

Not necessarily. Most boys are producing pre-cum before they can ejaculate. You can enjoy masturbating to orgasm even if you can't ejaculate yet. I suspect you will be ejaculating soon. Give your body time to develop.

Is oral sex safe? (age 18)

No. You should take the same precautions against STDs for oral sex that you would take having vaginal intercourse. The only way it is safer is that you can't get pregnant that way. Flavored and non-lubricated condoms are available for performing oral sex on a male. Flavored dental dams are available for performing oral sex on a female.

I keep trying to masturbate but I can't. It's weird. A month ago, I was able to masturbate for the first time and it was amazing. I did it for the next three days. But then the fourth day, I couldn't and there was a burning sensation. Then I tried again and the same feeling. I thought it was because I urinated before masturbation. I wasn't able to do it for about a week and a half after that, and then I was finally able to masturbate and have success. It has almost been another 2 weeks and I'm still struggling.

I keep trying to masturbate and I get erect and then when I try to please myself, the erection just goes down. I don't understand and now nothing really pleases me anymore and I have lost most of my confidence in masturbation. (age 15)

Can you rule out a urinary tract infection completely? That's the main cause of burning sensations there. Only a doctor could say for certain that you don't have one. I also wonder if you're using too much force. I would suggest keeping your head populated with arousing thoughts and images to make it easier for you to perform the next time you want to.

I have to urinate every time after I orgasm even though before masturbating I didn't have to. Is there any way to prevent this and is it normal? (age 14)

Plan to urinate before and after you masturbate every time. It is not only normal, it's a sign that your genitals are in good condition and very sensitive to even a little bit of stimulation. Of course, what you've been drinking before your session also makes a difference.

How can I stop masturbation forever? (age 17)

I don't think you can, and you never will. Instead of trying to stop, you should accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It is something you will always do, so be sure to enjoy it!

I wake up every day horny and I can't resist it and I masturbate. Is it OK to wake up horny every day at my age? (age 30)

It is better than OK. Good for you!

I love to masturbate a lot. I masturbate 3 to 4 times a week. I masturbate for 30 minutes to an hour then I ejaculate at the end. Sometimes I have an hour session in the morning without ejaculating and masturbate again at night and ejaculate. Is it OK? It feels very great. 5 to 15 minutes is too little for me. (age 20)

There is nothing wrong with either your frequency or your duration, although most men your age masturbate about once a day and are finished in 20 minutes. Masturbating for an hour and then not ejaculating is very hard on your prostate. Let yourself go!

What should be my average masturbation frequency? (age 15)

Most boys your age masturbate about once a day, sometimes more.

If masturbation is harmless, then how can it become an addiction and cause severe side effects? (age 15)

I agree that it's harmless and don't agree that it can become an addiction and cause severe side effects. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Most males your age do it about once a day. I would not call anyone addicted unless they are doing it many times a day and feel compelled to. Any "side effects" will go away once one's frequency is down to about once a day.

I have started masturbating to erotica, and I am wondering if it is better or maybe worse than porn or pictures. What do you think? (age 13)

You are young enough that you ought to be able to get by with only your imagination. I have to believe that erotica (arousing text) is better than visual aids.

I still masturbate like a young person. I sometimes get concerned. (age 50)

I don't know what it means to masturbate like a young person. Most males who are not sexually active masturbate about once a day, and that can continue into the 50s, at least. Can you tell me what you are concerned about?

I'm a virgin. I'm not sexually attracted to nice girls or their parts, and I cannot get erect from looking at a nude female (photos) or from imagination. I am very aroused by girls urinating. I believe this is a fetish. Is this normal? (age 23)

If we define a fetish as an unusual sexual interest, then by that definition, it is not normal. Yours is called urophilia. I don't think a fetish is so bad as long as it's not the only thing that arouses you. Since you report that you are not aroused by ordinary fantasies, then I suspect your fetish is something for which you should seek professional help.

Is it normal to think of hot girls from your school as you masturbate? Is it OK for teens to look at nude pics as they masturbate? (age 15)

Both of those are absolutely normal. I think it is better at your age to use your imagination instead of nude pics.

I learned about masturbation at age 25 some 4 months ago. I had never masturbated before. I have never had sexual intercourse. Now I masturbate as often as twice a day. I feel my testes are becoming hard as well. What are the health effects of my situation? (age 25)

I am very disinclined to believe you. Most males start masturbating at half your age and are only beginning to reduce their frequency at your age. If you are being truthful, then your situation is so rare that I don't know what it means healthwise. Generally, ejaculating more often is better than ejaculating less often. I would suggest getting checked out by a urologist including a semen analysis.

This question may be weird, but lately I've been watching anime. One of the characters in the one I watch is a teenager past puberty. Because of his status, he is restricted to various activities, such as masturbation, for example. If he's a teenager, he has to masturbate, right? Or are there "tricks" to masturbate without impure thoughts? I'll wait for your answer. (age 15)

He is a cartoon character, so he is not limited by the rules that govern humans and other earthlings. For example, Mickey Mouse has a dog as a pet, but in the real world, no mouse has a dog as a pet. (Minnie Mouse has a pet cat, Figaro. Go figure.) It's not clear from what you wrote if he's restricted TO masturbation or restricted FROM masturbation. If he were a real boy your age, I would expect him to masturbate often and with great pleasure. Don't worry about impure thoughts.

Your site is amazing. Masturbation is the most amazing thing I've experienced. Too bad it is a topic guys are so afraid to admit to or talk about. I usually masturbate once a day but when I have the urge it seems to overwhelm my logic. I usually masturbate in private but sometimes the urge overpowers my ability to wait. This usually happens when there is a change in my daily routine like traveling with my family or if I have not had an orgasm in a while and I think there is a way I can pull it off but it might be risky.

When I am in a hotel room with my siblings, I lie in the dark trying to avoid the urge but eventually convince myself it's worth the risk. I wait what seems like forever until everyone else is asleep. I can do it really slowly under the covers and usually work hard at controlling my climax breathing. I worry about the cleanup problem but I can usually contain the mess in my underwear.

When my family is visiting someone's house and I am bored, I go to a bathroom or empty bedroom and quickly masturbate. I always have a plan to clean up before I start. Each time the excitement and added risk make my penis rock hard and the orgasm INCREDIBLY intense.

In each situation, I know it is a bad time to masturbate. But it's as if the urges are drugs and my rational mind decides it's not a bad idea. After I give in, the orgasm is mind blowing and after I recover, I know it was too risky and that I should definitely resist next time.

Are these irrational urges and risks unusual? It seems my orgasm urges override my risk aversion no matter how hard I try to talk myself out of it. I have never been caught and the orgasms in the risky situations are the most intense I have ever had. (age 15)

You're really thinking too hard. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and as you agree, great fun. It's even necessary for male sexual health. It's normal for a male to want to masturbate daily, especially at your age. But I don't understand why you take a chance on being discovered masturbating where someone might think you shouldn't, when, as you point out, you are able to masturbate to orgasm quickly in a bathroom. You mention sleeping with "siblings." That leads me to think it's both brothers and sisters. Your brothers and elders would probably think nothing of you masturbating in a room with only boys. They might even expect it. But sisters and elders might not be cool with that happening in a room with both boys and girls.

I urge you to enjoy daily masturbation in appropriate places and try harder to come up with a safe plan when you feel the urge to masturbate where it isn't appropriate.

It usually takes me 15-20 minutes to reach orgasm masturbating. how can I lower it? When is it best/easiest to masturbate? (age 14)

There is nothing wrong with taking 15-20 minutes. That is a fun and relaxing amount of time. I suggest you read my page about variety in masturbating for some ideas that might make your sessions more fun and be over sooner. Boys your age are masturbating at all hours of the day and night. I hesitate to say one is better or easier, but most masturbation happens at bedtime, when people have the most privacy and can use the satisfaction of an orgasm to help them sleep.

I was delighted when I somewhat by accident found HealthyStrokes.com. It explained many things I had long wondered about and provided a great deal of useful information. I have masturbated regularly since I was 14 to my present age of 69. I have been happily married with a satisfying sex life for over 45 years. For years, though, I was deeply embarrassed and in genuine shame about secretly enjoying masturbation at my age. I finally had a heart-to-heart talk about it with my wife about 10 years ago. She says, and I believe her, that she has never in her life masturbated. She said she knew that most men enjoyed lots of sex, some of it when alone, and she was fine with my masturbation practices. She has magnificent orgasms when we make love, but I bring them about by stimulating her manually. Itís the only way I can get her to orgasm. Lately I changed over from vaginal intercourse to having her stimulate me manually. Itís heavenly! This has made my solo masturbating all that much more fun and satisfying. Married people should always do what feels good in their sexual relations with each other, realizing that physical love takes on many forms and methods as we age. (age 69)

Thank you for sharing.

I have been masturbating since I was 8. I didn't know until last year that what I do is masturbation when a friend told me that he does it also. I masturbate 2-3 times a week and feel very good when I finish but in all these years I have never ejaculated. Is it possible to "feel good" like I am doing without ejaculation? (age 12)

Yes. Many boys masturbate, even to orgasm, before they are able to ejaculate. It might surprise you that even more pre-pubescent girls masturbate. You will be ejaculating soon.

Is it normal to fantasize about girls I know when masturbating? (age 13)

Yes, very.

Does masturbating make me a bad person? (age 16)

No. Masturbating is simply something that a male does when he reaches puberty. Masturbating is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It is bodily maintenance, like bathing or shaving. It flushes out your sexual fluids and keeps your sexual organs in healthy, functioning condition.

Masturbation has been documented in the male of every species of mammal.

Instead of thinking you're bad for masturbating, learn to accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.

Does masturbating less often cause a male to have more testosterone? (age 17)

No, that is not true. The more testosterone he has, the more he masturbates. One outcome of testosterone is the pitch of a male's voice. Males with more testosterone have lower voices. According to a survey of over 8000 males by the web site HealthyStrokes.com in the first half of 2007, males whose self-appraisal of their own voices was higher than most other males their age had intercourse for the first time at age 19.1. Those who said their voices were lower had intercourse at age 17.9. That's more than a year sooner.

I have been orgasming every single time I masturbate for about a few months now. But I still haven't noticed any changes in my voice yet, while all my friends have been having voice cracks and voice changes. Is something wrong with me? (age 12)

No, nothing is wrong with you. Ejaculation is usually the first thing that happens to a boy in puberty. The voice change happens about 6-8 months later.

I typically masturbate once every couple of days, and I've done so for about seven years. For about a year and a half, I was sexually active with multiple partners, but I have been in a slump for the past year or so. Now when I masturbate, always with porn, I ejaculate very quickly often without achieving orgasm. What could cause this, and how can I fix it? (age 21)

If you're really ejaculating without orgasm (which isn't a fun thing to do) most of the time, you could have a serious problem that needs help from a doctor. On your own, I would suggest masturbating without porn some of the time and seeing how much longer it takes.

I have a friend and we talk all the time and are very open about things like masturbation. She has never tried it before and when I told her that it feels amazing and is supposedly better for females than for males, she said she would try it. One morning she texted me that she had tried it and when I asked her how it went, she said she hated it. I found out that she wasn't aroused or anything and that she went straight for penetration with her finger. I feel like a jerk because I'm kind of pressuring her into it. But in a friendly encouraging way, I told her she should visit HealthyStrokes.com but she won't and I really think she would love it. Am I being a jerk? What should I say so she will try it in an enjoyable way? (male, age 14)

You are not a jerk. The experience of masturbation for a female is not exactly the same as for a male. Just about all the boys your age are doing it often and think it's the best thing they've ever experienced. Many girls your age find it's a tougher learning curve. On top of that, she might be more embarrassed discussing it with you than you are with her. You have already told her what you think will help her. Now you don't need to say anything else about it or ask her anything about it. Maybe she will tell you someday that she has perfected it and does it regularly. More likely she will never say anything about it again, but she'll know you helped her.

Is it OK for me to tell my parents that I masturbate? Would they be angry at me? (age 12)

It is certainly OK for you to tell them, although there is no reason for you to do so. I doubt they'd be angry, but you are the one who knows them.

Instead of masturbating for 30 minutes, is it OK to masturbate for 5 minutes and then five minutes later and so on? (age 13)

It is better if you masturbate to orgasm in one session. That is the best exercise for your prostate. Stopping and starting is taxing for your prostate. You ought not have to worry about prostate trouble at your age; nor should you be developing bad sexual habits that will trouble you later. Most boys your age masturbate to orgasm in five minutes or less.

When I masturbate, should I tug on my foreskin or should I use lube and stroke my penis without pulling on it? (age 13)

A gentle tugging motion is what most males use. I think you would enjoy lube, but at your age, not everyone uses it.

I need 20-30 minutes to orgasm. Is this bad? (age 15)

It's longer than average, but I wouldn't say it's bad. If you want to finish faster, then work on it. Check your time on a clock. Most males your age want to last longer.

What makes sex at my age dangerous OTHER than pregnancy and STDs that could occur at any age? What makes teen sex so harmful? (age 14)

Teen sex is harmful because it can keep you from developing the way you're supposed to. At the very least, it is a distraction from what you're supposed to be doing. At worst, it can lead to unplanned pregnancies and STDs that can affect your entire life. I have no idea why you're being dismissive of pregnancy and STDs. All the more reason you shouldn't be having sex at your age.

I masturbate by stroking my foreskin up and down my penis. Is this normal? (age 15)

Yes, very.

I don't want to watch erotic videos but while masturbating, what should I imagine/think? (age 13)

Most people think about people they've seen recently in person or in media who arouse them and imagine being close to them and possibly doing sexual things.

Is baby oil good for masturbation? I've been using it for a month now and I haven't had any problems, but I just want to make sure that it's OK. (age 19)

Baby oil is fine, but oil-based lubes are usually used by boys just starting out. At your age, most prefer to use water-based lubes and silicon-based lubes. There is nothing wrong with masturbating with baby oil, but when you become sexual with a partner, you can't use an oil-based lube if you're also using latex products such as condoms for protection.

Should I use erotic videos, photos or women in bikinis for masturbation? Can you suggest any site where I could find them? (age 15)

At your age, it is a good idea to use your imagination as much as you can. You are probably surrounded by attractive girls all day long. You are succeeding when you can get by with what you have in your imagination and don't need to seek out visual aids.

Since I get asked this question quite often, I have started making a list of web sites that have rather tame material, showing either females with their private parts covered or only simple nudity with no sex acts. I don't "recommend" these sites but merely suggest them as a suitable alternative to other sites that contain unfettered porn. (Keep in mind that even these tame sites might contain links to porn web sites.)

Iíve started thinking way ahead to when Iím a father. If my child were to ask to see my penis out of curiosity, would that be illegal, or would showing him how to masturbate during a sex talk be illegal? What are the limits in doing that? (age 14)

I hope you won't be a father for quite a long time. Most children see their parents naked simply by happenstance from living together at home. There will probably never be a reason to show him or her specifically. I am in favor of parents telling their children how to masturbate but I draw the line at showing them. I think the limits will become clearer once you have children.

Is there any way to suck your own penis? (age 19)

According to sexologist Wardell Pomeroy, who was co-author on the Kinsey report, only one male in 1000 can do that. Even for them, it is not a usual method of masturbating.

I masturbate looking at photos of girls in my class. I also look at the photos of my best female friends, which makes me feel bad afterward. Is it wrong? Is there any problem if I continue? (age 19)

You are an adult and can access any photos you want. If looking at particular photos and fantasizing is causing a problem, then seek out different photos that don't cause that problem.

What is the most pleasurable type of masturbation? (age 17)

Doing it with a female is especially pleasurable. Take a look at my page about variety in masturbation for ideas.

Why is it that I enjoy jerking off better when I'm shirtless than when I have a shirt on? (age 26)

Maybe you're worried about ejaculating onto your shirt.

Lately I've figured out that when I stimulate my nipples before or during masturbation, it makes it feel a lot better, and so does orgasm. Is this normal? Something tells me it's odd, based off of how little it's talked about in reference to males. Is it weird for nipple stimulation to make masturbation more pleasurable? (age 14)

Some males and females enjoy nipple stimulation and some don't. Some guys enjoy scrotal stimulation and some don't. You've learned that you enjoy nipple stimulation. That gives you another way to increase your pleasure compared to males who don't. Go for it!

I started prone masturbation when I was 15 and practiced it for 7 years. I stopped doing it suddenly one day. From there I started experiencing wet dreams regularly (2-3 week). Should I practice it by hand for a month to see if it makes any difference? (age 27)

I'm not completely understanding the timeline. If you stopped masturbating prone five years ago, how have you been masturbating since then if not by hand? If you want your wet dreams to go away, then masturbate more often.

I have been able, every time, to masturbate without looking at photos or anything. Do you think it would be OK to obtain a swimsuit magazine or photos like that? (age 12)

If you are doing fine without visual aids, I say keep it up until you think they would make a difference. There's nothing wrong with viewing swimsuit magazines.

Do men get wet? (age 12)

Yes. Both males and females produce sexual fluids when they are aroused. Males produce bulbourethral fluid, better known as pre-cum. If a male is aroused for a long time (30 minutes or more) without an orgasm, he is apt to leak bulbourethral fluid.

What is the difference between erectile dysfunction and impotence? Does prone masturbation cause impotence?

I have always distinguished them this way: Erectile dysfunction is any condition in which the penis cannot erect as well as it is supposed to. Impotence is when a man is completely unable to erect. Prone masturbation definitely causes erectile dysfunction.

I've been masturbating for almost 6 years now but only recently started discharging any fluid. It is plentiful but clear. I tend to masturbate 3-4 times per session before I stop, and I have to do it on the toilet at night. I also get very itchy in my groin area afterward. I feel like there is a problem and I cannot tell my parents because they treat me like a child still. I am just frustrated and think something is wrong with me. (age 14)

You seem to have a lot of issues for someone who claims six years' experience. Itchiness is generally caused by getting semen somewhere and not cleaning it up. If you shower daily and wear clean clothes every day, you ought not have this problem. I have no idea what you mean by masturbating 3-4 times per session. You would probably be more comfortable doing it in bed. I'm not sure anything is wrong. I think you mostly need to masturbate in a way that will help you enjoy it more.

I just started masturbating a month ago, only a month and a half away from my 15th birthday, so I'm late I guess. How do I masturbate discreetly? I used to do it in the shower but the semen clumps and sticks to hair and makes it drain slowly. I masturbated in the toilet for a few days but I used coconut oil for lube and it smelled like coconut. I don't understand how people can do it in bed without ruining their sheets. Surely it'll go through a tissue and smell afterward, right? (age 14)

Congratulations on learning something fun and exciting and good for you when you're only 14. With a month of experience, you ought to have a good idea where the semen will go. Once it's landed, most guys clean up with a tissue or an old shirt. You can flush or dispose of the tissue and it won't smell, and you can store the shirt in a drawer. According to surveys done by HealthyStrokes.com, 11 percent of males clean up by eating their semen.

I'm a virgin and I masturbate often. I ejaculate really fast. I'm scared that I won't ever last long in bed. What can I do to prolong my masturbation and last longer? (age 17)

Most males your age are virgins and masturbate often. In intercourse, most males last 1.5 to two times as long as they take to masturbate to orgasm. Just work at slowly increasing your time. If you're lasting two minutes, try to last 2:30, then 3:00, and so on.

How can I explain to my mother that I want a lock on my door so that I can masturbate in my room whenever I want and not only when she sleeps?

She always knocks before she enters my room and does not come in if I tell her to not come in. However, I am uncomfortable masturbating when she is awake.

She works from home from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. so I need to set my alarm to wake up early in the morning to masturbate. (age 16)

Your problem isn't that you don't have a lock but that you are embarrassed about masturbating even though your mother has exemplary respect for your privacy. Work harder to accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. You can certainly ask for a lock on your door without saying anything about masturbating. My siblings and I had locks on our bedroom doors from the time we were 9 and 7.

How do you relate porn and masturbation? (age 18)

Visual aids make masturbation faster and easier. I tend to use the term porn to mean that which shows sex acts. I exclude simple nudity from the definition of porn.

I'm on the anti-depressant Zoloft and it takes for me to masturbate to orgasm. What can I do? (age 14)

Tell your doctor and see if you can get a prescription for a different anti-depressant that doesn't cause sexual side effects. Don't be embarrassed to tell the doctor you masturbate. The doctor knows that nearly all boys your age masturbate, and the doctor masturbates too.

Not a question, just thank you. (age 18)

You're welcome!!!

I have been diagnosed with a condition of recurring anal fissure and I am concerned whether masturbation is the cause of this fissure. I have abstained from masturbation for ages now as I felt masturbation might be the reason for the condition occurring again. I could never ask my doctor due to the stigma. (age 26)

I've never heard of masturbating causing anal fissure. You don't mention whether or not you masturbate anally. Your doctor knows that all men your age masturbate, so there is no stigma. Why don't you tell the doctor what he or she needs to know in order to treat you properly?

Why do I get so much more aroused looking at women in underwear or bikinis than naked? (age 14)

I suspect it is because you like things about those partially-clothed women and it that rather than exposed private parts that arouses you.

I start almost every day masturbating off my morning wood. I have several cats and they seem to associate my grunting and groaning as I orgasm with the next step of feeding them in the morning. So now any time I jack off or have sex with my girlfriend, the cats come swarming because they have an association of the sounds of orgasm with them being fed in the morning. All the cats are fixed so I don't think there is anything sexual about it. They have just formed this association with being fed. (age 39)

You are pretty lucky if you still have morning wood at your age. Have you considered the possibility that maybe your swarming cats are just voyeurs?

Why does it always feel like I have to urinate when I'm close to having an orgasm? It's really annoying. How often should someone my age masturbate? (age 19)

Urinating before your masturbation session will take care of that feeling. Most men your age masturbate about once a day.

I've been masturbating for 12 years two or three times daily. I feel like I'm addicted to masturbating and can't control myself. I am getting married soon. (age 26)

You don't say if you are sexually active with your fiancee. I recommend you cut back to once a day until your wedding, and right before you become sexually active, abstain completely for 3-5 days. Once you are having frequent sex, you are apt to find you don't feel like masturbating much anymore. Or perhaps you will. Deal with it as it happens.

Yesterday I was alone and wanted to masturbate. I went to my pool and started. It was really relaxing and felt amazing. Close to orgasm, I jumped into the water and ejaculated, and it was one of the best orgasms I had ever had. Is this OK? (age 14)

It will not hurt you to do that, but you are not being especially courteous toward other users of the pool. They don't swim in your bed; don't ejaculate in their pool.

How are you qualified to answer our questions about masturbation? (age 15)

I have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality. I have been studying sexuality more than twice as long as you've been alive and have been authoring HealthyStrokes.com since before you were born.

What is it that arouses us after seeing a sexy image? (age 17)

It's all in the brain. Your brain sees a sexy image and sends chemicals to your genitals to get them going. The rest is up to you. (It's kind of like how you can make your mouth water by thinking about biting into a lemon.)

Many times when I am close to ejaculation, my parents or someone else will come in and I have to stop. Afterward, there is pain in my feet. Should I masturbate? (age 15)

I don't think you would stop if I told you to, which I obviously won't. I suggest exercising your feet to make yourself better able to prevent that kind of spasm. I don't know why you can't pick up where you left off once you have privacy.

How much bacteria is in semen for so many people to eat it? What's the chance of getting sick? (age 14)

Most semen is free of bacteria. Even if you have something living in yours, you cannot infect yourself with your own semen. Even if you ate your own semen with bacteria, if would not cause illness because urinary bacteria cannot infect via the digestive system. The danger of bacteria in semen (i.e., sexually transmitted disease) is that you can infect other people by having sex with them.

Is it OK to masturbate to photos of swimsuit models? (age 16)

It is a lot better than OK. It is stupendous!

Would a woman in a bikini rubbing her pubis against a man's penis as a kind of having sex have the same effect as prone masturbation? (age 14)

No. First of all, what you describe is called apposition or grinding, and most people don't do it very much or very often. Secondly, it's not usually done to orgasm. Thirdly, if the woman is in the superior position and is rubbing herself against the man, it is not nearly as great a force as when the man is lying prone and thrusting his penis into or against something. Apposition is most often done as a prelude to some other kind of sexual behavior and it is not at all the same as a male only knowing how to masturbate to orgasm for years or decades by lying prone and thrusting.

Finally, I don't think very many people think of grinding as "having sex."

Is it true that a man can only ejaculate semen 4000 times in his life? (age 15)

No, that is not even close to being true. Most men will ejaculate over 10,000 times in their lives. A man can continue to produce sperm and ejaculate fertile sperm into his 70s, at least. I will not name them, but one can rattle off the names of a dozen celebrity men (rock stars, etc.) who fathered children in their 60s and 70s. Obviously those men of legendary sexual prowess were ejaculating into five figures by then.

A lot of people have mistaken me for gay. They ask if Iím gay and I tell them Iím not but it doesnít change their opinion. I am straight. I even have a girlfriend but all the guys think Iím gay. Iím not into sports. I care about my appearance and I hang out with a bunch of girls.

Iím not homophobic but Iím starting to think if I act ďapparently gayĒ then maybe I am bi. Iím definitely not gay because I am obsessed with girls.

Please help me or give me tips on how to look more straight and stop people asking because Iím sick of explaining Iím not. (age 13)

There is no such thing as "apparently gay." How you dress, what you watch on TV, what music you listen to, who you hang out with -- none of those things make you gay. Being gay or bi is about being attracted to members of the same sex. You assert a strong heterosexual orientation. I doubt that "all the guys" think you're gay. If people are asking, then they must not be sure to begin with. You don't have to be "into sports," but it's not a bad idea to know enough about them to carry on typical trivial-level conversations about the local sports teams, the latest national championship, etc. Why not hang out with some boys too? Acting "apparently gay" does not mean you're bi. Just work on doing what you like with the people you like and do your best to ignore adolescents who pepper you with questions about that which they know nothing.

What is the ideal age to have a girlfriend? My crush asked me at what age I want a girlfriend. Does this mean something? Is it bad that my crush is a month older than me? (age 13)

There is nothing wrong with having a girlfriend at your age. Go for it! If she asked that, then she is probably interested. Go for it! Older girls are divine. Go for it!

I started masturbating at about age 11. I didn't ejaculate until I was 13. Since then I have been masturbating with something pushed in between my legs approximately where the prostate is. I can't masturbate standing and can barely do it sitting. I need pressure there to actually ejaculate. Is this an issue? (age 15)

Yes, it is an issue. Pressing on your perineum (the prostate is an internal organ) is not sexually functional and can actually hurt. Nerves and blood vessels run through the perineum. I would suggest taking a week off from all masturbating and then concentrate on being able to masturbate to orgasm without stimulating your perineum.

When in a healthy supine position I can't get any pleasure or an erection and/or orgasm without locking my knees (usually to the point where it hurts and is tiring). I have tried not locking them and after an extremely long time, I was able to orgasm, but the orgasm came without my ever having an erection. Sitting up, I still need to engage a lot of lower body muscles for an orgasm to come. All of this applies to both masturbation and sex with my partner. Have you heard of this problem before, and if so what tends to be the issue? If not, is it something I should likely speak to a doctor about? (age 20)

Most people stretch their legs out tense during masturbation and intercourse in order to keep sensations from their legs from interfering with their sexual pleasure. It is not generally necessary to lock the knees. I would suggest experimenting with leg positions when you're getting close to orgasm. When you feel you're about to orgasm, move your legs to a different position. Many people also say they have an unusually strong orgasm when they kneel while masturbating. It is also bad for you to masturbate without an erection. You are teaching your body a bad lesson by doing that. Since erections are so frequent at your age, I would suggest getting checked out by a doctor for a more serious condition if you're not able to get this under control on your own.

What's the best hand position for the quickest orgasm? (age 13)

I have no idea why you want the quickest orgasm. The best orgasm is the one you enjoy the most. Having a quick orgasm often translates into premature ejaculation when a male starts having sex with partners. Try different hand positions and see which one you like. Some males stroke with a ring made by the thumb and index fingers. Most prefer to use all of their fingers and to maximize the contact of the heel of the hand against the penis. You are young and should be trying these out, not trying to orgasm as fast as you can.

I masturbate to Internet porn and accidentally stumbled upon some nude photos of a girl who was 10-12. I feel like a pedo and have tried to stop but I keep stumbling back to something similar. What should I do? (age 14)

Delete those photos and either work off your imagination only; view only photos of adult models; or view only photos of models with no private parts showing.

Can prone masturbation cause an STD? (age 20)

No. If you think you have an STD, you should get tested by a doctor.

What feels better, masturbating prone or by hand? (age 18)

By hand, definitely. More than 90 percent of males do it that way. Only a small percentage (less than 10 percent; probably more like 5-7 percent) masturbate prone. Those who switch from prone to hand enjoy hand more than they did prone. I never hear of men learning about prone and wanting to switch to it from conventional hand masturbation.

I have ulcerative colitis and I find it very hard to ejaculate. I have never had an orgasm apart from wet dreams. I take a drug called Pentasa and a probiotic called VSL 3. I am also on a diet called the SCD diet. Is it possible that any of these things affect my ability to have an orgasm? I donít feel anything at all when I rub my penis. What should I do? (age 13)

You are pretty young. Many boys your age are not masturbating yet or have not masturbated to orgasm. If you're having wet dreams, it's a good sign. Make sure you're thinking arousing thoughts whenever you try masturbating. If your problem persists, tell your doctor. He or she knows about the sexual side effects that medicines cause and might be able to prescribe something different. Don't be afraid to tell the doctor you masturbate. The doctor masturbates too.

I have phimosis. Is it OK to masturbate with phimosis or should I stop until it is fixed? (age 14)

Of course you're going to masturbate. No one would expect you to stop. If your foreskin is bothering you, tell your doctor. The solution might have to be circumcision.

Is waking up with a boner considered healthy? (age 12)

Very healthy. Nearly all guys your age do every day. When you get to be 20 or so, you will miss the morning erections you used to have.

I know a girl I really like. I'm wondering if I should tell her I like her or ask her to the next dance as the upcoming one is a Sadie Hawkins. Should I? (age 12)

Traditionally the rule for a Sadie Hawkins is that girls ask boys. But that does not need to be a firm rule. At age 12, probably nearly everyone at that dance will have gone solo (without a date). There is no reason you shouldn't ask the girl you like out to the dance. Go for it! You will be glad you did.

What is the main reason that young boys masturbate? (age 72)

I don't know what you mean by "young boys." If you mean prepubescent boys, it's because they tried touching their genitals at some point and found they enjoyed it and have continued to do it periodically, whether or not they have anything resembling an orgasm. If you mean pubescent boys, it's because their genitals are now able to ejaculate and give them orgasms, and once they've learned that, they will never stop.

I have been masturbating for the past two years and recently I asked a girl in school about female masturbation and she told me all and now I feel weirdly attracted to her and fantasize about her though I don't want to. (age 14)

You should talk to her again to find out if she's interested in going out with you. It might be a good idea not to make reference to masturbation again for a really long time so you can find out what other things you have in common.

I know I am straight as I have had heaps of girlfriends and not once have I ever been attracted to a guy, but when I masturbate, I like to watch gay porn? Is this normal? (age 14)

At 14, normal is very wide. You ought to be figuring out what you like and don't like and what turns you on and what doesn't. I discourage boys your age from watching porn of any kind. You ought to be developing your imagination instead. If you've already decided to use porn, then finding out what kind you like will happen.

I have OCD and feel as though masturbation is dirty and it takes me a long time in the shower to get clean after masturbating. I now do it only once a week to try to stop the anxiety, but I constantly feel as though I am going to ejaculate just walking around. (age 20)

Masturbating is not dirty. It is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. All men your age practice it frequently. Some of them don't even wash their hands afterward. I also think you don't really feel it's dirty, because you say you feel "as though" it's dirty (meaning you know it's not really dirty, get it?)

Masturbating should be something you enjoy and not something to cause you anxiety. Nearly all men your age do it a lot more than once a week. Have you ever tried masturbating with a condom on? Perhaps you could try that and see if it makes you feel less compelled to get in the shower.

Iím a teen and I find it really hard to not masturbate every day. Is this normal? (age 14)

At 14, it is very normal to masturbate every day, and sometimes more than once a day, even if you sometimes don't want to masturbate that often. Within a few years, you will reduce your frequency. That's what happens.

I don't want to get into the habit of masturbating with videos. What are some materials I can use on my personal laptop to masturbate? I love masturbating, and I do it every day. I seem to rub my penis a lot whenever people aren't looking, and at home when I'm alone or hidden. Is this a normal habit? (age 12)

I would advise against keeping any kind of nudity on your personal laptop at your age. You might enjoy swimsuit photos. There are even swimsuit magazines you can by at stores that sell magazines. There is nothing wrong with your non-sexual rubbing. But as you get older, you will only want to stimulate your penis when you are ready to have an orgasm.

Is it OK to masturbate without even taking underwear off or cleaning the aftermath up?

I used to masturbate prone, but I learned from HealthyStrokes.com that it isn't good for me. Had I not found out, I probably would have used prone for the rest of my life. I found out that using your hands are even better. Thank you! (age 13)

It's OK with me. But you're not doing it for me. You're doing it for yourself. I recommend taking your underwear all the way off because it gives you the greatest range of motion. You will enjoy it more when you can move around and not be constrained by shorts around your knees at the critical moment. You're also cleaning up because of how you want to live. You don't want your friends and family members coming into your room and seeing the aftermath all over the place, do you? Congratulations on giving up prone.

I am a Christian and know it is completely fine to masturbate, except it takes a very long time (30 minutes) for me to ejaculate, so I end up looking at pornography. I would prefer not to do this, and I am afraid it would be bad if I was caught watching porn.

A few weeks ago, I was talking to a feminist via email about sexual arousal. My parents found out and were disappointed with me. My parents would be disappointed if they caught me watching porn. Is there anything I can do to solve this?

I know the solution to this is to stop watching porn, but it requires extreme concentration to ejaculate because I cannot imagine naked women very well. (age 14)

I hope you understand why your parents were not in favor of your talking about sexual issues with an adult woman, even in e-mail. I suspect your parents know or could guess correctly that you masturbate and that they don't have a problem with that.

It is not good that it takes you half an hour to masturbate to orgasm at your age, with or without visual aids. Most boys your age can do it in 5-10 minutes, probably faster.

I think the solution might be to find some kind of visual aid that works for you but doesn't cause the shame you're getting from whatever you're using now. Perhaps obtain a swimsuit magazine or swimsuit catalog. A swimsuit site like teengallery.com might also do the job.

This has been bothering me since high school. In the summer between my junior and senior years, an unattractive girl that I didn't know well (or at all) who was two years younger asked me if I masturbate, in front of a few friends of hers (none of whom I knew well, or at all). I was very embarrassed and didn't answer. Then one of the friends said, "she just asked if you masturbate." I was not only embarrassed by the question, I was embarrassed because I masturbated. Then another girl who was in earshot, whom I didn't know well either, but thought was cute, took sympathy on me and told me those kids were just plain immature. Apparently the cute girl was not in favor with those kids either, because one of them said she was a lesbian and I must be gay for talking to her. (She was not, and neither am I.) How should I have handled this differently? (age 23)

I agree wholeheartedly that those kids were immature. They should be embarrassed by their verbal assault on you, and the girl. It is typical when you are 17 to be embarrassed about masturbating. Most males say they felt less embarrassed about it at age 18. First of all, you should realize that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Accepting that makes it easier to decide what to do in your situation. Making the question even less friendly was that all males at that age masturbate, so that by even asking, she was questioning your masculinity. I think most guys would have just walked away from that unfriendly girl. A guy with a lot of nerve would have said, "Yes, I do. Do you have a problem with that?" But of course it is entirely up to you to decide who, if anyone, you discuss masturbating with. I personally think it would be fun to turn the question back onto her by asking, "Do you?" If she says, "I asked you first," say, "Then you answer first." Then no matter what she says, say, "I'm done talking about this."

I also take issue with your describing the girl as unattractive. Would you have found her question less offensive and embarrassing if she were good looking?

If you masturbate prone, does it affect your semen (in color and other ways)? (age 14)

The only thing I've heard is that men who masturbate prone tend to produce a greater volume of ejaculate. That is only a tendency and is not something that has been documented scientifically.

I have a girlfriend. Iím really happy, and we have a good sex life, and I think sheís the most attractive girl of all. Twice I have masturbated while fantasizing about other girls and it is making me feel extremely guilty. Is this normal? (age 15)

You could easily live to be 100, and in the next 85 years, I expect that you will fantasize about thousands of women who aren't your girlfriend. It is completely normal and does not mean that you are cheating on your girlfriend.

However, I am concerned that you "have a good sex life." I hope you are taking precautions against pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and other perils.

I am experienced at masturbation (been doing it for years now), but I've been having problems getting to climax. I've tried porn, every position I could, any practical oil-based solution I could find, but I can't satisfy myself. I can't buy toys. I'm too embarrassed and I'm in the process of learning how to drive. I can't yet go to a store by myself to get one. I am disabled and my mom is not comfortable with letting me walk to a store by myself. I can't buy toys, lube, or have sex, and masturbation doesn't do it for me. I always feel like I'm about to ejaculate but I don't and it's seriously dissatisfying. (age 17)

I'm wondering if you're taking prescription drugs that can cause orgasmic disorder. Anti-depressants (SSRIs) are especially bad for that. If so, I suggest talking to your doctor and finding out if he or she could switch you to a different medication that doesn't cause sexual dysfunctions. You can get water-based lube at nearly any store: Target, CVS, etc. There are even lubes at Walmart and Dollar Tree for $1 or less. I think you would like one a lot.

Recently I was using our family computer and found a folder with some closeups of females masturbating. I thought it was pictures I had saved from a previous porn session (and had forgotten to delete) so I started masturbating to them but as I was scrolling through, I found a couple of images of my sister and realized that they were all pictures she has taken. I feel really guilty masturbating to them. I donít want to tell her Iíve seen them but if I just delete them, sheíll know I did, because my parents donít use this computer. Any suggestions? (age 17)

That is as close to an O. Henry story as anything anyone has ever sent to me. You would be justified in confronting your sister about that. She violated you by leaving those photos where you were apt to encounter them. Tell her those don't belong on the computer you share and that nude selfies should never be posted on the Internet (because that's probably why she put them on the computer).

Is it true that masturbating a lot can deform your buttocks? (age 16)

Next time you're in a locker room, see how many guys have deformed buttocks. You can bet that almost all of them masturbate a lot.

I usually masturbate with moisturizer, but you recommended lube. I have no idea when I could buy it and where I would keep it. I cannot order it online and it would be awkward in a drug store, and I never shop alone.

If I managed to buy it, how would I keep it hidden? All lubes seem pretty easy to tell what they are for, so I have no idea what to do. It would be uncomfortable if my dad lectured me on this topic. (age 14)

You are growing up and will eventually decide you want to masturbate with lube more than you are embarrassed about someone finding out that you masturbate. Both for the added pleasure of using something made especially for masturbation and the cost savings it will bring versus moisturizer. I don't know why you couldn't just put a bottle or tube of lube among the other bottles and tubes you have in your bedroom. Would you really notice this tube of lube in a pile of other tubes?

How do I tell my parents about HealthyStrokes.com without it being awkward? (age 14)

Why do they need to know about it? If you feel you need to tell them, just say there's this web site I've been reading lately and show them the link.

I tried going without masturbation for a few days to increase my sex drive, because I find I don't get many erections anymore. After a few days, I don't get more erections, but I have a need to ejaculate so strong that I cannot concentrate on anything. How can I fix this? I don't masturbate prone and I masturbate about 6-7 times a week. (age 14)

Your frequency is normal for your age. Your problem is not how often you masturbate but that you find your erections inadequate. Very few males your age report erection trouble. I would suggest relaxing and not worrying about your erections so much. If that doesn't work, then you might need to see a doctor, if only to rule out a serious health problem.

Is it normal that I can urinate while erect? Iíve heard that thatís not supposed to happen? Iím worried thereís something wrong with me. (age 16)

You are fine. Your body closes off the urethra to urine immediately before you ejaculate but you can urinate with an erection before that point.

You told someone that masturbating for too long is not good for you. Why is that? I have a very healthy sex life and appetite, but no matter how many times I have mind blowing sex with my girlfriend, I still masturbate once or twice a week for anywhere from 1 to 5 hours, before climaxing and ejaculating. I am able to keep myself from ejaculating for a long time due to a side effect of an anti-depressant I take. What could be the danger of doing this? (age 37)

Your prostate gland likes to ejaculate soon after it ready to do so. Keeping your prostate gland in a state of arousal for 1 to 5 hours is not good for it at all. You're opening the door to sexual trouble by fatiguing your prostate and other private parts for hours at a time.

Is masturbating more than once a day bad and if not, how many times per day is too much? (age 13)

Masturbating more than once a day is fine, especially at your age. At age 13, a lot of boys masturbate more than once a day. By age 16, not very many do.

I masturbate 2 or 3 times a week using handmade sex toys. Is there any disadvantage to using handmade sex toys? Am I normal or abnormal in regard to my masturbation frequency? (age 24)

I don't see what the advantage is to masturbating to homemade sex toys. You might be getting yourself used to an atypical way of masturbating. What's wrong with your hands? Most males your age masturbate more than 2-3 times a week.

Sometimes all I can think about is sex. I recently started sleeping naked. Are these OK? (age 13)

They're OK with me if they're OK with you.

Is it normal to taste my own semen? (age 15)

Yes, more than half of males have done that at least once, and about 11 percent usually clean up that way.

I started masturbating in the shower standing up and my penis seems limp rather than straight. Is this normal? If it isn't normal, how do I help it become straight? (age 13)

It is indeed more difficult to maintain an erection while standing. Lying flat puts gravity on your side. Running water also interferes with erection and arousal. Most guys who masturbate in the shower keep their backs to the running water. I don't think you have a problem. Keep learning what you like.

I just wanted to thank you for HealthyStrokes.com and the wealth of honest, nonjudgemental information. It's helped me come to terms with my own needs and embrace masturbation more fully. I am straight and enjoy regular intercourse but I need to ejaculate often and in different ways and masturbation helps me attain that and sustain that now. We all need to masturbate a lot these days but some, including me, need honest information to allow us to get past our reservations and grab on. (age 27)

Always glad to help.

I am asexual. I also enjoy masturbating and do so daily. However, because I am asexual, I have no real desire to lose my virginity. I saw a question about being a virgin past 21 and read the chapter by Eva Margolies you recommended, but I donít feel that it really addresses the fact that some people donít really want to lose their virginity. (age 14)

It is very premature to declare yourself asexual at 14. Your body is still developing. You might not even be producing a full complement of sexual hormones and other sexual fluids at your age. Also, you report daily masturbation, which is at loggerheads with the notion that you are asexual (i.e., lack sexual attraction). Instead of being so quick to proclaim yourself asexual, why don't you work on developing your sexuality? Instead of deciding you're not attracted to anyone or anything, learn about things that might attract you someday.

It's good to not want to lose your virginity at 14. Give yourself a chance and maybe you'll want to when the time is right.

I am 31 and have been masturbating daily since I was 15. I canít get or maintain erections. I no longer get morning wood. How can I cure my ED?

Start by seeing a doctor to rule out organic causes of erectile dysfunction. The doctor will probably send you to a urologist and/or endocrinologist. One or more of those doctors will take blood and urine tests and possibly do semen analysis.

It is not unusual that you are no longer having frequent morning erections at your age. You ought to be able to achieve daily erections for masturbation and/or intercourse.

Is it safe to use essential oil body wash as lubricant? (age 15)

Anything that can be used on the skin is safe, but I doubt body wash is an effective lubricant.

Since my mom found my Playboy magazines in my room, I don't need to hide them anymore and I now keep them on my nightstand. She told me that she doesn't mind if I keep them in my room. Is it normal that I masturbate more frequently than before? (age 17)

You don't say what your masturbation frequency is, but most guys your age do it 5-9 times a week. That frequency is normal, healthy, and fun.

Is there any difference in the effect of masturbating with erotica and pornography? Sometimes when I masturbate, I feel pain in the area between my belly and my genitals, and I can have a hard time urinating even when I've been flaccid for a while. Is this normal? (age 13)

Most people say that arousal via words (erotica) is better than arousal via pornography. At your age, I think you should use neither and instead work off your imagination. Urinary trouble is highly abnormal at your age. I suggest drinking more water for a few weeks and see if the resulting increased urination takes care of your problems. If not, you might need to see a doctor. The doctor would probably start by analyzing a urine sample.

I first tried to masturbate last year, but I had no idea what to do. My dad never told me anything about masturbation. Recently I found HealthyStrokes.com and a managed to masturbate to orgasm, but I canít ejaculate. If I masturbate for a while, a small amount of clear liquid comes out of my penis. Do you have any tips to reach ejaculation? (age 13)

You might not be producing all the components of semen yet. When the clear liquid comes out, stroke as hard and fast as you can for a few minutes and see if it leads to ejaculation.

I've heard it's more relaxing in bed/lying down, but I'm not sure how I would clean up since now I just ejaculate into the carpet. (age 13)

You seem to have a narrow focus for someone so young. Most guys clean up with tissues or a rag like an old shirt kept on hand for that purpose. You obviously can't ejaculate into your carpet forever. You would find lying in bed much more comfortable and allow you greater range of motion. You'll certainly be having sex sometime after the next presidential election. Enjoy what you can do for now.

Will masturbating first thing in the morning make me less aroused during the day? (age 16)

Your arousal is apt to be less for a few hours after you masturbate. But if you're young, the effect might not last very long and you will be aroused again. Being aroused is good. Why do you want it to be less?

I donít masturbate often, only about once a week. Is that OK or should it be more frequent? I donít do it every day because there is never time when Iím completely alone and Iím afraid of getting caught. (age 14)

Frequent masturbation is good for you. Most boys your age masturbate daily, and you seem to want to do it that often. There is no reason to fear being caught. Your parents already know that nearly all boys your age masturbate. The older you get, the less you have to hide. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It is not something to be ashamed of.

Whenever I masturbate only one hour after my previous ejaculation, the orgasm is painful. This seems to only happen when I do that. Is this normal? (age 13)

Unfortunately, yes. You're straining your sexual parts by masturbating that often. Give your body a chance to recover from your previous session before you start another one.

I'm a virgin (no luck with women). I masturbate to porn daily, but when I miss a day or more, I start having major anxiety. Why does that happen? (age 31)

Masturbating is an excellent anxiety reducer, but you shouldn't having anxiety attacks just because you haven't masturbated lately. You might seek help from a doctor for your anxiety. I would also suggest working on finding sex with women. It's not too late.

What is the difference between hymen and vagina? (age 22)

The vagina is the organ that the penis inserts fully into during intercourse; and it is also where a baby passes through in getting born. The hymen is a thin membrane that partially covers the entrance to the vagina.

Is it OK for me to masturbate using the backhand technique? (age 16)

Yes, fine.

Is it good for cardiac and control of blood pressure by masturbating thrice weekly at 52 years of male? (age 52)

Masturbation is good, healthy exercise. I have never heard anyone say it causes cardiac risk. I have heard that it tends to lower blood pressure. Many men your age masturbate or have sexual intercourse a total of more than three times a week. I say go for it!

Should I participate in no-nut November and destroy dick December? (age 17)

Frequent ejaculation is healthy. Going all of November without ejaculating is no fun and is apt to be bad for you.

I masturbate naked. I do it to be free of clothes and want to see my chest and body. Is it normal to masturbate naked? (age 29)

Yes, very. Most people have an easier time getting aroused that way. Some even do it while watching themselves in a mirror. I call that mirrorbating.

I get massive headaches whenever I masturbate. What do I do about this? (age 18)

I would suggest seeing a doctor to rule a serious health problem. If they are occurring at the back of your head, just above the neck, they are apt to be muscle-tension headaches. Try masturbating in a different position (e.g. sitting, standing) and see if they go away.

I see you tell a lot of people that they are too young to have sex, but I don't know when it is physically not harmful. I'm a teenage boy so naturally I think about sex a lot and want to have it but I understand that I have to wait and not pressure someone else into it. I'm only 14 but I matured pretty quickly. I masturbated for the first time two weeks before my 11th birthday. What is your opinion on a safe age to have sex? (age 14)

The right age for sex is more than just about physical functioning. If you were able to have a firm erection and masturbate to orgasm two weeks before your 11th birthday, then you were physically able to have sex then. A boy or girl is not able to handle the other, emotional aspects of sexuality until later. Plus, there can also be consequences of early sexuality, not the least of which are pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Also, there is something called age of consent which means it can be against the law to have sex below a certain age, which varies from place to place. I always tell people who are not yet 16 that they're too young to have sex. I never tell people 18 or older that they're too young. At ages 16 and 17, some people are ready for sex and some aren't. Only you can decide.

I don't think I have precum. Does everybody have precum? Do I just not make a lot? I have honestly never noticed it. Not even during my first kiss (very recently!!!). Is it normal? If it isn't, is it bad or does it just not affect me? (age 14)

I teach that all males produce pre-cum, which is properly called Cowper's fluid or bulbourethral fluid. The time you're most likely to notice it is when you're very aroused for an extended period of time without engaging in actual penile stimulation. If you're aroused long enough (30 minutes or more), you will notice an actual flow of pre-cum, possibly enough to soak through several layers of clothing.

I've seen a few times you telling people, "you're too old to be a virgin." That is rude and judgmental. Sex is a personal choice, not something someone should do at a certain age, just because they feel they have to. Many people may also have reasons, like no sex until marriage, or maybe they have a history of sexual abuse. It's very insensitive. (age 23)

Would you please read this chapter by Eva Margolies for an understanding of why I believe men should never be virgins over age 21.

I've tried to masturbate using different strokes like just the shaft or just the head but I haven't really been getting any pleasure from it other than a few tingles and I usually become flaccid after a short period of time. I still have wet dreams though. What do I do? (age 14)

Keep trying. Find a thought that really turns you on and have that in your head next time you try.

What's the best way to masturbate for hours without rushing to orgasm? (age 27)

You can have an enjoyable session without stretching it out for hours and without rushing to orgasm. Try a session that lasts 15-20 minutes. That's what many males do. Going for hours is not good for you.

I'm a virgin. I love to masturbate a lot. I masturbate almost every day. What's the difference when you ejaculate from masturbation and from having sex? Which one is more pleasurable? (age 19)

They both feel good. You can better control what happens when you're masturbating and can make it more intense. When having sex, you have to work with your partner and think about her pleasure too.

Is there a way to speed up how quickly you orgasm? (age 16)

Most guys your age want to slow down their orgasms. If you want to speed it up, the best way is to make sure your mind is fully engaged in a sexual fantasy that arouses you. The more turned on you are, the easier it is to bring yourself to orgasm faster.

Is it OK to use lotion instead of lube? (age 18)

Yes, fine. Lotion is a form of lube. My point is that you would probably enjoy a water-based lube made especially for sex than an ordinary household product that contains oil and can be messy.

I am a really weird case. I can't ejaculate or reach orgasm with just my hands. I never could. I've trying to do it my entire adolescence. I had ideas of trying new things, such as an electric shaver (only for the vibration). Is this normal? Should I stop? I'm not getting any injuries. I'm more relaxed now and I can masturbate often. (age 19)

Vibration helps a lot of females reach orgasm, but it doesn't do much for men. I don't think that is your answer. I would suggest abstaining from masturbating for a week (perhaps longer) and then trying to masturbate by hand. It will be easier the longer it's been since your last orgasm.

I had wet dreams during high school. Then I learned masturbation at 15. I did it 2 or 3 times a week. At 19 I only masturbated about once in 15 days. At 20, I started masturbation while watching porn. In my all time masturbating, I used to ejaculate in 2 or 3 minutes. At 21, I met with a girl and tried to have sex but when she touched me, I started leaking pre-cum, and my erection slowed down, and I could not penetrate her. The next time I took Manforce 50 mg, and then I could penetrate her, but I lasted only 30 or 40 seconds after penetration. Now I masturbate only 1 or 2 times a month, and I still have wet dreams. What should I do to fix it so that I can reach ejaculation during real sex? Is it OK to masturbate with porn? (age 23)

You are not masturbating anywhere close to often enough. Most younger guys who are not sexually active masturbate every day. By still having wet dreams at your age, you are proving that you're not masturbating enough. You probably haven't done it often enough to have sexual control. For example, you gave up at your first intercourse when you had pre-cum. That is very normal, and if you had more experience masturbating and being with women, you would know how to handle that moment. 30 or 40 seconds is not ideal, but it is better than not reaching orgasm at all. Keep masturbating and having intercourse and work at being better at both. Most men use images to help them masturbate.

I have an amazing girlfriend who is just like me and I donít want to lose her doing something stupid. Iím having trouble keeping my fantasy life outside of my real life and I do stupid things when I get aroused. Iím worried that Iím going to cross the line with my perfect girlfriend and lose her. (age 14)

You're being pretty vague about what you might do to lose your girlfriend. Are you saying you're going to be sexual with a different girl? Are you worried you're going to say or do something that will alienate your girlfriend? Most people don't expect their relationships at 14 to last very long. Why don't you talk more with your girlfriend about things you should and shouldn't do.

I would just like to thank you for the information you provide. I've been pretty unknowledgeable about sex, because my dad didn't explain it very well to me. I used to get tingling sensations in my genitals when I glanced at women's clothing or a woman swimming and felt like I wanted to play with the area. I also poured body wash on my penis one time when I was young, and it erected like crazy.

A few years ago I stuck my penis into a glove, because it looked like it would feel nice for some reason. I did it for a few minutes before I felt a strong sensation in my pelvis, like I was about to sneeze. Only about 8 months ago did I start masturbating, and I felt awesome. I thought I was the only person in the world who did it, and I would feel guilty when I felt an extremely strong desire to masturbate. This website has really helped me to understand that masturbation is healthy and that all boys do it. (age 14)

You seem to have experienced a lot penis-wise for a young age. Be careful where you stick your penis. Thank you for reading HealthyStrokes.com.

Should I request my parents buy me some lube and do you think I will get it? (age 16)

I don't know your parents. (At least I don't think I do.) What usually happens when you ask for something that costs between 88 cents and $10? Most guys your age would just go out and buy it themselves.

Thank you for your site. I masturbated for the first time today and had an orgasm. It felt great! (age 13)

Hooray! I hope the next 10,000 times also feel great!

I am sick with a cold. Is it OK to masturbate? (age 13)

It is a lot better than OK.

Do lots of people my age masturbate? (age 14)

The boys, almost all of them. The girls, more than half.

I've been reading through HealthyStrokes.com and some things stated as facts are wrong. (age 21)

Why don't you tell me what those are, and we can go from there?

Will my mom be angry or disappointed with me if she finds out I masturbate? What should I do? (age 14)

She probably masturbates herself or used to. She will not be angry or disappointed. She might even be happy that you have healthy sexuality and are keeping your sex organs in healthy functioning condition. She would be more likely to be angry or disappointed if, instead of masturbating, you were using girls for sex.

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.

My friend is very religious and he says that masturbation is bad and he hasn't masturbated for at least 2 years. He says that the only ejaculation he can have is a wet dream and that occurs to him once a month. Can he become underdeveloped in some way? Is there a risk of prostate cancer if he would not be able to have sex for next 5-7 years when he thinks he'll get married? (age 16)

I would have an easier time believing he's never masturbated than that he used to but quit. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. He should masturbate often and enjoy it. Why don't you have him read my page for Christians? The risk of prostate cancer is not an immediate one but long term. Males who masturbate most often when they're young have the least incidence of prostate cancer later. Most men are not married at age 21-23. Why does your friend assume he will be?

Follow-up from another reader: You found it hard to believe that the writer's friend had quit masturbating, but I disagree. When I was 12, I masturbated a few times. Then I stopped for nearly 2 years. I had a lot of wet dreams but I easily stopped masturbating for a while. (age 15)

You had not made masturbation a habit and were able to quit after only a few times. But then after two years, you took it up again and have now made it a daily habit. That is the point at which I have trouble believing a male could quit.

What is the actual way to masturbate supine? You never say. (age 13)

I say frequently. Supine means lying on one's back. The regular way is to lie supine (on one's back) and stroke up and down the penis with one hand. I suggest you read my Young Man's Guide to Masturbation.

I masturbate to this girl in a jeans ad whoís exposing her cleavage and lifting up her shirt. Is it OK to use this, because itís not really extreme or about sex, or should I use my imagination more? The only problem is that when I use my imagination, it doesnít really turn me on. (age 13)

I see nothing wrong with the ad. Work at finding more things you can imagine that will turn you on.

I just had a doctor's appointment and my doctor had a medical student working with him. My doctor asked if my mother and I if I minded her doing the exam as a part of her residency. My mother said it was OK and they told her she needed to remain in the room. So we went into the exam room. The student doctor asked me to stand and take my clothes off. I did so covering my junk. She asked me to lie on the table with my hands on my sides and she checked my belly and groin. I was so nervous being this naked. She then asked me to stand so she could check for a hernia and scoliosis. Her hands felt nice while I was coughing. She then asked me to turn around and touch my toes. She ran her fingers along my spine to my lower back. She then told me to stand up straight and tall. I was so embarrassed. My penis was getting hard and I was literally 2 feet in front of my mother. I tried not to look at her but I could see she was staring at my penis and it was growing. The doctor said good job get dressed. I did and left then room as fast as I could. Do you think my mom realized what happened to me and is it weird that I got turned on in the appointment? (age 14)

It would have been better if your mother hadn't been in the room. It is not unusual that you got aroused by a 20something female medical student examining you. Be glad everything checked out fine.

I used to be able to masturbate for up to 10 minutes, but nowadays I seem to only be able to masturbate for a couple of minutes before I have the urge to ejaculate. How can I prolong the amount of time which I use to masturbate? Does viewing porn have any effect on this? (age 15)

There is nothing wrong with masturbating to orgasm in only a few minutes. Just because you have the urge to ejaculate after two or three minutes doesn't mean you have to. If you're enjoying your session, channel your thoughts away from what is leading to your orgasm but maintain your erection. Stretching things out for a minute or two is apt to be fun. It is more in your control than you think. Viewing visual stimulation is usually done to make masturbation sessions shorter, not longer.

Today I was attempting to draw a simple erotic picture. During drawing I wondered: Do people masturbate to their own erotic art? Does that also cause the bad side effects of masturbating to porn? (age 13)

Yes, people do; and I don't think there's any harm to that. Drawing your own pictures is obviously a greater exercise of your imagination than merely imagining something.

I want to try masturbate with lotion. What part of my penis do I put it on? I'm uncircumcised and can fully retract my foreskin. (age 12)

Don't put it on your penis directly. Put it on your hand and then use your hand as you do.

I masturbate twice a week for about an hour to and hour and 30 minutes. Sometimes I decide to cum and sometimes I don't. If I decide to let go, I shoot lots of cum and it feels great and if I don't, I just enjoy the orgasm. Is it OK if I masturbate and don't cum? (age 29)

That is a bad way to masturbate. Most men and women say the ejaculation at the end is the best part. That is the goal of nearly all sexual activity. You're also taking an extreme amount of time, which is taxing your prostate. Most men masturbate more often than you do and get it over with in 5-15 minutes.

How can I introduce masturbation to my girlfriend? (age 16)

Do you want to talk about it, or do you want her to practice it? If you want to talk about it, just mention that you enjoy masturbating and do it ___ times a week. Then see what she says. You might find out she already practices it, or you might find out she's not even comfortable talking about it. If you're already being sexual together, you might try touching her gently the way she might like it if she did it herself.

Iím very attracted to my girlfriend and donít have trouble when Iím with her. But when I try to masturbate while fantasizing about her I have trouble focusing and getting to orgasm. Are there likely reasons and/or solutions to this? (age 20)

Many people are uncomfortable fantasizing about people they actually know and/or are sexually active with and prefer to fantasize about strangers, celebrities, and people who pose for nude photos. I don't know that there's anything wrong with that. If fantasizing about your girlfriend causes you dissatisfaction, then fantasize about some of the billions of other people.

I came across your site years ago and it helped me come to terms with my own masturbatory needs and embrace it. I'm straight and enjoy intercourse several times a week but masturbation fulfills another part of me and so I need that too. I occasionally masturbate with other guys who share my passion for it. My girlfriends over the years have all masturbated and have all admitted they masturbate with other girls but it's awkward for a guy to admit that so I have kept that part to myself. I wish guys could be as open about masturbation and mutual masturbation an girls. Can you comment on why the disparity and perhaps talk about the changing norms in that area? (age 26)

I have never asked about masturbating with other people on any of the surveys I've done on HealthyStrokes.com. I don't perceieve that many people practice masturbation with friends and random people. Not even many people who are sexually active masturbate together. I even think it's unusual that all of your girlfriends have admitted they masturbate, because in my experience, a large share of women either don't masturbate or don't admit it.

When I masturbate, after 10-15 minutes, my muscles lock up and I don't ejaculate. Is this bad? (age 15)

I have to say that is bad. At your age, you should be masturbating to orgasm quite easily. Try to keep your erection while you get your muscles unlocked, then go back at it.

Each time I masturbate, I seem to last a lot longer than the last time. Is this bad? (age 13)

No, it isn't. Most boys your age seem to reach orgasm too quickly and wish they could last longer.

I am a virgin and unmarried and feel a strong desire to masturbate after 2-3 days without ejaculation but right after ejaculation, my desire goes down and I do not feel any excitement. Why does this happen? Do women also feel the same condition? (age 31)

Yes, that is called the refractory period. Both men and women experience it. But at your age, you should feel the desire again after a few hours. Most virgin men your age masturbate about daily. When you feel that strong desire, why not go out and meet women that you might want to have sex with? You're too old to be a virgin.

I have a lingering pain in my penis from a prolonged masturbation session two weeks ago. Nothing is visibly wrong, but I have a burning discomfort through the shaft and glans, even when flaccid. Erections have been uncomfortable, bordering on painful. I have an appointment with my urologist next week, but Iím terrified Iíve done something permanent. Iíve looked at articles online about ďbroken penisĒ but I really donít think thatís what Iíve done. Is this just a case of being too vigorous and inflaming the tissue? (age 52)

Let me know what the urologist says. Penile fracture is a possibility. If it were mere inflamed tissue, I would think it would be back to normal after two weeks.

Is white hair caused due by masturbation? (age 18)

No. All of the males and nearly all of the females your age masturbate. How many of them have white hair?

I love your web site! I've been masturbating since 11-12, and it felt great then! But now, I don't even get a leg-twitching, face-crunching orgasm. It feels like nothing! Then the second I reach orgasm, 1 or 2 seconds afterward, I ejaculate and then lose ALL feeling! So it's just 1-2 seconds of nothing. (age 14)

I think you might be anticipating having a nothing orgasm and then you get one. Don't expect all orgasms to feel leg-twitching, face-crunching. By definition, most are only average. It might help to masturbate less often than you do now and see if having only three orgasms a week instead of eight helps you have a more enjoyable orgasm.

I have masturbated since I was 15 or 16. I used to masturbate 4-6 days a week, on average, but now I do it 3-5 days a week, and I am a virgin. I want to have kids in the future and I am afraid my sperm will become less fertile. Do I need to cut down on masturbation? (age 20)

No. Masturbation is good for you and your fertility. Frequent ejaculation flushes out the oldest sperm from you and so the newer, better sperm remain. A male is more likely to impregnate a female if he's masturbated recently than if he hasn't. You ought to enjoy frequent masturbation and not worry that it will harm your fertility.

Ever since I started masturbating and being sexual active, I have felt like once I got aroused, I was already to ejeculate. I stopped masturbating because of this and now only ejaculate during sex. I still have the issue of awful premature ejaculation. I don't masturbate because it will affect my erection quality. (age 33)

You have it backward. Masturbating before intercourse is apt to make you last longer in intercourse. Why don't you try masturbating to orgasm a few hours before you next have intercourse?

I masturbate with a flaccid penis by rubbing/pushing it. Is that OK? (age 22)

No, that is bad. Only masturbate when you have a satisfactory erection. Pushing a penis sounds like prone masturbation.

I masturbated once, sometimes twice, a day for a month straight. Does this have negative effects? (age 14)

No. Almost all the boys your age do the same thing.

Iím starting to worry that I can only climax, or even get very excited, if thoughts about one certain girl from my past are involved. Is this possible? Has this happened to people before? Is there a way to overcome it? I really donít want this to be the case.

Itís also possible that I have trouble getting aroused unless itís to something that feels forbidden. Have you heard of this before and people overcoming it? (age 19)

People have been tempted by forbidden fruit since the Garden of Eden. It's better if you can get aroused by other things too. Yes, there are people who can only get aroused by one particular person. It's a problem if she's in your past and not your present. Why not work about finding more girls who can arouse you? There must be billions.

Is humping a pillow prone masturbation?

YES! It might be the most common form of prone masturbation.

I masturbate once a month. Is it OK? (age 16)

I have to say that it isn't. Most males your age masturbate about once a day. The ones who don't do it often do it about three times a week. Once a month is an extremely low frequency. Even males about your age who don't masturbate have wet dreams more often than that. See here to learn the health benefits of frequent masturbation.

I've only masturbated intentionally twice, one when I was 10 years old and the other one a few days ago. I usually get aroused very frequently and I really want to masturbate. However, I'm afraid of ejaculation, since I don't know what measures to take to avoid staining or wetting my underwear or surroundings. What do I do? The last time I masturbated I spilled out some precum, but I don't know if that means I'm not able to ejaculate. (age 13)

Don't be afraid of ejaculating. It will be one of the best experiences you will ever have. Most males only ejaculate about a teaspoonful of semen. With practice, you can control exactly where it goes, and with experience, you won't care if it doesn't go exactly where you want it to. Just have a cloth or tissue for cleaning up handy.

I started masturbating at age 14. Now I am 16 and cannot do it as long as I want to. Sometimes I last only a minute. Is this a medical problem? I masturbate once or twice a week.

Most boys your age masturbate daily. If you do it more often, it is apt to take longer. There is nothing wrong with ejaculating after only a minute or two. If it bothers you, work at lasting 1:30, then 1:45, then 2:00, and so on...

Suppose there are two males the same age, one of whom is masturbating and the other isn't. Which person is likely to get more sexual thoughts overall? (age 19)

I've never asked about "frequency of sexual thoughts" on one of my surveys here. Keep in mind there aren't any men your age who don't masturbate. If you were talking about 13 or 14 year old boys, I would expect the one who masturbates to have more sexual thoughts. Both masturbating and sexual thoughts are good things. I get the feeling you don't think so.

Why is it that I rarely get erections and when I do they are not fully erect? I have to stimulate my penis with my hands and kind of "play with myself" in order to get hard and I then quickly go soft. I resort to just grabbing my foreskin and not shaft in order to get somewhat hard. Why am I not getting fully hard naturally? Please help. This has been ongoing for several months. (age 16)

The problem you describe is typical for a man over 40 but is very rare at your age. I suggest seeing a doctor to rule out a serious physical condition.

I keep fantasizing about women who dominate me in really serious ways. I imagine them blackmailing me, humiliating me, manipulating me, etc. and often I have especially good orgasms this way. Is this unhealthy? Would it be better not to have these fantasies often, and if so how could I get as turned on by other things? (age 18)

Those are common fantasies. There is even a genre of erotica called B&D. It's not unhealthy to fantasize. But it would be good if you can get aroused by other things too, like simple nudity or thoughts of simple intercourse.

Iím trying to masturbate while fantasizing about my girlfriend, but for some reason it wonít work. It works when I fantasize about other women. Iím very attracted to my girlfriend so Iím not sure why this isnít effective. Is this a common thing at all? (age 19)

Yes, it is. Many males feel guilty about fantasizing about people they know. That is one reason fantasizing about women in nude images and celebrities are so popular.

Masturbating feels amazing, but I don't have the urge to do it every day and I'm still a virgin. Is it normal not to masturbate every day? I'm not against it. (age 17)

Most virgins your age masturbate daily, but plenty masturbate less than that. I think you're doing fine.

I'm getting circumcised because my foreskin doesn't retract. Any suggestions? (age 12)

If this has to happen, it's better to get it done now than wait until later. If you're already in the practice of masturbating frequently, ask your doctor if you'll be able to do it after the operation. Don't be afraid to tell the doctor that you masturbate. The doctor masturbates too.

After I masturbate, my penis gets really small. Is it normal? (age 13)

Yes, the smaller the better. That means your penis drained of blood effectively after your orgasm. Congratulations! At your age, you will probably be able to masturbate again in 15 minutes.

I am interested in buying a masturbation sleeve, except I donít want my family knowing. What is a good way to order it without them knowing? Also any tips for hiding it? (age 13)

I would suggest getting better using your hands for a few years before trying a toy. If you really want one, you can buy it with a Visa gift card. A package arriving for you in the mail will be less suspicious if you routinely get packages than if this is the only one all year. If you wrap it in a piece of clothing, it is unlikely anyone will find it.

I enjoy masturbating when I do it, which is about 3 times a week. I'm still a virgin. I feel like I'm wasting sperm when I ejaculate. I'm a weightlifter and I feel like jerking off will have an effect on my growth and size. Help me if im wrong please. (age 29)

You're wrong about many things. You should accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. You are too old to be a virgin. Most virgins your age masturbate daily. Masturbating does not waste sperm; it keeps your semen healthy. Masturbating is good exercise and will not affect your weightlifting. I suggest reading this page about the health benefits of frequent masturbation.

Does masturbating to still pictures of naked females have the same effects as masturbating to video porn? (age 15)

I believe that still pictures are safer because they leave more to your imagination. With video, the story is handed to you.

I just masturbated in the shower and the semen leaves a very strange texture on my skin. I think the best way to describe it is that my skin has gotten less slippery. Is this normal and is there a reason why this would happen? (age 14)

You might have been greasy for some reason and the semen washed some of it off? Might use more soap in the shower (for cleaning).

Does masturbating 2-3 times a day cause prostate cancer? (age 16)

A team of doctors led by Dr. Graham Giles surveyed a group of men with prostate cancer and an age-matched group of men without it and asked them questions about their sexual practices, including how often they ejaculated in various decades of their lives. They found that the men who ejaculated most often when they were younger had the least incidence of prostate cancer later. They reasoned that frequent ejaculation flushes the prostate and keeps it in healthy functioning condition and eliminates chemicals that might cause prostate cancer. Dr. Giles recommends that younger males masturbate at least six times a week. However, 2-3 times a day is an extreme frequency not evaluated by the Giles team's study. Most boys your age do it about once a day.

When I masturbate, usually it takes about 35 minutes to reach orgasm. How can I lower this? (age 18)

Try doing it only when you're really aroused. Focus on bringing yourself to orgasm. If you do that, you should be able to finish in 10 minutes or so.

I discovered HealthyStrokes.com today and have been reading it over. Congrats on making such a remarkable service for so many people. One thing I noticed while reading that concerned me was the age at which I developed seem to be radically different from everyone else. I never masturbated until I was 20. I didn't have much in the way of sex ed, and I didn't know how to do it and honestly wasn't super interested. I didn't have much in the way of sexual dreams or fantasies. I was interested in girls but in purely romantic ways, as opposed to sexual ways. I knew I was different from other guys but I never felt bad about it or anything, until I read over and over that every male starts doing these things way before I did.

I continued to develop late as my life went on. I didn't really get interested in girls in a sexual way until my mid 20's, and I was a virgin until I was 32. I am 42 now and have had sex three times with two partners. I didn't masturbate regularly until I was 22 or so, and now I typically do it 2-3 times a week. All this time I knew I was different but I never felt bad about it until I read your site. Why is it that I am so different?

You might not have anything to worry about, and you are not necessarily very different. You shouldn't feel bad about anything. It is possible your testosterone or other hormones are lower than normal. A doctor could do a blood test to determine that. Your frequency now is within the normal range for a man your age. Work at finding a regular sex partner. It isn't too late!

I jerk off two to three times a week without ejaculating. I just love to masturbate. I enjoy orgasm and I can go for more than an hour. When I feel I'm about to ejaculate, I stop. Is it good to masturbate and not ejaculate at the end? (age 27)

I have said many times that what you're doing is not at all good. You're being unnecessarily hard on your prostate and other sex organs. They want you to ejaculate, and sooner than you are. How do you enjoy orgasm if you're afraid to ejaculate?

How does masturbation impact testosterone levels? Is the impact different when masturbating to pornography? (age 15)

Masturbating or ejaculating in other ways does not affect your testosterone level. However, your testosterone level affects how often you masturbate or seek to ejaculate in other ways. Males with more testosterone ejaculate more frequently.

Sometimes I masturbate by opening the skin of my penis and gently rubbing it with my finger. Is it safe? (age 19)

Breaking skin is never safe. This is how infections start.

Iím in high school and for five years now, Iíve been sure that Iím bi. I want to experiment with another guy so badly. I donít want to have anal sex but Iím really turned on by the idea of masturbating together or sharing hand jobs or oral sex. Is it OK for me to do this at my age? (age 16)

In most places, you have reached the age of consent and can decide what kind of sex you'll have and with whom. I think it would be better for this kind of experimenting to happen with a guy about your same age instead of someone much older or younger.

I havenít masturbated the past 5 days because I have been staying in my brother's room due to renovations. I notice my right testicle has grown about twice its size. It feels great. Is this normal? My left hasnít grown much at all. Iím worried. (age 16)

A testicle will not double in size merely because you haven't ejaculated for five days. If you think something is really wrong, you need to see a doctor. Why don't you try masturbating at your usual frequency (in your brother's room or someplace else) and see if things go back to normal?

Is there any downside to daily masturbation at age 70 and over? (age 70)

No. Frequent masturbation is good for you. It will keep your sex organs in good function. Take a lesson from Ernest Borgnine, who lived to be 95.

When I masturbate, I usually stroke up and down the shaft a couple of times, then firmly and quickly press down on the base of my penis. Is this normal, or should I only stroke the shaft? (age 12)

Nearly all males stroke the shaft and lightly brush the head. The base has no role in this. Pressing firmly on it will also not help. Try to see how little force you need to bring yourself to orgasm. You are young and keep learning.

About 9 months ago I started secretly taking pictures of my crush and keeping them in my phone for when I wanted to masturbate. Yesterday I was showing my younger brother (who is 12) a different pic on my phone when one of my crush pics came up and I quickly moved on to another picture. He asked me who that was but I didnít answer. Do you think he knows what Iím up to? (age 14)

He probably has the idea that you're attracted to that girl, but he probably doesn't know you're using them to masturbate. Why not ask the girl out?

When I masturbate, with porn or other erotic material, I am able to climax within 5-10 minutes. When using only my imagination, climaxing takes 15-45 minutes. Is there any way to speed this up? Is it OK to use still pictures and erotic texts to masturbate, or should I not use them at all? (age 15)

It's completely up to you. I say to be able to get by with only your imagination at least some of the time. You've learned the most important function of visual aids: a timesaver during masturbation. If you can get aroused from still pictures and erotic texts, you're better off than those who can only get aroused from extreme videos.

I love your site. It has really helped me with some questions I had that I was too embarrassed to ask my mom about (since my dad left). (age 15)


Is it OK if I get my own semen in my mouth? Can I use my saliva as a lube to make my penis more slippery? (age 13)

Those are both OK.

Many sources that I found online all state that at my age, I should be waking up with morning wood every morning and that it will last for a while after waking up, but itís not the case for me. I used to have them frequently but now I only have them seldom. Is there something wrong with me? I heard itís an effect of porn. Could it also be because I wake up very early in the mornings? (age 15)

Morning erections decline after age 18. If you can erect when you want to, it is not a problem that you are not waking up erect. I recommend using less porn generally. Your time of waking does not matter.

What's the most guys have ever masturbated in one day? (age 14)

I asked over 10,000 people that very question in a survey once. Here is the result from 8479 males. The most common answer was four. The median answer was five. The average was 5.66.

Should I masturbate when I am home alone? (age 12)

If that's the best time for you to get to know yourself. Once you've started, you'll want to do it also when other people are home.

If I masturbate and get orgasm, my erection depletes and nothing happens. Around 5 minutes later, a clear sticky fluid comes out of my penis in waves and in small amounts.Iím concerned. (age 12)

It is normal for your erection to go detumescent immediately after your orgasm. The liquid that comes out afterward is semen that didn't get ejaculated. Nothing is wrong.

How much should someone my age masturbate? I do it every day and sometimes twice a day. I heard that doing it too much can numb your penis. Is that true? (age 18)

Your frequency is just fine. Masturbating frequently will not numb your penis, although the penis will be more sensitive after a few days with no friction.

I have typically masturbated while thrusting into a blanket while sitting up similar to the doggy style position. (age 15)

That is prone masturbation, and it is bad for you. I urge you to give that up.

Will applying turmeric or aloe vera gel on the glans penis cause any problems? I need to get rid of an infection. Do you know any home remedies to do so apart from going to the doctor? (age 14)

If you really have an infection on your penis, you need to go to the doctor. The doctor knows how to diagnose and treat that infection. It is one of the most sensitive parts of your body, and you want to be able to keep having fun with it for another 80 or 90 years. I doubt aloe vera gel would do any harm, and I doubt turmeric would feel good there. Neither will cure an infection.

I think Iím bisexual, but I donít really get turned on by girls that much. It happens occasionally but I get easily turned on by guys. Recently, Iíve stopped masturbating to gay porn and have switched to videos of girls only. It works and I can masturbate without thinking about guys. But it somehow doesnít feel right. Is it possible for me to get accustomed to masturbating to girls? I have also switched to jerking off with my left hand instead of right. I hope that it somehow tricks my mind into getting turned on by girls only. I just wanted to know if that is really possible? (age 15)

You report having mixed feelings. You say you don't really get turned on by girls but are able to masturbate with female images. It's good to be turned on by more than one thing and to masturbate to more than one kind of image. It's also good to be able to masturbate with either hand. I think you ought to find out where your sexual interests lie and not try to force something that doesn't work for you.

Whenever I look at a hot girl, something like thick water starts coming out of my penis. It's not ejaculate. Is it the symptom of something dysfunctional? (age 19)

You are about seven years too old to ask that. You ought to be familiar with pre-cum, or Cowper's fluid, by now. It is produced when you're aroused in anticipation of your having intercourse or a different kind of orgasm.

Is it bad to jerk off 5 times in one day, but regularly 2 times a day? (age 14)

Twice a day is not an unusual frequency at your age. I suspect by the time you're 16 or 17, you'll be down to once a day, or maybe 6-10 times a week. For most males, five times is the absolute most they've ever done it in one day, and that was probably only one day for them.

Lately my semen is thick and stringy and almost has the consistency of Jell-O. It's got a yellowish tint to it. It used to be more white and more like a liquid. Is there something wrong? I don't want to tell my doctor or anything. (age 15)

I hope you would tell your doctor if you thought something was wrong. From what you report, you haven't been ejaculating often enough lately. Try ejaculating at least 4-5 times a week and see if your semen gets more like a white liquid.

I read that teenagers around my age are supposed to wake up with an erection every morning. Iím not getting one every morning and only get them rarely. Is there something wrong with me? Is there a way to have them more often? I used to have them more when I was younger. (age 15)

You're right about how it is for 15-year-old boys. Erections decline starting at about age 18. You seem much too young for that. I would suggest getting the doctor to check your testosterone level.

Can masturbation be a cause of lower back pain or knee stiffness or joint stiffness? (age 19)

Anything you do can cause those things. I think masturbation would be good for knee or joint stiffness (it's exercise), but unfortunately, yes, masturbation can cause lower back pain.

My girlfriend gave me a handjob and I ejaculated and then I fingered her about 15-20 minutes later. Iím worried I might have gotten sperm on my hand and then fingered her but Iíve read that sperm dies after 2 minutes outside of the body. If so what are the odds of her getting pregnant. (age 16)

If she gets pregnant, 100 percent. Sperm can live longer than two minutes. That was not safe to finger her with semen on your fingers, even 15-20 minutes later. Always wash your hands before fingering her.

I have heard that masturbation affects your brain and memory and might lead to hair loss. I masturbate 8 or 9 times a week. How much of this is true? My hair loss has increased. Is this because of masturbation? (age 24)

If masturbation has any effect on your brain or memory, it is good for them. It is good for your body to be kept in good physical condition, which masturbating helps provide. Hair loss is genetic. If you don't have the gene for baldness, then you won't go bald. If you have it, there are treatments like Minoxidil that can help you keep your hair. Masturbation doesn't cause hair loss, but they aren't completely unrelated. Hair loss is accelerated by testosterone. You seem to have a lot of testosterone, which is why you masturbate more than once a day. Guys with more testosterone masturbate and have sex more and also lose their hair faster, if they have the gene to do so. I suggest you check out treatments for hair loss, like Minoxidil, and enjoy masturbating while you do so.

I want to masturbate with my friend but how do I ask him if he wants to? (age 14)

I really think it's better if you don't.

I masturbate weirdly. I place my penis on top of my thighs and press on my shaft. Is this prone masturbation? (age 14)

That is not prone masturbation, but as you point out, it is weird. Masturbating like that will not make it easy for you to reach orgasm in other ways, like inside a partner. Males who masturbate by stroking gently up and down the penis have the best success in sexual intercourse. I suggest you stop the shaft-pressing thing.

Can I masturbate prone if I use a toy vagina with lots of lube? Or will my penis still get damaged somehow? How does doing it prone damage the penis? (age 25)

The damage caused by prone masturbation is not usually to the penis itself but in your head. A male who masturbates prone gets too accustomed to the tremendous force that prone masturbation delivers. The force of the gentle stroking action of regular masturbation is more similar to force of thrusting in and out of a partner's vagina than prone is.

When I masturbate in bed, I put a towel underneath myself so when I ejaculate, I get no stains on the sheets. Is it OK to put the towel back on the radiator to use after a shower or to ejaculate again? (age 13)

I would use a separate towel for that, but it really doesn't matter.

I'm wondering if I can start masturbating at my age or if I have to wait until I'm older. It would be mortifying to ask that of my parents. (age 12)

More boys start masturbating at age 12 than any other age. There is no reason to ask your parents.

A few days ago, I masturbated 3 times. I usually have a large volume of semen when I ejaculate but since that day, my semen volume has dropped. Instead of 3-4 squirts, I now have only 1-2 squirts. Sometimes there are no squirts and it just oozes out. (age 15)

You didn't hurt anything by masturbating three times one day. You never measured your semen volume accurately. Don't worry about that and instead enjoy yourself.

I masturbate by hand almost every day but occasionally I masturbate prone. Should I stop? (age 16)

Yes. Masturbating prone will do you no good and will probably cause problems. It's not worth the risk.

Iíve been masturbating since I was 13. I still manage to get a good stiff erection just thinking about sex, using porn and fingering my penis. I still masturbate, have pleasurable orgasms and ejaculate semen. (age 66)

Thank you for your inspiring report.

Recently, I woke up in the middle of the night and didnít go back to sleep, so I ended up masturbating to erotica and a porn videos online. I noticed that while I was masturbating, my erection was weaker than it usually was and my penis wasnít as hard. It would start to become flaccid if I stopped stroking the foreskin. I am worried. Is this because I have been masturbating to too much porn and that I am starting to suffer from ED, which I heard is a side-effect of viewing porn? Or is it because I was masturbating having woken up in the middle of the night and was just quite tired? I have been viewing porn videos since I was 11 and I recently noticed that some porn videos and erotica donít excite me as much anymore. If I am suffering from the side-effects of porn, are there any ways to remedy them? Thank you! (age 15)

Nearly all men can tell of waking up early and masturbating to help them get back to sleep. You give a lot of reasons why I urge younger readers to use their imaginations instead of porn. You are pretty young to find that some videos don't excite you anymore. I would urge you to make it a priority to be able to reach orgasm using only your imagination and only using videos occasionally.

Is it true that if I always shower with hot water, I will suffer from low sperm count in the future as my testicles will be unable to produce as much sperm? Does showering with hot water also boost penile growth? (age 15)

I've heard it said that men having semen analysis should avoid bathing in hot water or hot tubs before producing their sample, but I've never heard that about shower water. Shower water only flows down the body, you know. It's not the same as soaking in it. Showering with hot water or cold water will make no difference in your penile growth.

Are videos of people masturbating considered porn, even if they are people of the same gender masturbating? (age 16)

Masturbating is a sex act, and a video of it is considered to be porn, regardless of the gender of the people in it.

Is it normal for me to get an erection as often at 20 as it was going through puberty? I'm a college student and I am always getting an erection, sometimes a couple minutes before the lecture is over and we leave class.

I usually wear shorts or sweats but even with jeans, my erection is still noticeable. I don't know what I can do to hide it. I wear boxers but usually my penis works its way out of the fly, or if the fly is off to the side, it just points out. Not only do I have the erection problem, sometimes I have a noticeable precum spot on my pants if they are lighter colored, like light gray sweats. If I wear tighter jeans, I get an erection and it just hurts because I have no room.

It's awkward having to get up and carry my bag in front of my crotch until my erection goes down. The last time I did that I dropped my bag by accident and my erection was there for everyone to see. Nobody said anything but it was very awkward.

Sometimes I'll masturbate before class but I still get an erection. Other times I will go to the restroom to do the deed, but I hate doing that because I like to masturbate in complete privacy even though I'm in a stall, so it takes longer for me than usual to reach orgasm if I do that. (age 20)

Erections are good. You should enjoy them and be glad you're having them frequently. You shouldn't will them away or be ashamed of them. You don't need to masturbate every time you get an erection.

I would suggest switching from boxers to briefs. It is a lot harder for an erection to poke through briefs. I promise no one is looking to spot your erection or your precum spot. Instead of holding a bag in front of yourself, why not drape a jacket of your arm. It's less awkward.

What is the average age for a male to lose virginity? (age 14)

Age 18.

I'd like to thank you for helping me learn about masturbation. I had my first orgasm today. I had been masturbating for a couple of minutes. I felt my penile muscle tension increase and a wake of a cold amazing feeling over my body, then my semen lightly dripped out, which I was fine with because it felt AMAZING. Are there any web sites that aren't like porn that are milder, and just clothed/naked woman? Thank you for teaching me to discover masturbation. (age 14)

Congratulations. I think you would enjoy teengallery.com.

I've been reading your site for a while now and I think it's really good. I've been masturbating since I was in eighth grade. I was really thrilled by it and started doing it a lot. I'm gay so I used to receive lots of sexual stimulation from TV commercials and also from gay porn. Also, I am in a boys' school so whenever I saw shirtless guys in the sports field, I used to get turned on. I think I got addicted to masturbation and started doing it on a daily basis. I used to do it 2-3 times a day, sometimes even more. There were times when my parents would be asleep and I would be jerking off to some tv ads on the couch. I would masturbate very roughly through my pants. I have stopped the rough masturbation now and I use oil as lube. That has also stopped the pain and my sex drive has increased as well. I also have a greenish layer around my penis opening. I don't know what it is. I'm scared that it might be an STD, but I've never had sexual contact with anyone. (age 15)

Masturbation is not an addiction. Your frequency is somewhat high. I recommend seeing a doctor to examine your penis for possible infection. There are other kinds of infections besides STDs, you know. I also think you would enjoy water-based lube more than oil-based.

I've masturbated many times, but I don't think I've ever orgasmed. After doing it for a few minutes, my penis always feels numb, and it gets slightly painful after a while, and it feels good, but I think I'd know if I had an orgasm. Maybe I actually have, but I'm not sure. Nothing's ever come out. (age 14)

If you don't think you've had an orgasm, then you haven't. You would know. At your age, you ought to be able to ejaculate. If you aren't ejaculating by age 15, see a doctor. Masturbating should not make your penis feel numb or painful. Use less force.

Someone said is it possible to masturbate with just the glans. I can only get satisfaction from the glans, and none from the shaft. Is this normal and OK? I used to prone masturbate, but not anymore. (age 14)

You should enjoy stroking the shaft, and most males do, and unless they're using lube, they only brush lightly against the glans, or more specifically, the coronal ridge (the widest part of the penis). Spend some time working on the shaft and learning to enjoy the feelings you get from stroking it.

I have been masturbating once a day for a few months now, and my penis hurts afterward for a few hours. Is that normal? (age 12)

No, not at all. You're using too much force. Try to see how little force you can use and still bring yourself to orgasm.

I masturbate sometimes in a condom, and wash it every time. Should I only use it once, or re-use it after washing it? (age 13)

Modern condoms are designed to be used only once. After one use, it is no longer safe to use as a contraceptive or for the prevention of disease. I doubt you'll hurt yourself by masturbating with a reused one, but I won't say it's impossible. There could be bacteria living in a washed condom.

I was circumcised 2 days ago because of my phimosis. I forgot to ask my doctor about masturbating, although my penis hurts when ANYTHING touches the unbandaged part, so I wouldn't be doing it anyway. But it's starting to kill me. I used to masturbate every day and I had my first wet dream ever last night. I don't know what to do. (age 13)

I have no idea why you can't ask your doctor now or at a follow-up visit.

Follow-up: The doctor said I have to keep my hands off it for 4-6 weeks. I don't know if I can go that long.

The doctor has obviously dealt with this situation before. Ask him if he has any suggestions. In the meantime, learn to enjoy your wet dreams.

I suggest you insert a table which consists of age group and the recommended frequency of masturbation. (age 15)

age group
recommended frequency of ejaculation
0-puberty
not necessary
puberty-39
six times per week
40-49
five times per week
50+
four times per week

Will masturbating benefit me later in life? Is it OK to do it at a very young age? (age 14)

Yes. I predict masturbating will benefit you every day or close to it for the next few decades of your life. It is OK to do it at any age, and you're already past a very young age. You're past the age most males start masturbating.

The skin of the scrotum, dartos, usually becomes darker, a reddish brown, when a boy starts producing testosterone at pubertal levels. This process also occurs in girls and leads to the darkening of their labia. You have an outstanding site, which has a great deal of factual information for teens. (age 63, medical doctor)

Thank you for that information. I will add it to the puberty page, but I don't think many boys notice the color of their scrotum before puberty.

I asked my friend (who is also 15, like me) about his masturbation frequency and he said that he masturbates 2-3 times a week. I told him that is too low. I said I masturbate once a day and said, ďbro, I thought that you were innocent but you masturbate?Ē How do I tell him that he should masturbate more often? (age 15)

I think you did by telling him you masturbate once a day. Perhaps you could suggest he read HealthyStrokes.com too, where I point out on nearly every page that frequent masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.

I don't want to be gay, but when I masturbate, I sometimes picture myself with other boys. I hate it when I accidentally think about one of my friends or classmates, and it discourages me from masturbating. What is a good way of turning yourself on without doing letting your imagination run wild? (age 13)

Just because you have occasional fantasies about other males doesn't mean you're gay. You said you "sometimes" fantasize about boys. What about the rest of the time? Even if you are gay, that's not something bad. It's just the way some people are. Instead of restricting your imagination, let it run even more wild. That's how you'll learn what really turns you on.

This page updated October 19, 2020.

Older questions from males

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If the question you asked isn't answered here, it might be on the Page of questions and comments about prone masturbation

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masterbate masterbated masterbating masterbation masturbator masturbators masterbaters beat jack off jacking off jacked off jerk off jerking off jerked off play plays played playing with himself myself yourself can't cum inside her can't come during sex from a blow job a hand job

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