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Reader questions about masturbation
THE NEWEST QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS NOW APPEAR AT THE TOP OF THIS PAGE FOR THE BENEFIT OF READERS USING MOBILE DEVICES
I don't want to get into the habit of masturbating with videos. What are some materials I can use on my personal laptop to masturbate? I love masturbating, and I do it every day. I seem to rub my penis a lot whenever people aren't looking, and at home when I'm alone or hidden. Is this a normal habit? (age 12)
I would advise against keeping any kind of nudity on your personal laptop at your age. You might enjoy swimsuit photos. There are even swimsuit magazines you can by at stores that sell magazines. There is nothing wrong with your non-sexual rubbing. But as you get older, you will only want to stimulate your penis when you are ready to have an orgasm.
Is it OK to masturbate without even taking underwear off or cleaning the aftermath up?
I used to masturbate prone, but I learned from HealthyStrokes.com that it isn't good for me. Had I not found out, I probably would have used prone for the rest of my life. I found out that using your hands are even better. Thank you! (age 13)
It's OK with me. But you're not doing it for me. You're doing it for yourself. I recommend taking your underwear all the way off because it gives you the greatest range of motion. You will enjoy it more when you can move around and not be constrained by shorts around your knees at the critical moment. You're also cleaning up because of how you want to live. You don't want your friends and family members coming into your room and seeing the aftermath all over the place, do you? Congratulations on giving up prone.
I am a Christian and know it is completely fine to masturbate, except it takes a very long time (30 minutes) for me to ejaculate, so I end up looking at pornography. I would prefer not to do this, and I am afraid it would be bad if I was caught watching porn.
A few weeks ago, I was talking to a feminist via email about sexual arousal. My parents found out and were disappointed with me. My parents would be disappointed if they caught me watching porn. Is there anything I can do to solve this?
I know the solution to this is to stop watching porn, but it requires extreme concentration to ejaculate because I cannot imagine naked women very well. (age 14)
I hope you understand why your parents were not in favor of your talking about sexual issues with an adult woman, even in e-mail. I suspect your parents know or could guess correctly that you masturbate and that they don't have a problem with that.
It is not good that it takes you half an hour to masturbate to orgasm at your age, with or without visual aids. Most boys your age can do it in 5-10 minutes, probably faster.
I think the solution might be to find some kind of visual aid that works for you but doesn't cause the shame you're getting from whatever you're using now. Perhaps obtain a swimsuit magazine or swimsuit catalog. A swimsuit site like teengallery.com might also do the job.
If you masturbate prone, does it affect your semen (in color and other ways)? (age 14)
The only thing I've heard is that men who masturbate prone tend to produce a greater volume of ejaculate. That is only a tendency and is not something that has been documented scientifically.
I have a girlfriend. Iím really happy, and we have a good sex life, and I think sheís the most attractive girl of all. Twice I have masturbated while fantasizing about other girls and it is making me feel extremely guilty. Is this normal? (age 15)
You could easily live to be 100, and in the next 85 years, I expect that you will fantasize about thousands of women who aren't your girlfriend. It is completely normal and does not mean that you are cheating on your girlfriend.
However, I am concerned that you "have a good sex life." I hope you are taking precautions against pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and other perils.
I am experienced at masturbation (been doing it for years now), but I've been having problems getting to climax. I've tried porn, every position I could, any practical oil-based solution I could find, but I can't satisfy myself. I can't buy toys. I'm too embarrassed and I'm in the process of learning how to drive. I can't yet go to a store by myself to get one. I am disabled and my mom is not comfortable with letting me walk to a store by myself. I can't buy toys, lube, or have sex, and masturbation doesn't do it for me. I always feel like I'm about to ejaculate but I don't and it's seriously dissatisfying. (age 17)
I'm wondering if you're taking prescription drugs that can cause orgasmic disorder. Anti-depressants (SSRIs) are especially bad for that. If so, I suggest talking to your doctor and finding out if he or she could switch you to a different medication that doesn't cause sexual dysfunctions. You can get water-based lube at nearly any store: Target, CVS, etc. There are even lubes at Walmart and Dollar Tree for $1 or less. I think you would like one a lot.
Recently I was using our family computer and found a folder with some closeups of females masturbating. I thought it was pictures I had saved from a previous porn session (and had forgotten to delete) so I started masturbating to them but as I was scrolling through, I found a couple of images of my sister and realized that they were all pictures she has taken. I feel really guilty masturbating to them. I donít want to tell her Iíve seen them but if I just delete them, sheíll know I did, because my parents donít use this computer. Any suggestions? (age 17)
That is as close to an O. Henry story as anything anyone has ever sent to me. You would be justified in confronting your sister about that. She violated you by leaving those photos where you were apt to encounter them. Tell her those don't belong on the computer you share and that nude selfies should never be posted on the Internet (because that's probably why she put them on the computer).
Is it true that masturbating a lot can deform your buttocks? (age 16)
Next time you're in a locker room, see how many guys have deformed buttocks. You can bet that almost all of them masturbate a lot.
I usually masturbate with moisturizer, but you recommended lube. I have no idea when I could buy it and where I would keep it. I cannot order it online and it would be awkward in a drug store, and I never shop alone.
If I managed to buy it, how would I keep it hidden? All lubes seem pretty easy to tell what they are for, so I have no idea what to do. It would be uncomfortable if my dad lectured me on this topic. (age 14)
You are growing up and will eventually decide you want to masturbate with lube more than you are embarrassed about someone finding out that you masturbate. Both for the added pleasure of using something made especially for masturbation and the cost savings it will bring versus moisturizer. I don't know why you couldn't just put a bottle or tube of lube among the other bottles and tubes you have in your bedroom. Would you really notice this tube of lube in a pile of other tubes?
How do I tell my parents about HealthyStrokes.com without it being awkward? (age 14)
Why do they need to know about it? If you feel you need to tell them, just say there's this web site I've been reading lately and show them the link.
I tried going without masturbation for a few days to increase my sex drive, because I find I don't get many erections anymore. After a few days, I don't get more erections, but I have a need to ejaculate so strong that I cannot concentrate on anything. How can I fix this? I don't masturbate prone and I masturbate about 6-7 times a week. (age 14)
Your frequency is normal for your age. Your problem is not how often you masturbate but that you find your erections inadequate. Very few males your age report erection trouble. I would suggest relaxing and not worrying about your erections so much. If that doesn't work, then you might need to see a doctor, if only to rule out a serious health problem.
Is it normal that I can urinate while erect? Iíve heard that thatís not supposed to happen? Iím worried thereís something wrong with me. (age 16)
You are fine. Your body closes off the urethra to urine immediately before you ejaculate but you can urinate with an erection before that point.
You told someone that masturbating for too long is not good for you. Why is that? I have a very healthy sex life and appetite, but no matter how many times I have mind blowing sex with my girlfriend, I still masturbate once or twice a week for anywhere from 1 to 5 hours, before climaxing and ejaculating. I am able to keep myself from ejaculating for a long time due to a side effect of an anti-depressant I take. What could be the danger of doing this? (age 37)
Your prostate gland likes to ejaculate soon after it ready to do so. Keeping your prostate gland in a state of arousal for 1 to 5 hours is not good for it at all. You're opening the door to sexual trouble by fatiguing your prostate and other private parts for hours at a time.
Is masturbating more than once a day bad and if not, how many times per day is too much? (age 13)
Masturbating more than once a day is fine, especially at your age. At age 13, a lot of boys masturbate more than once a day. By age 16, not very many do.
I masturbate 2 or 3 times a week using handmade sex toys. Is there any disadvantage to using handmade sex toys? Am I normal or abnormal in regard to my masturbation frequency? (age 24)
I don't see what the advantage is to masturbating to homemade sex toys. You might be getting yourself used to an atypical way of masturbating. What's wrong with your hands? Most males your age masturbate more than 2-3 times a week.
Sometimes all I can think about is sex. I recently started sleeping naked. Are these OK? (age 13)
They're OK with me if they're OK with you.
Is it normal to taste my own semen? (age 15)
Yes, more than half of males have done that at least once, and about 11 percent usually clean up that way.
I started masturbating in the shower standing up and my penis seems limp rather than straight. Is this normal? If it isn't normal, how do I help it become straight? (age 13)
It is indeed more difficult to maintain an erection while standing. Lying flat puts gravity on your side. Running water also interferes with erection and arousal. Most guys who masturbate in the shower keep their backs to the running water. I don't think you have a problem. Keep learning what you like.
I just wanted to thank you for HealthyStrokes.com and the wealth of honest, nonjudgemental information. It's helped me come to terms with my own needs and embrace masturbation more fully. I am straight and enjoy regular intercourse but I need to ejaculate often and in different ways and masturbation helps me attain that and sustain that now. We all need to masturbate a lot these days but some, including me, need honest information to allow us to get past our reservations and grab on. (age 27)
Always glad to help.
I am asexual. I also enjoy masturbating and do so daily. However, because I am asexual, I have no real desire to lose my virginity. I saw a question about being a virgin past 21 and read the chapter by Eva Margolies you recommended, but I donít feel that it really addresses the fact that some people donít really want to lose their virginity. (age 14)
It is very premature to declare yourself asexual at 14. Your body is still developing. You might not even be producing a full complement of sexual hormones and other sexual fluids at your age. Also, you report daily masturbation, which is at loggerheads with the notion that you are asexual (i.e., lack sexual attraction). Instead of being so quick to proclaim yourself asexual, why don't you work on developing your sexuality? Instead of deciding you're not attracted to anyone or anything, learn about things that might attract you someday.
It's good to not want to lose your virginity at 14. Give yourself a chance and maybe you'll want to when the time is right.
I am 31 and have been masturbating daily since I was 15. I canít get or maintain erections. I no longer get morning wood. How can I cure my ED?
Start by seeing a doctor to rule out organic causes of erectile dysfunction. The doctor will probably send you to a urologist and/or endocrinologist. One or more of those doctors will take blood and urine tests and possibly do semen analysis.
It is not unusual that you are no longer having frequent morning erections at your age. You ought to be able to achieve daily erections for masturbation and/or intercourse.
Is it safe to use essential oil body wash as lubricant? (age 15)
Anything that can be used on the skin is safe, but I doubt body wash is an effective lubricant.
Since my mom found my Playboy magazines in my room, I don't need to hide them anymore and I now keep them on my nightstand. She told me that she doesn't mind if I keep them in my room. Is it normal that I masturbate more frequently than before? (age 17)
You don't say what your masturbation frequency is, but most guys your age do it 5-9 times a week. That frequency is normal, healthy, and fun.
Is there any difference in the effect of masturbating with erotica and pornography? Sometimes when I masturbate, I feel pain in the area between my belly and my genitals, and I can have a hard time urinating even when I've been flaccid for a while. Is this normal? (age 13)
Most people say that arousal via words (erotica) is better than arousal via pornography. At your age, I think you should use neither and instead work off your imagination. Urinary trouble is highly abnormal at your age. I suggest drinking more water for a few weeks and see if the resulting increased urination takes care of your problems. If not, you might need to see a doctor. The doctor would probably start by analyzing a urine sample.
I first tried to masturbate last year, but I had no idea what to do. My dad never told me anything about masturbation. Recently I found HealthyStrokes.com and a managed to masturbate to orgasm, but I canít ejaculate. If I masturbate for a while, a small amount of clear liquid comes out of my penis. Do you have any tips to reach ejaculation? (age 13)
You might not be producing all the components of semen yet. When the clear liquid comes out, stroke as hard and fast as you can for a few minutes and see if it leads to ejaculation.
I've heard it's more relaxing in bed/lying down, but I'm not sure how I would clean up since now I just ejaculate into the carpet. (age 13)
You seem to have a narrow focus for someone so young. Most guys clean up with tissues or a rag like an old shirt kept on hand for that purpose. You obviously can't ejaculate into your carpet forever. You would find lying in bed much more comfortable and allow you greater range of motion. You'll certainly be having sex sometime after the next presidential election. Enjoy what you can do for now.
Will masturbating first thing in the morning make me less aroused during the day? (age 16)
Your arousal is apt to be less for a few hours after you masturbate. But if you're young, the effect might not last very long and you will be aroused again. Being aroused is good. Why do you want it to be less?
I donít masturbate often, only about once a week. Is that OK or should it be more frequent? I donít do it every day because there is never time when Iím completely alone and Iím afraid of getting caught. (age 14)
Frequent masturbation is good for you. Most boys your age masturbate daily, and you seem to want to do it that often. There is no reason to fear being caught. Your parents already know that nearly all boys your age masturbate. The older you get, the less you have to hide. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It is not something to be ashamed of.
Whenever I masturbate only one hour after my previous ejaculation, the orgasm is painful. This seems to only happen when I do that. Is this normal? (age 13)
Unfortunately, yes. You're straining your sexual parts by masturbating that often. Give your body a chance to recover from your previous session before you start another one.
I'm a virgin (no luck with women). I masturbate to porn daily, but when I miss a day or more, I start having major anxiety. Why does that happen? (age 31)
Masturbating is an excellent anxiety reducer, but you shouldn't having anxiety attacks just because you haven't masturbated lately. You might seek help from a doctor for your anxiety. I would also suggest working on finding sex with women. It's not too late.
What is the difference between hymen and vagina? (age 22)
The vagina is the organ that the penis inserts fully into during intercourse; and it is also where a baby passes through in getting born. The hymen is a thin membrane that partially covers the entrance to the vagina.
Is it OK for me to masturbate using the backhand technique? (age 16)
Is it good for cardiac and control of blood pressure by masturbating thrice weekly at 52 years of male? (age 52)
Masturbation is good, healthy exercise. I have never heard anyone say it causes cardiac risk. I have heard that it tends to lower blood pressure. Many men your age masturbate or have sexual intercourse a total of more than three times a week. I say go for it!
Should I participate in no-nut November and destroy dick December? (age 17)
Frequent ejaculation is healthy. Going all of November without ejaculating is no fun and is apt to be bad for you.
I masturbate naked. I do it to be free of clothes and want to see my chest and body. Is it normal to masturbate naked? (age 29)
Yes, very. Most people have an easier time getting aroused that way. Some even do it while watching themselves in a mirror. I call that mirrorbating.
I get massive headaches whenever I masturbate. What do I do about this? (age 18)
I would suggest seeing a doctor to rule a serious health problem. If they are occurring at the back of your head, just above the neck, they are apt to be muscle-tension headaches. Try masturbating in a different position (e.g. sitting, standing) and see if they go away.
I see you tell a lot of people that they are too young to have sex, but I don't know when it is physically not harmful. I'm a teenage boy so naturally I think about sex a lot and want to have it but I understand that I have to wait and not pressure someone else into it. I'm only 14 but I matured pretty quickly. I masturbated for the first time two weeks before my 11th birthday. What is your opinion on a safe age to have sex? (age 14)
The right age for sex is more than just about physical functioning. If you were able to have a firm erection and masturbate to orgasm two weeks before your 11th birthday, then you were physically able to have sex then. A boy or girl is not able to handle the other, emotional aspects of sexuality until later. Plus, there can also be consequences of early sexuality, not the least of which are pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Also, there is something called age of consent which means it can be against the law to have sex below a certain age, which varies from place to place. I always tell people who are not yet 16 that they're too young to have sex. I never tell people 18 or older that they're too young. At ages 16 and 17, some people are ready for sex and some aren't. Only you can decide.
I don't think I have precum. Does everybody have precum? Do I just not make a lot? I have honestly never noticed it. Not even during my first kiss (very recently!!!). Is it normal? If it isn't, is it bad or does it just not affect me? (age 14)
I teach that all males produce pre-cum, which is properly called Cowper's fluid or bulbourethral fluid. The time you're most likely to notice it is when you're very aroused for an extended period of time without engaging in actual penile stimulation. If you're aroused long enough (30 minutes or more), you will notice an actual flow of pre-cum, possibly enough to soak through several layers of clothing.
I've seen a few times you telling people, "you're too old to be a virgin." That is rude and judgmental. Sex is a personal choice, not something someone should do at a certain age, just because they feel they have to. Many people may also have reasons, like no sex until marriage, or maybe they have a history of sexual abuse. It's very insensitive. (age 23)
Would you please read this chapter by Eva Margolies for an understanding of why I believe men should never be virgins over age 21.
I've tried to masturbate using different strokes like just the shaft or just the head but I haven't really been getting any pleasure from it other than a few tingles and I usually become flaccid after a short period of time. I still have wet dreams though. What do I do? (age 14)
Keep trying. Find a thought that really turns you on and have that in your head next time you try.
What's the best way to masturbate for hours without rushing to orgasm? (age 27)
You can have an enjoyable session without stretching it out for hours and without rushing to orgasm. Try a session that lasts 15-20 minutes. That's what many males do. Going for hours is not good for you.
I'm a virgin. I love to masturbate a lot. I masturbate almost every day. What's the difference when you ejaculate from masturbation and from having sex? Which one is more pleasurable? (age 19)
They both feel good. You can better control what happens when you're masturbating and can make it more intense. When having sex, you have to work with your partner and think about her pleasure too.
Is there a way to speed up how quickly you orgasm? (age 16)
Most guys your age want to slow down their orgasms. If you want to speed it up, the best way is to make sure your mind is fully engaged in a sexual fantasy that arouses you. The more turned on you are, the easier it is to bring yourself to orgasm faster.
Is it OK to use lotion instead of lube? (age 18)
Yes, fine. Lotion is a form of lube. My point is that you would probably enjoy a water-based lube made especially for sex than an ordinary household product that contains oil and can be messy.
I am a really weird case. I can't ejaculate or reach orgasm with just my hands. I never could. I've trying to do it my entire adolescence. I had ideas of trying new things, such as an electric shaver (only for the vibration). Is this normal? Should I stop? I'm not getting any injuries. I'm more relaxed now and I can masturbate often. (age 19)
Vibration helps a lot of females reach orgasm, but it doesn't do much for men. I don't think that is your answer. I would suggest abstaining from masturbating for a week (perhaps longer) and then trying to masturbate by hand. It will be easier the longer it's been since your last orgasm.
I had wet dreams during high school. Then I learned masturbation at 15. I did it 2 or 3 times a week. At 19 I only masturbated about once in 15 days. At 20, I started masturbation while watching porn. In my all time masturbating, I used to ejaculate in 2 or 3 minutes. At 21, I met with a girl and tried to have sex but when she touched me, I started leaking pre-cum, and my erection slowed down, and I could not penetrate her. The next time I took Manforce 50 mg, and then I could penetrate her, but I lasted only 30 or 40 seconds after penetration. Now I masturbate only 1 or 2 times a month, and I still have wet dreams. What should I do to fix it so that I can reach ejaculation during real sex? Is it OK to masturbate with porn? (age 23)
You are not masturbating anywhere close to often enough. Most younger guys who are not sexually active masturbate every day. By still having wet dreams at your age, you are proving that you're not masturbating enough. You probably haven't done it often enough to have sexual control. For example, you gave up at your first intercourse when you had pre-cum. That is very normal, and if you had more experience masturbating and being with women, you would know how to handle that moment. 30 or 40 seconds is not ideal, but it is better than not reaching orgasm at all. Keep masturbating and having intercourse and work at being better at both. Most men use images to help them masturbate.
I have an amazing girlfriend who is just like me and I donít want to lose her doing something stupid. Iím having trouble keeping my fantasy life outside of my real life and I do stupid things when I get aroused. Iím worried that Iím going to cross the line with my perfect girlfriend and lose her. (age 14)
You're being pretty vague about what you might do to lose your girlfriend. Are you saying you're going to be sexual with a different girl? Are you worried you're going to say or do something that will alienate your girlfriend? Most people don't expect their relationships at 14 to last very long. Why don't you talk more with your girlfriend about things you should and shouldn't do.
I would just like to thank you for the information you provide. I've been pretty unknowledgeable about sex, because my dad didn't explain it very well to me. I used to get tingling sensations in my genitals when I glanced at women's clothing or a woman swimming and felt like I wanted to play with the area. I also poured body wash on my penis one time when I was young, and it erected like crazy.
A few years ago I stuck my penis into a glove, because it looked like it would feel nice for some reason. I did it for a few minutes before I felt a strong sensation in my pelvis, like I was about to sneeze. Only about 8 months ago did I start masturbating, and I felt awesome. I thought I was the only person in the world who did it, and I would feel guilty when I felt an extremely strong desire to masturbate. This website has really helped me to understand that masturbation is healthy and that all boys do it. (age 14)
You seem to have experienced a lot penis-wise for a young age. Be careful where you stick your penis. Thank you for reading HealthyStrokes.com.
Should I request my parents buy me some lube and do you think I will get it? (age 16)
I don't know your parents. (At least I don't think I do.) What usually happens when you ask for something that costs between 88 cents and $10? Most guys your age would just go out and buy it themselves.
Thank you for your site. I masturbated for the first time today and had an orgasm. It felt great! (age 13)
Hooray! I hope the next 10,000 times also feel great!
I am sick with a cold. Is it OK to masturbate? (age 13)
It is a lot better than OK.
Do lots of people my age masturbate? (age 14)
The boys, almost all of them. The girls, more than half.
I've been reading through HealthyStrokes.com and some things stated as facts are wrong. (age 21)
Why don't you tell me what those are, and we can go from there?
Will my mom be angry or disappointed with me if she finds out I masturbate? What should I do? (age 14)
She probably masturbates herself or used to. She will not be angry or disappointed. She might even be happy that you have healthy sexuality and are keeping your sex organs in healthy functioning condition. She would be more likely to be angry or disappointed if, instead of masturbating, you were using girls for sex.
Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.
My friend is very religious and he says that masturbation is bad and he hasn't masturbated for at least 2 years. He says that the only ejaculation he can have is a wet dream and that occurs to him once a month. Can he become underdeveloped in some way? Is there a risk of prostate cancer if he would not be able to have sex for next 5-7 years when he thinks he'll get married? (age 16)
I would have an easier time believing he's never masturbated than that he used to but quit. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. He should masturbate often and enjoy it. Why don't you have him read my page for Christians? The risk of prostate cancer is not an immediate one but long term. Males who masturbate most often when they're young have the least incidence of prostate cancer later. Most men are not married at age 21-23. Why does your friend assume he will be?
Follow-up from another reader: You found it hard to believe that the writer's friend had quit masturbating, but I disagree. When I was 12, I masturbated a few times. Then I stopped for nearly 2 years. I had a lot of wet dreams but I easily stopped masturbating for a while. (age 15)
You had not made masturbation a habit and were able to quit after only a few times. But then after two years, you took it up again and have now made it a daily habit. That is the point at which I have trouble believing a male could quit.
What is the actual way to masturbate supine? You never say. (age 13)
I say frequently. Supine means lying on one's back. The regular way is to lie supine (on one's back) and stroke up and down the penis with one hand. I suggest you read my Young Man's Guide to Masturbation.
I masturbate to this girl in a jeans ad whoís exposing her cleavage and lifting up her shirt. Is it OK to use this, because itís not really extreme or about sex, or should I use my imagination more? The only problem is that when I use my imagination, it doesnít really turn me on. (age 13)
I see nothing wrong with the ad. Work at finding more things you can imagine that will turn you on.
I just had a doctor's appointment and my doctor had a medical student working with him. My doctor asked if my mother and I if I minded her doing the exam as a part of her residency. My mother said it was OK and they told her she needed to remain in the room. So we went into the exam room. The student doctor asked me to stand and take my clothes off. I did so covering my junk. She asked me to lie on the table with my hands on my sides and she checked my belly and groin. I was so nervous being this naked. She then asked me to stand so she could check for a hernia and scoliosis. Her hands felt nice while I was coughing. She then asked me to turn around and touch my toes. She ran her fingers along my spine to my lower back. She then told me to stand up straight and tall. I was so embarrassed. My penis was getting hard and I was literally 2 feet in front of my mother. I tried not to look at her but I could see she was staring at my penis and it was growing. The doctor said good job get dressed. I did and left then room as fast as I could. Do you think my mom realized what happened to me and is it weird that I got turned on in the appointment? (age 14)
It would have been better if your mother hadn't been in the room. It is not unusual that you got aroused by a 20something female medical student examining you. Be glad everything checked out fine.
I used to be able to masturbate for up to 10 minutes, but nowadays I seem to only be able to masturbate for a couple of minutes before I have the urge to ejaculate. How can I prolong the amount of time which I use to masturbate? Does viewing porn have any effect on this? (age 15)
There is nothing wrong with masturbating to orgasm in only a few minutes. Just because you have the urge to ejaculate after two or three minutes doesn't mean you have to. If you're enjoying your session, channel your thoughts away from what is leading to your orgasm but maintain your erection. Stretching things out for a minute or two is apt to be fun. It is more in your control than you think. Viewing visual stimulation is usually done to make masturbation sessions shorter, not longer.
Today I was attempting to draw a simple erotic picture. During drawing I wondered: Do people masturbate to their own erotic art? Does that also cause the bad side effects of masturbating to porn? (age 13)
Yes, people do; and I don't think there's any harm to that. Drawing your own pictures is obviously a greater exercise of your imagination than merely imagining something.
I want to try masturbate with lotion. What part of my penis do I put it on? I'm uncircumcised and can fully retract my foreskin. (age 12)
Don't put it on your penis directly. Put it on your hand and then use your hand as you do.
I masturbate twice a week for about an hour to and hour and 30 minutes. Sometimes I decide to cum and sometimes I don't. If I decide to let go, I shoot lots of cum and it feels great and if I don't, I just enjoy the orgasm. Is it OK if I masturbate and don't cum? (age 29)
That is a bad way to masturbate. Most men and women say the ejaculation at the end is the best part. That is the goal of nearly all sexual activity. You're also taking an extreme amount of time, which is taxing your prostate. Most men masturbate more often than you do and get it over with in 5-15 minutes.
How can I introduce masturbation to my girlfriend? (age 16)
Do you want to talk about it, or do you want her to practice it? If you want to talk about it, just mention that you enjoy masturbating and do it ___ times a week. Then see what she says. You might find out she already practices it, or you might find out she's not even comfortable talking about it. If you're already being sexual together, you might try touching her gently the way she might like it if she did it herself.
Iím very attracted to my girlfriend and donít have trouble when Iím with her. But when I try to masturbate while fantasizing about her I have trouble focusing and getting to orgasm. Are there likely reasons and/or solutions to this? (age 20)
Many people are uncomfortable fantasizing about people they actually know and/or are sexually active with and prefer to fantasize about strangers, celebrities, and people who pose for nude photos. I don't know that there's anything wrong with that. If fantasizing about your girlfriend causes you dissatisfaction, then fantasize about some of the billions of other people.
I came across your site years ago and it helped me come to terms with my own masturbatory needs and embrace it. I'm straight and enjoy intercourse several times a week but masturbation fulfills another part of me and so I need that too. I occasionally masturbate with other guys who share my passion for it. My girlfriends over the years have all masturbated and have all admitted they masturbate with other girls but it's awkward for a guy to admit that so I have kept that part to myself. I wish guys could be as open about masturbation and mutual masturbation an girls. Can you comment on why the disparity and perhaps talk about the changing norms in that area? (age 26)
I have never asked about masturbating with other people on any of the surveys I've done on HealthyStrokes.com. I don't perceieve that many people practice masturbation with friends and random people. Not even many people who are sexually active masturbate together. I even think it's unusual that all of your girlfriends have admitted they masturbate, because in my experience, a large share of women either don't masturbate or don't admit it.
When I masturbate, after 10-15 minutes, my muscles lock up and I don't ejaculate. Is this bad? (age 15)
I have to say that is bad. At your age, you should be masturbating to orgasm quite easily. Try to keep your erection while you get your muscles unlocked, then go back at it.
Each time I masturbate, I seem to last a lot longer than the last time. Is this bad? (age 13)
No, it isn't. Most boys your age seem to reach orgasm too quickly and wish they could last longer.
I am a virgin and unmarried and feel a strong desire to masturbate after 2-3 days without ejaculation but right after ejaculation, my desire goes down and I do not feel any excitement. Why does this happen? Do women also feel the same condition? (age 31)
Yes, that is called the refractory period. Both men and women experience it. But at your age, you should feel the desire again after a few hours. Most virgin men your age masturbate about daily. When you feel that strong desire, why not go out and meet women that you might want to have sex with? You're too old to be a virgin.
I have a lingering pain in my penis from a prolonged masturbation session two weeks ago. Nothing is visibly wrong, but I have a burning discomfort through the shaft and glans, even when flaccid. Erections have been uncomfortable, bordering on painful. I have an appointment with my urologist next week, but Iím terrified Iíve done something permanent. Iíve looked at articles online about ďbroken penisĒ but I really donít think thatís what Iíve done. Is this just a case of being too vigorous and inflaming the tissue? (age 52)
Let me know what the urologist says. Penile fracture is a possibility. If it were mere inflamed tissue, I would think it would be back to normal after two weeks.
Is white hair caused due by masturbation? (age 18)
No. All of the males and nearly all of the females your age masturbate. How many of them have white hair?
I love your web site! I've been masturbating since 11-12, and it felt great then! But now, I don't even get a leg-twitching, face-crunching orgasm. It feels like nothing! Then the second I reach orgasm, 1 or 2 seconds afterward, I ejaculate and then lose ALL feeling! So it's just 1-2 seconds of nothing. (age 14)
I think you might be anticipating having a nothing orgasm and then you get one. Don't expect all orgasms to feel leg-twitching, face-crunching. By definition, most are only average. It might help to masturbate less often than you do now and see if having only three orgasms a week instead of eight helps you have a more enjoyable orgasm.
I have masturbated since I was 15 or 16. I used to masturbate 4-6 days a week, on average, but now I do it 3-5 days a week, and I am a virgin. I want to have kids in the future and I am afraid my sperm will become less fertile. Do I need to cut down on masturbation? (age 20)
No. Masturbation is good for you and your fertility. Frequent ejaculation flushes out the oldest sperm from you and so the newer, better sperm remain. A male is more likely to impregnate a female if he's masturbated recently than if he hasn't. You ought to enjoy frequent masturbation and not worry that it will harm your fertility.
Ever since I started masturbating and being sexual active, I have felt like once I got aroused, I was already to ejeculate. I stopped masturbating because of this and now only ejaculate during sex. I still have the issue of awful premature ejaculation. I don't masturbate because it will affect my erection quality. (age 33)
You have it backward. Masturbating before intercourse is apt to make you last longer in intercourse. Why don't you try masturbating to orgasm a few hours before you next have intercourse?
I masturbate with a flaccid penis by rubbing/pushing it. Is that OK? (age 22)
No, that is bad. Only masturbate when you have a satisfactory erection. Pushing a penis sounds like prone masturbation.
I masturbated once, sometimes twice, a day for a month straight. Does this have negative effects? (age 14)
No. Almost all the boys your age do the same thing.
Iím starting to worry that I can only climax, or even get very excited, if thoughts about one certain girl from my past are involved. Is this possible? Has this happened to people before? Is there a way to overcome it? I really donít want this to be the case.
Itís also possible that I have trouble getting aroused unless itís to something that feels forbidden. Have you heard of this before and people overcoming it? (age 19)
People have been tempted by forbidden fruit since the Garden of Eden. It's better if you can get aroused by other things too. Yes, there are people who can only get aroused by one particular person. It's a problem if she's in your past and not your present. Why not work about finding more girls who can arouse you? There must be billions.
Is humping a pillow prone masturbation?
YES! It might be the most common form of prone masturbation.
I masturbate once a month. Is it OK? (age 16)
I have to say that it isn't. Most males your age masturbate about once a day. The ones who don't do it often do it about three times a week. Once a month is an extremely low frequency. Even males about your age who don't masturbate have wet dreams more often than that. See here to learn the health benefits of frequent masturbation.
I've only masturbated intentionally twice, one when I was 10 years old and the other one a few days ago. I usually get aroused very frequently and I really want to masturbate. However, I'm afraid of ejaculation, since I don't know what measures to take to avoid staining or wetting my underwear or surroundings. What do I do? The last time I masturbated I spilled out some precum, but I don't know if that means I'm not able to ejaculate. (age 13)
Don't be afraid of ejaculating. It will be one of the best experiences you will ever have. Most males only ejaculate about a teaspoonful of semen. With practice, you can control exactly where it goes, and with experience, you won't care if it doesn't go exactly where you want it to. Just have a cloth or tissue for cleaning up handy.
I started masturbating at age 14. Now I am 16 and cannot do it as long as I want to. Sometimes I last only a minute. Is this a medical problem? I masturbate once or twice a week.
Most boys your age masturbate daily. If you do it more often, it is apt to take longer. There is nothing wrong with ejaculating after only a minute or two. If it bothers you, work at lasting 1:30, then 1:45, then 2:00, and so on...
Suppose there are two males the same age, one of whom is masturbating and the other isn't. Which person is likely to get more sexual thoughts overall? (age 19)
I've never asked about "frequency of sexual thoughts" on one of my surveys here. Keep in mind there aren't any men your age who don't masturbate. If you were talking about 13 or 14 year old boys, I would expect the one who masturbates to have more sexual thoughts. Both masturbating and sexual thoughts are good things. I get the feeling you don't think so.
Why is it that I rarely get erections and when I do they are not fully erect? I have to stimulate my penis with my hands and kind of "play with myself" in order to get hard and I then quickly go soft. I resort to just grabbing my foreskin and not shaft in order to get somewhat hard. Why am I not getting fully hard naturally? Please help. This has been ongoing for several months. (age 16)
The problem you describe is typical for a man over 40 but is very rare at your age. I suggest seeing a doctor to rule out a serious physical condition.
I keep fantasizing about women who dominate me in really serious ways. I imagine them blackmailing me, humiliating me, manipulating me, etc. and often I have especially good orgasms this way. Is this unhealthy? Would it be better not to have these fantasies often, and if so how could I get as turned on by other things? (age 18)
Those are common fantasies. There is even a genre of erotica called B&D. It's not unhealthy to fantasize. But it would be good if you can get aroused by other things too, like simple nudity or thoughts of simple intercourse.
Iím trying to masturbate while fantasizing about my girlfriend, but for some reason it wonít work. It works when I fantasize about other women. Iím very attracted to my girlfriend so Iím not sure why this isnít effective. Is this a common thing at all? (age 19)
Yes, it is. Many males feel guilty about fantasizing about people they know. That is one reason fantasizing about women in nude images and celebrities are so popular.
Masturbating feels amazing, but I don't have the urge to do it every day and I'm still a virgin. Is it normal not to masturbate every day? I'm not against it. (age 17)
Most virgins your age masturbate daily, but plenty masturbate less than that. I think you're doing fine.
I'm getting circumcised because my foreskin doesn't retract. Any suggestions? (age 12)
If this has to happen, it's better to get it done now than wait until later. If you're already in the practice of masturbating frequently, ask your doctor if you'll be able to do it after the operation. Don't be afraid to tell the doctor that you masturbate. The doctor masturbates too.
After I masturbate, my penis gets really small. Is it normal? (age 13)
Yes, the smaller the better. That means your penis drained of blood effectively after your orgasm. Congratulations! At your age, you will probably be able to masturbate again in 15 minutes.
I am interested in buying a masturbation sleeve, except I donít want my family knowing. What is a good way to order it without them knowing? Also any tips for hiding it? (age 13)
I would suggest getting better using your hands for a few years before trying a toy. If you really want one, you can buy it with a Visa gift card. A package arriving for you in the mail will be less suspicious if you routinely get packages than if this is the only one all year. If you wrap it in a piece of clothing, it is unlikely anyone will find it.
I enjoy masturbating when I do it, which is about 3 times a week. I'm still a virgin. I feel like I'm wasting sperm when I ejaculate. I'm a weightlifter and I feel like jerking off will have an effect on my growth and size. Help me if im wrong please. (age 29)
You're wrong about many things. You should accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. You are too old to be a virgin. Most virgins your age masturbate daily. Masturbating does not waste sperm; it keeps your semen healthy. Masturbating is good exercise and will not affect your weightlifting. I suggest reading this page about the health benefits of frequent masturbation.
Does masturbating to still pictures of naked females have the same effects as masturbating to video porn? (age 15)
I believe that still pictures are safer because they leave more to your imagination. With video, the story is handed to you.
I just masturbated in the shower and the semen leaves a very strange texture on my skin. I think the best way to describe it is that my skin has gotten less slippery. Is this normal and is there a reason why this would happen? (age 14)
You might have been greasy for some reason and the semen washed some of it off? Might use more soap in the shower (for cleaning).
Does masturbating 2-3 times a day cause prostate cancer? (age 16)
A team of doctors led by Dr. Graham Giles surveyed a group of men with prostate cancer and an age-matched group of men without it and asked them questions about their sexual practices, including how often they ejaculated in various decades of their lives. They found that the men who ejaculated most often when they were younger had the least incidence of prostate cancer later. They reasoned that frequent ejaculation flushes the prostate and keeps it in healthy functioning condition and eliminates chemicals that might cause prostate cancer. Dr. Giles recommends that younger males masturbate at least six times a week. However, 2-3 times a day is an extreme frequency not evaluated by the Giles team's study. Most boys your age do it about once a day.
When I masturbate, usually it takes about 35 minutes to reach orgasm. How can I lower this? (age 18)
Try doing it only when you're really aroused. Focus on bringing yourself to orgasm. If you do that, you should be able to finish in 10 minutes or so.
I discovered HealthyStrokes.com today and have been reading it over. Congrats on making such a remarkable service for so many people. One thing I noticed while reading that concerned me was the age at which I developed seem to be radically different from everyone else. I never masturbated until I was 20. I didn't have much in the way of sex ed, and I didn't know how to do it and honestly wasn't super interested. I didn't have much in the way of sexual dreams or fantasies. I was interested in girls but in purely romantic ways, as opposed to sexual ways. I knew I was different from other guys but I never felt bad about it or anything, until I read over and over that every male starts doing these things way before I did.
I continued to develop late as my life went on. I didn't really get interested in girls in a sexual way until my mid 20's, and I was a virgin until I was 32. I am 42 now and have had sex three times with two partners. I didn't masturbate regularly until I was 22 or so, and now I typically do it 2-3 times a week. All this time I knew I was different but I never felt bad about it until I read your site. Why is it that I am so different?
You might not have anything to worry about, and you are not necessarily very different. You shouldn't feel bad about anything. It is possible your testosterone or other hormones are lower than normal. A doctor could do a blood test to determine that. Your frequency now is within the normal range for a man your age. Work at finding a regular sex partner. It isn't too late!
I jerk off two to three times a week without ejaculating. I just love to masturbate. I enjoy orgasm and I can go for more than an hour. When I feel I'm about to ejaculate, I stop. Is it good to masturbate and not ejaculate at the end? (age 27)
I have said many times that what you're doing is not at all good. You're being unnecessarily hard on your prostate and other sex organs. They want you to ejaculate, and sooner than you are. How do you enjoy orgasm if you're afraid to ejaculate?
How does masturbation impact testosterone levels? Is the impact different when masturbating to pornography? (age 15)
Masturbating or ejaculating in other ways does not affect your testosterone level. However, your testosterone level affects how often you masturbate or seek to ejaculate in other ways. Males with more testosterone ejaculate more frequently.
Sometimes I masturbate by opening the skin of my penis and gently rubbing it with my finger. Is it safe? (age 19)
Breaking skin is never safe. This is how infections start.
Iím in high school and for five years now, Iíve been sure that Iím bi. I want to experiment with another guy so badly. I donít want to have anal sex but Iím really turned on by the idea of masturbating together or sharing hand jobs or oral sex. Is it OK for me to do this at my age? (age 16)
In most places, you have reached the age of consent and can decide what kind of sex you'll have and with whom. I think it would be better for this kind of experimenting to happen with a guy about your same age instead of someone much older or younger.
I havenít masturbated the past 5 days because I have been staying in my brother's room due to renovations. I notice my right testicle has grown about twice its size. It feels great. Is this normal? My left hasnít grown much at all. Iím worried. (age 16)
A testicle will not double in size merely because you haven't ejaculated for five days. If you think something is really wrong, you need to see a doctor. Why don't you try masturbating at your usual frequency (in your brother's room or someplace else) and see if things go back to normal?
Is there any downside to daily masturbation at age 70 and over? (age 70)
No. Frequent masturbation is good for you. It will keep your sex organs in good function. Take a lesson from Ernest Borgnine, who lived to be 95.
When I masturbate, I usually stroke up and down the shaft a couple of times, then firmly and quickly press down on the base of my penis. Is this normal, or should I only stroke the shaft? (age 12)
Nearly all males stroke the shaft and lightly brush the head. The base has no role in this. Pressing firmly on it will also not help. Try to see how little force you need to bring yourself to orgasm. You are young and keep learning.
About 9 months ago I started secretly taking pictures of my crush and keeping them in my phone for when I wanted to masturbate. Yesterday I was showing my younger brother (who is 12) a different pic on my phone when one of my crush pics came up and I quickly moved on to another picture. He asked me who that was but I didnít answer. Do you think he knows what Iím up to? (age 14)
He probably has the idea that you're attracted to that girl, but he probably doesn't know you're using them to masturbate. Why not ask the girl out?
When I masturbate, with porn or other erotic material, I am able to climax within 5-10 minutes. When using only my imagination, climaxing takes 15-45 minutes. Is there any way to speed this up? Is it OK to use still pictures and erotic texts to masturbate, or should I not use them at all? (age 15)
It's completely up to you. I say to be able to get by with only your imagination at least some of the time. You've learned the most important function of visual aids: a timesaver during masturbation. If you can get aroused from still pictures and erotic texts, you're better off than those who can only get aroused from extreme videos.
I love your site. It has really helped me with some questions I had that I was too embarrassed to ask my mom about (since my dad left). (age 15)
Is it OK if I get my own semen in my mouth? Can I use my saliva as a lube to make my penis more slippery? (age 13)
Those are both OK.
Many sources that I found online all state that at my age, I should be waking up with morning wood every morning and that it will last for a while after waking up, but itís not the case for me. I used to have them frequently but now I only have them seldom. Is there something wrong with me? I heard itís an effect of porn. Could it also be because I wake up very early in the mornings? (age 15)
Morning erections decline after age 18. If you can erect when you want to, it is not a problem that you are not waking up erect. I recommend using less porn generally. Your time of waking does not matter.
What's the most guys have ever masturbated in one day? (age 14)
I asked over 10,000 people that very question in a survey once. Here is the result from 8479 males. The most common answer was four. The median answer was five. The average was 5.66.
Should I masturbate when I am home alone? (age 12)
If that's the best time for you to get to know yourself. Once you've started, you'll want to do it also when other people are home.
If I masturbate and get orgasm, my erection depletes and nothing happens. Around 5 minutes later, a clear sticky fluid comes out of my penis in waves and in small amounts.Iím concerned. (age 12)
It is normal for your erection to go detumescent immediately after your orgasm. The liquid that comes out afterward is semen that didn't get ejaculated. Nothing is wrong.
How much should someone my age masturbate? I do it every day and sometimes twice a day. I heard that doing it too much can numb your penis. Is that true? (age 18)
Your frequency is just fine. Masturbating frequently will not numb your penis, although the penis will be more sensitive after a few days with no friction.
I have typically masturbated while thrusting into a blanket while sitting up similar to the doggy style position. (age 15)
That is prone masturbation, and it is bad for you. I urge you to give that up.
Will applying turmeric or aloe vera gel on the glans penis cause any problems? I need to get rid of an infection. Do you know any home remedies to do so apart from going to the doctor? (age 14)
If you really have an infection on your penis, you need to go to the doctor. The doctor knows how to diagnose and treat that infection. It is one of the most sensitive parts of your body, and you want to be able to keep having fun with it for another 80 or 90 years. I doubt aloe vera gel would do any harm, and I doubt turmeric would feel good there. Neither will cure an infection.
I think Iím bisexual, but I donít really get turned on by girls that much. It happens occasionally but I get easily turned on by guys. Recently, Iíve stopped masturbating to gay porn and have switched to videos of girls only. It works and I can masturbate without thinking about guys. But it somehow doesnít feel right. Is it possible for me to get accustomed to masturbating to girls? I have also switched to jerking off with my left hand instead of right. I hope that it somehow tricks my mind into getting turned on by girls only. I just wanted to know if that is really possible? (age 15)
You report having mixed feelings. You say you don't really get turned on by girls but are able to masturbate with female images. It's good to be turned on by more than one thing and to masturbate to more than one kind of image. It's also good to be able to masturbate with either hand. I think you ought to find out where your sexual interests lie and not try to force something that doesn't work for you.
Whenever I look at a hot girl, something like thick water starts coming out of my penis. It's not ejaculate. Is it the symptom of something dysfunctional? (age 19)
You are about seven years too old to ask that. You ought to be familiar with pre-cum, or Cowper's fluid, by now. It is produced when you're aroused in anticipation of your having intercourse or a different kind of orgasm.
Is it bad to jerk off 5 times in one day, but regularly 2 times a day? (age 14)
Twice a day is not an unusual frequency at your age. I suspect by the time you're 16 or 17, you'll be down to once a day, or maybe 6-10 times a week. For most males, five times is the absolute most they've ever done it in one day, and that was probably only one day for them.
Lately my semen is thick and stringy and almost has the consistency of Jell-O. It's got a yellowish tint to it. It used to be more white and more like a liquid. Is there something wrong? I don't want to tell my doctor or anything. (age 15)
I hope you would tell your doctor if you thought something was wrong. From what you report, you haven't been ejaculating often enough lately. Try ejaculating at least 4-5 times a week and see if your semen gets more like a white liquid.
I read that teenagers around my age are supposed to wake up with an erection every morning. Iím not getting one every morning and only get them rarely. Is there something wrong with me? Is there a way to have them more often? I used to have them more when I was younger. (age 15)
You're right about how it is for 15-year-old boys. Erections decline starting at about age 18. You seem much too young for that. I would suggest getting the doctor to check your testosterone level.
Can masturbation be a cause of lower back pain or knee stiffness or joint stiffness? (age 19)
Anything you do can cause those things. I think masturbation would be good for knee or joint stiffness (it's exercise), but unfortunately, yes, masturbation can cause lower back pain.
My girlfriend gave me a handjob and I ejaculated and then I fingered her about 15-20 minutes later. Iím worried I might have gotten sperm on my hand and then fingered her but Iíve read that sperm dies after 2 minutes outside of the body. If so what are the odds of her getting pregnant. (age 16)
If she gets pregnant, 100 percent. Sperm can live longer than two minutes. That was not safe to finger her with semen on your fingers, even 15-20 minutes later. Always wash your hands before fingering her.
I have heard that masturbation affects your brain and memory and might lead to hair loss. I masturbate 8 or 9 times a week. How much of this is true? My hair loss has increased. Is this because of masturbation? (age 24)
If masturbation has any effect on your brain or memory, it is good for them. It is good for your body to be kept in good physical condition, which masturbating helps provide. Hair loss is genetic. If you don't have the gene for baldness, then you won't go bald. If you have it, there are treatments like Minoxidil that can help you keep your hair. Masturbation doesn't cause hair loss, but they aren't completely unrelated. Hair loss is accelerated by testosterone. You seem to have a lot of testosterone, which is why you masturbate more than once a day. Guys with more testosterone masturbate and have sex more and also lose their hair faster, if they have the gene to do so. I suggest you check out treatments for hair loss, like Minoxidil, and enjoy masturbating while you do so.
I want to masturbate with my friend but how do I ask him if he wants to? (age 14)
I really think it's better if you don't.
I masturbate weirdly. I place my penis on top of my thighs and press on my shaft. Is this prone masturbation? (age 14)
That is not prone masturbation, but as you point out, it is weird. Masturbating like that will not make it easy for you to reach orgasm in other ways, like inside a partner. Males who masturbate by stroking gently up and down the penis have the best success in sexual intercourse. I suggest you stop the shaft-pressing thing.
Can I masturbate prone if I use a toy vagina with lots of lube? Or will my penis still get damaged somehow? How does doing it prone damage the penis? (age 25)
The damage caused by prone masturbation is not usually to the penis itself but in your head. A male who masturbates prone gets too accustomed to the tremendous force that prone masturbation delivers. The force of the gentle stroking action of regular masturbation is more similar to force of thrusting in and out of a partner's vagina than prone is.
When I masturbate in bed, I put a towel underneath myself so when I ejaculate, I get no stains on the sheets. Is it OK to put the towel back on the radiator to use after a shower or to ejaculate again? (age 13)
I would use a separate towel for that, but it really doesn't matter.
I'm wondering if I can start masturbating at my age or if I have to wait until I'm older. It would be mortifying to ask that of my parents. (age 12)
More boys start masturbating at age 12 than any other age. There is no reason to ask your parents.
A few days ago, I masturbated 3 times. I usually have a large volume of semen when I ejaculate but since that day, my semen volume has dropped. Instead of 3-4 squirts, I now have only 1-2 squirts. Sometimes there are no squirts and it just oozes out. (age 15)
You didn't hurt anything by masturbating three times one day. You never measured your semen volume accurately. Don't worry about that and instead enjoy yourself.
I masturbate by hand almost every day but occasionally I masturbate prone. Should I stop? (age 16)
Yes. Masturbating prone will do you no good and will probably cause problems. It's not worth the risk.
Iíve been masturbating since I was 13. I still manage to get a good stiff erection just thinking about sex, using porn and fingering my penis. I still masturbate, have pleasurable orgasms and ejaculate semen. (age 66)
Thank you for your inspiring report.
Recently, I woke up in the middle of the night and didnít go back to sleep, so I ended up masturbating to erotica and a porn videos online. I noticed that while I was masturbating, my erection was weaker than it usually was and my penis wasnít as hard. It would start to become flaccid if I stopped stroking the foreskin. I am worried. Is this because I have been masturbating to too much porn and that I am starting to suffer from ED, which I heard is a side-effect of viewing porn? Or is it because I was masturbating having woken up in the middle of the night and was just quite tired? I have been viewing porn videos since I was 11 and I recently noticed that some porn videos and erotica donít excite me as much anymore. If I am suffering from the side-effects of porn, are there any ways to remedy them? Thank you! (age 15)
Nearly all men can tell of waking up early and masturbating to help them get back to sleep. You give a lot of reasons why I urge younger readers to use their imaginations instead of porn. You are pretty young to find that some videos don't excite you anymore. I would urge you to make it a priority to be able to reach orgasm using only your imagination and only using videos occasionally.
Is it true that if I always shower with hot water, I will suffer from low sperm count in the future as my testicles will be unable to produce as much sperm? Does showering with hot water also boost penile growth? (age 15)
I've heard it said that men having semen analysis should avoid bathing in hot water or hot tubs before producing their sample, but I've never heard that about shower water. Shower water only flows down the body, you know. It's not the same as soaking in it. Showering with hot water or cold water will make no difference in your penile growth.
Are videos of people masturbating considered porn, even if they are people of the same gender masturbating? (age 16)
Masturbating is a sex act, and a video of it is considered to be porn, regardless of the gender of the people in it.
Is it normal for me to get an erection as often at 20 as it was going through puberty? I'm a college student and I am always getting an erection, sometimes a couple minutes before the lecture is over and we leave class.
I usually wear shorts or sweats but even with jeans, my erection is still noticeable. I don't know what I can do to hide it. I wear boxers but usually my penis works its way out of the fly, or if the fly is off to the side, it just points out. Not only do I have the erection problem, sometimes I have a noticeable precum spot on my pants if they are lighter colored, like light gray sweats. If I wear tighter jeans, I get an erection and it just hurts because I have no room.
It's awkward having to get up and carry my bag in front of my crotch until my erection goes down. The last time I did that I dropped my bag by accident and my erection was there for everyone to see. Nobody said anything but it was very awkward.
Sometimes I'll masturbate before class but I still get an erection. Other times I will go to the restroom to do the deed, but I hate doing that because I like to masturbate in complete privacy even though I'm in a stall, so it takes longer for me than usual to reach orgasm if I do that. (age 20)
Erections are good. You should enjoy them and be glad you're having them frequently. You shouldn't will them away or be ashamed of them. You don't need to masturbate every time you get an erection.
I would suggest switching from boxers to briefs. It is a lot harder for an erection to poke through briefs. I promise no one is looking to spot your erection or your precum spot. Instead of holding a bag in front of yourself, why not drape a jacket of your arm. It's less awkward.
What is the average age for a male to lose virginity? (age 14)
I'd like to thank you for helping me learn about masturbation. I had my first orgasm today. I had been masturbating for a couple of minutes. I felt my penile muscle tension increase and a wake of a cold amazing feeling over my body, then my semen lightly dripped out, which I was fine with because it felt AMAZING. Are there any web sites that aren't like porn that are milder, and just clothed/naked woman? Thank you for teaching me to discover masturbation. (age 14)
Congratulations. I think you would enjoy teengallery.com.
I've been reading your site for a while now and I think it's really good. I've been masturbating since I was in eighth grade. I was really thrilled by it and started doing it a lot. I'm gay so I used to receive lots of sexual stimulation from TV commercials and also from gay porn. Also, I am in a boys' school so whenever I saw shirtless guys in the sports field, I used to get turned on. I think I got addicted to masturbation and started doing it on a daily basis. I used to do it 2-3 times a day, sometimes even more. There were times when my parents would be asleep and I would be jerking off to some tv ads on the couch. I would masturbate very roughly through my pants. I have stopped the rough masturbation now and I use oil as lube. That has also stopped the pain and my sex drive has increased as well. I also have a greenish layer around my penis opening. I don't know what it is. I'm scared that it might be an STD, but I've never had sexual contact with anyone. (age 15)
Masturbation is not an addiction. Your frequency is somewhat high. I recommend seeing a doctor to examine your penis for possible infection. There are other kinds of infections besides STDs, you know. I also think you would enjoy water-based lube more than oil-based.
I've masturbated many times, but I don't think I've ever orgasmed. After doing it for a few minutes, my penis always feels numb, and it gets slightly painful after a while, and it feels good, but I think I'd know if I had an orgasm. Maybe I actually have, but I'm not sure. Nothing's ever come out. (age 14)
If you don't think you've had an orgasm, then you haven't. You would know. At your age, you ought to be able to ejaculate. If you aren't ejaculating by age 15, see a doctor. Masturbating should not make your penis feel numb or painful. Use less force.
Someone said is it possible to masturbate with just the glans. I can only get satisfaction from the glans, and none from the shaft. Is this normal and OK? I used to prone masturbate, but not anymore. (age 14)
You should enjoy stroking the shaft, and most males do, and unless they're using lube, they only brush lightly against the glans, or more specifically, the coronal ridge (the widest part of the penis). Spend some time working on the shaft and learning to enjoy the feelings you get from stroking it.
I have been masturbating once a day for a few months now, and my penis hurts afterward for a few hours. Is that normal? (age 12)
No, not at all. You're using too much force. Try to see how little force you can use and still bring yourself to orgasm.
I masturbate sometimes in a condom, and wash it every time. Should I only use it once, or re-use it after washing it? (age 13)
Modern condoms are designed to be used only once. After one use, it is no longer safe to use as a contraceptive or for the prevention of disease. I doubt you'll hurt yourself by masturbating with a reused one, but I won't say it's impossible. There could be bacteria living in a washed condom.
I was circumcised 2 days ago because of my phimosis. I forgot to ask my doctor about masturbating, although my penis hurts when ANYTHING touches the unbandaged part, so I wouldn't be doing it anyway. But it's starting to kill me. I used to masturbate every day and I had my first wet dream ever last night. I don't know what to do. (age 13)
I have no idea why you can't ask your doctor now or at a follow-up visit.
Follow-up: The doctor said I have to keep my hands off it for 4-6 weeks. I don't know if I can go that long.
The doctor has obviously dealt with this situation before. Ask him if he has any suggestions. In the meantime, learn to enjoy your wet dreams.
I suggest you insert a table which consists of age group and the recommended frequency of masturbation. (age 15)
||recommended frequency of ejaculation
||six times per week
||five times per week
||four times per week
Will masturbating benefit me later in life? Is it OK to do it at a very young age? (age 14)
Yes. I predict masturbating will benefit you every day or close to it for the next few decades of your life. It is OK to do it at any age, and you're already past a very young age. You're past the age most males start masturbating.
The skin of the scrotum, dartos, usually becomes darker, a reddish brown, when a boy starts producing testosterone at pubertal levels. This process also occurs in girls and leads to the darkening of their labia. You have an outstanding site, which has a great deal of factual information for teens. (age 63, medical doctor)
Thank you for that information. I will add it to the puberty page, but I don't think many boys notice the color of their scrotum before puberty.
I asked my friend (who is also 15, like me) about his masturbation frequency and he said that he masturbates 2-3 times a week. I told him that is too low. I said I masturbate once a day and said, ďbro, I thought that you were innocent but you masturbate?Ē How do I tell him that he should masturbate more often? (age 15)
I think you did by telling him you masturbate once a day. Perhaps you could suggest he read HealthyStrokes.com too, where I point out on nearly every page that frequent masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.
I don't want to be gay, but when I masturbate, I sometimes picture myself with other boys. I hate it when I accidentally think about one of my friends or classmates, and it discourages me from masturbating. What is a good way of turning yourself on without doing letting your imagination run wild? (age 13)
Just because you have occasional fantasies about other males doesn't mean you're gay. You said you "sometimes" fantasize about boys. What about the rest of the time? Even if you are gay, that's not something bad. It's just the way some people are. Instead of restricting your imagination, let it run even more wild. That's how you'll learn what really turns you on.
THE NEWEST QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS NOW APPEAR AT THE TOP OF THIS PAGE FOR THE BENEFIT OF READERS USING MOBILE DEVICES
This page updated January 9, 2019.
Dear readers: I am getting short of stories to put on the caught masturbating page. Why not go over there and share your stories or things you've done to keep from getting caught.
It will be a while before there is a long survey for males. In the meantime, I have posted some quick surveys (no more than 4-5 questions) and these will be changed every few days. Click the link on the male survey page and come back frequently to take new quick surveys.
New quick survey questions for males!
Do you like to take surveys? While we decide if there will be a new long form survey, we will be posting some quick and fun questions. A new male survey is online and new questions will be posted every few days, so come back repeatedly. Won't you please help us out by answering them? They are completely anonymous. Click here to take this fun and interesting survey. These are different from our earlier, longer surveys.
If the question you asked isn't answered here, it might be on the Page of questions and comments about prone masturbation
Many older questions have been moved to one of these topic pages:
- Penis and anatomy
- Sexual response & puberty
- Fantasies, fetishes & unusual practices
- Sexual problems, aches & pains
- Sex with partners
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