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Reader questions about masturbation


I just wanted to thank you for and the wealth of honest, nonjudgemental information. It's helped me come to terms with my own needs and embrace masturbation more fully. I am straight and enjoy regular intercourse but I need to ejaculate often and in different ways and masturbation helps me attain that and sustain that now. We all need to masturbate a lot these days but some, including me, need honest information to allow us to get past our reservations and grab on. (age 27)

Always glad to help.

I am asexual. I also enjoy masturbating and do so daily. However, because I am asexual, I have no real desire to lose my virginity. I saw a question about being a virgin past 21 and read the chapter by Eva Margolies you recommended, but I donít feel that it really addresses the fact that some people donít really want to lose their virginity. (age 14)

It is very premature to declare yourself asexual at 14. Your body is still developing. You might not even be producing a full complement of sexual hormones and other sexual fluids at your age. Also, you report daily masturbation, which is at loggerheads with the notion that you are asexual (i.e., lack sexual attraction). Instead of being so quick to proclaim yourself asexual, why don't you work on developing your sexuality? Instead of deciding you're not attracted to anyone or anything, learn about things that might attract you someday.

It's good to not want to lose your virginity at 14. Give yourself a chance and maybe you'll want to when the time is right.

I am 31 and have been masturbating daily since I was 15. I canít get or maintain erections. I no longer get morning wood. How can I cure my ED?

Start by seeing a doctor to rule out organic causes of erectile dysfunction. The doctor will probably send you to a urologist and/or endocrinologist. One or more of those doctors will take blood and urine tests and possibly do semen analysis.

It is not unusual that you are no longer having frequent morning erections at your age. You ought to be able to achieve daily erections for masturbation and/or intercourse.

Is it safe to use essential oil body wash as lubricant? (age 15)

Anything that can be used on the skin is safe, but I doubt body wash is an effective lubricant.

Since my mom found my Playboy magazines in my room, I don't need to hide them anymore and I now keep them on my nightstand. She told me that she doesn't mind if I keep them in my room. Is it normal that I masturbate more frequently than before? (age 17)

You don't say what your masturbation frequency is, but most guys your age do it 5-9 times a week. That frequency is normal, healthy, and fun.

Is there any difference in the effect of masturbating with erotica and pornography? Sometimes when I masturbate, I feel pain in the area between my belly and my genitals, and I can have a hard time urinating even when I've been flaccid for a while. Is this normal? (age 13)

Most people say that arousal via words (erotica) is better than arousal via pornography. At your age, I think you should use neither and instead work off your imagination. Urinary trouble is highly abnormal at your age. I suggest drinking more water for a few weeks and see if the resulting increased urination takes care of your problems. If not, you might need to see a doctor. The doctor would probably start by analyzing a urine sample.

I first tried to masturbate last year, but I had no idea what to do. My dad never told me anything about masturbation. Recently I found and a managed to masturbate to orgasm, but I canít ejaculate. If I masturbate for a while, a small amount of clear liquid comes out of my penis. Do you have any tips to reach ejaculation? (age 13)

You might not be producing all the components of semen yet. When the clear liquid comes out, stroke as hard and fast as you can for a few minutes and see if it leads to ejaculation.

I've heard it's more relaxing in bed/lying down, but I'm not sure how I would clean up since now I just ejaculate into the carpet. (age 13)

You seem to have a narrow focus for someone so young. Most guys clean up with tissues or a rag like an old shirt kept on hand for that purpose. You obviously can't ejaculate into your carpet forever. You would find lying in bed much more comfortable and allow you greater range of motion. You'll certainly be having sex sometime after the next presidential election. Enjoy what you can do for now.

Will masturbating first thing in the morning make me less aroused during the day? (age 16)

Your arousal is apt to be less for a few hours after you masturbate. But if you're young, the effect might not last very long and you will be aroused again. Being aroused is good. Why do you want it to be less?

I donít masturbate often, only about once a week. Is that OK or should it be more frequent? I donít do it every day because there is never time when Iím completely alone and Iím afraid of getting caught. (age 14)

Frequent masturbation is good for you. Most boys your age masturbate daily, and you seem to want to do it that often. There is no reason to fear being caught. Your parents already know that nearly all boys your age masturbate. The older you get, the less you have to hide. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It is not something to be ashamed of.

Whenever I masturbate only one hour after my previous ejaculation, the orgasm is painful. This seems to only happen when I do that. Is this normal? (age 13)

Unfortunately, yes. You're straining your sexual parts by masturbating that often. Give your body a chance to recover from your previous session before you start another one.

I'm a virgin (no luck with women). I masturbate to porn daily, but when I miss a day or more, I start having major anxiety. Why does that happen? (age 31)

Masturbating is an excellent anxiety reducer, but you shouldn't having anxiety attacks just because you haven't masturbated lately. You might seek help from a doctor for your anxiety. I would also suggest working on finding sex with women. It's not too late.

What is the difference between hymen and vagina? (age 22)

The vagina is the organ that the penis inserts fully into during intercourse; and it is also where a baby passes through in getting born. The hymen is a thin membrane that partially covers the entrance to the vagina.

Is it OK for me to masturbate using the backhand technique? (age 16)

Yes, fine.

Is it good for cardiac and control of blood pressure by masturbating thrice weekly at 52 years of male? (age 52)

Masturbation is good, healthy exercise. I have never heard anyone say it causes cardiac risk. I have heard that it tends to lower blood pressure. Many men your age masturbate or have sexual intercourse a total of more than three times a week. I say go for it!

Should I participate in no-nut November and destroy dick December? (age 17)

Frequent ejaculation is healthy. Going all of November without ejaculating is no fun and is apt to be bad for you.

I masturbate naked. I do it to be free of clothes and want to see my chest and body. Is it normal to masturbate naked? (age 29)

Yes, very. Most people have an easier time getting aroused that way. Some even do it while watching themselves in a mirror. I call that mirrorbating.

I get massive headaches whenever I masturbate. What do I do about this? (age 18)

I would suggest seeing a doctor to rule a serious health problem. If they are occurring at the back of your head, just above the neck, they are apt to be muscle-tension headaches. Try masturbating in a different position (e.g. sitting, standing) and see if they go away.

I see you tell a lot of people that they are too young to have sex, but I don't know when it is physically not harmful. I'm a teenage boy so naturally I think about sex a lot and want to have it but I understand that I have to wait and not pressure someone else into it. I'm only 14 but I matured pretty quickly. I masturbated for the first time two weeks before my 11th birthday. What is your opinion on a safe age to have sex? (age 14)

The right age for sex is more than just about physical functioning. If you were able to have a firm erection and masturbate to orgasm two weeks before your 11th birthday, then you were physically able to have sex then. A boy or girl is not able to handle the other, emotional aspects of sexuality until later. Plus, there can also be consequences of early sexuality, not the least of which are pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Also, there is something called age of consent which means it can be against the law to have sex below a certain age, which varies from place to place. I always tell people who are not yet 16 that they're too young to have sex. I never tell people 18 or older that they're too young. At ages 16 and 17, some people are ready for sex and some aren't. Only you can decide.

I don't think I have precum. Does everybody have precum? Do I just not make a lot? I have honestly never noticed it. Not even during my first kiss (very recently!!!). Is it normal? If it isn't, is it bad or does it just not affect me? (age 14)

I teach that all males produce pre-cum, which is properly called Cowper's fluid or bulbourethral fluid. The time you're most likely to notice it is when you're very aroused for an extended period of time without engaging in actual penile stimulation. If you're aroused long enough (30 minutes or more), you will notice an actual flow of pre-cum, possibly enough to soak through several layers of clothing.

I've seen a few times you telling people, "you're too old to be a virgin." That is rude and judgmental. Sex is a personal choice, not something someone should do at a certain age, just because they feel they have to. Many people may also have reasons, like no sex until marriage, or maybe they have a history of sexual abuse. It's very insensitive. (age 23)

Would you please read this chapter by Eva Margolies for an understanding of why I believe men should never be virgins over age 21.

I've tried to masturbate using different strokes like just the shaft or just the head but I haven't really been getting any pleasure from it other than a few tingles and I usually become flaccid after a short period of time. I still have wet dreams though. What do I do? (age 14)

Keep trying. Find a thought that really turns you on and have that in your head next time you try.

What's the best way to masturbate for hours without rushing to orgasm? (age 27)

You can have an enjoyable session without stretching it out for hours and without rushing to orgasm. Try a session that lasts 15-20 minutes. That's what many males do. Going for hours is not good for you.

I'm a virgin. I love to masturbate a lot. I masturbate almost every day. What's the difference when you ejaculate from masturbation and from having sex? Which one is more pleasurable? (age 19)

They both feel good. You can better control what happens when you're masturbating and can make it more intense. When having sex, you have to work with your partner and think about her pleasure too.

Is there a way to speed up how quickly you orgasm? (age 16)

Most guys your age want to slow down their orgasms. If you want to speed it up, the best way is to make sure your mind is fully engaged in a sexual fantasy that arouses you. The more turned on you are, the easier it is to bring yourself to orgasm faster.

Is it OK to use lotion instead of lube? (age 18)

Yes, fine. Lotion is a form of lube. My point is that you would probably enjoy a water-based lube made especially for sex than an ordinary household product that contains oil and can be messy.

I am a really weird case. I can't ejaculate or reach orgasm with just my hands. I never could. I've trying to do it my entire adolescence. I had ideas of trying new things, such as an electric shaver (only for the vibration). Is this normal? Should I stop? I'm not getting any injuries. I'm more relaxed now and I can masturbate often. (age 19)

Vibration helps a lot of females reach orgasm, but it doesn't do much for men. I don't think that is your answer. I would suggest abstaining from masturbating for a week (perhaps longer) and then trying to masturbate by hand. It will be easier the longer it's been since your last orgasm.

I had wet dreams during high school. Then I learned masturbation at 15. I did it 2 or 3 times a week. At 19 I only masturbated about once in 15 days. At 20, I started masturbation while watching porn. In my all time masturbating, I used to ejaculate in 2 or 3 minutes. At 21, I met with a girl and tried to have sex but when she touched me, I started leaking pre-cum, and my erection slowed down, and I could not penetrate her. The next time I took Manforce 50 mg, and then I could penetrate her, but I lasted only 30 or 40 seconds after penetration. Now I masturbate only 1 or 2 times a month, and I still have wet dreams. What should I do to fix it so that I can reach ejaculation during real sex? Is it OK to masturbate with porn? (age 23)

You are not masturbating anywhere close to often enough. Most younger guys who are not sexually active masturbate every day. By still having wet dreams at your age, you are proving that you're not masturbating enough. You probably haven't done it often enough to have sexual control. For example, you gave up at your first intercourse when you had pre-cum. That is very normal, and if you had more experience masturbating and being with women, you would know how to handle that moment. 30 or 40 seconds is not ideal, but it is better than not reaching orgasm at all. Keep masturbating and having intercourse and work at being better at both. Most men use images to help them masturbate.

I have an amazing girlfriend who is just like me and I donít want to lose her doing something stupid. Iím having trouble keeping my fantasy life outside of my real life and I do stupid things when I get aroused. Iím worried that Iím going to cross the line with my perfect girlfriend and lose her. (age 14)

You're being pretty vague about what you might do to lose your girlfriend. Are you saying you're going to be sexual with a different girl? Are you worried you're going to say or do something that will alienate your girlfriend? Most people don't expect their relationships at 14 to last very long. Why don't you talk more with your girlfriend about things you should and shouldn't do.

I would just like to thank you for the information you provide. I've been pretty unknowledgeable about sex, because my dad didn't explain it very well to me. I used to get tingling sensations in my genitals when I glanced at women's clothing or a woman swimming and felt like I wanted to play with the area. I also poured body wash on my penis one time when I was young, and it erected like crazy.

A few years ago I stuck my penis into a glove, because it looked like it would feel nice for some reason. I did it for a few minutes before I felt a strong sensation in my pelvis, like I was about to sneeze. Only about 8 months ago did I start masturbating, and I felt awesome. I thought I was the only person in the world who did it, and I would feel guilty when I felt an extremely strong desire to masturbate. This website has really helped me to understand that masturbation is healthy and that all boys do it. (age 14)

You seem to have experienced a lot penis-wise for a young age. Be careful where you stick your penis. Thank you for reading

Should I request my parents buy me some lube and do you think I will get it? (age 16)

I don't know your parents. (At least I don't think I do.) What usually happens when you ask for something that costs between 88 cents and $10? Most guys your age would just go out and buy it themselves.

Thank you for your site. I masturbated for the first time today and had an orgasm. It felt great! (age 13)

Hooray! I hope the next 10,000 times also feel great!

I am sick with a cold. Is it OK to masturbate? (age 13)

It is a lot better than OK.

Do lots of people my age masturbate? (age 14)

The boys, almost all of them. The girls, more than half.

I've been reading through and some things stated as facts are wrong. (age 21)

Why don't you tell me what those are, and we can go from there?

Will my mom be angry or disappointed with me if she finds out I masturbate? What should I do? (age 14)

She probably masturbates herself or used to. She will not be angry or disappointed. She might even be happy that you have healthy sexuality and are keeping your sex organs in healthy functioning condition. She would be more likely to be angry or disappointed if, instead of masturbating, you were using girls for sex.

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.

My friend is very religious and he says that masturbation is bad and he hasn't masturbated for at least 2 years. He says that the only ejaculation he can have is a wet dream and that occurs to him once a month. Can he become underdeveloped in some way? Is there a risk of prostate cancer if he would not be able to have sex for next 5-7 years when he thinks he'll get married? (age 16)

I would have an easier time believing he's never masturbated than that he used to but quit. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. He should masturbate often and enjoy it. Why don't you have him read my page for Christians? The risk of prostate cancer is not an immediate one but long term. Males who masturbate most often when they're young have the least incidence of prostate cancer later. Most men are not married at age 21-23. Why does your friend assume he will be?

Follow-up from another reader: You found it hard to believe that the writer's friend had quit masturbating, but I disagree. When I was 12, I masturbated a few times. Then I stopped for nearly 2 years. I had a lot of wet dreams but I easily stopped masturbating for a while. (age 15)

You had not made masturbation a habit and were able to quit after only a few times. But then after two years, you took it up again and have now made it a daily habit. That is the point at which I have trouble believing a male could quit.

What is the actual way to masturbate supine? You never say. (age 13)

I say frequently. Supine means lying on one's back. The regular way is to lie supine (on one's back) and stroke up and down the penis with one hand. I suggest you read my Young Man's Guide to Masturbation.

I masturbate to this girl in a jeans ad whoís exposing her cleavage and lifting up her shirt. Is it OK to use this, because itís not really extreme or about sex, or should I use my imagination more? The only problem is that when I use my imagination, it doesnít really turn me on. (age 13)

I see nothing wrong with the ad. Work at finding more things you can imagine that will turn you on.

I just had a doctor's appointment and my doctor had a medical student working with him. My doctor asked if my mother and I if I minded her doing the exam as a part of her residency. My mother said it was OK and they told her she needed to remain in the room. So we went into the exam room. The student doctor asked me to stand and take my clothes off. I did so covering my junk. She asked me to lie on the table with my hands on my sides and she checked my belly and groin. I was so nervous being this naked. She then asked me to stand so she could check for a hernia and scoliosis. Her hands felt nice while I was coughing. She then asked me to turn around and touch my toes. She ran her fingers along my spine to my lower back. She then told me to stand up straight and tall. I was so embarrassed. My penis was getting hard and I was literally 2 feet in front of my mother. I tried not to look at her but I could see she was staring at my penis and it was growing. The doctor said good job get dressed. I did and left then room as fast as I could. Do you think my mom realized what happened to me and is it weird that I got turned on in the appointment? (age 14)

It would have been better if your mother hadn't been in the room. It is not unusual that you got aroused by a 20something female medical student examining you. Be glad everything checked out fine.

I used to be able to masturbate for up to 10 minutes, but nowadays I seem to only be able to masturbate for a couple of minutes before I have the urge to ejaculate. How can I prolong the amount of time which I use to masturbate? Does viewing porn have any effect on this? (age 15)

There is nothing wrong with masturbating to orgasm in only a few minutes. Just because you have the urge to ejaculate after two or three minutes doesn't mean you have to. If you're enjoying your session, channel your thoughts away from what is leading to your orgasm but maintain your erection. Stretching things out for a minute or two is apt to be fun. It is more in your control than you think. Viewing visual stimulation is usually done to make masturbation sessions shorter, not longer.

Today I was attempting to draw a simple erotic picture. During drawing I wondered: Do people masturbate to their own erotic art? Does that also cause the bad side effects of masturbating to porn? (age 13)

Yes, people do; and I don't think there's any harm to that. Drawing your own pictures is obviously a greater exercise of your imagination than merely imagining something.

I want to try masturbate with lotion. What part of my penis do I put it on? I'm uncircumcised and can fully retract my foreskin. (age 12)

Don't put it on your penis directly. Put it on your hand and then use your hand as you do.

I masturbate twice a week for about an hour to and hour and 30 minutes. Sometimes I decide to cum and sometimes I don't. If I decide to let go, I shoot lots of cum and it feels great and if I don't, I just enjoy the orgasm. Is it OK if I masturbate and don't cum? (age 29)

That is a bad way to masturbate. Most men and women say the ejaculation at the end is the best part. That is the goal of nearly all sexual activity. You're also taking an extreme amount of time, which is taxing your prostate. Most men masturbate more often than you do and get it over with in 5-15 minutes.

How can I introduce masturbation to my girlfriend? (age 16)

Do you want to talk about it, or do you want her to practice it? If you want to talk about it, just mention that you enjoy masturbating and do it ___ times a week. Then see what she says. You might find out she already practices it, or you might find out she's not even comfortable talking about it. If you're already being sexual together, you might try touching her gently the way she might like it if she did it herself.

Iím very attracted to my girlfriend and donít have trouble when Iím with her. But when I try to masturbate while fantasizing about her I have trouble focusing and getting to orgasm. Are there likely reasons and/or solutions to this? (age 20)

Many people are uncomfortable fantasizing about people they actually know and/or are sexually active with and prefer to fantasize about strangers, celebrities, and people who pose for nude photos. I don't know that there's anything wrong with that. If fantasizing about your girlfriend causes you dissatisfaction, then fantasize about some of the billions of other people.

I came across your site years ago and it helped me come to terms with my own masturbatory needs and embrace it. I'm straight and enjoy intercourse several times a week but masturbation fulfills another part of me and so I need that too. I occasionally masturbate with other guys who share my passion for it. My girlfriends over the years have all masturbated and have all admitted they masturbate with other girls but it's awkward for a guy to admit that so I have kept that part to myself. I wish guys could be as open about masturbation and mutual masturbation an girls. Can you comment on why the disparity and perhaps talk about the changing norms in that area? (age 26)

I have never asked about masturbating with other people on any of the surveys I've done on I don't perceieve that many people practice masturbation with friends and random people. Not even many people who are sexually active masturbate together. I even think it's unusual that all of your girlfriends have admitted they masturbate, because in my experience, a large share of women either don't masturbate or don't admit it.

When I masturbate, after 10-15 minutes, my muscles lock up and I don't ejaculate. Is this bad? (age 15)

I have to say that is bad. At your age, you should be masturbating to orgasm quite easily. Try to keep your erection while you get your muscles unlocked, then go back at it.

Each time I masturbate, I seem to last a lot longer than the last time. Is this bad? (age 13)

No, it isn't. Most boys your age seem to reach orgasm too quickly and wish they could last longer.

I am a virgin and unmarried and feel a strong desire to masturbate after 2-3 days without ejaculation but right after ejaculation, my desire goes down and I do not feel any excitement. Why does this happen? Do women also feel the same condition? (age 31)

Yes, that is called the refractory period. Both men and women experience it. But at your age, you should feel the desire again after a few hours. Most virgin men your age masturbate about daily. When you feel that strong desire, why not go out and meet women that you might want to have sex with? You're too old to be a virgin.

I have a lingering pain in my penis from a prolonged masturbation session two weeks ago. Nothing is visibly wrong, but I have a burning discomfort through the shaft and glans, even when flaccid. Erections have been uncomfortable, bordering on painful. I have an appointment with my urologist next week, but Iím terrified Iíve done something permanent. Iíve looked at articles online about ďbroken penisĒ but I really donít think thatís what Iíve done. Is this just a case of being too vigorous and inflaming the tissue? (age 52)

Let me know what the urologist says. Penile fracture is a possibility. If it were mere inflamed tissue, I would think it would be back to normal after two weeks.

Is white hair caused due by masturbation? (age 18)

No. All of the males and nearly all of the females your age masturbate. How many of them have white hair?

I love your web site! I've been masturbating since 11-12, and it felt great then! But now, I don't even get a leg-twitching, face-crunching orgasm. It feels like nothing! Then the second I reach orgasm, 1 or 2 seconds afterward, I ejaculate and then lose ALL feeling! So it's just 1-2 seconds of nothing. (age 14)

I think you might be anticipating having a nothing orgasm and then you get one. Don't expect all orgasms to feel leg-twitching, face-crunching. By definition, most are only average. It might help to masturbate less often than you do now and see if having only three orgasms a week instead of eight helps you have a more enjoyable orgasm.

I have masturbated since I was 15 or 16. I used to masturbate 4-6 days a week, on average, but now I do it 3-5 days a week, and I am a virgin. I want to have kids in the future and I am afraid my sperm will become less fertile. Do I need to cut down on masturbation? (age 20)

No. Masturbation is good for you and your fertility. Frequent ejaculation flushes out the oldest sperm from you and so the newer, better sperm remain. A male is more likely to impregnate a female if he's masturbated recently than if he hasn't. You ought to enjoy frequent masturbation and not worry that it will harm your fertility.

Ever since I started masturbating and being sexual active, I have felt like once I got aroused, I was already to ejeculate. I stopped masturbating because of this and now only ejaculate during sex. I still have the issue of awful premature ejaculation. I don't masturbate because it will affect my erection quality. (age 33)

You have it backward. Masturbating before intercourse is apt to make you last longer in intercourse. Why don't you try masturbating to orgasm a few hours before you next have intercourse?

I masturbate with a flaccid penis by rubbing/pushing it. Is that OK? (age 22)

No, that is bad. Only masturbate when you have a satisfactory erection. Pushing a penis sounds like prone masturbation.

I masturbated once, sometimes twice, a day for a month straight. Does this have negative effects? (age 14)

No. Almost all the boys your age do the same thing.

Iím starting to worry that I can only climax, or even get very excited, if thoughts about one certain girl from my past are involved. Is this possible? Has this happened to people before? Is there a way to overcome it? I really donít want this to be the case.

Itís also possible that I have trouble getting aroused unless itís to something that feels forbidden. Have you heard of this before and people overcoming it? (age 19)

People have been tempted by forbidden fruit since the Garden of Eden. It's better if you can get aroused by other things too. Yes, there are people who can only get aroused by one particular person. It's a problem if she's in your past and not your present. Why not work about finding more girls who can arouse you? There must be billions.

Is humping a pillow prone masturbation?

YES! It might be the most common form of prone masturbation.

I masturbate once a month. Is it OK? (age 16)

I have to say that it isn't. Most males your age masturbate about once a day. The ones who don't do it often do it about three times a week. Once a month is an extremely low frequency. Even males about your age who don't masturbate have wet dreams more often than that. See here to learn the health benefits of frequent masturbation.

I've only masturbated intentionally twice, one when I was 10 years old and the other one a few days ago. I usually get aroused very frequently and I really want to masturbate. However, I'm afraid of ejaculation, since I don't know what measures to take to avoid staining or wetting my underwear or surroundings. What do I do? The last time I masturbated I spilled out some precum, but I don't know if that means I'm not able to ejaculate. (age 13)

Don't be afraid of ejaculating. It will be one of the best experiences you will ever have. Most males only ejaculate about a teaspoonful of semen. With practice, you can control exactly where it goes, and with experience, you won't care if it doesn't go exactly where you want it to. Just have a cloth or tissue for cleaning up handy.

I started masturbating at age 14. Now I am 16 and cannot do it as long as I want to. Sometimes I last only a minute. Is this a medical problem? I masturbate once or twice a week.

Most boys your age masturbate daily. If you do it more often, it is apt to take longer. There is nothing wrong with ejaculating after only a minute or two. If it bothers you, work at lasting 1:30, then 1:45, then 2:00, and so on...

Suppose there are two males the same age, one of whom is masturbating and the other isn't. Which person is likely to get more sexual thoughts overall? (age 19)

I've never asked about "frequency of sexual thoughts" on one of my surveys here. Keep in mind there aren't any men your age who don't masturbate. If you were talking about 13 or 14 year old boys, I would expect the one who masturbates to have more sexual thoughts. Both masturbating and sexual thoughts are good things. I get the feeling you don't think so.

Why is it that I rarely get erections and when I do they are not fully erect? I have to stimulate my penis with my hands and kind of "play with myself" in order to get hard and I then quickly go soft. I resort to just grabbing my foreskin and not shaft in order to get somewhat hard. Why am I not getting fully hard naturally? Please help. This has been ongoing for several months. (age 16)

The problem you describe is typical for a man over 40 but is very rare at your age. I suggest seeing a doctor to rule out a serious physical condition.

I keep fantasizing about women who dominate me in really serious ways. I imagine them blackmailing me, humiliating me, manipulating me, etc. and often I have especially good orgasms this way. Is this unhealthy? Would it be better not to have these fantasies often, and if so how could I get as turned on by other things? (age 18)

Those are common fantasies. There is even a genre of erotica called B&D. It's not unhealthy to fantasize. But it would be good if you can get aroused by other things too, like simple nudity or thoughts of simple intercourse.

Iím trying to masturbate while fantasizing about my girlfriend, but for some reason it wonít work. It works when I fantasize about other women. Iím very attracted to my girlfriend so Iím not sure why this isnít effective. Is this a common thing at all? (age 19)

Yes, it is. Many males feel guilty about fantasizing about people they know. That is one reason fantasizing about women in nude images and celebrities are so popular.

Masturbating feels amazing, but I don't have the urge to do it every day and I'm still a virgin. Is it normal not to masturbate every day? I'm not against it. (age 17)

Most virgins your age masturbate daily, but plenty masturbate less than that. I think you're doing fine.

I'm getting circumcised because my foreskin doesn't retract. Any suggestions? (age 12)

If this has to happen, it's better to get it done now than wait until later. If you're already in the practice of masturbating frequently, ask your doctor if you'll be able to do it after the operation. Don't be afraid to tell the doctor that you masturbate. The doctor masturbates too.

After I masturbate, my penis gets really small. Is it normal? (age 13)

Yes, the smaller the better. That means your penis drained of blood effectively after your orgasm. Congratulations! At your age, you will probably be able to masturbate again in 15 minutes.

I am interested in buying a masturbation sleeve, except I donít want my family knowing. What is a good way to order it without them knowing? Also any tips for hiding it? (age 13)

I would suggest getting better using your hands for a few years before trying a toy. If you really want one, you can buy it with a Visa gift card. A package arriving for you in the mail will be less suspicious if you routinely get packages than if this is the only one all year. If you wrap it in a piece of clothing, it is unlikely anyone will find it.

I enjoy masturbating when I do it, which is about 3 times a week. I'm still a virgin. I feel like I'm wasting sperm when I ejaculate. I'm a weightlifter and I feel like jerking off will have an effect on my growth and size. Help me if im wrong please. (age 29)

You're wrong about many things. You should accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. You are too old to be a virgin. Most virgins your age masturbate daily. Masturbating does not waste sperm; it keeps your semen healthy. Masturbating is good exercise and will not affect your weightlifting. I suggest reading this page about the health benefits of frequent masturbation.

Does masturbating to still pictures of naked females have the same effects as masturbating to video porn? (age 15)

I believe that still pictures are safer because they leave more to your imagination. With video, the story is handed to you.

I just masturbated in the shower and the semen leaves a very strange texture on my skin. I think the best way to describe it is that my skin has gotten less slippery. Is this normal and is there a reason why this would happen? (age 14)

You might have been greasy for some reason and the semen washed some of it off? Might use more soap in the shower (for cleaning).

Does masturbating 2-3 times a day cause prostate cancer? (age 16)

A team of doctors led by Dr. Graham Giles surveyed a group of men with prostate cancer and an age-matched group of men without it and asked them questions about their sexual practices, including how often they ejaculated in various decades of their lives. They found that the men who ejaculated most often when they were younger had the least incidence of prostate cancer later. They reasoned that frequent ejaculation flushes the prostate and keeps it in healthy functioning condition and eliminates chemicals that might cause prostate cancer. Dr. Giles recommends that younger males masturbate at least six times a week. However, 2-3 times a day is an extreme frequency not evaluated by the Giles team's study. Most boys your age do it about once a day.

When I masturbate, usually it takes about 35 minutes to reach orgasm. How can I lower this? (age 18)

Try doing it only when you're really aroused. Focus on bringing yourself to orgasm. If you do that, you should be able to finish in 10 minutes or so.

I discovered today and have been reading it over. Congrats on making such a remarkable service for so many people. One thing I noticed while reading that concerned me was the age at which I developed seem to be radically different from everyone else. I never masturbated until I was 20. I didn't have much in the way of sex ed, and I didn't know how to do it and honestly wasn't super interested. I didn't have much in the way of sexual dreams or fantasies. I was interested in girls but in purely romantic ways, as opposed to sexual ways. I knew I was different from other guys but I never felt bad about it or anything, until I read over and over that every male starts doing these things way before I did.

I continued to develop late as my life went on. I didn't really get interested in girls in a sexual way until my mid 20's, and I was a virgin until I was 32. I am 42 now and have had sex three times with two partners. I didn't masturbate regularly until I was 22 or so, and now I typically do it 2-3 times a week. All this time I knew I was different but I never felt bad about it until I read your site. Why is it that I am so different?

You might not have anything to worry about, and you are not necessarily very different. You shouldn't feel bad about anything. It is possible your testosterone or other hormones are lower than normal. A doctor could do a blood test to determine that. Your frequency now is within the normal range for a man your age. Work at finding a regular sex partner. It isn't too late!

I jerk off two to three times a week without ejaculating. I just love to masturbate. I enjoy orgasm and I can go for more than an hour. When I feel I'm about to ejaculate, I stop. Is it good to masturbate and not ejaculate at the end? (age 27)

I have said many times that what you're doing is not at all good. You're being unnecessarily hard on your prostate and other sex organs. They want you to ejaculate, and sooner than you are. How do you enjoy orgasm if you're afraid to ejaculate?

How does masturbation impact testosterone levels? Is the impact different when masturbating to pornography? (age 15)

Masturbating or ejaculating in other ways does not affect your testosterone level. However, your testosterone level affects how often you masturbate or seek to ejaculate in other ways. Males with more testosterone ejaculate more frequently.

Sometimes I masturbate by opening the skin of my penis and gently rubbing it with my finger. Is it safe? (age 19)

Breaking skin is never safe. This is how infections start.

Iím in high school and for five years now, Iíve been sure that Iím bi. I want to experiment with another guy so badly. I donít want to have anal sex but Iím really turned on by the idea of masturbating together or sharing hand jobs or oral sex. Is it OK for me to do this at my age? (age 16)

In most places, you have reached the age of consent and can decide what kind of sex you'll have and with whom. I think it would be better for this kind of experimenting to happen with a guy about your same age instead of someone much older or younger.

I havenít masturbated the past 5 days because I have been staying in my brother's room due to renovations. I notice my right testicle has grown about twice its size. It feels great. Is this normal? My left hasnít grown much at all. Iím worried. (age 16)

A testicle will not double in size merely because you haven't ejaculated for five days. If you think something is really wrong, you need to see a doctor. Why don't you try masturbating at your usual frequency (in your brother's room or someplace else) and see if things go back to normal?

Is there any downside to daily masturbation at age 70 and over? (age 70)

No. Frequent masturbation is good for you. It will keep your sex organs in good function. Take a lesson from Ernest Borgnine, who lived to be 95.

When I masturbate, I usually stroke up and down the shaft a couple of times, then firmly and quickly press down on the base of my penis. Is this normal, or should I only stroke the shaft? (age 12)

Nearly all males stroke the shaft and lightly brush the head. The base has no role in this. Pressing firmly on it will also not help. Try to see how little force you need to bring yourself to orgasm. You are young and keep learning.

About 9 months ago I started secretly taking pictures of my crush and keeping them in my phone for when I wanted to masturbate. Yesterday I was showing my younger brother (who is 12) a different pic on my phone when one of my crush pics came up and I quickly moved on to another picture. He asked me who that was but I didnít answer. Do you think he knows what Iím up to? (age 14)

He probably has the idea that you're attracted to that girl, but he probably doesn't know you're using them to masturbate. Why not ask the girl out?

When I masturbate, with porn or other erotic material, I am able to climax within 5-10 minutes. When using only my imagination, climaxing takes 15-45 minutes. Is there any way to speed this up? Is it OK to use still pictures and erotic texts to masturbate, or should I not use them at all? (age 15)

It's completely up to you. I say to be able to get by with only your imagination at least some of the time. You've learned the most important function of visual aids: a timesaver during masturbation. If you can get aroused from still pictures and erotic texts, you're better off than those who can only get aroused from extreme videos.

I love your site. It has really helped me with some questions I had that I was too embarrassed to ask my mom about (since my dad left). (age 15)

Is it OK if I get my own semen in my mouth? Can I use my saliva as a lube to make my penis more slippery? (age 13)

Those are both OK.

Many sources that I found online all state that at my age, I should be waking up with morning wood every morning and that it will last for a while after waking up, but itís not the case for me. I used to have them frequently but now I only have them seldom. Is there something wrong with me? I heard itís an effect of porn. Could it also be because I wake up very early in the mornings? (age 15)

Morning erections decline after age 18. If you can erect when you want to, it is not a problem that you are not waking up erect. I recommend using less porn generally. Your time of waking does not matter.

What's the most guys have ever masturbated in one day? (age 14)

I asked over 10,000 people that very question in a survey once. Here is the result from 8479 males. The most common answer was four. The median answer was five. The average was 5.66.

Should I masturbate when I am home alone? (age 12)

If that's the best time for you to get to know yourself. Once you've started, you'll want to do it also when other people are home.

If I masturbate and get orgasm, my erection depletes and nothing happens. Around 5 minutes later, a clear sticky fluid comes out of my penis in waves and in small amounts.Iím concerned. (age 12)

It is normal for your erection to go detumescent immediately after your orgasm. The liquid that comes out afterward is semen that didn't get ejaculated. Nothing is wrong.

How much should someone my age masturbate? I do it every day and sometimes twice a day. I heard that doing it too much can numb your penis. Is that true? (age 18)

Your frequency is just fine. Masturbating frequently will not numb your penis, although the penis will be more sensitive after a few days with no friction.

I have typically masturbated while thrusting into a blanket while sitting up similar to the doggy style position. (age 15)

That is prone masturbation, and it is bad for you. I urge you to give that up.

Will applying turmeric or aloe vera gel on the glans penis cause any problems? I need to get rid of an infection. Do you know any home remedies to do so apart from going to the doctor? (age 14)

If you really have an infection on your penis, you need to go to the doctor. The doctor knows how to diagnose and treat that infection. It is one of the most sensitive parts of your body, and you want to be able to keep having fun with it for another 80 or 90 years. I doubt aloe vera gel would do any harm, and I doubt turmeric would feel good there. Neither will cure an infection.

I think Iím bisexual, but I donít really get turned on by girls that much. It happens occasionally but I get easily turned on by guys. Recently, Iíve stopped masturbating to gay porn and have switched to videos of girls only. It works and I can masturbate without thinking about guys. But it somehow doesnít feel right. Is it possible for me to get accustomed to masturbating to girls? I have also switched to jerking off with my left hand instead of right. I hope that it somehow tricks my mind into getting turned on by girls only. I just wanted to know if that is really possible? (age 15)

You report having mixed feelings. You say you don't really get turned on by girls but are able to masturbate with female images. It's good to be turned on by more than one thing and to masturbate to more than one kind of image. It's also good to be able to masturbate with either hand. I think you ought to find out where your sexual interests lie and not try to force something that doesn't work for you.

Whenever I look at a hot girl, something like thick water starts coming out of my penis. It's not ejaculate. Is it the symptom of something dysfunctional? (age 19)

You are about seven years too old to ask that. You ought to be familiar with pre-cum, or Cowper's fluid, by now. It is produced when you're aroused in anticipation of your having intercourse or a different kind of orgasm.

Is it bad to jerk off 5 times in one day, but regularly 2 times a day? (age 14)

Twice a day is not an unusual frequency at your age. I suspect by the time you're 16 or 17, you'll be down to once a day, or maybe 6-10 times a week. For most males, five times is the absolute most they've ever done it in one day, and that was probably only one day for them.

Lately my semen is thick and stringy and almost has the consistency of Jell-O. It's got a yellowish tint to it. It used to be more white and more like a liquid. Is there something wrong? I don't want to tell my doctor or anything. (age 15)

I hope you would tell your doctor if you thought something was wrong. From what you report, you haven't been ejaculating often enough lately. Try ejaculating at least 4-5 times a week and see if your semen gets more like a white liquid.

I read that teenagers around my age are supposed to wake up with an erection every morning. Iím not getting one every morning and only get them rarely. Is there something wrong with me? Is there a way to have them more often? I used to have them more when I was younger. (age 15)

You're right about how it is for 15-year-old boys. Erections decline starting at about age 18. You seem much too young for that. I would suggest getting the doctor to check your testosterone level.

Can masturbation be a cause of lower back pain or knee stiffness or joint stiffness? (age 19)

Anything you do can cause those things. I think masturbation would be good for knee or joint stiffness (it's exercise), but unfortunately, yes, masturbation can cause lower back pain.

My girlfriend gave me a handjob and I ejaculated and then I fingered her about 15-20 minutes later. Iím worried I might have gotten sperm on my hand and then fingered her but Iíve read that sperm dies after 2 minutes outside of the body. If so what are the odds of her getting pregnant. (age 16)

If she gets pregnant, 100 percent. Sperm can live longer than two minutes. That was not safe to finger her with semen on your fingers, even 15-20 minutes later. Always wash your hands before fingering her.

I have heard that masturbation affects your brain and memory and might lead to hair loss. I masturbate 8 or 9 times a week. How much of this is true? My hair loss has increased. Is this because of masturbation? (age 24)

If masturbation has any effect on your brain or memory, it is good for them. It is good for your body to be kept in good physical condition, which masturbating helps provide. Hair loss is genetic. If you don't have the gene for baldness, then you won't go bald. If you have it, there are treatments like Minoxidil that can help you keep your hair. Masturbation doesn't cause hair loss, but they aren't completely unrelated. Hair loss is accelerated by testosterone. You seem to have a lot of testosterone, which is why you masturbate more than once a day. Guys with more testosterone masturbate and have sex more and also lose their hair faster, if they have the gene to do so. I suggest you check out treatments for hair loss, like Minoxidil, and enjoy masturbating while you do so.

I want to masturbate with my friend but how do I ask him if he wants to? (age 14)

I really think it's better if you don't.

I masturbate weirdly. I place my penis on top of my thighs and press on my shaft. Is this prone masturbation? (age 14)

That is not prone masturbation, but as you point out, it is weird. Masturbating like that will not make it easy for you to reach orgasm in other ways, like inside a partner. Males who masturbate by stroking gently up and down the penis have the best success in sexual intercourse. I suggest you stop the shaft-pressing thing.

Can I masturbate prone if I use a toy vagina with lots of lube? Or will my penis still get damaged somehow? How does doing it prone damage the penis? (age 25)

The damage caused by prone masturbation is not usually to the penis itself but in your head. A male who masturbates prone gets too accustomed to the tremendous force that prone masturbation delivers. The force of the gentle stroking action of regular masturbation is more similar to force of thrusting in and out of a partner's vagina than prone is.

When I masturbate in bed, I put a towel underneath myself so when I ejaculate, I get no stains on the sheets. Is it OK to put the towel back on the radiator to use after a shower or to ejaculate again? (age 13)

I would use a separate towel for that, but it really doesn't matter.

I'm wondering if I can start masturbating at my age or if I have to wait until I'm older. It would be mortifying to ask that of my parents. (age 12)

More boys start masturbating at age 12 than any other age. There is no reason to ask your parents.

A few days ago, I masturbated 3 times. I usually have a large volume of semen when I ejaculate but since that day, my semen volume has dropped. Instead of 3-4 squirts, I now have only 1-2 squirts. Sometimes there are no squirts and it just oozes out. (age 15)

You didn't hurt anything by masturbating three times one day. You never measured your semen volume accurately. Don't worry about that and instead enjoy yourself.

I masturbate by hand almost every day but occasionally I masturbate prone. Should I stop? (age 16)

Yes. Masturbating prone will do you no good and will probably cause problems. It's not worth the risk.

Iíve been masturbating since I was 13. I still manage to get a good stiff erection just thinking about sex, using porn and fingering my penis. I still masturbate, have pleasurable orgasms and ejaculate semen. (age 66)

Thank you for your inspiring report.

Recently, I woke up in the middle of the night and didnít go back to sleep, so I ended up masturbating to erotica and a porn videos online. I noticed that while I was masturbating, my erection was weaker than it usually was and my penis wasnít as hard. It would start to become flaccid if I stopped stroking the foreskin. I am worried. Is this because I have been masturbating to too much porn and that I am starting to suffer from ED, which I heard is a side-effect of viewing porn? Or is it because I was masturbating having woken up in the middle of the night and was just quite tired? I have been viewing porn videos since I was 11 and I recently noticed that some porn videos and erotica donít excite me as much anymore. If I am suffering from the side-effects of porn, are there any ways to remedy them? Thank you! (age 15)

Nearly all men can tell of waking up early and masturbating to help them get back to sleep. You give a lot of reasons why I urge younger readers to use their imaginations instead of porn. You are pretty young to find that some videos don't excite you anymore. I would urge you to make it a priority to be able to reach orgasm using only your imagination and only using videos occasionally.

Is it true that if I always shower with hot water, I will suffer from low sperm count in the future as my testicles will be unable to produce as much sperm? Does showering with hot water also boost penile growth? (age 15)

I've heard it said that men having semen analysis should avoid bathing in hot water or hot tubs before producing their sample, but I've never heard that about shower water. Shower water only flows down the body, you know. It's not the same as soaking in it. Showering with hot water or cold water will make no difference in your penile growth.

Are videos of people masturbating considered porn, even if they are people of the same gender masturbating? (age 16)

Masturbating is a sex act, and a video of it is considered to be porn, regardless of the gender of the people in it.

Is it normal for me to get an erection as often at 20 as it was going through puberty? I'm a college student and I am always getting an erection, sometimes a couple minutes before the lecture is over and we leave class.

I usually wear shorts or sweats but even with jeans, my erection is still noticeable. I don't know what I can do to hide it. I wear boxers but usually my penis works its way out of the fly, or if the fly is off to the side, it just points out. Not only do I have the erection problem, sometimes I have a noticeable precum spot on my pants if they are lighter colored, like light gray sweats. If I wear tighter jeans, I get an erection and it just hurts because I have no room.

It's awkward having to get up and carry my bag in front of my crotch until my erection goes down. The last time I did that I dropped my bag by accident and my erection was there for everyone to see. Nobody said anything but it was very awkward.

Sometimes I'll masturbate before class but I still get an erection. Other times I will go to the restroom to do the deed, but I hate doing that because I like to masturbate in complete privacy even though I'm in a stall, so it takes longer for me than usual to reach orgasm if I do that. (age 20)

Erections are good. You should enjoy them and be glad you're having them frequently. You shouldn't will them away or be ashamed of them. You don't need to masturbate every time you get an erection.

I would suggest switching from boxers to briefs. It is a lot harder for an erection to poke through briefs. I promise no one is looking to spot your erection or your precum spot. Instead of holding a bag in front of yourself, why not drape a jacket of your arm. It's less awkward.

What is the average age for a male to lose virginity? (age 14)

Age 18.

I'd like to thank you for helping me learn about masturbation. I had my first orgasm today. I had been masturbating for a couple of minutes. I felt my penile muscle tension increase and a wake of a cold amazing feeling over my body, then my semen lightly dripped out, which I was fine with because it felt AMAZING. Are there any web sites that aren't like porn that are milder, and just clothed/naked woman? Thank you for teaching me to discover masturbation. (age 14)

Congratulations. I think you would enjoy

I've been reading your site for a while now and I think it's really good. I've been masturbating since I was in eighth grade. I was really thrilled by it and started doing it a lot. I'm gay so I used to receive lots of sexual stimulation from TV commercials and also from gay porn. Also, I am in a boys' school so whenever I saw shirtless guys in the sports field, I used to get turned on. I think I got addicted to masturbation and started doing it on a daily basis. I used to do it 2-3 times a day, sometimes even more. There were times when my parents would be asleep and I would be jerking off to some tv ads on the couch. I would masturbate very roughly through my pants. I have stopped the rough masturbation now and I use oil as lube. That has also stopped the pain and my sex drive has increased as well. I also have a greenish layer around my penis opening. I don't know what it is. I'm scared that it might be an STD, but I've never had sexual contact with anyone. (age 15)

Masturbation is not an addiction. Your frequency is somewhat high. I recommend seeing a doctor to examine your penis for possible infection. There are other kinds of infections besides STDs, you know. I also think you would enjoy water-based lube more than oil-based.

I've masturbated many times, but I don't think I've ever orgasmed. After doing it for a few minutes, my penis always feels numb, and it gets slightly painful after a while, and it feels good, but I think I'd know if I had an orgasm. Maybe I actually have, but I'm not sure. Nothing's ever come out. (age 14)

If you don't think you've had an orgasm, then you haven't. You would know. At your age, you ought to be able to ejaculate. If you aren't ejaculating by age 15, see a doctor. Masturbating should not make your penis feel numb or painful. Use less force.

Someone said is it possible to masturbate with just the glans. I can only get satisfaction from the glans, and none from the shaft. Is this normal and OK? I used to prone masturbate, but not anymore. (age 14)

You should enjoy stroking the shaft, and most males do, and unless they're using lube, they only brush lightly against the glans, or more specifically, the coronal ridge (the widest part of the penis). Spend some time working on the shaft and learning to enjoy the feelings you get from stroking it.

I have been masturbating once a day for a few months now, and my penis hurts afterward for a few hours. Is that normal? (age 12)

No, not at all. You're using too much force. Try to see how little force you can use and still bring yourself to orgasm.

I masturbate sometimes in a condom, and wash it every time. Should I only use it once, or re-use it after washing it? (age 13)

Modern condoms are designed to be used only once. After one use, it is no longer safe to use as a contraceptive or for the prevention of disease. I doubt you'll hurt yourself by masturbating with a reused one, but I won't say it's impossible. There could be bacteria living in a washed condom.

I was circumcised 2 days ago because of my phimosis. I forgot to ask my doctor about masturbating, although my penis hurts when ANYTHING touches the unbandaged part, so I wouldn't be doing it anyway. But it's starting to kill me. I used to masturbate every day and I had my first wet dream ever last night. I don't know what to do. (age 13)

I have no idea why you can't ask your doctor now or at a follow-up visit.

Follow-up: The doctor said I have to keep my hands off it for 4-6 weeks. I don't know if I can go that long.

The doctor has obviously dealt with this situation before. Ask him if he has any suggestions. In the meantime, learn to enjoy your wet dreams.

I suggest you insert a table which consists of age group and the recommended frequency of masturbation. (age 15)

age group
recommended frequency of ejaculation
not necessary
six times per week
five times per week
four times per week

Will masturbating benefit me later in life? Is it OK to do it at a very young age? (age 14)

Yes. I predict masturbating will benefit you every day or close to it for the next few decades of your life. It is OK to do it at any age, and you're already past a very young age. You're past the age most males start masturbating.

The skin of the scrotum, dartos, usually becomes darker, a reddish brown, when a boy starts producing testosterone at pubertal levels. This process also occurs in girls and leads to the darkening of their labia. You have an outstanding site, which has a great deal of factual information for teens. (age 63, medical doctor)

Thank you for that information. I will add it to the puberty page, but I don't think many boys notice the color of their scrotum before puberty.

I asked my friend (who is also 15, like me) about his masturbation frequency and he said that he masturbates 2-3 times a week. I told him that is too low. I said I masturbate once a day and said, ďbro, I thought that you were innocent but you masturbate?Ē How do I tell him that he should masturbate more often? (age 15)

I think you did by telling him you masturbate once a day. Perhaps you could suggest he read too, where I point out on nearly every page that frequent masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.

I don't want to be gay, but when I masturbate, I sometimes picture myself with other boys. I hate it when I accidentally think about one of my friends or classmates, and it discourages me from masturbating. What is a good way of turning yourself on without doing letting your imagination run wild? (age 13)

Just because you have occasional fantasies about other males doesn't mean you're gay. You said you "sometimes" fantasize about boys. What about the rest of the time? Even if you are gay, that's not something bad. It's just the way some people are. Instead of restricting your imagination, let it run even more wild. That's how you'll learn what really turns you on.

I have had a girlfriend for 3 years now and our relationship is cringy because we haven't kissed or talked about anything sexual apart from one time that we were talking about boys our age masturbating and I told her that it's normal. She acted like she was disgusted but kept on asking me questions about the topic so I feel she was interested. Since then we haven't talked about anything regarding masturbation or orgasms. Is it weird for me to want to talk to her about certain topics and most importantly should I go in for the kiss or not because I personally think that my girlfriend wants me to kiss her but when I have asked her about why we haven't had our first kiss yet, she says that she is not ready yet. What should I honestly do, because I love her but also want our relationship to get sexual. Neither of us have been sexually active. I am 14 and she is 15.

You will probably last longer masturbating to only your imagination as opposed to images. An hour is an extreme length of time for a masturbation session. Most boys your age have it over and done with in five minutes.

Your girlfriend has said she's not ready for kissing, so don't kiss her until she says she's ready. It is not weird for you to want to discuss sexual topics with her. She seems to enjoy those discussions anyway.

Does masturbating once a week affect my testosterone dramatically? (age 17)

It's a question whether it affects it at all. Most males your age masturbate daily and enjoy it greatly.

Is it possible to masturbate by just stroking the head of the penis (glans)? (age 16)

Yes, but most males enjoy stroking the shaft. The glans gets sensitive very easily.

I am circumcised but my family has never been religious at all. Was there a problem with my penis when I was born, or did the doctor advise for me to be circumcised because of some health problem? (age 12)

It was routine for males to be circumcised at birth from about 1940 into the 2000s. Very little of this was for religious reasons. This has been happening less lately because of greater concern for preserving the anatomy intact, and also because insurance companies don't always pay for insurance anymore. It is very unlikely that there was anything wrong with your penis when you were born.

How can I completely avoid and overcome masturbating to porn? I want to do so because I read here that its bad. Does erotica poses no consequence? I heard that it's just as bad as visual porn. Is that true? Should I still masturbate to it? (age 15)

At your age, you ought to be able to masturbate to orgasm by using only the images in your head. It's best to do it that way. If you need external stimuli, text is better than still photos which are better than video.

Last Friday I was diagnosed with bell-clapper deformity and was told that I had testicular torsion twice and that it resolved itself but that I almost lost my testicle. My surgery is not for another four weeks. I would like to know if you have any tips on preventing it or any heads up about recovery.

I am also getting circumcised because my foreskin doesn't come back. How will this affect my masturbation shortly after surgery? What do I need to know? (age 13)

Torsion is a medical emergency, so you should be thankful it's under control. Ask your doctor what you should do to recover. Follow his advice. Don't be afraid to ask him about masturbating. Remember, he masturbates too.

I started masturbating supine, and it feels good, better than prone did. But it hurts afterward. My penis is sore when touched. Is this normal when switching to a new type of masturbating? (age 13)

You want to avoid touching the head unless you're using lube.

I havenít ejaculated though I masturbate and have gotten pre-cum. I have tried fantasizing about this girl naked and can get an erection. What does an orgasm feel like? Is there any non-porn media that I can use to help my imagination? Is it normal for me to have dreams of girls giving me oral sex? I love your web site! Youíre a very informative man! (age 13)

If you've gotten pre-cum, you should be able to ejaculate. Keep stroking after the pre-cum and keep thinking about what turns you on. An orgasm feels like a wave of sensation that radiates outward from your genitals. In males, it is usually accompanied by ejaculation. There are sites with photos of fully or scantily clothed females, but that is not what I mean by using your imagination. Your imagination seems very good for 13.

What are the benefits of masturbating to naked pictures? (age 21)

Mostly it saves time.

I masturbate regularly 3-4 days and then stop for 4 days. Then do it again. Is it OK? (age 15)

You are very young. It might not matter at your age. I would tell a male older than you to space his ejaculation out more evenly as it is better for the prostate gland.

Please can you explain how it is possible that such a web page exists in 2018 that has no censorship of thematic discussion but is apparently so prudish and repressed that it can't show a photo of a penis or male anatomy? As a model and naturist this is profoundly disappointing. (age 24)

This is an educational and health promotion site. I don't need photos of penises or other genitalia to make my point. People who want those photos can easily find them on the Internet.

When Iím getting changed before athletics, I get nervous about other boys seeing my body. All the other boys there are younger than me and they havenít reached puberty and sometimes I get small erections. Is this normal? (age 16)

When you're nervous, it seems it ought to be more difficult for you to get an erection. Don't think about erections. Just get about getting changed and think about what you'll be doing sportswise. Another trick is to bring on an erection 20 minutes before you need to get changed. When the time arrives, your erection will be gone and you won't get another for at least an hour.

I know that porn is bad, but are erotic images like Playboy OK? I want to schedule my masturbation and try not to overdo it. I also want to eliminate porn for now, but slowly. Is once every other day good? Once with erotic images and once without? (age 13)

You're pretty young to be using images at all. You should be able to get by on your imagination and not need external images. Playboy is obviously better than Internet porn but both are less than using your imagination. See if clothed girls like can work for you.

At my school, masturbation seems to be a touchy subject. Most of the time it's joked around with by other boys. My friends have talked about it once, but it made me extremely curious. How can I talk about it to others without making it awkward? (age 13)

Masturbation is the one subject that is almost guaranteed to make people awkward. It will be less awkward if you make the topic generic instead of focused on personal questions. For example, you could say to one of your friends, "I've heard a lot of boys at our school joking about masturbation." This is apt to be a better conversation starter than, "Have you ever masturbated?"

Do you need to shower after masturbating? (age 14)

No. Most people don't even wash their hands.

I sleep sideways and hug a pillow, or sometimes I lie face down; rarely do I lie face up. Is it true that this inhibits the growth of the penis? (age 15)

No. Don't worry about that at all.

I like the way you approach the questions. You have so much knowledge to give people. I really loved reading about it all. Currently I am doing research on the topic 'Discovery of masturbation in males.' I am not able to find a concrete source for this information. I would like you to guide me regarding the same. (age 21)

I suggest you start by reading some of this page of survey queries from my readers. The page is self-explanatory.

I was wondering if there are certain things I should try and fantasize about while masturbating. I used to use porn but stopped when you said you didn't recommend it. (age 13)

Take note of people who arouse you or whom you find attractive. Then think about them later. Explore your imagination.

I just masturbated and ejaculated for the very first time. Something red was in the middle of the semen! Is this OK? (age 12)

Congratulations on your achievement! If it only happens once, then don't worry about it. If it happens repeatedly, see a doctor.

I have this odd throbbing feeling in my penis, similar to the throbbing after climaxing. It happens mainly when I'm about to climax but stops right before; other times I just feel it randomly and especially when I'm lying in bed. There is no pain or discomfort. It just feels like my perineum is pulsating, some sort of muscle spasm. I once asked a physician about it and he told me there was no reason to worry and to just ignore it. When I was a teenager, it used to make me climax when I'm trying to delay it, which was very frustrating but it's become much more controllable now and doesn't really bother me. I just want to understand what causes this. (age 22)

If it's been bothering you for that long, I suggest consulting a urologist. You didn't say anything about being sexually active. Does the problem interfere with intercourse, or have you never been sexually active?

Follow-up: I have never been sexually active.

Go see the urologist, and at the same time, make a plan for becoming sexually active. You're too old to be a virgin.

I have started working out. But I can't stop masturbating. I do it once a day. Is it OK? (age 20)

It is a lot better than OK. It is good exercise. You should enjoy it and not try to stop. Good luck with your workout routine. Keep in mind that all the guys at the gym masturbate or are sexually active too.

Should I properly wash my hands with soap and water before I masturbate? (age 15)

It depends on what is on your hands. I've always thought it's more important to wash them after you masturbate.

I've been masturbating for about two years now. When I stroke my penis, it doesn't feel good or bad. Only when I'm about to ejaculate and then have an orgasm does it feel good. Is the stroking part supposed to feel good? I've heard that it does so I'm confused. (age 14)

Yes, stroking during the arousal phase is supposed to feel good. It might be you're using too much force and inhibiting your pleasure during that phase (which accounts for 90% of the time of a sexual session.) I would suggest using a water-based lube if you're not already and working at using less force. Enjoy the whole session!

Will I lose my virginity if I suck my own penis? (age 14)

No. The only way you can lose your virginity is by having intercourse with another person.

I ejaculated 3 times in one hour. I masturbated and ejaculated once but then felt like I needed more so I masturbated again and ejaculated again and same with the third time. This is not the first time this has happened. (age 14)

Enjoy it while you can. It might be less than a year before you won't be able to masturbate that many times in short succession.

Do you think the Apollo astronauts masturbated on the moon? (age 26)

Only twelve men visited the moon, in pairs. They weren't there for very long, and they were wearing bulky space suits. I am inclined to believe that the first lunar masturbation has yet to occur. However, people obviously masturbated on the space shuttle and at the International Space Station.

When everything is OK, but at the end when the feeling comes, it recently lasts not as long as it usually would. Does being nervous effect this because recently I'm worried because of this and when the feeling comes I think about something. (age 13)

I suspect you have a hangup because you avoided using words like masturbation and orgasm in your message. Being nervous will make it more difficult to have a satisfying orgasm. Learn to relax. Accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Try vocalizing (making sounds) at the point of orgasm. Most males and females say they enjoy orgasm more when they do.

Do male identical twins start masturbating at the same time? Or do they even talk about it? Since they're very close each other and have a strong bond, do they masturbate equally? (age 15)

That's the most interesting question I've been asked in months. I don't have any research specifically on that point. A team of researchers studied the orgasmic frequency of female twins and found that identical twins were more similar in their orgasmic ability than fraternal twins. (Kate M. Dunn, Lynn F. Cherkas, and Tim D. Spector, "Genetic influences on variation in female orgasmic function: a twin study," Biology Letters, September 22, 2005, pp. 260-263.) Since your question is about males, you should probably be aware that males in general start masturbating around the same age (average 12.25), much more so than females who start masturbating over a much wider time frame. I don't know if anyone doing studies of twins has asked about masturbating in as much detail as would be required to answer that.

If I masturbate prone just once, will anything bad happen? I've never tried it and I'm just curious how it feels. I masturbate regularly the right way. (age 12)

The only bad thing that could happen from masturbating prone once is that it will lead you to making it a habit. Males who have spent years overcoming their burdensome history of prone will tell you to never start.

When I masturbate, my semen only leaks out. I'm wondering how to make it shoot? (age 15)

If you can delay your orgasm (hold it with your PC muscle) for one second when it's about to happen, pressure will build up and it will shoot out more. Practice makes perfect.

How can I ejaculate more when masturbating? (age 19)

Semen volume is apt to peak after about three days. If you're OK waiting that long, you're likely to have more volume in your ejaculate then.

Is it OK to talk about masturbation with my friends? (age 14)

Yes. It's also OK to not want to talk about masturbation.

I have had sex but I have never ejaculated during intercourse. I have had two very intimate relationships and between my previous partners I never ejaculated. I have masturbated many times and have had no problem reaching my orgasm on my own. I would like your opinion/advice on the matter. (age 16)

You ought to be ejaculating with your partners. You might have a mental block that is keeping you from ejaculating, or you could have an organic problem. Have you read my page about masturbating prone? If you don't have a history of prone masturbation, it might be worth getting checked out by a doctor.

I only masturbate about 2-4 times a week. Is it abnormal to masturbate at such a low frequency? I heard boys my age masturbate at least once a day. (age 14)

I hesitate to call it an abnormal frequency at your age, because some boys your age haven't even started yet. But you heard correctly. Most boys your age masturbate at least once a day.

Is masturbating every month good? (age 19)

Masturbating is very good, but masturbating only once a month is not at all good. Most men your age masturbate about once a day. Frequent ejaculation is good for your prostate gland and other private parts.

Are there any effects to a 24 year old male masturbating more than once? (age 24)

More than once at a time? No. More than once a day? No.

When is masturbation considered an addiction? (age 48)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for sexual health. Some worry they do it too much; very few people masturbate at the level of compulsion. The definition of compulsion (DSM-V 300.3) states that compulsive behavior is that which the individual does to reduce stress; takes more than an hour a day; and significantly interferes with the individual's "normal routine, occupational (or academic) functioning, or usual social activities or relationships." Also, the person must have recognized at some point that the behavior was excessive or unreasonable.

I recently started masturbating and I can't get to ejaculation. I'm also afraid of getting caught by my parents. Should I tell them I masturbate? (age 11)

Keep trying. You are young and might not be ejaculating for a year or two. There is no reason to tell your parents or to fear them catching you.

Is it OK to tell my 12-year-old brother about masturbation? (age 14)

Yes. He would probably be happy if you did.

I am a 41-year-old single man. I masturbate twice a week. Is it normal or am I a sex addict?

No one believes that masturbating twice a week makes someone a sex addict. Your frequency is much lower than normal for an adult man with no sex partners. Most men in your situation masturbate 4-8 times per week. I would suggest finding a partner, and if that isn't working out, then masturbating more often. Frequent ejaculation is good for sexual health.

Is it OK to masturbate at my age? How many times a day? (age 12)

Yes, 12 is the most common age for boys to start. I don't think anyone believes twice a day is too often at your age.

Iím physically disabled and have weak hands. How can I masturbate? Should I try one of the masturbation sleeves? I wish there was sex rehabilitation in addition to my physical rehab because this is so frustrating. (age 18)

I often recommend the Super Head Honcho sleeve. It sells for about $15 so it wouldn't cost you much to try it. Have you tried asking anyone about getting help specifically for sex and masturbation? Devices and toys are made for the disabled. This document might give you some ideas how to start:

Do boys have to masturbate? (age 13)

Not at your age, but everyone who isn't will be by age 18, and probably much sooner. Another way to answer your question: Yes, eventually.

Is it possible that a medication could make me not able to get it up? (age 27)

Yes, that is very possible. Even common pills like aspirin and ibuprofen can impact erectile function in large enough doses.

Masturbating in the shower feels much different from masturbating while lying in bed. Does the water decrease sensitivity or something? It takes a lot more time and effort to reach orgasm in the shower. My penis feels much less sensitive under the water. (age 16)

Yes, all that water makes a difference if it is raining down on your penis while you're trying to have an orgasm. Try keeping your back to the stream and see if it's any easier.

Your advice for obtaining variety in male masturbation states incorrectly that condoms and their wrappers are flushable. They are NOT. They easily plug up sewer lines. Any waste management authority will disagree with you. (age 43)

Hmm... I think I will fix that.

Is masturbation more fun for boys or girls? Does circumcision ruin a boy's sex life? (female, age 14)

According to a survey of over 10,000 males by in the second half of 2007, the average male rated masturbation 7.92 out of 10. The average male in the survey currently masturbated 6.77 times per week. According to a survey of over 3000 females by in 2007-08, the average female rated masturbation 7.95 out of 10. The average female in the survey currently masturbated 19.6 times per month, or 4.78 timer per week. Those figures are pretty close. I think we can say that, at least among readers, males and females both find masturbating to be a lot of fun. According to the same survey of males, here are the differences between circumcised and uncircumcised males. The survey had 6006 circumcised and 3718 uncircumcised males.
per week
average age
1st intercourse
current orgasms
per week
with partners
scale 1-10
scale 1-10
average minutes
to orgasm
in masturbation
circumcised 6.6
1.36 7.98
8.86 11.5
uncircumcised 6.99
1.29 7.87 8.77 10.5

I think we can conclude that circumcision does not ruin a boy's sex life.

My girlfriend feels horny during her period and wants me to have sex, but I don't want her blood on my penis, even with a condom. What should I do? Do all girls feel horny during their period? If yes, why? (age 22)

No. Females are split on that almost perfectly. About as many want to masturbate or have intercourse on their period as do not. The important thing is that your girlfriend is one of those who wants it. She puts up with your semen; perhaps you could decide you can put up with her blood. And you can wash it off afterward.

I really appreciate the way you respond to people who tell you they're questioning their sexual orientations because they sometimes look at pictures of people of their own genders while they masturbate. They need to stay open-minded and not label themselves if they don't feel ready to yet. I'm a gay man and having someone tell me that I might not be straight, but it was OK to take my time with it all would have made my life so much easier. Your site was the first time someone ever said being gay might not be the worst thing I could do. Please keep telling those kids that they may or may not be straight, but they don't need to rush. Please keep telling them they'll be OK either way. It's so important for LGBT and questioning youth.

Every time I masturbate using my imagination purely, I have to touch myself to get aroused, and sometimes even that doesn't work. My imagination doesn't seem reliable at times, though it can give me an erection if I'm not distracted. Is there something wrong with me? I read here that guys my age should be easily aroused. Is it because I have seen or read too many erotic videos that I am experiencing some form of erectile dysfunction? (age 14)

Hold on! It is not "erectile dysfunction" that you need to touch your penis to get an erection. That is how it usually works. You can't "will" yourself to have an erection. Masters & Johnson proved that. If it seems like you can, it's because you have so many erections when you're young. Having said that, as I frequently say, at your age, you should be able to masturbate to orgasm from your imagination alone and not need any video help. Work at that.

Is masturbating twice a day and sometimes three times a day too much? (age 14)

At your age, no. At any older age, probably. Read on.

I masturbate 3 times a day, every day of the week. It's not interfering with my social life or causing me any injuries. I also don't masturbate to porn. Is this frequency of masturbation abnormal or harmful? (age 14)

Three times a day is an extreme frequency even at 14. Why not cut down to twice a day and see if your social life improves? By 16, I would expect you to be down to once a day or perhaps 7-10 times a week.

Sometimes precum randomly comes out of my penis 5 to 10 minutes after masturbating. How can I make the problem goes away? (age 17)

That is not precum and it is not random, and it isn't a problem. Some semen remains in your urethra after you ejaculate and usually doesn't come out until you stand up. Be ready to catch it when it happens.

Every time I sleep naked, I get aroused and wind up masturbating. How can I just sleep naked and not feel compelled to masturbate? (age 14)

Most guys your age masturbate about once a day anyway. I really don't see what the problem is. You will get used to the feeling of sleeping naked and it won't arouse you every time eventually.

Is it normal to have a strong preference for masturbating to nudes and simple GIFs over actual videos? All my friends, male or female, gay or straight or bi, prefer videos. Am I a weirdo? (age 19)

No, not at all. It's a good sign that you prefer still photos to videos. Too many people want the video to do all the work for them. With a still photo, you exercise your imagination more. The problem with videos is that it's less about the imagination and more about what's happening in the video. With a still photo, you can imagine whatever you want happening with the subject in the photo. With a video, you're stuck with what happened in it.

This is probably an unusual question but I've been wanting to ask someone and I'm very glad to have found a way to ask someone anonymously. I've heard that a lot of boys just entering puberty masturbate more frequently because of the novelty of it all and the hormone changes. I'm a female-to-male transgender man and I started taking testosterone a year ago, when I was 17, so that I could go through the male puberty that I've always felt I should have gone through to begin with. Testosterone changes female genitalia significantly. My clitoris acts very much like a penis and has grown to about 1.5" in length; my vagina is generally quite dry but releases a significant amount of clear fluid when I have orgasms, and my orgasms feel different from before I started taking the testosterone. I'm also horny all the time and my clitoris randomly gets erect every couple of hours. I've found myself wanting to masturbate 1-3 times a day, a significant increase compared to before starting testosterone. None of these things are unexpected or upsetting. My doctors told me taking testosterone would make my "female" genitals act more male.

Does it make sense that I could be experiencing a similar increase in frequency because of the novelty and the hormone changes in the same way a younger boy might? I was told that I should expect to feel horny and everything in the same way that any other pubescent guy would. Would it make sense for that to include a spike in masturbatory frequency? (age 18)

It's typical for masturbatory frequency to be highest at about 12-14. It's not unusual to hear of boys that age masturbating twice a day, a frequency that would be very high in someone 16 or older. Not all boys have that happen, and for most who do, it lasts less than a year. I suspect there is an online support group for trans men somewhere on the Internet where you could get a more satisfactory answer than mine.

I have muscle spasms in my legs due to a genetic disease. When I have orgasms, my legs tense, like everyone's do, but tensing triggers minutes of intense flailing spasms in my legs and feet. Is there a way to safely restrain my legs while I masturbate or have sex that could keep them closer to me to avoid kicking things and hurting myself? Would it be safe to sit with my knees bent, so that my feet and lower legs are pinned underneath me for 5-15 minutes while I masturbate, or would it be safer to start off lying down and switch to kneeling when I'm getting close, before the spasms start? If you think I would be better off asking my doctor, what would I even say? I have no idea how I would even begin to bring up masturbation with him. (age 18)

The doctor masturbates too, and he hears people telling him about their problems all day long. Most males and females stretch their legs out tense while masturbating to keep sensations from the legs from interfering. It is certainly no problem if you want to kneel in order to masturbate; but I don't think you'd want to do it that way every time; and it would probably not be practical to have intercourse that way. I don't know if your hybrid method of switching from lying to kneeling would be effective; give it a try and let me know. I would suggest finding an online support group for your condition and asking the members there what they do.

Whenever I masturbate, I get to the precum but I start to lose my erection and my hand gets tired. Any tips? (age 13)

Yes. When you get the pre-cum, stroke as furiously as you can until you have an orgasm. If your hand is getting tired, then you're not letting your arm do as much of the work as it should.

I masturbated three times in one day once. Was that too much? (age 17)

Not even close to too much.

I think I'm an exhibitionist. I wouldn't actually masturbate or have sex in public because I know that's a bad idea. I want a healthy way to show off. (I think it stems from me being proud of my body because I've worked very very hard to look as good as I do), so I'm thinking about sharing tasteful nudes anonymously online, because then I could be more sure only consenting people are viewing them and I'm not forcing someone to see them if they don't want to. Since I'm 18 now, I know I could. Is there anything inherently unhealthy about liking to show off, as long as I can control myself and only keep it in the realm of consenting people? Or is this something that's not healthy that I should see a professional about?

There's nothing unhealthy about wanting to show off your body. Women your age have plenty of opportunities to become models. Not very many men do. If you do any posing, consider whether your face will be seen and whether that could cause problems for you down the road.

I occasionally wake up some mornings, half-asleep, half-awake, grinding my penis against my mattress. I'm worried that, if this is prone masturbation, how I can prevent doing this if I do it subconsciously. I masturbate normally and have for years now. (I masturbated prone very early on but have masturbated normally since I was at least 12.) (age 19)

It would help to wear more clothing to bed. Are you sleeping nude? If you wore both underwear and heavy pants, like sweat pants, I think it is less likely you would masturbate prone in your sleep.

I can only orgasm when I clench/squeeze/tighten my legs or squeeze my buttocks while masturbating. Do I need help? (age 25)

Probably not, but you would be better off if you could reach orgasm without doing those things. The majority of males straighten their legs most of the time they masturbate. Usually this is to prevent sensations from the legs from interfering with sexual pleasure. Work at not doing that at least some of the time.

Is masturbating every day and sometimes twice a day too much? (age 17)

No, that frequency is perfectly normal, and healthy too.

I have my own room. I use two shelves for keeping my magazines and DVDs. My mom decided to clean our house. She clean all rooms in our house. I usually hide my magazines and DVDs in boxes before my they come in my room to clean it. However, I was out of my house for a couple of days. My mom told me that she and my sister had to move my shelves out of my room so that they could clean my room. I noticed that magazines and DVDs were mixed up (I order my magazines and DVDs in a chronological way). Do you think that they found my magazines and DVDs? I know that my mom is against porn, because she threw away a porn DVD two years ago. (age 16)

If they moved it, they noticed what it was. Maybe your mom is more accepting of you using porn now than she was when you were 14.

Is it best to use lube when masturbating? Can masturbating without lube harm your penis? (age 22)

Yes, you want to use lube. It feels better that way. Males who use lube enjoy it more. In addition to making masturbating feel better, lube guards against friction burns and other abrasion of the penis. Once you get used to masturbating with lube, you won't want to do it dry.

Can a vibrator damage the penis? Is it OK to use male adult toys? What can you say about a life sized sex doll? (age 31)

A vibrator will not hurt the penis, but not very many men use them. Vibration brings a lot of joy to women but doesn't arouse many men. I recommend the use of masturbation sleeves, like the Super Head Honcho, especially for males with orgasmic difficulty. I don't know anything about sex dolls.

Is having sex like masturbating? I want to have sex with my girlfriend but I'm not sure how long I can last. When I masturbate, I can get to around 30 minutes before I orgasm. (age 14)

It feels completely different. You will like it more than masturbating. Typically a male lasts longer in intercourse than he does masturbating. I suspect your first time will take a lot less than 30 minutes. Probably expect it to take 5-10 minutes.

At what age should I stop masturbating and only have sex? I've been masturbating since I was 10. (age 12)

You will never stop masturbating. I suggest you wait until 16 to have sex, perhaps older. The average male has intercourse for the first time at age 18.

My abdomen rumbled after masturbation today. I had been touching myself on and off. Is this why it rumbled? I don't masturbate often. I masturbated yesterday after nearly a week of not masturbating. (age 22)

Abdomens rumble constantly. Yours did not rumble because of masturbating. Most men your age masturbate daily or close to it. You shouldn't go a whole week without masturbating unless you're sexually active.

I masturbate a lot and after a couple of months, my semen has become more watery than it used to be. Why does this happen and what are some things to do to make my semen thick again? (age 19)

Thickness (viscosity) of semen is related to how long since your last ejaculation. If it's been three or more days, it will be thicker than if your previous ejaculation was only 24 hours ago. Just because it's more watery doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. In fact, watery (less viscous) semen might be better for conception than thicker (more viscous) semen. Only a semen analysis by a doctor can tell you for sure. I'm guessing since you masturbate a lot that you enjoy it. Keep enjoying it and don't worry so much about your semen.

I discovered masturbation a few months ago by reading I have read of many 12-year-old boys who masturbate. I feel like I should have started long before now. Is it normal that I started at 14?

The average age of first masturbation is 12.25. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you that you only started at 14. Some boys start even later. Just enjoy what you're doing now and remember how you enjoyed your wet dreams until a few months ago.

I've heard that you're not supposed to masturbate with dry hands. What should I use? (age 12)

Dry hands are fine. You would probably enjoy it more if you used a water-based lube, but this is not essential.

This may sound weird but I've never masturbated. I've been aroused many times but just don't know what to do at that time. I've been looking at these questions and they've been helping a little but I just don't know what to do. (age 12)

It's not weird at all. Lots of boys your age have never masturbated. When aroused, most males know to stroke up and down the penis with one hand and continue to think about whatever helped get them aroused.

I really want to use a lube but I don't want to buy one because I don't want my parents to know. Is there any other household alternative? (age 14)

Your parents know that nearly all boys are masturbating at your age. You would probably greatly enjoy a water-based lube. If you're not ready to buy one yet, you might try using a household product like Vaseline, hand lotion, or hair conditioner.

There's a girl that I'm pretty close friends with. I have been wanting to ask her if she masturbates and talk about that kind of stuff. Sometimes we have briefly talked about sexual stuff but not this deep into it. Should I even ask her about it and if so how should I do it? (age 15)

If you want to continue to be pretty close friends with her, don't ask if she masturbates. If you really can't resist bringing the topic up, say, "I really like to masturbate and I do it ___ times a week." Then see what she says. She might volunteer that she does too, but if she doesn't, don't ask about her habits.

I read a few answers here and I'm wondering about the accuracy of the answers. I'd like to know how much research is put into this web site or if there is a doctor that is frequently consulted to have accurate responces. I really like and it would give me a lot of comfort to know this. (age 21)

I, the author of, have a Ph.D. in a field unrelated to sexuality. I have been authoring and responding to these questions for over 15 years. There are very few complaints about the accuracy of my answers. When someone asks something that is too medical in nature beyond my expertise, I advise them to seek professional help.

When I was in my twenties and in London, a slightly older American guy I had a brief affair with told me he'd show me how to masturbate and delay orgasm by using talcum powder. Regrettably, we were too busy doing other things so he never did explain. Then I lost touch with him. I've often wondered what the talcum powder trick was. Do you know? (age 78)

A male can greatly enhance his enjoyment of masturbating by using lube. If he's enjoying it too fast, talcum powder would have the opposite effect of lube and consequently help delay ejaculation. I honestly don't recommend it.

I read online that hardcore and explicit videos are harmful, so I rarely watch them. Are erotic stories that can be found online harmful too? What are your suggestions to reduce porn-induced ED and other side-effects from porn in the future? (age 14)

At your age, you shouldn't need any visual aids to help get aroused and reach orgasm. Erections and orgasms should be plentiful at your age. Work at building your imagination. Absorb beautiful images that you see all around you, at school, in the park, on the town, wherever you go. Learn about what arouses you. Don't merely work on pre-packaged fantasies that some manufacturer wants to sell you. I don't see the same problem with stories.

I masturbate using lube, and once I become erect, it takes just a few strokes to ejaculate. I also masturbate at a fairly slow rate (no rapid hand movements), but I'm wondering if I'm reaching ejaculation too quickly? (age 15)

You are young and learning. If you're enjoying your masturbation, no matter how brief, you're doing fine. As you get more experienced, you will learn how to make your sessions last longer. Most guys figure out how to keep their orgasm from happening for a few minutes and keep masturbating. Once you can do that, you can make your sessions last as long or short as you like.

I would suggest that you add into your page about lubes pure, straight, unadulterated glycerin which is the base for commercial expensive concoctions you list; and coconut oil, which is very smooth and edible. Adding this info would direct everyone to cheaper and superior product to use instead of all that expensive stuff. (age 72)

Pure glycerin would not be very satisfying as a lube. Commercial lube has other ingredients added that make it dry out less quickly and make it more enjoyable for sex and masturbation. I don't think $1 per tube for sex lube at Dollar Tree or Walmart is so expensive.

I recently discovered masturbation, but I only orgasmed the day I discovered it. I've tried for weeks and weeks but I just can't get there. I've tried quitting for a month (on 3rd week). Any suggestions? (age around 17)

Do you remember what you did, and especially what you were thinking of, that day you orgasmed? Think about that some more. Think about whatever turns you on most, and masturbate then.

I really want to stop masturbating. I know there's not anything wrong with it and I know that many people my age do it too, but I still want to stop. How can I do this?

I've been considering getting a chastity device, but for obvious reasons I don't want to ask my parents to buy one. (age 13)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Instead of trying to quit, you should accept it as normal, healthy, and fun, and something you will always do. Please see my page about quitting masturbation to see what the experience of others has been.

I came up with this new way of masturbating where I lie face up, cover myself with a bedsheet and rub my penis head against the bedsheet. This has been my best masturbating experience. But it has decreased the number of times I usually masturbate and I noticed that it feels much better if I do it once in two days. What do you think about this?

That is an atypical way of masturbating that will not help you be more sexually functional. Only masturbate with the gentle touch of your hands. Most males say orgasms feel more intense when they go 2-3 days without one.

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years and we're Christians and we just kiss and cuddle. I feel like I'm ready for oral and sex. I've talked to my parents about it and they said I should wait until I'm married someday. I want my girlfriend to be my first and I want to do more stuff with her. I'm not sure how my parents would react. (age 28)

You are too old to be a virgin and too old to be relying on your parents' advice about being sexually active. Why haven't you married your girlfriend after five years? Either marry her or don't marry her, but you should have been having sex many years ago. Males who remain virgins past 21 have a disproportionate number of sexual dysfunctions.

I'm 17 and I masturbate every day. I really feel weird for that. I really want to masturbate twice in a day but I don't because I think I'll hurt myself doing it that much. Is this normal? I really need to know.

Most guys your age masturbate every day, so you needn't feel weird about it. If you want to do it twice in a day, go for it. Most guys your age do so occasionally, at least. It won't hurt you.

I've been masturbating since I was 12. I know using visual porn is not ideal, but would reading sexually arousing text be bad? I haven't read any yet but I'm thinking of it. has helped a lot with my questions. (age 13)

Sexually arousing text is called erotica, and I don't think it would be bad. Visual aids should be used at most occasionally at your age, not every time.

Can masturbating prone eventually lead to Peyronie's disease? Or at least a development of plaque/scar tissue? (age 23)

I doubt it. I've been in contact with men with a history of prone masturbation who've been examined by specialists in Peyronie's disease, who found no plaque. I'm inclined to believe men who masturbate prone are no more likely to get Peyronie's than anyone else.

I've been masturbating 4-6 times a week since I was about 8, but just recently my semen is more of a brownish color instead of its usual white. I looked it up and read that it could be blood in my semen. Do you know what could be causing this, or what I can do to prevent it? (age 15)

You should see a doctor. The doctor will probably assume you have a sexually transmitted disease. Get help sooner rather than later.

Follow-up: I've never had sex so it can't be an STD. What else could it be?

I told you to see a doctor. It could be a serious organic problem that needs a doctor's attention. Like I said before, the doctor will probably assume you have an STD. Get help now.

I feel like my balls might explode after a few days without masturbating. Is it possible to resist the urge? (age 15)

Most younger males masturbate about once a day. Most males can notice the feeling you describe after three days without an ejaculation. When you get that feeling, you have not masturbated often enough lately. You can resist the urge, but why?

I share a room with two other roommates. One of them keeps his magazines and DVDs on the shelf with his other books. He also keeps a sign "FREE TO USE" so that we know that we can use his material. I have a girlfriend who thinks now that I read his magazines and watch his DVDs every time I am alone in my dorm room. We promise to each other that we will keep ourselves from any sexual activities or visual stimulation during masturbation before we get married. I watch porn, but on the Internet and on my laptop and my girlfriend doesn't know that. Now I have a problem! (age 19)

I agree that you have a problem, but it isn't that your roommate is willing to share his magazines and DVDs. Your problem is that you agreed not to use visual stimulation when by your own admission, you do. I don't know why you agreed to that. It is only causing you unnecessary guilt. Why don't you and your girlfriend amend that part of your agreement.

I've been masturbating since I was 12. Lately I've been having the urge to masturbate daily. I don't want to masturbate too much and hurt myself. I just wanna know if I'm overreacting. (age 17)

You're overreacting tremendously. Most males your age masturbate daily. Go with that urge and don't worry.

You say that masturbation sometimes involves making two strokes per second. I don't do it this way, and I don't think I've ever masturbated that fast. I do it slowly. Am I doing it wrong? (age 22)

No, but you might be surprised at how fast you're doing it when you don't realize it. If you can succeed doing it slowly, you're better off than most men. I advise men at the point in their session when they think they need to masturbate fast and furiously to slow down instead and see what happens.

Please elaborate on face down masturbation. (age 12)

Prone masturbation means to lie on one's stomach and thrust the penis into or against something, like the hand or bedding. Interestingly, the face isn't usually "down" but instead turned to one side or another to allow for easier breathing and viewing of materials. Prone masturbation is dangerous and unhealthy and causes serious sexual dysfunctions, like delayed ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, in most males who practice it. To learn more, see the main page of

Is masturbating demonic? (age 14)

No, it's mammalian. Masturbation has been observed in the male of every species of mammal.

Two years ago, I found just randomly surfing the net. After about an hour of reading your excellent site, I was dripping precum. I started getting this weird ache in my abdomen. I went to my room and it wasn't long before I exploded. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for helping me learn to do this happy, wonderful thing!!!!!!!!! (age 15)


I started masturbating when I was in 10th grade and it became a habit where I was usually masturbating three to four times a week but sometimes as much as twice a day. Now at 21 I can't achieve a good erection. I know that masturbating relieves stress and prevents prostate cancer but I can't achieve an erection and the moment I feel excited I start to precum and it's driving me crazy. I can't focus in school and all I think about is not being able to achieve a good erection. Two years ago, I stopped dating and having sex because the last time I was in a relationship, I ended getting hurt really badly. Is there a solution to my problem? (age 21)

Most males your age who are not sexually active masturbate about once a day. You ought to be able to get erect more than that. I would see a doctor to rule out a physical problem. I also think you should see a psychologist about your relationship issues. Nearly everyone gets hurt in a breakup. You will probably find a lot of females who will break your heart; and then you will find one who won't.

I heard that it is dangerous to sit on the edge of a sofa and masturbate because the pressure from the sofa obstructs the muscles used during orgasm resulting in the tearing of pelvic nerves. Is this true? (age 25)

It is dangerous only if you're using strong force to hold your perineum against the sofa. I don't know about the tearing of pelvic nerves, but placing strong pressure on the perineum is dangerous because sensitive nerves and blood vessels run through that area. Some males use force there to prevent themselves from ejaculating, or rather to cause their ejaculate to become diverted into the urinary bladder.

I am worried about my lack of wet dreams lately. I usually have a wet dream about once a week or every 10 days and I don't masturbate. I really don't. I know you don't usually believe guys who say they don't but I don't. I have never masturbated to orgasm even once. Anyway, I haven't had a wet dream in almost a month. I have not masturbated or done anything else sexual in that time. I am getting worried. Does this mean something is wrong with me? What can I do to bring on another wet dream? (age 14)

Wet dream frequency can be pretty irregular. A guy can have wet dreams two nights in a row and then not again for a month. I highly doubt that there is anything wrong with you. I am inclined to believe that you don't masturbate. But why not? Most guys your age masturbate daily and enjoy it greatly. Since you're having a month without a wet dream now, why not take the opportunity to teach yourself how to masturbate? As far as bringing on the wet dream, that is a tricky one, but it might help to wear less clothing to bed.

I believe that prone masturbation can result in damage to the suspensory ligaments. I used to prone masturbate with my penis pointed down and I heard a pop and now it slings downward instead of upward. I'm still looking into other possibilities to what happened and how to fix it, but would you agree that there very well could be physical damage from prone masturbation?

What you describe is fracture of the penis. I have never heard of anyone fracturing his penis by masturbating prone before. It is usually caused by having intercourse in the female-superior (cowgirl) position with a rambunctious partner who moves her body while the man is erect inside her. Talk to your doctor about fracture of the penis. He or she will probably refer you to a urologist. Anyway, I hope you have given up prone masturbation and now masturbate conventionally.

Is it normal that I haven't had an erection without trying to masturbate in 3-4 days? (age 13)

At your age, a whole lot of things fall within the range of normal. Not every guy your age is having frequent or even daily erections yet. There is nothing wrong with you at 13 if you're only getting erections occasionally. Even if you're masturbating often, there is nothing wrong with you if you don't get an erection in 3-4 days since you last masturbated.

I have 8 to 10 wet dreams a month, almost 50% of which are caused by dreaming about intercourse, which I have never engaged in. I also masturbate 3-4 times a month. Is it normal for a guy like me? (age 21)

That is a lot of wet dreams at any age. Most male virgins your age masturbate about once a day, sometimes more. I suspect if you masturbated at least four times a week, it would put an end to your wet dreams forever.

In school when I talk to attractive female peers, I can't help but take glances at their breasts (especially from the sides) or look at pictures they post online, and masturbate fantasizing about having sex with them and seeing the exact size of their breasts bouncing. I don't feel aroused when I look at them in person. Would they find out that I'm looking and is it very a bad/unethical thing to do? Is it normal? (age 14)

It's very normal to look at attractive people (either in person or photos) and masturbate in private. Females usually don't like when males stare at their breasts. It's easier for them to tell than you think. It would be a good idea to teach yourself not to stare.

You say it's a symptom of STDs if urinating hurts after masturbating. I sometimes urinate after masturbating and my penis hurts afterward but not always. What should I do? (age 13)

If you've been sexually active, you should see a doctor to get tested for STDs. If you haven't been sexually active, then you can't have an STD. STD stands for sexually transmitted disease. You might be simply using too much force when you masturbate. If so, work at using less force.

I get erections easily and the way my school uniform shorts are made, when I sit down, there is a bulge as my pants are lower than others, even when I'm not erect. Would girls notice this and find it a turn-off? (age 15)

Girls could see the bulge if they looked, but they probably wouldn't know which part of it is a sex organ and which part is just the way the fabric lays. If it bothers you, find a solution. Either get different shorts or wear heavier underwear under them so that more of the bulge is fabric and less is your anatomy.

I have a constant twitch in my penis and am wondering how I can get rid of it. What are the possible causes? (age 16)

A twitch (discomfort) in your penis could be caused by an STD. If you have been sexually active, you should get tested by a doctor to rule out an STD. If you haven't been sexually active, then you might need to urinate more often. Drink a lot more water for the next few days and see if the extra flushing of your urinary tract makes a difference.

I always thought masturbating (to orgasm) wasn't something you should do. I have indeed masturbated to orgasm a few times, but lately I have been stopping before I get to orgasm because I was scared that maybe I was not supposed to do it at this age. Now reading that a bare minimum is about two weeks without masturbating for good health's sake I'm scared I might have hurt my abdomen or bladder or something by going that long without. Did I? (age 13)

You are pretty young and most boys your age are just starting to masturbate and a lot of them haven't made it a daily habit yet. You have not hurt anything by masturbating infrequently or stopping before orgasm at age 13. Once you get to enjoying it more, you will do it more frequently and understand why ejaculating only once every two weeks is an extremely low amount. I suggest you read my page about the health benefits of frequent masturbation.

I have been with my girlfriend for over a year now, and we have been having sex for a while but I can't orgasm from it. When she gives me a handjob or fellatio, sometimes I masturbate until I get close and then she takes over to make me orgasm. I am not nervous or anything like that, I just can't orgasm. I read somewhere that it might be because I use too tight a grip when I masturbate. I have a very tight grip. I squeeze it tightly and I also stroke very fast. I masturbate anywhere from 1-3 times a day. I'm getting really desperate. I want to orgasm from my girlfriend. Can I solve this problem my masturbating with a weaker grip? if so, can I still masturbate that often, or is this another cause of my problem? (age 16)

Yes, a tight grip is very much your problem. Your frequency of masturbation is also unusual for someone who is sexually active. I suggest working on both. Take 3-5 days off from sex and masturbation and then try to masturbate to orgasm using a much lighter grip. Try to see how good only a small amount of touch can feel. Then try to masturbate no more than once a day (occasionally twice) and plan to take a day off from masturbating before you have sex. You might also acquire a device called the Super Head Honcho, which works well to train a male to use less force to masturbate.

Can anyone know if I am masturbating or not just looking at my penis? (age 21)

No. And I won't tell anyone either.

I have been masturbating since I was 9. From 9 to 11 I did prone masturbation. Since then, I have been masturbating by hand. I jack my beanstalk around twice a day, but yesterday I did it four times to practice my imagination (twice with porn, twice with only my imagination). I am thinking of swapping the two each day. Is this good? (age 13)

Four times is approximately the most that the average male has ever masturbated in a day. Excercising your imagination is not going to make much difference if you still use porn that often. If you want to eliminate the porn, then do so.

Sometimes I like to masturbate with one hand and do homework with the other. I've only ejaculated on it once. Is this normal? (age 17)

If I had an award for wackiest question of the year, I would nominate you for it, but I don't have such an award because I don't want to encourage wacky questions.

I have been masturbating for about two years now and I have noticed two nipple-like things appear under my nipples. I can't find anything that links them that to masturbation or what they are. (age 14)

I'm not a doctor, but I can say with 100% certainty that they were not caused by masturbating. (And if they were, would you quit?) Any unexplained growth on your skin should be checked out by a doctor. So please do that.

You state that penises don't create lubricant, but this is not true. The penis will secrete a small amount of lubricating fluid when stimulated, just as a woman's vagina will get wet. (age 34)

You are only partially correct. An uncircumcised penis has two lubricating glands, but one of these is removed in circumcision and the other dries up shortly afterward. As of the last survey, most of the male readers of are circumcised.

I've been masturbating since I was 12 but have noticed changes in my habits. Sometimes I am constantly horny and masturbate 2-3 times a day and have the urge to watch porn. Other times I go for days with no desire to masturbate or watch porn. Is this normal? (age 20)

I think you might be over-analyzing. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Most men your age practice it about once a day. That doesn't mean they do it exactly once every 24 hours. In general, it is better for your prostate gland if your ejaculation is more evenly spaced out. But if you're not having symptoms of prostate trouble (which usually manifests itself at your age as random pain in your genitals) then I don't see a problem with your binge and break cycle.

Lots of men don't worry about not having desire to masturbate; they look at something stimulating in order to provoke their desire.

The other thing that occurs to me that you didn't specifically mention is sex with partners. If you're having sex with a partner, it's not at all uncommon to go days without masturbating around those acts of intercourse.

You might find you also eat certain things repeatedly for a period of time and then go a long time without it. It doesn't mean you have anything wrong psychologically.

I don't reach orgasm when I masturbate. I have wet dreams frequently. Is everything OK? (age 18)

If you're 18, you should have learned how to masturbate to orgasm years ago. Some males learn later than others. But most of the males you interact with on a daily basis (school, etc.) have been masturbating to orgasm for more than half a decade. Are you taking any medication that makes reaching orgasm difficult, like an antidepressant? If so, talk to your doctor about switching to one that doesn't have sexual side effects. If not, work harder at reaching orgasm when you masturbate. Reading the male pages of will help.

Is it OK to look at Internet porn at my age? Thank you very much. (age 12)

No, I don't think that's OK at all. You ought to be developing your sexual imagination at your age and not relying on porn. Save the Internet photos for when you're much older.

I find it easier to reach orgasm watching porn; however, I can use my imagination but it's not a better experience. What is your argument? (age 13 years and 9 months)

My argument is that you are young and porn is a shortcut. It can be a dangerous shortcut too. Instead of taking shortcuts, you ought to be learning. There are lots of things that can arouse you that you haven't even experienced a little bit yet. Every little bit of arousal that you can experience can lead you to have a better orgasm later. But if you shortcut those future arousals, you might never develop your sexual imagination and become unable to be aroused by anything other than porn.

Also, a lot of porn is just plain dangerous: violent, extreme, exploitative. There was a time when boys your age spoke of "porn," what they actually meant were rather tame photos of topless women in swimsuits, or perhaps Playboy. Porn today includes extreme material that 20 years ago was only available in seedy porn stores in bad parts of large cities. As you get older, you will recognize the difference between Playboy-type photos and the extremes of Internet porn. At your age, you might not be aware of the difference. So porn can be an explosive and degrading experience that ought to be postponed until you can handle it better.

A girl I know lost her virginity to some guy. He had a large penis that tore her up. Will this large penis mess up her vagina permanently? I'm asking because she is now my girlfriend possibly my wife.

Wow, that question sure escalated quickly. At the beginning of your message she was "a girl I know" and at the end she's "possibly my wife." There isn't that much variation in the size of penises. A small one is as capable of "tearing her up" as a large one. You can rest assured that her vagina has not been "messed up permanently" by that sexual encounter. Better days are ahead.

The other night my friend, who is my age and who's been having sex for a few years, revealed to me that in all her sexual experiences and all her boyfriends, she has only had one orgasm during intercourse. I thought that was just sad. Is this normal for her age or is she just really unlucky? (age 21)

I wouldn't use the word normal but unfortunately it is a common experience for women to not have orgasms in intercourse; in men, that is a rare thing. Most females learn to be orgasmic by masturbating. They can use the knowledge of orgasms they get that way to help themselves reach orgasm in intercourse, and some women even masturbate while having intercourse. If your friend can figure out what helped her have that one orgasm, it would be to her advantage.

I masturbate about 1-2 times a week, a lot less than my old 7+ times weekly. Lately my nipple got stiff and sore (only one though). My friend told me it's because I masturbate. (age 15)

Masturbating will not make your nipple sore. Something touching your nipple (tight shirt, something in pocket) is doing that. Most guys your age masturbate more like your old frequency than your current one.

I am almost 14 and I have never had a wet dream. I started masturbating about 10 months ago. Whenever I masturbate, it takes me about 4 minutes roughly and I only produce this clear liquid and try to masturbate more but I just can't. Is this normal? (age almost 14)

The wet dream would depend if you're actually ejaculating or not. The clear liquid might be pre-cum (bulbourethral fluid), which comes out when a male is sexually aroused but before he ejaculates. Or the clear liquid might be semen, if you are not yet producing all of the components of semen. Either of which would be normal at your age. If you've actually been ejaculating by frequent masturbation for 10 months, than I doubt you'll ever have a wet dream. I suspect you are actually ejaculating because if you weren't, you'd probably be having wet dreams lately. My main suggestion to you is to work at making your sessions last longer than four minutes.

I mostly masturbate thinking about girls I know or have seen around, usually my age, some older. I find it hard to face them afer I've recently masturbated with them in mind, even a day or two ago. What should I do? (age 17)

Just smile and say hi. They don't know what you've been thinking.

I started masturbating about a month ago and have not yet achieved an ejaculation, I think. All of my friends at school say they can ejaculate the white thick fluid (semen) but I am confused. Recently I noticed a small amount of clear sticky fluid that oozes out about 45-90 seconds after I orgasm. What is this? When is a male supposed to ejaculate? Before orgasm, during, or after? (age 13)

Males ejaculate at the same moment of orgasm, or within one second of the orgasm starting. For nearly all males, ejaculation is part of orgasm. Semen is sticky but not clear. You might be releasing pre-cum, or bulbourethral fluid. Or you might not be producing all of the components of semen yet. Frequently after a male ejaculates, another burst of semen comes out when he next moves his pelvis, like when he stands up again. This semen is not being ejaculated but is being forced out by gravity. I doubt you're doing anything wrong and will probably be ejaculating like nobody's business soon.

I noticed on your prone masturbation page that you mention the need to ejaculate at least once every two weeks. I and many others are doing the No Fap challenge, which can last many months. How safe are we? (age 19)

Not at all safe. Once every two weeks is an extremely low frequency of ejaculating. A team of doctors led by Dr. Graham Giles found that males who ejaculated most often when they were young had the least incidence of prostate cancer later. Dr. Giles recommends that younger males masturbate at least six times a week. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. The No Fap movement is one of the dumbest and most destructive things to come along for sexual health.

I masturbated last night, and a few hours later, I had a wet dream. Is something wrong with me? (age 27)

Wet dreams are rare in a person who masturbates frequently, especially at your age, but they do not mean anything is wrong with you.

I have a huge crush on my best friend and I masturbate while thinking of her. Is that normal? (age 15)

Very normal.

Recently I have been feeling really anxious when I go to masturbate. It has never been a problem before. I used to love it, and could relax and get into it without the worry of anyone disturbing me, even with porn on. But recently I have become on edge, like I feel someone is going to catch me or something. Every time I hear a noise while masturbating, I jump and stop for a while until I believe no one is there. I'm struggling to get back in touch with myself, and I need to learn to relax again and know no one is gonna catch me, which I seem to be unable to do. I live with my mom and sister. It has been an issue for a couple of weeks now and I have only managed to properly orgasm/ejaculate three times over this period, and that was purely from not having masturbated for a few days. Even then it wasn't a pleasurable experience. It's like masturbating has lost its pleasure. Is there any advice or methods you know of to help my situation? I just want to be able to enjoy myself again, safely, relaxed. (age 18)

You are an adult. You get to do what adults do. Even if you weren't 18 yet, you are experienced at masturbating and have enjoyed it for years. Even if your mom and sister knew for a fact that you masturbate, and often, you would not, could not, stop. So simply accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health, and something you are going to do whether or not your mom or sister approve. I also thing reading my page about variety in masturbation would be good for you.

I really want to try masturbating with condoms. For some reason the idea of a condom turns me on and I get hard. I found a few boxes of condoms, all sealed up in shrink wrap, except a couple which were open, in my mom's room. I am tempted to take some but I'm worried they would notice. It seems like using a condom would be fun and a new variation. What do you suggest I do?

What is it like using a condom, if I never get the chance in the next few months? (age 15)

You have two questions. You are asking about the experience of masturbating in a condom and you are asking whether you should steal some from your mom's private drawer. The obvious alternative to stealing them is to buy some; or perhaps you could even get some for free at a teen health center or even your school. Only you can decide the ethics about that.

Most males find it fun and exciting to try using a condom to masturbate, but only a few make it a regular part of their masturbatory practice. It feels slightly different from dry hand masturbation, because there are two kinds of friction: hand against condom, and condom against penis. A male who is experienced using lube to masturbate would probably not find condoms to be much different. However, there is one advantage of masturbating with a condom that makes it occasionally a useful choice even for a sexually experienced man: There is no worry about cleanup and where the semen will go when ejaculating into a condom. I also discuss this on my page about variety in masturbating.

I have just started to read your site and I am really impressed. I would love to know more about my sexuality as I never went to sex ed and don't know much. I am a 20-year-old virgin and I was wondering if you would be interested in doing a study on me. It would help me know more about my body and it would give you data. Let me know what you think of this idea.

I am happy that you found my site and that it is helping you learn more. I don't do studies on individuals other than a small number who have written up their lengthy histories of prone masturbation and have given me permission to post it. If you have specific questions, feel free to post them.

I was a virgin by choice until I got married last month. I started masturbating when I was 13 and masturbated about once a night (sometimes more) for 23 years. A few times in the past decade, I heard people talking about "getting too used to your own hand" or whatever, and so I backed off in the last year or so to just weekends (when I would binge, haha) and then I tried really hard the last month before my wedding to stop completely; I didn't, but I only masturbated a few times in that month.

Now that we're married (she was a virgin too at 33), sex has been really difficult and awkward. We are completely OK with that and know we'll get more used to it. However, when I finally was able to penetrate her, it's like neither of us can feel much of anything. I feel a lot of this is psychological. But I fear most on my part is that I have trained myself to respond to the grip and movement of my own hand. Can I unlearn this and become more responsive to her vagina? (age 36)

The learning curve for male virgins gets much harder past the age of 21. You are correct that you will improve over time. This is an issue for all new partners. But I am also inclined to believe you masturbated not only very frequently but also with a lot of force. No vagina will ever feel as forceful as your own hand. While you obviously should work at having better sex with your wife, you should also work at learning to masturbate with less force. For more than a year, I have recommended a sleeve called the Super Head Honcho for males with this problem. By masturbating with this sleeve loosely over the penis, you can simulate the pressure of the vagina.

I have been masturbating for the past 3 to 4 years. Due to religious reasons, I have decided to quit. I know it's healthy and natural but I am quite firm with my decision and there is no going back. It's been a week since I last jerked off. It has been a difficult week. I think I will make it and quit masturbating altogether. I read somewhere that sexual inactivity might lead to cancer or some similar stuff and might also affect one's fertility. Can you set me straight on that? (age 17)

I see you posted that on May 8 and it is now the 14th. Are you really going on two weeks now, or have you decided that you really enjoy masturbating more than quitting? It's not the case that sexual inactivity will lead to cancer, but on average, males who masturbate more frequently when they're young have less prostate cancer when they're older. Masturbation is good for your fertility. I wish you would accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Most religious guys also masturbate often and enjoy it.

Thank you for putting my earlier story on the caught masturbating page. Just a few days after that other incident happened, I was driving on a rural road and decide to masturbate as I drove. It was dark as can be and there was no other traffic around. I was going 65-70 miles per hour. I really got into it quickly even though I didn't have any cool pictures to look at. I kept a napkin handy. Just as I was about to orgasm, I spotted a bunch of deer crossing the road. When I came, it was the most intense orgasm I have ever had. I really yelled out, even louder than I ever have during intercourse. I braked and avoided the deer. Then I pulled over to clean up and rest for a minute. I feel that driving while masturbating is safer than a lot of things that people do while driving, like eating or fooling with the stereo. You don't have to take your eyes off the road or your foot away from the brake to masturbate. (age 34)

I advise strongly against masturbating while driving. You probably didn't react to the deer as quickly as you could have because you were busy. That could have ended very badly, and the coroner's report would have noted that your penis was erect and out of your pants.

I just read on here that prone masturbation isn't recommended for girls. I've been humping pillows for a long time. I had no idea about this. I read it was bad for boys. Why is it bad for girls? (male, age 14)

There is overwhelming evidence that it's bad for males, so I urge you to stop with the pillow humping ASAP. There is some evidence that it is also harmful for females. Females who masturbate by hand have more orgasms in intercourse than those who masturbate prone. So prone masturbation is bad for everyone, but especially bad for males.

I use yogurt as lube. Is that OK? I don't buy lube because I would get embarrassed if my parents were to see it. (age 18)

You are a grownup and should not be embarrassed because you do something that most 12 year olds do. I have never heard of yogurt being used as lube. An individual container of yogurt costs about 50 cents, while a 9 ounce tube of lube costs less than a dollar at Walmart and a 3 ounce tube of Warm Touch costs $1 at Dollar Tree.

Are erections meant to be straight or horizontal? How can you tell if you're masturbating normally? (age 16)

Not all penises are perfectly straight. Generally speaking, at your age, your erection should almost point straight up so your penis is almost parallel to your abdomen. As males get older, the angle of erection tends to decline. By masturbating normally, I mean stroking up and down the penis with one hand. That's how nearly all males masturbate.

I have masturbated for about four months and precum comes out but I have never ejaculated even when I go as long as I can. Is this normal and can I still have wet dreams? (age 13)

Yes, that is normal. If you keep masturbating, then you will be ejaculating soon. If you stop masturbating, then you are apt to have wet dreams when your body is ready to ejaculate.

I used to masturbate prone from age 14-16. After reading your site, I decided to switch to normal, and I masturbated twice normally after that. Last week, I decided to stop masturbating altogether, but somehow, within 2 days (this has never happened before) I started having wet dreams and have had four wet dreams over a span of 5 days. Is this normal? What should I do? (age 16)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. You should want to do it often. It is not normal to quit; and I don't think you could succeed at quitting. Most guys who try to quit are masturbating again within a week. The wet dreams could be caused by your not ejaculating as much as you're used to since you took some time off to switch to regular masturbation (congratulations on that) and then did it only twice. I suspect if you started masturbating again (by hand), the wet dreams will go away. But if you want to abstain from masturbating to see how long the wet dreams will happen and at what frequency, there's nothing wrong with that. Keep me posted and don't go back to prone!

Often when I am sexually aroused, I have a short spasm where I shake a bit. Is that normal? (age 14)

That happens to lots of people, both male and female. It's why most guys and many females hold their legs straight while they're masturbating.

I've started exercising a lot more, and when I do I wear sweatpants. A pimple has formed on the base of my penis. What can I do to make it go away? I know it isn't an STD because I'm not sexually active. I can go about a week, probably more without masturbating, but I'd really like to get this thing off of me. Any tips? (age 16)

It helps to change your underwear more frequently (at least once a day) and to use soap on the area in the shower. There is no need to cut back on your masturbating.

If the vagina does not have any nerve endings or sensitivity, then how does a female reach orgasm during sex or internal masturbation. Please elaborate. (male, age 22)

Where did you get the idea that the vagina doesn't have any nerve endings or sensitivity? It is very sensitive. It contains a particularly sensitive area called the G Spot that most women aim for when they masturbate internally and try to get their partners to aim for during intercourse.

I am going through puberty. I have already grown pubic hair and am already getting a mustache. When I masturbate I cannot ejaculate or feel pre-sum coming out. Is this normal? (age 12)

If you have gotten pubic hair, then you ought to be ejaculating soon. Most males can't feel their pre-cum coming out. It is more noticeable when it comes out and is felt. What you describe is very normal.

I have tried to start masturbating lately as all my friends say they do it. It never seems to work as I don't feel anything. I'm worried something might be wrong. (age 13)

Don't be worried. And don't try to force yourself to masturbate. Wait until sometime you get an erection that feels really good and then try. Practice makes perfect.

I have been masturbating for about 6 years. I usually masturbate dry although occasionally I use some sort of lube. It seems like my meatus has stretched and no longer controls urine well. Is this a normal part of aging or should I be concerned? (age 19)

This is bad for 19. I suggest having it checked by a urologist to rule out a serious problem. Many men your age masturbate dry but don't have issues with urination. I also suggest you start making lube a regular sexual practice.

I'm glad all of this information is readily available in one place. I'm a circumcised divorced male, and I have masturbation sessions about 3-5 times a week. I can have more than one orgasm in a session.

I think I have a very short refractory period. I can reach orgasm around 30-60 seconds after I start stimulation. Usually I will be erect before the clothes come off, and unless I employ a modicum of control, I will orgasm within a minute or so. After around another minute, I am good to go again. This time it feels better to achieve orgasm, but takes around 5 minutes on average to come.

A normal night is something like this:

  • Erection
  • 45 seconds thrusting
  • ORGASM 1
  • 60 seconds refractory period
  • 4 minutes oral or vaginal stimulation
  • ORGASM 2
  • 60 seconds refractory period
  • Penis limp, need to use hand to make erect 30 seconds
  • 5-8 minutes doggy style
  • ORGASM 3
  • 50 seconds refractory period
  • Penis very limp, engage major mental imagery, use hand
  • 10-15 minutes thrusting, oral, foreplay eventually....
  • ORGASM 4 (30 minutes or so altogether)

I want to know if I am a freak, that I have such a short refractory period? (age 26)

You keep talking about orgasms, but you never mention ejaculation. Are you ejaculating with each of these orgasms, or only once at the end? Some males can be multi-orgasmic. If that's the case, then you're doing just fine. I've never heard of a male be able to ejaculate so often in as little as five minutes and to get an erection again for another session less than a minute after an ejaculation. I don't think you're a freak and doubt that the 30 minute sexual session you describe is harming you.

I recently managed to give up prone, after coming across, however I have never been aroused by naked women or porn or anything like that. I still get aroused by beautiful women, but it is beautiful women who are in positions of power like a queen. Is this dangerous? Would it affect my sex life? (age 19)

It is obviously very dangerous to only be aroused by women in power like a queen. You might never have a chance to have sex with the only kind of women who arouse you. It is much better if you can be aroused by most of the countless eager and available females around your age. You ought to work harder at being aroused by regular females. If you really can't be, then I think you need to seek professional help.

I masturbate on my back but usually use a pair of underwear in between my hand and my penis for easy cleanup. Is this OK, normal, or unhealthy at all? (age 15)

There is no reason to do that. You would be better off using only your hand and then cleaning up afterward.

Many times I've read that you say a guy can't stop masturbating once he's started. Is it the same for sex? I've never had sex but is it true that someone can't stop having sex once they're used to it? If not, then why can someone quit sex but not masturbation? (age 15)

Your conception of how this fits together is all wrong. Once a male starts ejaculating regularly, he's going to need to keep ejaculating regularly for decades, and he can't stop that. Most of the time, this means masturbation. Some males, even younger ones, do most of their ejaculating as a result of sexual intercourse. Obviously a male can stop having sex if he wants to, or more likely, because he doesn't have a willing partner. But he is going to be masturbating more often as a result of no longer having sex. Basically, if a male doesn't have any other way to ejaculate, he's going to be masturbating.

You mention frequently about using visual aids when masturbating. You say you're not against it, but that it is better to try to use our imaginations more in order to maintain a healthy sexual lifestyle. My question is, if we need to use visual aids to masturbate with, what types or genres would you recommend that would be safer than other options? (age 15)

At your age, you are constantly surrounded by attractive people your own age. Those should be your visual aids. Build your imagination off of what you see around you instead of someone else's sexual fantasies. Having said that, if you must take to the visual aid habit as young as you are, it would be better to use swimsuit photos or simple nudity of the type featured on I strongly urge against using video porn of any kind.

I'm masturbating at least three times a week. After masturbating, I often feel tired. Should I keep masturbating? If I continue, will my body strength decrease? (age 17)

Most males your age masturbate about once a day. More masturbate more than seven times a week than masturbate fewer. I thought you should know this, since you report three times a week as if it's a lot. That is a low frequency for a 17 year old male. It is normal to feel tired after you ejaculate. That is not a problem. It is how the body is designed. It is why half of male masturbation takes place at bedtime; because orgasm leads naturally to sleep. Your body strength is not being depleted; when you wake up, or even if you just rest for a few minutes, you will be feeling fine and strong as ever. If anything, masturbating makes your body stronger, not weaker. Furthermore, you could not quit masturbating even if you tried. So you need to accept masturbation as normal, healthy and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.

I'm really worried about being caught masturbating, but I also think of telling my mom or dad about it. I don't know what to do. (age 13)

You ought to keep reading It will both help you worry less about being caught and make you less inclined to want to tell. There's no reason to tell.

I like your site a lot. I don't understand these guys who say they only masturbate once or twice a month, because ever since I started doing it, I've needed it every day and I get downright irritable if I don't get to masturbate for three days straight for some reason. How can a guy get along masturbating only once a month? (age 17)

Not everyone feels the same urge that you do. Most guys your age masturbate about once a day. Some do it a lot less. Of course, some of them are sexually active and are not masturbating like they used to. But some males just don't feel the urge to ejaculate daily; some of them disbelieve me when I tell them how often the average male ejaculates and that some doctors urge males to ejaculate at least six times a week to maintain sexual health.

Why isn't there masturbation training in school? (age 30)

Students today are lucky if they hear masturbation mentioned in their school curriculum at all, let alone "masturbation training." In 1994, the surgeon general of the United States, Joycelyn Elders, was fired by President Clinton after answering a question that she thought masturbation should be taught in school. The irony of the situation is that Clinton was probably dissatisfied with her at that point for other reasons and only took the opportunity of the masturbation comments to announce her firing. So having masturbation in the sex ed curriculum got a bad rap as a result of the timing of that firing.

I just don't feel like masturbating. Is there anything wrong with that? I'm not thinking that it's gross or anything, but I just don't feel like playing with my penis. (age 13)

There is nothing at all wrong with that. On their 13th birthdays, a lot of guys aren't masturbating. But then something interesting happens. Every day, another thousand guys get over their feeling of not wanting to masturbate. Each one does it and likes it enough to try it again in a few days. And then again and again. And before long it is a daily habit. And then he laughs at the thought that there was a time (two weeks ago!) that he didn't want to play with his penis. I think before your 14th birthday, you will be that guy.

I find your site interesting because it promotes the health benefits of masturbation. What is a healthy amount of masturbation? What would be too much and too little? Does porn have a harmful effect on health? Should masturbation be done without porn? (age 21)

Most men your age masturbate about once a day. I doubt that anyone who knows anything would say that is either too much or too little. A team of doctors led by Dr. Graham Giles found that males who ejaculated most often when they were younger had the least incidence of prostate cancer later. Dr. Giles recommends that younger males masturbate at least six times per week. Too much masturbation is when your penis hurts, or when you're missing appointments or taking too much time away from other parts of your life. I doubt there is anything harmful to health about using visual aids; but I discourage their use by teen males. I regard videos and photos of sex acts as porn and simple nudity as not porn. Visual aids are more a time-saver than anything else. With them, masturbation might take 2-5 minutes and without them it might take 20-30.

Ever since I started masturbating, I've trained myself to be extremely quiet. I could leave the door open at night and nobody would even notice, even if they were awake. I'd have to go out of my way to make noise when I masturbate. Soon, there will be days when I will be home alone (parents out of town) and I am wondering if you could tell me how to be "noisy," just to see how it feels.

Most people let out a scream or moan as they reach orgasm. Some people shout out sexual words. Moaning the name of a partner or fantasy partner is a favorite.

I used to be able to fantasize fine while I masturbated but now I can't. If I manage to fantasize about something, it will only stick in my head for about 5 seconds. Would this be because I have a lot going on at school (e.g., junior band)?

I never heard of a guy who was unable to fantasize while masturbating because he was preoccupied with band. And I've known some serious band-intense people. Most adult males use visual aids to help them focus on a particular fantasy. Try harder to keep those stimulating thoughts in your head.

I masturbate by not thrusting, but sliding my hand up and down my penis to make it feel like I'm thrusting. Is this prone masturbation? (age 12)


I've been masturbating since I was 11. I got my first ejaculation when I was 12.5, and my first wet dream was near my 13th birthday. I don't masturbate often, only about 1-3 times a week. I still often get wet dreams up to 5 times a week, sometimes twice a night, and I orgasm pretty fast. You said it takes around 5 minutes when masturbating, but it usually takes less that a minute for me. Is this weird? When can I expect wet dreams to stop? They're annoying! (age 13.5)

You are pretty young and could benefit by reading more of I've dealt with all your questions over the years; in fact, you were born right around the time that started on February 4, 2002. The five minutes is only an average; it is not at all weird to be able to masturbate to orgasm in less than a minute at your age. As you get older, it will probably take longer. If you can do it so quickly, I'm surprised you don't masturbate more often. You would probably stop your wet dreams if you did. Wet dreams usually stop forever once a male starts masturbating more than 4-5 times a week.

I have always been very nervous discussing or mentioning masturbation at all with anyone. I am 44, have never had a partner, but have recently found that when I masturbate, it takes about 10 minutes, but I am not ejaculating as much as I used to. I find I ejaculate more when I am more relaxed. Is this normal or should I be concerned if I do not get a good orgasm at my age? I try to masturbate about twice a week. Would it still be helpful more often than that?

It is natural for me to just do very heavy breathing when I do it. When I finally get a partner, I understand that I will be face down on top of them, like masturbating prone. Why is that OK when masturbating prone isn't?

Is it safe to taste semen as I have never done it as I do not know if it is safe or not?

I think it would be good for you to discuss masturbating and your other sexual issues with a friend of yours. Do not be nervous about it. All your friends and all the other males you know have masturbated, as have the vast majority of the females you know. Nearly all of the men your age have been masturbating for over 30 years. It is typical to have reduced ejaculate volume as you get older. Twice a week is not very often, and most males your age who are not sexually active masturbate more than that.

Having vaginal intercourse in the prone position is safe for a man even though masturbating prone isn't, because a woman's vagina provides resistance. A mattress doesn't. Easting your own semen is perfectly safe and about 11 percent of men clean up after masturbating that way.

How long should the sensation before ejaculating last?

If you're talking about the plateau stage, where a male is certain he will ejaculate soon if he continues what he's doing, it's fun to make it last as long as possible, perhaps as long as a minute. The orgasm stage, which includes ejaculation, generally only lasts about eight seconds.

I am gay but not completely out of the closet. I have been with women, sexually and relationshipwise, but have been brought up to be ashamed of my homosexuality, and I have never been sexually active with a male. At 29 years old, I have only masturbated regularly once or twice a week for many years. After reading and realizing how far behind I am in the amount of masturbation I've done, as compared to the males who responded to your survey, I want to know what is wrong with me. Why do I feel like masturbating isn't a good thing. How do I fix this problem? Please don't say see a doctor. (age 29)

Keep in mind that those males who answered my survey were readers of a masturbation web site. They are almost certainly more avid practitioners of masturbation than the average male. Some males, even ones who aren't sexually active, are content masturbating only once or twice a week. I have to believe that your issue with masturbating stems from being ashamed of your homosexuality. Surely there are many online support groups you could join and get to know other gay men who are in your same situation. In most of those groups, you can use a handle and be completely anonymous. Don't worry that you're in a masturbating competition with my readers.

I am 35 and like to masturbate twice a day. My friends say that's way too much. What is normal for a 35 year old man?

According to a survey of over 10,000 males by in the second half of 2007, the average man in the 35-39 age group has 7.94 orgasms per week.

I am 19 and I've been in the habit of masturbating at bedtime for 10 years. Yes, since I was 9. I can't get to sleep without doing it. I tried having sex recently and it just wasn't working for me. I feel like I'm desensitized to having sex because I've been masturbating nightly for so long.

I don't think your problem is masturbation but why you can't get to sleep. Many, many males masturbate at bedtime. But I don't think very many would say they couldn't get to sleep if they didn't masturbate. So deal with that first. Then, when it comes time to have sex again, abstain from masturbating for 4-5 days (er, nights) beforehand and see if you're enjoying sex more.

I recently met a girl through mutual friends and I think she's cute and I would like to get a chance to get to know her. We met for 30 minutes and I'm thinking about her in a sexual way and am thinking about masturbating to her. Is this normal or OK? I barely know her. (age 18)

Are you sure you're 18? If you're asking for my permission to fantasize about a girl you met, I think you might be closer to 11. Most people fantasize about those they find attractive. Some people avoid fantasizing about people that they might actually have to deal with in real life and instead fantasize about celebrities or people in pictures and videos.

Every time I masturbate, which is about once a day, my head gets very sensitive and I can only masturbate my shaft. If I rub my head or include it in the stroke while masturbating, I urinate. (age 14)

It is normal for the head to get too sensitive to be touched when the penis is aroused. This can be reduced as a factor by using lubricant when you masturbate. Nearly everyone likes to urinate before masturbating in order to keep the need to urinate from intruding.

As a teenager, I used to masturbate several times per week, but now I don't even get the urge to do it. I find it easy to go 2+ weeks without masturbating. Is this unhealthy? (age 20)

Yes, very. Frequent ejaculation is good for your sexual organs, and fun too. You are putting yourself at risk for prostate trouble by ejaculating so little. Most men your age masturbate about once a day. If you're lacking the sexual urge, maybe you're depressed. It might be good to talk to your doctor to find out what's wrong.

I masturbate in bed almost every night and it really disrupts my sleeping schedule, and I try to stop semen from getting on my sheets. I have masturbated in the shower once or twice and really enjoyed the sensation. Our house is really small and there is very little privacy and I don't have much time when showering! Could you please give me some suggestions on places and ways to masturbate that require minimum clean up afterwards, and also how to request more privacy from family members without giving anything away? (age 14)

The place for maximum privacy is in bed. You report masturbating there almost every night, so obviously you know that. Most guys ejaculate onto their stomachs and then clean up afterward with no problem. If worry about spraying onto your sheets is really bothering you, then try it with a condom a few times. Some guys like it and some don't. I suggest you read my page about getting caught masturbating for tips about dealing with family members.

There is this girl that I talk to a lot and she is 21. I masturbate to her voice and we talk about sex and all that. The laws of my state say 16 is the age of consent so is there anything wrong with this? (age 14)

Being the younger one, I don't think you have to worry about the law, but if she asked me, I would tell her not to engage in phone sex with minors.

I have been masturbating since I was 10. I only knew that it was fun. When I learned what it really was, I started doing it even more. I joke with my cousin about masturbation but not tell him I actually do it. Before I started producing semen, we were about to watch a movie in my room. He said he would not sit on my bed if I had masturbated before, but I kept denying it. Sometimes my cousins cannot keep things to themselves, but I want to tell him I do and that it would not matter anyway as wet dreams are part of the equation, but I think it will affect our relationship. What should I do? (age 12)

If you are not comfortable telling your cousin that you masturbate, then don't tell him. If you don't want him to keep asking you about it, then stop making jokes about it. Better to tell him you just don't want to talk about it.

I really like this girl from school and sometimes I masturbate while imagining her nude. Is this wrong to do? (age 12)

Most boys your age do that. It's only wrong if you think it is. If you really like her, why not invite her to do something fun. I think you'll like that better than imagining her nude.

I started masturbating during my pre-puberty days. As far as I can remember, I was 7 or 8 when I started rubbing my penis. I could reach orgasm every time even though there was no ejaculation. I ejaculated the first time a few weeks before my 14th birthday. Lately, I have noticing a white semi-solid substance coming out of my penis when I masturbate. It smells like semen but it is semi-solid & sticky. Usually it happens if I have a gap of 3-4 days between masturbations. When I am masturbating once a day, my semen shoots out in normal manner. Do I need to check up with a doc? (age 19)

Frequent ejaculation is good for your sex organs. You might have one or more components of semen getting old inside you if you take four or more days between ejaculations. Sometimes they can form into clumps. I don't think it's anything to worry about if the problem goes away simply by your ejaculating more often. If you tell the doctor, he will probably order a semen analysis, which means you will have to go 3-4 days without ejaculating and then masturbate at his office.

How does one learn to last longer while masturbating? All my life I've had a very sensitive glans and from the time I get erect to when I orgasm is around one minute. It's really just an annoyance. I orgasm so soon I can't really get into the groove to enjoy the moment. (age 16)

When you feel your orgasm coming, try to keep going for another 10 seconds. Then when you've learned that, try for 20 seconds, and so on. It might also help to masturbate more often. If you did it twice as often as you do now, you are likely to find it takes you longer.

I have been masturbating since I was about 9 (I figured it out by myself before I knew what it was) and now I'm 13 and not sure if puberty has even started. Did my early masturbation delay puberty or am I just a late bloomer? (age 13)

There is nothing at all late about puberty not having started at 13. How are you sure you haven't? If you're ejaculating semen, you've started puberty. If your body hair is growing in, you've started puberty. Even if you haven't started puberty yet, masturbating did not delay it.

I normally masturbate by stroking the bottom of my penis rather than by making a fist around it. I masturbate through my underwear sometimes (bad habit that resulted from my initial self-discovery) and clean up afterward. I stroke almost exclusively on the bottom side with my hand. I read your site and got scared about whether what I am doing is safe or not. Is it? is incredibly helpful to me. (age 18)

It is better if you can masturbate to orgasm using a gentle fist around your penis instead of stroking exclusively in one spot.

I haven't had a wet dream before. I have been masturbating since I was 12, but only pure liquid comes out and it's sticky. Is this normal or not? (age 15)

Yes, that is very normal and healthy. You will probably never have wet dreams.

I am a virgin. If I stopped prone masturbation forever but also stopped masturbating completely, after 4 to 5 years of no masturbation, if I get a partner to have intercourse with, would I be able to ejaculate and finish? (age 24)

I don't believe you'll be able to stop masturbating completely. Masturbating is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It is the best practice for successful intercourse. Why not give up prone now; start masturbating conventionally in 1-2 weeks, and then look for a partner immediately instead of waiting 4-5 years. You're too old to be a virgin.

Can a doctor tell if you've masturbated before? (age 13)

No, but as you get older it's easier for one to guess correctly.

Have you heard of penis health creme? They will protect and keep the skin free of common irritations like chafing, dryness and soreness. I use one and it works great.

A "penis health creme" is just a lotion specifically marketed for penile use. If you don't need a lotion (which is what you use in case of chafing, dryness, or soreness), then using one will not help anything. If you need a lotion, any decent brand is as good as any other.

I'm a virgin but every time I masturbate, I have an orgasm. I started when I was 12. Can all my masturbating lead to my not having an orgasm during sex? (age 18)

No. Masturbating is good practice for sex, for both males and females.

I read about prone masturbation, but I am not sure what I do qualifies. Instead of humping, I lie face down and rub my hand along my penis, as I would do face up. I masturbate face up sometimes as well, but the prone position is more pleasurable to me. Is this dangerous as well? (age 17)

That is not prone masturbation (lying prone and thrusting the penis into or against something) but I have never heard of anyone doing that. You obviously have less range of motion when you're masturbating that way, and I suspect your penis is making some contact with the surface below you. I would urge you to quit that position while you're still young.

Last night for the first time ever, a girl let me reach down inside her pants. I felt her soft, wonderful crease, but I was surprised that there wasn't any hair there. Shouldn't a girl of 16 have pubic hair? Why do you suppose she doesn't have any? (age 16)

Congratulations on getting to know a girl better! She most likely has pubic hair but shaves or waxes it. Telling her how much you like her and enjoy touching her will get you further than being shocked at her lack of hair.

What types of injuries may occur from prone masturbation? Is anything associated with having trouble defecating? I have had extreme problems getting erections and defecating. (age 24)

Out of thousands of males I've interacted with who have masturbated prone, only a handful have reported any physical injuries attributable to prone masturbation. I have never heard of anyone having bowel trouble from it. You should give up prone masturbation ASAP and see your doctor about your other troubles.

I am 14 and I don't really masturbate. I have occasionally touched my penis but it is just touching and nothing has ever happened from doing it. I have a wet dream about every 8-10 days and I enjoy them a lot. From reading, I understand that most guys have the same orgasms from masturbating that I get from wet dreams, and I understand that a lot of guys who have wet dreams don't like them and wish they would go away. I also understand that if I started having orgasms from masturbating that my wet dreams will eventually stop. Since I enjoy my wet dreams, should I keep them going or should I learn to masturbate?

Overwhelmingly, males prefer masturbating to wet dreams. Since you like the feeling of a wet dream (i.e., orgasm), you would enjoy that feeling even more if you were completely awake for it and could make it happen every day; perhaps more than once a day (at least some days). More than 90 percent of males your age have made a regular habit of masturbating, and the rest of them, including you, will be doing so before age 18. So why not give it a try? If you masturbate three times a week or less, you might be able to keep your wet dreams for a while.

I recently discovered that I'm circumcised. My parents never told me; I discovered circumcision through I would like to confront my parents about this, but without revealing that I masturbate. How do you suggest that I go about doing this? (age 13)

You can certainly discuss circumcision without bringing masturbation into the discussion. I assume you're showering at school now with other boys, so if asked how you know about circumcision, you could say that you've seen other boys in the shower who are different.

Unless your parents are still producing children, it's unlikely that confronting them about your circumcision is going to make any difference.

I've been masturbating for about 6 months now. I have some pubic hair but I'm not ejaculating. Sometimes when I stop near orgasm and do it again I get a little pre-cum, but that's it. Am I doing something wrong? (age 13)

I doubt it, but when you feel close to orgasm, keep going. Don't stop. Make the orgasm happen, and when your body is ready to ejaculate, you will ejaculate at that point.

When my girlfriend and I cuddle and kiss, I usually have pre-cum by the end. Is this normal? Could this be a sign of premature ejaculation? (age 16)

That is very normal and has nothing to do with premature ejaculation. You are very lucky to have a girlfriend who likes to cuddle and kiss, and you are lucky that your body responds appropriately.

When I masturbate, I usually reach orgasm in a little more than a minute. After I orgasm, my penis is too sensitive to continue. (age 13 and 1 month)

Both of those are normal at your age. Try to last about 10 seconds later each month. Then when you're 13 and 7 months, you'll be able to go for two minutes.

I have been masturbating frequently for 7-8 years and my puberty is over. I find that my bones are weak. What should I do? I am having medical exams for the army in a few days.

Puberty only lasts about a year. If you have been masturbating 7-8 years and are going into the army, yours has been over for at least five years. Masturbating does not make your bones weak. It does not make your muscles weak either. If there is something wrong with your bones or your body, the doctor will tell you so, but I promise the problem has nothing to do with masturbating. Most males your age masturbate daily or nearly so, and that's true in the armed services too.

Is it considered prone masturbation if you bunch up your blankets and stick your penis in the middle and simulate doggy style? (age 20)

Yes. Prone masturbation means to lie face down and thrust your penis into or against something, like bunched up bedding.

I have masturbated 16 times in the past 4 to 5 months. My hands have become thin and also my legs. How can I recover? (age 19.5)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Most men your age masturbate daily. It is good and good for you. It will not make any part of you thinner. Lifting weights is good for your arms and legs, and after your daily muscle workout, plan a masturbating session too. You will enjoy it more if you do it more than once a week.

I am temporarily sharing a bedroom with my 16-year-old brother, who masturbates at night. He says all guys do it. Is this true, and will I? (age 11)

Yes, it is true, and you will. Masturbation is an inevitable and happy part of the male experience. A pretty good portion of the boys your age are already masturbating, and just about all will be by age 14. If your brother's masturbating bothers you, then ask him to do it when you're not in the room.

Why do males ejaculate so quickly? (female, age 22)

It likely goes back to primitive times when sex had to be over quickly or a predator would have a chance to sneak up. Many males have also trained themselves to reach orgasm quickly in masturbation instead of stretching their sessions out and enjoying them longer.

I found an unused condom in the bedding of the bed where my husband sleeps during his work week. He says he uses it to masturbate with. Do men really masturbate with condoms, or is he cheating on me? (age 36)

Most males have tried masturbating with condoms, and if your husband is sleeping in a temporary bed for his work week, it's possible he doesn't want to risk getting semen on it. Or it could be he's cheating. I don't know him.

I take my hand and make a loose fist and go up and down my penis.
1. When I masturbate, sometimes my semen will be yellow with dark spots and one time it was clear with a red line in it. Are these colors bad?
2. Again when I masturbate, I will feel pleasure and some precum will come out but then I have a pain ranging from the base of my penis to my tailbone. Is this bad?
3. If I were to have sex with my girlfriend, could I do her harm because we are too young or not experienced enough? (age 13)

What you describe is the usual way for a male to masturbate.
1. You are young and might not be producing all the elements of semen yet, so don't worry about the yellow and dark spots. However, the red could be blood, and it leads me to believe you are using too much force. Try to use a lighter grip.
2. Pain is not good. It leads me to believe you are using too much force. Try to use a lighter grip. It might also help to do it less often until you are able to masturbate successfully without pain.
3. Sex can be very destructive at your age. Wait until you are much older.

I've always been really open about masturbating and that sort of stuff. Since I started masturbating when I was 13 I've always done it standing up in the shower so I won't get caught. The water drowns out the noise and I can just wash my semen down the drain. Can masturbating standing up be hurtful like prone masturbating? I can masturbate lying down just fine. (age 16)

Masturbating standing up is not at all hurtful. It's up to you to decide how comfortable it is relative to your other options.

I used to masturbate almost every day and it started causing some physical and health problems like concentration, being lazy, and now I feel like I'm really skinny although I have started going to the gym which has helped boost my stamina. When I masturbate, for the next few days, my head and ears get red and it burns. I have now stopped daily masturbating. I go about 2 weeks then I feel like I want to masturbate but I'm worried the ear burning and things like guilt will return in my head and bother me. (age 20)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It does not cause you to lose your concentration, be lazy, or get skinny. It does not make your head and ears get red and burn. Most males your age who are not sexually active masturbate about once a day, sometimes more. Please read this page about the health benefits of frequent masturbation.

I always worry that I will get erect when a doctor examines my penis. How can I prevent this? (age 16)

The doctor has seen many erect penises, and the doctor also masturbates. If it really bothers you, bring on an erection 20 minutes before you will be examined. Then by the time of the exam, your erection will be gone and you won't get one for another hour.

I have a trip planned with three friends. We will be sharing a room. Will I be able to masturbate? Should we do it together? (age 16)

Please see the page about masturbating in college dorms for suggestions on dealing with this situation. I doubt you'll do it together, but if you really can't do it in the bathroom, then you'll either have to do it furtively when you think the others are asleep or make arrangements with them for private time in the room.

This has been bothering me since high school. In the summer between my junior and senior years, an unattractive girl that I didn't know well (or at all) who was two years younger asked me if I masturbate, in front of a few friends of hers (none of whom I knew well, or at all). I was very embarrassed and didn't answer. Then one of the friends said, "she just asked if you masturbate." I was not only embarrassed by the question, I was embarrassed because I masturbated. Then another girl who was in earshot, whom I didn't know well either, but thought was cute, took sympathy on me and told me those kids were just plain immature. Apparently the cute girl was not in favor with those kids either, because one of them said she was a lesbian and I must be gay for talking to her. (She was not, and neither am I.) How should I have handled this differently? (age 23)

I agree wholeheartedly that those kids were immature. They should be embarrassed by their verbal assault on you, and the girl. It is typical when you are 17 to be embarrassed about masturbating. Most males say they felt less embarrassed about it at age 18. First of all, you should realize that masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Accepting that makes it easier to decide what to do in your situation. Making the question even less friendly was that all males at that age masturbate, so that by even asking, she was questioning your masculinity. I think most guys would have just walked away from that unfriendly girl. A guy with a lot of nerve would have said, "Yes, I do. Do you have a problem with that?" But of course it is entirely up to you to decide who, if anyone, you discuss masturbating with. I personally think it would be fun to turn the question back onto her by asking, "Do you?" If she says, "I asked you first," say, "Then you answer first." Then no matter what she says, say, "I'm done talking about this."

I also take issue with your describing the girl as unattractive. Would you have found her question less offensive and embarrassing if she were good looking?

How does it feel for a girl to masturbate? (male, age 14)

You would get a better idea reading the page about female masturbation or girls' first orgasms. Among females who've learned how to masturbate to orgasm, the feeling is not much different from what a male feels.

I have been masturbating since age 10 and do it every day. My family spent the whole Thanksgiving week at my grandparents' house, and with 15 people there, I had no chance to masturbate. We got home Sunday night and I woke up early Monday morning really needing to do it. I laid a towel in front of the toilet to catch my semen, and I was amazed at the amount I squirted out. If you don't masturbate for a while, does your prostate stretch out to accommodate the amount of semen your body produces? (age 14)

All of your bodily organs that produce or store fluids can stretch to hold extra. You did not hurt yourself by taking a week off from masturbating.

One day I noticed a lump on the back of my left testicle. My doctor ordered an ultrasound and they found a spermatocele. He told me that the spermatocele is benign and it didn't required surgery but that he will have to "watch it closely" because it tends to grow. Does too much sex or frequent masturbation makes it grow? (age 22)

No. Masturbation and sex do not cause growths on the testes. Do what your doctor says and keep your appointments for your periodic examinations.

Lately I have had this thing where I feel a need to get naked and sort of wash myself when I'm in a one-person bathroom with a locking door. I haven't actually masturbated in there but just kind of had this compulsion to do the nudity and washing thing three or four times in recent months. I've done it in a hospital, a motel, and on an airplane. Is there anything wrong with getting naked in bathrooms like that? I worry that something is going to happen. (age 13)

If you're behind a locked door, you shouldn't be so worried about what is going to happen. I worry that you might try that sometime when there is no lock on the door, or a malfunctioning one. Think about somebody you wouldn't want to see you naked and washing yourself in an inappropriate place. If you think about that person catching you, then maybe you'll stop doing it.

P.S. Really, an airplane? Those bathrooms are TINY!

I'm working at giving up prone. I have an extremely high sex drive. Whenever I'm in the shower, I get a raging hard erection. I usually soap my penis and my scrotum because I'm kind of a clean freak. When I'm abstaining from masturbating to switch from prone, could this affect my progress? (age 20)

I doubt it. But if you want to be extra careful, don't. I'm sure your privates will be OK without directly getting soaped. Usually soapy water from your upper body runs down over them and gets them pretty clean.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost two years and have decided that we're going to wait to have intercourse until we're married. She's 20 and we both frequently masturbate (occasionally in front of each other), but she does not let herself have an orgasm, wanting to save it like her virginity. I feel guilty about nasturbating to orgasm in front of her, and I'm beginning to fear that when we finally have sex, she'll be anticipating the greatest sensation ever and I may not be able to deliver. Any advice? (age 23)

Congratulations on having a partner that you're sexually compatible with. If your girlfriend has consciously decided not to have orgasms before marriage, then you need not feel guilty for having them. Even most men whose partners want to have orgasms but don't have them don't feel particularly guilty about it. The male body is built for having orgasms and those are what you need and enjoy. Don't worry now about her not having immediate orgasms when you get married. She ought to understand that there will be a learning curve for her sexual response.

When I masturbate, I keep myself from ejaculating and then my testes hurt. Is this bad? Should I just let it loose? (age 16)

If your testes hurt, something is wrong. Truly, the pain is coming from your prostate gland, not your testes. Your prostate gland really wants you to let it loose. Your prostate gland has a way of punishing you when you don't do what it wants, and it's giving you a preview of that with the pain.

Usually my little brother (who's 6) falls asleep at 9, so I just masturbate in bed. A few days ago, I was jerking off and he woke up. I am always prepared with tissues, and I was under the covers so I don't think he saw, but he asked me "What are you doing?" I'm afraid he might tell our parents. (age 13)

Your parents already know or suspect that you masturbate. What are you going to do differently if he tells them? I think you ought not share a bedroom with a boy that young, and if you must, it might be a good idea to masturbate in the bathroom or when he's not home. Don't you get home earlier from school than he does?

Is there any way I can increase the chances of a wet dream or to make myself have one? (age 12)

If you are already masturbating to orgasm, then you will probably never have a wet dream. If you have not ejaculated for the first time, then if you don't masturbate, there is a very good chance that your first ejaculation will come from a wet dream. Don't worry if you never have one. Nearly all males who've had them agree that waking orgasms are better and more fun.

I have these fantasies about this girl named Alexa that I really like. I have tried to stop them but I can't. Is there a way to stop them? (age 12)

Why do you want to stop them? If you really like Alexa, then you should want to have more fantasies about her. If the fantasies are really bothering you, then fantasize about other people, and maybe the fantasies about Alexa will become less important.

I am unmarried and start to feel sexual pressure when going without ejaculation even for one day, and I get relief when I masturbate, and I feel guilty about it as my girlfriend says she masturbates occasionally and does not feel any sexual pressure and can go wihout masturbation for many days. Is this true? If yes, how are their sexual fluids released? (age 27)

Ejaculation is necessary for males to empty their sexual fluids. Most authorities believe that females do not ejaculate. They don't have the same need for expelling sexual fluids that males do. The main reason females masturbate is for fun. You ought not feel guilty because masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Anyway, your girlfriend does it too. Maybe you can do it together sometime!

Help me. I first masturbated on April 11 when I was 16 and since April 18 that same year I have been unable to stop. What can I do? (age 18)

You don't need help and shouldn't want to stop. Instead of being ashamed of masturbating, you should accept it as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Why not celebrate April 11 every year as a milestone?

I was masturbating with lube and some got inside my penis. How can I get it out? (age 18)

When you ejaculated, it probably came out. When you urinate next, the rest of it will be flushed out. If the substance was made for use as a sexual lube, then you probably need have no worry about getting it inside your urethra anyway.

How do I measure my penis? Should I do it when it is erect? (age 19)

Measure along the top of your erect penis like this:

I masturbate once a day and have been doing so for the past 2 years. I am also obsessed with exercise and want to build muscles. Do you think my masturbation at this rate would affect my muscle growth? Also, while having sex with my partner, after 10 minutes I lose my erection and then again get it hard and again lose my erection. Is this normal? How much masturbation if I am into body building? (age 22)

Masturbating once a day at your age is normal and healthy. It will make no difference in your muscle growth. However, most males who are sexually active cut back on their masturbating to better enjoy their orgasms with their partners. Try abstaining from masturbating for 2-3 days before your next intercourse and see if it makes any difference in your erections.

Two or three times a month I masturbate by letting the water jet from the shower hit my penis while I slowly stroke it. Will it have any ill effects in future? (age 21)

It is better if you don't masturbate with running water. There is nothing a partner can do during sex that will feel like running water hitting your penis. Usually it is females who get in the habit of masturbating with running water. It is a bad habit that you can do without and give up easily, since you only do it two or three times a month. See my page about developing variety in masturbation/

I am a porn addict and I love to masturbate (almost 6 days a week) but it lasts only for a couple of minutes. I am worried about whether I will last longer in reality. Does the time increase during intercourse? (age 19)

I don't think you are a "porn addict." Most males your age are in the habit of using visual aids to improve and speed up their masturbation sessions. You don't even masturbate as often as the average man your age. You should expect to last 1.5 to 2 times longer in intercourse because that's the experience of most. If you want to convince yourself that you're not completely dependent on porn, make a point of masturbating once every week or two without visual aids.

I've been reading your page, especially about bruising. For some time now I've noticed the bottom part of my head is darker red sometimes pale red-purple, and after a shower it's usually lighter or pink but still sort of puffed up. I am uncircumcised. Is it possible for men with foreskin to get bruising? Is what I described bruising? I've tried K-Y but it's the same, but I applied it for 2 weeks about a month and a half ago. (age 17)

Yes, uncircumcised males can bruise their penises. Maybe even more likely to do so because the uncircumcised head is more sensitive and not as accustomed to being exposed. What you describe is not bruising. If the lube makes you enjoy masturbating more, then continue to use it; but I don't think you need it for the coloration of your penis.

I have been masturbating prone for many, many years. I have quit only when I had to, when I had a girlfriend. I know you don't believe guys who say they quit masturbating, but I stopped for a month while we were having sex. I might have a new girlfriend soon.

Can I masturbate by hand using a condom? Isn't this better than using a bare hand? I also find lube to be messy and impractical.

I suggest giving up prone masturbation ASAP and learning to masturbate with your hand. You can give masturbating by condom a try, but nearly all guys who switch do so by masturbating by hand. Only very few guys prefer masturbating with a condom to using their hands. Some guys only do it when they need to be especially careful not to get semen anyplace, like when they masturbate at a friend's house. Once you've learned to masturbate by hand, you can try introducing lube.

It's good that you might have a new girlfriend soon. I've heard of many males using the pressure of getting a new girlfriend to help them expedite their switch to hand masturbation.

P.S. Many males stop masturbating when they're having frequent sex; the ones I don't believe are the ones who masturbated daily for years and then claimed they just stopped one day.

I have a thing around (not on) my testicles mainly the larger left one. I told my dad and he said it was the tubes that semen goes through. They first appeared when I was about 12 1/2.Ithey do not hurt but occasionally seem to vibrate when I'm aroused. (age 13)

I would suggest having a doctor check them out and see if he verifies what your dad said.

I've been masturbating for almost a year, and helped teach me the basics before I started. I foolishly started out using shampoo as a lubricant, before I learned how to use strictly my hand. I don't use any type of soap any more and am well aware now of items that should not be used as a lubricant, but I noticed something interesting: After ejaculation when I used soap, my penis was too sensitive to touch like I'd seen on the site. After I started doing it the natural way, I was able to touch my penis and even masturbate to orgasm again right after ejaculation. I'm interested to know why this is? (age 14)

It is a good idea to use lube. Soap is a bad choice because it needs to be washed off right away, whether you're using it to masturbate or just to clean yourself. Please read my page about lube to learn about the different choices that are available to you.

I still haven't masturbated or ejaculated yet. I am worried that it might hurt or that it is TOO pleasurable. Should I try it out? (age 14)

Yes, absolutely you should try. I promise that it won't hurt. If it turns out to be too pleasurable, then do it at least once a day until you decide it isn't too pleasurable anymore.

What are the consequences of learning how to masturbate the conventional way, and later trying prone for a very brief period of time? (age 16)

Probably nothing. Males who learned to masturbate by hand (which is to say nearly all of them) find prone masturbation unsatisfying and tiring. It will not hurt you to masturbate prone for a brief period of time.

Is injaculation bad for the penis? Is it as bad as prone? (age 17)

Injaculation, which means to use force to keep onesself from ejaculating while masturbating (thereby sending the semen backward into the urinary bladder) is bad for the male genitalia and perhaps the penis. Whether or not it's as bad as prone, it is a habit that needs to be broken. Start letting your semen fly! Do not redirect it inside your body.

I recently started driving and think it would be a great thrill to masturbate while driving. (age 17)

It is a bad idea, especially if you are a new driver. You haven't had much experience with the hazards that can come up along the road. I suggest that you keep both hands on the wheel. That said, masturbating while driving is definitely safer than texting while driving.

I stopped masturbating for two weeks and I have started to feel the leak of semen. Is it normal? (age 16)

It is not at all normal at your age to stop masturbating for two weeks. Normal is to masturbate 14 times in those two weeks, and maybe more. Your semen wants to come out. You should not only let it, you should make it come out.

My 8 year old brother caught me masturbating. He keeps asking me what I was doing. What should I tell him? (age 14)

Just tell him you had an itch on your penis. With any luck, he won't ask any follow-up questions.

When I masturbate, I just put my hand down there and rub on it. Usually I don't ejaculate. It's so weird and it's driving me crazy because I know I'm not doing it correctly. I usually don't even think about girls while doing it either. Any tips on how to stop this? I've been doing it ever since I can remember. (age 18)

I suggest you start by reading my Young Man's Guide to Masturbation and concentrate on stroking your penis up and down with one hand until you ejaculate instead of just putting your "hand down there and rub." Thinking about girls (or maybe boys) will help you reach orgasm.

I masturbate a lot, maybe too much. When I ejaculate, my balls usually move up tighter under my penis. Is that normal? Sometimes when I ejaculate, it feels like something is tugging inside my balls. It doesn't hurt but it just feels different, like it's pulling or tugging inside. Does that mean anything is wrong? If I masturbate more then twice a day, my balls ache for a while, maybe for a couple hours, then it stops. It's not painful but it just aches. Does that mean I m doing it too much? I masturbate almost every day and 2 or 3 times a day some days. The most I did it in one day is 6 times. No semen came out after the fourth time and my balls ached and my penis hurt until the next day. When I did it again the next day, semen came out but not very much. Can I use up all my semen if I keep doing it so much? (age 13)

You are young and learning. The movement of your testes is normal. They pull close to the body right before you ejaculate so sperm can move from them into your prostate gland. The prostate gland is actually what's hurting when you think it's your testes. If you know it hurts if you masturbate more than twice a day, then you should learn to limit yourself to twice. You won't permanently run out of semen (it is refreshed constantly, like other bodily fluids) but it can run low if you ejaculate too often in a short period of time. Lots of boys your age masturbate 10 times a week or more, but within a year or two, not very many do.

For about the past month, I have been concerned about my ejaculation frequency. When I masturbate with my imagination, I like to hold back before orgasm to make it last longer. When I ejaculate, no semen comes out. Sometimes a liquidy stuff like urine. When I masturbate to images, I ejaculate heaps and it's definitely semen. What's going on? Can you see semen through a microscope? (age 14)

If you're ejaculating to images, you also should be ejaculating using only your imagination. It helps to urinate before masturbating so that you won't worry about leaking urine at the wrong time. You can see semen with the naked eye; it's the liquid that you ejaculate. I think you're asking if you can see sperm under a microscope. Yes, you can.

I discovered masturbation age 11. I am now 16 and only masturbate 1 or 2 times a week. Is this normal?

It is lower than normal. Most males your age masturbate daily or close to it. A team of researchers led by Dr. Graham Giles found that males who ejaculated most often when they were younger had the least incidence of prostate cancer later. Dr. Giles recommends that younger males masturbate at least six times a week. You can learn more about the health benefits of frequent masturbation here.

Lately I have been masturbating while texting girls. Is it OK for me to ask them if they masturbate too? (age 14)

Both of those are bad ideas. It is bad manners to masturbate while you are talking to someone without their permission. A girl might not like it if you ask if she masturbates. You wouldn't like it if she asked you, would you?

I am having a sperm count tomorrow and have been told not to masturbate for 3 days prior to the test. I had a wet dream last night. Will it affect my sperm count and should I change the appointment? (age 21)

Yes. What they told you was not to ejaculate for three days prior to the test. By having a wet dream, you broke the three days. You should reschedule the test.

I'm about to be 21 in a few months and sadly I have never dated a girl or have had any type of sexual relations. Is there any extreme negative side effect physically or mentally I should worry about? Are there any positive benefits I gain from being a virgin this late in life?

Males who remain virgins past the age of 21 are more likely to have sexual dysfunctions (like erectile dysfunction, arousal dysfunction, and orgasmic dysfunction) than males who make their sexual debut before age 20. You can resolve to become sexually active in the next few months or years. Just get out there and meet women and get to know them. You benefit from not having been exposed to any sexually transmitted diseases.

When I was 12, I masturbated in the shower. When I got to my bedroom, I looked at my penis and it looked different. It looked like it was shriveled up or something.

You did not ask a question, but everything about your experience is normal. Penises shrink and expand in reaction to temperature and running water and orgasm. If you haven't masturbated in the shower since you were 12, you should give it another try.

Can masturbating be a sport?

It is a sport the same way jumping rope and jogging and lifting weights are sports. All of them and masturbating are good for you and fun. You can make it more like a sport by keeping track of how often you do it and how long it takes, and monitoring your heart rate before and after.

It may not be in the Olympics, but it's the most popular workout regimen in the world.

When I was younger, my dad said he "would make sure to knock more often," but at the same time my mom suggested that she would kill me if I ever locked the door. I have never talked to her about porn or masturbation. I started masturbating when I was 15. I have no clue what to do. I am 17 but feel like a 12-year-old trying to hide my masturbation. There are so many mixed signals. If you thought that a parent would tell you to stop masturbating, would not bring it up?

You need to grow up and not worry about what your parents think. There is no reason to hide your masturbation from them. Just do it in private and enjoy it. You couldn't stop masturbating even if your parents ordered you to, which they won't.

Does masturbation/ejaculation reduce testosterone? Does it deplete nutrients that are essential for growth and development during puberty? After frequent ejaculation, I started to develop less facial hair. I used to get more. (age 14)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It is good for you. It does not reduce testosterone or deplete nutrients. I find it amazing that you think you are getting less facial hair at age 14. Most guys your age are barely starting to get facial hair. If you think you have a lot now, wait until you're older. You'll wish you didn't have to shave so often and won't worry a bit about masturbating.

I believe that lust and masturbation go together and lust is a sin, so I do not masturbate. I have not had sex either and do not look at pornography. I probably had my first wet dream at age 16. It was a surprise to me. Over the years, I've noticed that sometimes a full bladder will trigger a wet dream. Sometimes I remember the dream and sometimes not. Sometimes if I see more sexual imagery during the day like commercials on TV, a PG-13 or R movie, or just someone in real life, it can trigger a nocturnal emission that night or the next night. As you said, in my wet dreams, I'm usually approaching a clothed woman and giving her a hug or straddling her or her leg or about to use the restroom or using the restroom. It may happen every other month, sometimes once per week for three weeks in a row, and then a break, and just a few times twice in one night. I don't try to seek wet dreams out; they just happen. To me, it's interesting that in the unconscious dream world, something can transfer into reality. (age 33)

Your story does not ring true. 16 is very late for a first wet dream; most guys are done having wet dreams by age 16. The sporadic wet dream frequency you report would be most unsatisfying. A full bladder will not trigger a wet dream. I am led to believe that you are in denial about masturbating. Try to accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health, and you will feel less guilty and enjoy masturbating more. Not every sexual thought is lust.

The other night I got really aroused and I precummed a little. After that I masturbated and came. The next day I tried it again but I didn't cum, so I waited two days to try again and again I didn't cum. I haven't had a wet dream before but the other night was the first time I came. What is happening? (age 12)

You are young and learning. You ejaculated for the first time. I suspect the second time will happen within a few weeks, and then the third and fourth times and in the next 30 years will happen the next 10,000 times.

I have marks and some scablike things on the head of my penis. I wish I were joking. I have washed it, but I end up with this issue regardless. What's wrong with it and why does it look so disgusting? I'm too afraid to go to my doctor about it. (age 20)

Your doctor's job is to help solve your physical problems. Your doctor masturbates too. I would suggest putting a small amount of medicated lotion on the affected area a few times a day. Water-based sex lube works well too.

I want to share my first experience ejaculating. I was 14-15 when this first happened and am pretty sure I was getting close to having a wet dream but would always wake up right before it happened. I was fully erect and had strange sensations down there that would fade once I woke up. I was unaware of what was happening. Then within a few weeks of this starting, I was doing pull-ups. I had been getting a strange sensation down there but again didn't understand what it meant. I remember thinking it felt like I needed to urinate so I would just stop and the sensation would go away. One day I had just urinated so there was no urine to worry about, so I just kept on doing pull-ups and I ejaculated a big load right there in my underwear. I understand that physical exertion can cause this and I repeated the process many times afterward and then moved into masturbation by hand. Since I got with the hang of it, I have never stopped. Even today with a girlfriend, I still need to masturbate frequently as she just isn't up to sex as much as I would like, which I guess is quite a lot for someone my age. (age 37)

Thanks for the story, but you're not geriatric. Most men your age make themselves ejaculate at least four times a week, alone or with a partner. I'd be interested to know, where did you do these pull-ups, and did you have orgasms too or just ejaculate?

I find that I have to masturbate every day, even when I don't want to. I've tried several times to last a whole week without masturbating, but I can't make it even two days. Why can't I overcome this awful temptation that I feel constantly? (age 16)

Your mistake is thinking of masturbation as a terrible urge that you have to fight. Your having to ejaculate frequently just comes with being a grown male. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Most males your age do it about once a day, sometimes more. As you get older, you'll probably masturbate less (and have sex more) but you might be over 30 before you go a whole week without ejaculating.

Imagine going without food for a week. You could probably do it, and it wouldn't kill you, but think about how awful you would feel for that week, and how often you would be thinking about food. That's basically how you're making your body feel when you try to go without ejaculating longer than your body wants it.

Instead of thinking of masturbating as succumbing to a horrible temptation, think of it as how grown men keep their sexual organs in healthy functioning condition.

I'm a guy and I use porn from the internet a lot when I masturbate. I'm reading a lot lately about how internet porn is bad for you. Why is it worse than any other kind of porn, like magazines or videos? Will masturbating with porn make me less able in sex? (age 19)

I advise readers to be able to masturbate to orgasm at least twice a month without using any visual stimulation. The reason Internet porn is worse than non-Internet porn is that it is so extreme. In the old days, use of visual aids might be nothing more than Playboy, and many men never went beyond Playboy to any other kinds of visual aids. Some men next sought out more explicit magazines and then tried videos, and so forth. Today, a teen boy might skip the naked-photo stage altogether and go straight to hard-core (i.e., showing sex acts) video, even live sex shows online.

You're better off if you make internet porn only an occasional instead of a daily part of masturbation, and you're better off still if you can become aroused by something more tame than explicit.

Why do I feel ashamed of myself every time I finish masturbating? (age 13)

Because you're new to it. You haven't accepted masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. As you get older, you'll regard it as more normal and won't feel ashamed. Most of your friends do it too, and within a year or so, they all will.

Does it count as losing your virginity if you use a Fleshlight sex toy? (age 20)

No. The only way to lose your virginity is to have sex with another person.

What does masturbating feel like? (age 13)

The first part of it, called arousal, feels pleasant. Then there comes a stage called plateau where the person knows they'll reach orgasm soon if they keep up what they're doing. Plateau feels very, very good, and people who are experienced work to make this stage last longer, up to a minute. Near the end of plateau, the internal sex organs start contracting indicating that orgasm is imminent. Then comes orgasm. In the male, this is when semen is ejaculated from the body. Then comes the resolution phase. It's best to relax for as long as one can to stretch this phase out. When you're done relaxing, you'll feel really, really good, or maybe be asleep.

How can I make my semen shoot out more instead of just dribbling? (age 18)

If yours isn't shooting out forcefully, try holding in your ejaculate for one second. Use the same muscle (PC muscle) that you use to stop and start the flow of urine. When you feel yourself about to ejaculate, just tense this muscle for one second and then relax it. You should have a more forceful ejaculation that way. It only gets better as you get more experienced and have more control over your PC muscle. Kegel exercises help you control your PC muscle.

I switched from prone a few months ago, but I have still never achieved an orgasm. Just today I discovered a big spot on my penis. I can't tell if it's a wart or some kind of bug bite or something else. I'm honestly quite scared at this point, and I feel like I should see a doctor, but I'm too embarrassed to say anything about it to my parents. My dad almost walked in on me a few days ago. Do you have any advice? (age 16)

If you can't tell what it is, then you need to be examined by a doctor. Your dad knows that all 16 year old boys masturbate. Also, you don't need to tell him that you masturbate in order to report the spot. (Actually, he is apt to assume you're sexually active.)

Is it bad to masturbate in the shower or bath? (age 16)

I don't think anyone thinks so, except maybe the person who uses the shower or bath after you, if you didn't clean up.

We were driving down to Florida and had been in the car too long and we stopped at a rest area and I just needed relief so I went into the rest room and masturbated in a stall. It didn't take very long, and nobody saw or heard me. Did I do anything wrong? (age 15)

It is a bad idea to masturbate anyplace you don't have privacy. Highway rest areas are often dangerous places where anonymous sex takes place. The highway patrol knows this and sometimes has undercover officers monitoring the rest rooms for people having sex. If someone had discovered you masturbating there, you could have gotten in a lot of trouble. I suggest you wait until you're at your destination.

I sometimes have a dull ache in my abdomen after masturbating. Is this normal? I masturbate by hand. I'm worrying about this. (age 21)

That is a sign of an overworked prostate gland. Cut back to ejaculating only 3-4 times a week for a few weeks and see if it gets better. Please also read my page about prostatodynia.

How can I give up masturbation? I don't want to do it anymore. (age 15)

Masturbating is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Most males your age do it about once a day, sometimes more. Instead of trying to give it up -- which you will not succeed at until you have a regular sex partner -- you ought to accept masturbation as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. You'll enjoy it more after you do.

Masturbating is supposed to be fun and not a source of stress or shame.

Does masturbation feel better at night than it does during the day? (age 21)

The experience is a good one at any time of the day or night. Most people prefer to masturbate at bedtime because they have more privacy then, and sexual activity also leads naturally to sleep. You can also better control how much or little light you have at night than you can during the day when the sun is shining. Try it at different hours and different lighting conditions and see what you think.

Every time I jerk off and ejaculate, I get a cramp-like pain in my pubic area/abdominal area. I did not masturbate for 2-3 months and then I did it again and got the pain. Other sites say it's a prostate problem but I am healthy. (age 15)

Most boys your age masturbate about once a day. Going 2-3 months without ejaculating is not good for your prostate. Try masturbating more often and see if the pain goes away. If it doesn't, I suggest seeing your doctor.

Is it normal for the areola to swell and raise when I'm aroused? If so, why does this happen? (age 22)

That is normal. Often the nipples are engorged when the body is sexually arousal. Sometimes they get irritated by a close-fitting shirt. Most females and many males find it arousing to stimulate their nipples during sex or masturbation. It is perfectly fine.

When I masturbated after a 3 month break, I got pain between my anus and scrotum and pain in my abdomen. Is it a prostate infection or what? (age 16)

A three month break from masturbation is unheard of at your age. The area you describe is called the perineum. Chronic pain in that area could be originating in the prostate, but sudden pain after masturbating is more likely to be from rough masturbation. Only a doctor can diagnose a prostate infection. If the pain persists, see a doctor.

Follow-up: Could it be the prostate swelling because I didn't masturbate for a long time?

I encourage you to masturbate frequently, and as I said before, if the pain persists, see a doctor. Only a doctor can diagnose prostate swelling or infection. Get this checked out sooner rather than later.

Follow-up: The pain stopped after I masturbated for 2 days. Looks like it was just my prostate getting used to me masturbating again.

Good deal.

Another follow-up: I'm still having the pain.

Like I said before, if the pain persists, see a doctor. Do it this week. Don't be afraid to tell the doctor you masturbate. The doctor masturbates too.

Follow up from another reader: I occasionally have the same issue as the guy who has pain and worries that he has an infected prostate. If I go to the doctor, what will he do? (age 19)

The doctor will examine your testes and prostate and probably do urinalysis to look for infection. Whether he finds it or not, he will probably prescribe antibiotics on the idea that if you're having prostate trouble at your age, you have a sexually transmitted disease. He will do this even if you deny ever having had sex. If the problem persists, he will probably do semen analysis.

Follow-up: I went to the doctor and he said it's nothing and to keep masturbating more. Which I did. A week later I don't have any more pain and I masturbate a lot now. Thanks for the help.

Follow-up: By semen analysis, do you mean the doctor will have you masturbate in a cup?


When I masturbate by hand, I worry I'm harming it somehow. I don't know if it's because my skin's dry, or if it's the way I hold my penis or if I'm gripping too hard. I just don't know if I'm doing it right. I did it today and I still don't know if I'm doing it right.

Should I just grab my penis and stroke up and down? I do this and it feels OK, but something still feels wrong. Am I using too much force? Something just doesn't feel right. Please help. I'd hate to still be harming my penis somehow after giving up prone so many years ago. (age 22)

You could easily be using too much force. Stroking up and down is the way to go. You describe grabbing your penis like you're using a lot of force. Instead of grabbing it, just touch it lightly. A sex toy called the Super Head Honcho might help you learn to use less force.

What are your thoughts on the Fleshlight device? I read one of your comments where you recommended another device instead. Why? Thanks for your response. (age 32)

I always recommend the Super Head Honcho because it is a single soft piece and not encased in a hard plastic container like the Fleshlight. The Super Head Honcho has been recommended by sex therapists for overcoming delayed ejaculation, a problem that specializes in. The Super Head Honcho is also considerably cheaper than the Fleshlight (about $15 as opposed to $60).

My lower abdomen hurts after I masturbate. I do it every two weeks. (age 18)

That isn't nearly often enough. Most males your age masturbate every day. You might be having prostate trouble because of doing it so seldom. Try masturbating every day for a few weeks and see if the pain goes away. If not, see a doctor.

I think youre wrong about masturbation not affecting penis size. I think as you grow constant use of the blood capillaries in your penis would cause them to expand and grow. I masturbated frequently in youth but my brother did not. My penis is a lot bigger than his. (age 41)

You illustrate why I rarely answer questions about penis size. How do you know how often your brother masturbated when you were young, and how do you know the size of his erect penis now? Masturbation does not affect penis size.

I love wanking. I do it about 3 times a day. Sometimes I use my imagination. I find it boring to use my hand now and I was just wondering that is there anything I can use to masturbate that I can find in my household because I just want it to feel better and I'm getting more horny and the erections hurt if I try to hide them or don't masturbate them away. Thanks! (age 14)

You might be trying too hard. You might enjoy masturbating more if you didn't do it three times a day. Cut back to once a day for a few weeks and see if you like it better. At your age, guys have an erection about every 90-120 minutes. You don't have to masturbate every time you get an erection. This page will give you ideas about how to find more variety in your hand practice:

I don't masturbate but everyone I know of my age and older does. Is it OK for me to not masturbate? (age 12)

It's certainly OK to not masturbate at 12 but you will be sooner or later anyway. Ask anyone you know your age and older and they will tell you that masturbating is great fun. Once you start, you will wish you had started sooner. Masturbating is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.

I started masturbating when I was 14. I am now 19. I am a straight guy, but I get very horny when I watch guys on live webcams masturbating. I started to broadcast myself while masturbating and have gotten the most powerful orgasms doing this knowing someone is watching me. Is this normal?

Not very many people do that. If that is a way of masturbating, it is a pretty new way of masturbating. Keep in mind that people could be capturing your video streams and looking for clues to find out who you are. Maybe your face could be seen even for a second.

My friend recently started masturbating and now he talks about sex all the time. He goes on and on about penises, vaginas, oral sex, etc. I just don't want to talk about it all the time. What can I say to him? (age 13)

When he starts talking about penises, vaginas, and sex, tell him you'd rather not talk about those things, and then turn the conversation to video games, movies, Trump, sports, the weather, TV shows, etc. Keep in mind that most guys past puberty talk about sex a lot, so you should be prepared to do so at least occasionally.

How do boys who grow up in nudist cultures cope with having erections in front of others? (age 17)

I've never been to a nudist place, but I read the controversial 1960 book Summerhill about the boarding school of the same name where children played outdoors in the nude. There was no requirement for dress, but the author noted that most of the older boys chose to wear bathing trunks to conceal uncontrollable physical responses.

Where do guys masturbate? (female, age 15)

Overwhelmingly, males prefer to masturbate in bed. There was a time when males shared bedrooms and in those days the bathroom was more popular. For a time about 10 years ago, the computer desk became the second most favorite place for guys to masturbate. But in the last 5 years or so, desktop computers have gotten less popular and so now guys are masturbating in bed more than ever, often using handheld computers (laptops, phones, tablets) to help.

Why do some people take off all their clothes before masturbating? It seems unnecessary to get naked when you can masturbate just by unzipping. (age 18)

It's a turn-on for people to be able to see more of their own bodies. Also, having a shirt on makes some guys worry about ejaculating onto it. If you know what you're doing, you're going to take your pants all the way off, because having them on at all restricts your motion. However much or little you wear is up to you.

I masturbate daily. I have no idea if anyone knows, but I think I might be addicted to pornography. What do I do? (age 12)

How sad that you suspect yourself of porn addiction at age 12. Masturbating daily is just fine. Do it without any pictures or videos for a few weeks. Then you will know you're not an addict.

There is a girl I know who I can't stop thinking about. I feel like 97% of the time I am thinking about her and having an erection. Is something wrong? (age 12)

No. But identify other girls you enjoy thinking about and don't spend 97% of your time on the one.

I learned to masturbate by pressing my penis against my abdomen and briskly rubbing it left and right across. What is this called? Is it dangerous? I have failed to masturbate any other way. (age 14)

I've never heard of that having a name. I think it is dangerous because anything other than masturbating by hand can lead to serious sexual difficulties. You are young and ought to be able to learn to masturbate by hand fairly quickly. Why don't you take about a week off from the left and right masturbating across your abdomen and then learn to masturbate by hand? Your penis will be more sensitive at the end of that week to allow you to reach orgasm by a new method.

Why is masturbation called jacking off? (age 20)

"Jacking off" is a slang term that refers to male masturbation to the point of orgasm, or ejaculation. The term is derived from "ejaculate." Some women refer to their masturbation as "jilling off." Get it?

Would the world be different if nobody masturbated? (age 16)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It is practiced by the male of every species of mammal. It is just something we all do. It is not bad for the world. It is good and good for you, and by extension, good for the world. If we couldn't masturbate, there might be more crime and violence.

I have been ejaculating regularly since I was 16. I'm currently masturbating 1-3 times a day as I have for the past few years but lately I've noticed that a clear precum-like discharge slowly seeps out of my penis after I've ejaculated and cleaned up. This is pretty annoying as it often soaks into my underwear or sheets, leaving wet spots. I'm not sexually active so I can't see how it could be an STI or sexual disorder. Is this something that I should worry about or should I just be more thorough in cleaning up? (age 22)

That is very normal. You can get the last drops out by pressing gently on your perineum and stroking gently upward along your urethra toward the end of your penis.

Do you have to have pre-cum first before the semen? How do I know if I can have kids when I'm older? (age 14)

Yes, you have pre-cum first, but it's often the case that the pre-cum only comes out immediately before the semen and is not recognized as distinct. Most men find out they can have kids when they get a woman pregnant. If they're having trouble getting one pregnant, they go to the doctor for a semen analysis.

Can masturbation in the teen years cause erectile dysfunction around 50 years and more? (age 17)

No. Masturbating in the teen years is normal, healthy, and fun, and even good for male sexual health. Masturbating and sexual intercourse keep your body in good functioning condition. Not ejaculating regularly is what causes sexual function to deteriorate.

I sometimes feel a dull ache in my abdomen after masturbation, even when I don't do it regularly. Why is this? (age 22)

You're not masturbating often enough. The prostate gland and other sexual organs need regular ejaculation. Make a point to masturbate at least six times a week.

I have become incredibly attracted to a boy a year older than me. I want to be his boyfriend. I often have sexual fantasies involving him and myself, but in real life I would prefer to just hold his hand and make out with him. I am also attracted to a girl, but less so. I only fantasize sexually about her, and I can't imagine being her boyfriend. Does this make me gay? (age 14)

You are pretty young and you don't indicate that you've done anything physical with either males or females. Your fantasies mean that you might be gay, you might be straight, or you might be bisexual. I think you should take some more time to get to know both boys and girls and see what direction your interests take you.

I am an 83 year old widower. I been alone for 12 years. I ejaculated from masturbation the first time at age 11. I have been doing it ever since. Lately I have not been able to produce semen. Is there any supplement that will help?

That is a question for a doctor, probably a urologist. I doubt a home remedy like a supplement would help. It sounds like your body has stopped producing one or more of the components of semen. Most men can still masturbate to orgasm in your situation, although it is a dry orgasm.

I'm 4.5" erect and am overweight. Would 4.5" pleasure a girl? I've been masturbating twice a day recently and noticed the amount I ejaculate has gone down. What should I do? (age 16)

There is nothing wrong with masturbating twice a day, but most males your age only do it about once a day. It is not unusual that your ejaculate volume has decreased when you're doing it that often. It might be part of your erection is being buried in abdominal fat. As you lose weight, you might find your penis is longer. 4.5 inches is plenty long enough to satisfy a female. You might find you both enjoy it more if you were in healthier shape. Work on that and don't worry so much about your penis size.

I am a 31 year old virgin with a lifelong suppression of my libido due to medications I've taken since I was 4. I didn't even have a desire to kiss until I was in my 20s. I rarely get aroused and I hate masturbating because all I ever get from it is tired and sore with no orgasm. How can I find enjoyment and pleasure in masturbation if all I ever feel from stimulation is dizzy, tense, and in pain?

I suggest talking to your doctor about getting off those medications and either going without or switching to something that doesn't cause sexual side effects.

If two boys are identical twins, are their penises identical? (female, age 14)

Yes, they are. Not only that, they are likely to masturbate at the same frequency. According to "The Orgasm Answer Guide," "Kate Dunn reported the responses to questionnaires from almost 1400 women in the TwinsUK study group. About half of women were identical twins and half were fraternal twins. There was considerable variability in the frequency of their orgasms during intercourse or masturbation. However, the identical twins were much more similar in their frequency of orgasm than were the fraternal twins."

Does masturbation feel better at night than during the day? (age 14)

The experience is a good one at any time of the day or night. Most people prefer to masturbate at bedtime because they have more privacy then, and sexual activity also leads naturally to sleep. You can also better control how much or little light you have at night than you can during the day when the sun is shining. Try it at different hours and different lighting conditions and see what you think.

What is good about masturbating? Why can't we just have wet dreams? (age 15)

Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. It is good and good for you. It brings about a whole palette of health benefits. It especially flushes out your sex organs and keeps them in healthy, functioning condition and keeps your semen fresh and healthy for fertilization.

Wet dreams are not sufficient because any male who has been masturbating for more than a few weeks and has reached a typical teenage daily frequency has probably put a stop to his wet dreams forever. Typically, males who masturbate only two or three times a week can still have occasional wet dreams but males who masturbate four or more times a week never have another one.

Also, even if a male has wet dreams, he typically doesn't have them as often as doctors recommend as the ejaculation frequency that is optimal for sexual health. (A male who only has wet dreams might have only three or four a month, whereas ejaculating about once a day is optimal for maintaining prostate health.)

I often masturbate but don't finish ON PURPOSE. I get to the point where if I go for another 10 seconds, I will ejaculate. Is this bad? Am I damaging anything? (age 17)

It's better if you don't do that. By stopping short of orgasm, you are training your body to not respond sexually. There is no reason to do that.

I met a boy, 15 as well, on the Internet. He lives in London. He doesn't know where in the U.S. I live. We have traded selfies. I'm bisexual, and he's gay. He's really cute, and we both openly masturbate together. I know it is illegal to trade nudes underage, but it is very tempting. Do you think our current discourse is the best way to handle the situation? We are seriously attracted to each other. (age 15)

Be careful. You don't know for sure he's 15 in London and not older and around the corner from you. Don't give out identifying information. Try to meet others your own age who live near you and don't pin all your hopes on this boy you might never meet.

Though I masturbate about every two days and have been for a year, I still get a feeling of shame or guilt at times. Could it be related to the fact that I'm going to remain a virgin until I'm 27? (age 17)

It's normal to occasionally have those feelings. If no one ever felt guilty about masturbating, people might not be inclined to seek sex with partners, and the species would die off. How do you know you're going to be a virgin for 10 more years? Maybe you'll meet someone tomorrow who wants to have sex with you right away!

Is it healthy to masturbate daily? (age 21)

Yes. Most men your age do. See here to learn the health benefits of frequent masturbation.

I've been masturbating for a while now and haven't ejaculated so far. Is there a way to know if I'm old enough? (age 13)

Yes. When your pubic and body hair starts to grow in, you will probably be ejaculating within a month or so. Try to enjoy the dry orgasms you're having now. Once you start ejaculating, you'll never have them again.

I masturbate doing pull-ups with a horizontal pole. During this, my abs go up and after a few tries, I reach an orgasm. Is this prone masturbation? (age 13)

That isn't prone masturbation, but it's very unusual.

I'm worried that the doctor is going to ask me if I masturbate. Will he do that? (age 15)

Unless you have a problem that specifically concerns your genitals, he probably won't. But he knows that nearly all boys your age masturbate frequently, so even if he doesn't ask, he can guess correctly. Don't be embarrassed to tell the doctor that you masturbate. He masturbates too.

I am relatively new to masturbation and I found some Vaseline which I read is safe as lube but I'm unsure how to use it. Do I put it on the outside or inside of my foreskin or on my hands, and what amount should I use? (age 13)

Put it on your hand. Vaseline is pretty goopy. Try to use as little as possible. Most guys prefer a water-based lube, which you can buy for less than $1 a tube.

Does masturbation makes hair rough? I am always afraid of hair loss and balding. (age 15)

Dude. Every male over puberty has a history of masturbating. Look at any man you see. Perfect hair, gray hair, rough hair, bald, receding hairline, they've all masturbated a lot in their lives. Masturbating didn't cause them to have either nice hair or what you call rough hair.

How can I ask a question and will it be private? (age 35)

The most popular pages on have contact forms at the bottom of the page, or there is a main contact page for the site. I never include identifying information, especially if I don't have it. On rare occasions when the question is very specific and private, I omit the question and head my reply with something of the form "CONFIDENTIAL TO 16-year-old female:"

I have a surgically acquired brain injury and am also a survivor of sexual abuse from a young age. I am intensely hypersexual and if I'm not masturbating, I frequently think about sex during the day. I am married with a son and so I can't always masturbate as much as I would like. When I am by myself, I masturbate at least once a day. Even when my family is home, I touch myself, even if not actually masturbating, just for the pleasure of it. Is this still normal at my age?

My wife is completely on side about my masturbation and even watches me do it from time to time.

I want my son who is 13 to know that it's perfectly OK to masturbate, but do I even need to tell him? If so, how do I bring it up? (age 47)

Masturbating once a day, even when having regular intercourse, is not so much. I doubt that needs to be regarded as a problem. If you're uncomfortable talking to your son, why not have him read my Young Man's Guide to Masturbation or print it as a PDF.

I discovered masturbating shortly before I turned 18. However, my religion forbids masturbating and I would like to stop for that reason. I have tried a few times, but a few days later I find myself being aroused and I just do it. Is it impossible to stop? If not, are there any tips you can give me to help me stop? I know it's a little weird asking you, a proponent of masturbating, for advice on how to stop, but I don't have anyone else I can ask. (age 20)

I don't think you ever will, and I doubt that many adherents of your religion don't masturbate. I suggest reading my page about quitting masturbation for ideas.

How do I stop watching porn? I think I can, but I just don't know how. I really don't want to have to see a psychologist nor do I want to continue to be attracted to porn. I don't want to get addicted. (age 12)

You are pretty young to be worried about getting addicted to porn. For now, why don't you avoid any use of images. Take note of people you see around you every day and use your imagination instead of pictures.

My name is Justin and I masturbate about two to three times a week. I want to know if that's OK. I sometimes want to masturbate twice in a day. Is this normal and are there any effects of doing it twice in the same day? (age 17)

Hi Justin. Your frequency is low. Most males your age masturbate 6-10 times a week, which means that they quite often have a second session in one day. It is good for them, as it will be for you too. Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health. Please see my page about the health benefits of frequent masturbation.


This page updated December 3, 2018.

Dear readers: I am getting short of stories to put on the caught masturbating page. Why not go over there and share your stories or things you've done to keep from getting caught.

Older questions from males


It will be a while before there is a long survey for males. In the meantime, I have posted some quick surveys (no more than 4-5 questions) and these will be changed every few days. Click the link on the male survey page and come back frequently to take new quick surveys.

New quick survey questions for males!

Attention guys!

Do you like to take surveys? While we decide if there will be a new long form survey, we will be posting some quick and fun questions. A new male survey is online and new questions will be posted every few days, so come back repeatedly. Won't you please help us out by answering them? They are completely anonymous. Click here to take this fun and interesting survey. These are different from our earlier, longer surveys.

If the question you asked isn't answered here, it might be on the Page of questions and comments about prone masturbation

Many older questions have been moved to one of these topic pages:

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Do you have a question about masturbation?

You may contact the author via e-mail or if you wish to be anonymous, enter your questions and comments in the box below. Your question may be answered on the male or female or Prone pages. It's a good idea to read the topic pages to see if your question has already been answered. The author rarely answers questions about penis size. is not designed to provide medical advice and does not provide medical advice. All material is for information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional or medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment. Please review the information contained on carefully and confer with your doctor, psychologist, or other health care professional as needed. Copyright © 2002-2018 by