HealthyStrokes.com
... a site about masturbation and you!

Comments from readers of this site

If www.cruel.com hadn't featured your site, I would've never learned about this condition. Now that I know about it, I, as a health professional, can warn others of the inherent dangers of TMS as others read your site, thanks to cruel heritage, they can prevent damage and warn others as well.

Sharon Wyser

2/21/02


I was so happy to discover your web site on Cruel Site of the Day. I've known I've had sexual problems and sought help from psychiatrists, psychologists and sex therapist for many years. None have been able to help me and based upon reading your web site I am sure my problem has been misdiagnosed. When I first discovered masturbation at age twelve I had no idea what I was experiencing and had never even heard the word. I think it was another year before I learned the word masturbation and discovered there was a word for what I was doing. I wish I had also learned that I was doing it wrong. Unfortunately I was one of those small percentage of people who taught themselves to masturbate while lying on my stomach in bed. ... As soon as I read your web site I became very excited that maybe there was hope for me.

2/21/02


Thanks Doug!

OK, I'm not the only one then. I'm 26 years old and I asked the doc for Viagra, which does help by the way. I think i'm going to let my girlfriend read this page so she can stop wondering why she can't keep me hard. LOL

2/22/02


I'm a horny young 16 year old, and I just realized what I was doing was wrong. It never really occured to me.

2/25/02


I've now been working to cure myself for the past couple of months, and I think I'm really getting the hang of it. I'm able to masturbate using only my hands with about an 80% success rate. The only drawback of this is that it's not as easy to fall asleep right after an orgasm. Also, my sex drive seems a bit diminished, but that may be something along the lines of "account cancelled due to inactivity." Anyway, I'm making progress. I still haven't managed to give up TMS style masturbation completely, but I'm getting there. Thanks for the site!

5/10/02


This is a great website you have here. I knew I was reading some honest person's work. You opened my eyes. I do disagree with some of your assertions (like 8 times a week is normal) but I wholeheartedly agree that we need to focus on getting cured of TMS...

7/13/02


Thank you for building your website. I would not have known of this malady if it had not been for the September 2002 Playboy.

I started masturbating when I was 11 and I had always done it in the prone position so if I got caught I could just stop moving and pretend to be sleeping. I am 24 now and I have had a few sexual partners. They were generally amazed at how long I could go, but I think this has a lot to do with having TMS. I also generally don't feel anything when I wear a condom and to my girlfriends' disappointment, oral sex has no effect on me whatsoever. I like being able to hump for long periods of time, but if I stop masturbating in the prone, I fear that my sexual endurance may diminish.

Thank you for your time and all of the wonderful information on your site.

7/27/02


I just wanted to share my recent success with the group...

I'm 28 years old and have been using TMS since I was 13. After several failed attempts, I was able to masturbate the "normal" way. I have been able to repeat this success and I feel like I'm on my way... :)

It really was all about being patient (it takes longer than TMS). But it feels just as good. In some ways, I feel like I'm 13 again and am just discovering my body.

Thanks for the site and info.

7/29/02


Hi, my name is ***. I was reading the advisor page in Playboy magazine (Sep 02), it mentioned TMS. I first learned to masturbate in this way. When I was 12 (I am 26 now), I started getting interested in girls and soon after started having wet dreams. I didn't know anything about masturbation at the time and I wasn't having any luck with girls either. I was very uncomfortable and decided if I found something similar my dick wouldn't know the difference. I tried a wash cloth with warm water thinking that might be something like sex, but it didn't work. One day I was just lying in bed naked thinking about how bad I wanted to get some. I started to act out the fantasy. I didn't think I would get off until a couple minutes later when I started getting a weird feeling. Then a couple minutes after that I got off.

I went through a pillow phase for a while but for the most part, the first three years or so I only rubbed it on the bed. I was able to sit up and use a pillow if I put a lot of pressure on it, but after I stopped doing that for a while I was not able to do it again. A little before I turned 16, I used a hand method in addition to the TMS method. I had to do it hard fast and for a long time to get it to work though. I am circumcised so the foreskin only covers the base of the head, but I would pull it back a little to expose that part. I started having sex at age 16. Over the almost 10 years I become less and less able to cum with a partner. Around 18 stopped using the hand technique I mentioned earlier because it sometimes gave me abrasions on my penis. I started using another method which was to move the outer skin of the penis back and forth. Even though this only touched the bottom part of the head, it started working after a couple tries. If I try the old hand method, even though it feels good I can't get off that way hardly at all. I currently use the second hand method and of course the TMS method. The TMS method has always worked the best. To use my current hand method I have to cross my legs and press my thighs together which helps me stay hard. It is time consuming much of the time. It looks like TMS is the cause of these problems.

I am going to stop using the TMS method and try using only my hand method and normal sexual intercourse with my future wife. I am going to see if I can get off using less speed and pressure. From my description do you know if my current technique might be a problem? A: Yes, it is. Should I just decrease the speed and pressure and then relax my legs, or should use a loose fist rather then moving the skin back and forth? A: Use a loose fist. Then you're stimulating the whole penis and not just the head or the base.

One other thing I wanted to ask. I have heard rumor that women who masturbate on their stomachs have problems because of it. Is that true? My fiancée lies on her stomach with either panties on, or if she is naked she uses a sheet. She pushes her hands against the outside of the labia majora while grinding against her hands. She stimulates her clit indirectly but she puts a lot of pressure on it. She has used my hand in place of the sheet and it felt like quite a bit of pressure. About 95% of the time she can only get off in the prone position. She finds direct clit stimulation to be to much after a couple minutes and any other form of indirect doesn't do it for her. She gets off in 2 or 3 minutes using the her normal method. If I put a finger at the opening of her vagina while she masturbates in her usual way, she gets off in about 30 seconds. The orgasm ends up being longer than the build up! So are her problems in other areas or is her masturbation technique to blame? Is there a way for her to change as well? A: The question of TMS for women is as yet unexplored. I've had questions about it, but yours is the first case study. Of course, the problem with TMS for males is that men have the burden of sexual performance. If a woman is unable to orgasm during sex because of eccentric masturbation or whatever, it doesn't mean that intercourse can't happen. Still, I would suggest your fiancée try to learn normal masturbation too.

Thanks for putting all this information out there. Let me know if using only my secondary technique is ok or if I need to alter it a little, and also if my fiancée needs to change her method as well. You can put my case up on your page if you want, just blank the name out. Thanks again.

7/30/02


I've quit TMS and I want to know how to ejaculate more semen. It doesn't shoot very far and I'd like to shoot my semen onto my chest like I've heard other guys say they can.

A: Don't worry about that. It probably shoots farther than you think it does. Try not to watch it come out. You've never watched it when you were doing it prone, were you? Of course not! TMS guys don't get to watch themselves ejaculate. Now that you can watch, it's making you self-conscious. Just concentrate on having successful orgasms, and they'll become more copious before you know it. Pretty soon you'll be cleaning it off your chest, chin, etc.


I heard about this site in the September 02 Playboy, though they, unfortunately, did not give a URL.

Thank you for producing such a great informative, unbiased, unabashed site. It fills a void of information on this subject. It clears up a lot of things I was coming to conclusions about on my own. Now I feel I have enough information to understand the problem and inform others.

It is probably difficult to post Dr. Sank's entire article, due to copyright, but that would be great.

8/10/02


I read about TMS in Playboy. Aren't there some obvious advantages with this method? Sounds like someone could do a great deal of foreplay, followed by long sessions of intercourse. If you know what you're doing otherwise, you could really satisfy a woman. I'm not trying to make light of this. I guess I don't see the point in trying to completely cure TMS. Most guys have to mentally train themselves to hold back. I would think the best solution here is to mentally train yourself to reach climax after a certain point. Come up with an intense sexual fantasy and use that imagery before your partner thinks she's doing something wrong. Again, not trying to make light of the subject, but I could see TMS covered in Maxim under the heading, "How to be a better lover." (Please withhold my name. Great job with the site. Interesting material, to say the least.)

8/10/02

The author responds: Interesting to finally hear from someone who isn't a sufferer. There is no advantage in not being able to reach orgasm. And those "long sessions of intercourse" generally end in disaster when the man runs out of energy and loses his erection. Then no one gets satisfied. Your thesis is that TMS could be a tool in the bag of a sophisticated philanderer. But the whole point of this site is that TMS keeps one from ever becoming a sophisticated philanderer.


Please please let professionals know about this, and educate them so a cure can be found. I can't have a relationship this way, I'm too ashamed!

9/3/02


After several attempts at stopping TMS, I waited about seven days and tried again. I was patient and was finally able to masturbate normally. Since then, I have not gone back to TMS (it's been about 1 1/2 months).

9/3/02


I would like to urge all youth not to masturbate in the prone fashion. You may think it doesn't have consequences, but it does. I never thought it was a problem until I started noticing that I don't get erections anymore, except when thrusting against my bed; and I'm not even 18 years old. So please, take my advice and masturbate normally.

9/3/02


This is how I became cured, sort of. I didn't want my partner to know I was masturbating, so I would masturbate in bathroom or other places where I couldn't lie down. On occasion I still masturbate face down as I find it the most pleasureable.

9/4/02


I don't use anything to maturbate like lubrication. I just rub my fist against myself. I thrust against my fist. My knuckles have a callus now which is so embarrasing when people ask me what happened to my fist. I tell them I scraped my hand when I fell off my bike.

9/5/02


I am now middle-aged with children, including a son who I will make sure understands not to abuse masturbation but treat it as a natural act to respect. I had difficulty ejaculating for many years, from the first time I had sexual intercourse in my late teens, until my 4th partner was patient enough to work with me through the problem (it took a lot of patience and a lot of attempts). I'm sure that abusive and somewhat compulsive (frequent) masturbation was at least part of the problem. In particular I recall a night before I had a intercourse with a second partner and in which I had no ejaculation (and eventually lost my erection, which was typical) and that preceding night involved masturbation that I recall fits the pattern you describe as TMS. Good luck to all, and thanks for having this website, which I hope helps others.

9/5/02


Doug, Your website is a real eye-opener! I read about it in Playboy magazine. I don't do TMS but I have to masturbate (using my hand) with pressure behind my scrotum like from straddling the corner of a kitchen counter (perfect height). Sometimes I can come just with a hand but it is very difficult, especially if the hand belongs to someone else. A vagina, forget about it. Too loose and sloppy feeling. It all started when I was 7-8 years old and I started having orgasms (although I didn't know what they were at the time) by hanging from the bars of a swingset and rubbing my thighs up and down against the vertical bar. I stopped doing this around 9-10 then started doing again around 14-15, then started combining it with my hand around 17. I'm 42 now.

My success with women has been dismal, and I am very depressed about it. It's embarrasing to do this in front of them but sometimes I have to in order to come. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle my dilemma?

Although technically your problem isn't TMS, it might be worth trying my abstinence and normal masturbation program to get yourself to stop what you're doing and become accustomed to normal masturbation. Once you've beaten that (no pun intended), I think you'll be able to get used to vaginal sex.

You also allude to another problem of older male virgins, floppy vagina syndrome. (A feeling that a woman's vagina is "too big"; of course, it will never provide the perfect stimulation you can give yourself.) This was described by Eva Margulies in her book "Undressing the American Male." I suggest reading that book. Good luck.

9/6/02


Here's how I cured myself of TMS. I began to lay on my back and to stroke the head of my penis from the top with my fingers "caging" around the head with an up & down as well as twisting motion.

I believe TMS ruined my marriage. Where does a 50 year old man now find an understanding partner to help him grow in his new journey to experience intercourse in a "normal way"???

A: I suggest phasing out the twisting motion, since what you describe is another idiosyncratic method of masturbating. Try to do it the way 90 percent of men do it. Finding an understanding partner might be easier than you think. At 50, it's a buyer's market for men looking for women. Most women would be glad to help with a sexual problem.

9/7/02


My girlfriend was ready to leave me because my libido with her was non-existent and she thought it was because of her, I had to fess up. I did not really think it was a problem until I came upon your website. Thanks for putting this info out there, without it I would have never thought I had a problem.

9/8/02


I think information such as this should be given a lot of publicity. Male masturbation should be encouraged.

9/14/02


Although I don't have TMS, I sometimes experience delayed orgasm - probably due to desensitivity from frequent masturbation/intercourse. [Respondent claims to have sex 21 times a week and to masturbate 7 times a week. - Ed.] On a few occasions it has taken up to six hours with a sustained erection to climax during intercourse, and sometimes oral sex doesn't give me an orgasm. I've discovered that abstaining for a day or two from masturbation and intercourse helps increase my sensitivity - and shortening the time it takes for me to climax to about 45 minutes during intercourse, or as little as 5 minutes during masturbation.

9/15/02


I use a slightly different method, a deep "massage" of the penis with my fingers, rather like drumming fingers on a desktop. I have to be careful to release the pressure during ejaculation to allow the semen to escape, else it will back up painfully.

9/28/02


I am a 16 YO male who has masturbated against the floor about 1000 times since I was 14. I did try to give up masturbating so I could learn the non-TMS way but I couldn't get an orgasm; my penis just became sore with all the rubbing. Ed.: Keep trying! You'll be glad when you succeed.

9/29/02


I began masturbating face down. I did so throughout my teenage years. For some reason I had the desire to be able do it with my hand. I tried many times without success. Then when I was 21, I finally succeeded in coming by hand. Wow, was I in ecstacy! Sinde then I've given myself thousands of hand jobs with only the occasional face down. I find both to be incredibly fun.

10/06/02


Q: I'd like more info on how my girlfriend can help me masturbate normally. You say to learn alone but it's tough to abstain from sex with a new girlfriend. How about if I teach her to masturbate me in the correct way?

A: Teaching her to perform manual intercourse on you does nothing to teach you the right way to masturbate. The way men become cured is to do it themselves. We've heard from several who have tried to become cured through intercourse but so far no one has been successful. You might explain it to your new girlfriend so maybe she'll be understanding about a hiatus from intercourse.

10/06/02


I came accross this website and decided to see if I could change so I stoped masturbating in the prone position for about five days and then tried regular masturbation. I was able to ejaculate with some thrusting into my hand while lying on my back. Eventually, after several weeks, and changing locations in my house, I was able to ejaculate with regular masturbation without thrusting at all with pornography videos or without!

10/12/02


Is this a real medical condition? If so, how come I have never heard of it, and cannot find any medical research on the subject besides the information that you have provided?

A: Yes, it is real. You have never heard of it because you are not a subscriber to the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, which until recently was the only written resource. Playboy magazine mentioned it in its September 2002 issue. You might try to find Dr. Sank's original article in the JS&MT. Eva Margulies also alluded to the problem in her book Undressing the American Male, although she did not document the problem as a specific cause of male sexual dysfunction.

11/14/02


Everything you say about TMS is absolutely true. Until I read about it, I thought I was destined to lead a life of sexual failure.

It all makes perfect sense now and I haven't masturbated prone since.

Thanks for the informative website. I am on the road to conquering this problem at age 50. Wow, the years and experiences I have lost. It's too depressing to even think about.

11/28/02


Let me state the cliche. "I always thought I was the only one." I really never knew anyone else could relate to this. I've told this to three analysts over the years who never had much of a reaction and certainly didnt know this was a "condition." I'm in my 40's. I went through a textbook experience of TMS. I cured it by witholding orgasms from myself for an entire year. In fact it was from July 31st to July 31st in my teens, until I could masturbate in the ordinary way. Apparently, I was years ahead of this article ... and the good news is ... IT WORKED. I will say that it will probably always be easier and more sensational in the prone position, but I have tended to avoid that mode over the last 25 years with some exceptions. I will say that I have never enjoyed oral sex and found it almost impossible to come from oral sex. I always thought that was odd since most men go nuts over that thought. After reading your article, it makes sense that I'm probably not getting the stimulation I need. I wonder if I could ever get to the point of going nuts over that as well (no pun intended).

2/24/03


Q: I am a TMS person. I always do it on the bed, and i can also have it in the bathroom with my hands. Tell me how to control my TMS and I always do it on the bed 3 or 4 times.

A: You need to quit TMS. Try the abstinence program I recommend on my TMS page. Doing it three or four times is too much. Once you switch to normal masturbation, just do it once a day until you get used to it.

3/20/03


I was shocked when I first read your site. I had no idea that how I was masturbating was incorrect, and could lead to future problems. I successfully achieved orgasm in the traditional method one week later. I would just like to thank Doug for spreading awareness of this problem that for 15 years I didn't even know I had. If I can be cured after so long, anyone can!

3/24/03


I masturbate by putting on a condom. Then I get on my hands and knees and rub my penis against a pile of pillows. It is very light touch. I orgasm in 10-15 minutes. It is very excellent orgasm. I have been doing this for 6 years and my sex life with my spouse is as good or better than when I started this. I masturbate anywhere from 2-3 times a week or longer. I have not encounter a problem. You still suggest I stop?

Yes, I do. Lots of guys don't develop problems from TMS until more than six years have passed since they started. Your sexual response is apt to decline with age, and when that happens, you don't want to have to compensate for it and damage from TMS too.

3/25/03


I just read your site and am so glad I found out that this is actually a problem. As of tonight I am stopping TMS. I've always had trouble cumming from oral sex and couldnt figure out why. I'm 20 and have been doing TMS since I was probably 13 or 14. My question is that I'm nervous that I won't regain full sensitivity and all that stuff. Is there a chance that that is true and if not how long after stopping TMS does it take to regain full sensitivity?

Ed.: Congratulations on deciding to quit TMS! Don't worry about sensitivity. You'll notice a difference within two weeks of learning to masturbate normally. I don't know how long it takes to be fully sensitive, but most guys your age feel great in about a month. (See the case studies linked from the main page.)


If you have practiced TMS for the majority of your life and at the same time have trouble keeping an erection for intercourse is it possible to correct this problem through staying away from masturbation TMS style? Does the body heal itself? I would imagine it takes several months for the body to heal. Have you heard of people overcoming their erectile difficulties from TMS? Once they unlearn TMS does the duration of erections improve?

Yes. The main messages I try to get through on my main page are that TMS is bad and that abstaining from TMS will bring a cure. Most TMS sufferers have trouble completing intercourse. See the results of our survey for more information. I'm not sure if the body heals as much as it gets used to the typical means of masturbatory stimulation. You might read the cure stories linked from the main page for a better idea of how long it takes people to become cured. Yes, people who get past TMS become better at intercourse. That much we do know. Good luck.

3/29/03


I read your Internet article on TMS. And I gotta tell ya, you hit the nail on the head. It answered questions about problems I had in the past, often times quite embarrassing. I didn't even know that there was a name for it. I masturbated in the prone position until I was about 26. And then one day I tried it sitting on the couch, and it was hard to do the first few times, but after a little practice, I started having the best orgasms of my life, and my sex life improved substantially. It really sucks when you work so hard to get a cute girl to go home with you, and when she finally does you can't keep it up. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that your article on TMS is 100% correct. And thank you for putting my mind at ease. Even though I unknowingly cured myself, it's good to know that I wasn't some kind of weirdo.

4/1/03


None of this matches my experience. I spontaneously learned the referenced method when I was 6, and it's been my favored method ever since. Sometimes I use other methods like the one you call "normal," even for months at a time, but usually just on the spur of the moment for variety's sake. I've had long-term monagamous relationships with both women and men, and the sexual aspect of those was always satisfying. The notion of any problems such as you describe never entered my mind. I'm currently in such a relationship. Frequency of sex is highly variable, from zero to five times a week (considerably more if we're both on vacation). I usually masturbate enough that my weekly orgasm total is around 7 times a week, and most often I use the face down prone method that I've used for five and a half decades. (But I'm not "married" to it :-) Frankly I'm surprised to read the many claims of people who seem to have the problems described. Are we sure this isn't just another snake oil deal?

A: Do you see snake oil or anything else for sale here? You are lucky that you're able to practice TMS in addition to other forms of stimulation. Most guys aren't so lucky. If you read the survey results on this site, you'll find TMS keeps most men from doing anything else sexually.

4/20/03


Hey, I'm a 17 year old who has been practicing TMS for 5 years, probably averaging once a day. It's sad, I know, and I'm glad to have read your site in an effort to cease this behavior. I have noticed a problem with my erection, like a slight kink near the base. I thought it was nothing, but after reading the site, I'm now worried. My question is though, even after this length of time, can I be cured? Will ceasing TMS now fix my problem? Or has my 5 years of damage done me in? Please let me know.

A: Be glad you discovered the problem early. Many guys don't find out until they're in their 30s or older. Young guys seem to have the best chance of a quick recovery. I think quitting TMS will restore your erectile function. Might mention it to the doctor on your next visit. Good luck and keep us posted.

4/20/03


This is somewhat long, but please do me a favor and try to get through it -- I've never discussed this with anyone else, and my sexual life is in serious trouble. If you can help me even somewhat, I'd be extremely appreciative and as a result, I have to impose. Thank you very much in advance.

As far back as I can remember, up until about age 15, I masturbated by lying on my stomach, balling one hand into a fist, wrapping the other hand around the fist, placing it directly under my penis and rhythmicly "humping" it, to put it crudely. This always resulted in some sort of pleasure, even at a young age, and of course eventually turned into a real orgasm around the time of puberty and beyond. Sooner or later I caught on to the fact that other guys masturbated differently, with the typical stroking method, and I began to investigate why my method was so different and how I could change it. What I found, unfortunately, was that I can literally feel *zero* sexual sensation when I stroke my penis with a loose fist. To put it in a way that others can understand, it's exactly the same as if I were to try masturbating my wrist or ankle-- I can feel the hand on the skin, it just has no sexual component whatsoever to the sensation. For a few years up until I was 15, I just thought I was incapable.

Then, one day in the shower I realized I could in fact successfully masturbate to orgasm the traditional way if I used shampoo is a lubricant. It's so thick that it somehow translates to a palpable sexual sensation. I did this frequently for probably 6 months, until the downside of using shampoo became too much. I learned around this time, fortunately, that saliva is almost as effective, and after a while of "stepping down" from shampoo to this new lube, I was able to do this just as easily and with equally satisfying orgasms. This method has lasted me until this day, and I am now 21. I still can't masturbate with a dry hand at all, but once sufficient amounts of saliva are involved, the problem goes away entirely.

I had my first major sexual experience at around age 19 or 20. I received oral sex from a girl I knew, which I assumed would be great since I always found myself more turned on by the idea of oral stimulation than anything else, but much to my dismay, had the exact same reaction as I did with dry masturbating -- I could feel her mouth, but not in a sexual way whatsoever. Handjobs, oral sex and really any other sort of foreplay followed this pattern -- it was thrilling to be doing them for real, but once the novelty wore off, I had to face the fact that they were in no way pleasurable. We eventually got oral sex to "work" with enough pressure and patience, but even then it wasn't particularly satisfying, and I find that the head of my penis becomes *extremely* sensitive at the time of orgasm (and not in a good or pleasurable way), and the mouth being directly on and around it during ejaculation is actually rather uncomfortable.

Even with saliva or other lubricant, the girl could not bring me to orgasm with her hand. It was then that I learned that not only do I need a certain amount of liquid lubricant to orgasm, but there is also a very specific technique to what I thought had finally become a "normal" masturbation technique. Apparently I'm still doing it rather differently. You see, while I do indeed stroke up and down like normal guys, I seem to apply more pressure than most, especially near the head. I also have a very specific "rhythm", wherein I stroke at a constant speed up and down, but pause for a brief moment at the top, squeezing a bit more tightly, loosely stroking down, then stroking back up more tightly. It's fine for me, since I can do it without thinking about it, but I can't seem to teach it to others.

I now have a committed relationship with a girlfriend (a different girl), and have the same trouble. She cannot stimulate me whatsoever with her hand, and her mouth is equally ineffective. She's told me about her previous boyfriends, and it frustrates me greatly that she could bring them to orgasm simply by loosely stroking their penises with her fist, while it has absolutely no sexual affect on me. The same goes for her mouth -- she could cause them to ejaculate with normal, light sucking, while it's in no way effective on me. The only time we've had any success with oral sex was when I'd masturbate to nearly the point of orgasm, then let her finish me off. I've only found these experiences to be extremely uncomfortable, however, as there isn't nearly enough pressure around my penis during the orgasm and, as I mentioned, the head becomes extremely sensitive in a less-than-comfy way.

I have found, however, that sexual intercourse is rather successful. With the exception of my first time, which was about 2 months ago, I've had decent orgasms every time since. I find it most easy to come when I'm on top, but it's still perfectly possible when she's on top. Unfortunately, foreplay is still absolutely off limits to me, and I'd really like to change that. There are many times when full-on sex is just not practical, but some sort of intimacy and orgasm is still desired. I'd like her to be able to easily bring me to orgasm with manual or oral stimulation, like her previous partners have been able to. I know comparing myself to others will only end up compoudning the psychological issue, but I don't think it's asking too much-- just for what every other guy seems to have.

So to wrap things up, I masturbated in true TMS style for probably about 10 years (estimating around age 5 or 6 to around 14 or 15). I then began masturbating in what I thought was a normal style, but seems to still be rather traumatic-- even though it more or less looks normal, the pressure, rhythym and the fact that lubrication is *required* all suggest that I'm still way off track. All I want is to masturbate normally and be able to fully enjoy foreplay with my girlfriend. I've already begun a sexual abstinence that will hopefully be my first step, but is there any hope for me? I really want to get off the lube entirely and learn to use less pressure and not rely on a specific speed/rhythym/method to acheive orgasm.

Thanks for drudging through this story, and thanks very much in advance if you can help!

A: You're not as bad off as a lot of people. Stick with the abstinence. That means no sex with your partner as well as no masturbation. It's important that you teach your penis to give you orgasms from normal stimulation. There's nothing wrong with using lube to masturbate. You might try one specifically made for masturbation, like K-Y Liquid. After abstaining for 7-10 days (I think you might need more time than the typical sufferer), try stroking the normal way without your idiosyncratic stimulation of the head in mid-stroke.

Once you've learned to masturbate normally, I think you'll gradually become more sensitized to other forms of sexual stimulation. So tell your girlfriend no sex for at least a month.


I have masturbated for as long as I can remember and at about 7 or 8 I did the TMS thing and I noticed it hurt a little so I stopped and now I know it was bad and I feel proud! I never knew masturbation was necessary. Your website helped me feel better about masturbation. Thank you! (age 13)

4/21/03


I abstained from masturbation for 7 days and then tried doing it manually but kept losing my erection hence couldn't orgasm. If I gave up masturbation altogether will I be o.k? What should I do?

A: You don't say how old you are, but if you're over 30, you might ask your doctor for Viagra. Viagra will take care of the erection while you learn normal masturbation. You can still be cured without it. Try to be relaxed when you try it manually. That's the most important thing. Focus on the most erotic things you can, not on how your erection feels.

4/30/03


I have been practicing TMS for 4 years now and still a virgin, and I wonder if I would be cured if I gave up masturbation altogether? e.g if I gave up for 2 weeks or so and then tried to have sex will I be ok?

A: We have never heard of anyone being cured of TMS through intercourse. It seems unlikely your first intercourse would be successful in the circumstances you describe. The goal for TMS practitioners is to learn to masturbate normally and then to adjust to intercourse.

4/30/03


My boyfriend masturbates this way, but he uses a bag with lube and he supports himself with his hands so he puts no pressure on his penis. Is that still okay or will he develop problems?

A: TMS is always bad for sexuality. Your boyfriend compounds his problem by using an object -- a bag -- instead of his hands. I can't explain why, but males who masturbate the normal way have the least trouble adjusting to intercourse. It doesn't matter how logical it seems that TMS is physically similar to intercourse. It doesn't work that way in practice.

4/30/03


I masturbated TMS-style for about 5 years (I'm 18), and I have recently been able to masturbate normally, with the suggestions on this website. Unfortunately, I still am having a few problems. I find that I am having trouble getting a complete erection. Is this normal during recovery from TMS? I have been 'normal' for about 2 weeks, but I still find myself having orgasms with only a partial (probably about 75% erect) erection. How can I cure this? I have no problem becoming erect while clothed and around my girlfriend, but I can't stimulate myself fully.

A: Congratulations on getting cured with help from my site! Yes, it will take more than two weeks for your erections to fully recover from five years of TMS. It sounds like you're making good progress. Keep up what you're doing.

5/5/03


Your article does not make it clear to me how older men reverse the mental and physical effects of TMS. Since about 10 years ago, erections are infrequent, minimal, and short lived. I have some residual effects ferom nerve damage as well. Can you help? (age 58)

A: Most of the cases we have seen in our group and in communications to this site are younger men. It seems to take older men longer to be cured, but I believe they are curable. You might join the TMS support group on Yahoo! where fellow sufferers can help you through the stages of being cured. I'd also appreciate it if you could share the story of your cure with the readers of this site so future older sufferers can have a role model.

5/8/03


If I stop, will I be completely cured?

It looks that way. The guys who were cured (you can read their stories on this site) did nothing more than stop masturbating prone and learn to masturbate normally. They found themselves gradually (or in some cases suddenly) becoming sexually functional.

5/9/03


I am quite conviced that the information on this page on the problems involved in TMS are strongly exaggerated. I have masturbated for 40 years, and have phimosis but it has never hampered my sex life. I can achieve orgasm both by stroking and thrusting into pillows, but the orgasm with pillows is stronger. I believe phimosis is actually mother nature's way to protect the sensitive glans while rubbing, because even soft objects are not as smooth and slippery as human genitals. I once had a long-lasting sexual relationship, during which I rarely used pillows and my phimosis disappeared, and achieving orgasm through vaginal or anal sex was never a problem. Now I am single and back into pillows and phimosis, but I still find my sex life very satisfactory.

I also read an article by the French physician Beauge, where he recommends the conventional stroking method as a primary treatment for phimosis and also reports some cases where the method has worked even within a few weeks. So, is there really any reason why I should be concerned about my phimosis? I have tried Beauge's method, but I am actually not sure if I should, because I am a bit worried that a loose foreskin might reduce the intense pleasure I get from my pillow sex? (age 43)

A: I don't know why you're taking issue with me, since your statement is that your phimosis disappeared when you quit TMS. Any medical condition ending in "osis" is one you need to be concerned about. I don't think most people would describe a sex life consisting exclusively of pillows as "very satisfactory." You need to quit the TMS and find a partner.

Follow up: At the present situation with soaring divorce rates and all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases, why should I get a partner? Love is beautiful, but a divorce is very traumatic. Can you mention any reason that is based on medicine or science and not just puritan morality?

A: Ah, but you didn't ask a doctor or a scientist. You asked me. My opinion is what you get.

The reason why I brought up the subject was that I wanted to know if a looser foreskin would decrease or increase my pillow pleasure. After reading the texts on this site I think I have found the answer: As long as I continue with pillows I should not try to get rid of phimosis because then I would chafe my penis.

A: Two wrongs don't make a right. Lose the pillows and the phimosis and you won't have to worry about penile chafing.

5/10/03


As a boy I regularly masturbated to orgasm with a flaccid penis -- principally because I found it less painful than masturbating the regular way without lube. I actually became skilled at losing my 'unwanted' erections in order to suit my weird masturbation style! I am now generally able to achieve erections when with a partner or when masturbating, but often I lose them quickly, and I frequently worry about losing them. Does masturbating regularly with a flaccid penis bring on a syndrome similar to TMS? Is there any research on regular masturbation while flaccid? (age 29)

It looks like any unconventional masturbation can cause the sexual dysfunction associated with TMS. The cure is the same. You need to refrain from masturbating unless you can do it with an erection. The abstinence regimen I recommend for TMS sufferers ought to help. I don't know of research offhand, but there must be some because impotent men masturbate the regular way while flaccid. And that's a lot of men.

5/14/03


First of all thank you for building this website. I find it most comforting that this is not a problem only experienced by me. I'm 21, and I have been masturbating since I was very young (around 10-11) and have always done this in the TMS way sometimes several times a day. I have noticed my masturbation becoming more usual through the years until the point where I no longer got an erection to masturbate or even ejaculate. I suspected this to be the cause of my difficulties while with my past girlfriends including not being stimulated by oral sex, not being able to hold an erection and not getting a full hard erection during arousal. I have managed to have sex with partners but only when very aroused and without a condom. I recently (ironically) before I found this site decided to stop masturbating in this way as I was fed up of making excuses about my penis, often blaming alcohol and my mood.

After 18 days not masturbating I tried to masturbate the correct way which in the few previous attempts didn’t do much for me, but this time I was determined and after about 10 minutes I managed to ejaculate normally. Feeling this was a major event I searched the Internet for information about masturbation in the prone position. I found your web site which is very helpful. Having also managed to masturbate normally today (the day after the first time) and ejaculate I have been left with a few questions that I would appreciate your help with.

  1. Is it normal to start a masturbatory session with a flaccid penis? I found that I had to pull on my penis for several minutes before I became erect. A: It is rather common, especially in TMS guys. After a few weeks of having quit TMS, you should be getting more and stronger spontaneous erections.
  2. Will my sensitivity return or is it just a case of getting to like the new motion of the hand as a closer simulation of sex? So will I start to feel something arousing about oral sex? A: Yes, your penis will both become more sensitive and you will get used to the new feeling. Oral sex will be more possible in time.
  3. Does this change in masturbation lead to less of a problem with maintaining an erection? A: Yes!
  4. I still have to hold my penis quite firmly to get more feeling out of it. Is this normal? A: For a normal guy, no, but for someone recovering from TMS it is. Try to use less force.

Thanks for your encouraging story! Good luck in your cure.

5/16/03


I'm 21, and I began masturbating in the prone position when I was about eight or so years old. Since then I have gotten into the habit of masturbating every morning before I get out of bed and every evening before I go to sleep. I remember back to my teen years when I would try to climax through normal masturbation but it never happened. I still try it once in a while but no luck. I have no problem getting or maintaining an erection through masturbation, but I can't come. I had my last girlfriend about a year ago and during that relationship I experienced the same problems. She couldn't jerk me off and I could feel almost nothing during oral stimulation. We never got around to sex (I am still a virgin) and I am very afraid that I will experience similar problems.

After learning about this web site (after reading an article in Playboy), I decided to give the method a try. After seven days without masturbation I figured I would have at it. To my dismay it produced no results. that evening and for about the next two months I resumed masturbating the TMS fashion. I got fed up with myself and decided to give your method another try. This time I went for two weeks without masturbation but still couldn't come. Now I've read that not ejaculating after two weeks time or more is harmful. If this is true how do I deal with my problem? Do I just not touch myself for a month and risk damage? Or do I masturbate every two weeks?

Please help, because of my condition I am afraid of women (due to the embarrassment of my condition) and I do not want the "best years of my life" to slip away while I sit here alone.

You need to focus on having an orgasm when you try masturbating in the normal fashion. A week ought to be enough, especially if you're in the habit of masturbating twice daily. Whatever turns you on when you're doing it TMS style, use that. (Pictures, fantasies, etc.) It might also help if you could ask your doctor for Viagra. Just a couple of pills (that they often give as free samples) might be all you need to teach yourself the proper way. And you shouldn't be afraid of women. Many would be delighted to help you with your problem.

5/20/03


I have trouble believing almost any of this. Having masturbated prone for 30+ years with excellent sexual performance skills I find most of this unbelievable and/or hype. (age 45)

You're one of the lucky ones. The majority of guys who practice TMS develop severe sexual problems. This is more than the one-third of smokers who will die from smoking or the one-eighth of women who will get breast cancer. Would you say those are not serious health problems because not all at-risk people get them?

5/21/03


I just would like to thank you for this great information. I'm 23 years old and I've been having lots of problems in my current relationship cause of TMS. Im sure that this will work, so thank you in advance.

Respectfully,

M.G.

5/22/03


I masturbate both ways and I don't have any problems like the ones described here. It doesn't make much sense. (age 15)

A: I don't suppose you've had much sexual experience. When the time comes, you'll be better off if you haven't practiced TMS. Why not give up the face-down masturbation while you're young and then you won't have to worry about it causing dysfunction when you're older.

6/6/03


I've been doing TMS for about four years and I may have developed a penis curvature. Am I in serious trouble?

A: After only four years, I think you could be cured of TMS without much trouble. Why not give that a try first. Most penises aren't perfectly straight. Your curvature might not be a problem at all.

6/6/03


I just found this great page today. I have been masturbating via TMS for 10 years now, since the age of 10. I first felt my orgasm during school recess when I was climbing a high pole and felt that tingly feelings in my genital area. Since then, I have been masturbating on poles and the edge of doors. I cannot masturbate with my hands and my girlfriend has tried giving me a handjob with no success. Is it really possible for me to cure TMS after all these years of TMS? I plan cease my TMS masturbation activities today and wait a week and try with my hands.

A: What you describe is not technically TMS, but I think you can be cured with the abstinence plan on my site. Many sufferers, including me, were a lot older than you when they got cured, and had been practicing TMS longer. You can do it.

6/8/03


Hi - I have just found wour website and I want to congratulate you on it. I am very close to 70 years of age and I cannot now remember when I first masturbated although I do recall when i first masturbated to orgasm and that was at the age of 14 years and 2 months and I remember that I was on holiday staying at an aunties house when it happened. I presume that I had been masturbating before that at say age 13 without ejaculating.

My parents told me nothing about masturbation although I do recall that I was told that I must not 'play with my penis' because it was naughty.

I learned to masturbate myself and I have to say that much of this was done in the 'prone position' and I found that pushing down the penis gave me great stimulation, particularly so in that I got extra stimulation on the glans from friction with the blankets. I masturbated in this manner until I was married at age 26.

Up to now I never knew that it was wrong to use the prone position for masturbation.

6/9/03


am writing because I found your article on TMS to be very enlightening. It has raised some concerns for me, and also alleviated some concerns. Let me briefly address both, hopefully you will have suggestions:

1. I never used the TMS method per se, HOWEVER, my frequency has been approx. twice a day for the last six or so years. I am vigorous, and I never use any lubricating substances. I actually stopped for a while because it created a little sore.

2. My first experience receiving oral pleasure lasted almost an hour, until she finally gave up. The last two experiences were psychological, I think, because I could not maintain an erection during oral sex.

3. During intercourse, I cannot maintain an erection using a condom (wrong size/type condom I hope?). I achieved an erection for over thirty minutes during intercourse with no condom.

O.K., so I'm very concerned! My experience with my last partner was utterly humiliating and has left me a psychological mess! I hope this is a mental thing, not a physical dysfunction.

The one sign of hope for me that came from your article -- while masturbating, you stated that it is a good practice to hold off on bring yourself to orgasm just as orgasm is imminent. Well, this has always been common practice for me. I always that have sessions that last over an hour doing this.

Thank you for writing this very important article; any insight you have regarding my concerns will be greatly appreciated.

A: You say you don't have TMS, but normal masturbation can inhibit sexual response too. It would be a good idea if you could abstain for a few days before your next planned sexual encounter. I don't think it's good to put off orgasm for an hour. What I meant was when you get to the plateau stage (where orgasm is imminent), it's good to put off your orgasm for about a minute and enjoy the plateau stage longer. Many guys are in plateau for a matter of seconds.

6/9/03


I've quit TMS but I still can't orgasm during intercourse. I masturbate (the normal way) quite often.

Besides TMS, you have the problem of getting used to sex with a woman. Lots of TMS sufferers have this problem and lots of guys have problems balancing masturbation and intercourse when they become sexually active.

The abstinence program recommended on this site for TMS will help your problem too, but to be effective in helping you adjust to sexual intercourse, you have to have a partner at the end of your abstinence period. You didn't say in your e-mail if you have a regular partner. I suggest abstaining for a week in advance of having sex with a partner. At least 5 days. Try to focus on the feelings you're having on not how it feels different from masturbation, TMS or otherwise.

Once you've gotten used to having orgasms with a female, you should be able to masturbate again. But as I say on my web site, men with partners masturbate about half as much as men without them. Masturbating too much can interfere with intercourse for any man, not just a TMS sufferer (or former one).


How long does it take for someone to cure themselves of Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome and is it bad to masturbate while your penis is flaccid if trying to cure yourself of TMS?

You can read the cure stories on my site. Some people have been cured right away. Others take months. I'd say 2-4 weeks on average. You want to be erect whenever you masturbate.


Wow. You have no idea how glad I am that I read this page. I have been masturbating prone for almost 4 years and I had no idea it could be dangerous. Right now I'm 16 years old (also a virgin). And I'm glad that I'm young so it won't affect me later on in life. But I do kinda have a weird question. I find it extremely odd how my voice has not changed yet. It's still very high pitched (very girlish). Could the way I've been masturbating for the past 4 years be the reason it hasn't changed? Why else could it not have changed yet? Thank you so much.

A: Glad I can help you get cured of your TMS. Your voice probably has changed since you were a kid but it's so slight you haven't noticed. You might check some web sites about voice therapy if you want to change your voice some more. Masturbation and the way you've done it has nothing to do with it.


I'm 14 years old (almost 15) and have been masturbating TMS style since I was in first or second grade. I first read your site last night and have vowed to follow your advice. Is there a good chance I can be cured and return to normal?

A: Yes, I think your chances of recovery are almost 100%. Guys seems to do better the younger they are they switch from TMS to normal. You're younger now that I was when I started TMS. You'll do fine. Might consider joining the support group and keeping us posted on your progress.

6/13/03


Great page. I don't masturbate face down exclusively, but I recently had a 90 minute session face down and now I'm seriously afraid, because I can't get an erection (3 days since) and I have 0 sex drive. I didn't know this could be so serious. I've waited three full days and I still have no desire to jerk off. I normally am horny like 3 hours after doing it. I'm really worried about my libido. Should I keep abstaining and hope my drive comes back? Or should I try to jerk off with my hands? I'm worried because my penis feels so weak and it is normally strong and shoots hard. (age 21)

A: The important thing is to give up TMS forever. I don't think not feeling like masturbating for three days is a big deal. Maybe you were just so satisfied from your 90 minute session. Try to masturbate tonight whether you're horny or not.


Up to the age of 19 years I practiced TMS. I started before I could even ejaculate. Now I know how wrong I was and have completely given up this method and masturbate the normal way. I get normal erections but my ejaculation is a dribble, which worries me. I am scared whether I will be able to have sex with a woman and whether I will be able to father children. Could this method have caused damage to my reproductive system? (age 21)

A: I doubt it. You just need to practice a technique to make your ejaculate travel farther. Just before ejaculation, squeeze the PC muscle (the one you use to stop the flow of urine) and hold it for a second or two. When you release it, pressure will have built up and your semen will squirt out farther and with more force. Congratulations on quitting TMS successfully.

6/14/03


Do you have TMS if you masturbate both the normal way and face down? I do both and have not had trouble masturbating normally. (age 16)

A: Yes, you have TMS if you are masturbating face down. You might not have any problems from it at 16, because your capacity for erection and orgasm are so high at your age. But they are apt to show up as you get older and your sexual capacity declines. Even a small decline (like the one males get around age 21) is apt to show the degree to which masturbating prone is affecting your sexuality. You need to quit masturbating face down.

6/16/03


It appears as though I have TMS. I'm 18 and I've been doing it all my life, I believe, as I can't remember at what age I started at. Perhaps 5 years old? Until about 6 months ago I had never tried any other method other that prone, into-the-hands. For the first couple of times I tried the "fist" method, I was unable to reach orgasm. I still can't do it regularly, and only after stimulating for a long time. I had always wondered if it was a problem, but this is the first time I've found information suggesting that it is.

I still am uncertain what to think about it. I am still a little wary about trusting this site, simply because, in my personal experience, there is way too much garbage information, some from people who claim to be "doctors" on the net. Nevertheless, I plan to try a different method. I've just recently found a technique on another site which I actually found more intense and pleasurable than the TMS method. My question is this: is this, in YOUR opinion, a worthy replacement to the TMS method?

A: No. I'm familiar with that site, and it promotes TMS as normal. The method you refer to is really TMS. I only recommend thrusting into your hand when you have tried unsuccessfully for a long time to get cured of TMS. Thrusting into your hand is still TMS. If you don't believe the case studies on this site, why not look up Dr. Sank's article at the nearest medical library.

6/20/03

Follow-up: By the way, a bit more about my skepticism. Please don't take it personally. Over the years I've become increasingly reluctant to take statistics, particularily internet statistics for face value. In addition, information on masturbation on the Internet has been found persistently contradictory. For example, I have read almost all of the information on the site, plus your question-and-answer sections, in which you suggested the normal weekly masturbation, the detrimental effects of not ejaculating, and how a slightly bent penis is "normal". Though I, personally, support all these points myself, I have found about three sites which disprove one or all three of these points. In the "Google" search where I found your website, I found the following ...

A: It's good that you're skeptical. I think my views reflect mainstream opinion about masturbation. One can always find websites, like the one you mentioned, with opposing views. But that site is selling a particularly ridiculous brand of new-age nonsense. And it;s selling it by recycling particularly noxious Victorian myths. You should always be especially skeptical of sites that are selling something, especially if it's something weird. Note that I don't make any money off spreading the word on TMS and there is nothing for sale on my site.

Another follow-up: Thank you for your response! That really sucks that the method turns out to be TMS! It seems to me that the conclusion to be drawn here is that if it feels really really good then it's probably TMS. (A: Not true. Normal guys and cured TMS guys enjoy non-TMS masturbation.) The other methods really waste a great deal of time and effort. I might give your abstention program a try. A few more questions if I may? Firstly, have you ever considered that TMS might be the result rather than the cause of sexual dysfunctional people? To me, it seems that an argument could be built around the fact that it is only losers like me who are sexual dysfunctional who are drawn to the face-down method. We're just not good at sex so we do it this way. (A: No. Guys learn TMS at puberty. They don't take it up later when they're unsuccessful at sex. TMS guys lose their virginity on average at the same age as normal guys.) Another question: Is there any evidence to show that people who recover from TMS, who don't do it anymore, also recover their sex drive and their sexual dysfunction goes away? (A: Yes. Read the case studies on this site. And TMS guys don't lack sex drive one bit.) Finally, if the method I tried is wrong, have you ever contacted that other site about it? (A: Yes, I have chastised the owner of that site for its promotion of TMS. But at least they have a paraphrase of Dr. Sank's article online and a link to this site.)


I'm 15, and I have masturbated using a blanket in the prone position since I was probably 8 or 9. I found your site exactly a week ago, and abstained from masturbating for this entire week. A few hours ago, I tried to masturbate with my hand and on my back, but couldn't do it. I got a full erection, but just wasn't feeling anything. The fact that I could only think about the feeling of my hand gripping my penis was not allowing me to think of anything sexual. It just felt really weird, and not arousing at all.

After trying that for about 20 minutes, I decided that I couldn't do it solely with my hand, and went back to my normal blanket method, until a few seconds before I was ready to ejaculate, at which point I rolled onto my back, and finished off with my hand.

My first question is, is this a good stepping stone to doing it completely normally? Second, right now I am going to abstain for another week, and try again, could you give me more detailed advice on what to do when I try again? Third, would you recommend just lying there and trying to masturbate for as long as it takes, even if I'm there for an hour, or should I just give up and wait another week?

A: Congratulations on deciding to quit TMS. You need to relax and focus on a sexual fantasy, not on how masturbating on your back feels different from masturbating prone. I think you gave up too quickly. Whenever masturbation isn't working, you should stop for a few hours and try again. It's no fun to work at it for a half hour or more. By going back to TMS, you basically wasted your week of abstinence. Good luck on your second round, but please give supine masturbation several tries this time. It might help to focus on some pictures next time. I think at your age you can recover from TMS pretty fast.

6/26/03


Doug: Thanks! I'm fully and completely recovered and I'd like to thank you for your reassurance in that difficult period.

Thank you, I truly appreciate it.

Keep up the fantastic work.

6/27/03


How long does it take until sex is normal? (age 23)

A: We've heard various answers from cured guys. Give it at least a month. Might consider joining the support group and starting a discussion of the question in there.

7/10/03


Have there been any findings of people that have done so much damage in the prone position that nothing will enable them to ejaculate in a normal position and with a partner? (age 25)

A: I've never come across a case study that was intractable, but some people have become frustrated at how long it takes them to get cured. Some of the people who have reported their case to me have practiced very brutal masturbation (as did at least one of Dr. Sank's original four cases) and they were able to masturbate normally and have sex with partners.

7/12/03


Hello. I am a happily married male, 35, one son, 8. I have been masturbating by "humping the bed" since I was 6, but I would never consider it traumatic in any way shape or manner. I have always done it with a mostly (but not totally) soft penis, folded under itself, and I sort of roll it around and hump some until I have an orgasm. I have never had any problem getting an erection; in fact, I get one easily. It always gets hard after I orgasm and lift up, and stays hard for 5-10 minutes. Althought I've done this with a full erection, I much prefer to do it with a mostly flaccid penis, as it takes longer and never chafes. The only problems that may or may not be associated with my method is that I can only orgasm while on my stomach, no matter what, including oral and sex with my wife, but she too can only orgasm while on her stomach. As far as being traumatized by this method, I don't consider myself traumatized in any way, but I very much enjoy this method several times a week now. My wife even helps me do it during her period.

A: I didn't consider my TMS traumatic until I read Dr. Sank's article either. You describe being able to orgasm in only one position. This is a consequence of TMS. You need to quit now and enjoy your sexuality more fully. I'd be interested to know more about your wife, since we're just starting to explore TMS among females.

7/17/03


I read your information page on TMS, thanks a lot because I am a TMS "victim." I shall try to cure it now. I had one doubt.

7/17/03


I'm 19. At about the age of 7 I discovered that I could masturbate by humping the floor (TMS). From then on I did it compulsively for almost 7 years. I have memories of doing it practically everywhere (after all floors are everywhere). By the age of 14 the skin on my penis had become darker than the rest of the skin on my body and so I began to think that humping the floor was indeed bad for my penis. From then on I switched, with the help of some porn, to normal hand-style masturbation. Nonetheless, I think the damage was done. At around the time of my fifteenth birthday my penis started to curve upwards. It is a rather sharp curve that developed after years of trauma from humping the floor (TMS) so I think it probably is Peyronie's Disease. I will eventually see a urologist when I can do it without my parents knowing/paying (my curve hasn't gotten worse over the last 4 years so I don't feel it is too urgent). In any case, from my own experience I believe TMS can cause the trauma which is in turn often thought to be the cause of penile curvature. What do you think of my story?

A: It's good that you were able to quit TMS without any prompting. Congratulations! For most men, the penis is darker than the rest of the body, and I'm not convinced that masturbation or other sexual behavior has anything to do with it. Not all penises are perfectly straight. You should not diagnose yourself with Peyronie's Disease. If you think you have it, you should see a doctor NOW! Don't worry about your parents finding out. You have a right to doctor-patient confidentiality even if their insurance is paying. If pressed, just tell them it wasn't caused by an STD. Although I've not asked it in my online survey, I haven't heard enough anecdotal evidence of curvature from TMS guys to believe that TMS is a cause. I get many more questions about curvature from non-TMS guys.

7/28/03


Thank you greatly for your website. I accidently stumbled across (as in really accidently, I was doing a google search on the Christian right), and while my friend was laughing I immediately realized TMS is what I have.

Thank you very much for your site. (I'm sure you've heard this a hundred times.)

8/1/03


I am almost 18 and I have been masturbating since I was around 13. No one ever told me the proper way to masturbate, so I originally did TMS because it seemed logical for the "missionary style." I have been doing it from once to twice a week for five years now, but I have been able to switch off between TMS and my own hand (not prone) in various places. I have a very serious relationship with my girlfriend, and she could never get me to orgasm, and I knew it wasn't her fault. I found this site one day seeing what was wrong with me and it hit me right there. When I have done TMS, it's usually softly against a wadded up sheet or something, and does not take long, and neither does my regular way either maybe an hour at absolute longest, and that's usually with me purposely stalling, but without stalling half hour tops.

I am sorry for maybe giving too many details. But I am a strong Christian, and would like to not masturbate more than once every other or two weeks, and with my girlfriend not at all. I have read your way of curing TMS, and if there is another way you can help me. Also, do you think that I should see my doctor for further help, and have I done this to permenantly damage myself, it looks as if some worse cases have made full recoveries, but still I worrry. Again, thank you, I just want to continue my relationship with this girl, and share this intimacy with her. Any help you can provide is great your site has made things very helpful. I told my girl about what was wrong and she was very understanding, and wanted to know if there are things she can do to help as well. Hope to hear from you soon.

A: I think you can be cured without the full abstinence program since you already know how to masturbate the normal way. It shouldn't take you more than half an hour, though, so maybe you're still suffering from the effects of TMS. Christians masturbate as much as anyone else. I am one too and do not worry about it. There is new evidence that frequent masturbation in the 20s prevents prostate cancer later. The only way of being cured of TMS is through normal masturbation, so that's what you'll have to do. Don't do anything sexual with your girlfriend until you've stopped TMS and can masturbate once a day the normal way.

8/1/03


I was wondering if I could ask you some more questions. I've not used the prone method now for three weeks - thanks for your help.

The first time I tried to masturbate normally (6 days of abstaining) I was successful after using visual stimuli. I then went another 2 days, and then 1 more. Then 7 more, until last night I again masturbated using the normal method.

My concern is that in order to succeed at this method I need to accelerate my strokes substantially, which often causes swelling later on. I also have to strain my pelvis area and buttocks.

Have I been cured or am I still using an incorrect method? Or is this just part of the process.

Once again thanks for your help. I've found stopping TMS pretty easy. If I ever think about it I just remind myself of my horror stories and the ones from your website.

A: I don't know why you abstained 7 days after you had success after only one and two. It's normal for guys learning normal masturbation (both at puberty and TMS guys learning later) to rough themselves up a little while they're new. A little chafing here and there is OK (and should be addressed with lotion). But if you're having actual swelling, that's bad and needs to be addressed immediately. After a month or so of normal masturbation, you should be adjusted to the new routine and won't hurt yourself.

It's pretty normal for guys switching from TMS to incorporate their legs, hips, buttocks, and pelvis into their masturbation since those areas are so important in the movement of TMS. I don't think it's a problem, and I think you'll stop moving them as you find they're not necessary to produce orgasm in normal masturbation.

It looks like you're on the way to being cured. I think the stumbling blocks you've run into are pretty normal. You can masturbate the normal way after only six days, and that's the important thing.

8/13/03


I have been doing TMS since I was 15. Since last year, I have pain at the right side of my abdomen near kidney area after I masturbate. Sometimes the whole lower back hurts. This year i got married but though I am successful doing intercourse, TMS still makes me go for it whenever I get an opportunity. The pain is only when I masturbate and not while making love to my wife. I enjoy all the positions but it takes me time to reach orgasm while having intercouse. What is causing pain now? (age 28)

A: I have no idea. What you describe would make more sense if you also had it during intercourse. I have to believe it's somehow connected to the TMS position. You might try quitting TMS and see if you still have the pain during normal masturbation.

8/20/03


I never knew that you can get TMS from masturbating face-down. I had been masturbating face-down for years! (age 30)

A: TMS is masturbating face down. And I was older than you when I found out.

8/21/03


I cannot believe that the way I masturbate has finally been discussed on a web site. I had no idea that I was suffering from TMS (over 80% on a bed). I was married about a year and a half ago and have put my wife through erectile dysfunction that I never understood.

That, along with phimosis, led me to seek help. With stretching exercises and this great site I believe that I can give her the life that she deserves. Thank you for your honest and candid information. (age 32)

A: Good luck! Hope this site can help.

8/22/03


For me, prone masturbation has been a habitual act since the early age of 4. But at the same time I don't necessarily have to be lying on my stomach to achive orgasm. When I am sitting down, I find that if I thrust my penis against an object such as a desk's edge,, I can satisfactorily achieve orgasm with enough rubbing and/or visual aids. I can use this technique anywhere and anytime I'm sitting at a desk. Is this less harmful than masturbating while laying on your stomach? Or is it something in league of its own? (age 18)

A: It's about as harmful as masturbating prone. You're still practicing an atypical form of masturbation, and these habits don't translate well to having sex with partners. You ought to quit the thrusting bit.

8/24/03


It's been awhile since I've written and I have mostly good news and some questions. I have not masturbated in the prone position since I wrote you last, and I can achieve orgasm in less than 15 minutes most times, unless I'm on my 3rd day in a row, then it takes a little longer.

My questions are when going the normal way, how tight should your hand be, and how fast should you be moving it. Secondly, my g/f and I tried having sex finally, and she still could not get me to orgasm. We waited around a week before we tried and no luck either. I can feel great sensation, but I will either go limp, or the feeling goes away. Next is how do you know the difference between wet dreams and sleep masturbation, because I fear I may be TMSing in my sleep, and I have been wearing pants to bed. And I'm a pretty serious boxer, so would a rigorous training schedule have any thing to do with my lack of orgasm with my g/f. Because in the past we have grinded with clothes on either her or I on top. Since your site, I have stopped being on top, and only she has but was the other way TMS 'cause it wasn't actual intercourse, or are both ways bad for us. other than that the only other way we've tried is with me on my back and her doing it the way you're supposed to.

A:It shouldn't take as long as 15 minutes to masturbate, at least not too often. If you're having trouble on the third day and having trouble with intercourse, then I suggest masturbating only every other day until you're more comfortable with it and avoid having sex until you can masturbate efficiently every day. And no more of that "dry" intercourse. That's not doing you any good.

In normal masturbation, the hand should be kind of loose. It's not surprising if you're holding it tighter and stroking harder and faster than a normal guy would while you're becoming used to it. You'll stroke more slowly and with less force as you get used to normal masturbation.

I think you'd know if you had a wet dream if you had done anything to make it happen. I don't think you could masturbate in your sleep while wearing pants.

8/25/03


Hi, thank you so much for your site. I am a single 33 year old male who has had TMS for years (face down, on my palm). Without your site I still would not know what was going on. You are performing a tremendous public service!

First, my question. I am having trouble solving my problem through the abstinence method you suggest. Two weeks doesn't seem to do it for me. It makes me more sensitive but not enough to have an orgasm in another position. I think I have the willpower to go longer than that. I suspect it may take one or more months. But you indicate on your site that not doing it for more than two weeks can do damage to "sexual functioning." (I think I have gone longer than two weeks before, and everything seems to function fine except the sensitivity problem.) Where did you get that information from, and are there other opinions? I suspect there are many religious people in this country who either do not masturbate at all or masturbate as little as their willpower allows and can still perform sexually.

Second, my comment. I do work with the child protection system. I noticed that many sexually abused infants start masturbating young. As you indicate on your site, masturbating young may be connected to TMS as that is the easiest way for a child to stimulate himself. Therefore (and this is just a thought) I suspect that sexual abuse can increase the chance of developing TMS. A study on that would be interesting.

A: The two weeks is only a guideline, and it refers to a regular pattern of behavior rather than a one-time event. You can look up prostatitis in any medical book and find that it is caused by infrequent ejaculation. I doubt that there are people who don't masturbate at all because of their religion. A new study out this summer finds that men who masturbated five times a week or more when they were young had the least chance of developing prostate cancer in their 60s. As to your problem, two weeks ought to be more than enough. You might need to focus on something when you're practicing, like pictures.

It seems that men who develop TMS as a result of prepubescent masturbation are the minority. Most pick up the habit at puberty, and I think there are as many late bloomers (like me) who don't start masturbating until after puberty as prepubescents. No TMS sufferer has ever related a history of sexual abuse to me.

8/26/03


I have been masturbating the TMS way for a long time and I just switched over to the right way. After I was done my penis got all puffy. Why is that? (age 15)

A: I've never heard this before. It might have something to do with your grip? It might help if you shared some more details.

8/26/03


I am making progress in quitting TMS. I read about it in Playboy in my country. I have another problem. When having sex, my penis aches a little when the skin is moving. What could THAT be? Is it because of TMS? If not, where could I get more information about that? It does not hurt, but it's an unpleasant feeling. Anyway, I feel great since i quit masturbating prone. Thanks a lot! (age 23)

A: Glad I helped you get cured! Your penis is not supposed to feel unpleasant. It would help if you could isolate the problem and identify how it's different from how that same skin feels during masturbation. If you can't figure it out, might see a doctor.

8/27/03


I tried masturbating supine the othe night, and I reached orgasm in about 10 minutes. I like to last for about an hour, because when I did it prone (by thrusting into a masturbation toy) I usually last an hour, Am I doing anything incorrect? (age 30)

A: Yes. Trying to last an hour is incorrect. Congratulations on learning to masturbate supine. 10 minutes is an A-OK time.

8/29/03


I found this page through Yahoo! and I was surprised at what I have read. I'm 21, and all of my life I had masturbated in the prone position, and only now that I have read this web site is it confirmed to me that it actually is a problem. I come from a very conservative family, so any talk of sex or even the slightest allusion to the sex organs was strictly forbidden. In my mind, this extended into school, so I even avoided talks about sex and/or masturbation with my friends. However, even then, I knew something had to be wrong with me, because when my friends refered to, or talked about masturbation, I had no idea what they were talking about. They would talk about "jacking off," or "yanking it," while sometimes making a gesture with their right hand into a fist and shaking it up and down. Back then, I thought I had never masturbated, as I had never touched my penis to achieve it.

I leared to hump a hard surface for the purpose of achieving orgasm. This was in the second grade while accidently sliding on a slanted log in a wooden playground apparatus. Masturbation was one way in which I could never identify with my friends, because I didn't do it like they did. Sometimes, I would be in the same room with another friend talking about what makes us horny, and we'd even masturbate talking about it. I would get weird looks from other guys who had their pants down and their fists around their penises staring at me as if asking "what the hell is he doing?" So then I avoided confrontations about masturbation with my friends, lest it lead into anything like that.

I cannot achieve an erection when I want. I was embarrassed in front my friends whenever confrontations like the one I desribed happened, and everyone else was hard and I wasn't. I have only fooled around with one girl, and after that, I don't feel like doing that ever again. It was a complete catastrophe. She had to watch me as I humped the floor.

After reading this site it appears I may have hope yet. I begin my abstinence period now. After reading your site, it really bothered me that I had no control over where I could masturbate. I can only masturbate where there is a carpeted hard floor. Not that I actively seek to masturbate with friends or anything, but it really bites at me deep at the back of my head that I couldn't do it if the situation should arise. It sucks that I have to "kill the mood" because of my problem. Since my first encounter with a girl, I'm afraid to even get into a relationship because I know it will eventually lead to having sex, and I'm afraid of having another nightmare like the one I talked about. I thank the author for the advice on this site. I hope to get cured.

A: Good luck to you. Guys in worse shape have been cured by following the advice on this site.

9/3/03


I'm 19 years old and started TMS about 10 years ago. However, I'm used to masturbating daily and sometimes I can't abstain from masturbation for a day or two. Somehow, I can't control it. I fear that I would fail trying the abstinence program because of my daily masturbation problem. Can you recommend another way of curing TMS? Is daily masturbation a problem?

Thanks a lot for the information about TMS. I knew I had a problem.

A: Most teenaged males masturbate daily. So I don't think it's a problem in itself. You seem to have a problem with it though. You have to quit masturbating for a week at a time so that your penis will be sensitive enough that you can masturbate a new way. The only thing that might help is using Viagra to give you enough of an erection that you can masturbate without the sensitivity provided by a week of abstinence. One of the case studies on this site describes that. Why not give the abstinence program a try? You'll be glad you did.

9/10/03


I must first thank you for a very useful and enlightening site. Your site really let me come of age, so to say! I was one of those unlucky 10% of guys who had learned 'it' the wrong way. I could relate to whatever your site said and realized what TMS had done to me. For some time I felt pretty underconfident also. I wasn't able to come out of TMS. I remember myself taking to TMS from the time I can remember (right from early childhood). I am a 21 yr old virgin. Even a whole 2 months of continual trying to unlearn but, one fine day, I struck it! I couldn't believe it. Now, it doesn't take as much time for me to get an orgasm, and everything is quite literally in my hands! It is a great feeling now to have escaped out of a seemingly unfightable position (prison, I should say). My confidence level has gone up greatly. I would want you to put my case in your website to help other guys to come out of it, the lesson being "DO NOT GET DISHEARTENED IF YOU AREN'T ABLE TO CHANGE. WHEN A SEASONED TMS GUY CAN CHANGE, YOU CAN!!" I MEAN IT! I am sure there are lot more people like me who aren't quite aware of what TMS is causing them. I hope your site helps them too. Thanks again.

9/11/03


I've tried the abstention program for two weeks in a row and when I tried masturbating normally I still don't feel the urge to climax. Is there a way to trigger this climax physically? (i.e., should I apply pressure or constrain parts of the body?) What should be the physical reaction of your body when masturbating the normal way? Also, if I keep masturbating with no ejaculation, should I keep going with the program? (age 19)

A: Your sexual response will feel different from what you're used to when learning to masturbate normally. The thing to do is focus on a sexual fantasy; using pictures helps. Apply most of the pressure to the shaft of your penis and just a little to the head (glide a finger or two as far as the base of the glans on the underside). When you're successful, the orgasm and ejaculation will feel a lot like they do in TMS. It's up to you to keep up the program. I can understand if you'd go back to TMS after a couple of weeks with no ejaculation. At your age it shouldn't take as long as it has for you. That makes the mental focus all the more important.

9/22/03


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