Many older questions from readers have been moved to one of these topic pages:

• Penis and anatomy
• Sexual response & puberty
• Fantasies, fetishes & unusual practices
• Sexual problems, aches & pains
• Sex with partners

When does a normal healthy male start to have erections? And how long (shortest time) does it take for a normal healthy male 19 year old to go from zero excitation to orgasm?

Babies have been born with erections. Most males have erections from infancy, but these are not the kind you're thinking of. Prepubescent erections tend to be soft; one would have an extremely difficult time having intercourse with such an erection. Most males get their first serious erections at about the age of 12. From puberty to about age 20, most males have an erection about every 90 minutes to 2 hours, which last about 20 minutes each.

At age 19, many men can go from equilibrium (the state of not being aroused) to orgasm in less than two minutes. The average at that age is about 5 minutes. At any age, the smart men (who make the best lovers) try to make themselves last longer. A 19-year-old who can last 10 minutes is ahead of the game.

I'm 13 and I enjoy masturbating. I have a clear liguid that comes out before I ejaculate. what is that?

That's bulbourethral fluid, produced by the Cowper's (or bulbourethral) gland. Many guys call it "pre-cum." Its purpose is to neutralize any traces of urine that might still be in the urethra before ejaculation.

I'm 13 and I have been masturbating for a few months now, but I have never produced any semen. Is that normal?

Yes. Most guys start producing semen when they're about your age. Just wait a few more months. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

I'm 11 and I'm going through puberty and today I read your whole site and it's good. I haven't masturbated yet and I heard it's fun. I have one question. What should I do to get an erection? I've tried a couple things but they don't seem to work. Thanks.

I wouldn't try so hard to have an erection at your age. Erections will come in time and so will masturbation. You don't have to have an erection to masturbate, but I think you'll be better off in the long run if you hold off on masturbating until you can do it with a real erection. If you're already in puberty, it will probably be only a matter of weeks or months. Good luck.

What is the most effective way of masturbating and have the most pleasure? I sometimes use soap and water in the shower, but I don't feel the same orgasm I normally do. I masturbate only one to three times a week. (Age 17)

I think most guys would say they enjoy masturbating the most when they can lie down and relax afterward. The survey I recently conducted for this site found that guys did more masturbating in the bathroom, but I suspect that this is due to time or privacy constraints and not necessarily because it was more enjoyable. If you're using soap, be sure to wash it all off.

I'm 15 and I have been masturbating for 3 years and I have never had any semen come out.

That's bad. It would help if I had some more information, especially if you have wet dreams. If you're having wet dreams, then the only thing I can suggest is try to relax and concentrate on something that increases your arousal as you masturbate. If you're not ejaculating at all, then I think you need medical help. Good luck.

I'm 13 and sometimes my semen is white and sometimes it is clear. Why is that? I heard masturbation shrinks your penis. Is that true?

No, it's not true at all. Your semen might be clear because at your age you might not be producing all the components of semen yet. Or maybe you're noticing the "pre-cum" (bulbourethral fluid) that comes out first. And semen that comes out turns clear in less than a minute of being exposed to the air. You can time it!

Sometimes when i ejaculate there is a trace of a yellowish thick liquid mixed with my sperm. Is this normal? I'm 14.

Yes, that's prostate fluid. It's more likely to be thick and yellowish if you haven't ejaculated in a few days. That property of built-up prostate fluid is one of the reasons it's necessary for guys to ejaculate frequently. When prostate fluid gets old, it's not a medium that sperm can live in easily. So a guy who masturbates every few days keeps his semen fresh and healthy enough to fertilize a woman. You can learn more in the book Human Sperm Competition: Copulation, Masturbation, and Infidelity by R. Robin Baker and Mark A. Bellis. (Your junior high library probably doesn't have it.)

Hi, this weird thing just happened to me. I was watching a video with a sex scene then after I had an orgasm and I ejaculated but it was like a little white soap sud. Then today I did the same thing but nothing happened. Can you tell me whats going on? (age 12

It's not unusual that you can't ejaculate every time when you're just starting. You just need to develop more and get more practice.

Do you really need sperm to ejaculate?

The sperm, no, but you need the seminal fluid the sperm are carried in. The semen is what gets ejaculated. Without semen, there is nothing to be ejaculated.

I think that for my age (14) I'm normal at everything but I want to take more time masturbating. If I ejaculate in five minutes, how can I make it take six or seven minutes?

Five minutes actually isn't too bad for 14. The trick to lasting longer is to change your focus when you feel that orgasm is imminent so that you can keep your erection but don't have the orgasm. Then when you think you've gone as long as you want to, just let the orgasm happen.

You say that when semen has been exposed to air, it's transparent. Then how does one differentiate semen from urine? (age 16)

I hope you're not having trouble with this yourself! Urine and semen are produced by completely different bodily processes. If you happen to come across a puddle of it, you'll know which is which. Urine is usually yellow and flows like water. Semen is thicker.

Sometimes when I see semen it's clear but not white and thick. Is that bulbourethral fluid or is that just the color of some semen?

Semen is white when it comes out but then turns clear. When it dries, it turns yellow.

I'm 44 and I have been masturbating since I was 12 or so. I'm so excited about masturbating 2 to 3 times a day. I am single but I do have a girlfriend. I find it so hard not to think about sex all the time! I like to masturbate! Is this normal for my age?

It's very normal to like to masturbate and even to think about sex all the time, but masturbating two to three times a day is extremely high for your age. (For any age.) Some guys masturbate a lot and say it doesn't affect their sex lives, but I find it hard to believe that sex with your girlfriend is as good as it could be when you're masturbating so often. Why not try cutting back to three times a week, or even once a day, and see if you enjoy sex more?

When you say that one should be able to masturbate for about 5-10 minutes, should I be feeling the orgasmic feeling all that time? I can do the hand actions for a while, but only feel the pleasure for a little while. (age 18)

There are four stages of sexual response: arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. The arousal stage lasts the longest. It starts with the erection. Plateau is when you have the feeling that you'll ejaculate if you keep up what you're doing. It lasts anywhere from seconds to one minute. (The people who have the most control over their bodies make the plateau stage last longer.) Orgasm only lasts for about eight seconds. And resolution is the period from when the orgasm ends until you're back to equilibrium, which is the state of not being aroused.

I am 15, and masturbate about 6-7 times a week. I have had a girlfriend for 2 years and she has given me oral sex twice. I would like to know:

1. Are there any techniques in masturbation to get me to ejaculate like the people in porno (squirting everywhere)?
2. Is it OK/healthy to swallow others' semen or your own?
3. My girlfriend has asked me to help her masturbate. Is this OK? If so, how should I go about it? Any tips?

I think 15 is too young to be sexually active, so I suggest you wait a while before performing manual intercourse on your girlfriend. (Masturbation is what you do to yourself. When you do it to someone else, it's manual intercourse.) Semen is mostly protein. There's nothing unhealthy about swallowing your own. Swallowing someone else's is unsafe sex, because semen can carry sexually transmitted diseases. And what you see "squirting everywhere" in porn movies is liquid soap. You'll have to be satisfied with the 5-7 ml that comes out of you.

Is it true that you reduce your masturbation habits after having sex for the first time? (age 19)

I think it is. Most guys masturbate less when they're sexually active. Remember the rule of thumb for younger males I state on the main page: M = 8 - (2 * I). Weekly masturbation frequency equals eight minus twice the number of acts of intercourse.

While masturbating I will take my hand off it for a couple of seconds to change a page or to click on a different screen, and during this time it starts to go down, then I put my hand back on it and pull a little then it gets hard again. Is this normal? (age 22)

Yes. The best way to maintain an erection is to be constantly stimulated. Distractions are apt to make your erection go soft.

If you drink alcohol does that mean that you'll get your sperm count lowered? Does that mean it'll eliminate the regular ejaculation volume? (age 13)

I don't know that alcohol lowers sperm count or reduces ejaculate volume, but being drunk can make it harder to get an erection and reach orgasm. And being an alcoholic can make it pretty tough to find a partner. Better plan to stay sober and safe.

If the fluid gets stuck and you get blue balls does it later go away? And is masturbation a thing that all men have to do? (age 13)

The pain of blue balls will go away as the blood and sexual fluids drain from the genitals. I side with the experts who say all men have to masturbate.

What happens when you urinate during an erection? Is it bad for you?(age 11)

It's not bad for you, but the urine stream is much harder to control, which might be bad for your walls, floors, etc. With an erection, it's much easier to urinate into a wall-mounted urinal than a toilet. It's impossible to urinate while ejaculating, because the connection to the bladder is blocked prior to ejaculation.

When I masturbate, after I reach orgasm, I keep masturbating. Is that normal? (age 15)

Actually, it isn't. Guys stop at the orgasm because 1) they're satisfied and 2) the penis is generally too sensitive for continued masturbation. A very tiny minority of males are multi-orgasmic. The rest of us are jealous of you if you're one of those. But if you can't have another orgasm, why do you keep going?

I've been masturating since age 16. I usually do it lying on my belly (TMS). I have no problem with erection or ejaculation. My main problem is that if I am very aroused I ejaculate in 1 minute. How can I make it longer? (age 31)

You don't say if you've experienced intercourse successfully. You're at about the age when many TMS practitioners start noticing problems with erection and orgasm. The first thing you should do is quit the TMS. To answer your question, you just need to slow down when you realize that orgasm is imminent. Try to last even a minute longer at that point. Once you get the hang of controlling it, you can go as long or short as you like.

Is there a certain way that you can masturbate that will cause a stronger orgasm or ejaculate like some of the masturbation websites say? (age 14)

At your age, you should be concentrating on developing a healthy sexuality. Honing your orgasm can wait. But since you asked, you need to gain muscular control to delay your orgasm for about two seconds right before you ejaculate. Doing this allows the ejaculate to build up and when you let go, BANG! Again, this can wait until you have mastered the basics.

What does a sterile male mean? I've been 13 for 4 months now and I still can't ejaculate.

Sterile means unable to produce children. Lots of guys can't ejaculate at 13 1/3.

I just turned 14 and yesterday I think I ejaculated for the first time. I was watching a porno and masturbating at the same time and all of a sudden it started feeling really, really good for like 5 seconds and then my penis went down and in my undies there was this smallish wet patch. I felt it and it was sticky but I didn't see any white stuff. Did I ejaculate?

Probably. I think you would have enjoyed it more if you hadn't had to work through your undies. October 14, 2003 is a date you and Steve Bartman will never forget.

Follow-up: Since then I have tried another two times and although I have reached the same exact high watching the same porno no semen has come out of my penis unlike the first time. What does this mean?

It means you're still learning. Just relax and don't worry about it.

I am 14 years old and I have been masturbating since I was about 11. I have noticed that my ejaculate looks more like mucus. What should I do?

You might try abstaining from masturbation for a few days and see if that makes a difference. Semen looks abnormal after less than a day has passed since the last ejaculation and when more than five days have passed. If that doesn't make a difference, you might call a nurse line. You can be anonymous.

I'm a girl, 14, and I love to think about sex. It makes me feel so good. I masturbate with the end of a paint brush. When I achieve an orgasm, a whole bunch of clear grayish liqud comes out. If that were to happen during sex, where does it go? I make such a mess in my bathroom I masturbate on towels. What am I supposed to do with it?

I'm sure you've heard of the law of gravity. You know where it will go. Probably mixed with your partner's fluids. All guys have the problem of what to do with their ejaculate. I tell them to mop up with a clean rag, like an old shirt.

I am a 12 year old girl and I was wondering how girls masturbate? What are some things they use and where do you buy vibrators and other things to masturbate with?

A girl usually starts by stroking her clitoris or the area around it. Later she might insert fingers or objects like candles or carrots into her vagina. Females don't usually use dildos or vibrators until they're old enough to buy them or get someone to buy them.

I've been masturbating for about 6 months but never ejeculated or had a wet dream. Sometimes after masturbation something like a spit bubble appears at the top of my penis. I've also noticed that the longer it takes me to orgasm the more clear stuff comes out. Am I making it difficult to ejaculate and to go through puberty? When will I start ejaculating? (age 14)

I think you're well into puberty. The clear stuff (pre-cum) is a sign that you'll be ejaculating soon. I don't think you're doing anything wrong.

If you stroke your penis in a certain way or use more lube or something, is there a way that orgasm will be more intense? (age 14)

You'll have to experiment with different strokes and lube to see what you like best. There's no magic answer that will please everyone. It's mostly a matter of getting to know your body.

I go over to my mom's friend's house, and when I'm over there I like to wrestle with her son who is 14, but he always has something hard in his pants. When I feel this up against me I get wet down there, and then I use their bathroom and touch myself there. Is this normal? (age 12)

All of that sounds normal from a health standpoint, but you've obviously gotten too old to be engaging in non-sexual physical play with boys. Your getting wet means it's affecting you in a sexual way. It's a sexual thing for him too, because a guy wouldn't get hard wrestling with someone who didn't turn him on. It's a bad idea to masturbate anyplace other than your own home. If you were to be caught, word might get around and you would be severely embarrassed.

If you have masturbated face down for some time not knowing it was bad for you, if you stop, can you get better? (age 18)

Yes. Most guys are fully cured. It's easiest to be cured when you're in your teens.

I am not into the whole masturbation thing. But I hear it feels so good, and I want to feel it. I kinda think it is gross. I really want to try it. Help me please. (age 12, female)

You need to stop thinking of it as gross. Your vulva is no grosser than your mouth. You don't need to put your fingers into your vagina at first. Start by touching the area around your clitoris. I think you'll figure it out soon.

Is this OK: I masturbate by looking a pic and I lube up my penis with lotion and when I feel like my orgasm is about to start I stop for like 3 seconds then start again. I squirt more and it's more enjoyable. (age 13)

Congratulations. You've learned a technique to enhance your orgasmic control that most guys don't pick up on until later.

Whenever I put on boxer shorts I get an erection. I have only recently started wearing them. At school I wear briefs under the boxers so I don't have erections. Is it normal? The same thing happens when I wear something that is not tight around me penis such as pajama bottoms. (age 12)

You beg the question, why not wear only briefs to school. The erection is because the feeling is different. When you get used to it, they won't cause erections.

When I masturbate the correct way, I ejaculate all over my sheets. Is there a way to keep the semen from going all over the place? I used to ejaculate only on one spot when I did it prone, and now when I do it supine it doesn't go on one spot. Also should I use one hand to masturbate supine, or both? (age 30)

Most guys use only one hand and a time, but I haven't heard of people having sexual troubles from using both hands at once. You might try aiming your penis a little when you ejaculate. I think it'll be easier once you get used to masturbating that way.

Hello and I must first of all say, that your site is very informative.

I'm 15, and whenever I wake up, around at least 95% of the time, I have a fully fledged erect penis. I can get an erection from almost nothing, like thinking about a girl at school. This can happen as much as 5-10 times a day, every day. I also get them for no reason. I am able to successfully ejaculate every time I want to (3 + times a day).

I don't believe this is healthy, to masturbate so often, but if I don't, I find myself losing concentration until I relieve myself. Could this mean that I am producing semen too fast or something?

You're very normal. Typically, teenage males get an erection every 90 to 120 minutes, which last for 20 minutes each. That's why so many guys walking in the hall are carrying jackets and books in front of them. Your masturbation frequency is a little high, but I don't think it's a problem. You'll need to learn to ignore your erections when you need to concentrate on something.

When I have sex, especially oral sex, there is a LOT more semen than when I masturbate. Sometimes it is embarrassing that there is so much. I know this happens if I don't masturbate in a while before having sex, but it also happens even when I have masturbated regularly. What causes that? Is it bad? (age 21)

No, I think some guys just put out more semen. You shouldn't be embarrassed. The difference between a small ejaculate and a large one is only a couple of milliliters. Your partner probably doesn't notice. Anyway, it feels better the more that comes out.

I've tried ejaculating by stroking my penis in the up and down motion, but I have not been able to produce semen. I'm 13 so why can't I correctly masturbate?

I think your technique is correct but you just need a few more weeks or months for your body to be to the point of producing semen. Don't worry about it.

Whenever I ejaculate, my penis almost never goes soft. Sometimes I get a second or third orgasm and more semen comes out, and then it will go soft. Why does that happen? (age 18)

Some guys are multi-orgasmic, like most females are. There's a subculture out there that tries to teach men to have multiple orgasms. I think you're ahead of the game.

When I cum, I have a tendency to shoot semen all over the place. Is there any way to control where semen goes? (age 16)

The best way is to cup your hand over your penis right before you ejaculate. Then the semen goes in your hand or is deflected onto your abdomen.

Is it better to stroke fast or slow when jerking off? I used to stroke slow, but when I tried stroking faster it made coming more enjoyable. (age 15)

You'll have to experiment. I think older guys would say to stroke slowly.

I used to masturbate every day when I was in my 20s, but now I masturbate only once or twice a week. I can get aroused and reach orgasm only when watching a video. My semen is always yellow. Am I doing something wrong? (age 50)

None of that sounds wrong. Many older men need stimulation from pictures or videos. Semen will be more yellow the longer it's been since your last orgasm.

When I masturbate and when I feel the load coming, it is a clear liquid. In movies I see guys shooting out white liquid. I talked to a friend and he said I have to keep jerking after the clear stuff comes out to get the white liquid. Is this true? (age 15)

Yes, but don't expect as much or as thick as you see in the movies. That's special effects.

My brother, 15, says he doesn't masturbate. I don't think he's gone through puberty. I am taller, stronger, deeper voice. Can it be true that he hasn't gone through puberty? (age 14)

Yes, it's possible. Only a doctor can say for sure by checking his hormone levels.

Is it possible to run out of sperm while masturbating regularly? (age 15)

Your body has only so much sperm and semen at any time and it's possible to exhaust what you have on hand. That's why the fourth session of the day is often so hard and produces so little semen. But don't worry. Your body keeps on producing and might step up semen production to respond to the increased demand.

I masturbate but once I ejaculate I stop. Is there any way to stop that? (age 14)

That's the way it's supposed to be.

Whenever I get an erection I release this thin, clear liquid from my penis. It isn't semen (I think) but it is kind of sticky. I would lke to know what it is, why it is happening and how can I stop it. (age 13)

It's bulbourethral fluid, better known as pre-cum. If you kept masturbating when it comes out, you'd ejaculate soon. Its purpose is to neutralize any urine that might be in the urethra before you ejaculate.

I have been masturbating since 13 now I'm 19. When I started I did it 10 or 12 times a week. Now I do it once a week. Does masturbation reduce sperm in your body?

I can't imagine doing it only once a week at your age. Masturbation has no long-term effect on sperm count.

Thank you for a very informative site. I'm battling with masturbation. I feel that when I masturbate, I release my sexual drive. And with that, my natural male instincts to 'fight,' and 'compete,' in the workplace, sports, etc. From a naturalist standpoint, does my theory hold any weight? (age 31)

I'm not a naturalist, but I know that people who are superior competitors tend to masturbate more than average. And I've heard that deer masturbate after a fight. I think your theory needs more empirical input.

Day before, I saw your site and I really appreciate your serious efforts. We don't really get to see many sites catering sexual education (at least I have seen none). Since the time I have read what you told about masturbation, I have been feeling eager to share my problems with you. Though I am not really suffering from any sexual dysfunction mentioned in your site but still I have to know few things from you.

I belong to a Muslim country and in Muslim society it is unlawful and sin to commit any sexual activity other than with wife or husband. It includes masturbation too. Also, there are widespread rumours that masturbation is a bad activity, it leaves you weak, it causes sexual dysfunctions etc. But from you site I have learned that it is a blessing that all boys get for free and how it can be used for physical and mental pleasure.

I first masturbated when I think I was 14 (I am 23 now). But I felt so guilty and sinister that I never did it again until I was 18 (sounds unbelievable?). From then on I started doing it with a low frequency like once a month and for past two years, it has increased to like 4 or 5 times a month but still (before reading your site) I felt bad about masturbation and I always condemned myself for doing that. But now, I am sure I shall continue it with a higher frequency like twice a week and with mental comfort and ease too.

Now I have few problems. First, the wet dreams. I have been having wet dreams with frequency like 5 or 6 a month since beginning. And I am sick and tired of them!!! From your site I have learned that they are uncommon in boys over 15 because they start masturbation. I'm 23 and I still get them with same frequency. How can I use masturbation to get rid of wet dreams??

A: Personally, I always enjoyed wet dreams. I actually miss them sometimes but enjoy being awake for orgasms now. Most males masturbate more often than you do. That's why you're still having wet dreams. Masturbating 2-3 times a week will probably put an end to them forever.

Secondly I didn't get any clue from you site whether lubricants should be used while masturbating or not? Because I always used one (mostly shampoo or soap).

A: Those are dangerous to use as lubricants since they will dry out the skin badly if they are not washed off right away. Hand lotion is a popular lubricant, especially if you can't or won't buy a lubricant specially made for sex.

Third question. I rarely masturbate on bed. I do it in bathroom, mostly while taking a shower. So I cannot lay on bathroom floor like you said one should while masturbating on bed. I usually sit with my back againt the wall and legs spread with some distance between them. Sometimes standing and sometimes sitting on my feet. But I always use my hands making a fist around penis in fashion you have described and rubbing. Is it OK?

A: Yes, that's OK.

Then I could not learn from you site whether one should rub the head or not. All Muslim boys like me are circumcised in early childhood so head is always very prominent. And I would never enjoy masturbating without rubbing it. What do you say about it???

It's up to you. You should try to enjoy the feelings from stroking the shaft more since the shaft is better stimulated in intercourse.

And finally, I am afraid that I am suffering from premature ejaculation. I had a foreign girl friend 3 years ago with whom I had sexual intercourse 5 times and I reached orgasm in a minute or less each time and she was very disappointed and of course I felt really bad about it. After her I never had any sex partner but even while masturbating, I don't play for long. How can I use masturbation to increase the masturbation and intercourse (in future) sessions???

Try to last longer. If you're reaching orgasm in 2 minutes, set a goal of 3 minutes. Then go to 5 minutes, and so on. Women typically like to go about 10 minutes.

I'm 16, and I have been masturbating for several years now. I have 3 questions: 1) I have been sleeping nude for a while, (I have heard many people like it better than sleeping with clothes) and sometimes I have problems falling asleep because I get an erection. I masturbate, but sometimes it still is hard to fall asleep. What can I do to solve this? Is it just a sleep problem? 2) Many people talk about masturbating several times in a row, but I don't know how someone could have that kind of stamina...wouldn't it hurt? 3) How do you masturbate without lube? Rubbing an unlubed hand against a dry penis gets pretty rough!

1. The obvious answer is, if you fall asleep more easily with clothing (or pajamas), then don't sleep nude. I'd be more interested in what you like than what you've heard "many people" like. You might discuss with your parents trying an over-the-counter sleep aid if you really think your sleeplessness is a problem. (You don't need to tell them about either sleeping nude or masturbating.) The easiest solution to insomnia is to get up at the same time every morning.
2. Masturbating several times in a row means resting for half an hour or more between sessions. Most guys can do it at least twice that way. It's better to make "double-header" sessions a rare rather than common thing; save it for once a week or less. If your penis starts to hurt, then you're masturbating too much.
3. Many guys, especially younger ones, masturbate without lube. It's only a problem if the penis is getting bruised. A lube made especially for sex (like K-Y Liquid or Astroglide) is best for masturbating with, but if you're embarrassed to buy a sexual lube, ordinary petroleum jelly and hand lotion make good substitutes.

Hi, I'm 24 years old and I masturbate around 10 times per week. What's the average for my age? Also, there is a girl that I like and every time I see her I get a huge erection. Is this normal?

I think 10 times a week is a little high for your age. As I write on my site, I think 8 times a week is normal for men under 30 who don't have partners. Your erection is very normal. Why not ask the girl out? It might actually be easier if you cut back on your masturbating some.

How does masturbation affect sperm count? Is it likely that one may become infertile because of masturbation? I only ask because I fear that I may not be able to have children when I come of age to marry. I go weeks at a time without masturbating, but sometimes the sexual frustration leads the hand down there. Thank you for considering my questions. (age 17)

Masturbation does not cause anything more than temporary infertility, and it is theorized that regular masturbation actually improves fertility. Your sperm count will be lower right after you ejaculate, but it will be replenished in a day or so. Doctors like men to abstain from ejaculation for two to three days before a semen test because that optimizes the sperm count. Going longer than two to three days will also increase the sperm count, but these sperm will be older and weaker than those ejaculated after only 2-3 days, and the semen will be in worse shape to carry those sperm. So a man who masturbated 2-3 days before trying to inseminate a woman will have a better chance than a man who hasn't ejaculated in a week.

Are you only masturbating every few weeks because you're sexually active with a partner? Most guys your age without partners masturbate daily, and even those who have intercourse masturbate 3-4 times a week. In short, masturbating will do more to maximize your fertility and sexual health than not masturbating.

How long should it take to have an orgasm and ejaculation? Should it be around 5 minutes? I need more tips on masturbation. I'll take any kind of help. I just want to have a great sex life when I'm older. (age 13)

At your age, orgasms tend to come rather quickly. It's not so important how long they take at 13. It's always better to make them last longer, and I think five minutes is a good target to shoot for when you're a young teenager. It's good that you're thinking about what your sex life will be like when you're older. (Much older, I hope.)

Just yesterday I masturbated 4 times and had an orgasm all those times. Do you think my chance of ejaculating when I get 13 is better now because it's almost June and that's my birthday? Secondly, I only have an orgasm when I close my eyes and think of something sexy. Is this normal?

I think you'll be ejaculating soon but it might be a lot to ask by your birthday since that's only about a month from now. Don't worry about not ejaculating until you get to be 15. And yes, that's how most guys have an orgasm. Congratulations on discovering how at such a young age!

I am a big fan of your site. I am 14 and masturbate reguarly but I haven't had an orgasm yet. Is this normal?

Yes. A lot of guys don't have orgasms until they're 14. I wouldn't worry until you're 15.

I masturbate regularly but don't get an orgasm and can't ejaculate. I am a little worried. I jerk off every night. I have not had a wet dream either. Am I normal? Can you tell me how to measure a penis? (age 14)

You need to relax and enjoy what you're doing and not worry about ejaculating. The orgasm will come when you're relaxed. To measure length, put the zero end of a ruler at the point above your erect penis where it meets your body. You need a tape measure (the kind tailors use) to measure circumference.

My birthday is tomorrow June 12, and my grandma said that when you turn 13 you can father a child. But you can't father a child unless you can ejaculate because sperm is in semen, right? So do you think she's telling the truth and if so than how many months does it take to finally do that (not that I want to have a child.) (age 12, as of June 11)

Yes, your grandma has the timeline about right. Not all guys become fertile (able to father children) at the same time they can ejaculate. But if you're not producing sperm at your first ejaculation, you should be able to within a few months. Most guys have their first ejaculation when they're 13, so it will probably be only a few months for you. Happy birthday!

I'm 14 and I've been masturbating for over a year now once or twice a day but when I ejaculate I never seem to squirt. It just dribbles out. Why is that? Is that normal? How can I change that?

It's normal for guys to lack control over their ejaculation when they're new to masturbating. The trick is to hold back your ejaculation for just a second so that it builds up inside and comes out with more force. You need to feel the muscle that controls the ejaculation to do this. It's the same muscle you use to stop and start the flow of urine. Be sure not to press with your hand to stop the flow. That's dangerous. You just need to squeeze that muscle a little right before you ejaculate to control it. You would also have a fuller ejaculation if you masturbated less frequently. Why not cut down to once a day or even every other day until you gain control over your ejaculation?

Ejaculation only takes me four minutes at the most and after that my penis is too sensitive to touch. Is that normal? (age 14)

It's pretty normal for 14. At any age, the penis is too sensitive to touch after ejaculation. You should work at stretching your masturbation sessions out. Try to last five minutes, then seven minutes, etc.

I am 16 and I masturbate almost every Saturday night. When I have an orgasm I only ejaculate clear or yellowish semen. Is there something wrong with me?

I doubt it. Semen is more likely to come out yellow if one is only ejaculating once a week. That's because the fluid got old and turned yellow inside you. Semen will come out white if you ejaculate every day, which nearly all guys your age do.

I masturbate about once a day but I haven't had a wet dream yet like all my friends have. (age 14)

If you masturbate daily (or at all), it's unlikely you'll ever have a wet dream. Your friends probably had theirs before they started masturbating. Don't worry about it. Many guys have never had a wet dream, and some who have don't like them.

When I masturbate, if I see pre-cum does that mean I'm close to ejaculating? Does pre-cum have sperm in it? Where does pre-cum come from? Does it come from the same place semen comes from? Does masturbating with no lube hurt your penis especially if I do it more than once a day? (age 13)

The presence of pre-cum means you will ejaculate if you keep up what you're doing. Pre-cum can occasionally have sperm in it, which means be careful not to finger a girl if you have pre-cum on your hands. She could get pregnant that way. Pre-cum is produced in the Cowper's gland, also known as the bulbourethral gland. If your penis isn't hurting, don't worry about not using lube. Most guys prefer lube.

Will your sperm count decrease if you masturbate daily?

Your sperm count is optimized at 2-3 days between ejaculations. So ejaculating daily will tend to lower your sperm count. After 2-3 days, your sperm count will climb higher, but these sperm will be older and less viable than at 2-3 days.

I need help! Usually it takes me 30 minutes or more to reach orgasm and I know because I timed myself. How can I shorten my time? My hand gets tired, I get real sweaty and my penis head turns red. (age 13)

Either you're not mentally focused or you're doing it too often. Take a couple of days off. I think you'll be able to reach orgasm more quickly afterward. And if your head is red, you're stroking too hard.

Just wondering about the amount of protein lost during masturbation. As a gym rat, I was wondering if the loss is significant? (age 19)

The loss comes when the semen is manufactured, not when it is ejaculated. The ejaculate is only about a teaspoon, so the protein component is less than that.

Follow-up: Hi thanks for the reply but I did not understand your answer. So is it significant or not? (no. of grams??)

The protein content of a teaspoon of semen is less than three grams. I wouldn't worry about it.

I have been masturbating since I turned 15. But sometimes I reach orgasm in just 2-3 minutes and my penis isn't erect and hard enough during orgasm. (age 22)

Do you have TMS? That would explain your problem. If not, you might just need to concentrate more on what you're doing. It's OK to occasionally orgasm that quickly, but you should try to make yourself last longer. And if you're losing your erection while masturbating, it seems likely you're losing your mental arousal. Try to focus.

Is masturbating twice a week healthy or not? (age 16)

Yes, twice a week is a healthy level.

When I masturbate, I find that I don't seem to ejaculate much. All I can achieve is a few drops. Is this normal? (age 15)

Lots of guys find they don't ejaculate much when they're new to it, especially if they're masturbating more than once a day. Might try cutting back for a couple of weeks and see if your volume increases. It might also be that you're stopping before you're finished ejaculating. Don't stop the second you ejaculate.

When I masturbate my nipples get erect. I don't like the way it looks, and gives me problems wearing clothes, because the shape of a nipple shows up in a shirt. Can you please tell me a way to get rid of this, or how to get it back to normal? (age 17, male)

Nipple erection is a normal consequence of sexual arousal. They should go down soon after orgasm, but you'll have to live with it in any case. Wearing an undershirt will not only cover up the erect nipples, but also help them go down faster from the extra pressure.

I'm 13 and 1 month and I can't ejaculate.

Don't worry about not ejaculating until you're 15. Three in four guys will masturbate to orgasm by age 14. That means one in four won't until he's at least 14.

I recently started masturbating. I have had wet dreams but when I masturbate no semen comes out. I don't do TMS. I have pre-cummed once and kept going but had no semen. Is this normal? (age 13)

Many guys don't orgasm the first time they masturbate, even if they are already having wet dreams. Just relax and focus mentally on what arouses you. The mental focus is the most important thing. The orgasm might come when you aren't expecting it.

When I masturbate it feels good but when I have an orgasm (though I still can't ejaculate) I have a need to speed up. When I do that my penis burns. Do you know a solution to this problem? (age 13)

I do. With experience, you'll be better able to handle your penis so you won't hurt yourself while masturbating. In the meantime, you might try some kind of lubricant. Most guys your age use hand lotion although a lube made especially for sex is best. Also, while many people intensify their speed and pressure when orgasm is near, it's best if you can teach yourself to orgasm without increasing speed and pressure.

Follow up: You said a sex lube would be best. Is sex lube K-Y Jelly? If so, where can I find it? Yesterday I tried to open my penis hole. There was a white line connecting from the lips of it. Was that semen?

Not necessarily semen. And the opening is called the urethra. Always be careful opening it. I don't recommend any particular brand, but I think K-Y Jelly is too goopy. You might try K-Y Liquid or Astroglide. You can buy them at a drug or discount store (like K Mart or Target) next to the condoms.

I masturbate standing up. I read on your site that is not correct and healthy so I tried to do it lying down to get used to it. It took a long time. Do you know if I can't do it lying down because I am too used to doing it standing up? (age 14)

I never said that masturbating standing is incorrect or unhealthy. Standing is a variation that most guys don't try until they're experienced masturbating either lying or sitting, or both. It probably took longer because it's different from what you're used to. You should be more comfortable lying than standing, and therefore it should be easier for you to adjust to lying than it would for someone who's only done it lying to adjust to standing.

I am not getting my 8 hours of sleep. Will that slow me down in puberty? My mom and dad are breaking up on Thursday and I just found out I was born out of wedlock. This is making me not masturbate and I feel like committing suicide and it's hard to masturbate now. Please help me, I need to masturbate again! (age 13)

Sorry you're having so many problems! You're learning at a young age how being occupied with problems can mess up your sex drive. Not getting enough sleep will not retard your puberty. Lots of kids these days are born out of wedlock. It's not a big deal. And don't kill yourself. I don't want to lose a reader.

What's the easiest way to masturbate face-up on a waterbed? Should your back be on a firm mattress, or it doesn't matter? (age 30)

I suppose a firm mattress (or even a couch) would be better, but millions of guys learned to do it on their backs on a waterbed. When you're ready to give it a try, do it both ways and see if it makes a difference.

I just turned 13 and was wondering a few things: 1. What is an orgasm? 2. How long should it take for me to have an orgasm and ejaculate? 3. How tightly should I be squeezing my penis during masturbation? 4. What's a good way to tell if a girl likes you?

An orgasm is a sequence of physiological events corresponding to the peak of sexual response. The most important one is ejaculation. At your age, most guys can masturbate to orgasm in less than five minutes. Squeeze no tighter than a medium handshake. And the best way to tell if she likes you is if she smiles at you. Good luck.

You answered me before. Thank you so much! Your advice helped me and I now can have an orgasm and ejaculate. I used to use Vaseline but have found a new lotion that works quite well. I was wondering if any of these ingredients are bad for me: petrolatum, isopropyl palmitate, cetearyl alcohol, castor oil, glyceral stearate. (age 13)

Always glad to help. All of those sound like pretty common lotion ingredients. Petrolatum is petroleum jelly, and it doesn't surprise me that you like a lotion containing it if you've recently switched from Vaseline.

I found out I can ejaculate only if hold my orgasm back as long as I can though it's not much semen (soap sud semen look alike). I can ejaculate but it's not fair -- I want to ejacaulate at least half a tablespoon. (age 13)

You're not doing yourself any good by pushing yourself so hard. Ejaculate volume will come in time. And even us adult men rarely ejaculate as much as half a tablespoon. A single teaspoon (1/3 tablespooon) is typical.

Follow-up: If adults don't ejaculate that much how come when I watch porn movies the men ejaculate a LOT!!! I'm not pushing myself; it makes the masturbation time longer and I gotta practice if girls like a long time of sex, right?

No, none of that is right. You shouldn't be watching those cheesy porn movies; sex isn't like that. And what you see being "ejaculated" is liquid soap. It's all special effects, man. You're pushing yourself if you're trying to ejaculate more than you're able to. And you shouldn't be practicing for girls at your age. Just work at having a healthy sexuality.

Does masturbating affect the voice? (age 17)

It sounds a little different right at the point of orgasm.

I am a mother of a 9 year old little girl. She has recently brought to my attention that when she watches movies with any type of kissing, hugging, etc. that she gets tingling feelings in her private parts. She also stated she didn't know why, but she felt the urge to touch herself when she has these feelings. I tried very hard to remain calm and explain to her that the tingling sensations are quite normal and everybody gets them sooner or later. Needless to say she was so thrilled with my understanding, that she told me she was so excited she could talk to me about this and I didn't get mad, that she was gonna tell me everything from now on.

I accidentally walked in on her in the bathtub the other night to find her stretched out in the tub, relaxing and the water jetting from the faucet was hitting her vulva. When she realized I had seen what she was doing she simply just grinned at me and stated, "This feels great, Mom! You should try it sometime!"

She now comes to me and ask me if she can watch certain videos (basically "chick flicks") "in private." She seems very comfortable with her newfound adventures, but I am just dying. This is my little girl and I do not know what to say or do about this situation. I have always tried to be very open with my kids about sex, drugs, alcohol, etc., and I am glad she feels comfortable to confide in me, but I just never imagined it would be something like masturbation and at such a young age. She is a middle child (daughter 11 and a son 5), and neither of my other children (as far as I know) have even thought about this. I think I am most afraid that experiencing these types of feelings at this age will make her want to have sex with a boy at a young age. To my knowledge I do not think she has reached the stage of orgasm, but at this rate I fear it won't be long.

This is not a problem in public or anything she talks about in front of the other children. She acts like it is this big secret "just between us girls." In my heart, I can not stand the thought of her doing this but I also don't want her to feel ashamed or like something is wrong with her either. I know it is a very normal thing. I even masturbated when I was a kid, but it was not something I told my mother about.

I think you're already doing a good job being open about it and not judgmental (to her, at least). I don't think her behavior is anything to worry about or even all that unusual. A sizeable number of both boys and girls engage in prepubescent masturbation. The difference in your daughter is that she's open about it. I don't know that early masturbation leads to early sexual experimentation. We definitely know that a lack of sex education leads to early sexual experimentation, so I suggest you explain to your daughter what masturbation is in the larger context of sexual behavior, and soon. And it might be time to give her more privacy in the bathroom.

I masturbate 4 to 5 times a week and I started about 2 months ago. I've never ejaculated yet but today I felt I was really really close. It was about four minutes already so I just pushed hard like if you didn't have much to urinate. The stuff that came out was clear like water but still sticky. I've had wet dreams before and woken up right after and it was white and sticky. Is this normal? (age 13)

You're trying too hard to masturbate. The liquid that came out was bulbourethral fluid, what most guys call "pre-cum." If you had been able to relax and keep masturbating for a few minutes, I think you would have ejaculated. Just relax, keep a mental focus, and don't push yourself do hard.

I'm a 13-year-old boy. I masturbated once and I mostly just pinched it. Are there any right ways to do it?

Yes. Stroke the shaft of your erect penis with a loose fist. Touch the head only a little. Once you learn that, you won't say you masturbated once. (More like once a day!)

I have a technique where I pull down on my testicles and up on the shaft, or I will sort of press down on the shaft. It seems to be the way to get me hard. I am on my back when I do this. Could I be causing damage by pulling down on the testicles? It isn't very rough or anything. (age 32)

You describe an idiosyncratic way of masturbating. As discussed on this site, guys who masturbate normally have the least trouble in intercourse. It's probably not doing physical damage but it might not be doing your sexuality any good either. Try to have more than one way to get hard.

I'm almost 14 years old. I've been masturbating about a month and all I get is clear looking sticky liquid. After about 20 minutes of masturbating I just get that. I am always nice and relaxed and always think of something that arouses me when I masturbate. I've had wet dreams before and the semen was white. I don't do TMS. Is there anything wrong?

It's not at all unusual that you don't have it down correctly at age 13 after only a month. The clear liquid is bulbourethral fluid, better known as pre-cum. If you are patient and keep masturbating when it comes out, I think you'll ejaculate soon. Be sure to relax and just enjoy what you're doing. Try not to anticipate ejaculating.

I cannot ejaculate. I have been trying for like a month now. I realize some 15 year old guy asked this same question but does this have anything to do with the fact that I have no pubic hair? Do you know how older guys are called sterile? I know this means they cannot father children, but does this mean they cannot ejaculate? (age 13)

Don't worry about not ejaculating at 13. A month isn't that long. The pubic hair will probably grow in about the same time you start ejaculating. Maybe the same month. Sterile men cannot father children, but their other sexual abilities are normal.

I masturbate about two times a day and if no one is around for a long time, I usually try to go four times. If I keep masturbating this much will I be in danger of having a low sperm count in the future? (age 15)

No. Your body is constantly producing sperm. How much you masturbate has nothing to do with it.

I am 15 years old and I just started masturbating about a month ago. Whenever I finish masturbating I roll back my foreskin and I see a some white sticky fluid which I gather is semen. I don't understand how this can be so since during masturbation I wasn't aware of ejaculation, thus never experiencing an orgasm. Could you please explain what is happening?

The most likely answer is that it is pre-cum that you might not feel coming out. If you keep masturbating and focus your mind properly when you have pre-cum, you should reach orgasm soon. You should be ejaculating regularly at age 15. Are you having wet dreams?

Follow-up: No, I have never had a wet dream. Is that bad? What does this mean?

You ought to take this up with a doctor. It's very unusual to not have ejaculated at your age. Most guys are ejaculating at age 13.

How long do you have to wait to have a wet dream? (age 15)

If you're not having them at your age, I don't think you ever will. Guys who have them experience one about every 10 days.

I've been reading your very interesting site and I'm now concerned I might have a TMS-related problem. I don't masturbate prone (I don't think I could even reach orgasm that way) but I do masturbate in a way that's not typical. I'm uncircumcised, and I repeatedly squeeze and rub over the foreskin, directly stimulating the head and not really touching the shaft. I can do this either sitting or supine. Is this TMS? I don't do it often, but I am still also able to reach orgasm and ejaculate using the normal fist method with a fair bit more effort. Any answer would be appreciated. (age 16)

Squeezing is the second most common form of masturbation. It's good that you only do it occasionally. It's not a form of TMS. You might consider giving it up before you become sexually active.

I masturbate every other day and sometimes every day. Sometimes I get pre-cum and sometimes i don't. I've had wet dreams but I have never reached orgasam by masturbating. If you get hit in the testicles, could this damage your ability to ejaculate? (age 13)

If you've had wet dreams, you're old enough to masturbate to orgasm. You simply need to focus more when you're masturbating. It's unlikely an impact to the testicles would hurt your ejaculability.

I am 15 year old male and I have had wet dreams but never ejaculated when I have been masturbating. I get pre-cum but usually penis goes down then and I become disinterested. What should I do to ejaculate?

You need to focus mentally on something that REALLY turns you on so you can keep masturbating for as long as you need to. Once you've done that, it will get easier.

Should guys my age use lube? Where do you get your information from? (age 14)

Using lube is a personal choice. Many guys your age use it. I don't think it's essential unless you're roughing yourself up. I've been studying sexuality since I was your age and pay a lot of attention to what I hear from my readers.

When I masturbated yesterday, I reached orgasm but I didn't ejaculate semen. It was the color of water or clear jelly. What is that? (age 13)

It was semen. At your age, it's possible you're not manufacturing all the elements of semen consistently. I wouldn't worry.

I'm 14 and I've been masturbating for over a year. Most times I don't have any "pre-cum" at all. I masturbate twice a day. Is this because I masturbate too much?

It might be you're masturbating too fast. In guys who reach orgasm too quickly, the pre-cum comes out right before the semen and is indistinct from it. If you take your time, you'd be aware of the flow of pre-cum well before you ejaculate.

I masturbate every weekend. I ejaculate in about 45 seconds. How do I make that last longer? (age 12)

If you masturbated more often, it would naturally take longer.

My problem is that when I masturbated too much, my face became all plump, my height stopped, and my voice cracked? Why is it? Now I have stopped masturbating. Tell me what should I do. (age 15)

Those things all happened to you about the same time because they are all manifestations of puberty. Masturbation was not the cause. It was only one of the effects.

I have not had a wet dream yet. Why not? And when will I? (age 13)

You are not yet at the stage in puberty where you have sexual fluids to eliminate. It's possible you'll be masturbating before you can get to that point, in which case you might never have a wet dream.

I stumbled across your site from another sex discussion site with guys my age and older. I've been masturbating for years and still enjoy it about twice a week, even through many years of marriage. I hope it's still normal at my age, do you think so?

Yes, I do.

Can you judge how far someone is in puberty by looking? (age 13)

Puberty only takes a year to a year and a half. The different things that happen in puberty don't happen on a regular track; one person may be ejaculating but not have a changed voice or facial hair while another person may have a changed voice and facial hair but not be ejaculating.

God created the human body to pretty much run on cruise control. If you don't masturbate you have wet dreams. Masturbation is not neccesary. I challege you people to not whack it and see how much more alive you feel. I haven't masturbated in five months and my relationship with God has only gotten better. And besides wet dreams are cooler. (age 20)

I've heard adult men say they don't masturbate or they quit masturbating, but I don't believe them. John Gray says it took him seven years to quit, so if that's true, I don't think you could quit in five months. The absence of masturbation doesn't guarantee wet dreams. Infrequent ejaculation leads to prostate trouble (prostatitis and prostatodynia), and frequent masturbation when young has been shown to reduce the risk of prostate cancer when older.

What about women? Women don't have wet dreams. So then is God's plan that orgasm is for all males but only married women? I find it hard to believe that God didn't intend masturbation to be part of a healthy sexuality. You need to accept masturbation as a normal, even necessary, part of male sexuality. Pray for that acceptance instead of praying to quit.

What happens when masturbation loses its fun? I've been unable to find a female these past few years. I read that if you take 30 second breaks occasionally, it'll be better. I did this and it was better, but now that seems to have lost its effect. I'm just curious what I could do to make it more pleasurable again. I usually do this kneeling on the ground and using my hand. A part of the problem may be that I always use a container so I don't make a mess, but I can't find a suitable container and it's usually a tight fit with my hand in there too and that doesn't help. (age 22)

I think you need to start from scratch. I've been doing it more than twice as long as you have, and it hasn't lost its fun. I can't believe kneeling on the ground is more fun than where most guys do it (bed, shower, computer desk). Why not try more conventional means?

I have fears of being with women and satisfying them so I have masturbated more than having actual sex. My problem is when I have sex it is always after an interval of months from the previous time. I come fast when having sexual intercourse, when having a blow job or a hand job. (age 22)

Your fear of women no doubt keeps you from having the kind of long-term relationship that would give you more frequent sex and a likely cure to your premature ejaculation. I'd suggest addressing the fear of women first and letting the PE take care of itself. Most guys your age have masturbated many, many more times than they've had sexual intercourse.

What does orgasm feel like? I've tried masturbunring but I can never tell when the orgasm comes. What does it look like when the semen comes out? (age 12)

You'll know when you have one. You first feel some contractions within your pelvis that start slowly and then become more intense. Then the semen comes out as a whitish liquid. The whole thing takes 8-12 seconds.

When the prostate is stimulated what is the result? Why is it so bad to be the one in anal sex that is on the receiving end of the penis. Isn't it enjoyable to have the prostate stimulated? (age 14)

I've always found the prostate exam to be one of the least enjoyable minutes of my year. Proper stimulation of the prostate can cause ejaculation, although not necessarily an orgasm. Ejaculation without orgasm is usually not enjoyable. Anal sex is unhealthy because it can destroy the function of the rectum (namely, to hold waste matter until it is ready to be expelled) and because there is some research that shows that the person on the receiving end can suffer damage to the nerves that are important to sexual pleasure.

When a girl has an orgasm what happens? (age 13)

She doesn't ejaculate, but the feelings and muscular contractions are similar to those a male feels.

I masturbated before a Boy Scout meeting once. As I was sitting in the meeting, I felt a weird feeling in my penis and then some white stuff kinda oozed out. Was that semen? (age 12)

More likely it was pre-cum. That stuff keeps flowing after your erection goes down. Sometimes enough can come out that it seeps through your pants.

I just started masturbating and if I put some pressure on my testes, it gets me aroused faster and I enjoy it much more. Will this hurt me? I also get aroused when I'm wearing small underwear, like boxer briefs as oppoaed to regular boxers, or string bikini briefs as opposed to regular briefs. Is this normal? I know normal masturbation for a male is 8 a week, but I feel like I could do it forever! I've done it twice today, and feel like I could do it again in bed tonight. Is it bad after you have just masturbated, to do it again? (age 14)

You should avoid putting pressure on the testicles. Try to get aroused other ways. It's normal to be more easily stimulated when wearing what you're not used to. It's also normal for guys your age to masturbate more than the average male.

I am 13. What is a safe kind of lubrication that is a home product? How much should I use? (age 13)

Most guys who don't want to buy a sex lube get by with hand lotion or petroleum jelly. Use as little as possible.

I've been masturbating for ages now, but just today I ejaculated for the first time. I feel really guilty. I want to do it again, but I know I will feel guilty. Why am I feeling guilty, and should I keep on ejaculating? (age 14)

It's normal to feel guilty about masturbating because if everyone were content masturbating, there would be no reason for people to mate with partners and the species would die. Just enjoy your newfound pleasures, and before long guilt will be only an occasional thing.

How far can a guy make it squirt? Does it feel better when it squirts farther? (female, age 14)

It usually only goes a few inches, sometimes a foot. Guys make it squirt farther to show off, not because it feels better.

Great site! It clears up a lot of embarrassing questions. I've only been masturbating for a very short time, but I can't seem to ejaculate. I think I get an orgasm, and the stuff that comes out smells horrible, and is white. After it comes out, I don't want to masturbate anymore. Am I ejaculating, or just precumming? (age 14)

You're ejaculating. It might smell better if you did it more often. Or maybe you'll get used to it.

I'm 13 and still can't ejaculate! When I turn 14 shouldn't I be expected to ejaculate? If so, what if I turn 14 and still can't ejaculate?

Don't get ahead of yourself. You're not 14 yet. I tell guys not to seek medical attention until they're 15. It's likely you'll be ejaculating soon, perhaps within weeks.

Whenever I masturbate I feel like I have to urinate afterward. (age 13)

That's normal.

I used to masturbate daily but then cut down to 1-2 times a week. When I'm having sex or oral sex with a very attractive girl, I cannot reach orgasm until after 20 minutes of trying very hard. (age 17)

That's unusual for your age. Perhaps you're masturbating with too much force? Perhaps you're getting some kind of mental distraction during sex? I don't know what to tell you. You've already done what I would have suggested, cut down your masturbation frequency.

I'm trying to quit ejaculating when I masturbate because my coach thinks I would perform better without ejaculating. Is there any way I can masturbate without ejaculating? (age 15)

Glad I never had a coach like that. Masturbating short of orgasm isn't a healthy practice. If you masturbate, you should try to have an orgasm. Anyway, masturbating without ejaculating would have about the same impact on your energy level as masturbating to orgasm. Also, it's not uniformly agreed that ejaculating is bad for athletic performance. No one has ever studied the question formally, and I suspect that most of the athletes who claim not to be ejaculating are in reality jerkin' the gherkin as much as anyone else.

I tried masturbating for the first time, but nothing came out. How long does it take for the semen to come out? (age 12)

You should have an orgasm within 5-10 minutes, but your body might not be ready to ejaculate yet.

While I'm at school and if I see a girl, I get hard, and I think about sex while I'm in class. Is there any way to stop this from happening? (age 12)

Castration would pretty much take care of those "problems." But you don't want that.

I get upset because when people masturbate, they say they feels good sensations by touching their body, especially the chest, abdomen, and nipples. I don’t feel anything.Why? Is there a special way to do it? (age 25)

You need to learn that sexual response can come from more than just the penis. When you're aroused, try feeling around your body -- arms, chest, neck, thighs -- and see if you can find places that feel more sensitive. Then work on those areas from time to time.

I have been masturbating since before puberty and I have TMS. When I masturbate, I feel very uncomfortable. So I do it prone for a while, and when I am ready to ejaculate, I flip over and to rub it with my pre-cum as lube, but when I rub the head, it tickles in an uncomfortable way. Even in the shower it does that. So I am afraid to have oral sex because I know I won't like it. Is this normal? (age 14)

TMS is never normal. You need to cut that out and learn to masturbate normally. Then you can get used to the sensations of touching your head, and eventually you'll be adjusted enough to have oral sex.

Can excessive masturbation cause your erection to be less firm than if the frequency was less? (age 30)

As a practical matter, yes. Erections and orgasms are apt to be more intense the longer the interval since the last one. But masturbation frequency has little long-term impact on erection strength.

Masturbating into something soft, like a pillow or a comforter, allows you to thrust, like you are having intercourse, which makes orgasms much more powerful. However, you have to have ultimate privacy for this, which is hard to find if you have shared living quarters (roommates). Personally, I think most males masturbate far more often than they will admit to. I took a sex ed class (coed) and only 80 per cent of the guys admitted, in a closed survey, they masturbated more than once a day! I think most of us, especialy at this age, masturbate at least twice a day, sometimes more, especially if you date someone and become aroused by necking, touching, etc. (age 18)

TMS gives you powerful orgasms, but you might not be able to have them with other people. 80 percent is a very high number. Is that a typo? I don't think 80 percent masturbate more than once a day. You claim to masturbate 8-10 times a week, which I say on my pages is about average.

Can you wear your penis out from masturbating the TMS way because it doesn't feel good when I orgasm anymore. I have never had sex. (age 16)

You're not wearing it out, but you're overstimulating certain nerves. Quitting TMS will restore the sensitivity.

I masturbate the regular way and only 1-2 times a day. I haven't had vaginal intercourse yet but have received oral sex 6 times. I have never lost an erection from the oral sex. Recently a girl was at my house and we were kissing on the couch. My erection was strong at first but when it came time to have intercourse my erection went down. Am I panicking too much or is it a problem from masturbation? This has happened more than once before. At first I thought maybe I just wasn't sexually attrated to her but my erection was coming on and off. What can I do to stop thinking about my unpredictable erections so I can finally perform? Do I have an oral fetish because I would rather get oral sex because of the fear my erection will turn off/on? I just need a way to get over this crazy anxiety. (age 17)

I think you're masturbating too much for someone trying to learn intercourse. I suggest you cut down to once a day and abstain from masturbating completely for 2-3 days before an expected encounter. Just relax and don't worry about having or losing an erection. I think once you've experienced coitus successfully you'll like it as much or better than oral sex.

When I masturbate I last about 10 minutes. When people have sex, they say they can last for more than an hour. Does that mean that I come too easily? (age 15)

10 minutes is good and healthy for your age. I think your only problem is you believe people who tell you they last for an hour during intercourse.

I used to masturbate very frequently, twice a day or more. As I've gotten older, I've cut down to once every 2 days. After not masturbating for 4 days to a week, I've noticed that I become much more confident and more sociable. My friend tried this too and it has worked for him. I might suggest this to guys who masturbate frequently and might feel somewhat unconfident or anxious in socializing, and I would also like your opinion on this. (age 15)

Most guys who masturbate at that rate when they're 13 or 14 cut back when they get to be 15 or 16. It might be cutting back is making you more sociable, or maybe you just think it is. Some of the most social guys your age masturbate a lot more than you do. There are also guys who will become more anxious as a result of not masturbating. Now that you're experienced at both masturbating and being sociable, you should be able to practice either without regard to when you've last done the other.

I'm turning 14 in a month. I tried masturbating today for about 10 minutes while looking at pictures. It felt pretty good, but I did not ejaculate or have an orgasm. I have never had a wet dream either. When I masturbated today, I felt really hot and sweated a lot. Is that normal?

That's very normal! You probably need to focus more. It will probably take more than 10 minutes your first time.

Is it true that you shouldn't masturbate 48 hours before an athletic event? (age 16)

I think that's a myth. Some of the best athletes do lots of sexual things before their games.

I just wanted to let everyone know how to have a wet dream. I do not guarantee it will be successful, but it has worked twice for me. When you are about to go to sleep, masturbate hard and fast but stop when you are about to orgasm. Go to sleep. Sometime in the night you SHOULD wake up cumming but be careful how you will explain it to your parents if you live at home. I think this site is great. Thank you. (age 14)

Thanks for the tip. I probably had 80 wet dreams when I was living with my parents and never had to explain. I think parents understand, if they notice at all.

How much better is sex than masturbation? (age 14)

That's a matter of taste. Physically, masturbation feels better because you have total control. The thing about intercourse that makes it more appealing is that you have a partner to interact with.

It is taking too much time for me to masturbate and I am not enjoying it that much. What should I do? (age 15)

You might masturbate less frequently. It wouldn't take as long then and you'd probably enjoy it more. Try to find the frequency that you can enjoy.

I like to masturbate every day, 3 times a day. Is that problem? (age 30)

It's very high for your age. That much masturbation is undoubtedly keeping you from meeting potential sex partners. Why not cut back to once a day?

How are wet dreams related to sex in dreams? Does one come with the other, and how can I have more dreams in which I have sex? (age 14)

Wet dreams are not generally sex dreams, but they sometimes are. And not very many sex dreams result in nocturnal emission. You might do some research on dreams to learn how to influence their content.

I can't achieve erection by masturbation alone. I need help from porn and therefore I only masturbate in a sitting position. Is this gonna cause damage later? (age 13)

I don't think so, but you should work at not being dependent on porn. That's always a bad thing, especially at your age. Try to find ways to use your imagination.

Hi, I'm Marc. What are the good and bad effects of ejaculation? (age 16)

Hi Marc. The good ones are that it's good for keeping your sexual organs in shape and it helps you relax and sleep better. Some people say it also helps take their mind off sex. I don't know of any bad ones. Of course, anything good is bad in excess.

When I don't masturbate, I feel my concentration improves, especially after 1 week of no outlet. But then after masturbation, I lose my concentration and feel tired. I regain again after a buildup of semen. (age 33)

Not everyone is the same. I think most guys find it hard to concentrate when they haven't ejaculated in days.

When I masturbate and reach orgasm it seems like I am going to ejaculate but nothing comes out. Afterward I can feel this clear liquid that's oily and sticky. What is my problem? (age 13)

You didn't masturbate long enough to ejaculate. What's coming out is pre-cum. Presumably, if you had kept masturbating for another few minutes and maintained the right focus, you would have ejaculated.

I've been masturbating for over a year now about every other day and whenever I do, I get a full erection in 30 seconds or less. I was wondering if this is normal, and if not, how can I get a more gradual erection? (age 15)

It's very normal. Most guys want one faster, not more slowly. Once you get into your 20s, erections will come more slowly.

I have been masturbating since age five. I didn't ejaculate then but now I do. Why is this? I masturbate on the side of my bed. I have tried to do it the normal way but I can't. Please help. I love your site. (age 14)

You need to try harder. You might consider joining the online support group. You couldn't ejaculate until recently because your body didn't produce the components of semen (the ones that need to be ejaculated) until you reached puberty.

When I masturbate, before I ejaculate, it seems like my muscles in my groin tighten up. It feels good. Is this normal? (age 13)

Yes, and with proper control of those muscles, you can control your ejaculation.

When I started masturbating at age 12, I found it easier to do with my forefinger and middle finger on the underside of my penis with the thumb on the top. As my penis grew, I tried normal masturbation, but I find that the old way feels better. Is there anything wrong with this? (age 18)

You don't say what you're doing with your fingers in "the old way," but stroking -- the normal way -- seems to produce guys who adjust to intercourse most easily.

When masturbating, after a while if I get excited enough, a strange tense feeling crawls up my back and I can hardly move. I enjoy it. It goes away and precum arrives. Is this normal? (age 13)

I don't think too many people have experienced exactly that, but it sounds like fun. Might work at relaxing those back muscles, since they'll come in handy when you have sex when you're older.

I have tried every style in the book and I'm getting sick and tired of old styles. (age 15)

Your problem might be your need for variety. Most guys only masturbate one way -- the same way -- and enjoy it day after day, year in, year out. Using pictures might be one way to enhance the experience.

What does "variety" mean when you said any other way could be bad? (age 12)

I said that person's wanting variety was his problem for that very reason. A desire for variety could lead someone to masturbate in unhealthy ways.

I masturbate once every 2 days and when I ejaculate it only lasts 15 seconds. I want it to last longer. Is there any way to make the feeling longer? (age 17)

You're ahead of the game. For most males, it only lasts 8 seconds. You can make it last a little longer or more intense by holding it for a second or so right before you ejaculate.

When I ejaculate, it doesn't fly out of my penis; it just dripples out. Is this a problem and could you give me a few tips to improve the situation? (age 15)

No, I think you'll improve with experience. It helps to hold the semen in for a second right before you ejaculate. Then when you let go and ejaculate, KABLOOEY! Muscular control is essential for this.

When I masturbate I focus mostly on the head of my penis and after a while it starts hurting like a friction burn. Why does this happen? (age 18)

It is a friction burn. It's a good idea to touch the head as little as necessary or to use lubrication if you insist on rubbing the head.

How long does it usually take to reach orgasm? Sometimes I lose focus and it might take 30 minutes. Is that normal? (age 14)

You should be able to masturbate to orgasm in 5-10 minutes, perhaps less. It's good you're aware of the impact of losing your focus. When you've gone 20 minutes, it might be better to quit and try again later.

I started masturbating when I was about twelve and on many occasions would masturbate without fantasizing. I used to frequently, but not always, masturbate in the prone postion. I feel I have also masturbated compulsively at times (and occasionally in semi-public places.) Recently I have only been able to achieve a semi-erection although I have no problem reaching an orgasm. As you can imagine, this is extremely alarming and is causing me stress and a lack of confidence with girls. I now do not do it prone (thank you for the advice) and only masturbate three or four times a week. (age 17)

That's bad for your age. I think your problem stems from when you were masturbating prone and taught yourself to masturbate without an erection. You should make a point of only masturbating when you have a SERIOUS erection. If you did that for a couple of months, I think you would have retaught yourself not to try to have orgasms without an erection. Good luck.

I am very happy to say that your website has been giving good advice regarding masturbating. I masturbate before I go to sleep at night. As soon as I ejaculate I get very tired and I go to sleep and clean the mess in the morning. Can I continue doing this or should I stop? (age 17)

I don't see anything wrong with that.

When I masturbate I sit and slightly stretch my legs and squeeze my penis head and rub all of my penis. It only takes me 5-10 minutes to ejaculate and it only lasts for approximately 4-5 seconds. Is this normal? Maybe I'm scared to be caught masturbating. Usually I masturbate 3 times a week while my brother is sleeping. I'm scared that I wont last during intercourse because of my erection. (age 16)

You should only masturbate when you have an erection. Why not discuss masturbation with your brother? He probably does it too and would be relieved that you brought it up. Then you wouldn't have to be so afraid of getting caught.

My wife disagreed with me when I told her I produced more semen and with more force from the first time I started masturbating at age 11 to about 18. It does get less with age. Please tell her I'm right. Tom (age 35)

Tom, I'm not so sure you are right. The amount of semen ejaculated is more a function of the time since your last ejaculation than your age. And I think the force would be greater as you got more experienced and learned to control it better. Maybe doing some Kegel exercises would be the thing to bring your force back to what it used to be. May the force be with you!

For lubrication, is it OK to use spit, phlegm (like when your sick), and shampoo? Is it OK to simulate a vagina with something, and what could you use? (age 13)

Spit is a common lube for both experienced men and newcomers like you. I've never heard of phlegm as a lube, but what the hey? Shampoo is only a good lube if you can wash it off right away. I advise against simulating a vagina.

I have been masturbating for several years. I always let my ejacuate drip onto a piece of napkin or the bathroom floor. But hearing that some people rub it on their skin or leave it on the bed, I am curious, does semen leave a strong smell or stains? Do I have to clean up all the time? (age 14)

Yes. If you get it on your sheets, the person who launders them is apt to notice.

Is there such a thing as ejaculating too early? (age 15)

In life, no. In a sexual session, yes. When that happens, it's called premature ejaculation. The males who suffer from that need to work on making themselves last longer.

I masturbate 1 to 3 times a day, usually in the bathroom and sometimes in bed when my parents are gone. I enjoy masturbating but I want to have a more intense orgasm and do it safely. (age 13)

Masturbating more than once a day will almost guarantee a lack of intensity in orgasm. Try cutting back a little and you'll probably enjoy it more. You also need to worry less about your parents finding out. They almost certainly masturbate themselves and would probably be more worried if they found out you didn't masturbate than if they found out you did.

Does your first ejaculation mean you are done with puberty or are just starting? (age 16)

For most guys it probably comes closer to the start of puberty than the end; most guys are ejaculating before they need to shave, but there are also guys who are shaving for years before they ejaculate.

What is the definition of a male multiple orgasm? I masturbate at the high end of the scale at around 14 times a week. I've heard that most guys lose their erections after achieving orgasm but I stay hard and within two minutes, I can masturbate again. Is this weird in any way. By the way I love your site! (age 15)

Male multiple orgasm and female ejaculation are two hotly debated topics in sexual science. What you describe is not multiple orgasm and is not at all weird. Males have a refractory period after ejaculating during which they cannot have an erection. At your age, a refractory period of two minutes is not a bit rare. For men in their 20s, a refractory period of 20-30 minutes is typical. For men in their 80s, it might last days. True multiple orgasm would be when a male has an orgasm but does not ejaculate or lose his erection and keeps having intercourse or masturbating until he has one or more additional orgasms and then ejaculates.

According to my religion, masturbation is a sin, and I have never practiced it. I recently started it but I didn't ejaculate after doing it for 40 minutes. After that my genitals swelled and didn't get back in shape for 4-5 hours. Non-ejaculation worries me but I get wet dreams.and please tell me if the swelling is normal. (age 20)

You do practice masturbation. You just don't finish. The swelling isn't normal, but it's to be expected based on what you're doing. Either quit masturbating altogether or start finishing.

Do you lose sperm if you masturbate? (age 13)

Yes, that's the point. The sperm and semen come shooting out in a series of glorious contractions of the prostate gland. (But new sperm is constantly created to replace that sperm.)

Hi I am 13 1/2. I masturbated for the first time when I was 12. I have never had a wet dream but want to see how they are. Is there any way I can try to get one? Thanks and I love your site. It really helped me get deeper into masturbating.

I doubt you'll ever have a wet dream. Trying to bring one on is apt to be pointless. Just enjoy what you're doing now. It looks like you already are.

What is the average refractory period for 15-16 year olds? Mine is about 15 minutes. Is this because of low sex drive? I think I have multiple orgasms because sometimes (it's really hard to do though) I can have intense feelings like at orgasm a couple times before I ejaculate. Is it possible to have multiple orgasms but a long refractory period, and is there a way to decrease the refractory period? (age 16)

15 minutes isn't bad. Many guys your age have to wait a half hour or more. I doubt your sex drive is low or would have anything to do with it. I think it's possible to have a 15 minute refractory period even if you're multiorgasmic. I don't know how to decrease the refractory period. Give your body the rest it needs.

I started masturbating at about 12. I masturbate three ways 1) normal 2) face down 3) squeezing my penis with my hand on the outside of my pants while I am really erect. My question is, is it normal for my penis to be a bit flat from top to bottom and curve down when erect? Does this have anything to do with masturbation? (age 16)

It sounds a bit abnormal and could be caused by your atypical masturbation. Since you know how to masturbate normally, why not quit the other two ways?

I think your site is really great and it can really help teens like me get through these difficult years and be more comfortable with our bodies. I know it's helped me. Is it a bad idea to masturbate just by rubbing the head? Will it make it feel less pleasure? If so, will it be permanent or if I started doing it differently now, could it regain some sensitivity? (age 16)

The head is the most sensitive part, and doesn't need as much stimulation. In fact, overstimulating it makes it less sensitive for when you really need it. Ideally, you would concentrate on the less sensitive shaft, and touch the head only slightly (as little as necessary). The danger in getting habituated to having the head stimulated is that it doesn't get quite as much stimulation in intercourse as the shaft does. I think if you changed to working primarily on the shaft, you would have a return of sensitivity to the head. Why not give it a try?

When I masturbate sitting in a chair I usually ejaculate a little bit of semen, but when I masturbate in bed I don't ejaculate! What's the problem? (age 13)

I think you just need more practice.

What are we supposed to do with our unused hand during masturbation? I often switch hands and am able to reach orgasm with my left hand. I normally grab or tug the sheet or cover or pull on my pillow. Is it normal to want to be noisy during masturbation? I often feel the need to shout or groan from sheer pleasure. I greatly appreciate your site and what you do for teens. (age 15)

I think most guys hold the pictures or the mouse with their other hand. Both males and females often feel the need to vocalize upon orgasm.

I did a test of what makes you orgasm faster, dry masturbating or lubed masturbating, and lubed masturbating makes me orgasm faster. Does this happen with all males? If so, why? (age 13)

Probably most males reach orgasm faster with lube. This is because there is less friction and it is more comfortable when using lube. On the other hand, sometimes dry masturbating causes you to get stimulated faster even though there might be some chafing. It's good that you've taken a scientific approach, but you might want to take into consideration that you came faster because lube was something new to you.

Sometimes when I'm masturbating and even when I'm not I find that I have some semen that has come out. When this happens I sometimes don't even have an erection. What's going on? (age 18)

It's probably not semen but pre-cum, which can leak out whenever you're aroused. Usually after you have been aroused for a while.

Every time I masturbate, I moan really loudly. I'm fighting it but failing. I am afraid my mom would hear it sometime. It is really embarrassing just having that thought on my mind. How can I stop moaning? (age 19)

You might muffle it with a pillow. I bet your mother would understand.

I've been masturbating since I was 11. I'm 16 now but it takes me around 20 minutes to reach orgasm. I don't have TMS and am constantly thinking about my girlfriend when I masturbate. When I do reach a orgasm after about 20 minutes I have a tendency to contract the muscles in my penis that are used for urinating. Is this a bad thing?

It's good that you can last 20 minutes, but it shouldn't take you that long every time. Perhaps you could develop some other erotic fantasies besides your girlfriend? Contracting those muscles is not bad, but it shouldn't become a reflex with every ejaculation. I think you'll be fine.

How long does it usually take to climax? When I have pictures, it takes me 2 or 3 minutes, but when I don't, it takes me 10 minutes. Is this normal? (age 14)

Yes, those times are normal. You might try to last longer with the pictures.

Why is it that when I orgasm, it only oozes out. It doesn't squirt or shoot out. Is that normal? How can I get it to squirt? (age 16)

Lots of guys ooze, and they're OK. You can make it squirt a little better by holding it in for just a second with the same muscle you use to control the flow of urine. Hold it just before you ejaculate, and this will cause some more pressure to build up, and it will shoot more effectively when you let go.

I'm a 16 year old male and I recently found out that I can orgasm 4-5 times in one night. It takes longer after the first time. Is this normal that I can do this and what will my female partner think when I find one? I hope that I'm not weird or anything.

It is normal for it to take longer and for there to be less ejaculate each time. It's OK if you want to have intercourse that many times, but some females don't like to have sex that much in one night. If you find one that does, don't let your friends know! (But then a gentleman wouldn't talk anyway.)

I masturbate once a day sometimes two. I really want to stop. I am willing to jack off once a month to keep my semen fresh. How can I stop? I masturbate on camera because I get turned on a lot more. (age 13)

I don't think you should stop. Once a month isn't very much. You might try cutting down to once a week and see how that goes. If that gets too hard to handle, you can take comfort in knowing that most guys your age masturbate once or twice a day. The cam thing is definitely a loser. That could get you into big trouble. Nothing is ever completely erased from your computer, you know.

When I look at naked pictures, I sometimes urinate. Is this normal? (age 12)

I don't think you've quite learned the difference between sexual feeling and the urge to urinate. It helps to empty your bladder before masturbating.

How many times is considered too many times in a day for masturbation? (age 15)

When it starts to hurt. Most guys are satisfied with once or twice.

I recently started masturbating after reading about its health benefits, and I am 17. With all the people talking about masturbating since they were 13, I am eager to know whether I have been lagging behind.

Don't worry about that. I only started at 15 3/4, but have made up for lost time. Another way to think about it is that those guys who started at 9 or 10 are frequently already bored with masturbation and you have a lot of new and exciting things to discover.

Does a girl get more pleasure from her orgasms than a guy does from his? This is a question I've been pondering for a while. Whenever I see movies with sex it it, it always seems that the girl is much more into her orgasm. But men seem to much more into sex then women. So what is your opinion on this? (age 14)

I have to believe that the male orgasm is on balance stronger. But many women, especially those who have learned what they enjoy through masturbating, have very intense orgasms. While normal males have orgasms 100 percent of the time during sex, many women have orgasms less than half the time but still rate the experience as high on a 1-10 scale as a man. You shouldn't base your sexual opinions on movies. They are fake. I also think women are more obsessed with sex than men. If you look at women's magazines and TV programs designed for women and overhear women's private conversations, sex is much more prominent than in the parallels for men. Even Playboy only has a few pages about sex (plus some tantalizing pictures). Women's magazines scream very explicit sexual things on their covers.

I am 58 years old and gay. Many times guys want me to penetrate them, but I cannot get erect enough to even put the condom on, let alone penetrate them. Would it help if I decreased my frequency of masturbation and looking at web sites? I masturbate at least once per day.

Probably. It would be worth a try, at least. Might abstain from masturbating 3-4 days before an expected sexual encounter.

Would inserting the penis into a pillow be considered TMS? For a long time, I have been cutting a hole in a pillow and inserting my penis and thrusting. (age 23)

What you describe is a simulacrum. Thrusting into a simulacrum is TMS, just as thrusting into a pillow without a hole would be.

I stopped having sex and haven't masturbated for 2 weeks and can't have a wet dream. Is this normal? (age 22)

Unfortunately, yes. Trying to bring on a wet dream at your age is a waste of time. Your body is used to the stimulation it gets from masturbation and intercourse.

I would like to know if masturbating on a regular basis (twice a day, 5-6 days a week) desensitizes your penis in some way. I've been masturbating since I was 13, and I can't achive an orgasm from oral sex. I figured that maybe masturbation was to blame. (age 31)

The penis is naturally less sensitive the more recently it's been that you've had an orgasm and gets more sensitive as the interval gets longer. You should abstain from orgasm for 3-4 days before trying something new. Why not give that a try in advance of your next opportunity for oral sex?

Sometimes when I masturbate, I use the stop and go method, which means I will masturbate for a while and stop when I feel I am about to ejaculate. When I reach orgasm, what causes me to shout out loud or scream? Is this normal for masturbating? (age 31)

Yes, and it's also normal for those who use the "don't stop and go straight through" method.

AT WHAT AGE SHOULD YOU STOP MASTURBATING. I still do and have all my life and I still enjoy it. (age 89)

I don't think you need to ever stop.

You said applying pressure to the penis is TMS, right? Is humping a type of TMS, because sometimes it helps me arouse myself. (age 13)

No, applying pressure to the penis (yourself) for sexual pleasure is masturbating. TMS is masturbating in the prone position by thrusting into or against something. Humping is a form of TMS. You shouldn't have to hump to get aroused at your age.

Is it OK to rub a pillow against my penis while lying on my back? (age 13)

It's very close to TMS. I think you should learn to use your hands.

I have developed a habit during masturbation of rhythmically contracting my PC muscles. I have found I am unable to masturbate by just stroking my penis. I must contract those muscles. Will this become a problem during sexual intercourse? (age 16)

Yes, and also during masturbation sooner or later. You've developed a habit, and now you need to break it. Squeezing the PC muscle at the right moment can be useful in delaying ejaculation, but doing it frequently during the experience will not do any good.

When I masturbate, why does I feel I like I need to urinate? (age 15)

That's normal. It's a good idea to urinate before you masturbate. You might also feel like it afterward. That's also normal. Urinating after ejaculating flushes unejaculated semen out of the urethra.

What is TMS and how can males catch it? What are the symptoms and the side effects of TMS? There was a time when I masturbated face down and rubbed my penis with things about 4 times. Can I catch TMS because of just doing this? (age 15)

TMS is masturbating in the prone (face down) position. You don't catch it; you develop it. Eventually you're apt to have trouble erecting and delay in ejaculating. You might not be able to have intercourse successfully. If you only masturbated prone four times, I doubt you have TMS. But yes, doing that habitually will give you TMS. It's easy to be cured at your age.

Is there anyway to make masturbation last longer besides stopping for a few seconds before orgasm? (age 13)

Yes. By controlling what's in your mind, you can keep stroking but these strokes will not lead inevitably toward orgasm. The old joke about guys extending their time by thinking about the batting order of their favorite baseball team is really true. When you've had enough masturbating and are ready to orgasm, then you can start thinking about what really leads you in that direction.

How long does an orgasm take? I watched a movie and a guy in it was telling his friends that his longest period of sex lasted for 14 hours and he had an orgasm for 2 hours without any break. (age 13)

An orgasm lasts 8-10 seconds. Did the guy in the movie say how big the biggest fish he caught was?

I'm a 16 year old guy and everything I've read says that I should have had at least one wet dream by now. But as far as I know I haven't! I thought you wake up after having a wet dream. Is this true? Then I have never had a wet dream. Is this normal?

Only about 60 percent of adult males have had wet dreams. The rest started masturbating before they could ever have one. If you had a wet dream, you would know. Even if you didn't wake up right away, the semen would be around as evidence when you finally woke up.

I get an erection about five times during the day. But I'm not even thinking about anything sexual. I will be in class or something and I will get an erection. How do I stop this? Will masturbation help? (age 14)

That's very normal. You'll miss those spontaneous erections a lot when you're older. I don't know that masturbation will make any difference, except that someone who doesn't masturbate at all might get one or two more a day than someone who does.

I haven't had a wet dream but I don't know if I can masturbate to orgasm if I haven't had a wet dream, so can I? (age 13)

Yes, you can. About 40 percent of males masturbate before having a wet dream, and so they never have one. You're at the age where you can decide to experience a wet dream by not masturbating until after you've had one. Older guys don't get to make this choice, because once they get into the habit of masturbating, they're apt to never have a wet dream again.

Before I masturbate, I always tell myself that I will do it twice, but after the first time, I'm out of the mood. Is there any way I can do it again without going out of the mood? What is an average number of times for someone my age to masturbate? (age 15)

The reason you can't do it again is because you're satisfied. You can do it again in half an hour, perhaps sooner. Most guys your age who aren't having sexual intercourse masturbate at least once a day.

I've been masturbating regularly since age 14, usually once or twice a day. I was able to perform both in sex and I could keep an erection when receiving oral sex. Over the past 6 months, I've noticed a severe decrease in my sexual performance, but only when wearing a condom. I've tried all the brands/materials/sizes/textures already. I just can't seem to keep an erection with a condom on; even when I'm totally horny and focused, I get soft and small within 5-10 minutes and no matter what I do, I can't get it back up again. One time when I had this problem, I took the condom off and continued raw and I was able to keep it up and get an orgasm. This problem is really embarrassing. The only thing I've noticed that I've done differently in the past year is masturbate by rubbing the underside of my penis back and forth on my right thigh. It feels really good compared to the standard jerk motion. Also, I've been masturbating over the past few years without lube. I usually just grip the thing and start jerking it. Could this be killing some of my nerves or what? (age 19)

Your atypical masturbation is the likely cause of your problem. TMS and other non-standard masturbation methods desensitize your penile nerves. You need to cut that out and go back to "the standard jerk motion." It would also be a good idea to abstain from masturbating for 2-3 days before an expected sexual encounter. You don't have to use lube, but try to use as little force as necessary.

Follow-up: I have started to masturbate normally again, and have loosened my grip. I've found I can achieve an orgasm this way, which is good. However, I tend to get my stiffest, strongest erections only by looking at movies or pictures. I can get it up only fantasizing, but it takes longer. Is this natural? Since I've been damaging my penile nerves for the last year or so with TMS, what, besides "normal, healthy" masturbation, can I do to recover the sensitivity of my nerves? Did I permanently damage myself? How long do you think would it take for me to recover from my condition and enjoy sex again? By the way, your web site is the only one so far giving me useful information regarding my problem, and I appreciate your help! When I recover, let's have a beer? (age 19)

I'm sure you'll be cured in a matter of weeks, well before you can have beer. It's normal to reach orgasm more easily with visual aids. I only suggest to guys that they masturbate at least once or twice a month using only fantasy in order to keep this method alive for them. I don't think you've done any permanent damage to your nerves or anything. The process of abstaining and quitting TMS is all you need to do to recover.

Is it normal to masturbate 3 to 4 times a day? (age 18)

That's quite high for any age. You might cut back and spend more time trying to meet a partner.

I've read through most of your questions and answers, but I didn't find the weekly whacking off limit? (age 15)

I don't think there is one. Most guys your age do it 8-10 times a week, but some do it much more often.

I started masturbating a few years ago, and my first ejaculation was the best one I ever had. All the ones since then have been great but not as good. Is there any way I could get my ejaculations to give me a better feeling? (age 14)

If they're all great, I think you're doing pretty well. You've obviously gained greater ejaculatory control with practice. I think you might be remembering that first one too fondly. You might try holding it for just a second before you ejaculate to let the pressure build.

How can I masturbate longer? I usually ejaculate after just 5 minutes. Is there any way I can extend my pleasure? (age 14)

When you feel you're about to reach orgasm, try to think of something to distract you for just a minute. Then you'll be up to six minutes, and next you can try for seven, and so on. Even if you don't try this method, I think you'll be taking longer soon as you get more experienced.

Tonight I was getting a bunch of images and stuff when I masturbated. I was really relaxed and had lotion. As soon as I started, I felt it coming, and within 10 seconds I ejaculated, with all of the regular aftereffects. This has never happened before. Is this an effect of masturbating too much or premature ejaculation? Thank you SO much for this AWESOME website!!! (age 14)

If it only happened once, it's probably nothing to worry about. It's better if you can last longer, so when you felt it coming, you should have tried to delay. If you're masturbating too much, I think it would take you longer and not shorter to come. Just about every guy has had an experience where he was really excited when he started masturbating and came very quickly. You shouldn't worry.

Sometimes touching the tip during masturbation actually helps stimulate me. Is that normal? (age 21)

The tip is extra sensitive, which is why most guys avoid touching it. It is apt to be painful if you touch it too much.

I used to masturbate in the prone position until I noticed I wasn't getting full erections, so I looked on the Internet and found out masturbating in this postition was incorrect and caused damage, so I stopped. I found it relatively easy to stop and have been masturbating in the correct way ever since (around 1-2 years ago) but my erections are the same. Do sufferers of TMS recover fully? I have no problems with ejaculation or orgasms. Also, around 2 years ago I got a hard spot on the underside of my foreskin and shortly afterward, a band of hard, white skin appeared. I have no problem pulling the foreskin over the head of my penis but it becomes tight although I can get it most of the way down. The white spot is almost completely gone now but the band of white skin still remains. Will it ever go away and is there anything that can be done for it, either by myself or by seeing a doctor? (age 15)

It's good that you quit TMS. It's easier to quit the younger you are. Your erections are probably pretty normal by now. They might not seem like it to you. You might try abstaining for 3-4 days and see if they get harder. The time since your last orgasm can make a difference. I don't know about the white spot you describe. It would be a good idea to show your doctor.

I'd like to say you have a very informative site. I'm 15 years and 10 months old, and I don't masturbate. I do notice now and then a yellow stain in my underwear. Could this be the built-up prostate fluid ejaculating while I sleep, and if it is, is it OK not to masturbate? I also don't think that I've fully matured yet. Could this mean I'm simply maturing quite a bit later than most people and should expect masturbation to follow before long?

Yes, the yellow stain is the result of wet dreams. Most males are aware when they're having them. Very, very few males wait for masturbation "to follow," and instead make a conscious effort to masturbate as soon as they figure out (or are told) how to. It's OK to not masturbate, but it's better for your body if you ejaculate frequently. New research shows that males who masturbate 5 times a week or more when they're young have a greatly reduced chance of prostate cancer when they're older.

If you have a female partner that wants to have sex every day (I seriously doubt there is one though) and assuming you have sex every day too, would it stop the desire for masturbation? (age 14)

I seriously doubt it too! Theoretically, someone who had sex every day would never want to masturbate, but surveys show that people who have sex the most also masturbate quite frequently. As a practical matter, even a partner who wants sex every day will occasionally be sick or tired or away or menstruating. Many men masturbate when their partners are unavailable for sex under these circumstances.

I've heard from my friend that the sensation of masturbating while wearing a condom is good. I've tried it and enjoy it. I masturbate with a condom on more than I masturbate without it. Is this okay? (age 20)

I think so.

Is baby oil a good lube? (age 15)

It's OK for masturbating, but it would be better to get used to a water-based lube now since you can't use an oil-based lube when with a partner, because oil degrades condoms.

I´ve read your page, and I think I masturbate compulsively. What can I do about it? Also, how can I get back my penis sensitivity due to doing a lot of masturbation? (age 27)

If you think you're compulsive, you need to cut back on your masturbation. The abstinence program on the main page is designed to help TMS guys regain their penile sensitivity, and it will work for anyone else too.

I masturbate regularly but now I've started bodybuilding. Can they go together? (age 22)

Yes, very well.

I saw a movie were a guy had a very intense orgasm by the girl putting her finger up his anus. Is this possible? If so how and why? (age 27)

You shouldn't believe everything you see in porn, but it's possible to have a very intense orgasm through massage of the prostate gland through the rectum. The person performing the massage needs to know what they are doing. It's more of a "reflex orgasm" and doesn't include all of the build-up that one normally has before an orgasm.

I have been masturbating from the middle of grade 9. I have masturbated several thousand times. Every time I have masturbated, I got used to doing with my hand. I now found out that it is the correct way to do it. I read on your site that using the force of your hand during orgasm is wrong. I use my hand to make sure that the sperm does not mess out. Will I get TMS? (age 17)

No. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. The problem is when guys use force to keep the semen from coming out, usually by putting pressure on the perineum. You're doing fine. Keep up the good work.

I only masturbate by lying on my back on my bed and squeezing my penis in between my thighs. Is this an OK way to masturbate or will it cause problems? (age 18)

It will definitely cause problems. Your penis isn't supposed to point that direction when it's erect, and the feeling you produce can't be replicated in intercourse.

I masturbate once or twice a week yet I can't ejaculate while doing it. The only times I can ejaculate is during my sleep. Am I doing something wrong or has my body just not fully developed enough to be able to ejaculate? (age 16)

Obviously you're able to ejaculate, because you have wet dreams. Many males who have never had a wet dream envy you. If you learn to masturbate to orgasm, you will probably never have another one. The thing you need to do is focus on a particular fantasy that arouses you -- most guys say that pictures help -- and stroke with increasing intensity as you get closer to ejaculating.

Is gripping your penis with your thumb in the back and your index & middle fingers to the front, making a v-shape and rubbing up and down the front of your dick, a harmful way to masturbate? I can almost ejaculate the normal way, but it only works until I get a full erection, and no further. Also, I have had a fetish since early childhood. Whenever I see a hot female's spine show through her back, I am sexually aroused. Even the sight of a woman/girl with a naked back can give me an erection. I don't like the sight of a bony back at all; grosses me out like it would anyone else. But, when a hot girl of athletic physique is showing off the small of her back and spine, I get very horny. Usually I fantasize that I'm rubbing my penis up and down a slightly curved spine, or massaging a women's lower back. On the Internet, I have a very hard time searching for a back/spine fetish, and I question whether it even exists as I rarely suitable pics that stimulate my fetish. Is this kind of partialism normal at all? It can't be much stranger than other fetishes. (age 16)

I don't know that the way you describe is harmful in itself, but it isn't good that you can't masturbate the normal way. I would cut back on your method until you can do it to orgasm normally. I don't see anything wrong with your fetish, but if it's the only thing that turns you on, then it's a problem. Not all women would be understanding if you told them what you'd like to do to them sexually.

I started getting erections at age 11 and started masturbation at age 12 and have enjoyed it every time. Does masturbation have more effect during an erection or without and was it good for me to get erections at that age? (age 13)

You should only masturbate when you have an erection. That's how you want your body to respond. Erections are good at any age.

I have been masturbating for a long time now and for some time I have been doing it wrong. Can this cause the tip of my penis to not fill up with blood? When I get an erection it seems like the head is still limp. (age 19)

First you need to stop doing it wrong. Then you are apt to notice an improvement in your penile blood flow.

I have been masturbating since I was 11 or 12. It has became a habit and I want to stop but I can't. I get very anxious and scared when I'm about to have sex. This is because I know I am going to come fast and have done in the past. I believe this is from masturbating too much. I try to stop but end up doing it again. Is there any truth to what I'm saying or is it all in my head? (age 19)

It's the opposite. You're less likely to have premature ejaculation if you masturbate frequently. Next time, try masturbating 3-4 hours before you attempt intercourse and see if it makes a difference. You should enjoy your masturbation habit and not try to stop. Not very many men have succeeded.

I masturbate a fair bit, since I was about 11, but I have never had a wet dream. Is this something to worry about? (age 16)

No. Most males have never had a wet dream. Most, like you, start masturbating before they can ever have one.

When you have a sex, how long does it take to have a second round? (age 25)

The refractory period is apt to be half an hour to an hour at your age.

Is it unhealthy to masturbate by squeezing my penis between my thighs? I have never had sex with a partner. I have never lasted over a minute. (age 18)

That is bad. Masturbating between your thighs is not only atypical, but it also bends your erection to an unnatural and damaging position. You need to learn to masturbate normally, and I think you will gain greater control over your ejaculation so it will take more than a minute.

I read in so many books that it is OK to masturbate, but not excessively. What can happen if you do it excessively? (age 15)

Excessive is kind of normal at your age. When you get to the point where you're having intercourse, if you're masturbating too often, it will make it difficult for you to perform in a satisfactory manner with your partner.

I congratulate you. You've put together an informative site that provides information not otherwise readily obtainable. I have always had problems with sexual intercourse. I was tested by a urologist who said I had less than normal sensitivity. But until reading your site, I did not know it was from TMS, which was the initial form of masturbation I practiced. I later discovered the "normal" hand method and eventually lost interest in TMS, but it seems not soon enough. (age 67)

Thank you for your comments. If you had discovered normal masturbation before you had started having intercourse, I think the legacy of TMS might not have stayed with you long.

You mentioned how a man should only masturbate when he gets an erection, because that's how your body wants to respond. This is my first week of school, and with all the hot frosh chicks this year as well as the usual pretty faces, I've gotten stiff once or twice. How should I respond to erections that happen at inopportune moments? Whacking off in the school bathroom? Usually my erections at school end in a few minutes. Does this mean that I should masturbate as soon as I get home regardless of erection in order to make up for the "incomplete" erections at school? B.T.W., your site's awesome! (age 16)

I said a male should masturbate only when he has an erection, not that he should masturbate whenever he has an erection. Using the school bathroom for such business is not a good idea, but I suspect that on any school day, more than a few of your classmates are masturbating as soon as they get home.

I learned to masturbate normally, starting at around 15. However, I've always had a body pillow which I would hug and put one leg over and inevitably rub my penis against at night. I would basically pretend it was a girl. I was never able to achieve orgasm with the pillow, no matter how hard I tried, until recently. I always thought this more closely resembled real sex, so I thought it was preferable to do it this way. Then i saw your site. Is this rubbing of the penis against the body pillow also TMS? I can still masturbate normally, so does that mean it has not had as bad an affect on me? (age 25)

Yes, humping a body pillow is TMS. It's good that you aren't habituated to masturbating with it. I think you'll be OK if you just give that up for good.

Is rubbing the head of the penis with the thumb pathological? You've stated on the web site that it probably is, but is there any other place that says that also? (age 25)

I don't know how pathological, or what other sites say, but it gives you more stimulation than you need. The secret to masturbating is to use as little force as necessary to produce orgasm.

I masturbate on my bed face down and usually fall asleep after that. Is that the wrong way? Will I ever have kids? (age 18)

That's the way known as TMS on this site. You should unlearn that way of masturbating. Your fertility isn't directly threatened, but guys who masturbate with their hands have an easier time having sex with women and getting them pregnant.

I've heard that an orgasm can be induced by stimulating the prostate, and that it's much less work than masturbating. Is this true? How is it possible? (age 16)

Not an orgasm, but mere ejaculation can be triggered that way. As I've said many times, ejaculation without orgasm is not that much fun. This method is mostly used by doctors when confronted with a patient having prostate trouble who hasn't ejaculated in a while. It isn't practical as a method of masturbating, and masturbating by hand is a lot more fun.

You advocate masturbation as NATURAL thing for males to do. You claim that the negative reputation given to masturbating is just a result of years of cultural influence. But it is also NATURAL to feel shameful about it or disscussing it in public. The first time I masturbated, I did not even know what it was and I was never told anything negative about it but I felt awful afterward. The same argument goes for those who advocate nudity for its naturalness. Why do humans feel naturally ashamed of their nakedness or shall we say, naturally develop over history a shamefulness? Surely that was natural. (age 20)

Ah, but I don't say guilt about masturbation is solely the result of cultural influence. I say that it is inbred into people to get them to find a partner so the species can live. One benefit of guilt over nudity is that it leads people to share their bodies only with their intimate partners.

How can you make your ejaculation stronger and go farther? (age 16)

Hold it in for a just a second right before you ejaculate and the pressure that builds up will make it stronger and shoot farther.

It takes me 40+ minutes to reach orgasm. Is that a problem? I have no distractions. (age 13)

No. I think you're learning.

When I masturbate, I have to stretch my legs out and force the muscles out of my thighs to have an orgasm. Is this normal? (age 15)

No, but a lot of guys do it, especially those recovering from Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome (TMS). You're better off if you can teach yourself not to do that. Some guys say it's easier if you place your feet together sole to sole.

I read your Young Man's Guide. It was really good, but I am confused where it told how to masturbate. Do you move your fist up and down? Or are you supposed to move your penis? I'm not sure but I think it said to stroke it in an up and down fashion. Did it mean to stroke the penis with your fist or your other hand? Also, could you recommend some lubricants? Thanks a lot! Your website rocks! I'd be lost without it!

I meant to move your fist. I don't recommend any specific brands, but a water-based lube like K-Y Liquid or Astroglide is best.

After I ejaculate, I keep masturbating and this yellow liquid comes out in a great burst after a while. Is this normal? (age 16)

No. You're supposed to want to stop when you ejaculate. The yellow liquid might be urine that's leaking as a result of your overdoing it.

I'm 12 years old and I've been masturbating for almost two years. When can I expect to ejaculate? Sometimes you tell guys that they won't do it until they're about 13 but other times you say it's not a problem until they're 15. I really couldn't talk to my parents about this. I don't think they'd understand. And I don't think I could look at them the same if they knew I masturbate. Sometimes I look at muscular men modeling tight underwear without their shirts on and while I