Many older questions from readers have been moved to one of these topic pages:
- Penis and anatomy
- Sexual response & puberty
- Fantasies, fetishes & unusual practices
- Sexual problems, aches & pains
- Sex with partners
When does a normal healthy male start to have erections? And how long (shortest time) does it take for a normal healthy male 19 year old to go from zero excitation to orgasm?
Babies have been born with erections. Most males have erections from infancy, but these are not the kind you're thinking of. Prepubescent erections tend to be soft; one would have an extremely difficult time having intercourse with such an erection. Most males get their first serious erections at about the age of 12. From puberty to about age 20, most males have an erection about every 90 minutes to 2 hours, which last about 20 minutes each.
At age 19, many men can go from equilibrium (the state of not being aroused) to orgasm in less than two minutes. The average at that age is about 5 minutes. At any age, the smart men (who make the best lovers) try to make themselves last longer. A 19-year-old who can last 10 minutes is ahead of the game.
I'm 13 and I enjoy masturbating. I have a clear liguid that comes out before I ejaculate. what is that?
That's bulbourethral fluid, produced by the Cowper's (or bulbourethral) gland. Many guys call it "pre-cum." Its purpose is to neutralize any traces of urine that might still be in the urethra before ejaculation.
I'm 13 and I have been masturbating for a few months now, but I have never produced any semen. Is that normal?
Yes. Most guys start producing semen when they're about your age. Just wait a few more months. I don't think you have anything to worry about.
I'm 11 and I'm going through puberty and today I read your whole site and it's good. I haven't masturbated yet and I heard it's fun. I have one question. What should I do to get an erection? I've tried a couple things but they don't seem to work. Thanks.
I wouldn't try so hard to have an erection at your age. Erections will come in time and so will masturbation. You don't have to have an erection to masturbate, but I think you'll be better off in the long run if you hold off on masturbating until you can do it with a real erection. If you're already in puberty, it will probably be only a matter of weeks or months. Good luck.
What is the most effective way of masturbating and have the most pleasure? I sometimes use soap and water in the shower, but I don't feel the same orgasm I normally do. I masturbate only one to three times a week. (Age 17)
I think most guys would say they enjoy masturbating the most when they can lie down and relax afterward. The survey I recently conducted for this site found that guys did more masturbating in the bathroom, but I suspect that this is due to time or privacy constraints and not necessarily because it was more enjoyable. If you're using soap, be sure to wash it all off.
I'm 15 and I have been masturbating for 3 years and I have never had any semen come out.
That's bad. It would help if I had some more information, especially if you have wet dreams. If you're having wet dreams, then the only thing I can suggest is try to relax and concentrate on something that increases your arousal as you masturbate. If you're not ejaculating at all, then I think you need medical help. Good luck.
I'm 13 and sometimes my semen is white and sometimes it is clear. Why is that? I heard masturbation shrinks your penis. Is that true?
No, it's not true at all. Your semen might be clear because at your age you might not be producing all the components of semen yet. Or maybe you're noticing the "pre-cum" (bulbourethral fluid) that comes out first. And semen that comes out turns clear in less than a minute of being exposed to the air. You can time it!
Sometimes when i ejaculate there is a trace of a yellowish thick liquid mixed with my sperm. Is this normal? I'm 14.
Yes, that's prostate fluid. It's more likely to be thick and yellowish if you haven't ejaculated in a few days. That property of built-up prostate fluid is one of the reasons it's necessary for guys to ejaculate frequently. When prostate fluid gets old, it's not a medium that sperm can live in easily. So a guy who masturbates every few days keeps his semen fresh and healthy enough to fertilize a woman. You can learn more in the book Human Sperm Competition: Copulation, Masturbation, and Infidelity by R. Robin Baker and Mark A. Bellis. (Your junior high library probably doesn't have it.)
Hi, this weird thing just happened to me. I was watching a video with a sex scene then after I had an orgasm and I ejaculated but it was like a little white soap sud. Then today I did the same thing but nothing happened. Can you tell me whats going on? (age 12
It's not unusual that you can't ejaculate every time when you're just starting. You just need to develop more and get more practice.
Do you really need sperm to ejaculate?
The sperm, no, but you need the seminal fluid the sperm are carried in. The semen is what gets ejaculated. Without semen, there is nothing to be ejaculated.
I think that for my age (14) I'm normal at everything but I want to take more time masturbating. If I ejaculate in five minutes, how can I make it take six or seven minutes?
Five minutes actually isn't too bad for 14. The trick to lasting longer is to change your focus when you feel that orgasm is imminent so that you can keep your erection but don't have the orgasm. Then when you think you've gone as long as you want to, just let the orgasm happen.
You say that when semen has been exposed to air, it's transparent. Then how does one differentiate semen from urine? (age 16)
I hope you're not having trouble with this yourself! Urine and semen are produced by completely different bodily processes. If you happen to come across a puddle of it, you'll know which is which. Urine is usually yellow and flows like water. Semen is thicker.
Sometimes when I see semen it's clear but not white and thick. Is that bulbourethral fluid or is that just the color of some semen?
Semen is white when it comes out but then turns clear. When it dries, it turns yellow.
I'm 44 and I have been masturbating since I was 12 or so. I'm so excited about masturbating 2 to 3 times a day. I am single but I do have a girlfriend. I find it so hard not to think about sex all the time! I like to masturbate! Is this normal for my age?
It's very normal to like to masturbate and even to think about sex all the time, but masturbating two to three times a day is extremely high for your age. (For any age.) Some guys masturbate a lot and say it doesn't affect their sex lives, but I find it hard to believe that sex with your girlfriend is as good as it could be when you're masturbating so often. Why not try cutting back to three times a week, or even once a day, and see if you enjoy sex more?
When you say that one should be able to masturbate for about 5-10 minutes, should I be feeling the orgasmic feeling all that time? I can do the hand actions for a while, but only feel the pleasure for a little while. (age 18)
There are four stages of sexual response: arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. The arousal stage lasts the longest. It starts with the erection. Plateau is when you have the feeling that you'll ejaculate if you keep up what you're doing. It lasts anywhere from seconds to one minute. (The people who have the most control over their bodies make the plateau stage last longer.) Orgasm only lasts for about eight seconds. And resolution is the period from when the orgasm ends until you're back to equilibrium, which is the state of not being aroused.
I am 15, and masturbate about 6-7 times a week. I have had a girlfriend for 2 years and she has given me oral sex twice. I would like to know:
I think 15 is too young to be sexually active, so I suggest you wait a while before performing manual intercourse on your girlfriend. (Masturbation is what you do to yourself. When you do it to someone else, it's manual intercourse.) Semen is mostly protein. There's nothing unhealthy about swallowing your own. Swallowing someone else's is unsafe sex, because semen can carry sexually transmitted diseases. And what you see "squirting everywhere" in porn movies is liquid soap. You'll have to be satisfied with the 5-7 ml that comes out of you.
Is it true that you reduce your masturbation habits after having sex for the first time? (age 19)
I think it is. Most guys masturbate less when they're sexually active. Remember the rule of thumb for younger males I state on the main page: M = 8 - (2 * I). Weekly masturbation frequency equals eight minus twice the number of acts of intercourse.
While masturbating I will take my hand off it for a couple of seconds to change a page or to click on a different screen, and during this time it starts to go down, then I put my hand back on it and pull a little then it gets hard again. Is this normal? (age 22)
Yes. The best way to maintain an erection is to be constantly stimulated. Distractions are apt to make your erection go soft.
If you drink alcohol does that mean that you'll get your sperm count lowered? Does that mean it'll eliminate the regular ejaculation volume? (age 13)
I don't know that alcohol lowers sperm count or reduces ejaculate volume, but being drunk can make it harder to get an erection and reach orgasm. And being an alcoholic can make it pretty tough to find a partner. Better plan to stay sober and safe.
If the fluid gets stuck and you get blue balls does it later go away? And is masturbation a thing that all men have to do? (age 13)
The pain of blue balls will go away as the blood and sexual fluids drain from the genitals. I side with the experts who say all men have to masturbate.
What happens when you urinate during an erection? Is it bad for you?(age 11)
It's not bad for you, but the urine stream is much harder to control, which might be bad for your walls, floors, etc. With an erection, it's much easier to urinate into a wall-mounted urinal than a toilet. It's impossible to urinate while ejaculating, because the connection to the bladder is blocked prior to ejaculation.
When I masturbate, after I reach orgasm, I keep masturbating. Is that normal? (age 15)
Actually, it isn't. Guys stop at the orgasm because 1) they're satisfied and 2) the penis is generally too sensitive for continued masturbation. A very tiny minority of males are multi-orgasmic. The rest of us are jealous of you if you're one of those. But if you can't have another orgasm, why do you keep going?
I've been masturating since age 16. I usually do it lying on my belly (TMS). I have no problem with erection or ejaculation. My main problem is that if I am very aroused I ejaculate in 1 minute. How can I make it longer? (age 31)
You don't say if you've experienced intercourse successfully. You're at about the age when many TMS practitioners start noticing problems with erection and orgasm. The first thing you should do is quit the TMS. To answer your question, you just need to slow down when you realize that orgasm is imminent. Try to last even a minute longer at that point. Once you get the hang of controlling it, you can go as long or short as you like.
Is there a certain way that you can masturbate that will cause a stronger orgasm or ejaculate like some of the masturbation websites say? (age 14)
At your age, you should be concentrating on developing a healthy sexuality. Honing your orgasm can wait. But since you asked, you need to gain muscular control to delay your orgasm for about two seconds right before you ejaculate. Doing this allows the ejaculate to build up and when you let go, BANG! Again, this can wait until you have mastered the basics.
What does a sterile male mean? I've been 13 for 4 months now and I still can't ejaculate.
Sterile means unable to produce children. Lots of guys can't ejaculate at 13 1/3.
I just turned 14 and yesterday I think I ejaculated for the first time. I was watching a porno and masturbating at the same time and all of a sudden it started feeling really, really good for like 5 seconds and then my penis went down and in my undies there was this smallish wet patch. I felt it and it was sticky but I didn't see any white stuff. Did I ejaculate?
Probably. I think you would have enjoyed it more if you hadn't had to work through your undies. October 14, 2003 is a date you and Steve Bartman will never forget.
Follow-up: Since then I have tried another two times and although I have reached the same exact high watching the same porno no semen has come out of my penis unlike the first time. What does this mean?
It means you're still learning. Just relax and don't worry about it.
I am 14 years old and I have been masturbating since I was about 11. I have noticed that my ejaculate looks more like mucus. What should I do?
You might try abstaining from masturbation for a few days and see if that makes a difference. Semen looks abnormal after less than a day has passed since the last ejaculation and when more than five days have passed. If that doesn't make a difference, you might call a nurse line. You can be anonymous.
I'm a girl, 14, and I love to think about sex. It makes me feel so good. I masturbate with the end of a paint brush. When I achieve an orgasm, a whole bunch of clear grayish liqud comes out. If that were to happen during sex, where does it go? I make such a mess in my bathroom I masturbate on towels. What am I supposed to do with it?
I'm sure you've heard of the law of gravity. You know where it will go. Probably mixed with your partner's fluids. All guys have the problem of what to do with their ejaculate. I tell them to mop up with a clean rag, like an old shirt.
I am a 12 year old girl and I was wondering how girls masturbate? What are some things they use and where do you buy vibrators and other things to masturbate with?
A girl usually starts by stroking her clitoris or the area around it. Later she might insert fingers or objects like candles or carrots into her vagina. Females don't usually use dildos or vibrators until they're old enough to buy them or get someone to buy them.
I've been masturbating for about 6 months but never ejeculated or had a wet dream. Sometimes after masturbation something like a spit bubble appears at the top of my penis. I've also noticed that the longer it takes me to orgasm the more clear stuff comes out. Am I making it difficult to ejaculate and to go through puberty? When will I start ejaculating? (age 14)
I think you're well into puberty. The clear stuff (pre-cum) is a sign that you'll be ejaculating soon. I don't think you're doing anything wrong.
If you stroke your penis in a certain way or use more lube or something, is there a way that orgasm will be more intense? (age 14)
You'll have to experiment with different strokes and lube to see what you like best. There's no magic answer that will please everyone. It's mostly a matter of getting to know your body.
I go over to my mom's friend's house, and when I'm over there I like to wrestle with her son who is 14, but he always has something hard in his pants. When I feel this up against me I get wet down there, and then I use their bathroom and touch myself there. Is this normal? (age 12)
All of that sounds normal from a health standpoint, but you've obviously gotten too old to be engaging in non-sexual physical play with boys. Your getting wet means it's affecting you in a sexual way. It's a sexual thing for him too, because a guy wouldn't get hard wrestling with someone who didn't turn him on. It's a bad idea to masturbate anyplace other than your own home. If you were to be caught, word might get around and you would be severely embarrassed.
If you have masturbated face down for some time not knowing it was bad for you, if you stop, can you get better? (age 18)
Yes. Most guys are fully cured. It's easiest to be cured when you're in your teens.
I am not into the whole masturbation thing. But I hear it feels so good, and I want to feel it. I kinda think it is gross. I really want to try it. Help me please. (age 12, female)
You need to stop thinking of it as gross. Your vulva is no grosser than your mouth. You don't need to put your fingers into your vagina at first. Start by touching the area around your clitoris. I think you'll figure it out soon.
Is this OK: I masturbate by looking a pic and I lube up my penis with lotion and when I feel like my orgasm is about to start I stop for like 3 seconds then start again. I squirt more and it's more enjoyable. (age 13)
Congratulations. You've learned a technique to enhance your orgasmic control that most guys don't pick up on until later.
Whenever I put on boxer shorts I get an erection. I have only recently started wearing them. At school I wear briefs under the boxers so I don't have erections. Is it normal? The same thing happens when I wear something that is not tight around me penis such as pajama bottoms. (age 12)
You beg the question, why not wear only briefs to school. The erection is because the feeling is different. When you get used to it, they won't cause erections.
When I masturbate the correct way, I ejaculate all over my sheets. Is there a way to keep the semen from going all over the place? I used to ejaculate only on one spot when I did it prone, and now when I do it supine it doesn't go on one spot. Also should I use one hand to masturbate supine, or both? (age 30)
Most guys use only one hand and a time, but I haven't heard of people having sexual troubles from using both hands at once. You might try aiming your penis a little when you ejaculate. I think it'll be easier once you get used to masturbating that way.
Hello and I must first of all say, that your site is very informative.
I'm 15, and whenever I wake up, around at least 95% of the time, I have a fully fledged erect penis. I can get an erection from almost nothing, like thinking about a girl at school. This can happen as much as 5-10 times a day, every day. I also get them for no reason. I am able to successfully ejaculate every time I want to (3 + times a day).
I don't believe this is healthy, to masturbate so often, but if I don't, I find myself losing concentration until I relieve myself. Could this mean that I am producing semen too fast or something?
You're very normal. Typically, teenage males get an erection every 90 to 120 minutes, which last for 20 minutes each. That's why so many guys walking in the hall are carrying jackets and books in front of them. Your masturbation frequency is a little high, but I don't think it's a problem. You'll need to learn to ignore your erections when you need to concentrate on something.
When I have sex, especially oral sex, there is a LOT more semen than when I masturbate. Sometimes it is embarrassing that there is so much. I know this happens if I don't masturbate in a while before having sex, but it also happens even when I have masturbated regularly. What causes that? Is it bad? (age 21)
No, I think some guys just put out more semen. You shouldn't be embarrassed. The difference between a small ejaculate and a large one is only a couple of milliliters. Your partner probably doesn't notice. Anyway, it feels better the more that comes out.
I've tried ejaculating by stroking my penis in the up and down motion, but I have not been able to produce semen. I'm 13 so why can't I correctly masturbate?
I think your technique is correct but you just need a few more weeks or months for your body to be to the point of producing semen. Don't worry about it.
Whenever I ejaculate, my penis almost never goes soft. Sometimes I get a second or third orgasm and more semen comes out, and then it will go soft. Why does that happen? (age 18)
Some guys are multi-orgasmic, like most females are. There's a subculture out there that tries to teach men to have multiple orgasms. I think you're ahead of the game.
When I cum, I have a tendency to shoot semen all over the place. Is there any way to control where semen goes? (age 16)
The best way is to cup your hand over your penis right before you ejaculate. Then the semen goes in your hand or is deflected onto your abdomen.
Is it better to stroke fast or slow when jerking off? I used to stroke slow, but when I tried stroking faster it made coming more enjoyable. (age 15)
You'll have to experiment. I think older guys would say to stroke slowly.
I used to masturbate every day when I was in my 20s, but now I masturbate only once or twice a week. I can get aroused and reach orgasm only when watching a video. My semen is always yellow. Am I doing something wrong? (age 50)
None of that sounds wrong. Many older men need stimulation from pictures or videos. Semen will be more yellow the longer it's been since your last orgasm.
When I masturbate and when I feel the load coming, it is a clear liquid. In movies I see guys shooting out white liquid. I talked to a friend and he said I have to keep jerking after the clear stuff comes out to get the white liquid. Is this true? (age 15)
Yes, but don't expect as much or as thick as you see in the movies. That's special effects.
My brother, 15, says he doesn't masturbate. I don't think he's gone through puberty. I am taller, stronger, deeper voice. Can it be true that he hasn't gone through puberty? (age 14)
Yes, it's possible. Only a doctor can say for sure by checking his hormone levels.
Is it possible to run out of sperm while masturbating regularly? (age 15)
Your body has only so much sperm and semen at any time and it's possible to exhaust what you have on hand. That's why the fourth session of the day is often so hard and produces so little semen. But don't worry. Your body keeps on producing and might step up semen production to respond to the increased demand.
I masturbate but once I ejaculate I stop. Is there any way to stop that? (age 14)
That's the way it's supposed to be.
Whenever I get an erection I release this thin, clear liquid from my penis. It isn't semen (I think) but it is kind of sticky. I would lke to know what it is, why it is happening and how can I stop it. (age 13)
It's bulbourethral fluid, better known as pre-cum. If you kept masturbating when it comes out, you'd ejaculate soon. Its purpose is to neutralize any urine that might be in the urethra before you ejaculate.
I have been masturbating since 13 now I'm 19. When I started I did it 10 or 12 times a week. Now I do it once a week. Does masturbation reduce sperm in your body?
I can't imagine doing it only once a week at your age. Masturbation has no long-term effect on sperm count.
Thank you for a very informative site. I'm battling with masturbation. I feel that when I masturbate, I release my sexual drive. And with that, my natural male instincts to 'fight,' and 'compete,' in the workplace, sports, etc. From a naturalist standpoint, does my theory hold any weight? (age 31)
I'm not a naturalist, but I know that people who are superior competitors tend to masturbate more than average. And I've heard that deer masturbate after a fight. I think your theory needs more empirical input.
Day before, I saw your site and I really appreciate your serious efforts. We don't really get to see many sites catering sexual education (at least I have seen none). Since the time I have read what you told about masturbation, I have been feeling eager to share my problems with you. Though I am not really suffering from any sexual dysfunction mentioned in your site but still I have to know few things from you.
I belong to a Muslim country and in Muslim society it is unlawful and sin to commit any sexual activity other than with wife or husband. It includes masturbation too. Also, there are widespread rumours that masturbation is a bad activity, it leaves you weak, it causes sexual dysfunctions etc. But from you site I have learned that it is a blessing that all boys get for free and how it can be used for physical and mental pleasure.
I first masturbated when I think I was 14 (I am 23 now). But I felt so guilty and sinister that I never did it again until I was 18 (sounds unbelievable?). From then on I started doing it with a low frequency like once a month and for past two years, it has increased to like 4 or 5 times a month but still (before reading your site) I felt bad about masturbation and I always condemned myself for doing that. But now, I am sure I shall continue it with a higher frequency like twice a week and with mental comfort and ease too.
Now I have few problems. First, the wet dreams. I have been having wet dreams with frequency like 5 or 6 a month since beginning. And I am sick and tired of them!!! From your site I have learned that they are uncommon in boys over 15 because they start masturbation. I'm 23 and I still get them with same frequency. How can I use masturbation to get rid of wet dreams??
A: Personally, I always enjoyed wet dreams. I actually miss them sometimes but enjoy being awake for orgasms now. Most males masturbate more often than you do. That's why you're still having wet dreams. Masturbating 2-3 times a week will probably put an end to them forever.
Secondly I didn't get any clue from you site whether lubricants should be used while masturbating or not? Because I always used one (mostly shampoo or soap).
A: Those are dangerous to use as lubricants since they will dry out the skin badly if they are not washed off right away. Hand lotion is a popular lubricant, especially if you can't or won't buy a lubricant specially made for sex.
Third question. I rarely masturbate on bed. I do it in bathroom, mostly while taking a shower. So I cannot lay on bathroom floor like you said one should while masturbating on bed. I usually sit with my back againt the wall and legs spread with some distance between them. Sometimes standing and sometimes sitting on my feet. But I always use my hands making a fist around penis in fashion you have described and rubbing. Is it OK?
A: Yes, that's OK.
Then I could not learn from you site whether one should rub the head or not. All Muslim boys like me are circumcised in early childhood so head is always very prominent. And I would never enjoy masturbating without rubbing it. What do you say about it???
It's up to you. You should try to enjoy the feelings from stroking the shaft more since the shaft is better stimulated in intercourse.
And finally, I am afraid that I am suffering from premature ejaculation. I had a foreign girl friend 3 years ago with whom I had sexual intercourse 5 times and I reached orgasm in a minute or less each time and she was very disappointed and of course I felt really bad about it. After her I never had any sex partner but even while masturbating, I don't play for long. How can I use masturbation to increase the masturbation and intercourse (in future) sessions???
Try to last longer. If you're reaching orgasm in 2 minutes, set a goal of 3 minutes. Then go to 5 minutes, and so on. Women typically like to go about 10 minutes.
I'm 16, and I have been masturbating for several years now. I have 3 questions: 1) I have been sleeping nude for a while, (I have heard many people like it better than sleeping with clothes) and sometimes I have problems falling asleep because I get an erection. I masturbate, but sometimes it still is hard to fall asleep. What can I do to solve this? Is it just a sleep problem? 2) Many people talk about masturbating several times in a row, but I don't know how someone could have that kind of stamina...wouldn't it hurt? 3) How do you masturbate without lube? Rubbing an unlubed hand against a dry penis gets pretty rough!
- The obvious answer is, if you fall asleep more easily with clothing (or pajamas), then don't sleep nude. I'd be more interested in what you like than what you've heard "many people" like. You might discuss with your parents trying an over-the-counter sleep aid if you really think your sleeplessness is a problem. (You don't need to tell them about either sleeping nude or masturbating.) The easiest solution to insomnia is to get up at the same time every morning.
- Masturbating several times in a row means resting for half an hour or more between sessions. Most guys can do it at least twice that way. It's better to make "double-header" sessions a rare rather than common thing; save it for once a week or less. If your penis starts to hurt, then you're masturbating too much.
- Many guys, especially younger ones, masturbate without lube. It's only a problem if the penis is getting bruised. A lube made especially for sex (like K-Y Liquid or Astroglide) is best for masturbating with, but if you're embarrassed to buy a sexual lube, ordinary petroleum jelly and hand lotion make good substitutes.
Hi, I'm 24 years old and I masturbate around 10 times per week. What's the average for my age? Also, there is a girl that I like and every time I see her I get a huge erection. Is this normal?
I think 10 times a week is a little high for your age. As I write on my site, I think 8 times a week is normal for men under 30 who don't have partners. Your erection is very normal. Why not ask the girl out? It might actually be easier if you cut back on your masturbating some.
How does masturbation affect sperm count? Is it likely that one may become infertile because of masturbation? I only ask because I fear that I may not be able to have children when I come of age to marry. I go weeks at a time without masturbating, but sometimes the sexual frustration leads the hand down there. Thank you for considering my questions. (age 17)
Masturbation does not cause anything more than temporary infertility, and it is theorized that regular masturbation actually improves fertility. Your sperm count will be lower right after you ejaculate, but it will be replenished in a day or so. Doctors like men to abstain from ejaculation for two to three days before a semen test because that optimizes the sperm count. Going longer than two to three days will also increase the sperm count, but these sperm will be older and weaker than those ejaculated after only 2-3 days, and the semen will be in worse shape to carry those sperm. So a man who masturbated 2-3 days before trying to inseminate a woman will have a better chance than a man who hasn't ejaculated in a week.
Are you only masturbating every few weeks because you're sexually active with a partner? Most guys your age without partners masturbate daily, and even those who have intercourse masturbate 3-4 times a week. In short, masturbating will do more to maximize your fertility and sexual health than not masturbating.
How long should it take to have an orgasm and ejaculation? Should it be around 5 minutes? I need more tips on masturbation. I'll take any kind of help. I just want to have a great sex life when I'm older. (age 13)
At your age, orgasms tend to come rather quickly. It's not so important how long they take at 13. It's always better to make them last longer, and I think five minutes is a good target to shoot for when you're a young teenager. It's good that you're thinking about what your sex life will be like when you're older. (Much older, I hope.)
Just yesterday I masturbated 4 times and had an orgasm all those times. Do you think my chance of ejaculating when I get 13 is better now because it's almost June and that's my birthday? Secondly, I only have an orgasm when I close my eyes and think of something sexy. Is this normal?
I think you'll be ejaculating soon but it might be a lot to ask by your birthday since that's only about a month from now. Don't worry about not ejaculating until you get to be 15. And yes, that's how most guys have an orgasm. Congratulations on discovering how at such a young age!
I am a big fan of your site. I am 14 and masturbate reguarly but I haven't had an orgasm yet. Is this normal?
Yes. A lot of guys don't have orgasms until they're 14. I wouldn't worry until you're 15.
I masturbate regularly but don't get an orgasm and can't ejaculate. I am a little worried. I jerk off every night. I have not had a wet dream either. Am I normal? Can you tell me how to measure a penis? (age 14)
You need to relax and enjoy what you're doing and not worry about ejaculating. The orgasm will come when you're relaxed. To measure length, put the zero end of a ruler at the point above your erect penis where it meets your body. You need a tape measure (the kind tailors use) to measure circumference.
My birthday is tomorrow June 12, and my grandma said that when you turn 13 you can father a child. But you can't father a child unless you can ejaculate because sperm is in semen, right? So do you think she's telling the truth and if so than how many months does it take to finally do that (not that I want to have a child.) (age 12, as of June 11)
Yes, your grandma has the timeline about right. Not all guys become fertile (able to father children) at the same time they can ejaculate. But if you're not producing sperm at your first ejaculation, you should be able to within a few months. Most guys have their first ejaculation when they're 13, so it will probably be only a few months for you. Happy birthday!
I'm 14 and I've been masturbating for over a year now once or twice a day but when I ejaculate I never seem to squirt. It just dribbles out. Why is that? Is that normal? How can I change that?
It's normal for guys to lack control over their ejaculation when they're new to masturbating. The trick is to hold back your ejaculation for just a second so that it builds up inside and comes out with more force. You need to feel the muscle that controls the ejaculation to do this. It's the same muscle you use to stop and start the flow of urine. Be sure not to press with your hand to stop the flow. That's dangerous. You just need to squeeze that muscle a little right before you ejaculate to control it. You would also have a fuller ejaculation if you masturbated less frequently. Why not cut down to once a day or even every other day until you gain control over your ejaculation?
Ejaculation only takes me four minutes at the most and after that my penis is too sensitive to touch. Is that normal? (age 14)
It's pretty normal for 14. At any age, the penis is too sensitive to touch after ejaculation. You should work at stretching your masturbation sessions out. Try to last five minutes, then seven minutes, etc.
I am 16 and I masturbate almost every Saturday night. When I have an orgasm I only ejaculate clear or yellowish semen. Is there something wrong with me?
I doubt it. Semen is more likely to come out yellow if one is only ejaculating once a week. That's because the fluid got old and turned yellow inside you. Semen will come out white if you ejaculate every day, which nearly all guys your age do.
I masturbate about once a day but I haven't had a wet dream yet like all my friends have. (age 14)
If you masturbate daily (or at all), it's unlikely you'll ever have a wet dream. Your friends probably had theirs before they started masturbating. Don't worry about it. Many guys have never had a wet dream, and some who have don't like them.
When I masturbate, if I see pre-cum does that mean I'm close to ejaculating? Does pre-cum have sperm in it? Where does pre-cum come from? Does it come from the same place semen comes from? Does masturbating with no lube hurt your penis especially if I do it more than once a day? (age 13)
The presence of pre-cum means you will ejaculate if you keep up what you're doing. Pre-cum can occasionally have sperm in it, which means be careful not to finger a girl if you have pre-cum on your hands. She could get pregnant that way. Pre-cum is produced in the Cowper's gland, also known as the bulbourethral gland. If your penis isn't hurting, don't worry about not using lube. Most guys prefer lube.
Will your sperm count decrease if you masturbate daily?
Your sperm count is optimized at 2-3 days between ejaculations. So ejaculating daily will tend to lower your sperm count. After 2-3 days, your sperm count will climb higher, but these sperm will be older and less viable than at 2-3 days.
I need help! Usually it takes me 30 minutes or more to reach orgasm and I know because I timed myself. How can I shorten my time? My hand gets tired, I get real sweaty and my penis head turns red. (age 13)
Either you're not mentally focused or you're doing it too often. Take a couple of days off. I think you'll be able to reach orgasm more quickly afterward. And if your head is red, you're stroking too hard.
Just wondering about the amount of protein lost during masturbation. As a gym rat, I was wondering if the loss is significant? (age 19)
The loss comes when the semen is manufactured, not when it is ejaculated. The ejaculate is only about a teaspoon, so the protein component is less than that.
Follow-up: Hi thanks for the reply but I did not understand your answer. So is it significant or not? (no. of grams??)
The protein content of a teaspoon of semen is less than three grams. I wouldn't worry about it.
I have been masturbating since I turned 15. But sometimes I reach orgasm in just 2-3 minutes and my penis isn't erect and hard enough during orgasm. (age 22)
Do you have TMS? That would explain your problem. If not, you might just need to concentrate more on what you're doing. It's OK to occasionally orgasm that quickly, but you should try to make yourself last longer. And if you're losing your erection while masturbating, it seems likely you're losing your mental arousal. Try to focus.
Is masturbating twice a week healthy or not? (age 16)
Yes, twice a week is a healthy level.
When I masturbate, I find that I don't seem to ejaculate much. All I can achieve is a few drops. Is this normal? (age 15)
Lots of guys find they don't ejaculate much when they're new to it, especially if they're masturbating more than once a day. Might try cutting back for a couple of weeks and see if your volume increases. It might also be that you're stopping before you're finished ejaculating. Don't stop the second you ejaculate.
When I masturbate my nipples get erect. I don't like the way it looks, and gives me problems wearing clothes, because the shape of a nipple shows up in a shirt. Can you please tell me a way to get rid of this, or how to get it back to normal? (age 17, male)
Nipple erection is a normal consequence of sexual arousal. They should go down soon after orgasm, but you'll have to live with it in any case. Wearing an undershirt will not only cover up the erect nipples, but also help them go down faster from the extra pressure.
I'm 13 and 1 month and I can't ejaculate.
Don't worry about not ejaculating until you're 15. Three in four guys will masturbate to orgasm by age 14. That means one in four won't until he's at least 14.
I recently started masturbating. I have had wet dreams but when I masturbate no semen comes out. I don't do TMS. I have pre-cummed once and kept going but had no semen. Is this normal? (age 13)
Many guys don't orgasm the first time they masturbate, even if they are already having wet dreams. Just relax and focus mentally on what arouses you. The mental focus is the most important thing. The orgasm might come when you aren't expecting it.
When I masturbate it feels good but when I have an orgasm (though I still can't ejaculate) I have a need to speed up. When I do that my penis burns. Do you know a solution to this problem? (age 13)
I do. With experience, you'll be better able to handle your penis so you won't hurt yourself while masturbating. In the meantime, you might try some kind of lubricant. Most guys your age use hand lotion although a lube made especially for sex is best. Also, while many people intensify their speed and pressure when orgasm is near, it's best if you can teach yourself to orgasm without increasing speed and pressure.
Follow up: You said a sex lube would be best. Is sex lube K-Y Jelly? If so, where can I find it? Yesterday I tried to open my penis hole. There was a white line connecting from the lips of it. Was that semen?
Not necessarily semen. And the opening is called the urethra. Always be careful opening it. I don't recommend any particular brand, but I think K-Y Jelly is too goopy. You might try K-Y Liquid or Astroglide. You can buy them at a drug or discount store (like K Mart or Target) next to the condoms.
I masturbate standing up. I read on your site that is not correct and healthy so I tried to do it lying down to get used to it. It took a long time. Do you know if I can't do it lying down because I am too used to doing it standing up? (age 14)
I never said that masturbating standing is incorrect or unhealthy. Standing is a variation that most guys don't try until they're experienced masturbating either lying or sitting, or both. It probably took longer because it's different from what you're used to. You should be more comfortable lying than standing, and therefore it should be easier for you to adjust to lying than it would for someone who's only done it lying to adjust to standing.
I am not getting my 8 hours of sleep. Will that slow me down in puberty? My mom and dad are breaking up on Thursday and I just found out I was born out of wedlock. This is making me not masturbate and I feel like committing suicide and it's hard to masturbate now. Please help me, I need to masturbate again! (age 13)
Sorry you're having so many problems! You're learning at a young age how being occupied with problems can mess up your sex drive. Not getting enough sleep will not retard your puberty. Lots of kids these days are born out of wedlock. It's not a big deal. And don't kill yourself. I don't want to lose a reader.
What's the easiest way to masturbate face-up on a waterbed? Should your back be on a firm mattress, or it doesn't matter? (age 30)
I suppose a firm mattress (or even a couch) would be better, but millions of guys learned to do it on their backs on a waterbed. When you're ready to give it a try, do it both ways and see if it makes a difference.
I just turned 13 and was wondering a few things: 1. What is an orgasm? 2. How long should it take for me to have an orgasm and ejaculate? 3. How tightly should I be squeezing my penis during masturbation? 4. What's a good way to tell if a girl likes you?
An orgasm is a sequence of physiological events corresponding to the peak of sexual response. The most important one is ejaculation. At your age, most guys can masturbate to orgasm in less than five minutes. Squeeze no tighter than a medium handshake. And the best way to tell if she likes you is if she smiles at you. Good luck.
You answered me before. Thank you so much! Your advice helped me and I now can have an orgasm and ejaculate. I used to use Vaseline but have found a new lotion that works quite well. I was wondering if any of these ingredients are bad for me: petrolatum, isopropyl palmitate, cetearyl alcohol, castor oil, glyceral stearate. (age 13)
Always glad to help. All of those sound like pretty common lotion ingredients. Petrolatum is petroleum jelly, and it doesn't surprise me that you like a lotion containing it if you've recently switched from Vaseline.
I found out I can ejaculate only if hold my orgasm back as long as I can though it's not much semen (soap sud semen look alike). I can ejaculate but it's not fair -- I want to ejacaulate at least half a tablespoon. (age 13)
You're not doing yourself any good by pushing yourself so hard. Ejaculate volume will come in time. And even us adult men rarely ejaculate as much as half a tablespoon. A single teaspoon (1/3 tablespooon) is typical.
Follow-up: If adults don't ejaculate that much how come when I watch porn movies the men ejaculate a LOT!!! I'm not pushing myself; it makes the masturbation time longer and I gotta practice if girls like a long time of sex, right?
No, none of that is right. You shouldn't be watching those cheesy porn movies; sex isn't like that. And what you see being "ejaculated" is liquid soap. It's all special effects, man. You're pushing yourself if you're trying to ejaculate more than you're able to. And you shouldn't be practicing for girls at your age. Just work at having a healthy sexuality.
Does masturbating affect the voice? (age 17)
It sounds a little different right at the point of orgasm.
I am a mother of a 9 year old little girl. She has recently brought to my attention that when she watches movies with any type of kissing, hugging, etc. that she gets tingling feelings in her private parts. She also stated she didn't know why, but she felt the urge to touch herself when she has these feelings. I tried very hard to remain calm and explain to her that the tingling sensations are quite normal and everybody gets them sooner or later. Needless to say she was so thrilled with my understanding, that she told me she was so excited she could talk to me about this and I didn't get mad, that she was gonna tell me everything from now on.
I accidentally walked in on her in the bathtub the other night to find her stretched out in the tub, relaxing and the water jetting from the faucet was hitting her vulva. When she realized I had seen what she was doing she simply just grinned at me and stated, "This feels great, Mom! You should try it sometime!"
She now comes to me and ask me if she can watch certain videos (basically "chick flicks") "in private." She seems very comfortable with her newfound adventures, but I am just dying. This is my little girl and I do not know what to say or do about this situation. I have always tried to be very open with my kids about sex, drugs, alcohol, etc., and I am glad she feels comfortable to confide in me, but I just never imagined it would be something like masturbation and at such a young age. She is a middle child (daughter 11 and a son 5), and neither of my other children (as far as I know) have even thought about this. I think I am most afraid that experiencing these types of feelings at this age will make her want to have sex with a boy at a young age. To my knowledge I do not think she has reached the stage of orgasm, but at this rate I fear it won't be long.
This is not a problem in public or anything she talks about in front of the other children. She acts like it is this big secret "just between us girls." In my heart, I can not stand the thought of her doing this but I also don't want her to feel ashamed or like something is wrong with her either. I know it is a very normal thing. I even masturbated when I was a kid, but it was not something I told my mother about.
I think you're already doing a good job being open about it and not judgmental (to her, at least). I don't think her behavior is anything to worry about or even all that unusual. A sizeable number of both boys and girls engage in prepubescent masturbation. The difference in your daughter is that she's open about it. I don't know that early masturbation leads to early sexual experimentation. We definitely know that a lack of sex education leads to early sexual experimentation, so I suggest you explain to your daughter what masturbation is in the larger context of sexual behavior, and soon. And it might be time to give her more privacy in the bathroom.
I masturbate 4 to 5 times a week and I started about 2 months ago. I've never ejaculated yet but today I felt I was really really close. It was about four minutes already so I just pushed hard like if you didn't have much to urinate. The stuff that came out was clear like water but still sticky. I've had wet dreams before and woken up right after and it was white and sticky. Is this normal? (age 13)
You're trying too hard to masturbate. The liquid that came out was bulbourethral fluid, what most guys call "pre-cum." If you had been able to relax and keep masturbating for a few minutes, I think you would have ejaculated. Just relax, keep a mental focus, and don't push yourself do hard.
I'm a 13-year-old boy. I masturbated once and I mostly just pinched it. Are there any right ways to do it?
Yes. Stroke the shaft of your erect penis with a loose fist. Touch the head only a little. Once you learn that, you won't say you masturbated once. (More like once a day!)
I have a technique where I pull down on my testicles and up on the shaft, or I will sort of press down on the shaft. It seems to be the way to get me hard. I am on my back when I do this. Could I be causing damage by pulling down on the testicles? It isn't very rough or anything. (age 32)
You describe an idiosyncratic way of masturbating. As discussed on this site, guys who masturbate normally have the least trouble in intercourse. It's probably not doing physical damage but it might not be doing your sexuality any good either. Try to have more than one way to get hard.
I'm almost 14 years old. I've been masturbating about a month and all I get is clear looking sticky liquid. After about 20 minutes of masturbating I just get that. I am always nice and relaxed and always think of something that arouses me when I masturbate. I've had wet dreams before and the semen was white. I don't do TMS. Is there anything wrong?
It's not at all unusual that you don't have it down correctly at age 13 after only a month. The clear liquid is bulbourethral fluid, better known as pre-cum. If you are patient and keep masturbating when it comes out, I think you'll ejaculate soon. Be sure to relax and just enjoy what you're doing. Try not to anticipate ejaculating.
I cannot ejaculate. I have been trying for like a month now. I realize some 15 year old guy asked this same question but does this have anything to do with the fact that I have no pubic hair? Do you know how older guys are called sterile? I know this means they cannot father children, but does this mean they cannot ejaculate? (age 13)
Don't worry about not ejaculating at 13. A month isn't that long. The pubic hair will probably grow in about the same time you start ejaculating. Maybe the same month. Sterile men cannot father children, but their other sexual abilities are normal.
I masturbate about two times a day and if no one is around for a long time, I usually try to go four times. If I keep masturbating this much will I be in danger of having a low sperm count in the future? (age 15)
No. Your body is constantly producing sperm. How much you masturbate has nothing to do with it.
I am 15 years old and I just started masturbating about a month ago. Whenever I finish masturbating I roll back my foreskin and I see a some white sticky fluid which I gather is semen. I don't understand how this can be so since during masturbation I wasn't aware of ejaculation, thus never experiencing an orgasm. Could you please explain what is happening?
The most likely answer is that it is pre-cum that you might not feel coming out. If you keep masturbating and focus your mind properly when you have pre-cum, you should reach orgasm soon. You should be ejaculating regularly at age 15. Are you having wet dreams?
Follow-up: No, I have never had a wet dream. Is that bad? What does this mean?
You ought to take this up with a doctor. It's very unusual to not have ejaculated at your age. Most guys are ejaculating at age 13.
How long do you have to wait to have a wet dream? (age 15)
If you're not having them at your age, I don't think you ever will. Guys who have them experience one about every 10 days.
I've been reading your very interesting site and I'm now concerned I might have a TMS-related problem. I don't masturbate prone (I don't think I could even reach orgasm that way) but I do masturbate in a way that's not typical. I'm uncircumcised, and I repeatedly squeeze and rub over the foreskin, directly stimulating the head and not really touching the shaft. I can do this either sitting or supine. Is this TMS? I don't do it often, but I am still also able to reach orgasm and ejaculate using the normal fist method with a fair bit more effort. Any answer would be appreciated. (age 16)
Squeezing is the second most common form of masturbation. It's good that you only do it occasionally. It's not a form of TMS. You might consider giving it up before you become sexually active.
I masturbate every other day and sometimes every day. Sometimes I get pre-cum and sometimes i don't. I've had wet dreams but I have never reached orgasam by masturbating. If you get hit in the testicles, could this damage your ability to ejaculate? (age 13)
If you've had wet dreams, you're old enough to masturbate to orgasm. You simply need to focus more when you're masturbating. It's unlikely an impact to the testicles would hurt your ejaculability.
I am 15 year old male and I have had wet dreams but never ejaculated when I have been masturbating. I get pre-cum but usually penis goes down then and I become disinterested. What should I do to ejaculate?
You need to focus mentally on something that REALLY turns you on so you can keep masturbating for as long as you need to. Once you've done that, it will get easier.
Should guys my age use lube? Where do you get your information from? (age 14)
Using lube is a personal choice. Many guys your age use it. I don't think it's essential unless you're roughing yourself up. I've been studying sexuality since I was your age and pay a lot of attention to what I hear from my readers.
When I masturbated yesterday, I reached orgasm but I didn't ejaculate semen. It was the color of water or clear jelly. What is that? (age 13)
It was semen. At your age, it's possible you're not manufacturing all the elements of semen consistently. I wouldn't worry.
I'm 14 and I've been masturbating for over a year. Most times I don't have any "pre-cum" at all. I masturbate twice a day. Is this because I masturbate too much?
It might be you're masturbating too fast. In guys who reach orgasm too quickly, the pre-cum comes out right before the semen and is indistinct from it. If you take your time, you'd be aware of the flow of pre-cum well before you ejaculate.
I masturbate every weekend. I ejaculate in about 45 seconds. How do I make that last longer? (age 12)
If you masturbated more often, it would naturally take longer.
My problem is that when I masturbated too much, my face became all plump, my height stopped, and my voice cracked? Why is it? Now I have stopped masturbating. Tell me what should I do. (age 15)
Those things all happened to you about the same time because they are all manifestations of puberty. Masturbation was not the cause. It was only one of the effects.
I have not had a wet dream yet. Why not? And when will I? (age 13)
You are not yet at the stage in puberty where you have sexual fluids to eliminate. It's possible you'll be masturbating before you can get to that point, in which case you might never have a wet dream.
I stumbled across your site from another sex discussion site with guys my age and older. I've been masturbating for years and still enjoy it about twice a week, even through many years of marriage. I hope it's still normal at my age, do you think so?
Yes, I do.
Can you judge how far someone is in puberty by looking? (age 13)
Puberty only takes a year to a year and a half. The different things that happen in puberty don't happen on a regular track; one person may be ejaculating but not have a changed voice or facial hair while another person may have a changed voice and facial hair but not be ejaculating.
God created the human body to pretty much run on cruise control. If you don't masturbate you have wet dreams. Masturbation is not neccesary. I challege you people to not whack it and see how much more alive you feel. I haven't masturbated in five months and my relationship with God has only gotten better. And besides wet dreams are cooler. (age 20)
I've heard adult men say they don't masturbate or they quit masturbating, but I don't believe them. John Gray says it took him seven years to quit, so if that's true, I don't think you could quit in five months. The absence of masturbation doesn't guarantee wet dreams. Infrequent ejaculation leads to prostate trouble (prostatitis and prostatodynia), and frequent masturbation when young has been shown to reduce the risk of prostate cancer when older.
What about women? Women don't have wet dreams. So then is God's plan that orgasm is for all males but only married women? I find it hard to believe that God didn't intend masturbation to be part of a healthy sexuality. You need to accept masturbation as a normal, even necessary, part of male sexuality. Pray for that acceptance instead of praying to quit.
What happens when masturbation loses its fun? I've been unable to find a female these past few years. I read that if you take 30 second breaks occasionally, it'll be better. I did this and it was better, but now that seems to have lost its effect. I'm just curious what I could do to make it more pleasurable again. I usually do this kneeling on the ground and using my hand. A part of the problem may be that I always use a container so I don't make a mess, but I can't find a suitable container and it's usually a tight fit with my hand in there too and that doesn't help. (age 22)
I think you need to start from scratch. I've been doing it more than twice as long as you have, and it hasn't lost its fun. I can't believe kneeling on the ground is more fun than where most guys do it (bed, shower, computer desk). Why not try more conventional means?
I have fears of being with women and satisfying them so I have masturbated more than having actual sex. My problem is when I have sex it is always after an interval of months from the previous time. I come fast when having sexual intercourse, when having a blow job or a hand job. (age 22)
Your fear of women no doubt keeps you from having the kind of long-term relationship that would give you more frequent sex and a likely cure to your premature ejaculation. I'd suggest addressing the fear of women first and letting the PE take care of itself. Most guys your age have masturbated many, many more times than they've had sexual intercourse.
What does orgasm feel like? I've tried masturbunring but I can never tell when the orgasm comes. What does it look like when the semen comes out? (age 12)
You'll know when you have one. You first feel some contractions within your pelvis that start slowly and then become more intense. Then the semen comes out as a whitish liquid. The whole thing takes 8-12 seconds.
When the prostate is stimulated what is the result? Why is it so bad to be the one in anal sex that is on the receiving end of the penis. Isn't it enjoyable to have the prostate stimulated? (age 14)
I've always found the prostate exam to be one of the least enjoyable minutes of my year. Proper stimulation of the prostate can cause ejaculation, although not necessarily an orgasm. Ejaculation without orgasm is usually not enjoyable. Anal sex is unhealthy because it can destroy the function of the rectum (namely, to hold waste matter until it is ready to be expelled) and because there is some research that shows that the person on the receiving end can suffer damage to the nerves that are important to sexual pleasure.
When a girl has an orgasm what happens? (age 13)
She doesn't ejaculate, but the feelings and muscular contractions are similar to those a male feels.
I masturbated before a Boy Scout meeting once. As I was sitting in the meeting, I felt a weird feeling in my penis and then some white stuff kinda oozed out. Was that semen? (age 12)
More likely it was pre-cum. That stuff keeps flowing after your erection goes down. Sometimes enough can come out that it seeps through your pants.
I just started masturbating and if I put some pressure on my testes, it gets me aroused faster and I enjoy it much more. Will this hurt me? I also get aroused when I'm wearing small underwear, like boxer briefs as oppoaed to regular boxers, or string bikini briefs as opposed to regular briefs. Is this normal? I know normal masturbation for a male is 8 a week, but I feel like I could do it forever! I've done it twice today, and feel like I could do it again in bed tonight. Is it bad after you have just masturbated, to do it again? (age 14)
You should avoid putting pressure on the testicles. Try to get aroused other ways. It's normal to be more easily stimulated when wearing what you're not used to. It's also normal for guys your age to masturbate more than the average male.
I am 13. What is a safe kind of lubrication that is a home product? How much should I use? (age 13)
Most guys who don't want to buy a sex lube get by with hand lotion or petroleum jelly. Use as little as possible.
I've been masturbating for ages now, but just today I ejaculated for the first time. I feel really guilty. I want to do it again, but I know I will feel guilty. Why am I feeling guilty, and should I keep on ejaculating? (age 14)
It's normal to feel guilty about masturbating because if everyone were content masturbating, there would be no reason for people to mate with partners and the species would die. Just enjoy your newfound pleasures, and before long guilt will be only an occasional thing.
How far can a guy make it squirt? Does it feel better when it squirts farther? (female, age 14)
It usually only goes a few inches, sometimes a foot. Guys make it squirt farther to show off, not because it feels better.
Great site! It clears up a lot of embarrassing questions. I've only been masturbating for a very short time, but I can't seem to ejaculate. I think I get an orgasm, and the stuff that comes out smells horrible, and is white. After it comes out, I don't want to masturbate anymore. Am I ejaculating, or just precumming? (age 14)
You're ejaculating. It might smell better if you did it more often. Or maybe you'll get used to it.
I'm 13 and still can't ejaculate! When I turn 14 shouldn't I be expected to ejaculate? If so, what if I turn 14 and still can't ejaculate?
Don't get ahead of yourself. You're not 14 yet. I tell guys not to seek medical attention until they're 15. It's likely you'll be ejaculating soon, perhaps within weeks.
Whenever I masturbate I feel like I have to urinate afterward. (age 13)
I used to masturbate daily but then cut down to 1-2 times a week. When I'm having sex or oral sex with a very attractive girl, I cannot reach orgasm until after 20 minutes of trying very hard. (age 17)
That's unusual for your age. Perhaps you're masturbating with too much force? Perhaps you're getting some kind of mental distraction during sex? I don't know what to tell you. You've already done what I would have suggested, cut down your masturbation frequency.
I'm trying to quit ejaculating when I masturbate because my coach thinks I would perform better without ejaculating. Is there any way I can masturbate without ejaculating? (age 15)
Glad I never had a coach like that. Masturbating short of orgasm isn't a healthy practice. If you masturbate, you should try to have an orgasm. Anyway, masturbating without ejaculating would have about the same impact on your energy level as masturbating to orgasm. Also, it's not uniformly agreed that ejaculating is bad for athletic performance. No one has ever studied the question formally, and I suspect that most of the athletes who claim not to be ejaculating are in reality jerkin' the gherkin as much as anyone else.
I tried masturbating for the first time, but nothing came out. How long does it take for the semen to come out? (age 12)
You should have an orgasm within 5-10 minutes, but your body might not be ready to ejaculate yet.
While I'm at school and if I see a girl, I get hard, and I think about sex while I'm in class. Is there any way to stop this from happening? (age 12)
Castration would pretty much take care of those "problems." But you don't want that.
I get upset because when people masturbate, they say they feels good sensations by touching their body, especially the chest, abdomen, and nipples. I don’t feel anything.Why? Is there a special way to do it? (age 25)
You need to learn that sexual response can come from more than just the penis. When you're aroused, try feeling around your body -- arms, chest, neck, thighs -- and see if you can find places that feel more sensitive. Then work on those areas from time to time.
I have been masturbating since before puberty and I have TMS. When I masturbate, I feel very uncomfortable. So I do it prone for a while, and when I am ready to ejaculate, I flip over and to rub it with my pre-cum as lube, but when I rub the head, it tickles in an uncomfortable way. Even in the shower it does that. So I am afraid to have oral sex because I know I won't like it. Is this normal? (age 14)
TMS is never normal. You need to cut that out and learn to masturbate normally. Then you can get used to the sensations of touching your head, and eventually you'll be adjusted enough to have oral sex.
Can excessive masturbation cause your erection to be less firm than if the frequency was less? (age 30)
As a practical matter, yes. Erections and orgasms are apt to be more intense the longer the interval since the last one. But masturbation frequency has little long-term impact on erection strength.
Masturbating into something soft, like a pillow or a comforter, allows you to thrust, like you are having intercourse, which makes orgasms much more powerful. However, you have to have ultimate privacy for this, which is hard to find if you have shared living quarters (roommates). Personally, I think most males masturbate far more often than they will admit to. I took a sex ed class (coed) and only 80 per cent of the guys admitted, in a closed survey, they masturbated more than once a day! I think most of us, especialy at this age, masturbate at least twice a day, sometimes more, especially if you date someone and become aroused by necking, touching, etc. (age 18)
TMS gives you powerful orgasms, but you might not be able to have them with other people. 80 percent is a very high number. Is that a typo? I don't think 80 percent masturbate more than once a day. You claim to masturbate 8-10 times a week, which I say on my pages is about average.
Can you wear your penis out from masturbating the TMS way because it doesn't feel good when I orgasm anymore. I have never had sex. (age 16)
You're not wearing it out, but you're overstimulating certain nerves. Quitting TMS will restore the sensitivity.
I masturbate the regular way and only 1-2 times a day. I haven't had vaginal intercourse yet but have received oral sex 6 times. I have never lost an erection from the oral sex. Recently a girl was at my house and we were kissing on the couch. My erection was strong at first but when it came time to have intercourse my erection went down. Am I panicking too much or is it a problem from masturbation? This has happened more than once before. At first I thought maybe I just wasn't sexually attrated to her but my erection was coming on and off. What can I do to stop thinking about my unpredictable erections so I can finally perform? Do I have an oral fetish because I would rather get oral sex because of the fear my erection will turn off/on? I just need a way to get over this crazy anxiety. (age 17)
I think you're masturbating too much for someone trying to learn intercourse. I suggest you cut down to once a day and abstain from masturbating completely for 2-3 days before an expected encounter. Just relax and don't worry about having or losing an erection. I think once you've experienced coitus successfully you'll like it as much or better than oral sex.
When I masturbate I last about 10 minutes. When people have sex, they say they can last for more than an hour. Does that mean that I come too easily? (age 15)
10 minutes is good and healthy for your age. I think your only problem is you believe people who tell you they last for an hour during intercourse.
I used to masturbate very frequently, twice a day or more. As I've gotten older, I've cut down to once every 2 days. After not masturbating for 4 days to a week, I've noticed that I become much more confident and more sociable. My friend tried this too and it has worked for him. I might suggest this to guys who masturbate frequently and might feel somewhat unconfident or anxious in socializing, and I would also like your opinion on this. (age 15)
Most guys who masturbate at that rate when they're 13 or 14 cut back when they get to be 15 or 16. It might be cutting back is making you more sociable, or maybe you just think it is. Some of the most social guys your age masturbate a lot more than you do. There are also guys who will become more anxious as a result of not masturbating. Now that you're experienced at both masturbating and being sociable, you should be able to practice either without regard to when you've last done the other.
I'm turning 14 in a month. I tried masturbating today for about 10 minutes while looking at pictures. It felt pretty good, but I did not ejaculate or have an orgasm. I have never had a wet dream either. When I masturbated today, I felt really hot and sweated a lot. Is that normal?
That's very normal! You probably need to focus more. It will probably take more than 10 minutes your first time.
Is it true that you shouldn't masturbate 48 hours before an athletic event? (age 16)
I think that's a myth. Some of the best athletes do lots of sexual things before their games.
I just wanted to let everyone know how to have a wet dream. I do not guarantee it will be successful, but it has worked twice for me. When you are about to go to sleep, masturbate hard and fast but stop when you are about to orgasm. Go to sleep. Sometime in the night you SHOULD wake up cumming but be careful how you will explain it to your parents if you live at home. I think this site is great. Thank you. (age 14)
Thanks for the tip. I probably had 80 wet dreams when I was living with my parents and never had to explain. I think parents understand, if they notice at all.
How much better is sex than masturbation? (age 14)
That's a matter of taste. Physically, masturbation feels better because you have total control. The thing about intercourse that makes it more appealing is that you have a partner to interact with.
It is taking too much time for me to masturbate and I am not enjoying it that much. What should I do? (age 15)
You might masturbate less frequently. It wouldn't take as long then and you'd probably enjoy it more. Try to find the frequency that you can enjoy.
I like to masturbate every day, 3 times a day. Is that problem? (age 30)
It's very high for your age. That much masturbation is undoubtedly keeping you from meeting potential sex partners. Why not cut back to once a day?
How are wet dreams related to sex in dreams? Does one come with the other, and how can I have more dreams in which I have sex? (age 14)
Wet dreams are not generally sex dreams, but they sometimes are. And not very many sex dreams result in nocturnal emission. You might do some research on dreams to learn how to influence their content.
I can't achieve erection by masturbation alone. I need help from porn and therefore I only masturbate in a sitting position. Is this gonna cause damage later? (age 13)
I don't think so, but you should work at not being dependent on porn. That's always a bad thing, especially at your age. Try to find ways to use your imagination.
Hi, I'm Marc. What are the good and bad effects of ejaculation? (age 16)
Hi Marc. The good ones are that it's good for keeping your sexual organs in shape and it helps you relax and sleep better. Some people say it also helps take their mind off sex. I don't know of any bad ones. Of course, anything good is bad in excess.
When I don't masturbate, I feel my concentration improves, especially after 1 week of no outlet. But then after masturbation, I lose my concentration and feel tired. I regain again after a buildup of semen. (age 33)
Not everyone is the same. I think most guys find it hard to concentrate when they haven't ejaculated in days.
When I masturbate and reach orgasm it seems like I am going to ejaculate but nothing comes out. Afterward I can feel this clear liquid that's oily and sticky. What is my problem? (age 13)
You didn't masturbate long enough to ejaculate. What's coming out is pre-cum. Presumably, if you had kept masturbating for another few minutes and maintained the right focus, you would have ejaculated.
I've been masturbating for over a year now about every other day and whenever I do, I get a full erection in 30 seconds or less. I was wondering if this is normal, and if not, how can I get a more gradual erection? (age 15)
It's very normal. Most guys want one faster, not more slowly. Once you get into your 20s, erections will come more slowly.
I have been masturbating since age five. I didn't ejaculate then but now I do. Why is this? I masturbate on the side of my bed. I have tried to do it the normal way but I can't. Please help. I love your site. (age 14)
You need to try harder. You might consider joining the online support group. You couldn't ejaculate until recently because your body didn't produce the components of semen (the ones that need to be ejaculated) until you reached puberty.
When I masturbate, before I ejaculate, it seems like my muscles in my groin tighten up. It feels good. Is this normal? (age 13)
Yes, and with proper control of those muscles, you can control your ejaculation.
When I started masturbating at age 12, I found it easier to do with my forefinger and middle finger on the underside of my penis with the thumb on the top. As my penis grew, I tried normal masturbation, but I find that the old way feels better. Is there anything wrong with this? (age 18)
You don't say what you're doing with your fingers in "the old way," but stroking -- the normal way -- seems to produce guys who adjust to intercourse most easily.
When masturbating, after a while if I get excited enough, a strange tense feeling crawls up my back and I can hardly move. I enjoy it. It goes away and precum arrives. Is this normal? (age 13)
I don't think too many people have experienced exactly that, but it sounds like fun. Might work at relaxing those back muscles, since they'll come in handy when you have sex when you're older.
I have tried every style in the book and I'm getting sick and tired of old styles. (age 15)
Your problem might be your need for variety. Most guys only masturbate one way -- the same way -- and enjoy it day after day, year in, year out. Using pictures might be one way to enhance the experience.
What does "variety" mean when you said any other way could be bad? (age 12)
I said that person's wanting variety was his problem for that very reason. A desire for variety could lead someone to masturbate in unhealthy ways.
I masturbate once every 2 days and when I ejaculate it only lasts 15 seconds. I want it to last longer. Is there any way to make the feeling longer? (age 17)
You're ahead of the game. For most males, it only lasts 8 seconds. You can make it last a little longer or more intense by holding it for a second or so right before you ejaculate.
When I ejaculate, it doesn't fly out of my penis; it just dripples out. Is this a problem and could you give me a few tips to improve the situation? (age 15)
No, I think you'll improve with experience. It helps to hold the semen in for a second right before you ejaculate. Then when you let go and ejaculate, KABLOOEY! Muscular control is essential for this.
When I masturbate I focus mostly on the head of my penis and after a while it starts hurting like a friction burn. Why does this happen? (age 18)
It is a friction burn. It's a good idea to touch the head as little as necessary or to use lubrication if you insist on rubbing the head.
How long does it usually take to reach orgasm? Sometimes I lose focus and it might take 30 minutes. Is that normal? (age 14)
You should be able to masturbate to orgasm in 5-10 minutes, perhaps less. It's good you're aware of the impact of losing your focus. When you've gone 20 minutes, it might be better to quit and try again later.
I started masturbating when I was about twelve and on many occasions would masturbate without fantasizing. I used to frequently, but not always, masturbate in the prone postion. I feel I have also masturbated compulsively at times (and occasionally in semi-public places.) Recently I have only been able to achieve a semi-erection although I have no problem reaching an orgasm. As you can imagine, this is extremely alarming and is causing me stress and a lack of confidence with girls. I now do not do it prone (thank you for the advice) and only masturbate three or four times a week. (age 17)
That's bad for your age. I think your problem stems from when you were masturbating prone and taught yourself to masturbate without an erection. You should make a point of only masturbating when you have a SERIOUS erection. If you did that for a couple of months, I think you would have retaught yourself not to try to have orgasms without an erection. Good luck.
I am very happy to say that your website has been giving good advice regarding masturbating. I masturbate before I go to sleep at night. As soon as I ejaculate I get very tired and I go to sleep and clean the mess in the morning. Can I continue doing this or should I stop? (age 17)
I don't see anything wrong with that.
When I masturbate I sit and slightly stretch my legs and squeeze my penis head and rub all of my penis. It only takes me 5-10 minutes to ejaculate and it only lasts for approximately 4-5 seconds. Is this normal? Maybe I'm scared to be caught masturbating. Usually I masturbate 3 times a week while my brother is sleeping. I'm scared that I wont last during intercourse because of my erection. (age 16)
You should only masturbate when you have an erection. Why not discuss masturbation with your brother? He probably does it too and would be relieved that you brought it up. Then you wouldn't have to be so afraid of getting caught.
My wife disagreed with me when I told her I produced more semen and with more force from the first time I started masturbating at age 11 to about 18. It does get less with age. Please tell her I'm right. Tom (age 35)
Tom, I'm not so sure you are right. The amount of semen ejaculated is more a function of the time since your last ejaculation than your age. And I think the force would be greater as you got more experienced and learned to control it better. Maybe doing some Kegel exercises would be the thing to bring your force back to what it used to be. May the force be with you!
For lubrication, is it OK to use spit, phlegm (like when your sick), and shampoo? Is it OK to simulate a vagina with something, and what could you use? (age 13)
Spit is a common lube for both experienced men and newcomers like you. I've never heard of phlegm as a lube, but what the hey? Shampoo is only a good lube if you can wash it off right away. I advise against simulating a vagina.
I have been masturbating for several years. I always let my ejacuate drip onto a piece of napkin or the bathroom floor. But hearing that some people rub it on their skin or leave it on the bed, I am curious, does semen leave a strong smell or stains? Do I have to clean up all the time? (age 14)
Yes. If you get it on your sheets, the person who launders them is apt to notice.
Is there such a thing as ejaculating too early? (age 15)
In life, no. In a sexual session, yes. When that happens, it's called premature ejaculation. The males who suffer from that need to work on making themselves last longer.
I masturbate 1 to 3 times a day, usually in the bathroom and sometimes in bed when my parents are gone. I enjoy masturbating but I want to have a more intense orgasm and do it safely. (age 13)
Masturbating more than once a day will almost guarantee a lack of intensity in orgasm. Try cutting back a little and you'll probably enjoy it more. You also need to worry less about your parents finding out. They almost certainly masturbate themselves and would probably be more worried if they found out you didn't masturbate than if they found out you did.
Does your first ejaculation mean you are done with puberty or are just starting? (age 16)
For most guys it probably comes closer to the start of puberty than the end; most guys are ejaculating before they need to shave, but there are also guys who are shaving for years before they ejaculate.
What is the definition of a male multiple orgasm? I masturbate at the high end of the scale at around 14 times a week. I've heard that most guys lose their erections after achieving orgasm but I stay hard and within two minutes, I can masturbate again. Is this weird in any way. By the way I love your site! (age 15)
Male multiple orgasm and female ejaculation are two hotly debated topics in sexual science. What you describe is not multiple orgasm and is not at all weird. Males have a refractory period after ejaculating during which they cannot have an erection. At your age, a refractory period of two minutes is not a bit rare. For men in their 20s, a refractory period of 20-30 minutes is typical. For men in their 80s, it might last days. True multiple orgasm would be when a male has an orgasm but does not ejaculate or lose his erection and keeps having intercourse or masturbating until he has one or more additional orgasms and then ejaculates.
According to my religion, masturbation is a sin, and I have never practiced it. I recently started it but I didn't ejaculate after doing it for 40 minutes. After that my genitals swelled and didn't get back in shape for 4-5 hours. Non-ejaculation worries me but I get wet dreams.and please tell me if the swelling is normal. (age 20)
You do practice masturbation. You just don't finish. The swelling isn't normal, but it's to be expected based on what you're doing. Either quit masturbating altogether or start finishing.
Do you lose sperm if you masturbate? (age 13)
Yes, that's the point. The sperm and semen come shooting out in a series of glorious contractions of the prostate gland. (But new sperm is constantly created to replace that sperm.)
Hi I am 13 1/2. I masturbated for the first time when I was 12. I have never had a wet dream but want to see how they are. Is there any way I can try to get one? Thanks and I love your site. It really helped me get deeper into masturbating.
I doubt you'll ever have a wet dream. Trying to bring one on is apt to be pointless. Just enjoy what you're doing now. It looks like you already are.
What is the average refractory period for 15-16 year olds? Mine is about 15 minutes. Is this because of low sex drive? I think I have multiple orgasms because sometimes (it's really hard to do though) I can have intense feelings like at orgasm a couple times before I ejaculate. Is it possible to have multiple orgasms but a long refractory period, and is there a way to decrease the refractory period? (age 16)
15 minutes isn't bad. Many guys your age have to wait a half hour or more. I doubt your sex drive is low or would have anything to do with it. I think it's possible to have a 15 minute refractory period even if you're multiorgasmic. I don't know how to decrease the refractory period. Give your body the rest it needs.
I started masturbating at about 12. I masturbate three ways 1) normal 2) face down 3) squeezing my penis with my hand on the outside of my pants while I am really erect. My question is, is it normal for my penis to be a bit flat from top to bottom and curve down when erect? Does this have anything to do with masturbation? (age 16)
It sounds a bit abnormal and could be caused by your atypical masturbation. Since you know how to masturbate normally, why not quit the other two ways?
I think your site is really great and it can really help teens like me get through these difficult years and be more comfortable with our bodies. I know it's helped me. Is it a bad idea to masturbate just by rubbing the head? Will it make it feel less pleasure? If so, will it be permanent or if I started doing it differently now, could it regain some sensitivity? (age 16)
The head is the most sensitive part, and doesn't need as much stimulation. In fact, overstimulating it makes it less sensitive for when you really need it. Ideally, you would concentrate on the less sensitive shaft, and touch the head only slightly (as little as necessary). The danger in getting habituated to having the head stimulated is that it doesn't get quite as much stimulation in intercourse as the shaft does. I think if you changed to working primarily on the shaft, you would have a return of sensitivity to the head. Why not give it a try?
When I masturbate sitting in a chair I usually ejaculate a little bit of semen, but when I masturbate in bed I don't ejaculate! What's the problem? (age 13)
I think you just need more practice.
What are we supposed to do with our unused hand during masturbation? I often switch hands and am able to reach orgasm with my left hand. I normally grab or tug the sheet or cover or pull on my pillow. Is it normal to want to be noisy during masturbation? I often feel the need to shout or groan from sheer pleasure. I greatly appreciate your site and what you do for teens. (age 15)
I think most guys hold the pictures or the mouse with their other hand. Both males and females often feel the need to vocalize upon orgasm.
I did a test of what makes you orgasm faster, dry masturbating or lubed masturbating, and lubed masturbating makes me orgasm faster. Does this happen with all males? If so, why? (age 13)
Probably most males reach orgasm faster with lube. This is because there is less friction and it is more comfortable when using lube. On the other hand, sometimes dry masturbating causes you to get stimulated faster even though there might be some chafing. It's good that you've taken a scientific approach, but you might want to take into consideration that you came faster because lube was something new to you.
Sometimes when I'm masturbating and even when I'm not I find that I have some semen that has come out. When this happens I sometimes don't even have an erection. What's going on? (age 18)
It's probably not semen but pre-cum, which can leak out whenever you're aroused. Usually after you have been aroused for a while.
Every time I masturbate, I moan really loudly. I'm fighting it but failing. I am afraid my mom would hear it sometime. It is really embarrassing just having that thought on my mind. How can I stop moaning? (age 19)
You might muffle it with a pillow. I bet your mother would understand.
I've been masturbating since I was 11. I'm 16 now but it takes me around 20 minutes to reach orgasm. I don't have TMS and am constantly thinking about my girlfriend when I masturbate. When I do reach a orgasm after about 20 minutes I have a tendency to contract the muscles in my penis that are used for urinating. Is this a bad thing?
It's good that you can last 20 minutes, but it shouldn't take you that long every time. Perhaps you could develop some other erotic fantasies besides your girlfriend? Contracting those muscles is not bad, but it shouldn't become a reflex with every ejaculation. I think you'll be fine.
How long does it usually take to climax? When I have pictures, it takes me 2 or 3 minutes, but when I don't, it takes me 10 minutes. Is this normal? (age 14)
Yes, those times are normal. You might try to last longer with the pictures.
Why is it that when I orgasm, it only oozes out. It doesn't squirt or shoot out. Is that normal? How can I get it to squirt? (age 16)
Lots of guys ooze, and they're OK. You can make it squirt a little better by holding it in for just a second with the same muscle you use to control the flow of urine. Hold it just before you ejaculate, and this will cause some more pressure to build up, and it will shoot more effectively when you let go.
I'm a 16 year old male and I recently found out that I can orgasm 4-5 times in one night. It takes longer after the first time. Is this normal that I can do this and what will my female partner think when I find one? I hope that I'm not weird or anything.
It is normal for it to take longer and for there to be less ejaculate each time. It's OK if you want to have intercourse that many times, but some females don't like to have sex that much in one night. If you find one that does, don't let your friends know! (But then a gentleman wouldn't talk anyway.)
I masturbate once a day sometimes two. I really want to stop. I am willing to jack off once a month to keep my semen fresh. How can I stop? I masturbate on camera because I get turned on a lot more. (age 13)
I don't think you should stop. Once a month isn't very much. You might try cutting down to once a week and see how that goes. If that gets too hard to handle, you can take comfort in knowing that most guys your age masturbate once or twice a day. The cam thing is definitely a loser. That could get you into big trouble. Nothing is ever completely erased from your computer, you know.
When I look at naked pictures, I sometimes urinate. Is this normal? (age 12)
I don't think you've quite learned the difference between sexual feeling and the urge to urinate. It helps to empty your bladder before masturbating.
How many times is considered too many times in a day for masturbation? (age 15)
When it starts to hurt. Most guys are satisfied with once or twice.
I recently started masturbating after reading about its health benefits, and I am 17. With all the people talking about masturbating since they were 13, I am eager to know whether I have been lagging behind.
Don't worry about that. I only started at 15 3/4, but have made up for lost time. Another way to think about it is that those guys who started at 9 or 10 are frequently already bored with masturbation and you have a lot of new and exciting things to discover.
Does a girl get more pleasure from her orgasms than a guy does from his? This is a question I've been pondering for a while. Whenever I see movies with sex it it, it always seems that the girl is much more into her orgasm. But men seem to much more into sex then women. So what is your opinion on this? (age 14)
I have to believe that the male orgasm is on balance stronger. But many women, especially those who have learned what they enjoy through masturbating, have very intense orgasms. While normal males have orgasms 100 percent of the time during sex, many women have orgasms less than half the time but still rate the experience as high on a 1-10 scale as a man. You shouldn't base your sexual opinions on movies. They are fake. I also think women are more obsessed with sex than men. If you look at women's magazines and TV programs designed for women and overhear women's private conversations, sex is much more prominent than in the parallels for men. Even Playboy only has a few pages about sex (plus some tantalizing pictures). Women's magazines scream very explicit sexual things on their covers.
I am 58 years old and gay. Many times guys want me to penetrate them, but I cannot get erect enough to even put the condom on, let alone penetrate them. Would it help if I decreased my frequency of masturbation and looking at web sites? I masturbate at least once per day.
Probably. It would be worth a try, at least. Might abstain from masturbating 3-4 days before an expected sexual encounter.
Would inserting the penis into a pillow be considered TMS? For a long time, I have been cutting a hole in a pillow and inserting my penis and thrusting. (age 23)
What you describe is a simulacrum. Thrusting into a simulacrum is TMS, just as thrusting into a pillow without a hole would be.
I stopped having sex and haven't masturbated for 2 weeks and can't have a wet dream. Is this normal? (age 22)
Unfortunately, yes. Trying to bring on a wet dream at your age is a waste of time. Your body is used to the stimulation it gets from masturbation and intercourse.
I would like to know if masturbating on a regular basis (twice a day, 5-6 days a week) desensitizes your penis in some way. I've been masturbating since I was 13, and I can't achive an orgasm from oral sex. I figured that maybe masturbation was to blame. (age 31)
The penis is naturally less sensitive the more recently it's been that you've had an orgasm and gets more sensitive as the interval gets longer. You should abstain from orgasm for 3-4 days before trying something new. Why not give that a try in advance of your next opportunity for oral sex?
Sometimes when I masturbate, I use the stop and go method, which means I will masturbate for a while and stop when I feel I am about to ejaculate. When I reach orgasm, what causes me to shout out loud or scream? Is this normal for masturbating? (age 31)
Yes, and it's also normal for those who use the "don't stop and go straight through" method.
AT WHAT AGE SHOULD YOU STOP MASTURBATING. I still do and have all my life and I still enjoy it. (age 89)
I don't think you need to ever stop.
You said applying pressure to the penis is TMS, right? Is humping a type of TMS, because sometimes it helps me arouse myself. (age 13)
No, applying pressure to the penis (yourself) for sexual pleasure is masturbating. TMS is masturbating in the prone position by thrusting into or against something. Humping is a form of TMS. You shouldn't have to hump to get aroused at your age.
Is it OK to rub a pillow against my penis while lying on my back? (age 13)
It's very close to TMS. I think you should learn to use your hands.
I have developed a habit during masturbation of rhythmically contracting my PC muscles. I have found I am unable to masturbate by just stroking my penis. I must contract those muscles. Will this become a problem during sexual intercourse? (age 16)
Yes, and also during masturbation sooner or later. You've developed a habit, and now you need to break it. Squeezing the PC muscle at the right moment can be useful in delaying ejaculation, but doing it frequently during the experience will not do any good.
When I masturbate, why does I feel I like I need to urinate? (age 15)
That's normal. It's a good idea to urinate before you masturbate. You might also feel like it afterward. That's also normal. Urinating after ejaculating flushes unejaculated semen out of the urethra.
What is TMS and how can males catch it? What are the symptoms and the side effects of TMS? There was a time when I masturbated face down and rubbed my penis with things about 4 times. Can I catch TMS because of just doing this? (age 15)
TMS is masturbating in the prone (face down) position. You don't catch it; you develop it. Eventually you're apt to have trouble erecting and delay in ejaculating. You might not be able to have intercourse successfully. If you only masturbated prone four times, I doubt you have TMS. But yes, doing that habitually will give you TMS. It's easy to be cured at your age.
Is there anyway to make masturbation last longer besides stopping for a few seconds before orgasm? (age 13)
Yes. By controlling what's in your mind, you can keep stroking but these strokes will not lead inevitably toward orgasm. The old joke about guys extending their time by thinking about the batting order of their favorite baseball team is really true. When you've had enough masturbating and are ready to orgasm, then you can start thinking about what really leads you in that direction.
How long does an orgasm take? I watched a movie and a guy in it was telling his friends that his longest period of sex lasted for 14 hours and he had an orgasm for 2 hours without any break. (age 13)
An orgasm lasts 8-10 seconds. Did the guy in the movie say how big the biggest fish he caught was?
I'm a 16 year old guy and everything I've read says that I should have had at least one wet dream by now. But as far as I know I haven't! I thought you wake up after having a wet dream. Is this true? Then I have never had a wet dream. Is this normal?
Only about 60 percent of adult males have had wet dreams. The rest started masturbating before they could ever have one. If you had a wet dream, you would know. Even if you didn't wake up right away, the semen would be around as evidence when you finally woke up.
I get an erection about five times during the day. But I'm not even thinking about anything sexual. I will be in class or something and I will get an erection. How do I stop this? Will masturbation help? (age 14)
That's very normal. You'll miss those spontaneous erections a lot when you're older. I don't know that masturbation will make any difference, except that someone who doesn't masturbate at all might get one or two more a day than someone who does.
I haven't had a wet dream but I don't know if I can masturbate to orgasm if I haven't had a wet dream, so can I? (age 13)
Yes, you can. About 40 percent of males masturbate before having a wet dream, and so they never have one. You're at the age where you can decide to experience a wet dream by not masturbating until after you've had one. Older guys don't get to make this choice, because once they get into the habit of masturbating, they're apt to never have a wet dream again.
Before I masturbate, I always tell myself that I will do it twice, but after the first time, I'm out of the mood. Is there any way I can do it again without going out of the mood? What is an average number of times for someone my age to masturbate? (age 15)
The reason you can't do it again is because you're satisfied. You can do it again in half an hour, perhaps sooner. Most guys your age who aren't having sexual intercourse masturbate at least once a day.
I've been masturbating regularly since age 14, usually once or twice a day. I was able to perform both in sex and I could keep an erection when receiving oral sex. Over the past 6 months, I've noticed a severe decrease in my sexual performance, but only when wearing a condom. I've tried all the brands/materials/sizes/textures already. I just can't seem to keep an erection with a condom on; even when I'm totally horny and focused, I get soft and small within 5-10 minutes and no matter what I do, I can't get it back up again. One time when I had this problem, I took the condom off and continued raw and I was able to keep it up and get an orgasm. This problem is really embarrassing. The only thing I've noticed that I've done differently in the past year is masturbate by rubbing the underside of my penis back and forth on my right thigh. It feels really good compared to the standard jerk motion. Also, I've been masturbating over the past few years without lube. I usually just grip the thing and start jerking it. Could this be killing some of my nerves or what? (age 19)
Your atypical masturbation is the likely cause of your problem. TMS and other non-standard masturbation methods desensitize your penile nerves. You need to cut that out and go back to "the standard jerk motion." It would also be a good idea to abstain from masturbating for 2-3 days before an expected sexual encounter. You don't have to use lube, but try to use as little force as necessary.
Follow-up: I have started to masturbate normally again, and have loosened my grip. I've found I can achieve an orgasm this way, which is good. However, I tend to get my stiffest, strongest erections only by looking at movies or pictures. I can get it up only fantasizing, but it takes longer. Is this natural? Since I've been damaging my penile nerves for the last year or so with TMS, what, besides "normal, healthy" masturbation, can I do to recover the sensitivity of my nerves? Did I permanently damage myself? How long do you think would it take for me to recover from my condition and enjoy sex again? By the way, your web site is the only one so far giving me useful information regarding my problem, and I appreciate your help! When I recover, let's have a beer? (age 19)
I'm sure you'll be cured in a matter of weeks, well before you can have beer. It's normal to reach orgasm more easily with visual aids. I only suggest to guys that they masturbate at least once or twice a month using only fantasy in order to keep this method alive for them. I don't think you've done any permanent damage to your nerves or anything. The process of abstaining and quitting TMS is all you need to do to recover.
Is it normal to masturbate 3 to 4 times a day? (age 18)
That's quite high for any age. You might cut back and spend more time trying to meet a partner.
I've read through most of your questions and answers, but I didn't find the weekly whacking off limit? (age 15)
I don't think there is one. Most guys your age do it 8-10 times a week, but some do it much more often.
I started masturbating a few years ago, and my first ejaculation was the best one I ever had. All the ones since then have been great but not as good. Is there any way I could get my ejaculations to give me a better feeling? (age 14)
If they're all great, I think you're doing pretty well. You've obviously gained greater ejaculatory control with practice. I think you might be remembering that first one too fondly. You might try holding it for just a second before you ejaculate to let the pressure build.
How can I masturbate longer? I usually ejaculate after just 5 minutes. Is there any way I can extend my pleasure? (age 14)
When you feel you're about to reach orgasm, try to think of something to distract you for just a minute. Then you'll be up to six minutes, and next you can try for seven, and so on. Even if you don't try this method, I think you'll be taking longer soon as you get more experienced.
Tonight I was getting a bunch of images and stuff when I masturbated. I was really relaxed and had lotion. As soon as I started, I felt it coming, and within 10 seconds I ejaculated, with all of the regular aftereffects. This has never happened before. Is this an effect of masturbating too much or premature ejaculation? Thank you SO much for this AWESOME website!!! (age 14)
If it only happened once, it's probably nothing to worry about. It's better if you can last longer, so when you felt it coming, you should have tried to delay. If you're masturbating too much, I think it would take you longer and not shorter to come. Just about every guy has had an experience where he was really excited when he started masturbating and came very quickly. You shouldn't worry.
Sometimes touching the tip during masturbation actually helps stimulate me. Is that normal? (age 21)
The tip is extra sensitive, which is why most guys avoid touching it. It is apt to be painful if you touch it too much.
I used to masturbate in the prone position until I noticed I wasn't getting full erections, so I looked on the Internet and found out masturbating in this postition was incorrect and caused damage, so I stopped. I found it relatively easy to stop and have been masturbating in the correct way ever since (around 1-2 years ago) but my erections are the same. Do sufferers of TMS recover fully? I have no problems with ejaculation or orgasms. Also, around 2 years ago I got a hard spot on the underside of my foreskin and shortly afterward, a band of hard, white skin appeared. I have no problem pulling the foreskin over the head of my penis but it becomes tight although I can get it most of the way down. The white spot is almost completely gone now but the band of white skin still remains. Will it ever go away and is there anything that can be done for it, either by myself or by seeing a doctor? (age 15)
It's good that you quit TMS. It's easier to quit the younger you are. Your erections are probably pretty normal by now. They might not seem like it to you. You might try abstaining for 3-4 days and see if they get harder. The time since your last orgasm can make a difference. I don't know about the white spot you describe. It would be a good idea to show your doctor.
I'd like to say you have a very informative site. I'm 15 years and 10 months old, and I don't masturbate. I do notice now and then a yellow stain in my underwear. Could this be the built-up prostate fluid ejaculating while I sleep, and if it is, is it OK not to masturbate? I also don't think that I've fully matured yet. Could this mean I'm simply maturing quite a bit later than most people and should expect masturbation to follow before long?
Yes, the yellow stain is the result of wet dreams. Most males are aware when they're having them. Very, very few males wait for masturbation "to follow," and instead make a conscious effort to masturbate as soon as they figure out (or are told) how to. It's OK to not masturbate, but it's better for your body if you ejaculate frequently. New research shows that males who masturbate 5 times a week or more when they're young have a greatly reduced chance of prostate cancer when they're older.
If you have a female partner that wants to have sex every day (I seriously doubt there is one though) and assuming you have sex every day too, would it stop the desire for masturbation? (age 14)
I seriously doubt it too! Theoretically, someone who had sex every day would never want to masturbate, but surveys show that people who have sex the most also masturbate quite frequently. As a practical matter, even a partner who wants sex every day will occasionally be sick or tired or away or menstruating. Many men masturbate when their partners are unavailable for sex under these circumstances.
I've heard from my friend that the sensation of masturbating while wearing a condom is good. I've tried it and enjoy it. I masturbate with a condom on more than I masturbate without it. Is this okay? (age 20)
I think so.
Is baby oil a good lube? (age 15)
It's OK for masturbating, but it would be better to get used to a water-based lube now since you can't use an oil-based lube when with a partner, because oil degrades condoms.
I´ve read your page, and I think I masturbate compulsively. What can I do about it? Also, how can I get back my penis sensitivity due to doing a lot of masturbation? (age 27)
If you think you're compulsive, you need to cut back on your masturbation. The abstinence program on the main page is designed to help TMS guys regain their penile sensitivity, and it will work for anyone else too.
I masturbate regularly but now I've started bodybuilding. Can they go together? (age 22)
Yes, very well.
I saw a movie were a guy had a very intense orgasm by the girl putting her finger up his anus. Is this possible? If so how and why? (age 27)
You shouldn't believe everything you see in porn, but it's possible to have a very intense orgasm through massage of the prostate gland through the rectum. The person performing the massage needs to know what they are doing. It's more of a "reflex orgasm" and doesn't include all of the build-up that one normally has before an orgasm.
I have been masturbating from the middle of grade 9. I have masturbated several thousand times. Every time I have masturbated, I got used to doing with my hand. I now found out that it is the correct way to do it. I read on your site that using the force of your hand during orgasm is wrong. I use my hand to make sure that the sperm does not mess out. Will I get TMS? (age 17)
No. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. The problem is when guys use force to keep the semen from coming out, usually by putting pressure on the perineum. You're doing fine. Keep up the good work.
I only masturbate by lying on my back on my bed and squeezing my penis in between my thighs. Is this an OK way to masturbate or will it cause problems? (age 18)
It will definitely cause problems. Your penis isn't supposed to point that direction when it's erect, and the feeling you produce can't be replicated in intercourse.
I masturbate once or twice a week yet I can't ejaculate while doing it. The only times I can ejaculate is during my sleep. Am I doing something wrong or has my body just not fully developed enough to be able to ejaculate? (age 16)
Obviously you're able to ejaculate, because you have wet dreams. Many males who have never had a wet dream envy you. If you learn to masturbate to orgasm, you will probably never have another one. The thing you need to do is focus on a particular fantasy that arouses you -- most guys say that pictures help -- and stroke with increasing intensity as you get closer to ejaculating.
Is gripping your penis with your thumb in the back and your index & middle fingers to the front, making a v-shape and rubbing up and down the front of your dick, a harmful way to masturbate? I can almost ejaculate the normal way, but it only works until I get a full erection, and no further. Also, I have had a fetish since early childhood. Whenever I see a hot female's spine show through her back, I am sexually aroused. Even the sight of a woman/girl with a naked back can give me an erection. I don't like the sight of a bony back at all; grosses me out like it would anyone else. But, when a hot girl of athletic physique is showing off the small of her back and spine, I get very horny. Usually I fantasize that I'm rubbing my penis up and down a slightly curved spine, or massaging a women's lower back. On the Internet, I have a very hard time searching for a back/spine fetish, and I question whether it even exists as I rarely suitable pics that stimulate my fetish. Is this kind of partialism normal at all? It can't be much stranger than other fetishes. (age 16)
I don't know that the way you describe is harmful in itself, but it isn't good that you can't masturbate the normal way. I would cut back on your method until you can do it to orgasm normally. I don't see anything wrong with your fetish, but if it's the only thing that turns you on, then it's a problem. Not all women would be understanding if you told them what you'd like to do to them sexually.
I started getting erections at age 11 and started masturbation at age 12 and have enjoyed it every time. Does masturbation have more effect during an erection or without and was it good for me to get erections at that age? (age 13)
You should only masturbate when you have an erection. That's how you want your body to respond. Erections are good at any age.
I have been masturbating for a long time now and for some time I have been doing it wrong. Can this cause the tip of my penis to not fill up with blood? When I get an erection it seems like the head is still limp. (age 19)
First you need to stop doing it wrong. Then you are apt to notice an improvement in your penile blood flow.
I have been masturbating since I was 11 or 12. It has became a habit and I want to stop but I can't. I get very anxious and scared when I'm about to have sex. This is because I know I am going to come fast and have done in the past. I believe this is from masturbating too much. I try to stop but end up doing it again. Is there any truth to what I'm saying or is it all in my head? (age 19)
It's the opposite. You're less likely to have premature ejaculation if you masturbate frequently. Next time, try masturbating 3-4 hours before you attempt intercourse and see if it makes a difference. You should enjoy your masturbation habit and not try to stop. Not very many men have succeeded.
I masturbate a fair bit, since I was about 11, but I have never had a wet dream. Is this something to worry about? (age 16)
No. Most males have never had a wet dream. Most, like you, start masturbating before they can ever have one.
When you have a sex, how long does it take to have a second round? (age 25)
The refractory period is apt to be half an hour to an hour at your age.
Is it unhealthy to masturbate by squeezing my penis between my thighs? I have never had sex with a partner. I have never lasted over a minute. (age 18)
That is bad. Masturbating between your thighs is not only atypical, but it also bends your erection to an unnatural and damaging position. You need to learn to masturbate normally, and I think you will gain greater control over your ejaculation so it will take more than a minute.
I read in so many books that it is OK to masturbate, but not excessively. What can happen if you do it excessively? (age 15)
Excessive is kind of normal at your age. When you get to the point where you're having intercourse, if you're masturbating too often, it will make it difficult for you to perform in a satisfactory manner with your partner.
I congratulate you. You've put together an informative site that provides information not otherwise readily obtainable. I have always had problems with sexual intercourse. I was tested by a urologist who said I had less than normal sensitivity. But until reading your site, I did not know it was from TMS, which was the initial form of masturbation I practiced. I later discovered the "normal" hand method and eventually lost interest in TMS, but it seems not soon enough. (age 67)
Thank you for your comments. If you had discovered normal masturbation before you had started having intercourse, I think the legacy of TMS might not have stayed with you long.
You mentioned how a man should only masturbate when he gets an erection, because that's how your body wants to respond. This is my first week of school, and with all the hot frosh chicks this year as well as the usual pretty faces, I've gotten stiff once or twice. How should I respond to erections that happen at inopportune moments? Whacking off in the school bathroom? Usually my erections at school end in a few minutes. Does this mean that I should masturbate as soon as I get home regardless of erection in order to make up for the "incomplete" erections at school? B.T.W., your site's awesome! (age 16)
I said a male should masturbate only when he has an erection, not that he should masturbate whenever he has an erection. Using the school bathroom for such business is not a good idea, but I suspect that on any school day, more than a few of your classmates are masturbating as soon as they get home.
I learned to masturbate normally, starting at around 15. However, I've always had a body pillow which I would hug and put one leg over and inevitably rub my penis against at night. I would basically pretend it was a girl. I was never able to achieve orgasm with the pillow, no matter how hard I tried, until recently. I always thought this more closely resembled real sex, so I thought it was preferable to do it this way. Then i saw your site. Is this rubbing of the penis against the body pillow also TMS? I can still masturbate normally, so does that mean it has not had as bad an affect on me? (age 25)
Yes, humping a body pillow is TMS. It's good that you aren't habituated to masturbating with it. I think you'll be OK if you just give that up for good.
Is rubbing the head of the penis with the thumb pathological? You've stated on the web site that it probably is, but is there any other place that says that also? (age 25)
I don't know how pathological, or what other sites say, but it gives you more stimulation than you need. The secret to masturbating is to use as little force as necessary to produce orgasm.
I masturbate on my bed face down and usually fall asleep after that. Is that the wrong way? Will I ever have kids? (age 18)
That's the way known as TMS on this site. You should unlearn that way of masturbating. Your fertility isn't directly threatened, but guys who masturbate with their hands have an easier time having sex with women and getting them pregnant.
I've heard that an orgasm can be induced by stimulating the prostate, and that it's much less work than masturbating. Is this true? How is it possible? (age 16)
Not an orgasm, but mere ejaculation can be triggered that way. As I've said many times, ejaculation without orgasm is not that much fun. This method is mostly used by doctors when confronted with a patient having prostate trouble who hasn't ejaculated in a while. It isn't practical as a method of masturbating, and masturbating by hand is a lot more fun.
You advocate masturbation as NATURAL thing for males to do. You claim that the negative reputation given to masturbating is just a result of years of cultural influence. But it is also NATURAL to feel shameful about it or disscussing it in public. The first time I masturbated, I did not even know what it was and I was never told anything negative about it but I felt awful afterward. The same argument goes for those who advocate nudity for its naturalness. Why do humans feel naturally ashamed of their nakedness or shall we say, naturally develop over history a shamefulness? Surely that was natural. (age 20)
Ah, but I don't say guilt about masturbation is solely the result of cultural influence. I say that it is inbred into people to get them to find a partner so the species can live. One benefit of guilt over nudity is that it leads people to share their bodies only with their intimate partners.
How can you make your ejaculation stronger and go farther? (age 16)
Hold it in for a just a second right before you ejaculate and the pressure that builds up will make it stronger and shoot farther.
It takes me 40+ minutes to reach orgasm. Is that a problem? I have no distractions. (age 13)
No. I think you're learning.
When I masturbate, I have to stretch my legs out and force the muscles out of my thighs to have an orgasm. Is this normal? (age 15)
No, but a lot of guys do it, especially those recovering from Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome (TMS). You're better off if you can teach yourself not to do that. Some guys say it's easier if you place your feet together sole to sole.
I read your Young Man's Guide. It was really good, but I am confused where it told how to masturbate. Do you move your fist up and down? Or are you supposed to move your penis? I'm not sure but I think it said to stroke it in an up and down fashion. Did it mean to stroke the penis with your fist or your other hand? Also, could you recommend some lubricants? Thanks a lot! Your website rocks! I'd be lost without it!
I meant to move your fist. I don't recommend any specific brands, but a water-based lube like K-Y Liquid or Astroglide is best.
After I ejaculate, I keep masturbating and this yellow liquid comes out in a great burst after a while. Is this normal? (age 16)
No. You're supposed to want to stop when you ejaculate. The yellow liquid might be urine that's leaking as a result of your overdoing it.
I'm 12 years old and I've been masturbating for almost two years. When can I expect to ejaculate? Sometimes you tell guys that they won't do it until they're about 13 but other times you say it's not a problem until they're 15. I really couldn't talk to my parents about this. I don't think they'd understand. And I don't think I could look at them the same if they knew I masturbate. Sometimes I look at muscular men modeling tight underwear without their shirts on and while I'm watching this I get an erection. But other times in school I'm thinking about girls and I get a slightly weaker erection. I really don't want to be gay and since I get hard from thinking about girls, I thought maybe I was getting the erections because I want to look like those guys because I'm so out of shape. Could you help me figure this out?
Most guys are ejaculating at or before age 13. I tell them they don't need to see a doctor about it until they're 15. I think your parents (at least your dad) would understand perfectly. You shouldn't worry so much about your sexual preference right now. You can enjoy looking at both. It will be more clear in a few years.
I have been masturbating for about a year, but I do not know if you can call it that because I have never had an orgasm. (age 14)
I call it that if you are trying to advance sexual arousal, which you obviously are. Don't worry. Your day is coming soon.
When you say that girls are turned on by a "touch," does this mean a touch on the skin, on the genital area, or anywhere? If it doesn't matter who the partner is, is it the same if a girl touches them? When a guy thinks a girl is attractive, he has an urge to have sex with her. When a girl thinks a guy is attractive, is it the same? (age 14)
There are no absolutes here, but males are generally aroused by what they see, as you describe, and females are generally aroused by being touched. Touches in the genital area would not be welcome until they've been warmed up by touches wide of the genitals. Her mental state is also important, so if she is not attracted to the person, the touch would be less likely to arouse her.
After someone has ejaculated, how long does it take before he can ejaculate again? (age 14)
At your age, about 15 minutes. It takes longer as you get older.
Is it unhealthy to not masturbate? (age 27)
Yes. You need to ejaculate regularly to empty your sexual fluids and keep your organs in good shape. Going without ejaculating for a long time can cause prostate trouble.
I've been trying to have sex for a few months now and just can't maintain an erection like I used to. I've received oral sex but can't orgasm. (age 15)
I think it's in your head. You have to stop trying so hard. Just relax. Perhaps you don't really want to be sexually active. Might wait until it feels right.
I recently found my fiancée masturbating in her sleep. I so hurt and confused. It is tearing us apart. I can't get her to masturbate when she's awake.
It doesn't necessarily mean she's dissatisfied with you. It would probably help to wake her when you see she's doing it. It would also help if you didn't put pressure on her to masturbate for you.
I don't masturbate. Can it harm me? (age 20)
Your body is designed for sexual response. Failure to achieve it when you're young can compound the difficulty adjusting to it later. Also, failure to ejaculate frequently can cause chronic problems with your prostate gland and other private parts.
How can I make masturbation as enjoyable as it was the 1st month I did it? Now it does not feel as great (but it is still good). (age 14)
It's sad that you're already bored! You might try doing it less and you'd enjoy it more. If you quit for about a week, when you finally did it again, it might be the best ever.
I am 21 and I have never masturbated. I HAVE grabbed my penis when I had an erection, but have never gotten semen to come out because I never knew how. I have been having wet dreams since I was 15 or so. I get them at least a few times a week, although they have slowed down lately. I think it is because I am on a diet. My friends were talking to me about masturbating, so I looked it up on the Internet and came up with your site. Now I am getting scared. Is it very unhealthy for me not to masturbate? Is it enough to get rid of fluids with just wet dreams? I do not want to start masturbating because I find it repulsive, and I heard that I will stop having wet dreams, which I enjoy very much. What do you advise?
I wonder if you don't protest too much. Nevertheless, I will take your statement at face value and respond accordingly. Your diet makes little or no difference in having wet dreams. If you are really having them several times a week, then you are not in danger of getting the problems caused by infrequent ejaculation. It is correct that if you start masturbating, you will cease to have wet dreams. Given a choice, most men would rather masturbate, because then they get to control when they have orgasms, and most choose to have them more frequently than they were having wet dreams. And since you ask what I advise, I advise you to masturbate, because that is how people learn to respond sexually. Most males regard masturbation as one of the greatest joys of life, and you will probably regret that you waited so long to try.
When I masturbate, I grip the bottom part of my penis and then rub the top part with my wrist until I have an orgasm. Is this normal? (age 13)
No. You practice an idiosyncratic method that might make it hard for you to adapt to a partner someday. It would be good if you could quit that method and learn to masturbate the typical way. The abstinence program on my site for males with TMS could help you quit your method too.
When I masturbate I have to stop before I'm about to ejacualate. Why is this? (age 12)
It's because you're learning.
When I have an orgasm it shoots out all over the place. What is the best way to catch it all? Will it calm down as I get older? (age 13)
You might cup your other hand in place. It probably won't calm down, but you'll get used to it.
I used to masturbate very frequently using my boxers because I liked the way it felt. Now I feel I have damaged skin and I am embarrassed to be naked in front of females due to the redness and difference in the skin. Is there any way I can go about making it better? (age 22)
It's good you stopped masturbating with the boxers. The penis is normally redder than the skin around it. Most females wouldn't even notice. Don't worry about it.
You say that one should masturbate by using a loose fist, but I masturbate holding my penis as if it were a cup, only smaller since the penis is smaller. Is this TMS? (age 14)
No. That sounds perfectly fine.
How long can an orgasm last? Is it possible to get it going for more than a minute or two or more? Sometime it finishes so fast that I feel it is not enough. (age 19)
Eight to ten seconds is typical. I don't think you'll ever have one lasting more than 20 seconds. Try to enjoy it while you're having it. That's what everyone does.
You say on the TMS page to avoid having erections when abstaining from masturbating. How can I do that? (age 19)
Don't worry if you have spontaneous erections. But try not to do things that will bring an erection on (e.g., looking at nude photos, staring at scantily clad people, etc.).
When I was a teen and masturbated every day, I was in the habit of grabbing my foreskin just prior to ejaculation in order to not soil my bed. I would go drain the semen in the bathroom after I came. That routine continued until one day when I felt the flow of the semen being forced backwards. I must have pinched too tightly on that occasion. It was a very unsettling feeling. I just knew that I had broken something. My ejaculations have never been right since. They never squirted after that day; they just sort of trickle out. The worst thing about it is that the feeling of release doesn't happen. What damage did I do to myself? (age 33)
I don't think you did anything. It's all in your head. Most guys have experienced retrograde ejaculation at least once. Some make it a regular habit and are able to cease the practice before it does harm. Don't worry about it, and that should make a big difference.
I have been masturbating prone since I was about 11. Recently I have masturbated sitting at my computer by lightly, rhythmically squeezing the shaft of my penis by wrapping my hand around the shaft and using my thumb to push my penis into my other fingers (I'm trying to describe this as specifically as possible), which I prefer to the normal "jacking off" method. I want to know if this method is still harmful, because it seems very similar to the TMS method in that a different pressure is being applied to the penis, although it does not feel as harsh as humping my bed. (age 19)
I don't think what you describe is as harmful as TMS, but the normal method approximates the feeling of intercourse more closely than what you describe. It's good that you've diversified beyond TMS, but I think it would be better if you could learn typical masturbation.
I masturbate regularly, usually every other day. I have kept this up for nearly ten years now. To avoid clean-up, 99% of the time, I reach my hand below my scrotum and apply pressure to the perineum. This stops all release of semen, while still allowing me to orgasm. My question, is, will this damage anything? I never have aches or pains from this. (age 24)
That is a dangerous practice called retrograde ejaculation. You're diverting the ejaculation into your bladder. The pressure you put on the perineum can damage the nerves and blood vessels that flow through that area. Just keep an old shirt or a box of tissue handy and don't do that any more.
I have masturbated for 2 years, and now I don't feel pleasure on it, only a need to do it. Is this normal? (age 14)
No. That would be compulsion. Try to do it only when you can enjoy it.
I find that when I masturbate, the faster I move my hand, the easier it is to reach orgasm . I have gotten into the habit of moving really fast, even when I am not completely erect, because like this I can reach orgasm even without an erection. I have never had sex with a partner but was wondering if this practice will make it harder for me to reach orgasm with a partner, since I could not possibly move that fast during sex. (age 21)
You have two bad habits you need to break: Masturbating without an erection, and masturbating as fast as you can. Try to use as little force as necessary.
What body chemistry is going on after orgasm? I feel so much better after orgasm if I've had a tense day or feel stressed. What chemicals are released and what do they do? (age 25)
Those chemicals are called endorphins and they cause a sense of euphoria or pleasure. One of the most powerful is called oxytocin. It causes the bonding that occurs between partners after intercourse. It is even theorized to help the partners lie still to make conception more likely and sleep easier. These chemical releases don't happen when the man loses the orgasm just before ejaculating, which is one reason why it is so unenjoyable when that happens.
I have masturbated open fisted since I was around 13, and quite often with a towel or something covering my penis. When I try to masturbate normally the head of my penis is too sensitive. I've never really tried more than a minute or so because it's so much easier for me to do it with my hand open. Should I force myself to masturbate normally so that sex will be more enjoyable? Also, my butt hurts sometimes after I masturbate. It generally goes away in less than 30 minutes, but sometimes it lasts longer or happens when I haven't masturbated. What's the problem? (age 25)
It would be better to use a closed (but loose) fist. Try to stroke your shaft and stay off the head as much as possible. I think you're tensing your butt while you masturbate. Make a conscious effort to not do that.
Is it okay to masturbate into a pillow when lying on your back? Will that cause TMS? Also, is 15 an age too late to stop TMS? I use both methods, but I'm completely dropping TMS after seeing your site.
It's very easy to get cured at 15. I advise against the pillow, but it's not TMS unless you're thrusting into it.
Is it good to masturbate with a condom? (age 13)
You'll have to try it to see if you like it. Just about every guy has tried it, and about 10 percent use one regularly for masturbation, according to surveys for this web site.
I usually stand up or sit on a toilet when masturbating, and I use both hands. Anything wrong with any of my habits? (age 17)
I have been masturbating since age 10 and it's always been the same. I wear an old pair of boxer shorts and rub EXTREMELY fast on the underside of the shaft through the shorts while sitting up. Now I am 21 and find it VERY hard to have an orgasm during sex. It hasn't mattered before because all of my sexual experiences (4 times) had been one-night stands with women I'd never see again. Now I have a girlfriend that I really like a lot. We've tried having sex 5 times and I haven't finished yet. She is HORRIFIED and I'm pretty embarrassed as well. Could this be due to my atypical masturbation technique? I've never masturbated prone, but should I try the same remedies you've outlined for TMS? Please help me. She's gone for a week for the holidays and I hope to be able to fix this by the time she gets back.
Yes, I suspect your atypical masturbation is to blame. The same program that cures men of TMS will help you. Don't expect to be cured in a week. You might do well to tell her what the problem is and let her know it's not her fault.
How do you use lube? Does masturbation feel better with it, or without it? (age 13)
Most males apply a few drops to the palm of their hand and/or their penis. It might feel different at first, but most people find that lube makes for a better overall experience in the long run.
What is the average distance of an ejaculation? (age 16)
A couple of inches is pretty good. Of course, some droplets splatter farther, but that is from the motion of your hand more than the ejaculation itself. More splatter goes in the direction of the hand used to masturbate. (I wonder how long until this comes up on CSI.)
Is it safe to use vegetable oil as a lubricant during masturbation? (age 16)
I don't know how something that's safe to eat or drink would be unsafe to rub on your skin. Even so, a water based lube would be better.
When I masturbate, I hold my penis and tightly push down instead of holding it lightly and rubbing it up and down. Is this unusual? (age 16)
I think so. The guys who have the least trouble in sex are those who masturbate most like other people.
I hear other people say they squirt their semen out. but when I masturbate only about a drop comes out. Why? (age 16)
The average ejaculate volume is about a teaspoon. I don't think anyone ejaculates as much as people have led you to think they do.
When I started masturbating it was more enjoyable and fun than it is now. If I stop masturbating for a month then start again, will I feel the same way I did about masturbation as when I started? (age 14)
I think you'll feel you wasted a month.
Since I got divorced 2 years ago, I have been masturbating a lot every day and I can't seem to stop and I am having trouble keeping a hard erection now every time, both with someone and even to masturbate. I went to the doctor and they ran some test and said there was nothing physically wrong and gave me some pills like Viagra to get my confidence back and they work great. But when I stop taking them I can get a satisfactory erection for a couple of days and then I am back to the same deal. Could it be that I am masturbating too much? (age 24)
I think you are. And a lot of the problem is in your head. Viagra doesn't last for "a couple of days," so some of those great erections are just the natural you. Try masturbating less for a few weeks -- cut down to every other day -- and see if it makes a difference.
Sometimes when I ejaculate, it is very watery, and sometimes it is very solid, almost like Jello. Are both of these normal, and what would account for the difference? I think it is more solid when I have not masturbated for a longer time. (age 20)
Prostate fluid especially gets thicker as it ages. That's the biggest reason.
How are guys able to masturbate when they are not lying in bed, like standing in the shower or sitting in the bathroom. I can do it fine in bed, but I have not been able to do it when I am not lying down and completely relaxed. Do you have any tips for learning to masturbate while standing or sitting? Can most guys do it this way, and is it useful to learn for different sexual positions in the future? (age 20)
Males masturbate in the bathroom for convenience and privacy reasons. It is of questionable value in translating to intercourse. Anyone ought to be able to masturbate that way. You might try sometime when you are extremely aroused.
What problems can result from ejaculating semen onto your stomach? (age 22)
I'm not aware of any, other than you want to clean it up thoroughly. It would be embarrassing if people saw your shirt stuck to you there.
How long does an ejaculation usually last? I have ejaculated many times before but never had a wet dream. Is this normal? (age 14)
It takes 8-10 seconds to ejaculate. If you're already in the habit of making yourself ejaculate (i.e., masturbating), you'll probably never have a wet dream.
I do not feel I have gone through puberty yet. I was wondering if it would be a good idea to get my hormone levels checked? (age 14)
I suggest waiting until you're 15 before doing that.
Is the time for one to reach orgasm the same in masturbation and intercourse? (age 17)
In terms of pure physiology, yes, but in the real world people take longer to have intercourse because they are trying to please their partners sexually and because they're trying to have a good time and therefore make it last longer. In masturbation, too often people are simply trying to get it over with and come as quickly as they can.
I have a fraternal twin brother and he started puberty about half a year ago and I haven't yet, and I am 5 minutes older than he is. I thought twins were supposed to grow the same. How come we are different? (age 13)
Fraternal twins are not really twins. They are just siblings who happen to be born at the same time. Their growth rates can differ, just like any other brothers. Identical twins (true twins) might also not grow at exactly the same rate; particularly if one of them has a disease or nutrition deficiency.
I masturbate face down on a bed but I don't rub my penis on it. Instead, I use my hands and rub my penis against my thigh, in effect stroking the side of my penis. I cannot orgasm using the normal method. Do I need to change my ways? (age 17)
Yes. You have an idiosyncratic method of masturbating that doesn't translate well to sex with a partner.
Why do you recover from TMS after a while of going normal? Do your nerves become more sensitive to more gentle masturbation? (age 15)
I don't know if it's nerves as much as the orgasm trigger in your head getting used to the new feeling. I only know it works.
I'm 14 and I can't masturbate since no semen comes out. Most of my friends seem to be able to do it yet I can't. I might have TMS since I can't really masturbate, but I rub my penis against the mattress when I get fantasies. Is this normal?
No, it isn't. It's how males get TMS. You can masturbate, and you are. You just can't masturbate to orgasm yet. Lots of guys your age are in the same situation. Just keep at it with your hands. Try to enjoy the feeling even if you aren't ejaculating yet. You will be soon.
I've been doing Kegel exercises for a while, with the goal of becoming multi-orgasmic. I have read about this procedure on several web sites, and in an e-book, and have been able to do it a few times. I am wondering if the process of contracting the PC muscles between orgasm and ejaculation is dangerous, and if you could point me toward any literature explaining why or why not? (age 19)
Working any muscle can cause pain and soreness the first few times. You should be careful you're not overdoing it and tensing too much around your prostate gland. You might want to find the book Any Man Can by Hartman and Fithian.
Is it true that the longer you don't masturbate, the more pleasure you will have when you masturbate again? (age 13)
It's a little bit true. You're apt to enjoy masturbating more after 2 days than after 45 minutes, but I don't think you'd enjoy it that much more after 5 days than you would after 2.
It is usually hard for me to ejaculate during a shower. Why is that? (age 14)
It's because you are distracted, and the feeling is different from masturbating dry. Don't worry if you can't masturbate to orgasm in the shower.
I love your site! I've learned a lot from it. Does semen make stains or anything like that or should I use something to stop it? I was wondering how I would get a girlie mag, and if its ok to buy them at my age? Thanks for the wonderful site! (age 13)
Semen leaves yellow crusty stains on fabric. It's better if you clean it up with a tissue or clean rag. No store would sell you a girlie mag at your age.
I just discovered that TMS was a problem and I have been masturbating like that for about 1.5 or 2 years. Am I permanently damaged? Is it completely neccessary to abstain from masturbation while trying to cure TMS or can I just begin masturbating the normal way? I can reach orgasm the normal way and I do it that way once in a while but it takes longer. (age 15)
If you already know how to masturbate conventionally, then you don't have to abstain. You only have to quit masturbating prone. I think you will recover completely.
Is it true that if you use baby oil on your hand when you masturbate that it feels like a vagina? (age 14)
It probably feels more like a vagina than a dry hand does, but it will still feel a lot more like a lubed hand than a vagina.
I rarely get erections unless I stimulate myself. Should I still masturbate? I have the urges but I read at your site that you should only masturbate when you have a full erection. (age 34)
A little bit of stimulation to obtain an erection is OK. What I mean males shouldn't do is masturbate with full force when they're not erect.
Does masturbation affect your voice in any way? (age 16)
No. Learning to masturbate and the voice changing are caused by the same process, but the one does not cause the other.
Currently I can masturbate for about 1-2 minutes before ejaculation. I have persistently tried to hold it in at the moment of ejaculation but never can. (age 18)
The time to try to extend your masturbation is not at ejaculation but in the 10-60 seconds before ejaculation when you realize that orgasm is imminent. Try to stretch that period of time out little by little.
I am a 25 year old male. I've masturbated regularly for the past 12-13 years. I have had sexual partners infrequently. My current girlfriend and I have been having sex for about a month, but I have noticed that my erections have not been able to last so long and sometimes it is difficult to penetrate. Other times it is ok. I realise now that I very rarely have spontaneous erections anymore. Is this normal? Last night, I even watched porn and didn't see any reaction - unless I stimulate myself and masturbate to a satisfactory erection until release of semen. Is this normal to experience a lack of erectile activity? I have not been masturbating during the week to make weekend sex more enjoyable, and it is, when I can gain a good erection. Can you offer some reassurance that I am not weird?
It is typical for spontaneous erections to become infrequent once you get past 20. You might also have become so habituated to porn that it doesn't make you erect anymore. You ought to avoid the porn except when you want to masturbate, and then use it to enhance your fantasy, not be the main part of it. It is good that you are saving your orgasms for intercourse. I think it is in your head. Once you are comfortable with your sexual functioning, then you should be able to masturbate once or twice early in the week and not see a difference in your intercourse.
When I masturbate, I have to rub hard on the head or else I don't reach orgasm. Is this bad? (age 14)
Yes. Try to use as little force as possible.
I've been masturbating daily the normal way. I do it quite fast with a light pressure on my penis. Does speed affect perfomance during sex? Should I try to orgasm with a slower speed? (age 28)
That's a good idea. You can't thrust in sex as fast as you can stroke your hand.
You said that if a male doesn't masturbate for more than 2 weeks that he can have a disease. What is this disease? (age 16)
Not a disease for certain, but one who habitually goes a long time without ejaculating increases the likelihood of developing prostate trouble.
I am 17 and practiced TMS when I was younger. Recently while masturbating, my recent errections have not been full strength. A few times while masturbating, I even lost the erection but I kept pumping away and eventually ejaculated with a mostly flaccid penis. My last girlfriend was unable to bring me to orgasm in oral sex. I had always attributed this to a combination of her bad technique, and the fact that I wasn’t really attracted to her. Could this all be related to TMS?
It's normal for erections to vary in strength. It's a bad idea to masturbate when you don't have an erection. You shouldn't expect to reach orgasm with someone you're not attracted to. And if her technique wasn't right, then you should have taught her what was. I don't think any of that can be blamed on TMS.
Does masturbation cause impotence? I just tried having sex with my girlfriend and couldn't get an erection. (age 17)
Don't be so worried about one incident. It's easier to get an erection when you haven't had an orgasm for a while, so try abstaining from masturbation for 3-4 days before your next attempt at intercourse.
I still have not been able to ejaculate. My penis is actually still rather small. Is there something wrong with me? (age 15 1/2)
It might be worth seeing a doctor about those things. You should be able to ejaculate by your age.
I'm 19, and I don't think I've ever had an orgasm although I do ejaculate. After I ejaculate the first time, my girlfriend continues because it feels good. In a shorter period of time, I start going again. However, it's more like a liquid and there's a lot more of it. It almost seems as if I'm urinating. What is the second thing? Is it normal? And how come I can't have an orgasm? (age 19)
An orgasm includes a rush of pleasurable feeling, and the genitals suddenly become too sensitive to be touched. I think you'd know if you had one. Since you let your girlfriend keep on, I suspect the first release of fluid is pre-cum. The second release is your ejaculation. You should see a doctor about why you're not experiencing a proper orgasm.
I've read how when masturbating the heart starts pounding really fast and breathing becomes heavier. None of this happens when I masturbate.
They are supposed to happen when you reach orgasm, not when you start masturbating.
I recently turned 15, and I started ejaculating a few months ago, but very little comes out. I know this is OK for now but how long do you think it will be until I am ejaculating a normal amount? I am concerned because if I have manual intercourse, the girl will notice how little comes out.
Don't worry about that. The girl won't know what normal is. Just enjoy it, and enjoy masturbating for now, and one day you'll notice that there's a lot more than usual.
I think I was about 6-8 years of age, when I first felt "horny." When I felt that way, I had to satisfy myself, and after I did, the feeling would go away. It would happen about 2-4 times a week. Was I horny at that age? Is that normal?
I don't think there was anything wrong with what you did. You did what most people do only earlier.
I don't think tantric sex sounds like fun because it's basically having sex without orgasming. I tried a "tantric" experiment in which I'd masturbate normally on my bed, but when it came for the orgasm, I'd stop it by letting go of my grip and breathing deeply. Though I didn't have the orgasm, some kind of liquid came out. What is that? (age 17)
You might be right about tantric sex. I think you ejaculated a little, or perhaps it was a bit of pre-cum. Ejaculating without orgasm is no fun at all, and masturbating without orgasm is like struggling through a plodding mystery for two hours and quitting before finding out whodunnit.
Is it OK to masturbate twice a day? Because it feels sometimes that twice is too much. (age 13)
If it feels like too much, it probably is. But twice a day is pretty common at your age. Most twice a day guys cut back by the time they're 16 or 17.
I started masturbating about two years ago. Now I do it about 6-7 times a week. I ejaculate, but it never shoots out, it only dribbles. Is this normal? (age 13)
Yes. I think it will shoot better once you develop better ejaculatory control. That will come with practice.
When I masturbate I am usually standing up and I put my thumb on top and my other four fingers under my penis and do short up and down motions, and my other hand is holding near the base on my penis. Is this way healthy like the loose fist way? (age 14)
It's pretty close. I don't think you have to worry.
Do you need to wait a certain amount of time in between orgasms? (age 14)
No, but after you've had an orgasm, it might take a while to get another erection. This is called the refractory period. It gets longer as you get older.
Hi! I am 12 years old and I started masturbating at age 10. I think something is wrong with me because I started puberty then and nobody in my class has. I also want to know if I am doing it wrong. I start by grasping my penis loosely but firmly. I then start to shake it up and down until I reach orgasm.
I think an epidemic of puberty will break out among your class soon. Your method sounds OK, but make sure you're stroking more than shaking.
I read your site and find it very open and informative. I am a male age 20 and I have noticed that females masturbate considerably less than males do. On the other hand, a higher proportion of females considers masturbation to be more pleasurable than sex (18% of males and 41% of females feel this way according to this site). Does this mean that males have a considerably higher sex drive, as they participate in an activity MORE actively and which gives them less pleasure than would sex! I have been unable to get any reliable statistics for male and female sex drive, and am wondering if in fact males are in fact by and large in the unfortunate position of being limited to the much lower female sex drive to obtain satisfaction.
I think you interpret those surveys wrong. I don't ask how much males or females enjoy masturbation; I ask whether they prefer it to intercourse. That males overwhelmingly prefer intercourse to masturbation doesn't mean they don't enjoy masturbation. I think the frequency with which they do it means they do. They only enjoy intercourse more. I also think that women preferring masturbation to intercourse in greater percentages than men means that women aren't getting satisfied as they'd prefer in intercourse. And I don't think there's any question that males have higher sex drives, based on the number of orgasms they choose to have, on average. You are correct that for most males to obtain their ideal satisfaction, they have to find a willing female partner. But when one isn't available, they're lucky that they can satisfy themselves.
Lately I have been waking up to find myself masturbating in my sleep more than once a week. How can I stop this?
It would probably help to wear more clothes to bed and to masturbate and/or engage in intercourse more frequently.
I love your site. When I masturbate, if I don't stretch my legs out tight, I can't feel a thing. Is this a problem? (age 13)
A lot of males do that. It's good if you can learn not to do that, but don't be afraid if it takes you a while. Sometime when you're having a really easy time getting to orgasm, try putting your legs in a relaxed position, and try that.
Every time I masturbate, all I can get is urine. Please help me because I've never gotten semen. (age 15)
You should start when you are in a mental state where you are very aroused. It also helps to empty your bladder before you try.
What is the best way to have intense orgasms masturbating supine since I can't achieve intense orgasms? (age 32)
It's good to both relax and to focus. So try it sometime when you haven't for a few days and are really in the mood and have some images to focus on. It will get easier as you get used to it.
Are humans the only species that masturbate? (age 15)
No. Masturbation has been observed in the male of every species of mammal.
I'm 23 and have been masturbating frequently since age 10. I have hardly any facial hair. Is this from masturbating, and can other guys tell I masturbate because I have so little facial hair?
No. At your age, every male masturbates. Men shave at different rates. Some have to shave two or three times a day to look "clean," while others only have to shave two or three times a week. It's not because they masturbate. Although masturbating and facial hair growth start at about the same time, it is not because one causes the other. They are both caused by the change in hormonal production that happens at puberty.
I've been masturbating 3-4 times a week since age 14. I'm suffering from strong acne. I don't get acne if I stop masturbating for a month or so. Are these two thing related? (age 21)
The only thing I can think of is that by not masturbating, you have more time to wash. Masturbation does not cause acne. You can ask your doctor for oral and topical antibiotics to deal with the acne.
Can a five year old boy leak semen? (age 28)
How long can sperm cells last outside the body after solo masturbation? When they are rubbed on my body or a t-shirt? (age 15)
Probably not more than an hour.
What are the problems a male can have if he waits too long to have sex? As I am morally opposed to premarital sex, are there ways to avoid these problems? (age 17)
Men who remain virgins after the age of 21 are more likely to have problems adjusting to sex with a woman. If you are adamantly opposed to premarital sex, it is to your advantage to find a way to get married sooner, such as to get connected to females who are interested in marrying young. Bible colleges are well known for this atmosphere. That's why some people call them "bridal colleges."
How can I make my orgasm last longer? You say that I must train my PC muscle. I don't know how to exercise it. (age 13)
Don't worry about that at your age. Just try to make your sessions last a little longer each month by doing things that you can already control. If masturbating currently takes you two minutes, try to be at 2 1/2 minutes by the end of the month and 3 minutes next month.
Is orgasm from sexual intercourse better than one from masturbating? (age 13)
Most people say that physically, the orgasm is better from masturbating, but the overall experience of intercourse is better.
I am 19 and have been masturbating since I was 13. Everything seemed fine until now. When I ejaculate it comes out liquid, but at a closer look, there are clumps in it. What could this be or mean?
Only a doctor can say for sure, but if you haven't ejaculated in four or more days, your semen could be thicker and have some solids in it. This is because your sexual fluids got old inside your body.
When I masturbate, it only takes me about 25 seconds to orgasm and ejaculate. I go slow but I seem to get aroused and my body just wants to get it over with. What can I do to make my orgasms and ejaculation longer and more exciting? (age 14)
Just try to make it a little longer each week. I don't think you need to worry so much at your age. As you get more experienced, you'll develop self control.
I am 14 and masturbate 2-3 times a day. Is this normal? I don't feel tired afterward as you said. Why can I reach orgasm quicker with a lubricant than without?
Your frequency is a little on the high side. It's good you don't feel tired, because that would be a lot of naps! The lubricant helps things go more smoothly, and the feeling naturally leads you to orgasm more quickly. This is even true for men in their 30s who start using lube.
I'm 17, and I masturbate in an odd position, which after viewing your site, I suspect may be TMS. I originally masturbated in a fairly normal manner, but rather than stroke up and down, I apply pressure ( not too much ) and slowly press down. I have been using a "European grip" where I use my left hand and I hold my hand upside down, and then proceed to stroke in a similar fashion to before, but now my hand is close to the top of the shaft. I usually do this over top of my jeans. I haven't really felt any pain except for once or twice, and I have also sort of scratched myself once. Does this sound like a form of TMS?
No, but it's an atypical masturbatory style the same, which you ought to consider giving up. Males who masturbate conventionally have the fewest problems having intercourse.
Why is masturbation soporific? How can one snap out of it? (age 14)
Masturbating to orgasm is apt to make you feel sleepy, but it is not assured that you will go to sleep. If you don't want to go to sleep, just get up and do things, and you will be back to normal in 15-20 minutes. It is believed that orgasm leads to sleep so that sex partners will stay together and not engage in activity after sex that will harm chances for conception. Thus, the woman reclines, and the man's semen flows toward her ova. If she were to stand, the semen would flow back out of her.
I really enjoy your web site. It is very helpful. I have been masturbating for about four years now, and I find that it is very hard to masturbate now. I have always used lube, but now I feel like I don't have enough semen being produced. I don't feel like I can masturbate effectively anymore and my penis does not get as erect as it used to be, and sometimes I feel a weird, semi-painful sensation in the area running above my penis. What should I do about this? Should I be checked out by a doctor? I feel like my semen is not healthy and I don't want to be unable to have kids in the future. (age 19)
It could be you're doing it too much. Nothing you said suggests there's anything wrong with your semen or fertility. It might be worthwhile to have a semen analysis just to assure you that there's nothing wrong. In the meantime, cut back to half of what you're doing, and see if you enjoy those fewer occasions more.
I just started masturbating a few days ago. I have an orgasm (sometimes more than one) but I don't ejaculate. Am I doing something wrong? (age 14)
I think you're doing quite well for a beginner. Enjoy those multiple orgasms while you can, because once you start ejaculating, you won't be able to have them anymore.
I go to camp every year and the dances are the best part. I've been going since 6th grade and I'm now in 9th. I've been masturbating for about two years now and last year any time I danced, I got a huge erection and when I'm dancing, the girl can feel it. Does getting an erection have anything to do with masturbating and how much you do it? (age 14)
Only if you masturbated right before the dance (because after an orgasm, there's a refractory period during which you can't get an erection), and at your age, I'm not sure how much difference that would make. (Refractory periods are short in the teen years.) If you're feeling self-conscious, you should wear an athletic supporter to the dance.
I've been masturbating quite frequently since age 10 and I've never had a wet dream in my life. Is this normal? (age 15)
Yes. Someone who starts masturbating before puberty will probably never have a wet dream.
I masturbate and my friend who's still 11 also masturbates. But he doesn't know a lot about masturbation and is having trouble getting the full orgasmic feeling because of his inexperience. He doesn't know that I do it nor does he know that I know he does it. If I tried to help him by teaching him stuff and maybe giving examples, would that be OK? (age 12)
I don't think it would be wrong, but most people regard masturbation as very private. I suspect he would get "the full orgasmic feeling" soon whether you said anything or not.
I have masturbated since age 10 and I think something's wrong. When I masturbate, most of the time I get orgasms that are really weak or too fast for me to even register it happened. Sometimes I masturbate without orgasm, just ejaculation. It's really taking the fun out of masturbating. (age 12)
Yes, ejaculating with orgasm is no fun. I think you're doing OK for 12, considering many males your age have never had an orgasm at all. You might try slowing down a little when you feel orgasm approaching and gradually extending the amount of time it takes.
Could masturbating twice a day cause any problems? I try to cut back but to me masturbating is like video games. I cant seem to stop myself. (age 14)
A lot of guys masturbate twice a day at 14. As you get older, you'll probably find you're masturbating less and playing video games less too.
When I masturbate and reach orgasm, I don't ejaculate. After my penis becomes soft, I pull my foreskin and there is a sort of clear gooey stuff. When I touch it and pull my finger back, it is sort of stringy. What is this? (age 13)
It's Cowper's fluid, also called pre-ejaculate, or more commonly, pre-cum. I think you'll be ejaculating soon. !-- R -->
I'm 16 and I have never been able to masturbate to orgasm, despite masturbating a few times a week. I have had many wet dreams, occuring roughly once or twice a fortnight. I understand what you have said about it being healthy to masturbate and ejaculate, but is it unhealthy not to ejaculate? Great site.
It is unhealthy not to ejaculate, but you are ejaculating three or four times a month through wet dreams. That frequency is typical for males past puberty who don't masturbate and it's frequent enough to prevent the problems that come from not ejaculating. You're obviously stopping before you get to orgasm. The thing to do in your situation is to have the thoughts and images in your head that cause you to be aroused and to just stroke as fast and hard as you can stand until you ejaculate. Once you're experienced with masturbating to orgasm, you can slow down and stroke with less force.
Is there any way to make yourself ejaculate before your first wet dream? (age 12)
Yes, it's called masturbation. About two thirds of males have their first ejaculation that way. This site is full of advice about it.
I masturbate once a day by applying pressure to my penis by squeezing my thighs together. I've always done it this way, and since I have heard my friends talk about the normal way, I know what it's like, and I've tried it, but it just doesn't feel good. My girlfriend has also tried to pleasure me in this fashion, and it's kind of uncomfortable. My question was to see if I had TMS, but based upon what I just said and what your site says, I suppose I do. Is it really that bad of a problem? How do I fix it? I could try the other way, but I can't ejaculate that way, and I'll just be frustrated and go back to other way. What should I do? (age 20)
What you describe isn't specifically TMS but it is an atypical method of masturbating that will not serve you well. You're already unable to reach orgasm with your girlfriend. The method for unlearning TMS presented on this site will help you unlearn your method too. The key is being determined to ejaculate the regular way. Once you're successful at that, you will probably never want to go back to your way, and you might not even remember that well what it was like.
What is urethral masturbation?
A dangerous form of masturbation involving sticking objects inside the urethra. It's probably more dangerous than TMS, because it can lead to infection as well as sexual dysfunction.
I am 16 and have been masturbating for about 3 years now. However, I can't masturbate standing up or without a lubricant. Are either of these a problem?
I don't think so. Using lube and standing up are two ways you can diversify your masturbatory practices, but neither is essential for your normal sex life. You might try abstaining from orgasm for a week or so. Then try to masturbate standing up. I promise it will be a new experience. You might try a few sessions without lube and see how they feel.
I have been masturbating since I was 13 and I do it with my right arm, with my left arm across my stomach. However, I just found out that if I try to do it without my left arm across my stomach, it doesn't feel as good. I just wanted to know if that is a habit, problem, etc. (age 16)
It would be better if the left arm didn't matter, nad better still if you could use it to do what the right arm usually does. Make a conscious effort to avoid the left arm and I think you will discover the power of the right arm by itself.
I like to hold off ejaculation when it is near. I often flex my PC muscle as tight as I can to stop the urge and I feel great doing so. Sometimes I continue to stroke my penis and at the same time flex my PC as hard and long as I can until it trembles and I become exhausted. Is it normal or am I damaging myself? (age 20)
It's good exercise to hold off ejaculation, but flexing your PC muscle as tight as you can and holding it until it trembles is not good. Like any other muscle, there's no reason to overwork it.
When I masturbate, sometimes I lose my erection. I was wondering if this was normal for my age? (age 15)
It's normal for any age when you can't keep your mind on what you're doing.
I have been using the TMS style since the beginning. I have no problems sexually. Have there been cases where TMS has caused blockage during ejaculation? I thrust against the floor and during orgasm I push myself into the floor thereby blocking ejaculation. Have there been any documented cases where this blockage causes other issues? (age 35)
Most definitely. The form of TMS you describe is particularly troublesome. Even males who masturbate conventionally and restrict their ejaculation can have trouble. So I think you are doubly at risk, not only for the stimulation issues that confront most TMS males, but also the kind of physical issues (e.g., prostate damage) that can result from blocking the flow of ejaculate.
I masturbate facing down, and I think I have TMS. I rub my testicles and I also wear briefs when I masturbate. When I masturbate the regular way I can't get orgasms (I've only tried a couple times). Should I keep trying until I get it? Is it OK to still rub my testicles if I'm lying upward? (age 14)
Masturbating prone is TMS. Don't give up on conventional masturbation after only a couple of tries. Testicle fondling is OK.
How could I increase my semen volume? How come when I masturbate 3 times a day, my semen is more liquid than sticky? (age 15)
Increasing semen volume is tricky. Abstaining for a few days will give you more to ejaculate. As you become more experienced, you will probably learn some techniques for stroking and timing your ejaculation to maximize the orgasm, which will also maximize quantity. When you ejaculate frequently, you deplete the components of semen that make it more sticky (and pungent) and therefore it is less viscous.
I have orgasms but I don't ejaculate. When I get an orgasm, will it just come out or do I have to force it out? (age 14)
Relax. It will come out, with great force, before long.
I have been masturbating the TMS way without producing semen since I was 9 years old, and when I started producing semen, I switched between the regular way and the TMS way. now that I know what TMS is and it's dangerous, I have stopped and I seem to be normal. Have I done any damage that will hurt me a few years later? Also, I masturbate about 8-9 times a week. Sometimes if I'm really horny, I can have two orgasms right after each other. One time I did it 3 times but the 3rd time very little, if any, semen came out, but I was still horny so I did it again and nothing came out. is it possible I ran out of semen? Is this dangerous? (age 14)
Congratulations on quitting TMS. I don't think you'll have any issues with it when you become sexually active. It's not dangerous to masturbate repeatedly, but you should understand you'll produce less semen with each ejaculation.
I have been masturbating since age 9 and have been doing it the TMS way. (Mostly lying down and rubbing against the mattress). By quitting the habit, will I be able to have normal intercourse? Does excessive masturbation (TMS) affect fertility? (age 22)
Yes, quitting TMS will help you have normal intercourse. Masturbation has no long-term effect on fertility.
I love your site. After I ejaculate during masturbation, I keep going until I ejaculate again, in about 10-20 minutes. Does that mean I'm multiorgasmic and does that count as masturbating once or twice? I can't stop thinking about sex. Is that normal for my age? (age 13)
You aren't truly multiorgasmic. The few men who can do that keep from ejaculating, so they have several orgasms but only ejaculate once, when they're finished. What you're doing is masturbating twice back to back. Most guys don't find that enjoyable and have to stop for a while. Lots of people your age can't stop thinking about sex.
Whats the difference between ejaculation and orgasm? (age 12)
Ejaculation is the expusion of semen from the body, and orgasm is the climax of sexual arousal that usually produces ejacuation. Each can occur without the other, and that is especially true at your age and younger.
I masturbate in the conventional way, but I think stroking slowly feels better than stroking quickly. Could this lead to sexual difficulties later on? (age 12)
No, that's good to have found that at your age.
You said both women's and men's genitals produce 'natural lube' when aroused. I'm an uncircumcised boy but my penis is dry even when erect. I usually spit in my hands before masturbating. Is that normal? (age 16)
It's normal for circumcised males. Most uncircumcised males produce more natural lube. But I don't think there's anything wrong with you if you have to use additional lube.
Puberty has just started about a 6 months ago and ever since then I have been wanting to masturbate not only for the pleasure but the fact that I can now produce semen. Is this common in young teens? Does smoking slow puberty? (age 14)
Smoking is very bad for you but I don't know of any slowing of puberty it causes. Having a frequent urge to masturbate is a good sign that puberty is going well.
When I was 1st/2nd grade, I masturbated faced down on the floor. Then when I masturbated facing up, I did not stroke it like normal males do (while semi-erect). I do it when I have the urge and without any erection. I put my right hand on top of my penis and my left hand on top of the right hand and massage the penis in a counter or clockwise motion pressing down on it. I always did it like this. I always cum without an erection. I know I am doing it wrong. I have been doing this for a long time and I don't know if I can change so that I can have better sex. When I watch porn, I get an erection, aroused, and have pre-ejaculation (nothing more) -- no arousal through erection masturbation. What can I do? (age 29)
The thing to do is give up the masturbatory style you're using now and learn to masturbate conventionally. Following the cure regimen for TMS on this site will also help you.
The amount of my husband's semen has become substantially less recently and I'm wondering what could cause this. Does frequent masturbation cause this? (age 52)
More frequent ejaculation is a likely cause. There could be other factors, which might require a medical examination. Keep in mind his current ejaculate volume might be normal in terms of a semen analysis even if it is less than he is accustomed to producing.
Is it normal to masturbate every single day? (age 15)
After my first orgasm, I continue to stroke my penis and it gets a little smaller but after 5 minutes, I orgasm again. I have repeated this up to four times. Is this bad and when you say how many times a day you masturbate, is that counting orgasms or sessions? (age 16)
I don't think that's bad for occasional practice, but if you do that frequently, I think it will be bad for you in the long run because you're putting more strain on your prostate gland and other internal organs than a male who only comes once. I suppose you should count orgasms, but for most males, orgasms and sessions are the same.
Why do men have nipples? (age 15)
Nipples develop early in a fetus, before it develops into a boy or girl. So men have nipples but no mammary glands.
What can you use to masturbate if you do not have any lube? (age 14)
A lot of guys use hand lotion or saliva.
I don't masturbate face down but I have problems reaching orgasm in intercourse. What's my problem? (age 19)
There are other causes of male orgasmic difficulty. The most obvious is the side effects of antidepressant pills. If you're not taking them, then it might just be a matter of finding the right mental focus during sex, or it could be a sign of a more serious condition, like diabetes.
I must take issue with your claim that masturbating more than twice a day is hard to imagine as fun. Maybe once you reach middle age this is true, but certainly not 16 (the age you claim), as studies indicate that 18 is the age at which males are most easily aroused and thus most in need of masturbation or intercourse. The fact of masturbating more than 14 times a week due to being single and unable to get sex may be no fun, but that's a whole different subject.
I said three times a day. At any age, I don't think masturbating 21 times a week is fun. Twice a day occasionally is apt to fun, or regularly if one is very young (about 14), but the majority of males have only masturbated three times in one day rarely in their lives. If someone is making a habit of three times a day, it points to some motivation other than fun.
Tonight I had my first ejaculation. I loved it, but I had to use pictures, and every time I try to masturbate without it, I can't reach ejaculation. Do you have any tips? (age 15)
Don't worry about that right now. As you get more experienced, try to move away from the use of pictures every time.
I was wondering what kind of lube is best. I started out with hand lotion and I'm now using Vaseline. I'm scared if I use too much, my dad will get suspicious. (age 14)
I don't think you have anything to worry about. Your dad will understand. I think a water-based liquid lube (like K-Y Liquid or Astroglide) is best, but you have obviously tried oil-based ones. You can buy lubes at any of the major drug or discount store chains next to the condoms.
Follow-up: I can't get to a store that sells better lubes.
You don't ever go to Target or Wal-Mart or a drug store? You might ask a friend to get you a bottle.
When you say that a male should only masturbate when he has an erection, does that mean I should not try to stimulate myself to erection when I want to masturbate and my penis is flaccid? (age 15)
A little physical stimulation to get an erection is OK, but I mean you should not engage in intense masturbation without an erection.
I'm so bored of masturbating. I rarely have a good orgasm. I really enjoy sex with females. I hate porn. It's sick stuff that I dont want in my mind. I'd like to find a way to stop because it's such a waste of time. I just wasted 2.5 hours today on masturbating. My mood after I've come is that I see the whole act of self-pleasuring as a stupid hormonal waste of time. And it's not even enjoyable. I'm thinking next time I'm horny I should just come in 10 minutes, and get it over with. Honestly I haven't REALLY enjoyed masturbating in quite a while. (age 21)
I think you're right about finishing in 10 minutes. That's what most males do. Spending 2 1/2 hours masturbating when you claim you don't even enjoy it points to a larger psychological problem for which you might want to seek help from a mental health professional. You might try to find some pictures that you don't think are sick stuff. That could make a lot of difference. You might also enjoy it more if you cut down to several times a week. Most males eagerly anticipate having a chance to masturbate to orgasm and savor the feeling for a few minutes afterward. Why not think of it in those terms and see if your attitude is different.
Does heat reduce fertility? I have been having heat therapies by showering myself with hot water lately to lose weight and while masturbating have noticed that I am producing much less semen after the first session. (age 15)
Volume of semen is not the same as fertility. Heat can, in fact, reduce your sperm count, but it ought to make no difference in the volume of ejaculate.
I recently started dating a girl I've liked for a while. I wonder if it's all right to still masturbate, because I kind of feel bad when I think about it. (age 14)
I think the guys your age who date girls masturbate more than the ones who don't. You shouldn't feel bad or guilty. It's normal and all guys do it.
You said that masturbating prone with a sex toy or pillow is a form of TMS. I masturbate with a toy on occasion sitting up like I usually do without one. I probably prefer the conventional form of masturbation. Is using the toy healthy or can it lead to dysfunction? Also, I plan on having my first sexual intercourse with a woman at age 29. Is that healthy or will masturbating until that time affect my sexual performance in the future? (age 21)
I advise against the use of sex toys by males. The most sexually successful men would never think of using them. I think you're already in danger of sexual dysfunctions by being a virgin at your age. Waiting eight more years is apt to lead to sexual disaster.
When I first started masturbating at 17, my penis used to become rock hard and ejaculation was fast and high. Now I rarely become fully erect before ejaculating. (age 22)
You have trained yourself to respond sexually when you are not fully erect. This is bad. It would be better if you only masturbated when fully erect. Then you will train yourself to respond when you're in the proper condition for ejaculation. Try this for a few weeks and see if your erections improve.
How fast should I move my hand up and down the shaft of my penis? If I go too fast, it starts irritating the head, but if I go too slow, I'll never ejaculate. (age 14)
While you're learning, go as fast as you can. Once you've learned how to ejaculate, try to slow down to about 2 strokes per second.
I masturbate 1-3 times a night during the summer. When school comes around, it goes down to once a week. Is this OK? Is it unhealthy to not urinate after you masturbate? Thank you for making this informative site. (age 15)
It's not good to go from 12 or more times a week to once a week and back again. It's better if you can be consistent in your orgasmic output. In older men, what you do can cause prostatitis. It's a good idea to urinate after ejaculating, but I don't know that it's unhealthy not to.
How old do you have to be to masturbate? (age 15)
Babies can touch their privates, and I've heard of people masturbating (i.e., trying to achieve sexual arousal) as young as 4 or 5. Most males start regular masturbation at 12-14.
What exactly is delayed ejaculation? I think I suffer from this problem along with dribbling after urinating. I heard that this is serious and has something to do with bladder problems. (age 13)
Delayed ejaculation is taking a long time to reach orgasm, perhaps a half hour or more. Both of those problems would be quite rare at your age. It's possible you simply haven't learned to masturbate efficiently yet. If they bother you, you should tell a doctor.
I heard that if you masturbate constantly when you're young you can get permanent premature ejaculation. Is this true? (age 15)
Not exactly. All males past puberty masturbate, but not all of them suffer from premature ejaculation. You ought to be learning about yourself from masturbation. Try to make yourself last longer when you masturbate, and by the time you're ready for sex, you will be in good shape to refrain from ejaculating until you and your partner are ready.
I've noticed when I masturbate outside the shower, I ejaculate in a minute or less, but when I do it in the shower, it can sometimes last up to a half hour. (age 15)
It's definitely a different feeling in the shower, being completely covered with hot water. You ought to work to both bring yourself to orgasm more quickly in the shower and delay your orgasms out of the shower.
Does excessive masturbation lead to sexual dysfunction? I masturbate 3-4 times a day. I've met someone and am having difficulty acheving orgasm with her and I'm sure it's due to masturbating too much. Even maintaining an erection is difficult and I don't want her to think I'm bad in bed. (age 42)
Absolutely it can. I recommend abstaining from masturbation for 4-5 days before your next sexual encounter. Once you're accustomed to having orgasms with her, you can cut the abstention period.
I'm masturbating 7 times a week.and I make a cotton saree like a vagina and I insert my penis into that. It is great pleasure for me. Within 20 seconds I ejaculate. Is this normal? (age 22)
No, it isn't. Strange as it seems, your hand simulates a vagina better than any artificial vagina. You ought to take at least three minutes to ejaculate. Better cut out the saree and do it by hand.
Sometimes when I masturbate I like to pause for a while right before orgasm so I can masturbate longer. When I do this, my chest gets red blotches on it. What is this and is it healthy? (age 14)
I have advised males to delay their orgasms many times. There's nothing wrong with it. What you have is called sex flush, and it's pretty normal. It probably also happens when you don't use the delay tactic. Just remember that it can also happen on the face and people can figure out what you've been doing if they see it.
How do guys who have circumcised penises masturbate, because they cannot touch the head? The shaft isn't long enough to place on your whole hand, and make an up and down movement? (age 15)
Many, many circumcised males touch the head, although they usually use lube to protect it some. For many, it's enough simply to brush against the coronal ridge (the widest part at the bottom of the head). The shaft is plenty long relative to the length of the hand. Be glad you're uncircumcised and you don't have to deal with the issues circumcised males have to deal with.
I think I masturbate too many times and not give my testicles enough time to produce more sperm, because now my semen is yellowish in color. Is it still good for having babies? (age 26)
Yellow semen is most likely to be cause by not masturbating often enough. Masturbating cannot make you sterile. Don't worry about any of that.
If one only had sex once a month and masturbated the rest of the time, would that lead to sexual dysfunction? If a man is a virgin until he is 30, what kind of dysfunctions would he have? What about at 21? What ought a man do if he cannot have a female sexual partner and would like to maintain the healthiest course in the meantime? Is it safe for a woman to be a virgin until she is 30? (age 21)
I think if someone could have sex successfully once a month, he does not have a sexual dysfunction. Men who remain virgins past the age of 21 are apt to have more problems becoming sexually active. They are likely to have problems such as delayed ejaculation, anorgasmia, premature ejaculation, and erection problems. They are also apt to have more difficulty finding partners as they get older. Women do not have as many sexual problems as a result of late virginity. It's because sexuality is more dependent on the man having adequate sexual response than the woman. I think the healthiest virgin sexuality involves some orientation to a partner.
Your site is awesome! I am 14 and I have been masturbating for years. I have only ejaculated 3 times, and I'm getting worried there is somthing wrong with me. Sometimes I get close to ejaculation, but it fades away in pulses. I've tried not masturbating for days, but even then I can't. Is there somthing wrong with me?
I doubt it. You just need more practice. It's like blowing a bubble for the first time. Try to enjoy those pulses. When you learn to time them correctly, the pulses are the best part of the orgasm.
What is the right way to masturbate in bed with underwear on? Is it normal to ejaculate into your underwear and leave it on all night while dreaming of a cute girl you know? (age 12)
The right way is to take your underwear off or at least down to allow the proper range of motion. Yes, a lot of guys do that and have those kind of dreams.
I masturbated last night and was under the influence. It took longer than normal to get aroused which didn't strike me as abnormal and I really didn't get fully erected. Today around noon, 12 hours later, I had a sharp pain in my left testicle, very similiar to blue balls, but slightly more painful. It is intermittent and lasts for a few seconds, and comes back every couple minutes. (age 27)
If you were under the influence, you were lucky to be able to masturbate at all. If you hurt yourself last night, I suspect the pain would go away soon. If the pain bothers you, you should see a doctor.
You describe the conventional method of masturbation as "stroking," so does this mean you can't hold the skin? (age 14)
Sure, a lot of males do that. I think it's still considered stroking whether only the hand is moving or when both the hand and the skin are moving.
When I masturbate, I can only go for 1 to 3 minutes if I use lube. Is this bad? (age 15)
It's not too bad for your age. Just work on it taking longer gradually, until you get to 10 minutes. Once you can make it past 5 minutes, you know you'll be fine in intercourse.
I'm a 20 year old male and masturbate to porn and erotic chat for several hours at a time. Sometimes once a day. I usually stroke my penis through a loose pair of shorts while in a sitting position. My question is will this cause problems in having sex with a partner or cause damage to my penis?
That's a long time to spend masturbating. Most males get it over with in 10 minutes.
I've been masturbating for more than 3 years. Recently, I began doing the delay technique, and when I have delayed enough and I have an orgasm, I think I'm ejaculating, but there's no semen. Why is that? (age 16)
The goal of the delay tactic (multiple orgasm technique) is to give you dry orgasms so you can have more than one. Males who can have multiple orgasms keep going after their first orgasm and only let themselves ejaculate when they've had enough.
I'm Chris and I've been masturbating for almost 3 years and lately my erections have lasted for about 5 minutes after my masturbation session. What could be the cause? It is really sensitive and I cant touch it after I'm done. (age 13)
It's nothing to worry about unless you're quite overweight in which case it might be a sign of poor circulation.
I love this site! It has given me so much information that I would be too embarrassed to ask my dad. I've been attracted to boys for a long time and have been masturbating about them since I was 10. I started to label myself as gay, but about a month ago this girl came along and she just really attracts me. I've never been with someone that gave me a raging boner after just holding hands! A couple of days ago we decided to have sex. I used a condom and everything, and it sounded like she was really enjoying it. I couldn't reach orgasm. I really wanted to, but it was just kind of hard. It was in a movie theature, but we were away from people. There were some moments when she told me to go harder, but I just wanted to go at the pace I was going because I didn't want to interrupt if I was close to orgasm. I was really ashamed at myself. Maybe it's the way I masturbate. It's sort of like a fist, only I use my thumb to massage the front of the head. I've rarely been able to accomplish orgasm with a full fist. I tried it last night, and it took me about an hour. Should I try the method you suggest to cure myself of it? (age 16)
Since any partner you ever have will not have a thumb inside them, it would be a good idea to quit that habit. The abstinence program on this site will help you do that. You have the additional problem of confused sexual orientation. Your male-only masturbatory fantasies point to your being gay, but your being very sexually excited by this girl point the other way. It would probably be easier for you to reach orgasm with a partner if you had it clear in your mind whether it is appropriate for you to be with that person.
I've been masturbating about 3 times a day since I was 11 (though sometimes as much as 6). I've noticed stretch marks and little indentations on the underside of my penis, and the seam on my shaft is not straight and sort of is bent right and has loads of stretch lines coming from it. I know I got this from masturbating and it makes me self-conscious and pretty distressed. (age 16)
Your high frequency of masturbating is not good for your penis. I suggest you cut down to once a day and perhaps also use lube. Don't worry about the seam. Few males have a straight one.
Does ejaculation at age 11-12 affect your height? (age 12)
My semen becomes very sticky and forms small lumps and finally solidifies after 2 minutes. Is this natural or some kind of disorder with my semen? (age 21)
Please tell me about pre-cum. Does it come just before ejaculation or much earlier. Color, quantity, do all males produce it, does ejaculating pre-cum feel the same as ejaculating semen? (age 14)
It starts coming out soon after arousal. It continues to flow until ejaculation. It is clear and quantity depends on the length of arousal. Usually it's just a drop or two, but if you're very aroused for a long time, it can leak through your underwear and pants. All males produce it. It isn't ejaculated, but simply flows out of the penis on its own, more like a runny nose than ejaculation.
Does masturbating waste valuable proteins? (age 14)
No. The protein has already been used in making semen before you masturbate. You're only ejecting it.
I masturbate almost daily but sometimes I have the urge to do it more than once. I compensate by skipping a day. You said 8 times a week is normal or average, but what are the dangers if the number exceeds it? (age 18)
There is no danger in being slightly above average. I think you are obsessing too much by keeping such meticulous track of your masturbation. Just try to enjoy a healthy sexuality.
Do girls know when they're about to have an orgasm like we do? (age 15)
People have to be experienced in orgasms to know the feelings that happen beforehand. At your age, nearly all boys have had orgasms, but many fewer girls have. Orgasmically challenged females sometimes can masturbate for hours and not know how close they are to orgasm. If you're with a girl, don't be surprised if she has no idea if she's approaching one or not.
Over the years, either with a partner or alone, I have noticed that my ejaculate is decreasing in volume and has become much thicker, and my orgasms are not as intense as they used to be. Any suggestions? (age 35)
You can easily have doctor do a semen analysis to determine if there is anything wrong with your ejaculate. It might still be normal even if it isn't the same as before. You might keep a log of your orgasms and try to figure out if what is different about them from one time to another.
I hate that most girls my age are taller and look maturer then me. It just doesn't seem fair. Is it meant to be that way? (age 15)
Yes, it is. The females are ready to carry babies before the males can inseminate them. But this gap only lasts for about a year. You'll be finished with puberty soon and be equal with the girls in terms of development.
Thank you for hosting this site. I believe that I recognize something here. I think I am experiencing another method of generating TMS that the other guys need to know about and avoid! I am a 42 year old former elite athlete (still in good shape) on no medications ever (very suspicious of 99% of the meds people take), am never sick however I have been experiencing anorgasmia and difficulty maintaining an erection for intercourse with my wife. Unlike a lot of your guys I grew up masturbating the normal way and enjoyed a very active, fun sex life capable of all positions. However, when my wife became pregnant 6 years ago, we ceased intercourse as we felt that we did not want to put the pregnancy at risk.
As I have always had a strong sex drive I did not want to burden my wife with looking after my sexual needs so I turned to computer porn to masturbate. I did not want to ejaculate on the desk/computer screen so I point my penis at the plastic mat on the floor while sitting and jerk with the right hand pushing down-simultaneously using a squeeze technique with the left hand at the very base of the penis. Results in a powerful orgasm and easy clean up. I've been doing this about 4-5 times per week for 6 years. I see mechanically how similar it is to TMS techniques. This has been my sex life for about 6 years with once or twice per year having sex with my wife only sort of successfully. Life is settling down for us now and I really want to start having fun with my wife again. It was really disconcerting when we had time booked and I was unable to perform for her! I will have no difficulty giving up this harmful type of masturbation as the majority of my life I did not do this anyway. I can masturbate the normal way but have noticed that it takes more time and I don't get the same quality of erection. I am hoping for a more rapid cure and have already got my wife primed up for more action in the near future.
You do not have TMS, but you are experiencing similar problems due to your idiosyncratic style of masturbation. Most males lean back when masturbating at the computer at the point of orgasm and let the ejaculate go on their abdomen. It would be very unlikely to hit the computer screen no matter how they are pointed. (It would be more likely to dribble down your hand if you did not lean back.) Like TMS, I think quitting the abnormal behavior would be enough to get you back to normal sexually within a month or two.
When I am about to ejaculate, I cover my penis entirely with tissues so that the semen doesn't spray everywhere. Is this harmful? (age 13)
You could be blocking the flow that way. It would be better if you could learn where the ejaculate will go and clean up afterward or else catch the ejaculate with your other hand.
Is it OK to sometimes masturbate 3 times a day? Not every day but sometimes. And if I do, how long do I have to wait? (age 14)
Yes, that's fine. There is no set time you have to wait, but if you think it's taking too long and is not as enjoyable as usual, then you should wait longer next time.
These past few weeks, I've just been stopping short of ejaculation when I masturbate. I was wondering what my "point of no return" is. I don't want to get blue balls by accidentally stroking too much. (age 15)
Blue balls is not caused by stroking too much. It's caused by not stroking enough -- by stopping before you have an orgasm. You're teaching your body a bad lesson by doing that. You ought to masturbate only when you feel like ejaculating. The point of no return -- technically, the point of ejaculatory inevitability -- is the point where a male will ejaculate even if he stops stroking, even if he loses his orgasm, even if someone walks in. It's only a split second before ejaculation, but it's important for males who are trying to overcome premature ejaculation to recognize. It's not something to worry about if you're not in that situation.
I discovered TMS at a very young age, before I was able to ejaculate. I realize that when I get aroused my penis points and is kind of bent down and doesn't get very hard. Just hard enough to perform masturbation. It doesn't get hard enough for me to actually have sexual intercourse and if you push on the end of it as to simulate intercourse, it just bends instead of staying straight. Is there anything I can do to help it get harder, and anything I can do to keep it from bending? I'm worried I may have caused irreversable damage. (age 17)
Erections get stronger within a couple months of quitting TMS. That's what you should do.
What is the difference between ejaculation and masturbation? (age 16)
Ejaculation is the expulsion of semen through the penis. It usually happens at the same time as orgasm, which is the culmination of sexual arousal. Masturbation is stimulation of the genitals for the purpose of increasing sexual arousal, usually to bring about orgasm and (in males) ejaculation. You might want to look around the glossary of this site.
I have masturbated daily for 8-10 years and my semen quantity is very low. Just a drop or two. Is it normal? (age 22)
No. About a teaspoon (3-5 ml) is normal. You might try abstaining for a few days and seeing if you produce a fuller ejaculate.
I have gotten into a habit of lightly tapping my balls so I get the ever so slightest bit of pain but it seems to make the ejaculation better. I'm sure this is not normal. Will this damage my testicles at all? (age 26)
I'm also sure it's not normal. I don't know that it will damage anything, but it's something you don't need to do. Why not get out of that habit soon?
I dont masturbate face down. I masturbate on my side and put a blanket between my legs and rub back and forth. Is that TMS? (age 15)
No, but it's an idiosyncratic form of masturbation that won't serve you well in the long run. You ought to phase it out.
I've been masturbating for over two years now. Thanks to your site, I now masturbate regularly and guilt-free. I've noticed differences in the feeling depending on the time of day, whether or not I use lube, how I stroke my penis, and whether or not I'm in the shower. I find that it feels best if I wait a couple days and have a long session with fantasizing. Is there any real difference between these orgasms? (age 14)
The best measure of an orgasm is how it feels to you. It's good that you can experiment with those things guilt-free and find out what feels best for you.
I masturbate by rubbing my penis on my right thigh using my left hand and rubbing in a back and forth motion. Is this a different way to masturbate than what most guys do? I've been masturbating this way my whole life and it feels really good. (age 29)
That is an atypical means of masturbating. It would be a good idea to cut that out.
Is it normal to get an erection during weird times? The other day at football practice, there were some really sexy senior girls watching and I caught a boner in the huddle and some of the guys noticed. (age 15)
Yes, that's very normal.
You say that you can gradually learn not to stretch your legs when masturbating, and that there's no harm in doing so, but I've been masturbating for 7 years and I still have to stretch my legs. Also, my friends think I am strange because they tell me they don't have to stretch their legs. (age 19)
It's nice that you have friends with whom you can talk about such intimate things. Sometime when you're having a really easy time masturbating, try putting your legs in a different position.
Does one actually hump his bed while having a wet dream? (age 32)
Not in a wet dream, but something like that has happened to more than a few males. Usually they were sleeping naked and somehow started masturbating in their sleep.
When I first started masturbating, no one had told me how to and I found out my own way. It was moving my hand up and down the back side. I do it the normal way now that I have had sex education in school. Sometimes being around other guys makes me hard. I was wondering if there's a way to hide it and if the way I used to masturbate can affect me later. (age 20)
The back side is more sensitive than the top, so most males put more emphasis on it. I think you'll be fine. You might try different kinds of clothes and see which kind hide your erection better, then wear those when you are going to be in a situation that will make you uneasy.
Would TMS include not only masturbating in a prone position, but also masturbating by hand by sandwiching the penis between the stomach and the palm of one's hand? This would seem to generate the same types of pressure as masturbating in a prone position. (age 25)
That is not TMS, but it is another atypical form of masturbation that would not be good for future sexual functioning.
When I start to masturbate, my erection takes a very long time to build. I start rubbing and it gets longer and thicker but not hard. I feel really turned on and the sensations are great, but it takes less than a minute before I cum. (age 17)
You might take more time to get it hard. It is a good idea not to start masturbating until it is fully erect. Just work at lengthening your masturbation time gradually. Try for a minute and a half, then two minutes, etc. I think you'll get the hang of it.
When men are turned on, they get an erection. What happens to a woman's body when she is turned on? (age 16)
Her clitoris (and possibly her nipples) will erect, and her vagina will lengthen and produce lubricant.
I am uncircumcised, and when I masturbate, I frequently pinch my foreskin closed to trap my semen as I ejaculate. I can more quickly and easily tidy up after myself when I am finished, since I can simply positon my penis over the toilet or a wad of kleenex and let go of my foreskin. Is this a very unusual technique, and are there any dangers to this technique? (age 19)
That is not a safe practice. You could conceivably cause your semen to back up if the urethra were blocked at the critical second. It also doesn't replicate anything that happens in intercourse. You ought to let the semen fly and then clean it up. If you are very concerned about cleanliness, you might try masturbating with a condom.
Every time I have tried to have sex, I can't get an erection, but when I masturbate, I can get hard, but my penis only gets really hard just before I ejaculate. Is it my nerves? How can I stop this from happening? (age 16)
You should only masturbate when you have a firm erection. You seem to have trained yourself to be able to masturbate without an erection. You might need to break that habit for a couple of months before you should try having sex again.
I am 18 and I cannot masturbate using my hand. I discovered masturbation face down. Most of the time I do masturbate by thrusting my penis between two pillows. Is that okay? I have been doing that since about 14. I have had sex before too, and it was fine.
The way you masturbate is called TMS - Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome, and it causes severe sexual dysfunction in most men who practice it. It's good that you have had intercourse successfully, but most men with dysfunctions from TMS didn't notice them until they were older. It would be good if you could quit masturbating that way and learn to masturbate with your hand the way nearly all men do.
I masturbate in the shower. And I'm really scared that my mom will find me and then I will never be able to again. My mother is a strictly no masturbation and no sex till 18 kind of person, and I don't have my father around to back me up, so how can I avoid being discovered? (age 14)
Doesn't the bathroom door have a lock? You ought to think of yourself more as an independent person and not worry about what your mom will think. Just about all males your age masturbate frequently. There is nothing she can do if she wanted to stop you.
I recently masturbated and I only lasted about 2 minutes. But I still felt aroused and I was able to keep on going. I then ejaculated 10 minutes later. Does this mean I'm multiorgasmic? (age 15)
No. That means you have a short refractory period, which is the time a male must wait between sexual sessions. It is typical for males your age to have short refractory periods. Being multi-orgasmic means you can have an orgasm without ejaculating and keep doing so for an extended period of time. It is rare for males to be multi-orgasmic.
If I take longer to orgasm because I stop for a couple seconds, while keeping my erection, does this count as delaying orgasm and "lasting longer," or do you have to be rubbing the whole time? (age 14)
Both are ways of delaying orgasm, however, you ought to learn to be able to postpone orgasm by continuing to rub, because there is a large chance your erection will deflate if you stop. Thus, being able to delay orgasm while being stimulated is a more useful skill than being able to stop stimulation.
Is it good for a 12 year old to take 8 minutes to ejaculate? Do I have multiple orgasms because I ejaculated 5 times in a row?
Eight minutes is very good for your age. You might even try for less, maybe five minutes. A lot of guys your age can't even last two minutes. I don't think what you have is multiple orgasms.
I masturbate using the conventional method, lying on my back while stroking my penis with my hand. However, it seems most of the stimulation comes from the head, and consequently, that usually receives most of the friction, or at least equal to the amount applied to the shaft. Is that how it is supposed to be performed, or is the stimulation meant to be applied strictly and exclusively to the shaft?
The most sensitive part is the coronal ridge, which is the part of the head that sticks out farthest. The idea is to brush lightly across the coronal ridge (and possible other parts of the head) as you masturbate by stroking the shaft.
When I masturbate, sometimes it's a clear white liquid, and other times it looks thick and foamy. I don't really choose what kind comes out, but which is better to have? Also should the semen gently seep out or shoot out loud enough for you too hear it? (age 16)
The thick and foamy kind probably is better. You can control it to some degree by the time between ejaculations. The more recently you ejaculated, the more likely it is to be clear. You can also bring about a thicker ejaculate by holding off your orgasm for a few seconds when you feel it coming. Then it will build inside you and shoot rather than seep when you ejaculate. I don't know that it ever gets loud enough for you to hear it.
Is it natural for orgasms to be so powerful that they shoot over your shoulder or even hit you in the face sometimes? (age 27)
Yes, that's good.
I can never ejaculate with any distance. It only dribbles out. How can I get more force behind my ejaculation? (age 16)
You can ejaculate farther if you hold the ejaculate back with your muscles for about a second right at the point it would come out on its own. This is the same muscle you use to control the flow of urine.
I'm 16 years old and have been practicing TMS since I was about 6 or 7. I'm still a virgin. If I quit now and start masturbating the usual way, will TMS come back to haunt me when I start having sex?
No. Males your age who quit TMS can usually do so very quickly and have no ill effects when they become sexually active.
Recently my semen has turned up more white than clear on my skin and it leaves a clear stain on the tissue. But I did not masturbate for a week. Today I finally decided to and the semen was white on my skin as usual but when I put it on the tissue it turned yellow. Why? (age 15)
The yellow was probably the result of your prostate fluid being older than usual as a result of your not masturbating for a week.
Generally, I masturbate eight times a week. I'm often bored with the conventional method. In the past four months, I've been experimenting once every other week or so. I've tried getting it down to the slightest time as possible, purely for the novelty of it. My record is thirty seconds. Is that safe? I've also "had sex" with the couch. I know this is TMS, but is it a problem if I've only done it five times ever? I've also attempted autofellatio. Now would be an easy time for me to cease any of these activities if they will hurt me later in life. (age 13)
There is nothing to be gained by seeing how fast you can reach orgasm. When men do that in intercourse, it's called premature ejaculation, and it's a major turnoff for women. If you are trying to time yourself at all, you should see how long you can keep from ejaculating while stroking and not losing your erection. Work at trying to extend that time. I don't advocate that males try TMS even once, although having done it about 8000 times myself, I don't know that I could tell you that anything bad will happen from having done it five times. Only one male in a thousand can perform autofellatio, according to the Kinsey report.
I masturbate 2 or 3 times a day and after I ejaculate, I have a feeling up to and hour afterward that I am going to do it again. Did I hurt something masturbating too much? (age 14)
One way to tell would be to cut back greatly on your masturbating for a while, perhaps to two or three times a week, and see if you still notice that feeling.
Is it a problem if I don't masturbate for 6 days a week, and then when I finally do, I do it 5+ times? (age 12)
Yes, that is bad. If you are going to masturbate five times a week, it is better if you spread those times out across the week instead of having a spree of them on one day. That kind of erratic pattern causes prostate trouble in men who practice it.
I am extremely sexually frustrated because I have not masturbated in over two months and the my last wet dream was over a month ago. I need to find a way to alleviate my stress without masturbating. (age 20)
But masturbating is the way to ease your sexual frustration. Your question is like asking how to satisfy your hunger without eating.
Why does it feel better to ejaculate after a couple of days of not masturbating? Is it because of the build up? (age 16)
Yes. Also, you might be anticipating it more after a few days.
Is something wrong if my erections mostly result from physical stimulation? (age 19)
Not necessarily. If you can keep an erection for a healthy duration, it isn't so important if you have to stimulate it physically to get it going. But at your age, you should be having a lot of erections by fantasy alone.
I was cured of TMS within a week or so of reading your web site. This helped me learn how to masturbate the conventional way. Everything was fine until a couple of weeks ago. I went to bed as usual, but I had a vivid dream about having sex. I was having sex in the dream, and I was masturbating in my sleep. Is this normal? Is it a wet dream?
This dream turned into what you call "sleep masturbation." I didn't have control over what I was doing. I awoke to find I had ejaculated while dreaming. I understand that wet dreams can occur if you havn't masturbated for awhile, but this is not the case. I've experienced this twice now, and I dread it ever happening again, as I feel it's quite embarrassing.
It isn't a wet dream, and sleep masturbation is fairly uncommon, even if a lot of men have experienced it once or twice. If it persists, you can try to eliminate it by masturbating at bedtime or by wearing heavier clothing to bed.
About 2 months ago I quit TMS and I masturbate daily and I haven't gotten an orgasm or don't know what one feels like. I ejaculate but it doesn't seem fun or anything. What should orgasm in a man feel like? (age 15)
An orgasm is a rush of pleasurable feeling that generally accompanies ejaculation in males. I suspect you are having them, because you are moved to masturbate daily, and a male who has anorgasmic ejaculations wouldn't find it all that fun and practice it daily. Try to identify the feelings you really like, and try to bring them out more when you masturbate. I think you'll decide your orgasms are really a lot of fun.
Is it harmful if I masturbate dry - without a lube - if I'm circumcised? (age 14)
Without a lube, it's a good idea to avoid touching the head.
I only get pleasure from the right side of the bottom of my penis and from the right side of the head. Because of this, I focus on the right side, so my penis is slightly slanted to the left. I am a virgin. Do you think this one-sidedness will affect my sex life a lot? Also, I didn't know there was a wrong way to masturbate before this site. (age 17)
Any idiosyncratic method of masturbation is bad. I don't think what you do is as bad as TMS, and the slant of the penis doesn't mean much. I suggest you learn to masturbate the conventional way. Then your future intercourse will not be affected by what you did up until now.
After masturbation, I feel very unsatisfied. It takes me 1/2 hour to 2 hours to ejaculate. I am a straight guy who hasn't had sex within a year. Is this just because I'm sexually frustrated or something else? Please help. (age 18)
Either you are mentally distracted while you are trying to masturbate or you have not waited long enough since the last time. It ought to take you five to ten minutes. If it hasn't worked after 20 minutes, I think you should give up.
I heard that mulitple orgasms for males is a myth. Is that true? If it's not, can you become one? (age 14)
It's not a myth, but relatively few males can. The key is separating the orgasm from ejaculation. Once you do that (and have orgasms without ejaculating), you can keep having orgasms until you finally let yourself ejaculate. It takes a lot of practice for most males.
I am having trouble reaching orgasm. I have no problems getting an erection and keeping it, but it almost always takes me hour or more to ejaculate, if I even do at all. I have never had this problem before. (age 20)
If it is a new problem, it is probably caused by stress. If your stress is the same as usual, and you have not recently started some new medication, then it could be a symptom of a serious illness, in which case you should see a doctor.
When I masturbate, I find I do not feel any pleasure when I ejaculate. (age 14)
Are you having orgasms too? Perhaps try doing it at most once a week and see if you like it any better. If you are consistently lacking pleasure when you ejaculate, perhaps you should see a doctor.
For those older men who have never had sex or masturbated before, would you advise them to start masturbating? How many times a week/month? (age 32)
Yes, I would definitely advise them to masturbate. I don't know that I would prescribe any frequency. If they really have never done it before, once would be an improvement. Most males your age with no other sexual outlet masturbate daily.
Is it OK to try and hold in your semen when you ejaculate? (age 16)
No. Ejaculation means releasing the semen.
Sometimes when I'm bored, I masturbate. Is this masturbating compulsively? (age 16)
I don't think so. The definition of compulsion is narrower than that and includes use of the practice to reduce anxiety. I think a lot of people, especially at your age, masturbate frequently when they're bored. Someday you will have too much to do and wish you had more time to masturbate.
At what age should a boy start to masturbate? (age 17)
Most do by age 13. If he hasn't started by age 16, it might be a sign of a problem.
I have been doing TMS since I was 6 or 7. I quit TMS for a week after reading this site and then started mastubating with my hand and lotion. I kept an erection most of the time but haven't been able to finish. I have kept this up for a month and still nothing. I will never go back to TMS. Should I use lotion? Can I attempt sex with my girlfriend yet? (age 16)
If you haven't been able to have an orgasm in a month, it would be worth trying it without the lotion, or with a different kind of lube, to see if it makes a difference. I don't think you should attempt intercourse until you're able to masturbate to orgasm by hand.
One night I was masturbating in bed and felt like I needed to use the bathroom, but I didn't go. I kept on masturbating and when I orgasmed, it was awesome, and some of my semen shot past my shoulder and onto my pillow. Since then, I haven't been able to ejaculate that far. Will masturbating with a full bladder help me ejaculate more? (age 14)
It might have been a coincidence. I think it would be more likely that the pressure of a full bladder would inhibit your orgasm. But if you have a chance to try it again, let me know what happens. You might be on to something.
Does TMS only apply to a prone position, or also to other techniques which exert more pressure to the backside of the penis than standard masturbation? I have a technique in which I lie on my back, but I turn my hand around upside down, which gives more stimulation to the backside. Could this also be damaging for my sexuality? (age 22)
What you describe is not TMS, but it is an idiosyncratic technique that does not translate well to sexual intercourse. For some reason, males who masturbate conventionally have the least trouble functioning in intercourse.
Whenever I masturbate, I have to stroke hard and fast to reach orgasm. Is that bad? (age 15)
It would be better if you took your time and didn't stroke so hard. It might help if you haven't had an orgasm for a few days. Once you've mastered reaching orgasm with a light touch, it will be easier.
What is the average duration for orgasm for men? I timed myself and have had a 22-second long orgasm. (age 15)
That's pretty good. The average is eight seconds. In the 1990s, there was a movie called "Eight Seconds." The title supposedly referred to the length of time a bullrider could stay on a bull, but we all know what it really meant, don't we?
Does the amount of semen ejaculated increase past puberty? (age 14)
Yes. When you first start ejaculating, your volume is apt to be small.
I usually masturbate to the technique of "stop and go." It results in very powerful orgasms, but I read something about "injaculation" where suppressing it sends semen into the bladder, causing long term damage. The stop and go technique requires you to stop just before you orgasm, but it does not say anything about holding it back. It says to simply stop and take your hand off your penis, and wait for your erection to soften a bit, and go again, until you can't stand it any longer. Is injaculation the same thing as stop and go? When you stop and go, is the semen sent to your bladder or elsewhere? (age 13)
I advise against stop and go because that isn't a good pattern to teach your body. There are better techniques for delaying orgasm that involve simply extending your masturbation session by 30 seconds or a minute until you are able to masturbate for the desired amount of time. Ten to fifteen minutes is plenty long. "Injaculation" is caused by using force to prevent your semen from being expelled at the moment of ejaculation. As mentioned elsewhere on this site, it is a dangerous practice that can cause damage to the sensitive nerves and blood vessels in your privates. It is not the same as stop and go.
Does masturbation give you more control over how long you last with a female partner? (age 18)
I think it does. The better you know your body and sexual functions, the more you will be able to control it during intercourse.
What is an orgasm feel like when one masturbates? (age 16)
It is a series of contractions inside the pelvis. Specifically, the main ones happen around the prostate gland. It is usually such an intense feeling that the person feels it throughout his body. Many people (males and females) moan or scream at the moment of orgasm to relieve the tension. There might be heavy breathing At the peak of orgasm, the male ejaculates about a teaspoon or so of semen. After this, the penis becomes too sensitive to touch and the male relaxes.
What exactly is multi-orgasmic? I can keep going after I reach my first orgasm to about 6 orgasms, and after then I am just too tired to keep going. Am I multi-orgasmic? Will I always be? (age 14)
If you are not ejaculating yet, you might be multi-orgasmic. If you are ejaculating, then I doubt you are having multiple orgasms. Only a small number of men can have multiple orgasms, but they do it by having orgasms without ejaculating.
Can pills like mood stabilizers and anti-depressants weaken a person's sexual imagination? (age 16)
I've never heard that, but they can inhibit erections and the ability to reach orgasm.
How long should someone my age (uncircumcised) be able to last while masturbating, and how does that compare to sexual intercourse? (age 17)
You're doing fine if your masturbation sessions last 5 to 10 minutes. Sexual intercourse would be about the same, although your first few instances of intercourse might take a lot less due to the novelty of the act.
I have a problem ejaculating. I can get erections with no problem but I never ejaculate. When masturbating or looking at porn, only a small amount of semen forms at the tip. The only time a large amount comes out is in wet dreams. I don't masturbate on my stomach or anything, but I do sleep on my stomach. (age 21)
You seem to not have learned how to masturbate to orgasm. What you describe as semen forming at the tip of your penis is probably pre-cum. When it is released, it means your body is ready to ejaculate. When you get pre-cum, I advise concentrating on something that really arouses you intensely and stroking your penis as hard and fast as you can until you ejaculate. Once you have mastered this process, then you can slow down and stroke more gently and achieve the same results.
When I approach orgasm, about 20% of the time my chest and stomach breaks out in red rashes. (I am white.) I am afraid it will be a huge turnoff if I have sex. (age 15)
That is called sex flush, and it is normal. Your face might be red too. Don't worry about it turning a partner off. They are more likely to find it a turn-on, and more likely still to not notice.
I masturbate at least twice a week. Does masturbation cause you to ejaculate earlier during sexual intercourse? (age 18)
No. Masturbating can teach you to gain greater control over your ejaculations. Also, masturbating before having sexual intercourse makes it easier to delay your orgasm.
This is the coolest site I have ever encountered. Thanks for your great job. Anyway, I masturbate 2-3 times a week and I think that I am addicted to it as whenever I try to control it, I can't, and I end up masturbating. Can you tell me to how to control it as it is creating disturbance in my studies and my work? (age 19)
I don't think anyone could believe that masturbating two or three times a week at your age is addiction. Most males your age masturbate a lot more often than that. Instead of trying to control it, why don't you accept masturbation as something normal and healthy and fun? Think of it as periodic maintenance of your sex organs. You wouldn't think of flossing three times a week as being addicted, would you?
My friends and I were having a discussion about masturbation. Is it healthy for a male to masturbate a few times a day on a constant basis and does it cause damage at a later stage?
You don't say how old you are, but "a few times a day on a constant basis" is more typical for males who are about 14. As I mention on the main page of this site, eight times a week is the typical frequency for a male aged about 16-30 who doesn't have sex with partners. Excessive ejaculation doesn't cause permanent damage that I am aware of, but your prostate gland can start to hurt when it gets to be too much. There is probably no reason to worry that you are masturbating too much unless something starts to hurt.
I'm a 16 year old male and I've been masturbating for about 5 years now. I usually masturbate once a day and go for 30 minutes to an hour, taking short breaks so I don't cum. Is that bad? Are there any lubricates you can get around the house? Is it bad to masturbate for 7 hours or 6 times a day?
I advise against the breaks and not letting yourself ejaculate. The goal of masturbation should be to produce orgasm. Stopping and restarting teaches your body bad habits that will not serve you well sexually in the long run. Most guys just experimenting with lube use hand lotion or Vaseline or even cooking oil. I advise against masturbating for the duration you mention in your last question.
After making out with my girlfriend and taking her home, I go home and masturbate. I find my semen is thinner than usual. Is this normal? (age 16)
The main variable influencing the consistency of semen is the time since last ejaculation, but the amount and duration of stimulation before you ejaculate can make a difference too. If it really is thinner, it would probably be because you produce a greater volume and it therefore has a higher water content. It might be just your imagination.
When I masturbate twice in one day it seems to take longer for me to come the second time. Could masturbating an hour before intercourse make me last longer? (age 17)
Yes, it would.
Does stroking slower make you last longer when you masturbate?
I would be inclined to say it does. But you have to be able to maintain your arousal.
I ejaculate faster if I use a lubricant. Does masturbating with a lubricant usually shorten the time you have until ejaculation? (age 16)
Doing anything new when you masturbate will make you ejaculate faster. Once you are used to using lube, it will probably be about the same as it was before.
Good job on your site! It's really helpful. After I masturbate and have an orgasm, my penis stays erect. Could I be one of the few that can be multiorgasmic, or is this just because of my age? (age 13)
Once you ejaculate, you cannot have another orgasm in the same session. Multiorgasmic men learn to separate the orgasm from ejaculation and have several orgasms before finally ejaculating. The penis does not always drain of blood immediately after orgasm. Even if it stays erect (or at least large) for a few minutes, I doubt you could continue to masturbate to another orgasm.
I have always masturbated by lying on my back and rolling my penis between my thighs, back and forth, not using my hands. I have never seen any references to this method. I only discovered your site yesterday. What I do doesn't fit TMS except that it's unusual and does not involve my hands. I have had sexual difficulty my entire life. Have you heard of others who use this method? I believe that stopping it and using my hand would be helpful (and I've tried that on occasion.) (age54)
Yes, I have heard of that method before, and you are correct that it is even less popular than TMS. I suggest quitting that method and learning to masturbate normally. Please advise me afterward if it helped your sexual difficulties, as I hope it will.
I have masturbated for approximately two years but have probably about 90%-95% of the time withheld the flow of semen until I could conveniently arrange for something to receive it, sometimes longer than others. I read on HealthyStrokes.com that this can cause damage to blood vessels and nerves in the perineum. Do you think damage may have been done, and if so is it possible for it to heal? What kind of symptoms would be caused by such damage, perhaps increased difficulty to become erect and decreased potency of erection? (age 16)
The danger is using force against your perineum or by squeezing your penis tightly in order to prevent ejaculation. If you are merely contracting the muscles on the inside, that will do no harm. You are correct about the symptoms that could result from excessive force against your genitals. The first thing to do is stop the offending behavior. No more squeezing. Just let the semen shoot where it goes and clean it up afterward. Or else have the cloth ready before you start to masturbate. You ought to heal fine by simply stopping.
I would like to thank you for reading this. I appreciate the time you take to help others by answering questions about the more taboo subjects of society. I have been masturbating before bed almost every night since I was 12. I am concerned about my penis when it is not erect. The diagrams on this site show the penis draping down over the scrotum. Mine sort of retracts into my body. Is that normal? Also, how can I train myself not to come so quickly? (age 18)
There are any number of sites about premature ejaculation. Just work at lasting 30 seconds longer each time you masturbate or have intercourse. You will build up delay techniques if you can do that, and eventually you will be able to last as long as your partner. Your penis is normal, especially if you are overweight.
I just wanted to say thank you for providing the information on this site. It has answered a lot of questions that I had been trying to figure out myself for a very long time. I looked it up because a good friend of mine's boyfriend was diagnosed by his family doctor as having TMS, and I was curious as to what it was so I looked it up. I personally tried masturbation in that manner when I was a lot younger but never found it particularly fun and quite painful. Needless to say I turned to much better (not to mention much healthier) alternatives. The point of this comment: to say thank you for providing this resource. It is a very valuable and educational site that I would personally recommend it as essential reading for pretty much anybody in their teens (or older). I feel cheated that information this important wasn't taught to me in school. (age 18)
Always glad to help. I am surprised to learn that there are family doctors making diagnoses of TMS. Would you care to email me privately to share with me details of this situation? (I am looking for ways to inform more doctors about TMS.)
I have been masturbating nearly every day for 22 years now. And at times when I masturbate, I ejaculate a great amount of semen, and other times I do not. What causes me to ejaculate a great amount at times, and a small amount at times?
Usually it is the interval of time since you last ejaculated. However, it can also be related to the intensity of your orgasm. Most men will tell you that a really great orgasm is accompanied by a massive ejaculation, and sometimes a poor orgasm comes with only a small ejaculation. It is probably not a problem.
I have masturbated for about seven months now and every time I do, my pelvis contracts and I feel a tingle in my crotch. I've pre-cummed, but never ejaculated. Is this OK? (age 13 and 7 months)
Yes, that is OK, but if you feel contractions inside your pelvis, you are very close to orgasm. You might stroke as hard as you can at that point. Once you figure out how to orgasm, you can go back to stroking with moderate pressure.
I masturbate about once or twice a day and I ejaculate about 2 minutes into my session. Is there any way I can learn to hold my orgasm and masturbate longer? (age 14)
That will come with experience. Two minutes isn't a bad duration at your age.
If I have low sperm count will wearing boxers help to increase sperm count? If so, why? (age 33)
Yes. Many men have noticed this. The testes work best when they are cooler than the rest of the body. That is why there are in a sac outside the body. Briefs tend to heat testes to body temperature by holding them close. Briefs and loose-fitting clothing in general let testes maintain their ideal temperature.
When you are aroused, is it normal to produce pre-cum, even though your penis may not be erect? (age 16)
Yes. When you are first aroused, your penis will erect, but it will not necessarily stay up for the duration of your arousal. It probably won't. But you can emit pre-cum even if you're not erect, and you probably will if you are aroused for more than a few minutes.
When I masturbate, I get a lot of pre-cum. If this happens during intercouse, can a girl get pregnant? (age 22)
Yes. That is why you use birth control during intercourse.
How does masturbation compare to intercourse, in terms of duration and sensation? (age 17)
The sensation in intercourse is less exact because while masturbating you can stroke yourself any way you like. In intercourse, there is not necessarily a corresponding sensation for everything you feel masturbating. The vagina doesn't have as many muscles as the hand. They both tend to last about the same once you are familiar with both. When you are new to intercourse, it usually doesn't take very long, but men learn to take longer as they get more experienced.
I masturbate 2 or 3 times a week. I have no problem getting an erection, as if my body knows what's coming. I've put off sex for a couple years and now I have a girlfriend whom I love. But whenever we get intimate, my body doesn't respond with what my mind wants it to do. It just doesn't go up when I'm with her. Do you think this is a mental or physical probelm? What can I do? (age 18)
I think it's nerves. Just try to relax and enjoy what you're doing. Don't worry about what she might be thinking. If you're not responding, then do what feels good for her.
I'm 14 and I masturbate 2-3 times a week. I rarely masturbate on school days. Recently I have noticed that there are patches of pre-cum in my briefs. Why is this? Happy 4th of July.
At your age, you have erections frequently. Sometimes during these erections, if you are truly aroused sexually, you will produce pre-cum. That is where they come from. Happy Fourth to you too!
I am a 20 year old university student. My first sexual experience was one year ago. It was unsuccessful. It involved vaginal sex with a girl. I didn't feel much and ultimately lost my erection. The level of stimulation was so low that there was no way I would ever have been able to ejaculate doing this. Since then, I have had two more partners and have had similar experiences with them. I cannot orgasm with them or maintain my erection for very long during intercourse. Even fellatio isn't highly stimulating, and I cannot orgasm from that. I currently have a healthy and responsive girlfriend, whom I have tried almost everything with, but we are becoming frustrated.
I am unsure if my masturbation technique would be considered TMS. I usually masturbate about twice a day, but I do not do it prone or face down. Instead it's usually in a chair or back-down in a bed. I take my (circumcised) penis, and I use my left hand to hold its base tightly. This stabilizes it and makes the upper portion and head very hard, serving almost as a cock-ring. I then use my right hand to stroke the underside of the upper portion/head by repeatedly cupping it, grasping, and pulling/rotating upwards at about the same rate as one would masturbate normally with one hand (about twice per second). I do this until I ejaculate, and I can do this with or without visual stimulation.
Could this be causing the same effects as TMS? I feel like I have most of the symptoms of TMS, though I am unsure if this is the problem. If it is, I am assuming that I should try to retrain myself in conventional masturbation? I am assuming that conventional masturbation is only one-handed stroking? Is there any writing I can find on specifically how I should/shouldn't masturbate?
You have an atypical masturbatory style which is as bad or worse than prone masturbation. The extreme amount of pressure you are putting on the base of your penis cannot be replicated in intercourse. I suggest the same abstinence and desensitization program that I recommend for males with TMS. Perhaps discuss this with your partner and plan to take a month or two off from being sexual with her.
When I masturbate, I don't ejaculate. Is that OK? (age 12)
It is fairly typical for your age. You will be ejaculating soon.
I hold my penis tightly so that I don't ejaculate in order to prevent a mess. I've been doing it for a couple of years. I recently stopped after I read your site and found out that this can be harmful. Do I need to ask the doctor to check it? (age 17)
I doubt you need a doctor. Be glad you stopped doing that while you're still young.
Your site is great and has helped me very much. I had TMS and stumbled upon your site and found out TMS was a bad thing. What is the maximum frequency a male my age should masturbate? (age 16)
I don't know that I could prescribe a maximum. I would say that most guys your age masturbate 8 times a week. I would probably tell someone your age who masturbated more than twice a day that he should cut down.
After ejaculating, I always have to spend the next 20 minutes wiping away small amounts of semen before I can put my clothes back on. This is very time-consuming because I can only masturbate in the morning before work. Are there any techniques that can shorten this time? (age 31)
After you ejaculate, only the small amount of semen remaining in the urethra can drain out. Sometimes contracting your PC muscle several times (like when you're trying to cut off the flow of urine) can send the remaining semen forward. It also helps to stand up straight, which will cause the remaining fluid to come out more quickly than if you keep lying down. Most men don't worry about a couple of drops of semen getting into their underwear.
I masturbate at least daily and it tires me out to the point that I'd really like to cut back. I seem to be addicted to it and it's the hardest thing I've ever done trying to resist those urges. Do you have any tips to help me cut back? (age 16)
Once or twice a day isn't that much. If you really want to cut back, it helps if you are in the situation that leads you to masturbate (e.g., on the computer, alone in your bedroom) less. Try to get involved in more things. Some find it helps to make a check mark in a calendar every time they masturbate. By wanting to make fewer checks, they actually masturbate less.
Instead of using my hand to masturbate up and down, I use my index finger and thumb at the base of my penis and I kinda just go up and down without actually moving. Is that normal? (age 15)
It's kind of atypical. I think you would be better off if you did not do that.
Is it safe to masturbate and stop at my pre-cum state and masturbate again until I reach my pre-cum state and I extend that process till I feel like I am ready to stop and cum? (age 14)
It is not dangerous to do that, but you are habituating your body to something that it does not need to do. It would be better to masturbate continuously to orgasm and then work at extending the time of your sessions without having to stop.
I masturbate with the tips of four fingers on the underside while the thumb rests on the top side, with the palm not involved, kind of how you would hold a microphone. Is this a bad habit? Also, I found that I do not "shoot" like some people. When I ejaculate it just comes out slowly and some of it rests on my lower abdomen or on the tip of my penis. (age 15)
I don't see a problem with your grip. Some additional practice controlling your ejaculation would let you ejaculate more forcefully.
If you ejaculate in less than 5 minutes, do you have a problem? Is too much masturbation the cause of this, and will masturbating less make you last longer when having sexual intercourse? (age 17)
Five minutes is not such a long time. In fact, it is about how long women tell surveyers they like to have intercourse. You will probably be able to last longer in both masturbation and intercourse with practice. It usually takes less time to reach orgasm the longer it has been since your last one, so actually masturbating too much would actually make you take longer to reach orgasm.
How much semen should come out during masturbation? (age 13)
One to two teaspoons is normal, but if you are new to ejaculating, less than that is also normal.
When I was about to reach orgasm I stopped masturbating for a second and then started again and repeated the process until I couldn't stand it any more and I had a HUGE orgasm and a lot more semen than usual came out! It felt so good! (age 13)
That is a pretty good technique. You are lucky to have learned it at your age. The important thing is to stop just for a second so your arousal doesn't stop.
When I was younger, I'd pleasure myself without getting erect. Usually, I'd just rub my crotch through my underpants until pleasure. Is there anything wrong with masturbating while flaccid? (age 16)
It's a bad thing to teach your body to do. It would be a much better habit not to masturbate until you're erect.
Should you be able to get an erection without rubbing yourself? I get them during school but when I go to masturbate I have to rub myself. (age 17)
Erections seem to come only when you don't want them, don't they? Just relax and concentrate on something that arouses you and you should be able to get erect without physical stimulation.
You mentioned on your TMS page that masturbating face-down puts excessive pressure on the penis. But doesn't masturbating with your hand induce the same, if not more, pressure than a soft pillow or sheet? (age 16)
No, it doesn't. A medium grip simulates a vagina quite closely. When thrusting face down, you're using all the force of your legs to stimulate your penis.
I just got a cast on my right hand. I have to keep it on for 4-6 weeks. I masturbate 5-6 times a week. I don't know how I am going to make it 4-6 weeks without masturbating. Will this be unhealthy? (age 14)
I think after about five days, you will learn to masturbate with your left hand.
Once I was masturbating and my mom walked in at the exact moment I started to ejaculate. I couldn't make it stop. She dropped the laundry and left my room really fast. Later we talked it over and she understood completely. (age 23)
What you describe is the point of ejaculatory inevitability. Once you get to it, there is no stopping your ejaculation. Even if you lose your orgasm at that point, you will still ejaculate.
Is it natural to flex your thighs while masturbating? (age 13)
I think many more men hold their legs as straight as they can.
When you say people masturbate in bed, do they just leave the semen there? (age 17)
Most clean it up with a tissue or rag.
I have been masturbating regularly since I was 12. I masturbate 2-3 times a day. Is this too much? (age 19)
It's on the high side for 19.
I am 19 and my erections aren't as good as they used to be. I used to get hard just holding hands but now it takes more effort.
It's probably mostly in your head. Some of that decline is from experience and some from age. Try not to worry about the erections so much.
I have been masturbating since I was about 12, but I think I do it too much. I masturbate twice a day and sometime my penis is unable to get erect. I don't want my girlfriend to find out. What should I do? (age 18)
If you are trying to be sexual with a female, then masturbating twice a day is too much. Twice a week would be more typical for someone in your boat.
Something really strange happened to me last year. While lifting weights (bench pressing), I suddenly ejaculated. There wasn't anything touching my penis other than the clothes that I was wearing. I went to the locker room and checked and sure enough, there was semen in my underwear. This happened three different times. Can you tell me if this ever happens to anyone else? (age 32)
It is a very rare occurrence, but sometimes ejaculation can be triggered without sexual arousal. The most common type of this is from prostate massage. Nearly all men will ejaculate sometime when they were previously sexually aroused but lost their orgasm the moment before ejaculating. Most men describe ejaculation without orgasm as not particularly pleasant.
I feel guilty. I have been masturbating for about a year now, and today I masturbated six times. I don't do this normally. Is this wrong? (age 13)
It isn't wrong. You shouldn't feel guilty. It is quite a high frequency, however. You might enjoy it more if you didn't try to do it six times in one day.
Do males only ejaculate because of masturbation, intercourse or a wet dream? Does intercourse end right after the male ejaculates? (age 14)
The three you mentioned account for almost all ejaculations. Keep in mind that oral sex and manual sex are forms of intercourse. Very rarely there are ejaculations which are not the result of orgasm or sexual arousal, but most males will never experience these. After a male ejaculates, his penis becomes too sensitive to continue having intercourse.
Is it OK if boys masturbate before they can ejaculate? (age 12)
Yes. They might even be able to have multiple orgasms, which they almost certainly won't be able to do once they can ejaculate.
For some reason it's really hard for me to masturbate normally. I have to lie down on my bed, and move left to right. Is this normal? Yesterday my mom walked in on me doing so. She just said "oh" and walked away, but now I'm extremely embarrassed. What should I do? (age 15)
The method of masturbating you described is atypical. I think you ought to follow the steps on the main page of this site and learn the conventional method. I think your mom understands. You shouldn't worry about her seeing you either.
Lately I've been masturbating by rubbing my penis through my underwear while sitting on a chair. I usually just stimulate the bottom of the penis and the scrotum. Is that healthy? I think those are the same areas that are stimulated while masturbating prone. (age 19)
The problem isn't the areas that are stimulated but the overall feeling that one gets. It happens that masturbating prone feels less like intercourse than masturbating conventionally does. What you describe is an atypical style. It would be better if you didn't do it that way.
Why do people moan or scream while masturbating? (female, age 12)
It's a way of releasing tension and some say it makes the orgasm more intense.
When I masturbate, I usually wipe on the couch or a pillow and I think my parents and sister know. What should I do? (age 15)
I suggest mopping up with a rag or tissue, or else rub it on your body where no one else has to know about it.
Is it true that if you don't masturbate for a while that the testosterone accumulation will increase the length and girth of your penis? (age 17)
No. Testosterone is not stored in the penis, and not masturbating doesn't cause it to accumulate.
If you masturbate or have sex too frequently, will it ever get to a point that it won't feel good anymore? (age 17)
You can enjoy it forever. It might feel less good from day to day if you're overdoing it, but you can fix this simply by increasing the interval.
This morning, I was doing my usual masturbating. When I was climaxing, I could feel it release, but nothing came out. I kept stroking a little, but nothing at all came out. My penis didn't feel fully erect when it happened. Is this bad? (age 17)
One unsatisfying session does not mean much. Don't worry about it unless it starts happening repeatedly.
I have beeen masturbating since before puberty. I've always had premature ejaculation. I tried abstaining and found that the longer I prevent myself from masturbating (especially TMS position) the longer I can last. I have on very few occasions managed to last for 3-5 minutes but that was without any pictures. Normally if I want to last more than a minute, I can't unless I stop or alternate the pressure from base to head. I used to masturbate prone and thanks to your site I'm stopping. Is there a cure for premature ejaculation? (age 18)
Premature ejaculation refers to an inability to make intercourse last. You only seem to describe masturbation. The amount of time you take while masturbating is not such a big deal, but it's better if you can work at lengthening it. Changing positions, stopping, and avoiding erotogenic thoughts and images are all strategies males use when trying to prolong their masturbation sessions. I don't think you have a problem.
I've heard about females being multi-orgasmic, but can males also train themselves to be multi-orgasmic? (age 14)
Yes, some men can. There is a book out about that called Any Man Can.
How come some males say "I masturbate but I don't produce semen?" Are males supposed to get an orgasm every time they masturbate? If they don't produce semen how can they ejaculate? If they don't ejaculate then that is not masturbation. (age 16)
The males who ask that are very young, not having reached puberty. The vast majority of males orgasm whenever they masturbate. Males who know how to masturbate but aren't producing semen yet can reach orgasm, but they don't ejaculate. It is still considered masturbation even if they can't ejaculate.
I have never masturbated before. After reading your web site, it seems very bad. I never had the urge to masturbate but recently I got a girlfriend and sometimes I get aroused which leads to some discharge. This made me start thinking about masturbation so I was wondering if there is something wrong? You say everyone has started by the age of 15. I still get wet dreams occasionally as well. If I haven't started yet, do I need to? (age 20)
Nearly everyone has started by age 16. Although I find it very hard to believe you've never engaged in masturbation, which I regard as a very good thing, and I suggest you start now.
When I masturbate, I don't feel that something special like some people say. Does that mean I'm not having an orgasm? Should I feel dizzy when I have an orgasm? had that feeling very few times in my life. Will it help if I stopped masturbation for a while? (age 16)
Some people feel dizzy. When you get the dizzy feeling, try masturbating intensely for a few minutes longer. You might be missing the orgasms because you stop just as they're getting closer.
Whenever I masturbate I always tense my legs up and make them stiff. Why is this? Is there a way to control my breathing during an orgasm because sometimes it gets kind of loud? (age 14)
A lot of males tense their legs up. It's not harmful. It makes it easier to concentrate on the feeling of masturbating because it inhibits distracting feelings from the legs. A lot of males (and females) muffle their orgasms with a pillow.
This site has helped me a lot. You say that orgasm usually lasts for 8 seconds. When I masturbate, the orgasm doesn't last that long. Merry Christmas. (age 12)
I think they will take longer when you get older. Try to enjoy what you are getting now. Merry Christmas to you too!
In our dorm in boarding school we have masturbating contests to see who can ejaculate first. (age 13)
Contests like that are very bad. They condition you to ejaculate quickly, and I think you would have enjoy it a lot more if you learned to take your time. There is no need to compete.
About two months ago I figured out how to separate my orgasms from my ejaculations. Usually I masturbate and then ejaculate and stop and then masturbate again until I have a second orgasm and second ejaculation! Is this considered multiple orgasms? (age 14)
What you describe is not multiple orgasms. You are masturbating twice back to back. Multi-orgasmic men (there are not many) can orgasm without ejaculating, so they can keep masturbating or having sex until they have more orgasms and only ejaculate when they decide they're finished.
Ever since I was able to orgasm I have masturbated about 3 times a day. Am I still able to have wet dreams or should I just stick with masturbation? (age 14)
I have no idea why you would want to give up masturbation, since you seem to be one of the most prolific practitioners of it. Most males in your position will not have wet dreams.
When I masturbate and reach the point where I orgasm, I do not ejaculate and if I continue to masturbate it would start to hurt. I am uncircumcised and am wondering if I am masturbating correctly. Is the foreskin meant to be pulled down during masturbation? I cannot pull my foreskin all the way down while erect. While orgasming I can feel my penis contract and relax over and over again so I was wondering if that was stopping the ejaculation. (age 14)
It appears that you are not able to ejaculate yet. When a male orgasms, he normally stops masturbating because the penis becomes too sensitive. I suspect that you will be ejaculating within a few months and that your concern is related to that rather than to being uncircumcised.
I MUST have my legs spread far apart to achieve orgasm, unless I'm standing up. I don't know how to stop. (age 12)
You are learning. I don't see the harm in doing that while you're learning. Just work on moving your legs closer together. I think you will get over this pretty quickly.
I've noticed that having a few drinks makes it harder for me to get aroused and when I do get it up, it seems to take forever to cum. It's almost numb. I was wondring if you could tell me exactly how alcohol affects masturbation/sex/orgasm etc. (age 18)
Alcohol is a useless drug that is bad for your sexuality. In the short term, it makes it more difficult to achieve erection and reach orgasm, and in the long term, alcohol abuse can lead to impotence. If you must use alcohol, it is important to use it in moderation, and given your history, perhaps to avoid it completely when you are planning to be sexual.
Is it normal to have a sudden urge to masturbate even when whatever you're doing has absolutely nothing to do with sex? (age 15)
Yes, especially at your age. It's a good idea not to act on those urges unless you have proper privacy.
Sometimes I stop when I am just reaching the orgasm and repeat it 4-5 times. Then I feel very good while having orgasm and a lot more semen comes out. Is this OK? (age 14)
Do you mean you stop and restart 4-5 times? That is not a good practice. When you get a little older, you will not be able to retain an erection after stopping like that. It is better if you can masturbate continuously to a single orgasm.
I am 18 years old and lost my virginity a few months ago. I have an uncicumcised penis and it's very sensitive and whenever I have sex, I ejaculate very soon, like 10 minutes. After I do, the penis goes soft and it takes time for it to get hard again.
That is all normal. 10 minutes is pretty good for someone new to sex. In fact, it is longer than women care to go on average. There is nothing unusual about you.
I have been masturbating for a couple of years now. Is semen supposed to shoot out or just leak out? Can parents really smell semen? (age 15)
It is better if it shoots instead of leaks. You can make it shoot by contracting your PC muscle for just a second right before you ejaculate. People, especially women, can smell semen.
Very rarely I will masturbate and ejaculate and I will still be hard, so I keep masturbating and ejaculate a second time. This is very rare and I cannot try to force it to happen. I masturbate once daily, not because I really want to, but more out of habit. Is that bad? (age 15)
Sometimes at your age the second session is immediately possible. It is not a bad thing. When you masturbate and don't want to, it suggests compulsive masturbation. You would enjoy it more if you only did it when you really wanted to.
During masturbation, if a man doesn't release his semen, what will happen to the semen in the shaft? (age 17)
It will dribble out after the erection goes down.
What is the minimum number of times that I should masturbate to stay healthy? Is it OK to stimulate the head of my penis? (age 16)
Once every two weeks is the absolute minimum, but Dr. Graham Giles recommends six times a week. It's OK to stimulate the head, especially if you use lube, but most males find it gets too sensitive and so they don't touch it as much as they do the shaft.
The last time I masturbated, my orgasm lasted 16 seconds. On this site it says that a single orgasm lasts for about 8 seconds. Am I having multiple orgasms? (age 12)
No, just a long one.
I'm 17 years old and have never been able to ejaculate when I get an erection. I get wet dreams regularly. I masturbate but have never been able to ejaculate. Could you please tell me what's wrong and how I could solve this problem?
Just relax and try to focus on having an orgasm when you masturbate. Keep stroking when you get the feeling inside like when a wet dream is about to happen. You'll figure it out soon.
Is it bad if you try to hold back ejaculation? I did that today and I felt pain in my testicles and some other spots. (age 14)
Yes, that is a bad thing. If you build up a load of semen by getting aroused, it's best to ejaculate it.
I am not sure if i have "premature ejaculation." I can masturbate and get to the point where I can orgasm pretty easily, but when I get to that point, I make myself "hold it in" for as long as I can and continue masturbating. Is this normal and what most guys do? (age 15)
I think most guys just have the orgasm when they get the feeling, so if you can last longer, you're doing better than most.
Sometimes when I look at pictures I will get an erection and I decide to masturbate even though I know I don't want to. As I masturbate I stop about a minute before I ejaculate. About 2 minutes after I stop a clear liquid comes out of penis. I believe that is "pre-ejaculation" but I'm not sure. (age 15)
Yes, that is pre-ejaculate, also known as bulbourethral fluid or pre-cum. If you don't want to masturbate, then why do you look at those pictures when you know they will give you an erection? I think you really do want to masturbate. You would enjoy it more if you admitted that.
Many older questions from readers have been moved to one of these topic pages:
- Penis and anatomy
- Sexual response & puberty
- Fantasies, fetishes & unusual practices
- Sexual problems, aches & pains
- Sex with partners
HealthyStrokes.com is not designed to provide medical advice and does not provide medical advice. All material is for information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional or medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment. Please review the information contained on HealthyStrokes.com carefully and confer with your doctor, psychologist, or other health care professional as needed.